The Seattle Star Newspaper, February 12, 1912, Page 4

4 “Press. Published Dally by Phe Star Publishing Co. Gre year, bi2s oe notifying this” the paper, or any attempt to aubatit Private Exchange Main 9400 and Independent 441 . \. Postofticn as second-clane matter S0 vents per month Up to six montha, Six ionth® bacribera to ‘The Seaiiie Star will confer a favor by [ office at once of any failure to secure prompt and remular, delivery of for alt. It is the desire of the manag: and complaints are given courteous prem, tock kindly “There are no blanks in marriage,” says a modern philosopher. = ways draw something.” von, nd ont know prod that “always.” Wi) Sauber eet eae 0, the boss raised our salury to $17 and donated a vacation. cen Teseotion of finances we found that we could afford to go to New York City avd tear that town wide open with a neat little savings ae count of $26.75, and we went Sunday morning iound us on Fifth avenue in our best ready-made, chest thrown out and a real 25-cent cigar in our face. The sidewalks were alive with people on thetr way to church, dreaged fit to kill, About every third couple was composed of « xreat, handsome young woman, magnificently attired and walking like a queen, and a little four-foot fellow in, broadcloth, patent leathers and eyegtass, with a shiny monkey's hat on his knob. Look at the beautifal girl and you would know a gg had sold her th, beauty and future happiness for money—a blank. Lok at the aarpering. walleyod, peanut-headed thing in trousers oy V's side, and you'd know that money was all there was of it, Ba bed bought the girl—a blank. Both had drawn nothing—double Indeed, marriage bas blanks, ‘The dominoes are scattered out before one of the table of life. There is a double-blank, ‘There are Blanks to every digital number. Seven of the chances surely have & Blank. Double-blank is drawn by those who bargain at the altar, who for material consideration. wag ‘even Gouble-dienks, even that lovely Fifth avenue girl and her simian consort, have their uses. Pools are the channel tights by which wise folke steer. eee ee ee ee ee FATHER WILL APPRECIATE THIS. A little lad wag desperately ill, but refused to take the medi- doctor had left. At last his mother gave him up. “Oh, will dic, my boy will die,” she sobbed. fs 4 voice spoke from the bed, “Don't ery, mother. Father‘ll sooa and he'll make me take it.”"—Woman's Home Com- Roeeeeesaens Stetestense RHR ‘The women, a million and a half of them, are going to vote for for resign this year. Stop minute and think about it— 000 women, WOMEN, many of them brand, span new voters, are oo lipg throw the weight of their franchise into the presidential Onty women who a0 homely that they can afford to be honest ‘a man’s looks has anything to do with their preference Bat it is true, nevertheless, et ist i i & uu i e eS it almighty right when be says _, “the progressive dependent upon any man or group of men.” ‘The movement 4s a condition. It hae been arrived at through years injustice, oppression and betrayal of the people by men and croups rent and intrinsic force ft will roll om and grow power strength, but it will not deliquesce in keeping with the for OEATH rate of whites in Parama canal zone is now something I 5. Talk about health resorts! ° o ° . CLEVELAND sausage factory pays $11,000 dividends on $4,400 . Bust be using river water for the stuffing. o 0 6 “What are the three greatest calamities that can befall in a life time?” in a question they're trying to whet their brains on down East. ° eo oO SIR HENRY ITLIN, past president of the Royal College of Sur- @eens, surely bas stirred up the scieutific animals by claiming that can- Ger is a distinct animal. o 0 0 " AUTOGRAPH letters of Roosevelt's are down to $4 at New York art Bat you just wait til! Teddy signs his name to a letter telling he's going to fish or cut bait! o o © WHAT are the three greatest calamities that can befall in a life seen", girlie, but understand that it is another dance that's #0 for Gance halis that it has to be confined to high New York f NOICE UNDERTAKING PARLORS RQ N AND l At ¥ VION rst A ~ Madisor e 1 footbrau! Special E: fement Entertainers a pe eer '—Sillver toned E re MARRY Singer, —Piano Marv: ORCHESTRA. SAY YOU SAW IT IN THE STAR. THE STAR—MONDAY, She—And te there no danger? aay, Wile, im Kong your way ighty, irresistible tide of public sentiment, or It means! the | Would you mind giving mes® lift “Sure, Git in front of me sled and lot me git & good start. aa + eee NEEDED MORE WATER “And the name is to be" asked the suave minister, as He ap proached the font with the precocious armful of fat and flounces. “Augustus Philip Ferdinand Codrington Chesterfield Liviagston Snooks.” “Dear me! (turning Mr. Hawkins, if you please.” He-—-One takes just about same chances one would getting married. to the sexton) “a little more water, THM A FIRST SIGN “It's beginning to look like Christmas at our house” “Why? “1 found my clean shirts on the Moor thia morning and the drawer ich they're usually kept filled with opera bags and Irish crochet.” Free Press, PRACTICAL WOMAN * “Ah, kind friend,” said the moraiiat, “it is deeds, not words, that “Ob, I don't know,” replied the woman, “Did you ever send « telegram T° -—Tit-Bits. TOO LONG Druggist—Here is something that will cure you whes everything ut to wait till then —Boston Evening “Do you mean to tell me that you believe women are able to bear up more heroically than men are under torture” “I do. Where is there & man who could we: for a day?’—Chicago Record-Herald. USELESS EXPENSE “Going abroad again? “No,” reptied the indolent citizen, a tight corset even “What's the use “Do you think your sister would, She—1 think marriage should be like to afide down hill with me?” — [like sliding down bill—just one “Surest thing you know. She's! round of happiness. 80 fond of sliding down bill she} He—Some say it’s more like drag- don't care who she's with ging the sled back up the hilt. IMPOSSIBLE, THOUGH “You are going to inherit all my money,” said the rich old man. “Yes,” sobbed the youth. “1 wish to goodness | could fix it so that you could also inherit my ability to take care of it,” was the old man’s last expression.—De- trolt Free Press. rEg THIRTY DAYS OF CHEER The Doctor—How is the patient this morning? The Patient's Wife--1 think he's better, but he seems to be worrying about something The Doctor—Hum! Yes. Just teli him I won't send it for a month. That ought to freshen him up some.—New Orleans Times Democrat. SENATORIAL ORTHOGRAPHY Senator Guggenheim came ont of one of the senate lobbies the other day with a frown on bis face. e ‘ve just lost $5 to Nixon,” he said. “I bet him there was only one ‘gin exaggerate, and he won. And the worst of it is, Nixon wanted to bet on the or ‘« himself, and only took the other side because it was the only side left New York World, THE MEAN THING “She's the meanest woman I know.” “What's the matter now?" “I offered to give her servant $2 a week more to come to work for me, id would you believe it, she met the raise and kept the maid hi Detroit Free Press. NOW, THEN! TWO OF A KIND. “T suppose your sister has forgot ten me, hasn't she?” “T guess not.” “What do you mean by upsetting “Why, does she ever speak of]me when I'm on my way to call on me your sister?” “Sure. Only dis mornin’ she she was upset, too, when spoke of how lucky she shook you} you phoned that you were goin’ when she did.” to call. AND FATHER AGREED Home study for Tommy had just begun, and he found it ‘to apply himself to regular hours. At bedtime one evening his fat c ‘Tommy, I am not at all pleased with the report your mother gives me of your conduct today.” eis “No, father, I knowed you wouldn't be, and I told her so, but she went right ahead an’ made th’ report. Just like a woman, ain't it?’— National Food Magazine. NO, INDEED a Miron is a cold snap?” mornings and making the fires; only it isn't a snap.” —Houstoa Fost. 9 PEBRUARY 12, 1912. '6,500-Mile Leap Year Wedding of “Chocolate. ; =, y i broken in 1 | When you stop to figure what you would bave had if such andjthe Whitney sich & thing had not happened you) known Lilian Poll for three are making matters just that much | gy worse, “We're here because we're here be] Whereupon cause we're here because Is what some follows like to sing when someone buys the beer. Missouri statesmen are learning to dance. Its « safe bet that the public will pay the fiddler. Trouble tx that old ‘guy’ comes around to tell you that 74 then, haven't a mortgage on happin How IT Was. ere ithe belated pedestrians So'dier’s”’ Any New Yorker will explain, as most natural, that a fellow with something more than sawdust un der his bonnet whould want to bike far, far away from that dear old soporifie town called Philadelphia, when he is about to do something that really counts, And who ia there to way that figures are not an important subject, matrimonial ly speaking~-bog pardon, we mean, who is there who will not admit that matrimony is @ supject that figures importantly In this particular ease, the fig- ures are set down at 6,500 miles for the matrimonial leap—from Phila delphia to Portland, Ore, and re turn, Percy Wheadon, manager of Opern Co, having eure, lenly decided that it would be quite a delightful thing to get married, startled when he put on hin ewiftest gait and rushed through the main streets to the depot, catching the 7:45 limited that might, It was done. Bri and eerly Friday morning, Febru ary 2, 1912, Mine Lilian Poll, prima donna with “The Chocolate Sol fier.” .now playing at the Moore theatre, but visiting at Portland received the first intimation that her sweetheart was in town tn these words: . “Let's get married now.” Tt came over the telephone. Be- fore she had time to express her surprise at his appearance in the Webfoot city, Percy, happy and smiling. arrived at the botel in a taxi. Well, tn entire disregard of the proverbial Friday hoodoo, they got married that same afternoon. Now it may be that the where- fore of the Philadetphia to Portland leap can be truly accounted for in the New Yorker's explanation, But does not account for Whee don's return to Philadelphia after honeymoouting only three days. So The Star interviewer bravely put the inquiry to the pretty singer “Weil” she ‘aughéd—and she laughs delightfully between those rows of sparkling ivoriee—“sup- pose you explain it that, since it’s Wheadon How did yo’ all get yo’ nose | quit busted?" “I done slipped down an’ plumb lit_on my back.” “But, name o° goodness, sab! * and her eyes twinkled | Kastern Pretty Leading Lady; Here’s the ‘, ERE LILIAN Pot Wheadon spent years on leading /Wheadon first met her, newspapers before he bas never played ip and mischievously, “it|graduated into the more lucrative |Dut “The Caocolate may be explained that 0, enh, an’ needer was Brud-| wit) do” jor Jones.” THINGS WE SELDOM SEE. A hen that lays. A truthful fisherma: An office seeking “Unconstitutiona applies to ev SAVE THIS ery argument under the sun except | t the question of whether Special Privilege has the right to make you work for {t or whether you have th right to make Special Privilege go to work The girls that want mother to/ Wake anu call them early also ox pect that mother will have the breakfast all ready. A man who does not believe in perpetual motion never had to buy shoes for 4 little boy. A woman may marry the quietest man in the world, and yet find out that the children don’t take after him. PLETE. « * * There ought to be a law & ® compelling circus parades to & # BO past the school house 7 TRKHRRAEHRE RE No child ever gots to the age of five without thinking he knows bow to Improve the wall paper. When the engineer does not got killed: the railroad company has an awfal time locating the blame for the wreck Couldn't Have Been Counsel—Tell me, was not the de- fendant in the habit of talking to himself when alone? Witness—I'm sure I don't know. Counsel—You don't know? And yet you were intimate friends. Why don’t you know? Witness——Because I was never with him when he was alone.—Lon don Opinion. urets “They say he's come into a lot of money.” | “Iw that so? have marry Free Press, 1 could Detroit Dear me! him once,” A Big Difference. “iL have .a remarkable history,” began the woman who looked like a possible client “To tell or to yer cautiously sun. New York Eve. A Great Advantage. The teacher {n elementary mathe. matics looked hopefully about the room. “Now children,” she said, “1 you answer my next question.” The small pupils sat eagerly awaiting it, wide-eyed atid in some instances open mouthed, 7 “Which would you rather have, three bags with two apples in each bag, or two b with three apples in each bag sked the teacher. “Three bags with two apples in each bag,” said a boy in one of the lnst.seats, while the class still de- bated as to the best answer, “Why, Pav asked the teacher. “Because there'd be one more bag to. bust,” announced the practical young mathematician.—Tit-Bits, Trou! Waters. Capt. Joe ers, & Kansas ft- tefney, tried ease at Council Grove not long since. The captain Was up against it, and he turned on the tears and let them flow un- restrained while depicting the woes of his client. It was a great and tearful speech. In the t eigenw | of it a brother attor- ney who was sitting, by was ob- served taking off his shoes, “What are you doing that for?” asked another lawyer, “By gum!" replied the lawyer who was removing his shoes, “I'm getting ready to wade out. It’s right sloppy round here already— and Joe ain't half through!"—Satur- day Evening Post, | | wish you to think carefully before RB each time and use of one to two teaspoonful ih mgei end at bed time This should be used py: the first sien ba matic pains, sem Ration of pain ention to these mach as Aav romptt . - you can field of managing successful com-| one isn't located on yo' back." /never tell what a newspaper manic operas. ing a rapid rise in three shert It was while Miss Poli/from a beginner to the first began her stage career three |!ady's part. iets years ago as understudy to the’ wet prima donna in “The Chocolate gesgury, Soldier,” when it was having tts Bit first fun in New York, that! Dance at Dre Miver Villiage B5e | Gold Crowns WHY PAY MORE? We use nothing but the best of material, perform leasly and guarantee each and every filling, crown, for is fears Fillings Platina id Alloy Fillings $150 | Full Set of Teeth Abel i Be Heavy Gold Crown S2S | Beet Pistes --.- We make careful examinatios free of cost or obligation. Ewstimat UNION 5x Hate ‘Third end Pike sts. 8 te S150 te BALLARD BUSINESS DIR BE GUIDED BY THE ADVERTISEMENTS BELOW. WATCH NUMBERS. LOOK FOR SPECIAL FEATURES THESE P O VERTISING. THEY ARE RELIABLE AND WILL MEET YOUR EVE ARCHAMBEAULT CO., Inc. Do You Trade With Us? The more you trade with us the larger we will grow, Show us that you will trade here and we will get the goods —— BALLARD BAKING C Phone Ballard ¢14 BALLARD BAKING CO. 6218 24th Ave QUALITY anD dimnneniiiipiaeiemaanmmeininieaninattd ROYAL DYE WORKS SPECIAL oa S100 and 81.25 ROYAL DEE WORKS. Phone Ballard 76. DAIRY od and pressed, v $1.00 THE ROYAL DAIRY 6426 Leary Av Phone 16 CASCADE DRUG CO. a bottle of Liver Oi a with Hypophosphites Price 400 and a bottle WOOD AND COAL ¥. J. MENSEL WOOD AND COAL Cedar Wood » Speciaity Our Delivery is the Best in Ballard The Mallard 216 } EMBALMERS Calls Might or Day, Prom Attention W. 5. MAYFIELD PHONE BALLARD 9 Prices in Beach. W. &Tth. Residence, et . Phone Ballard 803. Ballard Wash. and) WE ARB MONEY SAVERS TOR | You } : : | | ) __ Cc. W. BRI Phone for Quick Design GROCER Remember that if you want @v0d Goods at Lowest tor Cash L. C. Hotchkiss Is the Place All the seasonable staple and fancy groceries GIVE HIM A TRIAL 1808 W. Sinty-thire. Phone Bal 401. Branham’s New Store 0403 3tn4 HW. W. Phone Bal. 994 } ai ly Olive Of, Ballard Eggs, Net- ted fem Spuds Quick, Prompt Service Use the Phone—-Ballard 231. GROCERY 25th Av. and 67th BALLARD HARDWARE CO Ps Ballard Sheet Metal 0. T. Simpson ©. B. 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