The Seattle Star Newspaper, January 6, 1912, Page 4

4 sii Phones: Private Exchange Main 9400 and Independent 441 Meihber of Waited Preas. Published Dally by The #tar Publishing Co. __ Bn Beaittic, Wawh., pomtotficn as wecond-clana matter is #0 cents per month up to @ix montha, Bix mo , $4.96, ubscribara to Tho Hoattle Office at once of any failure #iven courteous an: heb rere are led to arrive any ni oe, Main 9400 or Ind. wil counter a tavor by notifying this ure prompt and re delivery of rhe 8 ‘ prompt attention, Clroulation Dep He a few kind words for the navy—that part of our glorious Davy Mak Canes’ Tesstos and those cute little squeerable plug hats when it isn't wearing medals, brass butt and stera on-duty frowns, We refer to “the higher ranking oncish Roa admirals and rear ad- Ca} 8 and rear captains and such, aban et the Navy Meyer shows, In his annual report, that a @rosa outrage has long been perpetrated upon our “higher ranking Officers,” in that, when they were In port and wanted to uphold the @ignity of the nation before the higher ing eyes of other officers, they've had to pay for the pate de fole gras, glace mering and champagne out of the!r own pockets. Meyer proposes to relieve our overworked higher ranking officera of this crass burden by giving each higher ranker a fixed sum——of our money~-to draw on for “official entertainments.” t Mr. Meyer's scheme has some beauty, at first glance, but wouldn't he be overstraining the higher rankers Wouldn't drawing their pay and drawing their appro) ment” be too much labor? Oh, we're not kicking about the extra money, We've got to shoot our dignity into warlike foreign higher rankers, but wouldn't it be judi- cious to spread the labor of Sawns ae fixed sume — pods ‘Why not let the gunners, stokera aud common seamen «it, invest it tn better food and drink and clothes? We might hit the king: of dignity by letting all these common men dress like higher rank- and not put the onerous burden of upholding the dig- wholly upon the poor officers. G for Cousin Taft has got a mighty fine chance to make 18 holes at political golf Pe and we propose that he shall not reason of inattention on our part. Nes in his filling Justice Harlan’s place on Again, it would-—La a presidential possibility, and we're ce make Bill sweat more than his pointer, We simply hate ibblicking for a two-inch hole, took a risky jump which would have meant if he had missed the landing, and he did it greater than another “: x4 his neighbor at the risk of his would soar higher than th ih; the strong man would lift a ; the acrobat would attempt a more it than his rival dares. tal and physical energy in the used for the betterment of the 0 out of business. to 4 number of “false” things simply and vital necessities is like saying that, y taking her food through a quill or pat business into farming, or business men wil! epigrammatic chunk of philosophy is uttered by Burt Hall of of the Council of Grain Exchanges. Here is just action to consumption is steadily decreasing. irmer is failing to meet the demand we make tials of our food supply. bill of what once happened to a cub reporter. “doing markets” on an evening paper published in & certain North Central state. (incidentally, he was doing this at $6 a week.) He lived in a little back room in an unpretentious private house and took his meals at the Busy Bee lunch counter, By limit- ing his breakfast to 10 cents, and bis supper to 15, and by cutting out his dinner altogether and hav- ing bis last summer's suit dyed a guaranteed fast black, he managed to eke out @ sort of an existence. He had been at work but a fortnight. He war practically a ‘anger in the town. He had met nobody outside those he saw at the office and in the commission houses he visited on his beat. So far as he knew, hardly half a dozen people out- side this narrow circle of men kuew of his existence, Then he came home late one night, after having covered some little night assignment, to be met by the jandlady with the amazing information that a “beautiful young lady” had called for him earlier in the evening. He said {t was impos- sible that any beautiful young lady should call for him, but the landlady {nsisted. No, there waa no mistake about it. She had called for him @nd asked for him explicitly, ing his first name. without leaving any message. That was all there was of the incident. Nothing further developed She had gone away Be | 17. ARE YOU, BY PUSHING | ~\) OVERGRO <r THE STAR, SATURDAY, JANUARY 6, 1912 YOUR NEW COASTER WORKS LIKE A CHARM, KEEP ‘ER GOING. KIDS. SHOWING THEN How To Ri NOW GET OFF, You WN frat . 44 Y ,jalr currents ‘| thetr fellow creatures.—-Cicero. WOULDN'T HAVE RECOGNIZED IT ir, 1 honesty itself. ee insanepertoncett 1 imagonide i looked different.— ing Transcript. PURE THEORY “What ever became of Dobson? Didn't he study medicine? “Yes; but he doesn't scour to be making a practice of it"—Smart Set Magazine. RRR REAR e ee * JEALOUS NATURE “A fireman is no spark for me"— The words were pretty Mame's— “I couldn't keep the lad, you see, Away from other flames.” Boston Trasscript ee ee ee ee ee ee ee ee Mugs Pros Boston EB eheeeeeeee THE DEPTHS OF MISERY Downcast Alaskan Prospector—1 it ain't got the heart t’ dig. ‘cause with every ounce 0 gold I takes out o’ the earth, I decrease the purchasin’ power of the dollar!-—Puck. NOT ALWAYS LOADED TO sa geabteacd say that Innguage is the vehicle of thought, you Ww Keene—Yes, but a lot of times it travels empty, —Boston Evening DOUBTFUL COMPLIMENT “have you and your sat themteh r had any spate amateur theatricals?” “Well, the audience applauded wildly when she died. SHE WAS WISE in Ae | wouldn't wear the nasty things.” NOT LIKE HER mb. 1 proposed to her Jast night, she said ‘no,’ and I said ‘good night.” “Foolish boy. Don't you know that you must never take a woman's ‘no’ for an answer,” NO DANGER FOR HIM “Does your little daughter take after your wite?” , nearly 3 yerre fm that regard, The girl went Into the night, The cub reporter went @a doing the markets. Presently the cub reporter was promoted to the government bulld- {mg beat. And after a while he was fired and then he began to drift city to city and from desk to desk. Now he happens to be pound- the typewriter that types these words. And so the years have . And to this day the girl who called for him that night remains a ind mystery to that cub reporter. He has no glimmer of an as to who she was. He doesn't know whether it was the Skirt of Romance that touched his life so lightly that night, or merely that of the commonplace—say the skirt of a book agent. He only oes that she called for him, that the landlady vowed she was beautiful— @nd further than that he knows nothing at all, And, of course, he never will know anything further than that bout it now. For this is one of life’s little mysteries of a peculiar, whimsical order—one of the jokes that Chance plays upon each of us oy or twice in a lifetime, perhaps—the pith and point of such jokes ing a fact that of the utter insolubility of the problem that is pro- v w “Some seclentists claim a $10 bill will accumulate 89,000 microbes in two weeks.” “Don't worry me any. I never have one long enough for it to ac- cumulate more than six or seven.” Mr. Newwed—What have been trying to make? Mrs. Newwed (tearful: ‘you Mr. Newwed—Ah! a fallen ai cake, eh? y) Angel cake, but ft wouldn't ree ee tke! io yor nove AND OID JOSH WISE SAYS: “Ort Fride mush is se clum- he'd bark his » — } Now that they have mapped ‘the for aeroplanes, the it thing we will hear of ts pat- medicine signs posted along the ites. Diaz has ordered ten mortar bat jos. The insurgents will con- to throw him the bricks, Ex-Hoss Croker's gems of advice how to run our cities do noth- more than remiod us that he ldn't take our advice on how to run a city, elth They have a plan to tiluminate Grant's tomb with electric lights, Strangers reaching Now York on the ferry will think it is one of the ‘The Prise = " rk drawing contest for this wee Harsh male oarth-betoe declaree|cigang Inst uieht, A keen interest the suffraget should wear @ mark) was dispinyed by the Circle's young which she can be known. It 48] artist members, and their ability of at present, Sho wears a spring! senning was surprising, Grace hat, Lovelace of Arlington, Wash, was Her prize has been Men resemble the gods in noth-/matied to he: ing so much as in doing good to — Contest ‘ What's your favorite pet, whether One of the socialist mayors Just} you have one or not’ Maybe it's a elected ia a millionaire. Another is/ dog, ont, rabbit, chicken or some & preacher. And one socialist who] other dumb creature. Why do you was nearly elocted mayor is @ pro-jiike this particular one the best? hi Ten years ago people|Got a good reason? Well, the send- thought the soctalistsa were a hobolers of the best three reasons will party. HG CAR WAS CROWDED ANO THE SHOPPERS , WeRe STANDING Of EACH OTHERS FEET, WHEN A HEAVY SET LADY CRIED ovT,| “\E THE Conoucter Kio Down FARES, WHAT wee “Twa MoToR-<op ¢ i KNOW I(T Onin CosT A DOLLAR Bacause THE PRICK TAG 1S STRLON IT, . The next ancient riddie to be solved is, “How oid is Ann?” | Roosevelt says the divorcees ihould be driven out of Reno. So y ate, Theodore, so they are— soon as they are given a decree, to make room for the next nload. { A Brain Teaser | “I have @ great circulation build- or for your magazine,” cried the “I don't believe in fercing schools ‘My husband has @ pair, but 1] for children,” said Governor Wood- row Wilson ata dinner in Trenton. “A child that knows at 4 as much as ordinarily it would know at 8, fs, to my mind, about as useful an object as Calhoun Clay's watch. “That's a fine watch you've got Calhoun,” said a friend. good goer? ‘A good goer? said Calhoun Clay, ‘Well, you bet your life it's ® good goer. Why, it can do an hour im half the time.’” + Aina 6 sis Splint taingt 4 * * Much Out of Little * ® The Lady—How much milk * *® doos the old cow give a day, © * Tom? * * Tom—About eight quarts, © ® ma’am, fy * * Tho Lady—And how much *® of that do you sell? *® Tom—About twelve quarts, & * ma‘am.—Sketch. 7 *® ERR ERE BEER Natural (in Nevada)-—What * * Traveler #ay more than |#eems to be the matter with this train? Conductor—Trouble with the couplings, sir, You see, we are coming into Reno,—Philadelphia Record. Gave Him a Jar “am I required to exchange wed- ding gifts in the department from they were purchased?” Not at all,” sald the floor walker. . “Thank you. I would like to ex- change a rose jar for a frying n.”-~-Washington Herald. H A Knockout |. Wife (complainihgly) — You're not like Mr. Knagg. They've been arried twenty years, and Mrs nage says her husband is so Well, he Just as Deadly “But that dueling ts against the ge the scoun- hunting at. euch get a prize, Give » good reason for your lov- ing of some pet; a good reason why thia certaly one makes the best pet of all, and your chances are good. Letters must be received by next HONOR ROLL. ida Ruppert. Eva Knapp. Margaret Bowen, Gertrude Widlund. Willie Johnson. Hazel Piatner. Eleanor Dober. Theima Hoberson. Henrietta Hawkins Lenore Schoenheir. Ruth Bartiett. Lily Hempel. Margueritte Landis. Cecilia Gritz. Oscar Johnson. Alvin Bjornsen. Clarence Dullahant. Ruth Havok, ake ae eae kenhane ATTENTION! Will Inez Lindwal!l please % send Uncie Jack her address ® immediately. * Ra eeaeRanhath Dear Uncle Jack--I am a little girl 9 years old and am in the Fourth grade. I have a little brother and sister younger than I. We live 16 miles from Seattle, not far from the Snoqueismie falls. We live on a ranch of 160 acres. We have 26 cows and 3 horses. Datry- ing ts what all the people here do. My little brother and I would like to fotn the Circle. Your little niece, THELMA HALVERSON. Stillwater, Wash. SENDS THANKS * * * * eeeeeites MARY MONAGLE Dear Uncle Jack— received the chock you sent for my Christmas letter and I am sure there are some that would like to thank dear Unele Jack for the help it brought. I thank you for the cheek, but, oh, Uncle Jack, I thank you ten times more for the encouraging letter you sent me. I am sending you my pio ture. Wishing you and all the nieces and nephews many Happy New Years, Your loving niece, MARY MONAGLE. Buckley, Wash. How About it? for you sure Harry loves you, “Well, he lets me select his cra- vats."—-Baltimore Evening Sun. Kesrsct Kitt oa ~ ta a My S A good child, a good chil As 1 suppose you'll be, Will never laugh nor smile, At the tickling of the knee. GARVIN’S CO BY REV. JOSEPH L. GARVIN, B.D. M. A Pastor of the First Christian Church, Scattie, 1 AM FOR ORGANIZED OPTIMISM 1 AM SURPRISED that we mist, desyondent and haven't heard more about the ad-|always when he gets a dress of Mr. J. C. Higgins, given bunting for the thorn,” at the Ad Club dinner last Tuesday thet some of our citizens noon. It contained a message ey-| seeking misery where it ery Seattleite should read. found THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE ORGANIZED OPTIMI might advantageously make it a that there are many p publicity pamphlet. Agencies ex-|#sme kind, and it I plolting the clty would do well to| With them. They are th distribute It widely, the city. Like Kalen B. L. SWEZEA stirred up a bor-|they are occupied with net's nest of enthusiasm when SEATTLE {8 NOT in ff loosened the Potlatch Bug among | yy > 17, 12 team the business men. When a man) pr ltssins gave 12 t¢ spares no expense to make concrete | PY°r) Feason wae & \truch was a revelation of Care which when crystallized reeourees: Fy THE SIGHT CITY MIGHTILY, he deserves ap-| pusiness met st tas eae prectation. After the glowing pos-|approving the arguments ters have faded and the songs and me that right here and doings are but lingering memortes,|have the spirit of tis this brief, scintt ing, truth-ham-! reasons for it and the o mrering, man-roust talk, with its | of i: necessary for success, DAGGER SENTENCES, will con-| 1 AM WITH 8RO' tinue to reveal Seattle's true re-/find the earth not grey sources and greatness to the minds | heaven not grim but fair of of all who heard it. 1 stoop? I pluck a posy. Do 1T 18 RINGING in my care yet./and stare? All's bine.” i: It fits the clever slogan of the Ad| LET THIS BE your New Clab—Organised Optimism. When) greeting. Some things ¢ optimism has such a basis as our|done singly. We must act. city then it must express itself in| Let us organize our opti an organized way. then the blessings which “HOW FOOLISH is the pessi-'city will cover you. “You don’é know my brudder “Ferry vell, indeet—1 nefer der von vich hass 4 face like a fish “Yess, dot iss der von. Vell, I yant to tell you aboudt looked ad me drough a plate glass vindow der uder day, und I for a aquarium.” oe SOUTHERN REPUBLICAN DELEGATE ARE IN THE MARKET AGAIN, SAYS GILSON GARDNER. BY GILSON GARONER KNOXVILLE, Tenn., Jan. 5.—The republican party of the (there is alleged to be such a thing) has been heard from; that of it has. Some enterprising dealers in. the commodity known as the ern republican delegate have actually journeyed all the way to ington and made their offers to tite managers of La Follettes paign. They are quite frank about the thing. “It will cost you about $1,200 for a delegation from my state,” one man. “We can give just as Good a delegation as any! There will be another delegation, of course, but ours will be as as theirs.” Another man who trades in Southern delegates put the need! money on another ground. “We have some papers that are weak,” he said, “and money be needed to help them along.” J Money. is required, also, for the rent of halls in which the ventions are held, for printing ballots and credentials, and, |portant, for railroad fare and hotel bills for the delegates. exponsee gh in past years always been paid for Southern by some ®andidate, There no real republican party in the South. The Sow tributes only a trifling vote to the repubjican nominee for and it is a hoary scandal and a dismal farce that there should | things fn a republican national convention as Southern delegates, J | ‘The federal officeholders are the nucleus for what pre |is of a republican party in the So: The postmasters, inty jenue officers, collectors of customs, the marshals, the officers @ federal, courts and the federal judges themseives—all holding @ and ing government salaries by grace of the man who ¢ to be president—this is the republican party of the South. j their orders from the White House—or from the Frank Hite | Whatever administration happens to be in power—they call con’ to which thoy name the membership and these conventions | delegates who travel to the city where the national convention & and there take part, as if they were representing genuine voter genuine party ‘Therefore, a great majority of these Southern republican are merely a company of morcenaries But mercenaries are unreliable at best. They go where calls them. If no one bids a higher price, they are liable t@ bought, but that all depends. So that is the situa¥on which I find in the South, The mercenaries are*wavering. ‘The officeholders can't afford to come the open and break with Taft's administration. They would jobs which run from now on to March 4, 1913. But they ate they will not be called upon to make the sacrifice required by TRS refomination, They have their eyes on the running of thelr ing the following four years. omil, don'd you, Osgar?” equaintet mit him. EAST AND WEST ‘What is it makes the West wild? it is the impression in the Hast that the West te Louls Post-Dispatch. # THE WRONG MAN “Just a minute, old chap. You're just the man I want to “No, I'm not. 1 can’t apare a cent.”—Washington Herald, STAR WANT ADS BRING RESULTS