The Seattle Star Newspaper, April 20, 1912, Page 4

4. THE MEM OF 1 Only & te pap Press Asaoctat Entered at SEATTLE STAR Y ® having full leased wire Seattle, Fabiikied Datly by The Star Publivkiog ¢ Bub s to The Beattie Star @ffice wt once of any failure ¢ any attempt to su laay matter " a TE EL Exchange Mata p40 Was at of elty yea pt attention, If your arrive any phone this office c x Main 9400, Ask for the Circulation Department Job's bitter jibe comes hore to us now. ‘ere After 30 centuries its sarcasm is as pat and incisive as it was when Job flung it in the teeth of his smug com- forters. ‘ : It has been but a matter of days since Capt. Smith, the veteran admiral of the White Star fleet, said: “I cannot conceive any vital disaster happening to this vessel. Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond t. Smith lies 2,000 fathoms deep in|°"),, And now Cap ms de the cold waters of the north Atlantic and with on the oe hulk of the t ship of which he spoke these That aioe skill and cunning, the last cry in marine architecture, the steamer with both tur- es and reciprocating engines and with saf ing bulkheads that close automatically to make her abso- lutely unsinkable—well, she is now where none but the strange blind creatures that dwell in the deep sea of two miles down can ever report her. And somewhere in the north oy Sone floats a bot- tle-green berg—a random fragment from some name-|- less northern glacier—that has brought to naught this! marvel of human fabrication—that has made our boasts, vain and void in the twinkling of an eye. 2 Every human expedient failed. Even the wireless, | our crowning life-saving device, could not save the “un- sinkable” Titanic. Everything failed. Everything but the blind, blun- dering iceberg. Which goes to show how childish we are in our boasts when we say we have bridled the sea. We may indeed boast with a little justice that we have con-| quered the wave and can now defy old Ocean’s storm, | but we reckon like children when we forget her fleet— | her blind, careless navy that sweeps down each spring, upon our ocean lanes. Now that fleet has wrecked the pride of the fleet! of man, perhaps just to remind us that we are not quite THE people yet, and that wisdom may not die with us after all. She Paw Cnet Dayton, Obie, in n simplicity of dress among the pupils as long as po: The t ted a special high school for students just out of the ~ar grades. The young’ ~ don’t see the more dressed-up older students and “develop morc] aauntie maturally,” says the federal bureau of education There are two things which the federal bureau forgets.| First that little Miss Young America contracts the frilly clothes habit long before she leaves the ¢ ar grades. Second, the} bureau hasn't said a word regarding the influence upon the chil dren of the garb affected by the grown-up folks. How is the federal bureau going to cour et ions left upon} the malleable minds of the children by the who wear willow plumes down shopping, with low pa Satin petticoats, hand-embroidered lingerie, peckaboo waists af! sorts of folderols? A nation-wi women might be : Ide the ¢ 1 picture guide. Th | Pyrami am Mrs. able Mre. mothers ps, silk stockings,| and} row rage farmer can to the baak and| do better ¢ campaign on the beau iple clothes for an effective way of working with the children In the United States the only way the ave get a loan to help him in his business is to is hh The rm associations ¢ € more and be join their 3 to 4% per | t believe in new k means of an association row at T'won't work,” doesr Ah, but billi it does work! rs have me as t s talks foterestins id THE giraffe is ; rT hima hat ha with hat throa rr a politician it Mrs. 1 drinks! ; ja blind |awful? “SOCIALISTIC Cleveland busts her fish trust by establish-| ing city wharves for the public sale of fish. Fish will be 3 to 5 instead of 12 to 15 cents per pound. WHALE'S Ther Mir kir af "RAH termined cuit more viping out cir-| by 10 years| jAtianti The ta MRS. CHUR Say mien. mab crook « iner on CH, « : sense afit ts AS TI people can nen bank exam- “lof us i imagin: of this OUR express the silent sympathy Our feel | though transpire th rned | THE | Puget throw bricks at| bor as this every time| vious Chit am moved ation. € mar white hoodlum to mention somebody brags to me of civ ‘The stranger who stops me . and i may be chump enough does not intend to impose n the street give him upon me there's » claim on me} time, bat if he| done. may have some of my no harm It by Mfetim the chance some one “puts something with it, it lifetime. . who keep @ str are those who laugh « over on n that Is no|dock might 1 sure about} be w earth's FOR mo ple ever licegse to taunt me nse, but not abs Such a one ¢ There are those others, and there jeht face d have at a de THE ONLY WAY OUT First Millionaire (looking all my money Second Ditio—What for? First Millionaire—-1 can't stand the Morus girls and indicted by the governmen the misfortunes of nt put in it wi nervously about)—I'm going to give DRA by|to stir jut it rain of Satire. being shot at our family are opposed to you. sahles tion meant when you are looking for trouble. CLARENce WAS AN AWFUL JOKER, SOME PEOPLE REALLY CALLED Him THE CUTUP. HE AWAKENE INTHE MIDOLE OF TWE NIGHT ONE TIME AND PULLED THIS ONE," CAN A MAN WHO 1S DEAF BE GIVEN HIS HEARING IN A POLIC WHY clarence! » the tourfets started for the neighbe them move tn New York Sun {that a man in Italy sold his wife to! Henpeck be ashi # GARVIN’S CORNER THE | appalling tional bank, | tion has bee jimagine this awful tragedy ation to r Sound will be as busy @ har. ver |lions will |through our city and the gigantic filled v covering three-fourths of the and more than safety of human life so many THE STAR—SATURDAY, APRIL 20, 1912. { C, wd “Yas, my trip to Burope Wwas| “Has your son brought back mipletely spoiled at the very last,| business methods from London nt you know! | “Oh, yes. He thinks we ought to How was that?’ serve toa afternoons and that all ‘One of the labels the stenographers ought to be wultease and got lost blondes.” 1 cannot marry you. But if you are not I beg your pardon family Tm me, off my _WHAT IT WAS & great deal of personal magneti«m.” netivn 8 lo pomne “That jen't personal “What do you call ¥? Merely a willingness to have the walter hand him all the checks.” Chicago Record-Herald REVENGE IS SWEET “The drinks is on me,” said the little man with the greasy vest I'm feelin’ good and 1 don't care what happens.” “Whatamatter?” said the barkeep, “Birthday? No, plied the Iittle man. “I took my wife down the ‘river ta the Eeho Recks, and she's so durn mad she's speechiess. For the first time in her Ife she didn’t get the last word, Here's to the echo.” Cincinnati Enquirer PA KNOWS Paw, what does disere Picking out a small man nnati Enquirer A VACUUM : Chairman (addressing a meoting)—1_ am sure we will be very sorry our secretary in not here tonight 1 cannot say we miss v cant chair, but I do say we mise ‘in vacant face,”-—TILBits, A GOOD REASON But why do you advertise that you want to sell this car because you are going to leave the city? You know that ian't so.” You, it is. If I ever sell this car for what | ask for it I'll have to leave the city."—-Detrolt Free Prem . LITTLE BY LITTLE Crimson Rambler—Taken off yer winter underwear yet, BIN? Backdoor Hill—Partly! [ took off a door-mat yesterday, but I'm still weartag two yard o' rag-carpet'~- Puck. ANTIQUATED DEVICE. ‘The First Burglar (contemplating father's invention) the bioomin’ burglar.alarm? ‘The Second Burglar May as well pot it in the bag; we can get some thin’ for the bells, p'raps.—-London Sketeb PRACTICAL GIRL Her Father—Can you support my daughter in the styid to which she has been accustomed? Sultor—No, sir; but she says she can accustom herself te tm which | can support her-—-Boston Transcript AN ANCIENT GAG “Did you hear about Pickersgi! at the Gourmet's bangtet?” “No; what waa ft?” Why, he got up an@ stuttered and sald he wanted to rpopose a host to the toast and toastess, Ha, ha, ha! Good gracious, man, I've beard him say that twe one of hia oldest gaga.”—Civeland Plain Dealer Y DONE man bite the dost.” ir maid to sweep the pavement some T'—Haltimore American. ‘Wot ababt € courT* the style A Battle at Tripoli ne is laid in Tripoli, &@ battle! & battle, Who fa that ob who Is cheering on batants nk be con works for ern,” explain ov lng the I'd lke to make that/ “Then why don't you morning whea he's comi AC Grouch —Women Pittsburg Post. Neighbors ker— Are * Hocker :OUS RETORT inly bave a mania for Ky they desir. Mr getting cheap things. Miss Gall—-1 suppose Baltiinore American A HOT ONE. No, I haven't seen anything f cam bor why your wife came to marry you— HIS CHANCE, THE DECLINE OF TRAGEDY. What became tragedian ? He has gone into maying | tures.” Posing?” “No; taking tickets.” Henpeck—Thig paper states! of your friend, the Prof nature Miss jart Rore pie I er-er Caustique man for 20 cents. Isn't that} I, er-ertive close to Yes. Anyone ought to And I admire amed to stick a blind man. j THE GROUCH’S POINT OF VIEW “A holiday pow and then fs very desirable,” said the genial citizen. It gives us all a chance to rest.” 1 can't seo it that way,” replied Mr. Growcher, “It compels me to work that much harder to provide THE TITANIC DISASTER jthe clothes demanded for the spe jelal display.”—Washington Even ing Star. A PLATO! BY HIS LOGIC “What will the woman of tomor- row be?” sighed the pensive per son BY REV. JOSEPH L. GARVIN, B. D, M, A. Pastor of the First Christian Church, Seattle. WORLD SORROWS. The}curse of speed be now removed. It disaster on the broad|has brought calamity on land and almost unbelievable.| horror upon the sea, Greed and st word on marine constr speed «pel! the story of the Titanic. spoken. How terrible] TAKING THE GAMBLER’S chance must stop when human lived | gon, are the When will the laws! “Oh, year or two younger than |have moral force? Every boat! gne is today,” replied the one who those & the Seattle docks Ce |had reasoned such things out.—Cht- d no/forth should be eritienlly and con-|rago Record-Herald the meaning/|scientiously inspected There should I MFFICULT as it may be for living in the interior ake. to n the seaport towns n alize engulfment FLAGS AT HALF MAST we all) for all minds are filled with ts of what might some day on the great Pacific lessons of this hour LIFEBOATS with capacity Drills and every known and tried safety appliance in daily serv lee. When the time comes for this city to stand the brunt of some un expected catastrophe let it be sald that THE WISDOM OF MEN was not at fault. But through the mist of this universal sorrow shine beautt ful heroisma which make the |hearts beat faster with whrm" ad jmiration, That men and women can die like men and Women We have ALWAYS KNOWN, ‘liat they go eagerly | not forgotten how to die if re-| truth, Out in the deep un are TIME 18 COMING when that of New York or London cific liners will plow their the mighty watere with quency and reliability of the nds of the TERN SEA, Thousands, mil come and orchestra, band? Among the Chinese highbinde: : sleeps thé costly ‘Titanic. |d0 the hatchetmen perform battle Silence has draped a mantle over |acte? (If you don't get this one at the sad, sad seenes, But ever will|first, read it over several times.) the menwWry of the unselfish 1 aca! ACTIONS IN THAT HOR of} Will a sparrow cop make a good |death liv Let our sympathy be | birdman? manifes in as noble a way" by| unselfish public spirited setvica; — | py loa Incubators $8.00-—The Idéal. Butit for this climate. Sixty-egg $8.00. | | Other sizes In proportion, | Bold by | to | the Chas. H. Lilly Co., Footof Main | St., Seattle, eae will swarm with people and with merchandise, With surface and facilities TRAVELING — becoming al ‘Me, more peo- N “go forth in ships” than Nothing is more important It takes a Nhe If a clam is stless, will an oyster ft lives under MAMO CIRCUMSTANCES the conscience of the world is aroused at last. May the sueh o- In the Dark Ages did they have send their children to a knight school? LESTER, VENTRILOQUIST, WILL SHOW > + FIVE DAY, | YOU HOW TO GET RICH IN He Calls His Game Simple and Easy, and Guarantees That You Can Do the Same Thing With a Few Days’ Practice. Read! in colloquiem; guaran- we in five days. from $300 to with every af Kany! “Lewson: teed to get you sauce I make where $400 & week a wo Why can't you few hours of practice jternoon and evening? This is not a Want Ad appearing in the Sunday supplement of a Sun day newspaper, but the words and music of L the Great Ventril oquist, in explaining to a Star re- porter just how simple it was to make the Orpheumese crowd be Heve that a dummy has a ‘real mouth and a real sense of feeling, touch and hearing Lester wan standing before the mirror of his dressing room way down in the secret dungeons of the Orpheum theatre yesterday, His Mps moved not as he spoke words through therm, and as he modulat ed his tone from a high to a low pitch in telling of the intricacies of throwing the votce “Wonderful!” spoke up an actor friend of Le who had come tn with his wife to pay a friendly visit “Wonderful, eh?” And the little party in the little dressing room started at the little bit of a noise from the corner; for who could have been there? It was little Frank Byron, the mache attachment of the act, who had butted in on the conversation. Bay, if it waan't r me that fel- low couldn't produce the act. He merely pulls the strings; I do the work Shut your face, you little runt, shut up; don't you know when you've said enough?” “Yes, durn you; but when | quit you pull those durn strings, and V've got to say something to keep the crowd from believing I'm a rummy, y, 'm IT in this show. The people look at me, not you: they laugh at what I say, not what you say; you don't say anything; | do ail the saying. Didn't you no- tice that woman laughing yester- day? She was laughing at me, not you. And did you notice when | shouted to her: ‘Woman, I'l! get you yet!’ how quickly she shut up?” And, with the dropping of the trigger behind the little back of ] 1 | SOCOCCEHOOOSOD Can You Draw Your School? tf #0, You've a Chance for This Week's Prize—a Novel idea of Circle Member A contest sugested by one of the Circle members in the recent “Sug will be next The contest is a nov- gestion Contest week's race. @1 one and should draw an abun- jdance of letters. its another artists’ contest. Two prizes will be offered for the best drawings of jyour school house The best pen sketch received will be worth $1.00, jand the next best will call for 60 cents, On the Q. T., Uncle Jack ex pects nifty drawings from those who love their school work, and from the cynical Circlettes, who abbor the educational inatitutions, a drawing of a prison. We hope not. Please attach the name of the school to r sketches, and be sure that your drawing has some resemblance to YOUR school. Use jet black ink HONOR ROLL Violet Johnson. Alvin Bjornson, Robert Cas Willard Atherly Esther Anicich. Rita Mey Dear Uncle I have t Circle for interest, put my na many nieces My “granny Ja small farm of and have no j sisters. | We have 2 a little calf, 4 | ge and about 30 chickens. My jonly playmates at home are my two kittens (Sambo and Mingo) and some pet chickens. I go to school ¢ In the 7th grade Your affectionate MARI reading time, at ask you to please in the list of your and nephews. and I live alone on i% acres, Iam 14 brothers or & parents cow y day and am Dear Uncle Jack We have The our home every night look at the “Star Cirele very much interested in it longed to be a member, so please Uncle Jack, put me down as a mem ber, I Star delivered at I always as Tam TACT IN GARDENING Going to make another garden? asked the inquisitive neighbor Yes,” replied Mr. Crosslots “But I thought last year's experi ment in that line discouraged you.” Thad to be diplomatic. I couldn't afford to. brag and have everybody within half a mile borrowing my garden tools and expecting me te furnish ‘em with fresh v able Washington Evening ar Where He Learned to Draw. She (in art museum)—They say that famo marine artist was once a plain farmer's boy. I wonder where he developed his talent He—Probably drawing water on the farm.—St. Louls Post-Dis- patoh, Dance at Dreamland tonight. th SHHSSHHHSSHOSOSOOHO SSH SOSH OOOO OOOSG © SOSSHOCHSSSOOOOOOM I have} | Lester, the Great, Who Is Pleasing *Zm at the Orpheum, . Chief Assistant, Frank Byron ant bs the mirror in bis home ia ¢ and began the practice of quism. Colloquism is the throwing the volee to make it pear that a dummy ty talking ¥q triloquiem is the art of sorts of tricks with the voles, Ag Lester has quite a variety, in days, yi teach you to throw the eae a as well as 1.” be said at the of the interview, “Want to first lesson? a But supper was near Lester's offer went begging OO OOOHOOOOD FOR BOYS FOR GIRLS THE STAR CIR EDITED BY UNCLE JACK SOOO H HSH OHOHOOEHO OOOH OHOOOD Oy ttle Jack Byron, the little papler mache doll, the little make-believe lcomedian crumpled in a mass in the corner and once more assumed the role of a wooden object, and Lester, The Great, whose real name is Czajkkowski, came into his own. Before Lester began his career as perience in circuses, stock company shows, and finally chose the art of balloon jumping from the skies un- til the atmospherical changes of the air were too many for him to diag- nose, and he decided to quit. | Five years ago he stood before PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY eTells Woful Tale in Uses Novel Sel v4 Poem and Gets ’em @ FISHING There is a small ereek “The happiest part of the y long a road, and Twas going come, stream ‘with my father, Fishing season, yum, yum, yum! | brought along my hookaind line, First | go to the old fishing pool, did not bring amy baif, The fish said nothing but April have any idea where I fool. jsome. At last | went up ia by bouse and asked a man itt use his spade, and he I then dug enough into my fll a can T had. W pouch. to the creek there was’ | Then there into the old shady ‘he fish to swarm in 4 epring, got an idea, I There swims a trout, a horrible Over the water, which big thing. shady place. 1 watted \minutes and then east ia 1 |! see you with your fins galore, (15 mountain trout. Wagging your tail like you never| did before. | Are you hungry, and where is your | mate? I never said nothing, but dropped In my bait. 1 say, “Wait a minute the hiten : trout, You're @liable to get ca | Pretty soon he bit like a dog, | | give a jerk and fell back on a log. Then in a minute | was back on the | job, | Didn't see nothing but a polly: | wog. |Now my labor was very soon done | picked up my tackle and | never | caught a one. | | turned to my partner, and he said: | “We're going to reach the Black | Jack creek, but we will all be dead.” | NELS LARSEN. | Port urchard, Wash. | Dear Uncle Jack: We have been on taking The Star for two years, and | point of the forefinger of the lam very much interested in your pand. Then with a sharp mite Circle. I like The Star better than |the finger and thumb of te : cs Place a small coin on 1 and poise the card 7 C1 any other paper. . zainst t of the | I would like very much to join na ee | I ve on a farm five miles from | forefinger. town, and go to a country school $$$ |T am 12 years old, and in the fifith | : Ask Your Doctor | We have 42 horses and 15 |We have had seventy L | ., Mtl Vernon, Wasn, | Ofexperience with AT THE THEATRES | 8teat confidenceinitfor THIS WEEK. colds, bronchitis, weale thea and weak lungs. Ask youro™ Moore—"Madame X.” of Heas Sunnybrook Farm.” had with it. He knows. Seattle—Shirley Siock Co. in | wisely. and the Prince.” advise yeu “5 touch with him. your Star Circle club. leave the coin balanced on your | grade. My father has 280 acres of land | | Pectoral. That makes: re Metropolit Rebecea jdoctor what experience he ht Stock ( ‘0. in nandoah.” —Vaudeville. udeville. udeville Melbourne — Photoplays vaudeville. Grand—vnudeville and pictures, Clemmer vaudeville. and motion and Photoplays On An Outing All camp cooking is made appetizing and digestible with LEA & PERRINS) SAUCE INAL WORCEBTERSHIAE | for your Kitehens and Ball Rooms. — Nelle & Engelbrecht Main 779. 1629 Fourth THE oF % Fish, Game, Stews, Steaks, x01 all outing dishes linproved by its use. An Appetizer oun Duncan's Sons, Agents, N.Y teres asco