The Seattle Star Newspaper, August 24, 1912, Page 4

aa hal mou, $1 80 Rachavae The Marvels of the Season Wonders never cease, and THI ARE GREAT days. the boys of the press never let up on reporting them In the olden times the events whereof we read slightingly as we turn from the political headlines to a careful study of the baseball scores, would have been accepted as omens, portents, and-cridences of the displeasure of the gods. Policeman Thomas at Newcastle, Pa., the other day, heard &@ splash and a cry of anguish, and plunged into the Neshan nock tiver to resette a perishing maiden. When he had thrown his arms around the creature's neck, he found himself hugging a cow! Whether or not he saved her the dispatches do not gay. We moderns fail to see in this a case of a fair maiden turned+to a cow by magic. We are blase and weary of marvels Mr. Frve’s auto accident at Elkhart is also passed by with no thought of the anger of Jove against the drivers of the im pious cars which rival the chariots of Olympus The car was & big red seven-passenger thir and w charged by a bull, who tipped the thing ovary and necessitated garage charges to the amou f $78.43. And yet we deny the supernatural. Somewhere in Indiana a cow was fording a pond when a Big black bass took the floating bucktail lure of her tail, got his teeth entangled in the strands, and was larided by bossy with perfect success, It was all in the papers just before the convention. Fred Henry of Brooklyn, N. Y., was bitten by a pic and thinks he is threatened with He is having the pickerél’s head examined by the Past institute, instead of offering oblations to the gods. He never looks to $ec if the “sign” wad Pisces at the time. Think of the anguish of a fish with hydrophobia! The ner tines H adds a m touch to these field. A e sounded at the approach of the Bruce, and on fising shot up like a torpedo just alee of the vessel's bow Astonished whale d and turning, caught his tail in the rigging, spinning the ship around like a top, and Scaring the crew out of their respective seven senses And there may be many other marvels abroad. Moose was knocked stiff by an elephant in June the b. m. won a fierce return engagement in August Brethren of the press, these are stirring times. was neveran age which so abounded in marvels and liars. rabies. 1 erel, ir Ww Sruce, off southern California, moving accidents by flood and ve again, A bull Rallying, There Greatest Thing in the World thing in the world?” r, and he gravely answered that rtes all. “Art, for it com- “WHAT IS THE gre It was asked the scho! fearning is, for it comprehends all and pre It was asked the artist, and he cried $s matter and spirit, both at their best.” The preacher solemnly declared: “Rel: is light from heaven.” he lawyer argued: “Justice, for ‘it is the soul of peace and progress.” ve “Money,” said the banker. “It is the spring of all action, The young man, full of hope and spirit cried: “Ambition.” Out of his garnered wisdom the weary old toiler answered: “Content.” The pair of lovers, hand in hand, lisped together: “Love r because it The mother, with her baby at her breast, smile ri- The wild roysterer cried: “Pleasure.” The wan invalid whispered: “Health.” : To a shambling, grinning fool was put tHe question. He Simpered and said: “I don't know.” And which, after all, is really the wiser of them all—from THE STAR—SATURDAY, AUGUST 24, 1912. | Nothing Serious | ed VALUATION, WHAT SHE MISES 1 wish I could take as much Wayne—Dinkly tells me that ho! interest in baseball as my husband is worth $10,000. does.” Payne—Woll, I belleve he recent Why?” ly inherited that amount, but as a I should just lke to take It out matter of fact ho isn’t worth ten/on him every time the home team cents |Joses.” THE PROSPECT. PAPA NEEDS HELP } So you are fn the swim Mother and the girls think I am, bet my personal feelings are those of a man who has fallen overboard r you're engaged t t week, #0 I ing up your b chelor quar “Yes, and my benedict dollars.” {and ought to be hollering for help.” ee ee * « * WHAT HE THOUGHT * * The Teacher—Why, Jimmy, Jimmy! Have you forgot your #® # pencils again? What would you think of a soldier going to war # # without a gun? * * Jimmy—I'd think he was an officer —Doston Record. * * * RRR RATA aa A WEDDING ASSIGNMENT THAT FAILED The city editor decided to let the new reporter try his hand at o ‘oll wedding that was scheduled at one of the homes in the faabjon- able distri “There's nothing in this wedding story,” er an hour later “What's the matter? “The bride's eloped with another fellow, telephoned the new report shouted the city editor, sald the new reporter, the scholar to the fool? THE OLD standpat Harper's Weekly calmly informs the democrats that Taft is not the man they have to beat this fall. THE SIGNING of the lease for the Harbor Island ter- Minals has at least accomplishedthe terminal of the terminal debate. EVEN Col. Roosevelt would have a hard job convincing} the American people that he needed $3,000,000 to defeat Alton} B, Parker WHILE Landon, Walker and McLean are fighting it out fn the progressive primaries, poor old Humphrey has nothing to fight but silence and public indifference iilte THE STANDPATTERS say they will bar the progressives from the standpat primary. That’s downright cruelty. Maybe} some progressive would like to vote for Hay and Humphrey. ROOSEVELT continues to be able to coin new phrases or revamp old ones so that they get about as popular currency as the latest ragtime. A few days ago he spoke about the modern battle of Armageddin. Armageddon, in the Bible, is the place where the final battle between the forces of good and evil is to be fought. == — IN THE EDITOR’S MAIL seems: EE Editor Star: In his efforts to ex tricate his friend Penrose and in fure his enemy Roosevelt, J. D. Archbold madeh sorry witness yes terday before the senate commitiee His memory was not good; his re eeipts were lost and his witnesses were dead. If he is to be believed his claim at most was that after looking the thing over inside and ont in 04, his conclusion was that a the republican party would be the best friend to the Standard Oil Co. ‘and that he bargained with the tional treasurer of that party, pay. ing him $100,000 for future favors, And further, that he made an effort fo have Treasurer Bliss make the president a party to the contract. The people of this country will be slow to believe the testimony of a man who brazenly makes such an admisaton, J. R. JUSTIC: STRAUSS DOESN'T LIKE AMERICA Richard Strauss once visited America before he achieved world fame, and the critics of New York were very hard on him. In fact, they were so hard on him that Dr, Strauss has not yet either forgotten or forgiven them. The wound is still raw. At one of Strauss’ rehearsals in the Munich a new symphony, very Deautiful, but very bizarre, was being played, In the middie of it the composer rapped his desk impatiently and called to the double bassonn: “Why don’t you play the F sharp that is marked?” The bassoon, a bull-headed sort of a fellow, answered: “Because {t would sound wrong, that is why.” Strauss gave a harsh laugh and shouted: “Himmel! Are you a New York critic In disguise?’—Loulsville ‘Times, HARD TO REPLACE In the soft firelight, even the boarding house sitting room looked cozy and attractive, The warmth and comfort thawed thé heart of the star boarder In av expansive moment he turned to the landlady, who was hia only companion in the room. Clasping her hand fondly, he murmured: “Will you be my wife?” The woman did not start or blush; no maidenly coyness shone from her dear, cold eyes, as she replied thoughtfully: “Let me. see. You have been here four years. You have never onee grumbled at the food, or failed to pay my bill promptly and with- out question. No, sir; I'm sorry, but I cannot marry you. You're too f00d a boarder to be put on the free list.”-—-McCall’e Magazine. COLD-BLOODED SOCIETY “Goeh, this New York society is cold-blooded,” declared the man broken in from the West. low now?" “An overnight visitor at my house fe¥ over a chair and barked his who gustedly, ed * * * OH, THAT ACCENT! * * “How do you know she is an American?” * * “I heard her talking French.” * * * ee ee be NOT FOR BEVERLY Intimate Friend—You're doing your own cooking now, are you, Beryi? Beverly—er—takes his Young Bride—Yos; exe meals at a restaurant —Chic: naively my own, 0 Tribune. Miss Dilipickles Holsts the Biack Flag and Will Board City People in the Country—But Some Guests Are Pirates Themsectves, BY FRED SCHAEFER Mactor eis > The two swell Fi artles: 1, knew the boulevards well There's a gleam of hope for Idyl-| | “Sure, he does!” answered M. de wild. Business, which had fallen | oie eee ee used to drive: #0 flat on account of the stage rob-! night hack ther ch guys said they were sociologists studying the summer amuse ments of these America. and registered as M. Gibler de Po. wink at us. “You nearly ran over tence and M. Hors de Lalol, of me one night.” |Paris, 1 gu they are from) At which de Potence snapped, France, Th two swell French | “Yes, and I would have got you, guys said they were sociologists studying the artless summer amuse- ments of these America. They seem to think highway robbery is one of the artless summer amusements, for they weren't guests of our little hotel ten minutes before they w: too, it you hadn't shovel!” These Parisian bon us all laugh, : “What do think dropped your mots made you of them, kitehen peeling the potatoes for listening sagerly to the talk of the/next morning's breakfast hey other guests about their experience | say they are members of the French with the road agents, and taking! academy, fevorish notes of the details in little| “Huh!” sniffed ma, “they Hated red morocco notebooks. to me like members of the school Thoy both wear black billygoat| of reform.” § whiskers and speak with a queer|r Ma is suspicious of ever¥body shin. I hear now he has consulted a lawyer as to the liabilit y of & host for accident to a guest,”—Loutsville Courier-Journal, accent, but some things they say|since the stage was held up, But sound a good deal like curbatone|I think the two gents aro just vaudeville, Wor instance, one of | lovely, the boarders asked Gibler if ho (Continued, he used to drive a} bery, has begun to pick itself up.) “Oh, I did, eh?” sald de Potence Two strangers blew In with sole! with a sour look, leather grips all label-decorated, “You bet,” sald de Lalol, with a} maw?" I sald while we were in the! Kitty—Gracious, dear! And were you very nervous when you guided your first automobile? | Dalay~f sbould say fo, 1 ran over a white rabbit and thought it wan & cow, AN ENCOURAGING SIGN. a ay A wr a OP ~ fae oer | “Our baby squalls all night long.” | “Don't be discouraged, He may grow up and help nominate a presi dent some day.” “it’s highly unfor’nate, but there lwon't be any awards for seed corn at tt’ Besleysport fair, Through [some error, the biame fer which lain’t fixed yet, th’ poultry exhibit wuz held in th’ same identickle bulidin’.” | OF COURSE The Lawyer—Well, was Slawpor jout or in? The Collector—Roth. The Lawyer—Why, what do you mean? The Collector—He wasn't home and I didn’t get any money, conse quently he waa in, » i ie iat cS A lide dining Householder—I give you my word, three seventy-five ts all T have in the house. Burglar— Well, say! When ye figure me time an’ me tools, how d'ye expect mo to make any profit at that rate?—Life. eeeeeeee eeeeeeeee REE ALL HIS LIFE Were'nt you begging yesterday as a lame man?” “Quite impossible! 1 have fol- lowed my profession for more than twelve years as one . blind from birth," —Dorfarbler IN THE WAY Green—Why was the aside? Brown—It kept getting in the way of the lawyers who were set tling the estate.—Judgo's Library will set plied Willie, 200 eee ee ee es REAL MISERY Who can conceive a more |wrethed person than a woman with |@ Secret and no one to tell it to?— Puck, MEAN ‘The red-haired girl was being teased about the or of her hair. ‘My hair is not red,’ she said, in dignantly; “it is burnished gold.” | Really!” said her best friend “What ,carat?"—London Opinion PREACHING AND POLITICS “What did the preacher preach about Sunday?” “Thou shalt not steal.” s | “I'm getting tired of that kind of h |talk, What busine a preacher mixing — In politics?" —Louisville | Courier-Journal, aeeneienn, jnie is new in the Circle, joining tok to tt tk kk ee lone Week ago, She sald, “I read * * |The Sta night, especially * WHAT HE WAS IN FOR #|Saturd s 13 years old and * While mama was preparing #/is in rade. Her ad * to entertain some guests A &/ dress is ta at ® recent convention, * 4 * Willie was especially annoy- * |* ing. Finally he was put to * | bed, and was thera when the HONOR: ROLL |* guests arrived. “Well, my lit. & ® tle man, are you in for your ® 6 | little nap?” asked one of the * Shimer qieereaee: * men, “No, in for sassin',” re & sone Doge ta * * ® * * Upon applic a membership ceruficate in t ar Circle Club will mailed to any boy or girl under 1 n of age, Send for a card today, Addresp Ux Jack, in care of The Star Bend your photo to the Cirele. if} ady sent one and have one taken since, send it. If any boy or girl sending a photo desires lit returned state #o on the back of| lit. Also give age, school grade and} | address | There are over con-| tained on the Circle membership! you have alr 1,000 name: roll. And the number tw increasing rapidly 1 your friends about} the Circle | Th is one girl in the Circle aa had roll eight consecutive times in the! two Why don't you fname on the honor | | | past months do the same’ Prizes won by boys and girls Hv-| jing in Seattle are held at The Star office aiting for th winners to] call. All prizes are mailed to out-| of4own Circleites. The Star pays| jthe postage Good poetry and short stories written by Circleltes will be printed in the Circle | Any questions about the Circle 1] | will gladly answer, I enjoy read-| Jing letters from my many nieces jand nephews. EYES SHINING IN RIGHT HAND CORNER Dear Uncle Jack to be your neice and I would like very much to have one of your membership carda. 1 go to the South Seattle school, are old and am in the B grad. Saturday my eyes are « in the right hand corner of four of The Star, the only| r I've ever taken any interest | nd to my notion it all on ac o~ The star i Circle Verbrugge, 4303 Maynard LYMAN GIRL JOINS Dear Uncle Jack—1 would like member of your charm- 1am 11 years old and 1 am applying nd a Cireleite, count A | to th grade, We take The ar ke it very well, I like the Circle tier than any part of The Star.—Elsie Kuhns, Lyman, Wash THEY HAVE JOINED The following girls and boys have applied for Circle membership cer-| tificates. The certificates have | deen sent them. Write Uncle Jack} at The Star for a membership card. Lillian Verbrugge, 4303 Maynard Ave. Esther Solibaake, Seabold, Wash, Venna Farnham, Snohomish, Waser ie Kubns, Lyman, Wash. Theima iverson, Hamilton, Wash. HEARD LOTS ABOUT IT Dear Uncle Jack—I have heard much about the Circle Club and am writing you for a membership | card. I enjoy the Cirele very much. I am 11 years old.—Venna Farn- ham, Snohomish, Wash, WHY “ESPECIALLY SATURDAY?” (x2 NANNIE LINDBERG. Tho pretty miss in the picture is |Miss Nannie Lindberg, a South Se- attle girl who happens to be a m ber of the Circle Club. Miss } Chester Teagarden. Katherine Hafner. Gladys Neill. Edwin Malimert, Mona Heywood. Kathleen Heywood. Louise Neff William O'Toole. Marie Fenn, Gladys Nolan. David Smith. Albert MoPherson. Horace Smith. Dorothy Sullivan. Margaret Langley. Bessie Langley. LIKES CIRCLE VERY MUCH Dear Uncle Jack--Please enroll me a8 a member of the Star Cirele Club. 1 like it very much and would like a m bership card, I am 11 years old and am in the sixth grade at school.-Nsther Solibakke, Seabold, Kitsap Co,, Wash, .| written neatly, %, “THE KANGAROO Salo: (LET US TALK POR HOME 15 QuITE A LENGTHY SuPrPost you rest yours A Bl @troRre YOU START IN SEARCH OF IT” WALK tle T, 12 AND WHEN FOR HOME “TWASTIME TO START, THE KANGAROO DISPLAYED HIS AAT « FoR BUMPS, FOR BOYS ARE HARD HE KN So, THOUGHTFULLY, HE SIMPLY FLEW. Come on, boys and girls, join the Star Circle Club, You don't know what fun you are losing; The contests that Uncle Jack gives us each week Are both interesting and amus- ing. Unele Jack is our leader, generous and good; He bolds the gold key in his band That admits boys and girls to the pleasure and fune In the best children's club in the land. The news of our Circle ts printed} x each week, — don't have to hunt very lar; Just look and you'll find it each Saturday night At the top of page fOur in The Star. Mow Rastus wouco wave une BuT ONLY GULPED AND SA AND, SEEING HIM both | 11 4 i TO CRY 0 “AU Ri? SO FINE ANDO BRAVE THE KANGAROO HIS PRANK er FORGAVE, ri Ri i felts, FREDERICK Wuire tw | The nieces and nephews that Uncle | Jack has | In the city and out of town, too, Far surpass, as to number, the chil j dren well known, } Of the woman that It é |Bat, as Uncle Jack says, there is | room for lots more, So write him a letter today, | And ask for a membership card to the club. Now hurry, and do not delay, And you'll never regret that you joined it at once; ‘This wideawake, sunshiny band. As I said once before, I'll repeat it again, | It's the best children’s club in the land. BESSIE DAY. | 57 First Ave. N. W., Seattle THE ANIMATED COIN Piace a coin on the tablecloth between two forks, with a glass over all, resting on the forks. By scratching the cloth just outside t glass you can make the coin move toward you by successive moves, and finally get it outside entirely. Everygody Has Good Chance in This This Contest a Cinch for Some Circieite—Anything Will Do— Clreleites will choose their own subjects to write on In the next con- test. Any contribution, drawing, poetry, short story or pho- tograph, will be acceptable in the contest. With suhe a contest, every boy and girl In the Circle should be able to compete in it. Drawing contests and poetry contests al. ways brought an abundance of let ters to the Circle. With the two combined with others, The Star mail box ought to be clogged all next week The prize offered in this contest ‘s @ pound box of delicious choco. lates, All letters must be in The Star office by not later than 3 o'clock next Friday afternoon. If a drawing is sent, be Sure that it ts on drawing paper and in jet black ink. Poems and stories must be Photographs must be clear and of a good ¥ ; IT'S COMING Keep your eyes on the Circle. something big is coming. If you don’t want to overlook a big bet mph = the big doings slip by un noticed SUCCE Graduates are All Placed Third Floor Liberty Bidg. 1 CON 1 whether a! Individual Instruction Given by Experts in the System of That Is Written by the Best Stenographers Main 3337. TAMALES ' CARNE, 6 Ay | j Temptation was placed it path of the boys of Flushing, ke and they fell. The swat-the-fly campaign has resulted in flies by the swarming to Flushing to ted. Never in the history of town have files been such/® = There are buzzing flies, biting green flies and black fites, and |more they are swatted the more they come. The Housewtves’ League offered prizes to the youngsters: whe | swatted the most fites, The prises | were baseball outfits, and the temp tation proved too Some youths got tainted meat Others used molasses. Thus breeding establishments wer ed. Traps were set above thes breeding places. The result: |flies by the bucketful delivered @ the Housewives’ League, STAR CIRCLE BEST Dear Uncle Jack—T Regi: ered any of the con long time, as I had my school work to do, but now I am going to i and earn some prizes, have been in other circles and clubs but The Star Cirele ts ti best one I know of. I think answering riddles - good contest —Mary Womaeh, Station. ND SC lumbia HOO. Our Everywhere. in Good Paying Positions. Opposite Post » be 1hato N Senttle-Vancouver via Victoria ming Direct) Daly: . 9:00 a. m. Arrive Victorta’: 1:15 p.m. Leave Victoria . 2:45 p.m Arrive Vane 7:15 p.m. m. Arrive Seattle m + SAILING City Office,” 713 Second Avenue. Canadian Pacific Railway STEAMSHIPS ON “TRIANGLE” SERVICE 2