The Seattle Star Newspaper, July 27, 1912, Page 4

THE SEATTLE STAR Phone: Private Exchange Main 9400. HAY, the putty governor who obeyed the bosses ‘and prohibited the people of this state from holding a i ial primary, is getting more and more wor- as the day approaches when he is to face the The country Rube who came to town used to be a stock) Buy the Rube has made good. Most of the men at the of any city’s biggest affairs first came to town as Rubes, The tide of migration has turned, and with it the joke has ed upon the city man who has the idea that a few thousand rs and a few books on agriculture will make him a suc- wessful farmer. Even a stupid turnip is said to know a city farmer as soon @ it sees him; the peas fairly rattle in their pods with derision Be he passes; wandering too near. the beehive with a book on ymiaking, he gets stung in three places; his cauliflowers urn out to be cabbages; the thunder sours his milk; the drouth s his corn; the rust gets in his wheat; the peaches drop off S iiiore they ripen; the rot strikes his potatoes; the hogs destroy the watermelons; everything goes wrong, and farming is a failure. Yet in spite of these difficulties, the city farmer, in the Wicinity of every city in our land, is making good—not finan- ially, perhaps, but in ways even better. : A sharply-handled hoe will hack to pieces all his dyspepsia. v ing of an ax will tone up his nerves as no other tonic will the prongs of the long fork with which he tosses the hay into the mow he can pitch away the worst attack of “the Blues.” In the wake of the plow he picks up strength to meet emergency. The dash of the shower that wets him to the composes his spirit for any crisis, | He isa King of Creation, whose royal banquet lasts all the mer, beginning with cups of crocus and ending with glow- tankards of autumnal glory; and the handwriting on his q is that of the honeysuckle and the rambler rose. TAFT for president and Hay for governor are Gure to get all of the votes of the bosses in this state and the vote of ex-Judge Hanford besides. VARIOUS brands of ns are now posing i It’s the very latest style but the people not be fooled into voting for any of the “for-elec- ” progressives. fornia, himself a large cattle , offers no hope of decrease in the high cost of meats. He figures by individual farmers, who raise the hay to fatten steers. holly right or not, a lot of things Indicate that ling proposition for generations soon to come is going to be scientific raising of much on a limited acreage. to move as a stream. It abandons vast terri- the East to take up, exhaust and leave the Middle West for Its methods and processes regions would mean awful shortage of food supply.) , this stream of ploueers slowly, but surely, is coming fellow educated to make three crops grow where one was reaped before. And side by side with him is coming the who raises practically all that he consumes. The disappearance ‘the great cattle ranges and ranches is not wholly a calamity, by a :- _ JOHNNIE LAWRENCE, after feeding at the pub- fe as a member of Hay’s standpat machine up “a itil a months ago, now wonders why the peonle wefuse to recognize him as a progressive. WHAT'S that feeling of aching void? Why, no holidays @f celebrations in sight for a month or two, of course! ANOTHER Seattle man jabbed in the eye by long hatpin | Morn by woman. What's becoMe of that anti-hatpin ordi- Mance, anyway. A CONSTRUCTIVE arrest does not seem to be more ful than constructive death in mimic warfare, observes cilman A. J. Goddard today. WHEN 13 theatre boxes can be sold for $2,600 for enter ment to raise money for children’s hospital, it looks as igh the world thought a little about the weak and helpless CONGRESSMAN HUMPHREY says hie is not to be con Bidered under any circumstances for the federal bench. Why, that’s the very thing that big mass meeting against his ap- pointment said recently. PRESIDENT TAFT is reported to have entered his prize fow, Pauline, at a cattle show in Pennsylvania. If it was a cx goat, he’d sure get the blue ribbon by a vote of the people ‘0 j vember. BOB HODGE is keeping one Hay on the anxious seat way he is stirring up things in Eastern Washington, Bob traveled around the world more than once in his sailor @ays and it looks like an easy job for him to reach that guber Matorial port. (The opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily the opin. of The Star. Correspondents should append their names and ad- 8 to communications, not for publication—uniess permission is ex- ly given—but as an evidence of good faith. Letters should contain more than 200 words.) Editor The Star: Rev. Adna; And we, the North End Progress , in his sermon of Sunday) ive club, are not only in sympathy ing, July 21, preached against | with the stand he h terrible condition prevailing in| willing to assist him, and hope others cafes in regard to serving) will do the same. to women, and especially) NORTH END women. CLU! ——— ee =—————— ee J PROGRESSIVE ——s * WHAT IGNORANCE The new teacher bad arrived at the school, and the pupils were sizing her up. The first lesson was in natural history, and the teacher had chosen the interesting but complex subject of the cat. “Now, children,” she said, “tell me what sort of clothes pussy wears.’® No reply. “Come, come,” said the new teacher, determined to extract the righ’ answer by naming everything that pussy didn’t wear. “Does wear feathers?” A pained expression crossed the face of a little boy in the front row. “Please, ma'am,” he asked, pityingly, “ain't you never seon @ cat?” SEF ELS SF PETE SE EERE EE badiadindh. taih t todbnteed 2.2. 2de tedinted a 2 2 a EVEN THINGS UP “My papa is a whole head taller than yours!” “Well, and my papa’s a whole tummy fatter."—Filegende Biaetter. aken, but are) jothing FAIR PLAY. HARD ON GEORGE, She—Oh, Mr. Dubb, won't you get your bathing sult on and teach me how to swim? He—I can't swim, She—Well, then, how, Grace—George showed mo this dog paddle stroke Mamie—I can't think of anyono more capable of showing that | wtroke than George, Tn show you THE CANNY JUSTICE “Thet's a fine-lookin’ car o' your’ teter,” said the old man with a chin whisker, as he inapected De ch's motor standing in front of the Eagle House at Togus. “You bet it is,” sald Dubbleigh, “I came over here f county this morning in just 65 minutes, Going some, oh “Yoas,” sald the old gentleman, striking his whiskers thougntfully, “Kin ye prove itt” “I have five witnesses in my guesta,”-eald Dubbleigh Waal, I'll take yer word,for it,” sald the stranger, “Just fork over 26 and we'll call it square. I'm Justice of the peace around here, land it'll save time to settle this here vi'lation right now,”—Harper’s Weokly, Watkins NOT CONTAGIOUS Nearly all of the children in the neighborhood had been {ll with chickenpox, and one morning when they were able to play about again, Julia, aged 4, came running In to her mother and burst out excitedly, “Oh, mother, the Smith children have got something else, but brother says we can't catch it, |, what is it they have?" the mother asked. “It's pigeon toes,” she replied.—Mothers’ Magazine. TROUBLE IN BILLVILLE “The moonshine distillery has moved ten miles farther “Land sakes!" exclaimed the colonel, “have we got to change the nite again ?’—Atlanta Constitution. | town } CAUGHT NOTHING DOING. Charlle—I get engaged to a dif- ferent girl every year I come up) here. | He—Are you spending your first Frank—Lucky dog IT got- mar-| season up here ried to the first one I became en-| She—No, my last. There isn’t a gaged to. decent fellow up here, HIS PREFERENCE “Prisoner, you have been condemned to death, but in this state we bones you to choose between hanging and shooting. Which do you prefer?” ® “Since I have my choice, sirs, I prefer to be hung in effigy.”— Baltimore American, AN EVERYDAY TRAGEDY Mary dropped her eyes on the floor as Henry burst into the room, Her Jengthened rapidly, and she finally pierced him with a glance. As his laugh rose and fell, she dropped her jaw and her voice broke,— Judge. JUST A PRECAUTION ; Why are you starting out with an umbrella on such a sunshiny day? I am bound for the art gallery.” “But you Cannot exhibit an umbrelia!” ‘Of course not. But a notice on the catalogue says that one must leave his cane or umbrella outside before he can enter.”—Toronte World, MAKES A DIFFERENCE “Singing in vaudeville now? I thought couldn't sing? But I sing from horseback now, and that makes a prime vaudeville Kansas City Journal. ~ SURE THING. the managers said you act HELP WANTED Johnny-—Say, sis, can't yer titer as duce me ter some nice young lady? I'm about de only feller what ain’t got er goll down here, He ever. She You look as charming I always do. WOULD BE SATISFIED THEN A lawyer tells the following of a judge who, in his day, was a advocate of temperance in eating, in drinking, in the use of tobacc in all things. Praising temperance at a lawyers’ banquet, he c 4 story about a young wife who said to her husband, “Jack, dear, I do wish you would stop drinking. Every time you go to one of those ban- quets of yours, you get up the next morning pale and tired; you won't eat anything—you Just gulp down nine or ten glasses of water, Do stop drinking, dear. I know It's bad for you.” “But all great men have been drinking men,” Jack grumbled, “Look - bene Quincey, look at Poe, look at Charles Lamb, look at Sheridan, | look" | “Well,” interrupted his wife, “you just promise, dear, that you'll quit drinking till you're great, and I'll be satisfied.”——Tit-Bits, . WASHINGTON TO ST. LOUIS “Have you made any sacrifice to demonstrate your patriotism?” 1 have,” replied the St. Louis man, “I bet on the home team regularly,”——-Washington Star. SAFE ANYHOW Professor—-The average American girl is poorly educated. Mont Graduate—-You think so? rofessor——Yos, but there is one consolation; the average Ameri- can boy will never find It out—Satire, ‘ ° ——| good Serious THE EASIEST (For a Poet to Hold His Job Dur ing the Heated Term.) Whether I would fain indile a Sonnet or ballade, or whether I endeavor just to write a Silly pome, {t's only—weather, On the level, you could flatten Out my fancy with a feather, While the lazy muse refuses Any subject but the weather, And I care not, gents and ladies, If you roast me, all together; For I'm hotter now than Hades, And I'm roasted by the weather. The Fatal Plunge. “I believe Mr, Blank will propose to our Edith tonight.” “What makes you think that?” “I notice when he came fn he had a sort of desperate look,”— Mexgendorfer Blaetter, “Th’ Beeleysport House finds that it pays ter issue $5 meal tickets, for twelve SOcent There ie a consid’able savin’ by this, as none are ever presented after th’ third meal.” A Dutiful Son. it now turns out that while | Woodrow Wilson waa born in Vir ginia his parents and grandparents| » born in Ohio, which explains ly everything Christian } 8clence Monitor. | The Result of the Primary. it had been a hard day at the polls, The addition of nearly a ‘thousand women's votes to the poll made the counting a prolonged “Well, en,” eaid Mra Wi as ber husband returned om his arduous labors aa « toller, how did the vote go?” “Nine hundred and two votes for Hilded, 753 for Blathers, eight recipes for tomato ketchup, four wash lists and a milliner’s bil said Wallicky, “It was a mighty interesting vote.”-—Judge, Vaudevillainous. “Mother, I must go out to work, We cannot pay our board bill.” “Then bang your clothes on a hick- ory limb, And you'll get a good job in vaudeville.” Proof. Mra. Casey (sitting up in bed)-— Mike, did yer put out the cat? Mr. Casey—O} did. a THE BEST VACATION At the beginning of vacation many of the Circle members wrote Uncle Jack about the best way to spend a vacation, | and the boys and girls are right in the middie of it,| and Uncle Jack wonders how many vacation “dreams” came true, and actually her which boy or girl is really getting For the best answer to this be awarded, Letters must be 8 o'clock Friday afternoon, and t TWO BRAVE BOYS wived by Uncle Jack not later than) FOR BOYS AND GIRLS Now vacation is the most of it ation, & big box of chocolates will tories must not exceed 100 words, THE PRIZE WINNER Uncle Jack received many rhymes to fill out the last two lines in each verse of the “Jingle That Neods Fixing,” and it was hard to select the best. After studying a long time he decided on the one below, A nice box of chocolates awalts Bessie at The Star office Once when little Willie's mamma Sent him down to buy a hat, In the Potlatch crowd, poor kiddie, Got his headptece mashed quite flat. So when now she sends her sonnie To the market or the store Mamma knows he won't be jam- med, for This year's Potlatch week is o'er. BESSIE DAY. Seattle, Wash. Peter Robertson. Marie Scholz. Elsie Wiisted. Olga Langland. Elizabeth Dotan. WAYNE AND PAUL TWYFORD. This is a picture of two little boys who went all the way from Seattio to Biackburn, Oklahoma, alone. Their names are Wayne and) Paul Twyford. Both boys havo) been selling The Star, and sent) their picture to Uncle Jack for the Cirele. Thank you, boys, The Circle will be glad to hear how you like your new home. You will probably have] interesting things to write. COSCOCHHOHSCHOO ORE * THE OLDER THEY e THEY FALL, POSS HCHHHOOOOOOD BY THE JUNIOR OFFICE BOY a. ¥., jooly david harden- brook lives tn Jamaika, long island, and he wishes he hadent done it not living on jong island, he likes that all rite, but he wishes he! hadent become a marriage basher | -|for a misterious old boob 62 years of age with exght milyen dollers and a soft spot on his dome mr. hardenbrook he put an add into the paper, saying that this old duck wanted a Wife, and ladys wish- ing the job should write to mr, hardenbrook of course mr, hardenbrook'’s add dident say nuthing about the soft spot on the old guy's roof, 1 just put that in myself and | got reason to the add sald the lady witch this; aged gent will marry must be blond, with biue lamps, under 20, and happy now Sm i rite or am { rong about the old feller being kind of mushy from the coller up Keo whiz, the older they are, the harder they fall well, mr. hardenbrook, he aint Mra, Casey—O! don’t belave it!) had no peace in his life sinse that Mr. Casey—Well, if yer Om a lar, get up an’ put ‘er out yernelt. | Not S0 Warm. “What sort of a town is Boston, anyway?” “An iceburg, my friend.” think | paper came out with the add in ft by 8 o'clock there w blonds “setting on his front steps and before noon his front lawn was all tramped down with red-headed gerls and peroxides and qne thing and anuther, and a hole lot more! was poundin on the kichin door and £. J. Bush. Edith Ridenour. Susan Rudolph. Edwin Balmert. Gladys Neill. Marguerite Bugnon. Marion Traynor. Leta Da: Constance Adams. Mabel Stuart. Violet Jones. irene Pyncheon. Elizabeth Martin. OOOSCSTHHSOHOHOOOD ARE, THE HARDER * SAYS JOHNY hg OOCHCHCHCOCH HOC OOD yellin for the address of the old gink with the 8 milyen dollers so they could go and kidnap bim get away from here, all you wim- men, hollers mr. hardenbrook from an upstares window, | aint birtng a corus for a musical comedy, go on and beat it now, rite me a letter and send a pickcher if you want to get in the game well, by golly, it was pretty near 6 o'clock at nite before mrs. harden- brook dast go out of the house to the grocery store for fear them dames would bust in and search the place for the old guy now there is 2 extry men carryin mail to mr. hardenbrook’s house, he gets about 2 thousand letters a day 1 dont wunder, new york is full of bionds and 8 milyun dollers ts a lot of money johny s i Gentile and Sure jYou, also, should give proval to this efficient family remedy—your bowels will be regulated so surely and safely your liver stimulated; your digestion so improved by BEECHAMS bu PILLS In boxes 10c., 28a, Just to Convince Yourself Ask a half dozen stenographers, anywhere, which typewriter they prefer. This has been tried hundreds of times by rospective buyers and the verdicts have een practically unanimous in favor of the Underwood Typewriter “The Machine You Will Eventually Buy” For Durability, Speed, Accuracy, and Ease of Operation it is unapproachable, UNDERWOOD TYPEWRITER CO., INC, Seattle Office, 8 BRANCHES IN ALL 16 Third Ave, PRINCIPAL CITIRS EVADNE SEPHTON, Dear Uncle Jack—Here's my pled ture for the Circle. I am 15 years of age and in the Seventh grade of the Edmonds school, Please return ~ the picture. EVADNE SEPHTON. Edmonds, Wash, MORE NEW MEMBERS © The following boys and girls ha applied for Circle membership com” tificates. The certificates hare been sent them. Write Uncle Jack at The Star for a membership card, Meude Burr, 10225 57th av. 8. Dorothy Ferguson, Anacortes. Verna M. Thompson, Edmonds. Kathrine Hafner, Arlington. Marion Beaty, Mount Vernon. Willetta Parks, 1409 N. 50th. Mary Sheldon, 1419 N, 50th. Haze! Sanders, 6246 Palatine. SULPHURRO BATHS FOR RHEUMATISM —READ BOOKLET— CURED OF BOWEL AND STOMACH TROUBLES time being confined to the bed, no to be on my feet, and wi ntly getting worse. My stom: nd bowels were in very bad When I began taki treatments of Dr. Swick I could] short time the stomach bowels were in fine condition. and six weeks I was a new woman. a was doing all my own housework.” Sans. V. N. DICKENSON. The above cure was effected wi out giving a drop of medicine can do as much for you if you troubled in like manner if you give us the opportunity. SWICK SANITARIUM 2515 Firet Av. Seattle, Wash. 99% times with some neglected, One dose of Buffer a indigestion. dyspepsia. Scotch Stomach Remedy ‘Witt cure ind always k op fp your bones, le and drunk like t You dertat traveling U tea Please © the taste, better foto eee and ‘guarantesd remedies he SCOTCH STOMACH 50c REMEDY 47 ALL GOOD DRUGGISTS