The Seattle Star Newspaper, January 7, 1913, Page 4

Oe eee! ee ne * Qondy! We can now — ‘ THE STAR—TUESD AY, JANUARY 7, 1913. Oh, Just Look! Doc Cook Says That Fifteen Hundréd Years Hence World Is Due for Another Chilly Glacial Period 400, Go, Phone: Bxchenge Main By Fred L. Boalt. Without teing to be too exact as to time, the world i NEXT, GOVERNMENT OWNERSHIP OF ALL ‘ ‘NATION'S RAILROADS which we live i# due for another glacial period tn about 15,000 years, Dr, Frederick A. © i ership of railroads, It is coming} 4» exploring the wilds of vau Hail to government ownership © canoes he Sie See wrapidly. © 3 ‘ a day at Pantaged theatre this The astounding popularity of the parcels post, as shown waste, Saw Tul aap arena fa Seattle and the rest of the soeeiey. is its very first ve Jepeatediae ri oa ys, i han the express compani The prospect, however, \s ome days, is keeping more tha | ceenn anne, Speen, jaan opel : i fuge to worry, There is a vital, brotherly, almost life-and death ee Them {8 a more immediate between express and railroad companies. This country 3} prospect which concerus., us been among the few in the past which failed to give its people? deeply. We do not expect to the benefits of a parcels post. This country is still among live 15,000 years. And when eg we sl off this mortal cotl the few civilized nations which do not own their railroads. hele oer oa yes ied As the parcels post grows in popularity, as the volume of to bellows, is in the temperate besiness grows, as the demands for a greater limit than 11] gone, and when Lucifer foil it ~. § a f rove ¢ vill be con-| was not in polar regions that nds are met and satisfied, the government wi ‘ : . f I yresent| he set up his establishment. mted with a bigger and bigger postal deficit unless { Ah, no! We do not greatly Ceaditions art changed. This deficit has been with us for! oar the cold, Not the cold! years. President Taft, in his characteristic feeble way, tried to Wout BE hepa od ae the ° y advocating higher postal rates on] TO BE LIVING THEN, . welve the problem by advocating hig I Indeed, there fo something _ Magazines, ‘ e eed : alluring about the picture But the solution does riot lie there, and certainly will not] Which the sturdy doctor draws. He there when the parcels post is broadened adequately in] We are inclined to regret that he has set the time so far tn the future when the ice elds of the North shall begin their southward creep, to join forces with the frozen cohorts from the farther Pole, and King Frost shall rule the world. We should like to be living every respect to meet the needs of the people. : ” The United States will then become the biggest ex- press company in the world, and, in the past, the biggest express companies have always managed to get a good foothold in some railroad or railroads, Uncle Sam will be no different. Uncle Sam will find he must go into government ownership to keep that postal deficit down and to make his express business possible. iN HERE'S TO UNCLE SAM'S RAILROAD SYSTEM, IT’S GOING TO REACH US QUICKER THAN MOST OF US EXPECTED. MISREPRESENTING THE ASSETS It is encouraging to note that Lawson’s contention, to-wit, that the government, through the postal department, can do a few obstructive things to stock gamblers, is being supported by practical experience in the federal courts. Several cases are now pending in those courts, wherein the accused is charged with fraudulently using the mails in the sale of mining stocks.” In one case it appears that a promoter sent through the mails claims of 7,000,000 tons of ore in a certain mine, whereas @ witness who was part owner of the property admitted that 1,000,000 tons would have been about correct.” For that exaggeration the government charges that pro- moter with violating those sections of the postal laws which deal with fraud. But, bless us! if a little exaggeration like that is to be classed as fraud, how are we to classify, for instance, that ex- aggeration which raised a $250,000,000 investment in the Car- Negie steel plants into a steel trust capitalization of $1,500,- 000,000? If the promoters in ome case are to be barred from the mails for exaggeration, is there any common-sense reason why| the promoters in the other case should not also be barred from} the mails? They stand alike and on all fours, as the lawyers some- times say, as a misrepresentation of assets. then. Certainly, a crisp snow pack would be pleasanter to walk upon than the slush that’s un- derfoot today. The artist has pictured more glowingly than I could possl- bly do the joys of the giacial period. If we could but live Until that time, we would see reduced the Ice trust penury, the to WHAT DID HE MEAN? ; Doctor Emdee—y therin- WOODROW _ sorrowfully| way to lift both the crust and}iaw's consition 16 rh ietme ide i i -| insi i Henpeck—Get, down to cases, consents to ride in that inaug insides of pie. eT eee at eee ural paracc, because, he thinks, ; = —_ hope for the worst? the ets Id be too crowd- es tien ew"! Best Short STORIES AFTER viewing New York from Ellis island, Castro said of the Day “The rural car rier on route 14 says th’ parcels he'd be glad to gét back to Eu-| post a May rope. What an insult to that| -An Asiatic ruler was in the Sever cocaivu 6 -up old Manhattan town! babit of exacting presents from a box of cut aia those who came to do him hom- Vacs 3 - ae Oo day @ man arrived e day is AS ONE of the means of |tfuging a basket of bananas, as likely ter get keeping young, ventilate your} Furious at the gift being one ja tub of sauer- of fruit only, the prince com- kraut th’ next.” mind, says Lillian Russell.| anded that the banal PP v4 Wonder if getting a brand|be thrust down the donor's \throat. As the latter was being ealaghaaie mew husband now and then) led away to have the sentence ex- isn’t mental ventilation! ecuted hé was seen to smile, and the prince bad him brought back and asked him why he smiled. “Nothing, "he re- plied; “ mother ts even now approaching, and ehe bringeth a basket of pineapples.” . To General “Dan” Sickles in his pathetic old age things are coming about as fast and hot as they did that historic July morning when he left a leg in the Peach Orchard YOU can’t get a woodchuck out by coaxing him or watch- ing his hole, but you can smoke him out. We guess that those sergeants-at-arms who can’t serve papers on Wil- A well known business man tells this experience. He says: | “I told my office boy one day that I would have to have the Ww LISTEN, MR, Nila lie Rockefeller never hunted morning to myself, and he must Kite SHOWN yc woodchucks. keep visitors out of my private FEATURES AND vasy imponvariy room. ‘I don't care what you tell {OF THIS PRomitine EATER PRiee! oe them,’ said I. ‘Make up any story You wine I GOLD production in 1912] you iike. Get fresh with them if ry CAN'T APPoRD 19 they are too persistent.’ An hour or two later, as I afterward learned, a said I. “Make up any story you like. Get fresh with them if they are too persistent.’ An hour or two laater, as I afterward learned, a lady called and insisted on seeing fell off $5,200,000 in the U. S. Ha! Now watch the cost of living take 2 tumble! WHILE asking for a mar- REASON THe tiage license at Milwaukee,jme- The boy assured her that {t ; couldn't be done. ‘But I must see Gero Radluchel fainted away.|him,’ she said. ‘im his wife.’ ‘Aw!'| Phere ought to be a law|Was Jimmy's reply. ‘That's what they all say!’ Of course my wife Grin st tender things like Otto| want away good and mad. Weil, % Milwaukee girls. |”, the kid didn’t lose bis joe. i terry ing Aeunes GF '*-loouldn't blame him. He was only Mesrying a Milwaukee girl |oboying orders,"-Nowark News tiles even the grize-fighters. CHICAGOAN has invented @ combination knife and fork. best of our A tracer has been sent out for the old-fashioned ball tosser who was satisfied with his salary Modistes are going to get ideas | for divas from the Mgyptian mum mies. it will be a bore for wom en to have to unwind every night see a Ko———— ce | KC Baking Powder is ranted ‘absolitely pure and wholesome. ere is no Rochelle salts, no harmful residue left in the food that is leavened with K C. ° Even the’ most delicate can eat jot breads raised with K C without distress, Try KC Baking Powder breads if yeast- taised bread does not agree with you, OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT TRUE TURN IT DOWN FoR Yue T me “YEARS PROM NOW WE ARI HENRY, Ou ANO DO AWAY with COAL Bis, gar for our alms. And, oh, the long, long evenings for wooing! And, 00, the olegant sessions == 8 NovHING, SERIOUS & MEAN OF HIM. OVE FoR AnoTHER Giacan | THE ICE TRIST WL BE @usTeo |! @o OUT AND kit, A WALRUS, WERE ) ovr Fuel AN EVENING WITH ouUR, LAoY Love WiLL LAST AT LEAST TWO MONTHS at poker we could have! In fancy you can hear—can you not?—the roar of tho BEST REMEDY. . The Liberalist — Well, what did] Tramp—Lady, I'm suffering from you think of my new musical comedy. Sour-Minded Critic—Great. Who designed the scenery and cow tumes? “Mike, I am going to make you & present of this pig.” “Ah, sure; an’ Us just like you, sor!” What Has ‘Become of. used to say to his intentions?” |man, what are your prospects?” ditto, “ she haf been accustomed?” The old-fashioned lover used to spread his handkerchi on the floor posed. to say, “This ts #0 sudden.” The ditto who used to be a sister to you.” The old fashioned man who daughter's beau, “Young maa, what are your The old-fashioned ditto, “Young The ditto who used to say to the Young man, can you support my daughter in the style to which who just before he pro- The old-fashioned girl who used indigestion. Lady of house—What can I do for yout Tramp — Give me something to digest. Done in the Making “Hollo! Is this the information “I want to ask you a question to settio a dispute. Does freezing Spotl a parsnip?” ; you can't spoll a parsnip. all? Good-by.” waited here since od when lef | him? “At G o'clock.”—Lustige Blaetter “I see a man 60 years old had the other day.” Suggestion to men: If the wind blows your hat off, do not bother to chase it. Let the spectators do it for you. A Lecture, by George. B. Y. George will give a lecture esbyterian church based on her last summer ‘2MINUTE VAUDEVILLE SLAP Are you to pro mote ti public health and swat the fl THUD: No, I'm going to pro mote the private health and not swat, That's what, SLAP: Why? Are you too sen- sitive? THUD: Not at all, It’s the other people who are too sensitive. Once I saw a fly on a man’s nose and swatted it, and just for that the man swatted me. SLAP: Was he angry because you had hurt the fly? THUD: That's just the trouble 1 hadn't hurt the fly. Hereafter I'm going to use fly poison. SLAP: I hope when you do you take Gnough of it to prove fatal. What do you suppose, attracts flies to a bald'’s man's head? THUD It's the reflection It sees another fly in the polished » and drops down to t@k to it. Did You know flied Spread dis- ease XP SLAP: No, @U 1 a@§ them do is light on the table and try to spread th® butter, THU You ought to live in a house with sereens, © SLAP 1 did tive tm a house with screens but the flics cam@ein anyhow THUD: Why was that? SLAP: Beeiuse the bars were too far ay THUD hen why didn't you leave the house? SLAP; Couldn't the bars were ~ Chicago | Moreland I have o'clock for my|land of California. husband to come; now it’s half at- were you to meet Vis first train ride down in Texas "That may account for his long STING UP WITH A SICK FRIEND Wil BE ASK MontwS Jom ° bunch when the cheapskate tries to quit a winner, though by the clock it's only January. [RESCUES HIS SISTER FROM BURNING HOME MOSCOW, Ida, Jan. 7.—Break- ing into per room while a fire, con- suming their home, was playing about ber, Mayrus Miller dragged his sister, Catherine, through a window, over the roof of a shed [piled deep with snow, and after! saving her, became partially un-| conscious from bis experience. Firemen later found them, and today the pair are recévering from severe burns and shock. Both are University of Idaho students, BAR “FRAT” DOGS FROM CLASS ROOMS MADISON, W dan. 7.—The University of Wisconsin, in a ver- @ict issued in the college daily, an- nounces that henceforth no dogs will be allowed in any classes of the university. The fraternity members have been in the habit of taking their mascots to classes, but in the chass- room, while deep subjects were un- der discussion, Hugo, the Delta Up- silon mascot, caused such a commo- Uon flea hunting that is was neces- sary to adjourn the class. BISHOP’S BROTHER LANDS IN JAIL CINCINNATI, Jan. 7.—"Booze did it. That is the whole story in three words.” This was the statement of James made tonight to Chief Pottebaum of the Central Police sta- tion following his arrest on the charge of stealing an overcoat. He is a brother of Bishop More Who'll Come Forward? ©. ©. Beard anght a couple of dogs at his sheep, dilled one and wounded the other. The one killed was black and .|the owner cam have the hide. Unity Reporter ‘Little Worries. Who'll do the milking when the cows are dry? West JURORS COULDN'T SPELL, $0 SLAYER MUST HANG. MEMPHIS, Tenn., Jan, 7.—Un- less the governor intervenes, Wiliam Fitzgerald must hang Aug. 15 for the murder of his wife in a hotel here. The jury recommended him to the mercy of the court but didn’t put in the words “mitigating circum- stances” because they didn't know how to spell “mitigating.” The law requires these words to make merey obligatory on the judge in passing sentence. So the judge said death, instead of life imprisonment Cagb in? Not much! The wife und kids are #afe at home, bi- bernating, Whose deals Some- body's shy. And they'll play until the morning light steal- ing, grayly into the windows wafhs them that it is April at the earliest THERE MIGHT BE DISCOMFORTS, TOO, There is, of course, a reverse side of the picture. While we do not relish hives and priekly beat, we may say with equal emphasis that we bave never enjoyed gooseflesh and chil blaine. It is as well that it is not left for us to choose, We should not know what to do. We would blow hot and cold, in a a. Y., Jan. 7a sirprise party is @ good thing in its way, but to mix one of them things up with a wedding is bum stuff the day a feler gets married he ought to be on the level, it mite be the last time he ever will tell the truth, and he should make a partickler effort to do it Theres a guy over in brook- lin probably thinks that way now, even if he dident ust to The guy is sam enitko, a tailor, and he has got a lot of trubbel sam he had a wife a while back, but she dide, and all sam ‘had tn the world to show for his married life was 10 chil dren well eam he dident see how in the dickens he was going to rear up them 10 children with- out no skirt around the house, and he begun lookin around for a number 2 theres always lots of dames to be found, as everybody knows, and ft wasent long be- foar sam got a nock down to a nice yung lady by the name of yetta mink miss mink she seamed to think sam was a fine little guy, and he shined up to her to beat the band He Thinks Mixing Surprise Parties and Weddings le Bad Business. oT a Aske manner of speaking. Howe | we do not expect to live 15,008 years. ‘ Meanwhile we veuture te make a prediction of our owm, It is that if the doctor lives 15,000 years, he will still by calling Peary a Mar And it Peary lives 15,009 years, b® will still be calling Cook @ lar. And nobody know for sure, or care much, whether Cook got there first, or P got there firm, or if both gop there, or if neither got there, For, when all's caid and there's nothing there when you get theré, and there's nothing to do when you get there bug to turn around and come back, ae = —— but all the time not tet her nuthing about thy 10 kidg, he was a regler deseaver, he Just let her think he was a olg batch and as he met up with hep at a danse or sumthing, and she dident know none of big old friends that knew him an@ the late wife, he got away with it so bimeby he ses wil y and she ses yes, and they got hooked up . . you got to hand it to the boob for his crust, he takes the poor skirt rite out to his house in the subarbs, and as soon ag they git in the frunt yard oug comes 6 of the kidds, all yelig © pa, o pa and the uther 4 that aing big enough to run‘out, a holerin inside the how a bawlin bluddy murder for their The new mrs. snitko she give 4 awful gasp, and she looked at sam, and be turned pail and she beat it by golly he aint ever bin able to find her sinse, and now he is suing for a divoree fle bet he cant git it too quic® )» to sult her my goodniss, 10 ready made ~ kids, can you blame her for the fast getaway Johny _SKYGACK HE TAKES WIRELESS OBSERVATIONS IN HIS NOTE BOOK ON EARTH aT 1<— WAS MUCH IMPRESSED WITH THOUGHTFUL CONDUCT OF FEMALE . 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Doan’s Kidney Pits far kidney trouble and am glad te sey that this medl- cine was just what my sys tem required. Before take ing this remedy, I had tried many others but had got no relief. I am now well, my kidneys are rtor- mal and I have no more pain or that tired feeling in my back.”