The Seattle Star Newspaper, October 18, 1911, Page 4

- THE SE, ay << _Prteate teas SEA RS BF mall, out of city, B0 conte per m omtn TLE STAR 0 and Independent 441 Sugar is one of the Champagne ... Automobiles ... Diamonds ..... Pearls It is a shame! But smiles at poverty and pain. Last He berries grow. October Nothing brains than r thin, and he doesn’t 't have to. tl Woman suffrage ever, and it’s a block of ger ooe MISSOURI! court bands dow her husband. ooo WITH leap year drawing the managin; ington are developing elaborate Signs upon a large number of tinguished bachelors in official °° the name may not become exti: ‘In Rome who is said to be hay with her foreign du! * pers are giving whole pages to Two-Minu SLAP—Here's a question all the animals had escaped—w' THUD—He'd have stopped SLAP—Correct. Now, would he pull a turnip? THUD—Not if he had to le: SLAP-—Again correct home-made aeroplane were to | call that? THUD—A housefly SLAP—Nope, you're wrong Sugar and Pearls Brains and Strawberries picked their strawberries as fast them to market, all in a bunch. “John Mack had an idea different from the covered his strawberries with straw to Late in August he removed the straw offers better MAN—A male biped who eats Gecision to the effect that a woman has an inalienable right to scold{opentng 466,000 acres of mammas of Wash. here's one Now I'll ask you this: commonest necessaries of life. Everybod: it. But how many of us drink cham- Ce paw maionaties, furs, diamonds or pearls? things are the luxuries of the rich. Now, see how the tariff duties bear on these va- +70 cent cent cent cent cent cent per . per oe per : per per . per The woman with six children who uses sugar is paying the cost of government for the woman who ‘wears furs, diamonds and pearls. WOMAN—A divine inconsistency who weeps at a thoughtless word, of the Massachusetts farmers as ible and rushed They got low prices, “berries, selling for 5 cents opportunity for the use of gs for folks to eat. If a man needs but a small piece of work very hard with his hands big dinner, lights a fat cigar and the United States is bounded on the east by the great plains, on the north by Puget sound, on the west by the Pacific ocean, on the south by Mexico, with some wide Wyoming, Colorado, Utah and Idaho constitute) tainly dovs take things easy with spider's web telephone ts one solid, contiguous block of woman suffrage, how- gaps een. imperial dimensions, too—big- many a nation. California is the latest to raise the flag of uni- versal suffrage. But she will not be the last. FOREST service is proving afgood might be done with that Great training school for young money! men. Industrial concerns, rafl- oo 0 Toads, states and colleges snap up| NOT important, but Doc Cook the brightest of them right along. still claims be got as near to the |pole as Peary naj 0 0 © OCTOBER 2% is the date for govern- ment land in North Dakota and \there’ll be another rush to get it. ear | ooo CONNECTICUT youth is suing de-\a girl for $12.33 spent in buying dis-| her ice cream. He's a piker. life. | oo 0 | ENGLISH salvage company has ° JEFF DAVIS is married again, just recovered $100,000 from a ship ‘which suggests the possibility that. wr cked on Oct. 9, inct.| pects to get a million 1799, nore. and ¢ ooo { ooo THERE'S an American duchess) SAVANNAH reports a rain of py frogs. Everybody's sober down Newspa-| there, too. the) 000 MEXICO has got so far along |the road to liberty that her depu- +i ties actually dare to ask a presi That's pretty te Vaudeville BY FRED SCHAEFFER. Suppose the ark had struck a rock and hat would Noah have done? and re-paired it If a cop were a vegetarian, ave his beet If an amateur fn a aunch it from the roof, what would you —it would be eavesdropping. Si Men and Their equal not to be $25.00. All the prevailing ging pockets. soft-roll, 2-hbutton models. Cheasty’s Smart styl if Cheasty If It's Correct, Cheasty Has It Special Benjamin Suits Young Men found elsewhere under $22.50 and Autumn and Winter shades, beautt- fully hand tallored and fitted with the Bartell patented non-sag- including the popular English long, Haberdashery Second Avenue at Spring Street Has It, It’s Correct Sam Bernard’s Own dtatty BY The Star Publishing Co. dent what he has done with « lot] | can have two coming out par tes, Women never complain that a diamond ring doesn’t fit. The foot aska questions, the pretender answers them and the wise man keeps his mouth shut. An ushappy woman may be either married to @ very mean man or married to a man so food she can't complain about him. If you tntend to imitate a man’s writing, do it in your poetry, and not on your check. There ts no king row in @ checkered career. When you can draw your sal- ary by telephone—that’ll be the Millennium, The Mormons are a peculiar, but not a singular people. You never know whether It's a joy ride until it's Mutshed. Germania. John said: “1 washed my hair last night and couldn't do anything with ft.” Beatrice sald They never come back.” Consequences: He ran a lawn mower over once or twice and now the place looks fine, Clams never get caught until they open up. The mule is the sleepiest ant- " ‘THE LEISURE CLASS. Mr. Potato Bug-—-Mr. Roach cer- | his rocking chair under that geran ium tree FROM DIAN mal on earth—and the kloki- ont. Admiral Togo met Pinkham at the W. tel, Lydia said: you so. brave?" said: “Pink pills.” The world sald: “War is hell.” Conse Mr, Roach--Hello, wifey. reat Glad to hear you haven't got As a Camera Lady on the “Daily malted Up in Squeeze,” Mise Dilipickies Becomes Romance of the Frivolous Rich BY FRED SCHAEFER IV. For the last couple of days I've been busy snapshotting aviators and fire ruins and politicians tn. fi stead of topnotch society, and thought no more of the Van Svelte Scadborough romance, least of alt that it would come and hunt me up. All at once I found myself yanked right back into the vortex of it, if a vortex is something that makes | you dazed and dizzy || It seems that the fair flances has ||a mother, old Mrs. Graboff-Van || Svelte, who ts Gladys’ manager, as it were. The wise talk is that she || engineered the, capture of Lancelot |Scadsborough and that Gladys |merely did the necessary stalling | He that as it may, old Mra. Graboff | that Lancelot will tak to marry someone | splice is effected r of the merry seasion at the country club |where Lancelot put a white rat in She heard Van Svelte is scared green for fear | She Came to the Office and Commenced Crabbing About “Me to the Manager. my camera to get a big langh out of the crowd. Furthermore, she figured that was just Lancelot’s |way of making himself attractive |to me, and by strictly hen reason ing blamed me for the whole thing. So she came to the office and com menced crabbing about me to the manager. She wanted him to un derstand that she would be much beholden if he'd make me stay 4 | the Scadsborough that I was a bold adver Of course the manager too§ any thing but a common clipper'd view ‘of it and told her it was lucy for Scadsborough that I took th@ joké like a good fellow, because Ifeould have made wdot of trouble fd him if I'd wanted to get ugly about his refined brand of playtulndss. I'm beginning to feel sorky to? rattle-brained Lancelot Bends borough In spite of his gobs of gel, Just look at the mother-in-la® he's | Boing to have! (Continued) Keeps Her Occupied. “A woman's back is her chiefest Joy.” Say the rest of it.” “When she gets too old to put |fancy clothes on it, it will keep her |happy going to the doctor.” | Washington Herald. | Mrs. Irving—Yon didn't buy that | Ortental rug after ail, did you? Mrs. Clint—No, we took a friend lof George's to seo it, and he sald that, while it was ag hara, beautifully woven and all that, It would not last ore than @ hundred years, #0 we decided to look further.-Newark News, Citiman—Yes, I'm looking for a house. The roaches in the house where we are now scare my wife almost to death. Subbubs — That #0? Nothing seares my wife but mice. Citiman—That's just it; these nulne Bok: | ‘coaches are as big as mice. —OCathi- He Standard and Times. “He is always doing something that causes a lot of talk.” “Why, I never heard any of it.” “He is the only one who hears it | He ts always staying out at night later than his wife wishes him to.” | Houston Post. “What makes you think you can , I am wedded to my art “Cut all that. To make a sucoess on the New York stage you have to be divorced from somebody.” Louisville Courier-Journal, Mrs. B.'s Husband—Who was that |lady I bowed to? | Mrs. B.—You know very. well | who she was, sir. It's that hussy who won all our prizes in Jast season's euchre,—Judge, Column of Glass and Mirror Cra This! Mr. Ply? ht this ts the finest looking glass I [im that roach trap. Well, so long.|ever skated on. \ A’S DIARY/MOST [be 1911 quences; She wat on his J nene. When I tell you how tt hap pened you'll laugh yourself sideways. Milwaukee is the place that made the beer shameless. 1 could say it, but it would make @ dunt. Father was a fine reigner, Every time he reigned some one got soaked, pa That is a nice woman, A nice woman. Strong, but nice. Joe Take-up Plaster met Miss Breakfast Food (Poree) at the Incubator, He eald; “I want to buy a chicken.” She sald: “Every lttle wrinkle has a dimple of its own.” And the world sald: it's better than marrying your chauffeur.” Con- sequences; The lawyers will spqnd the altmony. She wrote a poem entitled, “Wherever the Heart Is, the Lungs Are Close By.” 1 know I'm not much of a looking glass cracker. { forgot to mention that father had no hair here at all It was all pushed in on top and out at the bottom. I don’t fight with strangers. It seems that beer runs in our blood. I'l bet your cont you can't find the ace. euMMER ice. Mr. Humbug--What you doing, Mr. Fly—Can't you see? Why, ANYTHING The Garden street Philosopher, with a meditative air, was gazing at his overcoat that hung upon al chair “Talk about the dreary days of autumn tme,” he quid, “of saddened days when trees are| bare and erything seems dead.| They (atk of sombre landscapes | and the darkened sky of fall, of| cheerless snows, but overlook the} saddest thing of all. The saddest) things, this time of year, my obser. vation notes, are the dingy velve collars on last year's overcoats,” Poverty Is not a crime, but it's an infernal nuisance. ' } | Mra, Mary Harrell of Waterloo, Cal, bad to milk 20 cows a day, 80) she has sued for a divorce, The appearance >f a big tor toise in the main street of Cald well, N. J, leads weather fore casters to predict a mild winter, | Peruvian petroleum to that of Russia for high class lubricant ranks’ next producing Some married people become uninteresting to each other man without an appendix is to a doctor. Poet Harry Kemp denies the rumor that he has gone to work. Poets utterly lack” a sense of humor. Archibald Henderson pretends to understand ¢ «xe Bernard Shaw Shaw ought to interview Archie, is the progress of the Patience sure. HARBOR LIGHTS AND Mant WAS AT HiS POST. | REMEMBuR. VERY WeLt OF SABING THE OCRAN WAVE As THE GUN = BOAT Gave THE SALUTE ~-atpaaraasesenasilane THAT'S BNOUGH BOYS, REMEMseR. WE HAS A MOTHER TosuPPoRY “Looking at that knob? That's my bump of caution.” “Born with it, were you?” “Oh, no. Kicked by a nile.” Los Angeles Dxaminer. Up to Date Tho teacher asked, Mososg live?” After the silence hecame oppres: sive, she ordered, “Opes your Old “When did Testaments, ¢What doow it aay there?” A boy answered, “Moses, 1. ©. 4,000," w,” gald the teacher, “why didn't you know when Moses lived?’ “Well,” said the boy,” | thought B.C. 4,000 wan his telephone num “!Soctety is just full of such flirta | marriage of Madeline Force to Col, | “Maybe It Is a Little Bit Naughty,” Admits “The ” Girl in the Taxi’””—But Then She’s Married jaughty?”" Pearl Sindelar's eyes twinkled merrily, when The Star Interviewer wanted to know about “The Girl to the Taxi,” at the Metropolitan the atre this week ‘ow that depends on the point of view,” the dashing Taxt girl re plied, She really admitted that with the W. ©. T, U. could 4 line or two tn the play. was very frank about But what do you think of thin? “1 played the part for months be 1 could see a double meaning in three of my lines.” Star Ine terviewer sank In lis seat so hard that it might have made a dent in the floor. Oh, wonderful Innocence! Those large eyes, sparkling and radiating, and those rows of white tvyortes smiling #0 warmly at you, belong to just a naive young maiden Thon came the next shock “Personally | don't belleve in flirtation. I don’t approve of It,” she said, looking very earnest for @ brief moment “I've been married nine year she wughed, “ and I wouldn't want him to fitrt.” Yes, hubby fs in the same com pany, which was Surprise No. 3 for the Btar Interviewer. “I like "The Girl in the Taxi’ as a character on the stage, for I love laughter and fun, But in actual life,” said Miss Sindelar, “it wouldn't be conducive to happiness, And in that respect, it is true to I A young woman should not marry an old man, I have never seen a happy life as a result of such « union, “The Girl in the Taxt’ flirts when her aged husband is away, It's a common thing in actual lite. “THE GIRL IN THE TAXI.” stand it. It's such a solemn thing ot married. No woman can af- to risk her happiness by light epping into tri . De th socte’ out necks, y in full dross and low you know. Why, the yorce is no cure for an unhappy marriage, for | believe a woman can love but once, and first love is the one that counts.” Astor is cruelty * THE SOUTHLAND. The Winter comes with trails of snow, Breathing the North wind from his mouth The little birds arise and go. | Back to the roseways of the South 1 cannot under They know the iand where lke a/ dawn | Tho songs of summer always run, | Where ccstacies of dream ai drawn Across the never-ending sun. There is a Southland of the Soul Where peaceful lilies bloom and} blow, Where lovely waves of morning ll, Absolutely Pure : Where suniit peaks of glory 3 glow And when the heart is sore dis ‘Used and praised by the most 4 competent and careful pas- 4 try cooks the world over | | from its burden would be} free, | It finds a’ heavenly-t | a the warm jand | The Truth of it. Mrs. Richto-Do—Tell me, Mag «le, what you servants find to talk | about down in the kitchen i Maggie—Oh, we mostly talks | about the visitors up in the drawin’ room. And, beggin’ your pardon, ma'am, what do you mostly talk| about upstaire? ‘Oh, talk mostly about servants."—Life. The only Baking Powder made from Royal Grape Cream of Tartar—made from grapes the SIs Che LRT ETI eae erste teee eee Knight-Brinkerhoffs Dot Conte If not, remember that WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO WIN In to count the correct number of dots on the outlined piano, and write a short letter stating “Why. Bvery Home Should Have a Piano.” UINE HIGH CLASS PIANO ONE GEN Is to be given away absolutely free as a Capital Prize, and other prizes running in values from | t accordance to KB Co.'s Dot Contest THE CORRECT AND NEATEST ANSWER $39 to $155 will be given in atric) Will win the first prize, other prizes will be given according to merit. THE REASON—'The Knight-Brinkerhoft Plano Co, waats everyone in Wi thelr pianos, and thoy pay for all expenses, ete, attached to this Be Contost closes Tuosday, October 24, at 6 p, m Company, care of st is drawing thousands of replies. Have you entered as yet? ‘ashington to know of ] his BONA FIDE CONTEST. Address all answers to Contest Manager Ki Suburban Life. } 35] Gush efane Pinno G