The Seattle Star Newspaper, August 7, 1912, Page 4

THE STAR—WEDNESDAY, AUGUST THE SEATTLE S iC OF THR SCRIPPS NORTHY “fell TAR NWWSPADINS AND EVEN NOW MARIA AND HER SEVEN ‘ CHILDREN DON’T KNOW THEY MUST RETURK Do You Remember? Your First Shave and How Hard It Was to Tell the Barber What You Wanted? Every thought which genius and piety throw into the world alters the world. EMERSON. No Third Party Needed Progressives who will meet in Tacoma tonight have a most vital proposition to settle, These men are repre enta- tives of the people of the progressive faith in this state. They were elected as delegates to the Roosevelt Aberdeen conven- tion. They have been called together again in this convention tonight to determine whether or not a third party ticket is necessary in this state; that is, to determine WHE THER OR NOT A THIRD PARTY TICKET WILL MAKE IT E/ TER FOR THE PEOPLE TO REGAIN CONTROL O THE STATE. The Star, together with the other leading progressive papers of the state, has maintained that no third party ticket, aside from the Roosevelt electors, is needed This paper con- tends that the people can select progressives from among the list of candidates, regardless of the party labels. Further, The Star believes that a third party, if put in the field at the clev- enth hour, will only serve to complicate matters and to make it more difficult for the people to wipe out the old standpat machine With leading progressives already filed on both the democratic and republican tickets, a third party would serve to split the progressive vote, and thereby increase the stand- pat chances of victory. “MARIA” AND HER SEVEN CHILOREN” BY FRED L. BOALT |, One day las’ week Maria an’ da;mooch. Please, she wal There”bre lawe—good and neces bambin’ wait till Dominick go to da here—ber an’ da bambi’. There has been so much agitation for a third party by sel- eary—tor reguiating the fiow of im- Job. Then they coom trom Van band» . fish, office seeking, band wagon progressives, that this paper migrants into America. Immigrants °Uv’ to Seattle, United State of The “big bons” lookedab " will welcome decisive action by the convention tonight. At must have so much money, or a job Amarica. Maka da gran’ sneak! the matron” im oe any rate this gathering of progressives is authorized to speak, wep tins ilar thee boy sigue b Pngeratiae 8 mentale, ane Bitocs. Bape he ia re ” ce , endarthe stop Maria no and its word wil! be taken as official and authoritative erwi ey are turned back, apek la po glee wae * in packed up Peery If the convention decides that a third party ticket is un- da bambin’ bexin cry “They haven't a coat ty ‘ necessary, then the people need pay no further attention i ale bien 9 he none from endarme he tak’ ‘um to da de-| World,” said s the antics of the few seckers of public office who prefer, for REO. VEReeGy Lene Se ¢ tention home, Nint' avenoo and). “OT @ soul to go tom obvious sons, ti -cure their ac eel mb through a con- worka at da rond-imend, geeta 4a jefferson Lite bambin’ ver “b/s boss.” “Of Wious reasons, to secure e ath t g twodollaraday, Dominick bad fella geek Maria she say nuttin. Big! Station authortiles willy vention rather than through a primary election from Calabria. All time drunk and boss ver good man. Signora da|>8ck to Vaneouver, Oh) If, on the other hand, the convention should decide to only Drinka da Chanti at Pas- matron ver kint children!” , ans : » fie’ . he CONT < quelo's Bat “signora the e at a third party ticket in the field, then the convention must Maria no speka da Anglais. oatrom resery. . oF Maria, his wife, say nuttin. Scart Bambin’ spek jus’ leetle. Big boss|@4 her pity for Maria. the responsibility. ae get poonch on da jaw, Bambin’ ask why maka da gran’ sneak.|P0Or mother!” she sald: bos ne a come one two, t'ree—seven; Bambin’ say ‘cause ‘fraid ol’ m going back pe Pbe American. people and not the courts are to deter- ctnieaetin = bimeby ‘nother bambin' come, Big boss ask where goin’. Bambin’ Your seven kiddies, ‘the. * Neco fi 1 Pes . 1 policies. I deny that the Amer- etght Dominick drink say nowbere. Big boss say what OP not yet born. & mine their own fundamental policies. fem) ‘ - hanti, eat spaghett'; Maria an’ da do. Bambin’ say nuttin back, and Dominick is tor ican people have surrendered to any set of men the final right} Sambin’ ab. hasnary ig boss s87. “How ‘bout go back} you.” to determine those fundamental questions upon which self government ultimately depends.” That from Roosevelt sounds mighty encouraging. |Say M makea da complain’ to da gran’ sneak. Maria she scart matron's voice, amiled inendarme. Hit her poonch om dajbig bose tak’ bambin’ from her through her tears, And even new ljaw. Maria say nuttin. mebby. Laka da bambin' ver she does not | Ote time Dominick go fo prig-| Vancouv’? Maria she begin to Maria, knowing no a Hone for one mont Come home. shake. Dominick keel aer for maka misinterpreting the the ® Nothing Serious A Financier. | Scott—Jones says he cleared be . tween five and six hundred on that! “4 stock deal of his. I woader if It's so. | Mou-—Ob, yes; he made between | $5 and $600. The exact amount, | believe, was $6.75.Boston Tran- acript. i] Orpheum— Moore—Dark, More Notable Functions M Ss | We learn from special cablegrams to the New York World that the social week abrawd did not paws without some} / notable functions in which our beautiful American women repre * f politan—Dark, pawticipated. The week's ball of Ambassador Reid “How 4 rag ph | : i was quite notable. Says the World: eeipenk-a'iaete an Ee Someone Se on By the Junior Office Boy. sand hung on, with peter tryin to | Empress—Vandeville, oh “The recognized belle of the night was Viscountess Maid-|aid the girl with the "" os ' Lies Scaa mpertinence, ®. ¥., aug 1.—even a burgier runs climb out |] Pantages—Vaudeville. q Ps mind, jnquiring | |, “What's the matter with you and/into a peace of hard luck onct in just then a copper come along || Grand—Vaudeville and 4 stone Mage heir Drexel of Philadelphia), who wore a beauti-jmint | o oe | Mrs. Gabb?™ said Mr. Nags. a while outside, and he see peter's head || _ pictures. : ful n of black and moonlight sequins far too old for her iCaptate Clact , mg pantry, a | ."L detest that woman,” replied! peter collins, he has been bur-/and the top end of him stickin || Clemmer—Photopleys an, Mans tye mieten om Mra. Nage sling for quite some years in a. y. out over the tramsum, and hej] deville looks,” etc., etc. C of refreshments and secgars she's) Of cawse! of cawse! For yeahs and yeahs we've been ex-ja yacht. If it's mostly plain victuals pecting that Mag’s wearing of black and sequins would some sho's a sailboat."—-Wasbington Star, | time begin to make her show that she’s no spring chicken A Dipl } “Rut why do you detest her?’|and visinity, and got along pretty grabbed him by the arms Melbourne—Photoplays | jasked Mr. Noge. good, but the uther night he the bull thought peter had a deville. “Why, she thinks" she's as good/thought it was good night, peter pal on the inside tryin to drag \ae 1 am.” snorted Mra. Nagg.—Cin- he was on his way to the cash him in, and the froot stoar guy |= Se a ee Also: “Countess of Ancaster (Eloise Breese of New York)! gno—1¢ cinnati Inquirer. rejister of a froot stoar in 27thset thought he had a pal on the out rs , e—If you could bave only one —_— looked well, danced a great deal with Mr. Henry W. Taft of| wish, what would it be? Not As It May Seem. gory ong oy notised that the both lee ier = ‘oer yon “How dows a duke make love? |gent who kept the front stoar left) worth Also: “Mrs. Cecil Bygham danced a great deal with Prinee|!f ae, dared to tell you what it “Don't be silly,” anid the helress,|his transum open over the frunt| the poor burgler he dident care y door when he went home, and he/a duro witch way he was pulled, ‘Alexander of Teck and afterward played bridge with Mr. Taft.”|" ghe—well, go on. W > oy _ | nervously, * . ‘hy do you a@ “ - it fi t Also: “Princess Alexander of Teck looked well and Piolo I brought up the wishing eae fre “wee, pod ~ Bag: ~ Ay hand? one to hissel hme for the rm but gota both ways at onct was New York, and sat out with him in an alcove after supper.” He—It would be that—that—On, and chatted with Mr. Taft.” : subject?—Brooklyn Eagle. he eat fn the parlor holding a bunch|the next nite he went to the froot) for the love of mike, he _ hol- Also: “Mr. Taft escorted the duchess of Devonshire in to ons Ione “Rusty Turnstile, th’ popular man-|of my 4 per cent bonds?” —-Washing-|stoar and he climed 1-2 way Over iered, youse guys git together and dinner, The duchess is a very quiet, matter-of-fact lady with) ty, p, * ager 0° th’ Beeleysport nine, is took 1% Herald. the transum lframe it up, and fle come eather rage he climed over by sticking one way, but nix on the tug of war m giad to see you! in’ fer three outfielders with small “ni Three Prices. foot over, and then the uther,| sion they finelly let him down severe views on social relaxations.” on your way to Sunda z y school, Ab feet. Th’ Too bad, of cawse, too bad! There was Hank, starting ont | gernon. hat do you expect to fine stand oan ara wae “What's the lowent price for that|4od he had his legge inside and) "1.0 isside, he clamed he had a notable evening, a-taking ‘em out into alcoves to set, and) "“igernos~ Welt, 1 oe | want it tromped.” | wear?” the sent of him oe pB sovy mong pean stretched 6 fet, tol fe ret re r : Rie : ‘rece Gr Ym , pect to learn) rite * bad froot stoar guy, en! DP “? a-bridging and a-chatting with ‘em—the very makings of a rip-|the date of the picnic, for one thing. — ee... Bor Rags never mind,{Den to have gone home yet, herd dident think we ane would snorting old New York time—and then they anchor on him|—Chicago News, thee hhh hee hehe TT Lake It Make me out two billx,| =m kickin around and come = a t that severe duchess who has views on social relaxations. mae li %lone for 20 marks to show my hus.|renning | moral—ite generelly wiser to Got all stiffened up for a high dive into the notable social] >, wuden Advice. |* Something Wrong. # | band and one for 200 marks to show| be grabbed peter by the fect! ciime in head first johny pool, did Hank, and then they relaxed him by matching him up|on. - man had agrouchi® “This has been @ funny #|My friends.”—Piicgende Biaotter, | xem paths pee terete — with a duchess of severe views. Gee, but the water must have Bade re the matter?” inquired the! 2 rod emernes See speerrey 4 Reason to 8 Elated. SRA ARAKHHARAREARAEHRARHEESE been cold! Tyou dont care’ a 7s ie Gane respect?" asked the 2 BR 5 Hy mg be rather elated,” ? Apanestree ba 4 ae ick Mee A LIVING wage standard, old age pensions, workmen’s| “Life e's burden te mar et |e yo lore it fe August and no | “I am,” replied Mr. Dustin Stax.| & stand ner the bust of aphrodite In the Boston Museum of compensation and insurance, the prohibition ‘of premature em- “Take an interest in something. | — ee eee Pe 2 he wee moral aw and dis-|@ Fine Arts the other day, Miss Hopkins, the story teller at the yment of children, regulation of the hours of work—truly, yigere an avocation, Take up golf.” | # of the world.”—Cincinnatl En- aioe poke ace Me eum t beara the " Pi . Reg ren Raa gnc megpe te thay sh eodore Roosevelt has dedicated the new national progres-| ‘phan tant” Op aviation Pin tr oe #| dared to hope. A candidate has per-|¢ she asked one little boy what he noticed about the mouth | —Pitte | w # | mitted me to contribute to bis cam It's closed tight,” replied the boy. Sive party to a worthy and specific program of lifting a few of the burdens off the shoulders of the toilers of the world THE ONLY thing we can suggest to Lorimer is that he start another party.—Atchison Globe IT Is understood that the British prime minister looks under the bed every night to see if there is a suffragette there. —Pittsburg Gazette Times. | Post. i salle eee ee eee eae palen fond Washington Star. THE REAL THING. AGREEABLE TO HER. Why is that?” continued the young lady, expecting that he would make the usual answer that it indicated determination. The boy, however, had his own ideas on the subject, and he re plied She ain't got no adenolds."—Boston Tranacript. Will save you money 08 in the Jewelry line, COULDN'T POSSIBLY. 7 AMATEUR TAKE Ni Why not have your & Jone, right? It costs 1 if lett with A.M. FROST Peeeeeeee eee eee et eteteeeeee ee A LAST RESORT “I'm sorry to hear that your son has fatied In busines: “Yes, it's too bad. John don’t seem to have no head for business.” “Perhaps he would have done better if he had gone in for one of the professions.” “Well, he don’t seem to have no bent in that direction neither. He studied a while to be a doctor, but give it up. Then | tried to get him started [n aa a lawyer, bat he couldn't make no headway, and preachin' }never did run in our family. It kind of looks as though I'd have to support him all my life, unless he makes up his mind to go into poll- ties."—Chicago Record-Herald. AFTER reading a few newspapers one is led to believe that the New York police force divides its time between Olympic games and manslaughter —Milwaukee Sentinel. MGV AOM Saiited his spubek oF dceythace wheely—one bHiedhadlaMalicMiaiiieiieiotohatalahaliclalaieieliaialeleh? day after Teddy's keynote address. If they had come on the * NOT IN THIS LIBRARY * same day, politicians might have been overcome by undue ex G Henry B. Legion, the Ohicago Ubrerian, was praising Andrew * citement. —— * * “In a recent letter from Mr. Carnegie,” he added, “the * WE e actually A — eo a GA # great capitalist said he always saw to it that the Hbrarians em- * D AND: ; ae $ case is indeed hopeless. Look what those 50 Black oii | She—George, you certainly look |" % ployed in the Carnegie libraries had a good, sound knowledge of * and ae FOR $3.80. Wi loot Indians did yesterday. They presented the president's som|the home teama yin’ do you think like a waiter in that full dress suit,| Frank—How'd you like to sign|* literature *|T ARE MAKING $8, $10 } with a Teddy bear. That sure is a subtle expression of their|’ Por Ne Wille Darn ay George—I feel Iike one, too, after | with me for life's game? * ‘He said that he didn’t want any librarian like a Cleveland */|— sets oF TEETH Opinion of Taft as a big chief I lt bs rls rs Ie, don think 80. | waiting about two hours for you to| Maude—I'm agreeable, Where’s|* °®*,'0 whom a visitor said *|T AND $7.00. chief on the home team let ready for the theatre. |your diamond? : Fea t'd Uke to have Shelley's “Prometheus, Unbound,” tf you * And while somal .. one y TH ’ please.’ * 4 ¥ OLD GROVE JOHNSON, Gov. Hiram Johnson’s famous a ee | NOTHING DOING. | NOTHING LEFT. * H'm!’ the Cleveland Ibrarian answered loftily, ‘we don't #|f charse ridiculous prices a standpat father, probably will feel a little proud of that son of : oC:CUlUl. Le * stock unbound books in this library.’"—Philadelphia Telegraph, |} bridgework, we ane Mii gay i his if the latter gets the vice presidential nomination at Chicago, a | ORR KOR RR ko RR ok R/P and 210 Dee eat ll even if Grove is one of the “old guard.” BO, die peemine and Our old Puls ate } ; ————- | “ ap; extracting is _ SEATTLE is going to get a Swiss consul soon. Dr. Paul Miss Youngwedd (to caterer’s boy)—Oh, this is the chicken salad “ive guarantee E All right. Here the first boost—we proclaim that Swiss Boy (puzzled)—T can't tell you how it's made, nium. wt eRe are theese is a thousand times preferable to limburger. Mrs, Youngwedd—But you must; my husband told me when I paid ble Dentists: 8p ' for {t to be sure and get the receipt—Boston Transcript. is 3 PUBLIC officials seem to be in need of a correspondence — A course in automobile driving. First, three superior court judges! PUZZLED ALBANY ey get arrested for exceeding the speed limit. And yesterday an Bobby's father owned an incubator, and one day the little fellow ) was watching a chicken energetically breaking its way through its DENTISTS automobile spill scattered a number of bruises among a few deputy sheriffs. Just then his father came along, and Bobby said: “Papa, | see how that chicken gets out of his shell, but what | can‘ peoples understand is how he gets into it.-Chicago Newss ge * | "| E seconp FLOOR BANK BLDG, A HAIR RESTORER corner Second and Lady—I ventured to call on you for your opinion, professor. Do Take Elevate IF OTHER progressive states follow the lead of breezy Kansas, the Bull Moose party will get real “sassy” early in the game. Kansas nominates eight Roosevelt electors and a Roose velt congressman. Then, just for good measure, they nominate 17°" Famous PlaninDoce bo show aay taste for Ri Male congrensman,. Then, just fr f ; G | Famous Pianist—Does he show any taste for it? rat xa e +, Lady—Not the least; but dis hair has been falling out so much CONGRESSMAN STANLEY'S | | Jack—Well, W " lately, and everything else we have tried has done no good at all!— “ c re re , k— ve lie, what s- | Pung ood at all! ommittee reports that} GCharlie—When J had money she! sion do you charge to Boig hr gy | She aie Fo the Carnegie-Gary plan of contr y trusts is S sed to t f you want to know, | us instead of it nit ing tru is somewhat Social hink that nothing was too| Willle—Wel REALLY NOT SERIOUS a : . 0 part 4 know, | ead of standing? Gary being unconstitutional, t ¢ 2| Gec And ? Well, I bet all I had th pe heir t , but it’s simply cruelty. to ani-| Geore—And now? me fer passes’ just’ because you| game, f ee Young Bilfur and Miss Wapple fell out yesterday.” is to list ’em as Socialists. y hay rho agg she thinks she's too} come ‘round to call on sis and barn jall mt be wal fd yg “PR scotia lng me ri a good me. our gas, “I'm sure Misa Wapple will. They fell out of a mo! _ ft . tor boat,”—Bir HeAKON, mingham Age-Herald,