The Seattle Star Newspaper, March 26, 1912, Page 4

a iia SOE 4 THE Wainer ot United Prens. Entered at Bealtle, Waah,, postottic uth up to six montha SEATTLE STAR | Private Main 9400 ‘ Buble! Tawa matte Bix months, 61.80 By mati, out of city One yea eae ters to The Seattle ‘office AL ones Of any fal the paper, oF any aitemp BU tte © desire of A complaints are given ¢ rrive any night Ask for the € woultyiow thie livery of Sak Will Santer a favor P attonth sok, Kindly phone this office culation Depar falls Main #400 Secretary Fisher has returned from Panama, It did not go for his health. He went to find out if it is fe move Uncle Sam's railroad construction outfit from the Isthmus to Alaska and build a system of government railroads, The is to get our coal to the seaboard and to open the great North land to settlement and development The seeretary reports that the undertaking is entirely prac- ticable. It is stated that the president agrees with him and will recommend the policy to congress. Good business! Good statesmanship! ~Good horse sense! Good politics! Unele Sam's experience as railroad and canal builder, steam ship owner, storekeeper, hotel proprietor and all-round business man of the Isthmus of Panama—to say nothing of the record he has made in sanitary engineering—is one of the most encourag ing things that has happened to America in a long time If we could do all that in Panama, why can't we do more than build the railroad and mine the coal for the navy in Alaska? Why can’t we haul the people's coal in the people's ships to the place where the people can use it? Why not, Mr, Secretary Fisher? taken 1,385,000 bales of cotton more something like prosperity SPINNERS of the world bh: than to this date last year, Loo! Dr. Mabel Howe Otis, lecturing to a Y. W. C. A. audience, says “Every girl should stand on her head at least twice a day; it's better than medicine” This settios it! Here's where we drop science, anti-toxing and Marphy buttons, and go back to sassafras tea, burdock syrup and horny handed calomel. Haven't we paid respectful attention when Dr. Wiley told us there ‘Was benzoate of soda in everything on our table, from soup to walnut ‘We have = Didn't stand by Dr. Pasteur whem he declared th: Were pretty much all a harbor of refuge for bacteriay Wo did. Who waged a high moral campaign for the individual tooth brush, towel and drinking cup? We did. Who sanciticed on the altar of the Goddess Science a virgin beard, prolific fm scenery, profound in possibilities? We. Who taught the kid dies to Kiss with the oar instead of the lip’ Who has sing chorus to every tune that Science has siarted to cheor humanity on in the awful, | terror-inspiring struggle to keep alive in spite of fever mosquitoes and typhoid flies t and disinfected the hen roost—all, all out of respect for and loyalty to Science and its spec'aliats? Darn us, we have! And more, too! siut we quit right now! If Dr, Mabel Otis gets our women folks to standing on their heads twice a day ‘s going hear, right ont in print, wha: hink of fomaie mghte in the doctoring busin i any girl stands © head in our presence and relies on us to set her t'other ead up in her pinch skirts, she's going to find that she's tied her hopes to the wrong hitching post. If any female, ours or another's, high or low, white or black, married or single, suffragette or anti, takes to Dr. Otising in our neighborhood in lieu of medicine, she's going to get an faverted view of an almighty fine specimen of tall running for mature timber, that's all! We have loved Science and been loyal to ber and suffered, often, Untold agonies in her behalf, and there isn’t any counting of our sacrifice: for ber. Qut if she stands on her head in these present day hobble skirt she'll stick there till kingdom come for Tako out your pencil! How many times does 28 go into 3667 you're right--13 times and one over. That br.ngs us to the real point, which is that one Moses bi. Cote , of Victoria, B. C., would lead us from the old-fashioned calendar of 12 mouths, with all sorts of lengths from 28 days to 31, and give us a brand new one in which there shall be 13 months, each of 28 days. “But,” you say, “what is be going to do with that extra day?” Mr. Moses has that all fixed. Make it a free day, he says, free from interest charges, tree trom work, free from wage scale. would have each month begin on Sunday, so the first, ses teen bara and twenty-second of each month would be Sundays. it Hedley of Yale says » month of four weeks is a “commercial and the Journal of the American Medica! Association. com- om the new plan, says our old one ts “indefensible.” Mosee Cotsworth is distributing literature on the subject, but we predict that the change won't be made this year. The true significance of the recent 4 to 3 decision of the United sapreme court in regard to the rights of a patentee is slowly awning upon the country. It will make monopoly impregnable. Any trust owning a patent ‘will be able, under this ruling, to compel the purchase not merely of the thing patented, but of-everything used in connection with it. And we en't do a thing to help curseives “We can legislate,” you say, “and get relief by that means.” Oh, yes, and then We can litigate and find out what our legislation In the meantime, we will be paying interest on watered stock day and night from year's end to year's end. Yes, Railroad Magazine boosts the “pride” stock among its employes. “Pride is one of the most satisfactory assets an agent, conductor, in fact any railroad employe, regardless of his position, may possess,” states the article. “Pride in your work means neatness in person, station, office, trains or yards, or in questions of promptness, ueatness and thor- Oughness. it means hearty and harmonious co-operation with your co- Workers; courtesy in your conduct, Pride means efficiency and effi- ciency means promotion.” That's 2 whole lot better than the definitions, “self-esteem, vanity, egotism, vaingiory, etc,” which were applied to pride by our grand- come ogy Let's have a lot of that variety the rallroad magazine do- An Unnatural State of Things San Franciseo sounds a note of warning to workingmen to stay away. “We have 50,000 unemployed men and women now,” she says California is as large as France. As readily France, she might support a population of 40,000,000 to 60,000,000. But California, like Many other states of the union, is waiting for the master mind that knows how to open the gates of opportunity to the multitude in a land of plenty, ee AN ENDLESS CHAIN “My mother’s awful generous,” said the New Boy, “She knows I = ‘oy take my cod liver oil, #0 she gives me a nickel every time I “How often do you take it?” queried the Other Boy, “Three times a day.” “Gee!” sighed the other in hopelss envy at such wealth. ‘Fifteen eents a da: How do you ever spend St all?” “I don't. She takes care of it for me. And when there are enough Bickels to make a dollar, she-——” “Hands it over to you?” ri “No. She buys me another $1 bottle of cod liver ofl,”—Young’s Mag ne. sini tig ou * EXPLAINED you see that man? His friends think him the soul of honor and Donesty, and yet he made every penny of his money out of graft.” “Had he @ political job “No; @ peach orchard.”—Baltimore American | “Yea, sur, Correct service is an art, alr, “And I suppose you're an artist r to your finger tips? THE STAR—TUESDAY, MARCH THE ONLY REASON, “Jack Huggins has married a rich woman,” “Have you seen a Bradatrest re port on her? No, but I've seen her fade.” —— ; SILENT RECITATION : “What te your favorite recitation tT 26, 1912, NOTHING SERIOUS|S) etaant = | Most Inhuman. “A war fa a dreadful thing,” eald Mr, Dolan, “it is,” replied Mr. Rafferty, ‘When you soe the flercencey of mombers of the army toward one another, the fate of a moa enemy must be horrible.” ih ington Bt A Hint. Two witnesses wore at the Wat ford Assizes in a case which con- cerned jong continued poultry steal from them in the way of eviden: until the nearly baffied prosecuting counsel asked, in an angry tone of ‘ear on your your knowledge stolen chickens? The responsibility of this was too much, even for Pat, “Bedad, | would hardly swear by my soul,” he said; but I do know that if I was a chicken and Phady about I'd roost high! "Life, Who has bolled the drinking water, sterilised the cow! “"Curfew Shall Not Ring Tonight.” “Hut no one recites that now,” “That's why | like it."--New York Telegram. IN A FORTUNATE AGE i “What are you amiling about?” asked Noah. “I was just thinking,” replied Japhet, “how lucky It was we could fo abead and build this ark without waiting for an appropriation from | Congress. Washington Star | Oia MAKING SURE Better. Blobbs—Do you think Mine An- tique would appreciate a birthday present? Slobbe--Not so much as a birth day absent.—-Philadetphia Record. Obliging. A farmer boy and bis best gir! were seated in a buggy one even (im afraid we might run inte an seobers” tage, Soult Waleeing: Che peapte) “The danger ts very slicht, auntie.” i Sore Bose f ber bi yon ‘Well, «ive the capthin a dotlar anyhow, and then he'll be extra care Presently the lady remarked: ~Laulsville Courier-Journal, “My! that popcorn smells good.” SauELCHED. “That's right,” eee gn ‘an Every body's | fu OF TECHNIQUE. Dridget-—-What does Q meas, mum? } i The Mistress—It is Arable for fate. The Mistress (three days later) “What makes you limp, Bridget? Hiridget--Ghure, me kismet burt ~Gatire, “Kismet” | me “I can't understand why a woman should He about her age. 1 should never try to deceive anybody in that way.” “Stilt you wouldn't want every. body to know you were 41, would your” “Forty-one! The idea! I'll not) be 32 tll my next birthday.”—Cht- cago Herald “Hello, Mise Inabel; goin’ up tor Didnt Bother itm ba to teach mnaic + 1 fad]. Mustclan—Ia Mt not « distressing | fo; quite the opposite; f A A yh ogg " . . now! i i worry you vena: Judie trom Post] “Pithtine "Ko “ite aly cow | rony cheeks there cant nothin’) oi) a A id serious be th’ matter with it. my wife drags me ashen to the opera! EDUCATIONAL NOTE Mra. Strackit Rich--Our waiter is a studegt. He le working his way through college. Hoat--Hoots, mon! Mr, Strackit Rich—You don’t tel! me! Well, if the colleges would be fangen the noo! only turn oat a few more good waiters I'd have more respect for them | Jest borun. . seats of learning,” —Puck. Guewt-—Na, Pm no gangen, but { thocht I wad jest say guid-nickt, white i recognize ye!~-Punch, Lon- jon, “TN give you $5,000 for the prop- erty.” “What do you want me to do~ tive it to yout” “No; I was merely offering you twiee what you swore it was worth, when yoo made outh to your tax iat.” Londen Opinion. Preparing for the Worst. The nicht's BEHIND THE TIMES : “Did you read about the $600,000 pear! necklace that the Philadelphia banker gave hin Uride the other day? Too Young for That. An old man was hanging on a strap in a street car, and with dit feulty, With the al lack of street car consideration, no man loffered to give him a seat, but a woman was impelled to get up. | He puabed her back im her seat |gently, bot with symptoms of re! jsentment. She felt a bit embar-| [rane until, after # lapse of a min jute or so, the old man bent down jand whispered i} “I won't be 83 until Jane.”"—Chi-| joago Evening Post, i] “Goodners! bappentngs of the day ™ Don't you ever try to keep posted on the important Chicage Record Herald “TART AND SCIENCE } Trapped. | “He discovered that bis wife had two detectives trailing bim for aix| | month: | “How did he discover itt” “She sent him the bill.”"—Phila-| delphia Evening Bulletin. | It Sure Do Help the Reader. | “it ‘ad be a shame to leave the word ‘applause’ out o° th’ speeches | they print,” said Farmer Corn-| tonse! “You think it useful, then?’ “Yeu. It's a kind of a guide. It! beautiful picture | shows you what part of the apeoch the author thought was moat inter-| of an angel. 4 Aviation Enthustast—Yes, but be-/ Cetin’ and lets you skip the reat.” —| | Washington Star. me those wings i First Candidate—No man can be bigger than his party Second Candidate—t suppose that must be tr But ft is also im ible for a party to be as big as (Ween you and an occasionally feels. aren't practical lady—What a Home Baked Flaky Biscuits Delicious Cake Healthful Food made with Dr. Prices who don’t care to Heten. In a store I sometimes get what what I don't get getting what 1 don’t ask for. | hunger for the siaque story! NOVEL you,” “Well, out with it, my dear,” said week.” coat me $30,000," READING TOO MUCH Bore—Do you know, | believe I can read your innermost thoughts? Miss Keen (stifling a yawn)—1 should be sorry for that, Mr. Bore, if you are at all sensitive! 7 P SURE HE DRANK HIS SHARE He—According to the statistics, th Ey gee pnt dh co istics, the consumption of beer in this She—Wretch! Now | know why the bill while I was away—Filegende Biaetter, "NP 8° Mast summer _ | USELESS KNOWLEDGE \ | “That man has a vast fund of information.” “Yes,” replied Senator Sorghum, “but he can’t put a dollar mark ae ; Meont of it and use it for a campaign fund."—Washington Star, harness on the dresser, Thea why do you wear it?” snapped Mr, Nags, “Oh, tt feels so good when I take it off,” replied Mra, Nagg.—Cincin- nati Bnquirer, } j | ““Merey! How long do you think | No N ‘um ‘them by the hour."—New Orl 0 First Boarder il im hosphax i'm for free speech and for plenty of cotton in the ears of those | | The whisper of a man with a loud breath is more plercing that scream of & hyena that brushes its ge a oesietnarenmtitatineasianeonnasssienerensenenstnnsin, MADE UP I think her mind is mads up. She-—Well, | know the rest of her is. A “Father,” said the millionatre’s daughter, “Mother and | have decided to give a novel little dinner party next “I can't afford It,” said the millionaire, “I know, but this is a novel dinner. We have decided to feed twelve E A M people well, and do it for $50."—Detroit Free Press. A WOMAN'S REASON “My, but I do hate this corset!” suid Mrs. Nagg, as she tossed her COME QUICK, GO QUICK “Do you pay your servants by the week or by the month?” Picayune. | —— ‘What do you suppose those flannel cakes were made This Old World Certainly Ought to Quit Kicking This Man Aroun’| ARTHUR ST. LEON Arthur 8t. Leon, bead of the fa: mous Bt. Leon tumily of acrobats, | was born in Italy 48 years eno, but) he does not look a day over 30. In} his lifetime be bas been The sole survivor of a wreck of an ocean liner carrying 392 pas sengers; Hit uy @ fragment of a bursting shell while on horseback in South Africa during the Boer war, losing the power of speech for siz years: Bealded from head to foot in a botter explosion on board a Great Lakes freighter; And all smashed up. nine months! ago, while waking a 76-foot jump in} ® gireus ring, in San Francisco. He) rl 4 his aim, fell and fractured} hip skull, fi ribs, collar bone.) right leg aod two finger | After this last accident he came to Seattle, where he bas been re- eovering his health to a bospital.| While in the hospital be got word| from New York that his wife was dead “Pate certainly has bad it in for me,” sald St. Leon today FAUX | benefit jtoured Australasia and Asia. He Bt. Leon has many friends in Se- attle, among them Mayor Cotterill, who, learning of bis latest misfor. tune, have arranged 4 benefit for bim at the Seattle theatre Friday afternoon. All the other theatres in the city will lend their best talent, and the formance wil] be one of top notch headliners. Bt. Leon got into the show game when he & years old. He trav. eled over Burope, and was with Biondin in England. He bad a cir-| cus of his own with which he joined Barnum & Bailey in 1890, and since then has been furnishing! thrills for the five continents. All bis Ife he has flirted with) death, It never quite got him.| Among the “dare-devils” of the clr- cus be stands easily first “My broken bones have knitted,” he sald today, “and if 1 can get on my feet fnancially, ('m going) to make a try at getting back into} the acrobatic game” 8t. Leon has 12 brothers and sis lters, all acrobats. eee ee re a PAS “Well, thank heaven,” he said, approaching a sadJooking man who “What ist” Yor whairly | oat back in a dark corner, “that's over wit ‘ve danted with the hostess, Have you gone through with it yet tT “No; I don't need to. T'm the host.” ~Chicago Record-Herald. SAYINGS OF FAMOUS MEN Ol Black Joe—Yes, suh; I's comin” Jean Valjean—1 suppose if look itke a piker. I wanted to I could make Frank Gotch | David Harum—Gee! What s hoss trade { could bave got out ot} King Richard the Third! Baron Munchawsen—What's the matter with naming a club after) -Chieago Tribune. { Convict Is Paroled | to Play Baseball | March 26.— AURORA, TIL, Frank Sebaub, serving a sentence in the s' penitentiary of Wisconst perjury, has been paroled by Governor McGovern of Wiscon sin, to permit him to play base ball. Schaub is an outfielder on the Appleton team of the Wisconsin Tiitnola league and was paroled under, conditions which did not permit him to play ball The matter was laid before Governor McGovern, who changed the pa- role and notified Schaub that he might join his club. Vienna. —-"Wite and dog strayed, finder can keep both, Wanted—A hard working stable girl to take wife's place.” This is the ad ap- pearing in a local paper. I ask for, and sometimes I ask for | 1 don’t mind asking if 1 don't get it, put I object to} All this may seem vague, but before I feave the store my position is thoroughly understood, How often must I remind some mental degenerate that 1 do not teeth, Boston Transcript. DINNER “I have something to tell the old gentleman. “The last dinner you gave they stay with ua? We have to pay Second Ditto—I don't know; but did you notic blankets last night?—Baltimore American, — det Segal ot Sue, 'MALTED MILK ork g HORLICK’S } } | A bench prepared in a minute. Talocoodanas Later HORLICE'S Not in Any Milk Trost The HY) enpectally born cases of tanding, but minutes’ time Pe towel and utes the You will be oulte of thig 4 the head feet will si up feeling wilt This methorw up the worst night. A bottle of it Higho-mey A CURE WITHOUT | Nature's Remedy Restores Health While te without the y least shock Dullds up vitality and t « inactive organ the ended. When your to satisfy the demands oi oxiat Blectra-Vita and other contrivances you may bave # ed ready tor Use Jents. Ehoy will tell YOu power and is always char, names of eu for them, GIVEN FREE—Just put your name and address on this coupon and mall it to us, We'll send you our big free book, which telis al! about Blectra-Vita, how it cures and what It cos This book is finely illustrated and explains many things you should know re- warding the diseases of men and women, Cut out the coupon now. owe body nature, Wi ifferent from electrie eon OF