The Seattle Star Newspaper, March 15, 1912, Page 4

THE SEATTLE STAR ine Phones Private Exchange Main $490 ard f Member of United Press, Published Daily by The star weehee oe 0 Watered at Seatiic, Wash. postoffice as se mat month up to a Mix montha, Ue per months. office at tar 4 he paper for Th tar, Tt in t ° < t for all, and « » Een Courteous and prompt attention Your paper tailed ve any HIEAt by @ o'clock kindly phane thie Sffice at once Main 9400 OF Ind 441, Ask for the Ciroulation Depart ment For centuries unnumbered the famous “piedra movediza” | pepsin, then w or oscillating rock has swung to and fro in the winds of the} why it makes Indi heavens. ‘To tourist and| Stomach, Heartburn A one KO 1 inutes and re native of Buenos Ayres) lieves at once such minerion « this wonderful rocking Belching of Gas, Bructations of stone has seemed a sour undigested food Ken, t ling GOOD CHANCE | OF COURSE | ANOTHER CHANCE ! POOR HUBBY Headaches, Dizziness, Constipation ounding hed 270 tons,|. Salesman—Your own husband) He-Coukin't you look upon me] j1p—1 suppose hereafter we will), Hubby—1 can’t ont those biscuits. /and other Blomach disord It weighed 270 tOMSs) woutdn't know you in that coat, [as more (ban @ brother? | meet ae atrangers? They are like rocks. ; and set upon another) ghe—on! that's fine, [ll follow] She—Well, if you ever marry and! ghe—yes, Won't that be nice?) Witey--Didn't | graduate from rock near the edge of a/him today and see how he conducts have a von, T might become your! 14) firt with you then cooking schoo! just before you mar- high cliff, The hand of |Mmeclt daughterin-law ried me? ° a little child could swing] SENATORIAL COURTESY |The, Senator Wasn't Anxious. | ftir Niorget what you learned : rag id lee until you forgot what you lea! 1 ou ve it, but the united efforts Senator Vardaman of Mississippi was making bis maiden speech | ON Sn 5 ee eee ot amet [enere. of 1,000 men pulling it) im the senate. 1 di kno’ reviled Benater aii aas a an inch} “MY brain reels at the idea!” he shrieked, My soul ts consumed | go iy 0n't uses” co Guan: Couldn't Be Broken How much sooner the pants t as ; 3 | within me! My speech fails! | am at a loes for words! 1 am burning Wthel—i'm awfully sorry, but 1% coat and vest? A well taile her than it has swung) “5 sleuthing going on that a man gets at an well tailor farther than it has s Si with indignation lehy of a thumb print, a footprint) @an't come to the party tonight, as long as TWO PAIR OF PA these hundreds of years You are out of order,” announced Presiding Officer “Bunny Jim” | aoq even of leave to print.”—Waah|! have a date ’ : hed a. So far and no” farth-|catmly lgagten Star | Gladye—Can't you break it? people order an extra pair wid man’s hands 1 guess that is what's the matter with mo,” sald the Mississippian hei-—-Not this one, dear, It's|[\ where this information is of interest to er a jdiswustediy, as be sank into his gedt.—Judge. ja mandate —Lippincott’s Magazine. Mi Saturday, March 16th, for a short time pO it . — = © | “A college boy's gran'mother al-| Phen one morning, A TERRIBLE JOL’ lus imagines he's studyin’ too! ai Gt. Paul policeman killed a just the ther day, the “What's the matter with your wife? inquired the South Side man. | hard.” | in ene one. huge rock came crashing “She got terrible jar yesterday, explained the North Side man. |. =e down Not a man was “What has happened? { Gown it 5 ik Gi “Why, she was assisting at a rummage sale. 9 R near it; the wind was “Yoo DIANA’S DIARY stronger than before. Ap- Took off her beautiful new bat and put it down somewhere.” { rently it had decided) "Yes." . ‘ Mise Dilipickles Mas Her Fling as a Moving Picture Heroine Before that its position was getting tiresome et shifted, aes = ee ne ee ee She Will Marry @ Certain Sensitive Young Man. ~ ore meee Down at the bottom of the cliff it lies STYLUS AND FIELD ay Phen SCHANESR. The hand that placed it on the cliff and balanced it so “DA your son's Mterary course at college profit him anything? nicely that man could push and pull and tug at it without Bh say wo. With what else he learned, be finally landed into an moving it an inch farther than it would go at the solicitation of the slightest wind, alsd crumbled it into dust at the bottom. The hand that did it makes man’s hand look feeble indeed. Preaching Right at Them Over at Denver, the Central Christian church has got, in Rev. 1 Lansing. « minister who is cither going to make his mark or lose his ehureb, for he preaches things that no church will stand unless it be @ church that is a great power for good and true relicion. Listen “It ts a part of the religion of Christ to have pure milk, that every | child may have a chance to live.” “It is a part of the religion of Christ that there shall be no over ‘Worked mothers, that they may have health and stre ag h to keep their children pure.” “It . &@ part of the religion of Christ that there shall be a decent Wage, so that a girl will not be compelled to sell her body and seul to @ain food and clothing.” “It is @ part of the religion of Christ that there shall be a sense of justice so determined and vigilant that there shall be a demand for Sustice for others as well as for ourselves.” This is bringing Christ into the daily lives of church member lexin lators, lawyers, judges and employers, with a vengeance. It ts sort of @ tendency toward whipping the money-changers from the temple. Nowadays, the preacher who resorts to It either gets « large congrege tion and a reputation as a true disciple of Christ, or a notice that the tone of his utterances leads the financial supporters of his eburch to believe that bis usefulness in that field ig impaired ft i» one thing te preach Christ and quite another to apply Christ to the datly prac tices of the leading supporters of some churches. DAILY train In France carries nothing but posies for the Paris Market—the “Flower Express.” - ie EX-GOV. FORT of New Jersey says T. R. ought Cause “our diploMacy needs him.” i 1] i to be president, be- ° ° ° OWA has licensed one automobile to every Pears, Talk about prosperous farmers! o @ © | WORLD'S WORK magazine asks voters to be fair, and says rt Watt might be worse.” Not in the time he's got left, old scout | o eo ° “BEST SELLER” of the year is the seed catalogue—3,000,000) copies every year. “Backtothe-farm”™ ides is certainly getting them.) ° ° o SMALLEST engine in the world | }1 perdons in three declares. 2 ee ANNUAL tournament of rth American Skat Chicago May 25. Sounds an if they were going aft Ration, but they're just going to play cards a ENGLISH review says Emerson Hough is Chicago's biggest liter @ry instituption. He writes stories of outdoor life and pronounces his Mame eo you can rhyme it with stuff, only nobody wants to. eague begins at wr the cate of the o © oO W. E. McADOO, head of the Hudson & Manha Tuns tubes into New York from New Jersey, says “the public be pleas.) 4” is his motto. We progress. Time was when that last word was! @pelied with six letters. | ae GEORGE RANDOLPH CHESTER, attan railfoad, whieh | who wrote “Get-Rich-Quick Wallingford,” t!ves at New Rochelle, which George M. Cohan made fa-| mous as “Forty-Five Minutes From Broadway A letter addressed to “Chester, 45 Minutes From Broadway,” reached G. Randolph all right the other day. j <==: re - =] SOME ARE BUM JOBS i= “Every man {s the architect of his own fortune j “Well, it's lucky for most of us that there is no building inspector @round!”—Town Topics. ROYAL king Powder Absalitt ure 3% Where the finest biscuit, cake, hot-breads, crusts or puddings are required Royal is indispensable. | Royal is equally valuable in the preparation of plain, substantial, every-day foods, for all occasions. 4 The only baking powder made from Royal Grape Cream of Tartar about the size of Kverett True's |i @erby bat, is a turbine, and has developed 110 horse-power, so an expert] jsay —— | told “What's he doing?” THE STAR “He's sport editor on one of Seattle's dailies,” NO DELAY “What are you smiling about?’ asked Noah. 1 was just thinking,” replied Japhet, go ahead and build this ark without waiting for aa appropriation from congress. --Washingtos Star LORD A You must try to be like God, the mother i« Upstaire, was preparing for 1 must be,” the boy an how lucky it ax ND HIM sonnie,” sald the kindly m worrledloéking child who entertained him in the parlor while by ompany ered | God and me gets blamed for about everything that happens in t | tf it's a big thing, they say the Lor wrong it's sure to be mo!” —-Chicago rd dtd it Record Herald WEARY “Aren't you getting weary of the You; mighty weary.” It seems to me I suppose you feel the same way.” ‘Ob winter? 1 can't stand the cold weather as well as fu I don't mind the cold weather so miveh. wrinkling bis brows, “for| and if any little thin FRIDAY, MARCH 15, 1988, we could iniater to to. It's the postedials 1 keep getting from people who are In Washington and want me to ~ that it fs jost tke June oat there.” EVEN POETS “He never finished the canto.” “Did bia at “No. oe affiatus give ov Cleveland His potatoes. WOULDN'T B Piret Angel—How did St. Peter charged with nearly everything Second Angel—Ob, he's a corpe technicalities —Satire GOOD C Baker—Whenever | see anythin wite. Barker—-Prodigal, aren't youT Baker--O1 IN THESE DAYS Sister—I want you to m mith at the door this evening I'm not at home. Kid Brother—But, wia, dat’s per ry. | Mr.} A PROSPEROUS FARMER | About as good a story of success | ful negro farming as I know lx oue by exGovernor Aycock of} North Carolina, While goveenor he! made a trip to his old home in joldaboro, and in course of the! visit ran across an vid negro, Calvin | Bock, who had educated himself, | learned his letters from an alphabet scrawled on a pine shingle by @& country carpenter, and bad also ac- quired considerable possessions by } itis industry and prudence. | {'s mighty glad to seo you, Mr Aycock,” he said, “and mighty glad you are guv'ner of the state.” And) then he laughed the nogro’s con-| agious chuckle, “As for me,” he| continued, “you know I couldn't af fo'd to be guv'ner.” “Couldn't afford to be governor? | y not, Calvin?” Suse, you see, sir, I gits more | fer my strawberries than North Caliny pays the guv'ner for a whole year’s work!"—World’s Work From Appearances A well-known peer, not remark- able for bis physique, som ago visited a factory where a great number of men were employed. The peer inquired of one of the workmen: “What wages do you receive here?” “Well,” replied the workman, scratching his head and raising his cap with the same hand, “that de- pends on what you are, guv'nor. A chap like you, for instance, would about eighteen bob a week! Tit-Bits, He--You are the prettiest girl I ever saw. She-—That sounds all right, but I don’t know how much the compli- ment ts worth until you tell me |how many pretty girls you have | seen—Somerville Journal, “Th' man in th’ oart Is th’ last one that'll put his shoulder to th’ wheel.” 1 always contro! the tmpuise Chicago Reoord-Herald MUST EAT ut Plain Dealer. E KEPT OUT sration lawyer. He got th ONTROL ng cowtly | want to bay f GOOD SCHEME He-- What do you say to 294) ment some day next week! She Ga ' What day? | want ° “ . pedy! What day "8" lthe machine. “What'll Alonzo think poem,” answered the pessimistic | }to tell pa and ma when he sees me as a cowgirl person Not a V Visitor “——" | bungling a simple seamstress job?" “What's the subject—the mo I thought. tive?” quert ee ee oe jaye | instead of sending me the usual box plied the P. P., “but I suspect th his wife {8 a purty good cook, her} Camay or flowers, encloses a Open Saturday Evening motive must be revenge.”—Tit-Bits. | solt.—-New York Weekly Se Gone an ere : J Zauy Lessons for Beginnors.”” He Ss Suspicious Not 80 Difficult wil teat yt Say po go Thad Boston ample Mrs, Talkalot—Mre Dashaway! Kid—And den the bandit ran in Se ee ae ee Shoe Shop Co toc, i says her house is full of antiques and took the safe out in his hand,|/®" expert at needlework, Diana, al Mrs, Pneurich—I knowed it was Sackae--te nie took? and that all the dainty things beau- Second Ave. at Pike. on ae satin 1 coun “oon Kid—-Dead cinch! It was a match |tifying your parlor were your own Over Swift's Drug Store. sprinkling insect powder around safe. Stanford Chaparral handiwork. Don’t you know that the other day.—Judge. "hates SAFES Vivetreet ares Excursion Fares | , : | Furniture | “Tell me, maw?” Wooa “Tell you what, my chick? West 66 99 “What ta a seminary?” Fixtures “A seminary, Edwin, is a collegi ate institution at which young Woot Mi GBNUINB MALL'S taine Bldg, CARPET WRAY Your olf rage ma from ‘6 Weave “fa rom old carpets and ai i Mise Carpets, y: RAINIBR VA) Established 1883 Corner First and Chi SEATTLE ne to let that fellow in? Harper's Hasag PURCELL SAFE ter the Be hd WEAVING ALBERT HANSEN INE JEWELRY, STERLING SILVER ; ee rough on t for a Simple Seamstress Job?” | Thought iv Never a fault did I ever notice in| «ponstbilitiesT” Alonzo Edam, or he wouldn't now! Can you beat that? be my chosen husband, but I am (Continued.) lbeginning to wise up somewhat enn Alone, I find, ix about as shy of imagination as a frog. Since I've [been in moving pleturex he thinks the different parts I play are really me. If I'd be playing in « theatre it would be different. He could see me off stage and realize that I'm jthe same girl ho courted, bat here 1 am, away out in « studio camp, where he can't | Se when Motion Bros. bad me do! the principal part in “Buckskin Beasio’s Sewing Machine” I was worried to death over the effect tt would have on Alonzo. It's « rob jlicking sort of a farce, in which | }| Buckskin Beasie of Double X ranch | [receives a sewing machine for her | {birthday present from the cow- }}gunchers, they thinking it will tlokle her feminine soul. In fact, jehe doesn't know anything but |bronco busting and steer roping {She tries to make good with the wing outfit, but shows herself up as a dub whon she tries to sew al} spur onto a riding boot, and busts MEN BOYS an clope From All Points in the Pacific Northwest to Practically All Points in the East Tickets on sale numerous dates between April 25 and September 30 Liberal stopover privileges and choice of diverse routes are permitted. Let us help you plan your trip. For further information, please call on or address A. P. CHAPMAN, Jr. J. L. CRISWELL, Gen'l Agent Passenger Dept. City Ticket Agent Second and Cherry, Seattle Majin 1048 Ind. 4812. erry as & wife you will have certain re- ‘The Shop That Saves Vou Money WOMEN PUTS AN A As there is of your family who of Indige Bypmach keep wor handy? thie gout the slighte tion ¢ trouble, hara an 4) come minutes after Tell your phart read the formula these 60-cent a sour potntees to the whould speak the country to which ‘What'll Alonze Think When He Sees Me as @ Cowgirl Bungiing a | Pointed. An enterprising ene port presented Olney. The secret Are you aware. recom speak antry }I suppose you do jexet The Westerner If rot the Job At Palm remarked t oadwayite. Well, I might bh bill,” suggested th —Judge man with a tail co! was reciting a f ground out 47 stan was not yet “What's going on guest who had just “Rhymer is lettt jladies are given course of study fo acquiring culture maw?" “But you ain't a uu, maw?" Not now, my c impertinent. “What did you ences, I even “Can I take it t “Yor wait a while befo thropology. “Because 1 thin caught It—I feel 6 But “maw” reass quit talking so mu catch something thropology. Diapop anny He Got the Job. Whea Richard Olney was secre tary of state he often said that ap. cian who desired to serve at « Chin-| & consul unless h Mr. Secretary Seems to me it's awfully stupid Can't little excitement? THE MOTIVE It was an evening party “Did you ever go to a seminary, “To be sure, son.” Suffice to say possess the education.” “Oh, a variety of arts took Edwin, but I hope you will Why do you awsk dered him to sit in the corner and END TO SOUR, GA “in maciwt jain sot P With Each Suit Order Prices $25 and Up SUMNER TAILORING 917 THIRD AVE, Successors to Hayden & Holden, JOSH WISE AYS “Th camera tetle th’ truth ef you warn th’ fel- ler it's goin’ ter take him.” ponmular service language of the they were ap. Western politi- his papers to Mr, ary remarked sir, that I never # language not speak Chin- grinned broadly. said he, “you will ask me a question in Chinese | ana \ shall be happy to answer it He New York Sun./ Beach he nted transp: et you have four © botel manager. A young | Nar and pale hai poem. He had zas—and the end| n?” whispered the | come tn | ng out his latest an education, a r the purpose of and knowledge.” young lady, are but that is 1 still hild, maw?” and sch anthropology.” ‘00, maw? study, re you take an-| k I've al ort of sick.” ured him and or oady uch or he would worse than an- NTS, \Is INDIGESTION SSY, UPSET tolke Dave trieg of from ce th the comment ti Prom % no doubt, ig wat doen not digas nts and sours, stomach parm Bam y in the and, ath with neues A hearty appetite, vation, and without the \incomfort or a) waiting torts pe 1 decide to try Papetety nes ° | > a suit wear out coat and vest will For this reason with each suit, Now you, only, we € Dr. Evin i 'SHATIES Uh 713 FIRST Union B ‘| STATE DENTAL W 1 GOOD T be Ry Inakes the combine ewer nus, Union Bloek, 1”, 86 to ove Store, one Soor aoa |your drag a ©, M. vrewart salghet MONEY SAV Money The Albany, Monk We People's want please vice you. ithout chars® | Dougall vator or