The Seattle Star Newspaper, August 17, 1912, Page 4

THE SEATTLE S rf ine! Private Maxchange Mato TAR we RIPPS NORTHWHst LHAGUR OF NEWAPATE ile “paver having fall leased wire mews service of the United ations, Batored at Seattle, Wash, postortice na sad luea jnatter: aut oF ally, Thos ax mow “Phones “It matters not how straight the gate, How charged with punishment the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."—Henley. ENTIRELY amusing is the plaint of the standpat papers now against the wholesale withdrawals of pro- Portland is raising the very dickens because some of the “authorities” there have decided that a hen house in the city is & nuisance, but a garage is a lovely place. The Daily News, ing, remarkes: c “Probably the health officials want us plain folks to drink & quart of gasoline for breakfast, take a fried spark plug with h dice of rubber tire for lunch, and end our happy days with a inner of boiled motor oil and a well-broiled monkey wrench. But as for us, we'll take the hen.” The hen probably would be more appetizing The 95 per pent of Seattle folks are right with Portland on the hen propo- i e Chicken yards are more productive of wealth than garages. A chicken in the hand is worth two automobiles in the bush to Mr. Average Man. : So here's to the henyard, in city or out, to its cackling and It's crowing, and to its products of “soft and hard boiled”! WITH Roosevelt drawing 30,000 more votes in the state of Washington than Taft, what hope will a ive, a near-progressive or a standpatter have| of election if he stays on the Taft-Hay-Humphrey ticket? Mrs. Grace and “Common Sense” “The law is the perfection of reason.” Thus saith Sir William Blackstone, the patron saint of all lawyers and judges. Any judicial worshipper of the letter of the law and the ctity of courts will tell you that the law is the sublimation the common sense of the ages. As a matter of fact the law is full of the most abysmal nonsense in the world. Take the Grace case in Atlanta for instance. The wounded husband, who knew all about the facts, Jay in the court room for days while the court was taking testi- mony as to whether or not the woman shot the man But he was legally dumb. He who knew all about it was fot permitted to tell the simple facts as he maintained they existed. This farce took place because under the law of Geor- gia the old«practice survives, as it does in other states, that in view of the fact that husband and wife are “one flesh” they cannot testify against one another! And now we learn that the prosecuting attorney knew all the time that the shot was fired outside the hours covered by the woman’s alibi, and that his knowledge is based on the fact that he heard the shot. But judges and prominent precedent worshipers at the bar advised him that in view of the fact that was prosecutor it would not be “ethical” for him to tell the ry the plain facts he was sworn to prove if he could! It is well for the ancient glories of the law that schoolboys and people of feeble mind are kept from practicing law and Sitting on the bench. It requires a long apprenticeship in “the fection of modern sense” to wean a normal mind from some fin glimmerings ofjthat imperfect common sense which guides us in the ordifiary affairs of life. It is not without fitness that the justice of these days is shown as a blind goddess. She should be sculptured tying on the hoodwink with her own hands! ay WE MOVE that Humphrey’s nomination on the t ticket be made unanimous. Motion cgrried. Now, what will you do with it, Mr. Humphrey? Observations - governor, and with only Humphrey and Rice for con- gressman, the standpat primary will certainly be one exciting affair—nit. PITY the job of Chairman Hilles of the republican national fommittee. He not only has to superintend the political fu- neral of Bill Taft, but must also kid himself into believing that he’s having a good time doing it. ABOUT 4,000 citizens have emphatically declared, by Bigning cards sent out, that they are tired of walking anywhere from one block to two miles to catch a car to work every morn- ing. They're going to insist on car service—and get it. STATEMENT by state officials that 30,000 more farmers @re needed in Washington to feed the people already here ought to cause some of the struggling urban folks to break for the woods. CALIFORNIA prognosticator says that sun spots are re- sponsible for this dampish brand of weather. Mother Earth may be trying to wash the sun's face. SEATTLE woman thinks she buys peaches, but is given paper wads. Some slick dealer thought that was a “peach” of @ thing to do, but the inspector of weights and measures may hand him an official lemon. SIDE WHISKERS are coming into style for men, say Eastern fashion experts. Let’s stay “out of style” for a while. LITTLE CHIEF LA FOLLETTE evidently won't play fn anybody's backyard. He's roasting Roosevelt, Wilson and Taft. AUTOMOBILE accidents are coming along hera at about ¢ rate of one a day. Seattle has succeeded in establishing a sane” Fourth of July, but she’s got a tall and urgent job in training a sane bunch of automobile drivers. WITH surgeons transplanting the eyes of the deceased in- to the head of the living, there is a chance that some of us may “see ourselves as others se¢ us.” THE first socialist church in the United States is to be opened at Portland, Me. ‘ TO WITHDRAW or not to withdraw—that is the ques- tion for “skim milkers.” Real progressives are not hesitating. POOR “Josh” Billings. He came into the race for govern- or to get second-choice votes. And now “Josh” finds that putty Gov. Hay and he are the only ones left in the standpat arty, and there won't be any «second-choice votes, and few irst choice. “THE heart aye’s the part that makes us right or wrong.” Burns. THE FISHING CRAZE. “I notice that your garden| doown't look very promising this it he found worms, | winded him ot| to digging and they always his fishing tackl WITH no one but Hay and Billings contesting for |»°* | Well, | HANDICAP. “So you're busted again! there's a sucker born every min-| ute.” | “Yes, and take it from me, old chap, there’s a shark born every second.” i “Th’ Beeleysport hotels are al ready fill’ up for fair week, an’ sev- eral more con men and three-card sharps are expected to be in town before th’ doors open.” Mos RP A Poetical Feat. “That writer ts a paradoxical bi “In what way?” 1 called to see him one day and found that his idyl moments -were keeping bim busy.” The Prospects. Church——-Do you expect to settle anything on your daughter? Gotham—Well, if she marries that saphead she's going with it looks as if she would settle some thing on me.” RAK KKhh « Siap at Medical Prof jon, “Do you belle the pory that doctors have a right to kill when they cannot cure?” Haven't they always been doing it?"—-Baltimore Ameri- eeteeeee can, RR HHRKE eeeeeeee Unbreakable. There is at least one thing in England that the suffragettes can- not hope to wreck, We refer to the well known British self-complac- ency —Chicago Ocean, Hypnotized. “A lady book agent sold Benson 20 volumes of a work that he never expects to read.” “My! My! What did she have?” “Blue eyes and Billie Burke features.” © dial: fallre t linah an ta * * The Explanation. * * “Why that acquaintance *® * of yours so fond of the song *® * of ‘The Old Oaken Bucket?!” *® * “Business associations, He # * is a milkman.” * * * , 2 eee eed No Wonder. He planned the groat would do All in the by and by; But not a single dream came true— He wouldn't work, that’s why. things he Useful Goose Club. Through the agency of a goose club in Sonth London 60,000 people are provided with a substantial Christmas dinner every year, AUTO TURNS TURTLE THREE KILLED WHITH HOUSB, N. J., Aug. 17 —E. D. Burling and wife and chauffeur John Gilroy were killed and two others were vory seriously injured near Gray Hook today when {he automobile in which they were riding turned turtle. } Nothing Serious No; every time my husband got|- ‘ging da te A POOR SPECIMEN. “Hear Dobbs over there brag: ging about his wife.” What's he saying?” “He’ Hing Marks that all he ie he owes to her.” “Humph! Do you call that brag nee” QUITE RIGHT, “What a brilliant marriage! He fs worth several millions. and she will Inberit at least a billion, “Would you call that a marriage, or a merger?” AN AVIATRESS. WORK ENOUGH, Jack—Do you think Tom loves “What did you ralse on your place | her? si Fred—He ground she flies over, this summer?” worships the very ‘Only the mortgage.” ee ee ed are a a a oY . EAGILY IbenTirien. After the tennis mateh, tha ladies’ team returned in triumph fn a char-e-bdane. ' Perhaps it was thelr shrifl delight at their success that frightened the horse, but, anyway, he bolted on Aftvor a thrill fow minutes the vehicle dashed into the bank at the roadside, and sent all tts occupants gy 3 tn a heap, What a scene it was! No one wae hurt, but there was a perfect sea of waving arms, féet and heads, And out of the very midst came a squeal: “Heip, oh, help! Save me, shoen and stockings!” RRR Aaah “somebody! Mine are the green Seeteeteeeeteeee SERRE S EE EEE EE EE THE ONLY WAY OUT. ‘The umpire scouts overlooked this indicator man, The following is @ sample of bis work; The Atlanta Deppens and the Birmingham Gold Dusts, negro base- ball teams, were playing a strenuous game in Atlanta. In one inning the Gold Dests had the bases full with so one out. An ebony hued a stepped to the plate, The pitcher sent the sphere to the catcher. “One balll” called the negro umpire. Again the pitcher got busy. “Two balls!” called the umpire. After the third ball pitched the man with the indicator shouted: “Three balls!” Once more the sphere went across the plate. “Po' balls; yo’ out!” shouted the umpire, The batter was highly indignant. “What?” he yelled. “Me out? Whar yo’ git dat, niggah?” “Now, look a-heah, man,” sald the umpire, “yo’ ta out. Dey ain't no room fo’ yo’ on de bases."-—Philadelphia Public Ledger, THE BUSY LIFE. “Oh, it's you, is it?” marmurs the wife, meeting her husband at the reception “You. Glad to see you,” he smiles, across you here. “Ien't It nice? Oh, there was something I wanted to ask you about—I thought of ft just after I saw you at the theatre the Inst time,” she says. “It was something important, too. But it has en- tirely slipped my mind.” “Well, nvaybe you'll think of it by the next time wo meet. I sup- pose you'll be at the horse show. Perhaps by then it will have oc curred to you again.”"—Judge’s Library. WANTED RELIEF. In one of the West Philadelphia hospitals a woman patient in the ward was groaning with pain. At last she called to the nurse: “Oh, nurse, I am euffering so much; I can’t stand it. Won't you please give me an epidemic?” “Had half an idea Td ran MAKE ’'EM RETIRE EARLY. Zeke—If I was mayor do you know the first thing I'd do? Luke-—What? Zeke—Pass a curfew law for them pesky mosquitoes. WRONG KIND OF MAN. More women would probably marry for money or 4@ title if it wasn't for the kind of mon that usually go along. A BAD SPILL “Here's a young woman that wha left half a million dollars merely Hing @ little sunshine into an old man's life.” “Her experience is more fortanate than mine. I once spilled a cup of coffee into an old man’s lap and he cut me out of his will altogether.” for GAVE HIM A CHANCE. Humortst--On the “Weekly Buzz” they had a fine system to show oft my jokes. ; Editor—How did they do it?! Humorist—Printed the points In red ink. OUT OF THE ORDINARY. Hewitt—Have you seen the hew freak on exhibition? No; what's his specialty? Hewitt—He has no theory as to the reduction of the living. cost of = es anger fles beside th neath § at = SB Ber KKK RKKKKEKKHHERKRERERRRER IN AN AIRSHIP, Birdman (8,000 feet up)—-1 used to be a tight rope performer, Friend, (terrified)—D-didn't you like the work? Birdman (balancing on one wing)—No; I was always afraid of falling and hurting myself, eeeeeeee Seeeeeeee ae POETRY CONTEST FOR CIRCLE CHILDREN Excitement Promised—Candy the Prize Do you want to win a pound box of delicious chocolates? It #0, fast read about next week's con nd your chance at copping the box of sweets is good The next contest for the Circle ts a FP ry Contest.” From the numerous poems received from Cir. cleites at various times, Uncle Jack is thoroughly convinced that the Cirole contains many genius poets on its long membership roll, There are #6 many good poetw among the Cirele children that it is a sure thing that there will be an abund. ance of competition. Tho poetry must be about the Circle. The best poem about the Circle recetves the prize offered. Letters must be fn at The Star office by not later than 4 o'clock Friday afternoon Hurry up with your letters, Re momber, it's the early bird that gets the worm. ELEVEN WANT CARDS Kleven boys and girls wrote to Uncle Jack for membership cer tiftentes in the Circle Club. The cards have been mailed them. If you haven't a card be sure and send RASTUS MILAN’ SAKES” HE SAID, "wy 010 0 Cum? fwisn 0 wuz is ALL SAFE TER HUMS AND WH Oe for one. Tell your friends about the Cirele, Write for a certificate — today. q Minnie Frewaldt, Startup. ) Mt. Vernon. QT WAS A SIMPLE THING (Jt TURNED AROUND BUT Ruth Tjosdal, Olatia. Molly Esfeid. Vesper Hall, 7224 17th av, Mabel Stuart, Houghton. Nannie Lindberg, 601 Henrietta, isabelie Burr, 10225, 57th 6. . . HERE’S A HARD ONE It takes a steady hand and some patience to do this, but It can be done. Take five straws ang a coin, say a nickel, and arrange them as shown in the picture, and you ean lift the whole ontfit by one straw. The strocture is held to- gether by the tension caused by the crossing of the straws. ALWAYS READS IT Dear Uncle Jack-—I am 10 years old and in the sixth grade We take The Star every evening and like it very much. I read about the Cirele and look for it every Satur- I would lke to have ip card, BEATRICE CLARK. Lyman, Wash. If Jack Johnson should happen to peek at the above photograph he would probably make a hurried trip to the tall and uncut. It is enough to arouse the yellow streak of any \pugilist. In sending this photo to the Cirele the contributor did not ee state whether or not he and bis LIKES STAR FINE brothér were “hopes.” He did not ask $30,000, win or lose, or draw Dear Uncle Jack—I would like to/on the moving picture rights. He become a member of your Star Cir-|simply sent the photo to win the cle. I am 14 years old. I like the! prize in the photo contest. And it Star just fine. I watch for the Star|won. The picture waa sent by Circle every Saturday night. Ask- anotes KANGAROO Vo MasTuS,ON HIS BUMPING STEED, THE ROAD SEEMED VERY ROUG INDEED. THE KANGAROO WAS WILLING TO = FOUND, THAT HE WAS NOWHERE NEAR THE GROUND. EN HE SAT ASTRIDE THE TAL, WOULD HAVE IF HE COUL Da: TURNED PALL 4 ANO THEN HE BEGGEOS “PLEASE LET ME DOW, (BR ANY WAY, JES! T AROUN! TO 00» Rastus; not they intend to game it will do good. They show it, boy in the pl He will start to ber. William is 8 years olf im the third grade. now in the Circle, ha a membership gard ter. Their sister also membership card. Her | printed elsewhere in The They live at Lyman, Wash, Come, Rollo, produce {ng you to send me a membership card, PEARL BERG. Mt. Vernon, Wash. YOUR NAME IN THIS? The following boys and girls sent in photographs to the photo con- test which are worthy of honorable mention: . Bernice Phillips. Vera Wi Molly E Mabe! Stuart. Nannie Lindberg. Lenore Schoenheit WANTS TO JOIN Dear “Uncle Jack—1 ‘would like to join your Circle. I am 10 years old and in the fifth grade. I have d two sisters. My th ave. 8. ISABELLE BURR, three brothers a address is 102 FRR IT ITO IR ne cr onaly partisan.” ber.” * 2 EES Analyzing the selection of the Fm ONAL WON UTrawing {Washington delegates to the Cht- Everett: y cont pent wok was won by #{css°. convention, — Warburton Interurban 0 nveret! |charged that the Roosevelt dele ie ah ne % Donald McPherson, an Everett *| ates to the Washington state con-| °SATTLE TO BY ERE . * member of the Circle, The * rains 10:80 a me OA -§ prize has been sent to him, = 500 WHALES “tie rains—4:8 vm ts i 80, 3:30, 4:80, 6: we FORO TOOT toto tok 8:30, 9:45, 11:48 p. m, dally, —__—__——. VANCOUVER, B. C., Aug. 17.—| {rain Saturday and NAT GOODWIN IS RECOVERING SANTA MONICA, Cal, Aug. 17. ~—Nat Goodwin, actor and multi- matrimonialist, who was severely injured when he was caught be- neath a capsizing skiff, is much im- proved today and will be able to leave his bed within a week, ac- cording to his physicians, Good, win suffered severe Wdominal bruises and his hip was twisted. Reports of severe internal injuries are said to have been unfounded, DAWSON, Y. T., Aug. 17.—The steamer Pauline has arrived from Rampart House, where she deliv- ered a cargo of general merchan- dise taken from this port. Six members of the boundary survey arrived on the boat. Mr. Seely, member of the party, says: . “The running of the boundary line has been completed through to the Arctic, and the men now are engaged in monumenting and other finishing work.” GREAT VANCOUVER RECORD VANCOUVER, B. C., Aug. 17. According to the official report of tho street cleaning department, is- sued yesterday, 48.4 per cenwof the men employed in sweeping Van- couver’s streets are property own- ers, William Clark, 8, direct from the|“hopes.” I'm afraid they training camp. It shows William! survive if they mixed with thee and his brother sparring in their | boys. * WARBURTON HANDS OUT HOT ROAST TO TAFT LEADERS (By United Press Leased Wire: vention were denied of of WASHINGTON, Aug, 17.—Red-| mission and were ‘from hot denunciation of Representa-|the hail. Warburton ridiculed Bay tives Bartholdt, of Missouri, and|tholdt’s statement that he bed & |Mondell, of Wyoming, for their/*front seat” in the Speeches defending the republican! mittee and listened to all the om national convention for renominat testa. ing President Taft was voiced in the About 30 or 35 men sat in those jhouse today by Representative! front seats,” said W. “but | Warburton, of Washington, lthey only heard such ‘Those speeches,” Warburton de-| dey desired to hear. They clared, “show how utterly unfitted/ the front seats and and unqualified both these gentle-|hctened and listened, but men were to act as judges in the|end they remembered only contest at Chicago between Presi-|the bosses wanted them to dent Taft and Col. Roosevelt., Both % Eece p. m. Five hundred whales thus far in the season, 13 of them sperm whales, |'s the wonderful record made in | British Columbia waters since the beginning of the season, according} Offices to Captain Shadforth of the steam- 3 er , tender for the Canadian eit Northern Pacific Fihseries Co., which maintains a number of whal- ing stations along the coast of Brit- ish Columbia, > Freight tral es freight Massachusetts St. at 6 Dom PACIFIC-NORTHW: COMPANY. verett-Snohomish Interurban Indic MUNICIPAL OWNERSHIP SAN DINGO, Aug. 17.—By a vote of 6,955 to 1404 San Diego is on record today for municipal owner: ship of its water supply. At the bond election yesterday the propo- [ TO SNOHOMIS sition to issue $2,500,000 bonds for oe Oe eae 1 the purchase of a part of the South- t Mi : ern California mountain water sys- TO EVE tem, owned by John D, Spreckels, 0 oem was carried by a vote of 5 to 1 Hotel Milwaukee A New Motel, © entratty Located 0 Worth of High Class Furniture og uma ie Everyubing complete—A spondence room Bteam Heat Hot and Cold Over # ape RATES Kingle Rooms, per week Room and Bath, per week. Inspect this hotel — beautiful lobby and corre * CORNER SEVENTH “AND KING STREETS ,,, 610,000 Dining Room tn Connection. @ Phones: Ind 907h1