The Seattle Star Newspaper, March 19, 1912, Page 4

THE SEATTLE STAR Phones Private Exchange Main $490 ard (independent 441 ~~Samber of United Press, Published Daily by The Star Publishing Co Hrtered at Beattie, Wash. postoffics as second-class matter i, out 30 vente per month up to six monthe Six a favor & 25. prompt and regula another paper fo i wecure the Lent Rervice night by @ na Sak, “Kew the ¢ And complaiite are it Four paper fatled to arrl Office at once, Main 8400 or mont o'elook kindly |p! for the Clreulation Depart- The Falling Waters rain, and the running stream can anyone OWN them? Well, her, and SELL them, too. The report of Herbert Knox Smith, commissioner of corpo- rations, like similar reports that have preceded it, lays bare the The melting snow, the gent) | facts of actual and potentiot monopoly in the natural water power of the United States. It shows that in Washington, for instance, two great corpo rations control 70 per cent of the developed power; in Califor nia six companies control 86 per cent; in Michigan one company controls 73 per cent; in South Carolina one company controls 75 per cent, and so on throughout the country What is equally or more important, it shows how ALL water power enterprise is gradually being concentrated in the control of a very few men in Wall Street, of whom J. P. Morgan is chief, how control of public utilities in the same hands in- evitably follows, and how this dominance is made more binding by the fact that the great banks, with their imperious command of credit, are similarly centered. Well, fellow citizens, it looks as though they've got the land and the water, but thank God, we've got the air left! We're likely to become a nation of Lilliputians, says Dr. Henry M. Friedman of New York, unless we quit breeding big minds and little bodies. Say, doc, have you seen the rest of us outside of New York? Recalling the Umpire An Eastern editor, not named, is being much quoted in the standpat press for writing a letter to ! cvelt, in baseball English, on his proposition to recall judicial decisions. “T've been rooting for you,” he wrote, “but I've quit. Your plan would let the crowd overrule the umpire any time they did not like his decisions.” All right, Mr. Eastern Editor picked the umpire and kept him on the job Suppose he was giving the other side the best of it every chance he got. Suap- pose the umpire was crooked, or so biased that your team had no chance to win. : ; You wouldn't stop with overruling his decisions Not if you were a good fan you wouldn't. You'd be leading the rooters down from the grandstand with an armload of pop bottles YOU'D RECALL THE UMPIRE, IN A WORD wouldn't stop with recaHing his decision Another thing, when an umpire is wrong #, he has to change his decision—in baseball He doesn’t on the bench But suppose the other team You and you can preve Fire losses in the United States average $57,000 for every hour, $950 for every minute, $16 for every tick of the clock, every day in the year. It would almost pay to have fire proof buildings, wouldn't it? Where You're Safe It is a well known fact that a sailor never feels quite safe on land. What he wants is to be afloat with plenty of sea room. Bat it is not generally known that the facts and figures actually bear him out. During the pest year American steam vessels reporting to the government carried 413,531,305 passengers, and only 74 lives were lost, counting passengers and crew. “Jack” may be right—the sea may be safer than the land. Speaking of automobiles, did you know that there are $00,000 of them in use in the United States? The value of the 1911 output alone was $215,650,000. No, we haven't one, but they're there. English women don't spend all their time throwing bricks store windows to attract attention to their demand for the suffrage. Part of the time they are singing songs, like this: one, to the tune of “Comin’ Thro’ the Rye” : “If a body pays the t axes Between the harsh logic of their bricks and the sweet feasonableness of their songs they expect to win this year. Knoxville, Tenn., had a: tin-ean-gathering competition. A youngster of 6 collected nearly 6,000 and won. No wonder she is always with us—-the widow, we mean. Men die in the proportion of 54.4 per cent and women in the proportion of 45.6 per cent, according to the census of 1910. Births average 110 boys to 100 girls, but husbands drop off faster than wives. A surplus of widows logically results. But some of ‘em are awfully jolly! There are over 6,000,000 miners in the world ; 700,000 in the United States. “Chickens, 22 cents per pound.” And over at Spanaway, near Tacoma, they have a single incubator which has a 1,400- gg capacity. Now they're trying to discover what your ancestors were your birthmarks. Thunder! No chance at all for the new to buy a family tree. \ Commercial Travelers’ National League is going after the tip evil harder than ever. They say that tipless barber shops are making a hit everywhere. Allan L, Benson, writing against Aldrich’s bank plan, says: “Are we jackasses? I believe we are. And the worst of it is, the bankers seem to know it.” Writer now proves that many of the sayings at which we now laugh were presented in similar form to the ancient Greeks and Latins and tickled ’em immensely. " Hilinois boy, publishing an amateur magazine, offers Presi- dent Taft $2.50 to write an article on golf. Bright boy! He got lots of advertising, whether he gets the article or not. Searchlight of 90,000,000 candle power, visible for 11 miles, on bank roof in Montevideo, Uruguay. And still some of us think that South America is an uncivilized wilderness HKHKKHKHKKARAES Guest—I’m sure | don't know why they call this hotel “The Paims!” Do you? I've never seen a palm anywhere near the place. * Second Guest—You'll see them before you go, It's a pleasant % little surprise the waiters keep for the guests to the jast day of & their stay. —Tit-Bits, * RK KKK hhh hh THE STAR—TUESDAY, MARCH 19, 1912, PLENTY OF IT, Timid Lover--Johany, you this quarter if y: lock of your sister's hair Johony — A’right—make ft 60/the different kinds of tea.” HIS TASTE m xive | att steal me a) ma #4 tea sampler; he samples ate and Tl steal ye a whole) “When ft grow up I want to hee witeh! i ple sampler.” aah ‘ TWO OIFFERENT SPECIES “Say, grandpa, what is a book) Mamthy — Land sakes, Hiram! worm? | be you aehakin’ that boy fort) “A bookworm, my son, is ofther) Hiram—Waal, th" fergetful little! & person who would rather read/ rattlopate jest took his medicine an’ than eat, or a worm that would|fergot ter shake th’ bottle iike doc | rather eat a book than read.” tor ‘im! KRW RRR RRR RRR RRR RRR * AFTER TAKING ’ Loaic John retarned home at a very questionable hour, and among other souvenirs of a special evening he carried a considerable gush on bis forehead. His wife demanded an explanation of the wound Nothin’ be ‘larmed ‘bout, mi’ dear. Jes’ bit m'self.” “Jobn Brown! How could you bite yourself on the fore head?" exclaimed bis irritated helpmate. This bad presented no diffienities to the versatile John, if it had taxed the credulity of tis spouse. “Ll stood op a chair, yknaw,” he exclattned gitbly.—Gar- eeeeerereeees Sessa ee eeenees muy le. Ree eeaereeeeeeeeenneenene EVERETT TRUE AND THE TRUE TRIPLETS FLL SHOW You KIDS HOw TO PLAY BALL. ru use THE GLOVE AND YOU STEP BACK A LITTLE AND THROW AS HARD AS YOU CAN. 1 MEANT OWE AT A TIMES! always feels confident of ure and wholesome food when using DePRICES Baking Powder: APure,Grape Cream Tartar , : Baking Powder Made from Grapes ! “What business is papa ip, mam-| A NICE MAN “Were you giad when grandpa proposed to you?” “Why, of course, I was, dear” “Ho's such @ nico man, It would have been a shame if you had let him marry out of our family,” ALWAYS THE GAME “What is a fairy tale, pat” “One that onde: ‘And so they married and lived happily ever af- terward,’ my son ME BETTER ax, eon carry a baby than a A SELF-MADE man te all right untii he begins to worship his creator ITS bad form, but blowing one's peed horn seems to work pretty weil, SEEDS and chickens can't agree. Chickens steal seeds, you see. IZAAK'S OREAM dream of spring and brooks ‘irl, Of pretty trees and my best girl. And in my dreams there comes a wish: ‘That I may cateh tho biggest fish. SOLUTION of niter will remove tok stains from furniture. TOO many cooks spoil the broth. Too many appetizers «poll the appetite IT is eatimated that 120,000,000 living creatures inbabit each square mile of the Atlantic ocean. WHEN « woman throws herself ate — head she seldom takes mood a PETERS: What rent do they charge for a house like yours? Peterson: Forty-five dollars a month. Peters: My! That's high. Do you have any trouble getting it together? No, I don't, but : the landlord does There's always one uninterested Look pleasant. You have live with your face, to And you don't want to have it said that people knocked you when they said, “How natural be looks!" The daydreamer doesn’t have nightmares. He has hobby horses. Wonder if they raise mustard on the Sandwich Islands? JUSTIFIED, “The hour of twetve has struck!” hineed the ghost “I don't blame it,” replied materialist. “It way worked death long ago.” Judge. the to SAME AS HOME. Zoo Keeper-"This camel went nine days without water.” Tommy—"Say, did his pipes freeze, too? —Judge. HEARD ON STATE STREET Boge Please, mister, give me a nicke! Passer-by—Can't do it, my good feliow. All my money is in cop- per.—-Boston Transoript. IN TRAINING. “The baseball ing on.” “That's right.” “Yea; the boys around the stove have begun preliminary practice.” ~-Washington Herald. ON THE SAFE SIDE A large, shaggy, rough-necked Person came into a haberdashery in Washington and asked the clerk & bored young person who wore a very high collar and was much in- terested in the polish on his nails —for a shirt . The clerk passed out pink and one blue. “Which of these is best?" the customer, The clerk yawned, examined his nails and said “Oh, it's just a matter of taste,” “But whieh kind would you get if you was buytn’ one of ‘em?" “Personally | should prefer the blue one,” answered the salesman, drumming on the counter and yawa- ing again. “That so?” asked the shaggy cus- tomer, “All right, I'll take the pink one, Here, wrap ‘er up."-—Saturday Evening Post, two, one asked 'Here’s the Man Who'll Give You Free Bodd: aad He's the real heme line, Ther about him. briltiantly lighted cafe sign: of course, know that the t you, Bo. card when stern realities are faced. Not so with George A. McKnight He's the fe who'll at handout, no matter how ju wich broke you are. He'll f a place to wl squeere a with a can opener kel out of your merrily be carr ing the la or you ma: laid collar; Knight ing ¢ whit inte (ablos, and may have sequired @ cut. yn ‘on hw it's “ail roned fraternity who min dumb and blind With true hemlan spirit, McKnight will 1 commineration to all Bo Chicago S — Marjorie Woods, the “Wanda Kelly” of the Piay in chi cago. Marjorie Woods sat at her switch. board in Chicago. Mary Nash sat at her switchboard in New York They were real switchboarda, even if they WERE stage switch- boards. $o when Marjorie and Mary plugged into the circuit that the tel- ephone company had fixed for them in the two theatres when Belasco's pone = Her Mother's Da: “You must not talk all the time, Ethel,” said the mother who ty been interrupted. “When will I be old enough to, mama” asked the little girl— Yonkers Statesman. Second Sight “Mama, our governess can see im the dark.” “How do you know that?” “Last night out in the hall It heard her tell Uncle Jack that he hade’t bad a shave.”"—Pliegende Blaetter HE KNEW Al Cr Ro “If you'd just hustle a bit you'd make twice the money you do, Why don't you take a brace?” “Bracers are the very things that keep me from working.” How Fame C Seribbler—It took me nearly ten season is draw-| years to learn that I couldn't write poetry. Friend—Gave it up then, did you? Seribbler—Oh, no. By that time I had a reputation.—Puck, Not So Bad Rey. Silvester Horne once heard a Tory member of parliament say in praise of bishops: “Bishops are not really stiff and starchy, There's a good rt beat- ing below their gaiters."—~Zion's Herald Smith and Jones were speaking about the fine points of thelr re spective sons “That boy of mine remarked Smith, extravagantly, “is the gen uine article! He's all wool, you can bet!” “Shouldn't wonder,” commented Jones, “I notice he shrinks from washing.”—Tit Bits “I just saw your wife in your neighbor's ito. Why don't you take her out in yours?” “Ob, we've just made our wills in favor of each other.’—Pliegende Biaetter, a He'll treat you the same if you're standing on your own feet or the world ts going #0 around that you've got to You may be wear style 1912 sult, A collue the same to Mo You may have been fork- loose change to the to your wants on mahogany loquacious tongue and 4 gigantic noodle, or you may he stone deaf, hemian distinguishes not between and the down too oft are the Bohemian ethics thrown inte dis | { even if you couldn't | xtend | chested, Knight is a big fellow, deep| when he's busiest. It's embroi tar and Her Audience Connected by’ Phone With Counterparts in New York ; ia being played, thei tm the Republic theatre in New Free Room, George McKnight, City’s New Jj, rticte in the Bo-~ nothing phony if you've studied the ethics of the true Bohemian, as it may be learned in any of the great institutions that beckon to you of an evening and early morning with | with gold | reading “8 pert a ea on the fifth fheor ot aa You can tell whe he ig bunch of keye he Yen, Ploreetion am right, Mek, “Now, dont ge | said MeKnight Star interviewer “Tell ‘om that the | 's the best in the that i | that + | mane, and | than in other | attle jail ie | city halt, oeed ote | Cellar, a6 In most plagage | Well, without p | clot. ety Jailer, it Star Inter | *ith ood. matured [and espectally halr (heavy on the | would be apt to | 4 pretty square | MeKnight has \lice department lyears, He was | potice In Belli |held for thi | labor, and all in'amh, lot of experionee ot |tussies in tife. Me ie 46 ee cd but doesn't look it, om: been in In GEORGE A. M'KNIGHT laughing eyes and curly brown hair, He wears a blue 5" na Nash, the “Wanda Kelty” , New York. two girls who play the role of hero-; York heard the € ine, and the two audiences that hap- applauding the pened to be seeing the play that listening in the © night, were put in touch with each Chicago heard the other across a thousand miles of applauding. Each country. jbeard the young The Chicago heroine talked to the | stage before it New York heroine. Belasco him-| have been self in New York talked to a bunch years ago. of Chicago newspaper men on ex-| Thus the 100th pert tension receivers, Those listening | telephone play was | phonicalty. art ba |e eee e ee eee eee ee eee i* ig \* | | | | THE LATEST ABOUT PETER Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater, Had 4 wife and tried to beat her; But bis wife was a suffragettes, And Peter's tn the sick ward yet o * o = * * * Mr. Bullion—Can't you Prospective Son-in-Law- Transcript. CROSS, SICK AND FEVE CHILDREN NEED Most of the ills of childhood are caused by a s0Ur, ach, sluggish liver and constipated bowels, They catch ¢ come cross, listioss, irritable, feverish, restless, tongue or sh well and need tle, though thorough, to foree a oo Of Te one's alreedy ol useating dose of oll Into the litt Any child will gladly take or produce the slightest uneasiness—though cleanses sWeetens the stomach and puts the liver and condition. Rae. Full directions for ehitdres aa tn each package Mothers can rest easy after 1 gentle, thorough 10 cents per box. @yA e 2 WORK WHILE YOU system, healthy 100 Aine Reeana 80> boxes —SUBSCRIBE FOR— TheSeattle Dailyst Delivered at Your Home | To show my appreciation of the fatr and Seattle Daily Star, 1 herewith subscribe to he Bear (0 one month, and thereafter until ordered stopped, 1 the following address, at the rate of 260 per month per month by mail. cose enene senna NAME...... Cut out and mail to The Star, Seattle, Wash. 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