The Seattle Star Newspaper, May 28, 1912, Page 4

Phone Lf paper Brees Associations. Bitered at Seattic Wash, post mall ou ed Tot elie, All the world may not exactly love a lover, but it always takes quite an interest in his letters when they are read to the jury. Onee a year, 48 of the nicest women in this country, one from each state, get together at Mt. Vernon, the home, of forge and Martha Washington. They take absolute posses m, shutting the public out of house and grounds. They sleep | the Washington beds, hang their modern gowns in the W ash~} on closets, sit at the Washington table, and toast their toes ore the Washington hearths. These are the regents, representing the women of America, who saved, restored and preserved Mt, Vernon, one of the most eee of our shrines. And they have done it so well! it) “Was he cool on the witness is really touching to behold how well they have done it. And | “What ts polygamy, pat stand?" they are richly entitled to all the fun they get out of it. It is! “Too much of @ bad thing, my “Yes-—antil the lawyer on the : . son.” other «ide began to roast him,” @ high national service The joke is on the fellow who tried to get that “joker” Taylor av. steal past Mayor Cotterill, Notice that the council unanimously sustained the mayor's veto? Evidently the chap Fosponsible for the “joker” forgot that Cotterill was the crack joker” ‘walloper in the state senate. The FolKs at Home We heard from New York, then from Wisconsin, and finally from Ohio. And we note a singular thing The only one of the three presidential candidates who can carry his OWN state, carry it SOLID, and ca majority is Robert M. La Follett« Wonder if the neighbors rea bl ¢ gentlemen, anyhow! y know anything about the President Taft's only claim to renomination seems to be! pg that Roosevelt has had two terms. [tana of Solid Comfort The new ruler of Denmark, King Christian, succeeds to the throne of a fine little country that minds her own business and finds it a paying proposition. Denmark has a foreign trade} of $108 per capita. Germany has only $60 Denmark's soil is settled in very small, highly-cultivated areas, and her people carry co-operative trade and industry far- ther than any other nation. A land withoat vaulting ambition, but with lots of solid | enough, comfort “ILLINOIS mothers’ congress recommends bachelors adopting or-| * = children and women to take care of them.” Yes, and there are) proposed in many states to tax bachelors. Verily, the expression of “single blessedness” will soon be out of date. China and the Barkers We have been celebrating the “freedom of China,” and} [At Mount Vernon ————d ry it by a BIG] right hand know what bis tert hand | ls doing rainbows to mining stocks.” ® Forty Thieves” * Mr. Callipere—Now, my son, you are too young to tatk poll ® ties.— Puck. Reliciietttt ti ee ee ee ee ee | HIS GNAKESHIP “ weman! Thue Blanche Bates. “| love the of they let me be old-fashioned ae OFTEN THE CASE” ) “Dobbs says bis wife is his right “When I wae a boy I used to hand dj think there was a pot of gold at the| Well? end of the rainbow.” “Sometimes he @oean’t let his And nowt IT ALL DEPENDS “And you think a jury will give me damages?” The junior partner wasn't certain. He called the senior partner, who gazed at the lady for « ™e momenta, Then he went out and beck. oned the junior partner af him. “Don't take the case,” ¢ whispered. That girl isn't goodtooking Kansas City Journal. hie eee eee ee ee a PAPA’S REPLY Little Clarence (who has an inquiring mind)—Papa, “The A CHANCE OF A LIFETIME “Have you any cheering news? asked the boarding house land here she is going in debt $250,000,000 to the bankers of the! !ady, when her husband got home. United States, France, England, Germany and Japan, on con-! dition that the agents of said bankers shall supervise her accounts. You can be mighty “free” until you get hard up for cash; | t : i | body"s peony bed? and then you have to see Your Uncle and dance to his music China will be as free as circumstances permit. And her creditors are the “circumptances.” Observati WE CAN not expiain the remarkable silence of George Perkins and Giff. Pinchot on any other theory than that they are too busy writ ing checks.—Washington Post. ° o o REMBRANDT’S “Old Woman Picking a Fowl,” that brought $250,.| 000 in Paris, shows once more how rapidly the price of dressed poultry, @ven in art, is rising—~-New York Worid. o oe o STATISTICIANS have set out to prove that the cost of living has @dvanced. What an awful surprise this will be to the folks who pay the bilis—Philadelphia North American. e 20.8 SENATOR DIXON takes rank with the greatest of campaign agers. Every pledged Taft delegation increases his confidence that Mr. Roosevelt will win.—New York World. a oe CERTAIN congressmen advocate the coinage of 3-cent pieces. The! only redecming feature we can see in a coin of that size is that some- times it can be passed for a dime.—Milwaukee Sentinel. o oe o A PHILADELPHIA firm is making what is thought to be the larg- est gate in the world for J. P. Morgan. Probably for that fence he is building around the country.—Pittsburg Dispatch. oO o o THE position of that great body of Southern republican delegates ig becoming grievous enough to stir the pity of a nation. How much! longer must they be kept in ignorance of the location of the band- wagon?—New York World. ea. © THE picture of that 76-year-old New York woman, dying from the exposure resulting from two days spent on the sidewalk, following her ejectment because of unpaid rent, is a good one for the large charitable organizations of that city to ponder over. “THE EASE OF THE TENT” the other clty papers from people In answer to “My Desire,” written|that seem to have the wrong im-| “ | pression in regard to the proposed after reading one of Berton Braley’s |b iage across Lake Washington poems. One man seems to have the im. pression that it would only connect Oh, give me the ease of the tent] Mercer island with the city at Bal-| -——————— i “Neath the tree: ley’s peninsula. If that were all, I Far from sordid city life would be against {it at this time “A pretty guest chamber,” But that is not all. The bridg “Pictures.” Forsooth— This woman surely has lake with this side and open a*high Lost her youth, way for all the trade and farm| products from the Cascade moynt What picture more beautiful, ains west into Seattle that now goe Or restful, pray, Than that of the sunset |the reason that Lake Washington At close of day. fornia a barrier that turns tle's A hammock beneath the trees, natural trade into other channels With the scent of the pine— A few years ago, when potatoes! The smoke of the campfire were almost unobtainable in Seat And rest for mine. {tle, and unobtainable many times} \at any price, people were dumping| A quaff of black coffee From an old tin cup A drink “the gods tons of them into the Snoqualmie | river, not over 25 miles east of Se Might envy the sup. |to market. Then it was either haul The cold spring water fto Fall city and ship from there es The flowers ‘neath your feet, to Monroe and ship from there This sort of content Is true life sweet. freight tariffs, or by wagon from the river to Seattle, whieh could be Back to old nature |reached about as quickly, but Is life divine— Lake Washington and its terty- Olive me a tent boats, long waits either side to And the pantry is thine You can invite yous friends charges to pay besides. Conse And serve them with tea, quently, the potatoes went in to the But rest, sweet rest— river and Seattle paid for them by In camp for me paying the higher price for what ANOTHER SEATTLE WOMAN.) she could get. Seattle has paid for —- several bridges at $50,000 each by Editor The Star: 1 notice that| keeping herself hommed in by wa there have been a few protests in ter. L, B. PRICE the columns of The Star and one of; 8610 45th Ay. 8. prise! would connect the east side of the! to Tacoma, Monroe and Everett, for} jattle, for the want of a way to get| making it equivalent to paying two| the same lesson in passing, #0 he tur connect in and out, and the ferry| Dearie,” be cried, “I have more than that! 1 have a happy sur Huh! Are you sober? “Better than that, dear heart’ “Well, tell it to me. Did you carn two bits spading up some “Aw, may! = This fe the real thing. “Tell me the worsi! You know that milliner you got a $90 hat from?” “| do~—don't tell me she's dead.” “Better thaa that. She's coming her for two weeks’ board.” “Henry! You can have that trip to Monte Carlo you've been! wanting (leveland Plain Dealer. ~ NOBODY—By Meek. we THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR Bridget, tell him I'm at home, but I don’t want to see him.” If you will look at the clock, Mr. Knickshaw, you'll see it’s time to go. “I don't know who the other candidate is, old chap, but if you're running for office 1 shall vote for him. Chicago Tribune. “I'll lend you t ¢ fiver, Junkins, but it only shows that I've got more money than I've got sense.” No, I'm only going to stay a few moments, Mrs. Kadger; I see interrupted your spanking of the children.’ I like your voice well enough, Miss Chucksley, but you make awfully ugly faces when you sing.” Dearie, your talk doesn’t bother me a bit; I'm not lstening.”— Chicago Tribune, A WISE STENOGRAPHER A State st. lawyer had an office boy who was given to tell in other offices what happened in that of his chief. The lawyer found it necessary to discharge him, but, thinking to keep him from a similar fault in the future, he counseled the boy wisely on his departure. Willie, you must never hear anything in the office,” he said, “Do what you are told to do, but turn a deaf ear to conversation that does not include you." A happy inspiration. He would see that the stenographer learned od to her and said: “Miss Brown, did you hear what I said to Willie?” “No, sir,” she returned, promptly.“Boston Traveler. THE WILY INSURANCE AGENT A life insurance agent was standing on the rear platform of a crowded car, and was given the squeeze by a bunch @ pickpocket He felt himself jostled, but did not know that he had been touch until the thieves had left the car, Then another passenger remarke “{ think those fellowa got the purse out of your hip pocket.’ »,” said the Insurance man, with a sigh of gratitude, “If they only got to my hin noeket they got @ gatebook, and perhaps they'll take out some insurance,” is at lant “The serpent tion of Adam and Bye.” “Right you are; the first publieity agent.” AFTER EATING made the reputa the snake was QUITE DIFFERENT Now | | Do you know who I “1 have turned my attention from | brown taste tomorrow So Most ni ‘ oy Finco @. OQemyre “A mummified dead cat found in @ bureaw drawer in room 10 at th’ Becleyeport House, There'd been nothin’ wuz thought of it. Besides, there ain't no other hotel in town.” You'd think. if you noche Gates in “Nobody's Widow” at the Metropolitan this week, that she loved the modernity in which she liver And you would be wrong. Just tleten: my faee the fati the dearest and most lovable wom an in the world standards for men and women, I ight to be taken care of as a has band must care for you, to be loved and to be lied to in the way that all lovers lie “Nature, you know, meant women for Just one thing, and as you bear are a worthy product or « cumberer of the earth Tam tired of everlastingly deny ing myself chocols creams and other dainties, for fear that I will &rOW too fat to be able to get into my hipless gown without a shoe horn I really want to wear my own hair, instead of paying exorbitant prices for that which belonged to ome one else | i we mn only knew ft, how much easier and pleasanter it would jbe for them to live as our grand- mothers did, accepting placidly in stead of hitting their heads against & stone wall of feminine tradition and man’s ideals of what a woman should be (for men still have those ideals, you know), and everlastinly try to change the inherited ideas of thelr lords and masters. How perfectly delightful it would be to spend a whole after. noon atitching crosestitch mous roses upon a pair of slippers for the jman you while all the while |you remembe how he looked when he raised the glass to bis Hips the night before and passionately murmured, ‘Drink to me only with | thine eyes “The girl of today has to get siong with, ‘Gee, but you are look ing ewell! | “Doeg ever any one see a man stand bareheaded upon the street any more while an? “L cannot understand why women should want to be on an equal foot- ing with men, when they can be placed upon pedestals and wor. shiped. “I do not Want to eat in restaur-: ants where the woman across from me drinks a cocktall and bemoans the fact that in this country she is permitted to smoke in only one hotel “T want to ait down to my own ta- ble, in a house which bas @ barn and a chicken coop, and cows, and horses, and dogs, and plenty of children running about, with ther mouths covered with the pre stains é which proclaim that ey have visited a w » o i the aan iid berry patch “I want to eat the old-fashioned Tooda, cooked without Freach auce And I would lke to on old-fashioned neighbors. + ag who used to come in when one of the children was sick and bring a | dish of chicken broth or sruel, who sat up with you all night when you THE VITAL PROBLEM “What do you think is the real,| most vital problem of the race? To pick the win-| tin ARERR eee IN DEEP WATER . when he proposed. from her end of the craft and “As & matter of common in this boat on a body of wa- that {f you were to act as you we would be capsized decline your pro moment—but—! to the shor you can and ask me Chicago Post SESE EEE ERE EER EEE SERRE ERE EE ERE EEE eee eee eee eee I think the next lecture | shall give will be on Keats. “Oh, professor, what are keats?” —Sketch, London. were mourning your dead, who sent ‘fashioned ideals, the oldftashioned virtues, the old- en the old- Oh, why won't “IT want to be made love to and Ned to,” she told The Star man, “I want to be told that my eyes are the brightest, my lips the reddest, and that I am ‘I have grown very tired of all these equal rights and single want the old-fashioned feminine children, or as you are sterile, you! garden, | * AT THE METROPOLITAN «& * & towering wedding cake when |Your oldest daughter was married.” phihih a 2 et | * | * * AT THE ORPHEUM * * Mh ee ee ee The Orpheum's ebief ault this Week seers to He tn the fact that it leaves the audience to sele-t the | headliner, and audience don't like to work at vaudeville perform j@nces, There ts little to chocse be- jtween the Mountein Ash Male | Choir, which scored tremendously j@t last nights’ performarce, and Kremka Brothers, acrobats of the highest order, who open the bill, and the s can be said of the rest of the acts. The choir, com- posed of 18 Welsh singers, manipu- lates its voices with the p:ecision of an organ. Their selections, | Vary from the classica] to the most popular pieces, earned for Leslie, the king of slang, lived up to his reputation, and avsisted by Gertrude DeMont, E. J. Brady and Sam Wilson, furnished the real comedy for the bill, Miss “Mike” Berkin can make Ss as well as them instantaneous applause. Bert | “I WANT TO BE LOVED AND LIED TO, IN THE WAY ALL LOVE want to be an oldfashioned RS LIE,” SAYS BLANCHE a BLANCHE BATES fiddle up. Tom Waters planologued. Slerno ts a good juggler [SERENE EE EEE REN EY other b } * AT THE EMPRESS * * * ee The Empress has scored again The show tast night plessed a crowded house. They call their headliner the Hight Dollar troupe but their act last night, with it jnovel and difficult acrobatic feats, he talks to a wom.jlooked like « thousand dollars. The Monarch comedy four divided honors with the Dollars. Ted Gib- son and company present a tabloid comedy that {s full of pepper and well worked out. Al Brown and Gertie Moulton, well known In Se attle, made a hit with their sing- ing, dancing and ragtime piano playing. Mary Dorr ts on the pro- gram as “a clever caricaturist, with a pretty voice.” Her imita- tions were delightfully funny. Grassi brothers are acrobatic in- strumentalists. ERE ERR RE AREERERE a ** * * SER ERERET ERE RE ER As “Nobody's Widow,” at the Metropolitan theatre last night, Blanche Bates was so alluring that no sensible man in the audience blamed the defunct husband for coming back to life and berinning his wooing of her all over again. And Bruce McRae, as the English duke, was an amiable, but persist jent lover, The charm of the play lies in its repartee. Every other word exchanged by the fictitious widow and her husband is double- |* AT THE PANTAGES _ { & 7 Jedged. They “played the |like sportemen, each receiving jingly the rapler thrnsts of The audience last night Weed play so well that after the act, when Miss Bates had & pretty curtain speech fn edgement of two enermoms |quets, dozens of men stood literally bombarded her with It was a pretty racy nd the actress was So urprised by it that she could ‘give expression of her thanks) dumb show, * FREE ee REE SERRE ERE REEE The bill at the P es week is above ordinary, with “The Great Tallman,” plon fancy fool player. Hi a hit from start to finish. Canto Trio” contribute “so ancing, with a little clever om -dy thrown in. “The Musieal Ga don Highlanders,” real 8 ving, play and dance. And without an effort. “Charlle the hoosier boy,” has some od jokes for the andience, i couple of good songs throws) “The Caro Miller Family,” naga pourri of songs and dances, pres 4 pretty and entertaining act, Mi flynn is the star of the family, ae senting an unique act for Taam ville in her clever toe . # Some philosophers express cern over Vincent Astor's tune in suddenly inheriting 000. But most of ‘em are for a little piece of the same bad luck. character can possibly be done. Fillings sai Best $8 Gold Crowns . - «$4.00 I work without pay after that I do not drink, smoke, gamble, loaf, guess or sleep el've never asked for a vacation, never had one, never expect Oa I do my work accurately and willingly—24 hours each day, if 7% ask it. I eat up ten clerks’ work I'll guarantee, when I make your trial balance, or your sales ports, or your pay roll, or your bank statement, it's right. No matter how peculiar or different the conditions and ments of your business, I'll work into a life job if you'll give @® a trial. I'll save dollars in any department of your business. » sands of the biggest concerns America, where I'm working today, My name is THE COMPTOGRAPH 1 can furnish as references tt The Steel Brai THE COMPTOGRAPH COMPANY Sales ¢ CRARY BUILDING Telephone Main 8670. Ask them how I can prove my value in YOUR particulat business without a penny’s expense to you. EVERYBODY LIMES OUR DENTAL W Because—It's pleesing—only first-class materials are used—all is done quickly—with less pain—every Dentist on our staff has years of experience—every Dentist is most careful and efficient his work—therefore when Ohio Dentists do your work you get very best work at the lowest Cut-Rate Prices for which work of 50c | Second Ave. and University. Opposite Stone-Fisher Co Entrance 207 University St. I pay my own salary the first year, $8 Bridge Work . $10.00 Teeth . . $15.00 Set of Teeth without a murmur. n of Business Miices