The Seattle Star Newspaper, November 20, 1911, Page 4

© and Independent 441 Poblished datly by The Siar Publishing Co. Wash. pom matter the Bix montha Hie etween the Grindstones Enact laws to relieve the people from bondage to the corpo: fations, and the higher courts wipe out the law Establish a court that decides for the people as against the Corporations, and the higher courts wipe out such decisions. The Pacific coast shippers of citrus fruits got from the interstate commerce commission a decision lowering railroad fates. It looked like a tremendous boom for thousands of owers. It was at least a prospect of relief from robbery. ‘aft’s court of commerce promptly punctured that decision The people of Spokane and other inland cities got a favor- able decision from the same commission in the matter of long and short hauls by the railroads. They celebraged with en thusiasm, for it meant more business and larger profits to thou- nds of shippers and lower prices to millions of consumers. ww ‘Taft's court of commerce knocks the life out of that de- cision. Big Business knew what it was about when it howled for treation of that court of commerce. Taft knew what he was about when he appointed that court of commerce. When laws and commissions are secured for the people, @ppoint courts that will emasculate them. That's the scheme. Messrs. Shippers and Consumers, the cards are stacked against you. ‘Taft will not let reduction of tariffs reduce the cost of living. His courts will not let any agency reduce the ofits on watered capital, which you surely pay. You are be- Teter the grindstones of corporation greed. Rise and recall the servile Taft and his whole galaxy of Packed courts! Rudolph Blankenburg, the reform mayor of Philadelphia, has a public-spirited wife, with ideas on the question of mu- Nicipal government. After election, he referred the reporters to her, and she cheerfully remarked that now she would have @ chance to carry her ideas into effect. It is inferred that she will be mayor, or, at least, the power behind the mayor's hand. Of course, we shall hear a lot about “petticoat govern- ment” if this happens, but if it turns out that Philadelphia— pt and contented”—shall become a shining light of Progress and humanity, the laugh will be on the other side. Philadelphia certainly’ needs something different. Beefsteak Forever How would you like to buy a juicy beefsteak, drop it into & solution of chemicals, then calmly carve off a fresh steak every once in a while for th erest of your life? That's grow- ing meat artificially. as Prof. W. H. Lewis of Johns Hopkins says something like @hat can be done. “Causing cellular substances to grow in- definitely outside of the organisms to which they originally be- fonged,” is the technical way they speak of it. We're forsit—everybody will be for it! Beef trust! Down with the Observations + PROGAIC, hardened old govern: where in thunder did you put my mt actually made railroad in Call- | collar button? build “AROUND old sycamore oo 0 “BIGGER, bigger, bigger!” is ax the very early days. important a cry today as that of “ ooo | speed A huge new mogul engine trance . | easily hauled 120 steel gondola cars, Oy ot Be. Catherine oo Mt giant | 4888 feet in length, loaded. with high up in"the wall, and visitors | Cal, the whole weighing 16,888,000 npc lp ap Tal What | Pounds, at a rate of 13 miles an ‘Gm ideal piace to live on the first 293 ee ne GERMAN inventor fas a new = me fabric 0 buoyant that clothes made LATEST thing In long-distance | from it will keep wearers afloat in letters are those dictated Into | the water. oo 4 . Not for married | ° though. Imagine a wife at| NEWLY patented -wax paper seashore opening the morning | “ean” holds liquids indefinitely, and can be shipped like a tin can or mail only to hear faroff John Hen- | nr from which surv were run Makes delicious home- baked foods of maximum quality at minimum cost. Makes home baking a pleasure The only Baking Powder made from Royal Grape Cream of Tartar ONLY CUT RATE DENTISTS IN SEATTLE ARE GIVING AWAY FREE—$20,000 in Dental Work CALL AND RECEIVE A COUPON We Use Nothing but the Best Material, PAINLES® EXTRAC. TION FREE. ALL WORK GUARANTEED FOR 12 YEARS $10 Tecth ...9.... 506 BP | $8 Gold Crowns . eee $15 Sets Tooth UNIVERSITY AND SECOND AVENUE wtearce 207 University Street, Opposite 8 THE STAR—MONDAY, SHE KNEW. “" “slong to a brass band, Mra. Blow?” «, What put that idea] “Big mon are the better lovers.” into your head How do you figure that?” “Well, mamma said you were al Why, they're so demonstrative ays blowing your own horn, so I} {n thelr lovemaking.” thought you must belong to a brass ever judge band.” lover by hie a RRAKRARRARAERARARAPRORRARRR RARE WHO DIED CUSSING CARNEGIE, BURIED IN POMP BY STUDENTS * PITTSBURG, Pa, Nov. 20.—With a band playing a funeral % dirge, 200 students of the Carnegie Technical school paid thelr last respects to Mike, the school’s parrot. Mike, whose vocabu lary consisted of “Carnegie” and a cuss word, both of which he used continually, died Saturday ‘The body then lay in state with candles burning around the bier, The funeral was held in the school auditorium and T. KR Critchiow of Pittsburg delivered an oration on Mike, the school and profanity, To @ grave in Schenely park, overlooking Forbes field, the bird was borne, Immediatély following the funeral Procession came a student carrying a placard, reading Twenty-one dollars gone to h-——," apparently referring to the cost of the obsequies. * * MIKE, * * * * a \* a * * * * * * * RERKERA RHEE EERE ERA A BAD MISTAKE “That. young lady is angry with me reception. I couldn't see ber face under her big hat.” “And you mistook ber for another young lady, eh? that to get mad about.” “I mistook her for a plano lamp. FEMININE AMENIT Nothing in Washington Herald. NO DRONE. ' " Bl diver _* m= “T am engaged to a strugating | “Did Percy ever ri ? young lawyer.” “He told me that he bad moving “Dear me! Is he trying that)plctures taken of himself while hard to get away?” brushing his bat to prove it.” BUDDING GENIUS Knicker--You think Johnny will grow up to be president? Proudpop—Yes; that boy can eat anything. York SKIPPING TO THE LAST CHAPTER “Have you tead the Bible?” asked the serious young man, “Well,” replied the frank young woman, “I can't say that [ have read all of tt.” “I see; you have read Genesis and Revelations.” “How do you know?” “That's the way a woman always reads any book.”—Clereland Plain Dealer. AND HIS GHOST Tho Doctor—You'd searcely believe ft, but the other night some thief broke into a vacant house belonging to a friend of mine and car ried away an ornamental firepiace. The Professor—Great seizer!—Chicago Tribune “George is a slick one.” “How's that?” “He's teaching his rich old uncle to fly an aeroplane A HINT. l FROM EXPERIENCE, “Yowererseem to have a pret Mr. New Wed—A wife is a gift ty bad cold?” from heaven. We get the sunlight “Yea; I'm #o hoarse that if any-|and gentle rain from heaven. one should atteyipt to kiss me I Mr. Old Wed-—And also the shouldn't be able to scream.” thunderstorms. THE MODERN WAY The prodigal had returned, “Father,” he said, “are you going to kill the fatted calf?” on iz —— ~ s man, looking the youth over carefully—"po; jet you live. But I'll put you to work and t pd rag MM iy r id train some of that off FORCE OF HABIT “What did Senator. Lark say when the reporters informed him that his wife had brought suit for divorcee?” ““Millions for defense, but not one cent for alimony,’ he thun- dered, rising in his most impressive manner,”—Puck, May~-1 wonder how Cholly mana to keep that wide-brimmed straw hat on in a wind like this? Fay—Vacuum pressure.—Judge's Library. It was after the distribution of prizes at a Sunday school, “Well did you get a prize?” asked Johnny's mother, answered Johnny; “but I got horrible mention,”. First Ave. Hofbrau wae: Try Out the HOFBRAU Tonight We have an especially pleasing program for your entertainment. No one knows what “HOFBRAU HOSPITALITY” REALLY 1s until they have tried it. GET Ti F- BRAU PATRON, ee Tit-Bita, Peeeteeeeeeeeeeeee® The episode happened at a '‘ eM: NOVEMBER 20, Nellie Got a Dollar a Week Raise for Every Pound can't help getting fatter 08, ind exercises every | MG JOSH WISE BAYS “Quite a few people relish fun that Is poked at a laundry girl. Yet nearly every laundry girl te working to sup. port somebody. Where'ethe jaugh in that?” Just as sure as the next perform. ance of “The Country Boy,” which opened at the Metropolitan last comes around, Nelile Fill P pudding and such “ehuck right on the stage. She's the boarding house keeper as that, somewhere ellie lacks didn’t tip the beam e the $00 mark? Just two pounds of the is tee so tight, 1) Ure give the answer, r time we have @ ‘s hot a squeeze Now why who'll Wee Girt at First. When sho first started playing in “The Country Boy,” she was only a bit of a mite, weighing 226 pounds. “You've got to be at least 260," Henry B. Harris, the producer, told |her; “a good landiady would be ashamed to be undor that, you know.” Nelile protested “Tl add $1 a week to your pay envelope for every pound you add,” Harris offere You're on,” replied Misa Fill and that's how eating real please? In win jam and when George Potato bas been arrest ed in St. Louls for smiling at girls fon the street. Case of potato with too many est Or too much potato masher? Letter writing began to be an art in 1036 B. C. But did not until the Thaw wArchibald letters appeared “Thowe Girls” was what! Hammerstein called their act There was a bunch of expectancy when thetr card was brought out In they came, simply dressed, each wearing a long pink sash, jsinging “The Traveling Man, gays the w York Tribune And The New York Sun comes right back with this “Buch simplicity of dress exelte the envy of Miss Gertrude Hoffmann ie and it also explains those pounds of good nature. It did't take her long to reach the /0 mark, but the habit got so well fixed that when she concluded that 26 a week extra was about Jenough, she disco that she could not cheek the steady growth ot ber girth Knows How to Reduce. know what will reduce my she said to The Star inter: viewer; “it's a diet of milk and plenty of walking. But did you ever see a Chicago girl who would be satisfied with that? The interviewer admitted he never did “And I've tried everythin continued Miss Fillmore. friends money, | Jost a pet canary bird, | bet on d an um- house, 1 bought a new hat on Friday, the 13th! even tried unre. quited fove, but | got.so much fun out of it that | grew fat- ter! “And now, I # so hard with laughter that you wondered what held the buttons on her waist, for she's the biggest, joliiest, notsiest, heartiest actress that has come to Seattle for ever #0 long, “I could fit very well for the side show with a circus, I've about resigned myself to the idea ting just a litte fatter every 1 go Turkish bath house ty now and then, lose about three pounds, and feel so pleased about it that I gain five pounds the jvery next day. So what's the use?” wit} “T weight The best way to get into print ta to do some sensational stint; the busy long-haired rhymster turns out verses by the that’s because there's ity he can find to rhyme with shore. ‘The fly hi thousand eyes And many a fimb; | That's why you must be quick To slaughter him. ppose,” she shook Prot. Freud says dreams are half-naked wishes. Sort of Dud- less Delusions, as It wear. Mark Twain said: “A beautiful sunset made Beranger a poet; @ mother's kins |Of get made Benjamin West an artist,| 497 and fifteen dollars a week makes us a journalist.” makes pretty iris prefer dope. Bread-making Hands, but most oes — PUDDIN'’HEAD. “Would you holler if I kissed your “| have such @ bad cold,” she sald. And be refused to take advan- of her helplessness. Wilting to Try. Mike—Pat, there's only thing will cure malaria- whiskey and quinine,” Pat (anxtously)—Where kin ye wet it? Mike—Th’ whiskey and quinine? Pat—No; malaria.—Tit-Bita Did you notice how moral the comic pages in the Sunday sup- plemonts are getting to be? Over in Montona they've discor ered & great fossil. Chauncey | ta, Depew, please write. Some folke just putter and think they're performing. wan that's Moat of the dairy lunches in New York are said to be owned by Standard Oil interests. eke reek ehhh he el * a—Henry, will I hab to ® on doin’ washin’ aftah # Wo'se married? * Henry—Sui eat, don't w keep eeeeeeee RRR EERE RE BR No Rehearsais. “How is your village band get ver! along with its rehearsals?” “We don't have rehearsa started right in giving band corts."-—Judge’s Library. As Chauffeurs Go. | “Their chauffour seems a sober careful fellow.” “Well, for the wages they pay they can’t well expect anything| else.”"—Milwaukee Journal. Howitt do you sle Jewett Hewitt to live? Jewett—I do my sleeping {n the} night. How many hours a day None. | But how do you manage | SERA RER ERR RR ee! * Here and There. * He—What do you women do * at your club? * She--Talk about the fault of you men. What do you do *, at yours? * He—Try to forget the faults * * of you women.—Boston Tran- * *® script. * hdindindn th daddies Maslin ta indin des eeeteeee There Is an Additional Security for You i] In the $409,000 capital of i this bank, H} © ‘This entire amount is a |] guarantee that your de- i] posit is safe—whether it be a Savings Account or a Time Certificate of De- posit, for three months, } six months or a year. Resources Over $700,000 United States Depository for Postal Savings The Bank for Savings Cor. Third Ave. and Pike St. play, and who ever saw a) good boarding house landlady who his later life. Caddy When Xmas gots here it's blamed few of us can show the of Flesh She Added; Tips the Scales at 300 Now NELLIE FILLMORE x SAFE Golfer (after several unsuccessful attempts to hit the ball)—If you laugh at me again, I'll knock your head off! You wouldn't know which clab to use. It appears that “Constant Reader® is in reality the constant writer, -The Bank an Adjunct To the School You know, of course, that what the child learns in school and at home becomes vastly important to him in Did you ever stop to think also of the importance of what he could learn in a bank? Suppose you open a small account for him in The Scandinavian American Bank. As soon as he is big enough, take him to the bank and let him make his own deposits. When he gets into arithmetic, show him the value of compound interest as applied to his own account, and teach him to build it up a little at a time from month to month and year to year. His account is certain to grow to a very substan- tial sum. 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