The Seattle Star Newspaper, April 8, 1912, Page 4

4 STAR 00 E SEAT iT leaned wire news service of the United Assoctattoms, tered at Beattie, Wash Thy, Ske par me ure prompt and regula ute another er for of the management to secure the beat service for given courteous and prompt attention. If your aber fails to arrive any ight by 6 o'clock, ly phe Bice Main $400” Ask for the Circulation’ Department aes “Phe time is rapidly approaching when the wealthy will face mob violence on the streets, This situation will be due to the fast approaching day when working people will be deprived of m of subsistence. Every day the position of the work ing ¢ s becoming worse.’ Is this the utterance of an anarchist? , this is the reported words of Dr, Harvey W. Wiley, the man who ha tried hard for many years to save the millions of America from food poisoners of the nation Judge BE. H. Gary,” Dr is done to alleviate the present is bound to come an simply the inco Wiley, “that unless ‘something condit mrest in the na nob rule The sen rence comes from over-capitalizing great industr less | graph syster defrauding the people ated hly with said m ment of abhc the promotion of worth lephone and tele he selling of watered stock hemes, the extortions of express, and dozens of other schemes for deceiving and SEC’Y MEYER complains that likely the U.S. will be the only important naval power in the world to not lay down a single battleship this year. But, G dear, th other powers haven't got the job of laying down Bill Taft on their hands this year ST. BASIL’S cathedral, at Moscow, one of the wonders of the world, is badly cracked and likely to fall. Morgan might buy it and brit NEARLY 13,000 divorces in Chicago in five years. | Controlling "Em | ndard Oil Tobacco: Dissolved much alfalfa in it as ever Packer Acquitted, Pork and Jard up! Sug Jury disagreed. Sugar up! Have we anti-trust laws? We have, 20-year-o! Any trust magnates jailed? No. What has “controlling the trusts sands Who pays? St Dissolved. Oil up! Stock as high as ever and just as ' barons : nes. Hundreds of thou cost Wed NATIONAL mopetary commission went out of existence April Ist. It laid one egg—Aldrich’s association wherein it reminds us of a beautiful $5 Rhode Island Orpington Wyandotte Barred Rock Leghorn hen a down cast fancier has just sold reserve us. IN proportion to population than any other state having divorce laws New York's richest men in 1815—four aver aged $200,000. By 1855 there were millionaires, of whom Wilbam B. Astor was richest. He was “worth" $6,000,000, and considered a wonder. My, my, how the multi-nillionaires of today must have toiled ane pinched and saved to lay by wealth so far surpassing that of the richest of 1815, or even 1855! They must get up early, work mighty late, and never spend a cent for pleasure! Minnesota has fewer divorces in number ~ DR. SARAH McNUTT, English physician, thinks that, in her evolution, woman now fights wherein she used to weep over her troubles. But, Sarah, what of the women who both weep and fight? That's the terrible kind ARIZONA'S and New Mexico's new U. S. senators are all lawyers. Sce how we get laws that won't hold water, don't you? [Needs a Nurse } Atlee Pomerene, democrat and junior United States sen- ator from. if not for, Ohio, says he voted for seating Grandpa Stephenson because grandpa was an old man, with many busi ness cares, and probably was unaware that the $107,000 was being spent to elect him Some day we shall hear of Atlee buying a gold brick, or blowing into the muzzle of one of those “unloaded’ being run over by a cow guns, or SIX THOUSAND tons of potatoes arrived in New York from London in one day last week. Wish that Shanks of Indian apolis had the fixing of the prices on those spuds EL HERALDO, Me reasor publicat I bloodhor All in, as ico City newspaper, has ditors in jail, business managers just ahead of the and the printers’ devil has had time to take a bath were Observations NET that it vesuit of all investigations « up all the time. ° IN PRAGUE, Boheria, picture crimes are exhibited in motion pict ° WHEN your “stomach aches We feel hunger only in the gullet, ° OVER in Hungary a theatre front rows and tall ones in bach little cost of living thus far made {s o oOo of persons wanted © shows. ° because you're hungry ys Italian physician. °° Oo manager ma How about Mr for various you're not. short patrons sit in ° “INVISIBLE” airship, to be of surroundings and jected oo polished like be totally mirror, which will take invisible ° on color ground, is o got a new hunch isn't rain or warmer o 6 to the reason things grow better weather, but just sot! microbes THEY'VE in spring. tt which inherit from their thousand-billionth great-grandfathers the dis-| position to get busy in springtime LONG-DISTANCE telephoning banquet in Chicago listened to an Hadiecy at his home in New Haven NO DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, GAS o oO progres hour's sper 1,600 e% o Yale bh made y alumni at a President by miles aw strong | gnoring President Madero’s permission to resume} Very Long and bis| above | OR ANY OTHER STOMACH DISTRESS Nothing will remain undigested or sour on your stomach if you witl take a little Diapepsin oceasionally. This powerful digestive and 14, though as harmless and p! ag candy, will digest and pr for as#imilation into the blood all the food you can eat. Eat what your stomach craves, without the slightest fear of Indi gestion or that you will be bothered with sour risin selehing, Gas on Stomach, | Headaches from stomach, Nausea, Bad Bre: feeling like ed a lump of lead, or disagreeable miseries. Should you be suffering now from any stomach disorder you can get relief within five minutes, If you will get from your phar-! e less nig macist a G0-cent case Diap@®sin. you could always go to the table with a hearty appetite, and your meals would taste good, because you would know there would be no Indigestion or Sleep his or Headache or Stom ach misery all the next day; and, besides, you would not need tax- atives or liver pills to keep your stomach and bowels clean and fresh Pape's Diapepsin can b from your druggist, and of Pape's obtained contains , More than sufficient to thoroughly eure the worst case of Indigestion or Dyspepsia, There is nothing better for Gas on the Stomach or sour odors from the stomach or to cure a Stomach Headache You couldn't keep a handler or more useful article in the house. THE STAR—MONDAY, APRIL THEY LIBEL HIM, Mins Speed rested for scorching? Mr, Swift believe those people who are” culating stories around ube 1 wasn't. THE USUAL DEFENSE NOW. Phere is no use giving you a My bank account Were you ev in w it to me anyway, Certainly, | was. Will, And, say, make it for $500 1 want to pull ft out of my shopping bag with my handkerchief at the bridge game this afternoon. COULDN'T HAVE. os | He's a nature faker,” “Murder will out.” ‘How so? “I he heard him say had a frog in his throat” “It it does, you can plead naan ity.” that he RIGHT NAME The Doctor—I see there has been some discussion as to whether it should be a Norwegian or an English flag that fUes from the South Pote. The Professor—The honor belongs to neither, It should be Polish Chicago Tribune AN OLD TIMER By the way, I met a young Indy from your state last summer—@ Miss Balmer. Daughter of old Balmer, the undertaker? Shouldn't wonder. She told me ber father was a Southern planter.”—Rosten Transcript : leek eee hee * ie * Russell, Beeeeeene 4U8T TO LOOK AT? Kissing spoils the shape of the mouth, says Lilia and adds: “If you want a pretty mouth, don't do it.” Of what use, then, is a pretty mouth? You can eat with any ® old kind. * * Fee ee ee ee | HOW IT HAPPENED | A friend once asked “Uncle Joe” Cannon for information as prospects of a politician who was at that time geuerally ‘on the ragged edge.” “He seems to think he's getting on all right,” sald Uncle others entertain a decidediy different opinion. His situation to mind the story of the old lady up in Maine. When she was as to the whereabouts of her husband the dame lod: i “If the toe fs as thick as Henry thinks it Is, be is skating; if is as |thiv aa I think it fs, he is awimming. —Lippincott’s, OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT TRUE SAY EVERETT, How THE DICKENS DO YOU ore. —— 4¢ | THATS THE TWENTIETH TIME ToorY. NOW LOOK IT Up 1" | an early call, eeeee This thing of poking me in the ribs while telling mo a funny story doesn't help much. In fact it interrupts the narrator so he isn't able to finish When a@ person comes to me and says, “Say, here's something you want,” I don’t want it, f eee ce ee A sidewalk ®aseball game is no respecter of pedostri am a pedestrian I am no respecter of “ee ns, and when sidewalk baseball games . Whenever I see a masher win{ng at a woman I know I am! going to make that eye stay closed. see Soft words butter no parsnips, but I prefer my parsnips plait, Mr. Pester—We onght to serateb all the objectionable candidates be cause We can't soratch them after they're elected Mrs, Poster-—Coulda’t we serateh them if we had a recall clause in our constitution? BOUND TO RISE. “Rowell ts a rising young man.” “Yes, | heard that he has bought an airship. “I hear your friend is abstemious in his habits,” such a thing. He's teetotal.” Baltimore American. They Sure Do Teacher—Arehibald, what plants Nourish in execssive heat? Archibald-—tce plants. —Judge. Polly (mach hurt)—Why, Jack, don’t you speak to your old friends? Jack-—Awtully sorry, but how am 1 going to tell who you are, when I can't see your face? Polly--Can't you figure it out ?— Judge. b Faaelh didn dh thn taucl Mg * Children Barred. * “Why don't you tet your tit- ® tle brother play house with ® you, Bthelt * “We not playing house, * mamma” * “What * then, * “We're playing fist, and *® they don't let any children in ® this flat, mamma.”—St. Louls ®% Post-Dispatch. RARER ah are you playing, SPCC ESSE ES OK Marie Tempest’s Nose At a Lenten musicale at the Wal dort-Astoria a young matron relat ed a bonmot of Marie Tempest's., “Miss Tempest’s nose is frightful ly pug, isn’t it?’ ahe began. “Well, I met her at a tea e and she joked about her nose as if it had belonged to someone eise. “When the Creator,’ she said, ‘was looking for a nose for me he took, you see, the first one that turned. up. "Minneapolis Journal Getting Flood News A district goods manager, want- ing details of the floods which had caused havoc on & part of the line, telegraphed to the station master at one of the stations where no flooding had taken place at all: nd cull particulars of the flood The station master, taking the in. quiry as a joke, wired back: “You will find them in the Book ot Genesis.” Tit-Bits, THE WOCKSHOP AND ® “To [PAWN Art (DEA. SHOUT IT WAS THE SToRE! Re DEMAND; WeLL,-WouLD THe CZAR OF RUSSIA BR IN FoR) AGooD LICKING IF THEY PUT His PORTRAIT ON THE POSTAGE STAMPS? You owe ma raonny! “Humph,” Says Pretty and Intellectual Lulu. She Was Remarking on “Humpht” ‘The remark wae Lulu Giaser’s, It was indicative of contumely and contempt, The object of Mina Gin ners contumely and contempt wan Man “Why am 1 4 suffragette?” de manded Miss Glaser at the Metro: politan theatre yenterday, “Humph! Therefore “Humph!" ie the apewer, Mise Glaser had « husband not | tone agos Sbe in singe no His name is Ralph Hers, he i# a come | diah, and there is a pretty romance Jabout their courtship, She was | playing “Dolly Varden.” In the |play Here had to . make love to | Dolly. He made tt very prettily, |And at one performance he made | tt very earnestly, right on top of |the stage, and Miss Glaser accepted him on the same spot, and they were married in The Lite Church | Around the Corner, at New York | The decision to get married was unanimous, The decision to get a divorce, they say, was equally #0, Humph! | °On my place In Mount Vernon,” said Miss Glaser, “I have a man working for me, He can’t read or write, He hasn't the first idea of the theory of government “He's got a vote, |, who own the place and pay the taxes—and bis wages—haven't.” Miss Glaser aske why thie ts thus, and adds that she would be as militant as the best of ‘em if she wasn't so busy pretending she is “Miss Dudelsack” six nights # week and two matiness certainly would things,” said Mi a glint in her ey Please’? if we ask for what is ob- viously our right, and don’t get it, must we bow meekly to the Will of Mant Not so! We ask pretti- ly and are denied, We ask vigir- ously and are again denied. We jemash. “"Uniadylike’? Say jand I'll chuck you out aphere’? 1 see red when I bear that hackneyed phrase. Watch me closely.” it was in the dressing room, be- tween acts. Miss Glaser picked up a pair of kaitting needies which she had Iaid acide to greet the in- terviewer. Clickety-click! went the needles “Am | tadylike?” she demanded. Have | the domestici- smash with a ui knitting doities. reason why | should be denied the right to vote? ts it?” Reeth *~ * *# RED-HEADED WOODPECKER & * MARION, Ind, April &—A ® ® jury In the Grand cireult court bold that if man calle « wor an “a redheaded woodpecke uhe must not become provoked to the extent of striking him with a broomatick. ‘The decision was called for in the case wherein Mrs. Es telle Lang of Gas City was charged with assault and bat- tery on Harvey Buzbee. Mra. Lang recetved a minimum fine of $1 She testified that as Bushee rode past ber on a bicycle he called her « “red-headed wood- pecker,” referring to her au burn hair, whereupon she struck him with a broom handle. CPPS REEEEEEEED eeteeeereeeeee ee eeee Seheeeeeeeteeeeeted Silas, Sr—What are you doin’? Silas, Jr.—Holn’ the garden, pa, like you told me to. been watching i this year, Thud. THUD—Have m? I've wonder. ed what was queering me. Don't do it again SLAP-—Evidently you suffer from Stage fright when your friends are present THUD—No, you 1 don't suffer from jit, I suffer with it. But the day you broke your leg and stayed away from the park I handled ten chances with only one ror. SLAP—Better luck next time, old fellow. THUD—Thanks break both legs SLAP—They've shifted third base, I notice. | THUD-—1 used to let fouls scratch up all the flower seeds in center warden. SLAP—Is it true about your hav- jug a rundp with the umpire? THUD—Yes, it is. The umpire icharged that I didn’t know a bi jhit from a base drum. I'm better educated than that. I used to go to college. | SLAP—And at college you were ® member of the ball club? | THUD—No, | was a member of the mandolin club, Well, on word I hope you you to me hitting the umpire, It caused an awful fiproar but the crowd was with me. SLAP. pire, eh? THUD me, A SLAP—But you sald the crewd was with you! THUD—RBxactly up with me, She—The women, young and old, must now send out a ringing cry, He—Oh, the young and pretty ones can get rings without crying for them.—Ballimore American, Wanted to mob thesum- Naw! Wanted to mob - they caught led to another and it wound up with | at Sab “ ‘ ere Man” « 2.. Renton, Rainier Vall Jackson Street and PATRONIZE THE FOLLOWING F COLUMBIA CITY SASH & DOOR CO. SCREEN DOORS AND WINDOWS Made to order. All kinds of Poul- try Netting and Fly Screen 5000 Mainier Ave. Seattle, Wash. ——— DUDLEY & SONS Sunset Beacon 1371, Ind. Col 40. FUEL, ALL KINDS Certified Weight, Certificates Isaned. JUALITY AND WEIGET GROCER W. P. PHALEN Phones, Beacon 1 Columbia 1. The Leading Up-to-Date Grocer of the Rainier Valley. Pure Foods—Full Weights JACKSON ST. HOTEL IDAHO THOMAS, Mgr. Phone Ind. 1686. Newly Hot and Cold r in All Rooms. One Block From All Depots Rooms Ali Prices. RAINIER VALLEY FLORIST Did you,ever stop to think that you ld save from one-third te one-half on sumuD: S. FRUIT TREES AND OUT FLOWERS Take Brighton Renton Line, get off at FLOUR Hammond's Best Flour $1.25 for 49-1b. Sack. SPECIAL. FRONT @ROC: Col, 96, Beacon » QUALITY COUNTS Star Want Ads Bring Results Ind 99, Nursery, foot of Holly St.?/ DISTRICT, THEY ARE Fresh, Salt Cirete (CW) aS Sunset, Mein 61, ot] |GENERAL MERC | Williams & | IF you comm | ‘WILL ‘ | LIVE WIRE Phone Bisck HARDV Renton re Some Big Spectale azD come AxD | Phone Ind, White wn, $10 per ma these lots before on Cedar. River prices advanee, WILSON & Strictly cane raa9 Rainier AVS | PHYSICIANS _ | “Phones, Golem! {