The Seattle Star Newspaper, March 31, 1914, Page 4

Sa ec TR RR a et tee RE Ree RR gy THE STAR—TUESDAY, MARCH 31, 1914. THE SEATTLE STAR’S LAUGH DEPARTMENT OF SCRIPPS NORTHWEST LEAGUE OF NEWSPAPERS ° ° searaph Nome Service of he Uiod rose Anseiaton. | OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT TRUE a A QUEAK FROM ri CASH COUNTS You save on an average 20 per cent by buying for Spinning’s—on many articles more. The bank pays 4 per deposits. “Motto’—Buy here; increase your deposits; add to eattie, Wash atoffice as Second-Clase Matt | By H. M. Cochran your wealth, and get just as much merchandise 1 ees ae . 2 —_— - a titeee claim he'e dumt et n 25e Solid Brass Cabin Door Hook and Kye, with 1x1% plate i re “aon “re 40; year § ——E . | They claim he's dumb, and yet 1 think 26 abin 4 pla mati, out alty, #5 » r mon. Up ix Bits ; 7 GIMME A CIFT x | tite human in 9 we tiie Double Cylinder 8 Auto Pump $2.00 4 Pup Phom P1008 - : /ON THE OVERCOAT, What ° ew Way Dandelion and Weed Puller change com departments, ‘ = i 3 he txchange comm * YES, WE'VE ‘SEEN ihe Brass Plated Secrot Gate Latch 4he ver -Keady $7.50 50-ft. F ter $1.50 t Cotton Hone . 36.85 $4.00 25-ft, samme sereres BBe 4 Water Filter and Anti-Splasher ‘ 6 for 2he: ) dor ihe o) { $1.00 Wileox-Prieson Gate Hinge 6 THIS FILM BEFORE. WHERE Wwe f GOING Now £ The Ostrich Policy Toward Unemployment O to any banker, ( C Commerce ficial or city him what the assessed valu oye in Seat % employe in Sea and Lateh Te Dull Brass Finish Transom ation is for the tota t the yearly output of the ind he'll answer’ c fhand are bat Down took But ask, when business is slack, | many folks arg ‘ > ! zie | t . nox | Keys Filed, Razore Nar value of Sharpened, Bicycles Re paired, Lawn Mowers Made We had an iustr ation of that try h nm a bros * BY JIM MANEE to Cut Well. z @uly the other day when \ at ' : ewan aa ae ade 1415 Fourth Commission was quoted as esti ‘ eaa aver soerete.’ AY me (oer 4 1417 A Mnemployed in our largest dit, it have 2 x Ge Te cenrs ) Cs ee ve. been nothing but a guess; and he says he didn't say tt ornd : re — | er @ disclaimer which obviously gave relief to the politician ; Ot his party YourRe “ Get MUSTEROLE Today The secretary of commerce f t know—he GOING DOWN P. 8—Musle hath charms to — ' . sale ed as much in a recent nicely se 1 wit FOR THE shoot the composer at #unrixe Ve for Lumbago! — *timism. : Ha, He | HELP ELVES BY It's an amazingly quick relief, és Yet can you think of informatt i great oy A Brooklyn man claims to have | And {t's so easy to use. 4 rtance? Aiscoverd the “fruit of tol He | You just rub MUSTEROLE ia © All civilization is strained £ t when says bis earnings go toward mab | briskly, and presto, the paired m who are eager to work an't 1 work ing his wife a “peact gone—a dalioiows, soothing comfort siness of sc utior ‘ comes to take its place. I do. It is the busine f * f ; t Foe 4 “ ; Cruel ieee ( > ; ee MUSTEROLE {s a clean, white ‘of eement to ay as quick a Podan et it ark don't know whether to be s wine, Marthe W ashington Home ointment, mate with off o¢ mai eee ene SO mena opty there's much to be said on both new office and information bureau | ‘2%. Use it instead of siusuam how cowardly not to canvass the fact ane see plaster. Will not blister. Why has"this obvious duty been so badly neglected? "Naturally, There are women Literature and statistios concern TEnot on rescennaatt i ‘Tt is Ricecne ill-distributed wealth and a false notion of what on both sides, aren't there tng the ant problem may be ane an ommend it tom mess security unite to keep the facts of un- Bt ad free of charge | the ents. _ Constitutes ‘re eee ya? P Geesip he housemaids themselves are| 7 hey will gladly tell you what ree employment in the bac Ker I've been terribly busy lately, | | paying the expense of the organiza-|llef it gives from Sore Throaga Min | Bronchitis, Croup, Stiff Neck One of the girls has donated $250|A*thina, Neuralgia, Congestion, to the cause, Every dollar of the| Pleurisy, Rheumatism, Lumbago, [gift ie a sacrifice and i# actuated | Pains and Aches of the Back oF by an intense desire for better|Joints, Sprains, Sore Muscles) @ working conditions Bruises, Chilblains, Frosted Featy my dear,” “What's going ont” “Oh, nothing more than usual SEEMS AS if something ought to be done for thosa tango dancers New York who now have to quit at 2 a. m. under the new law. Still, could do it from: 2 a. m. until daylight In their own flate—if the! Ser thine ane 40 many new tone eye me were alee “eine iiies in our community, you HER | a know.” A A a Hi x cate | ‘The foundation ts being Iaid for Colds of the Chest (it prevents: | Transformation an extensive benefit organization. | Pneumonia) 4 e’re Lucky in Having Him PC MERL ya aengeceerne bg Gtiecsiye “besetit: oreasitetios: | Ac rons aracicaa Prove it lague, which is taking 20.9 of| Jars, and a special large hospital: ACK in Ohio, engineers of the highest repute ir BACK i ee See how often he turns a 1 the bousemaids. This is the | size for $2.50. a profession have been called into conference to turtle dove into a snapping highest death rate from consump. Accept no substitute If you Me fasting plan, contemplating the expenditure of $15,000,000, | turtle.” tfon of any occupati |druggist cannot supply you, sen at oo AY the ever- recaesine certs pdtpdigh< A meeting of interest to home to the MUSTERO! HM. Ch \ Seatt! mabbink « of rT. Cc owe an ‘ A Light View | workers will be held next Wednes- | Company, Cleveland, Ohio, and And Gen hittenden of eattle, president ' Wilte—-Pa, what is a lunch | ‘ night at the Woman's Ex will mail you a jar, postage hange, $15 Third av. ‘OHIO MINERS TO | ee € port commission, has been honored by election as chair | pe : ° ath he feminine — for n by these counsellors } | Father—The = Seattle is indeed fortunate that a man possessing the) e ta r 1 er Junch, my fon, | shnical learning and skill, and the administrative capac ity| a | © Gen. Chittenden should give the city the best service H l h R l The 8? | | | shoul” ive ‘the ity th vice aes eee | GO ON STRIKE is in him in an honorary position, for which Ohi on ea t u es Bg Hepes . is glad to pay handsomely : It depende on wheth r O., March Fifty This port will do well to induce Gen. Chittenden to DITOR OF THE STAR: Y ts married to him or not 0 coal miners will ) is : 81 our ° ‘sO! ‘ a mut “7 . “ " @ccept another ternr on the commission EK pagar of Marek calaht bo Shanth repecting < kuuines ht, as a result of the Ca wisicnans prescribing golf for a li seatie” dian te Grime tee Se miners’ and mine owners’ failure to agree on a wage scale in place of |——__ ROOSEVELT |S going to push Goethals to the front as presidential rules were practical, says Eastern paper. As there is no wire connection with the Don't worry, you sa of the Amazon, Teddy's comment can only be imagined. The one who does not werry is a standpa Progress js inspired by the malcontent w would be practiced to quite athor of fairy tales? 7 Kreatent the one expiring with the last day in| irimm is dead, my dear.| 4% xy Cunrons March a kon| Your father is now’ IN hen) unger maker | oa 8 | Reported Ambassador +e How to Look Years Less Than Your Age face will look years | the use of ordinary | mercolized wax for from ten days te two weeks. This remarkable sub- beyond the reach of 90 per cent of the people banks be limited to $1,000 per individual? Why shoul 4) Fresh air costs money, If you don't belleve ft, start something I a be any limit ? | street car by opening a window ” ais If you live downtown, a The postal is safer than any other sort of bank in the! on the hill intry. If the postal bank is merely to draw “hoardings’’|taln drynes it of stockings and old tea-pots—which it is—why not draw The distribution of the necessary Mra. Rappe—Not very well; he can't get asleep before midnight of her talking, and eop the rest of the | of his snoring. ; him Incapable of laughing at small troubles, and whose existence In 80 COMMON ss a Limit ? ever-increasing numbers Is commanding attention and forcing a read-| Not Very Well Fete tee diiwen lt: cies ign idyll 1480 Gecohd Avani Jusiment of living conditions Mrs. Gappo—How do they get | Lor ° fe po HY SHOULD the interest-bearing deposit in the postal Following those rules costs #0 many extra peuuier that they are} elena topether? | pposite Bon Marche, 1 nitary room comes high. If you live out basement to keep out “ground air” and a furnace to main- and comfors with windows open, all cost money some, plain foods Naturally ay i iene is expensive. Canned goods, even cann are jess “trouble” (tem Cobb—What did the dancers all such “hoardings porarily), and tently cost less. Wholesome egss are sot s Thus far the postal bank has been pretty much a silly} “out of the question” to a poor famtt) Many families that demand Nothing > wane jon so far as public benefit is concerned. Uncle Sam's! far more of my tima than they can afford to pay for, feel they can't tal holdings of less than $30,000,000 would be considered | afford, and suffer the consequences of not affording, meat more than twice a week having @ dreas rehes eee an being « purely hy«ien natural complexior Three! ene P@ trifle by several corporation banks, not considering the As for avolding alcohol: Many of the trouble {dental to the Teacher—How many sexes are a atfferent trom the} Fidiculously small interest paid strain of trying to make ends meet are ame! y the judicious there? bowen’ pitaa ann ses Gh. nlashctin ‘hewatkaen Nak Tha ebahen or ate. eoquential Little Roy—Three of childis True-to-Nature Teeth 4 AS USUAL, report is issued that peach crop in Middle West is dam-| rather than cau@ative of most of the trouble for which ft ts blamed Teacher—Three! What are |Sttainable at any drug store is suf} “Bged by frost in December and warm weather in February. Of course, Grinding too long on one task” is practically forced upon many ? ficlent to Tajurenate any complexion: | The Finest Production of D Little Roy—The male sex, the gid cream at bed.- male nex, and the {nsects ‘Pe tie ‘ thao coven ne eradicate buch ene marke as | Examination and advice qn and furrows, make a wash | Gold Crowns (22-k. and ext ANIMALS YOU make enough out of it, or at th »or & change of work or Interests ¢ is such that supply and demand }are rarely regulated » paucity of skilled Inbor, of which employers Honorable Suspension Becaiat utente tus asccattctug meatal Ate iomeeee toe HE 12 Buffalo, N. Y., street car crews, suspended because °** they do not give enough consideration to the conditioning of mus'| te opie to make a success of It est of employers. To a large num “peaches will be high this year. a jis fot availabl Our economic fab: ving i os. powd: t. witch hazel. This| heavy) ... 0 nderful astringent and tonic 7 . It quickly effaces Bridgework (strictly firsts, 1 beg par said the Seat reporter, “but are you Mr. 4 id cles of their workers Spudde BE vo Ps | “ye oe they refused to carry militia to quell Lancaster car| Cordially, ie ‘ Sp sig the re yay ay DO NOT KNOW is nak ingens ah’ \class), per Tooth .....$5.00- shop strikers, may well feel proud of the reason for their} eben wes tecoae 1 Coto Bide. term.” replied the Seattle com- | | ” |Gold Fillings .....$1.50 Up” 5 ) s spirit as hav | mission magnate, testily. “OM | p Buspension. They scem to have the same sp as have TOTAL ABSTINENCE Jof sharp competition the employer| kings and cattle kings and the |NAVY YARD ROUTE | True-to-Nature Teeth, per set Steamers HB Kennedy, Tourist and Athiel Ls cue sede $5.00 to $15.00 | | | the 100 English ‘officers who resigned rather than go into Editor The Star: I do not like to| !# entitled to buy labor as cheaply| iike are eo common. Call me a "active duty against the Ulstermen. |hear people sanction moderate | #8 he buys anything else. He does | eee Most white men nowadays don’t relish the idea of shoot-| drinking. It makes me nk of a root beggar eccegpers 8 They ate Small Giri Knew Boge egg tae sm pegs {m. (Finest Teeth in the world.) white men, especially t ‘ Sa y , woman with wh r whe | Soe hot universa here At the close of his talk before exce i Sunday 2:90), 6:20 p m. 4 ing caged hite men, especially when the others are fighting | "0! pai el whose hus-| Will have to be a complete realign-| @ certain Sunday school in Beat. | aturda 146 B® All Work Guaranteed 15 Years. — aor a living. band wag a moderate drinker. ment of human ambitions if em-| tle the bishop invited questions. | | ackime Table subject to change without] | Endorsed by leading | busiaaaay . | | notice men d the dental profession 7 If the question of drink came up ployers are to pay their workers | A tiny boy, with white, eager TOBACCO TRUST got another hard rap in New York the other day.|she scored the radicalism of people What they would Ike to pay them) fac Doctor said smoking reduces mental efficiency 10 per cent. Some of who believed in and preached total #nd still compete with others tn a a Trip. eee rall hone Main S101, Fare Soe i at once held up his hand lease, sir,” sald he, “why | he stuff offered as tobacco might reduce efficiency 90 per cent. abstinence. But for several days the same line MF. was Adam never a baby?” | -— at a time she looked sad and down ; | "The bishop coughed in doube | The Shoe Repair Man 3 COPY OF “Hamlet” has been sold for $100,000. Discouraged authors bearted. Finally she came to me ASSESSMENT APPROVED | an to what answer to give, but a Union St.—2 Shope—110 Madison should find comfort in the fact that their product may be equally well) with her burden — little girl, the eldest of several appreciated 200 years after their death. Don't tell any one, but - The assessment roll for grading| brothers and sisters came nas been drinking #0 much wine| Montlake boulevard at a cost of| promptly to his ald lately that he is, O! #0 ugly to me.” | $163,479.15 and paving for Eastiake| “Please, sir,” abe answered, Beauty but Health? ing. He was held high up as an example of a moderate drinker tn And the Basis of Her Health| and Vigor Lies in the that community, He is not the only mederate drinker whose In- Careful Regulation of the Bowels. EAST Daily June 1 to Sept. 30 TO NORWAY for Norwegian Centennial saad on sale for April 20, 25 and 30 GO WITH THE SONS OF NORWAY on their Specially Char tered American Line 8. 8, “St. Paul,” from New York May 7. SPECIAL NORTHERN PACIFIC TRAIN from Pacific Coast to | Minneapolis and St, Paul, where passengers will meet those from | Montana, the Dakotas, Minnesota and etsewhere, and proceed to | New York to embark on steamer in one grand party. Or, secure passage ON ANY TRANS-ATLANTIC STEAMSHIP | LINE. Let us make your reservation now, TO CHICAGO For Biennial Musical Festival | Tickets May 19 and 20 side life has been revealed to me. Total abstinence is the only safe | course for any man to follow. | Wm. V. L. | DIVORCE EVIL | Editor The Star: In regard to the divorce evil, in my opinion an} honest investigator 1s a most ex-| ellent plan. I belleve that at one-third of the divorces are | ed by fraud, and if the judge would insist upon elther a personal or written statement from the op- posite party it would be found that many men and women get divorces on grounds of desertion when the wife or husband ia heart-broken at | the separation, but too loyal to try to hold the one wishing release. | In most of these instances, had fe ease ta toce MRS. C. 8. VANCE the case first been inevatigated the , court would have refused to sign are served daintily and they doj|stand harsh salts, cathartica a A alte, |, pills e decree 4 SBE |mot exercise enough. But what-or purgatives. These should al bosch reer A Little Goggle-Eyed Goblin of the Philippines If woman's beauty depended upon cosmetics, every woman would be a picture of loveliness. But beauty Mes deeper than that. It lies in health. In the majority of cakes the basis of health, and the cause of sickness, can be traced to the ac ition of the bowels. The headaches, the lassitude, the sallow skin and the lusteriess eyes @re usually due to constipation. So | | Many things that women do habit- nally conduce to this trouble. They “The goblins’ll git you, ef you | don't watch out!” There really are goblins! Unele Sam's got a few running around at large in the Philippine Islands They're little animals called tar |siers, They belong to the Lemur }famfly, Lemur {s the Latin word for “ghost,” which shows that nat | uralists long ago were struck by! the resemblance of this family of animals to weird ghosts and gob lins. The uncanniness of the little creatures, which are greatly feared by tha natives, is Increased by thetr goggle-eyes and by the fact| } that they are seen slinking around Baking Powder Saves Health an One especially suited to their dell It can be conveniently ob ate requirements, is Dr. Caldwell’s at any drug store at fifty cents or Syrup Pepsin, which thousands of one dollar a bottle. Results are al-\tertaint he hile th fet women endorse highly, among them | ways guaranteed or money wilt be| young. i> Mag ie ae ee oe Get 8. Vance, of 511 8. Ray st..!refunded. You will find {t gentle) han Proscdela in sat Ok shone “A [Hew Caste, Pa. At times she had in action, pleasant in taste, and ning. By and by epinsterhood | Bpeils of indigestion #o severe that free from griping, and its tonic! jooma up ominousle, and then tt 1a | q pabe thought she would die. Syrup | properties have a distinct value to too late for ber to attract « man, Pepsin regulated her stomach and n. It is the most widely used}ao ghe has to be content with the ‘bowels, and she attriyuies her ex- ve-tonic in America today and| next best substitute Tt Pratose 4 Cellent health today to this remedy. |thousands of families are now| well for the girls to keep an eye o: All the family can use Dr. Cald- | never without it ieee detec” tect “aaa” wood ee Well’s Syrup Pepsin, for thousands) Families wishing to try a free|he generally proves to be the| of mothers give it to babies and|sample bottle can obtain it post-|home-maker after all children. It is also admirably | paid by addressing Dr. W. B. Cald ONE OF THEM ‘suited to the requirements of elder-| well, 419 Washington at., Monti e kal ir people, in fact to all who by/|cello, Ill. A postal card with ‘our EVILS OF COMPETITION that dresses the nicest, tangoes the best and spends his salary en + | ever the particular cause may be| ways be avoided, for at best their r y voided, fe , e SOME GOOD ADVICE jonly in the dark | /ft ts important that the condition effect is only for that day, while a pe . pad should be corrected. gennine remedy ke Syrup Pepsin! ; Ealtor The Star y. The young TO ATLANTA, GA | Beet cy fo women ana Sala ena yh et nal, de aves Wioney [To sTAND TRIAL ng bake arg | courting ds ’ fe. yot i | | Tickets May 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Rates are open to all. For information and sleeping car steamer R RVATIONS ON STEAMSHIPS OF ALL thane ATLANTIC LID apply to H. N. KENNEDY, Gen. Agt. J. O.“McMULLEN, City Pass, Agt. Telephone, Elliott 5750. 107 Yesler Way, Seattle, Wash. NORTHERN PACIFIC RAILWAY A. D. CHARLTON, A. G, P. A,, Portland, Or, |_ VANC OUVER, B, C., March 81, |George Ball, alias Blair, arrested tn Calgary last week on suspicion of! being one of the men who held up| |the Great Northern train near |Samish, Wash, and killed three peo ple, February 20, will be taken to: day to Mt. Vernon to stand trial | . Ball has waived extradition ‘TO OPEN DANCE | CHICAGO, March 31.—The city [Seccs teiye 9-7 ea a STAR WANT ADS BRING RESULTS 4 an Makes Better Food of age or infirmity cannot|name and address on it will do. Editor The Star: In these days