The Seattle Star Newspaper, June 27, 1911, Page 4

oF Fie Mar Pabilahinn Gx : , “Ol G ” America’s ld Guard “The last sfind of the old guard.” Remember that? It marked the end of the battle of Waterloo. The “old guard” was composed of Napoleon's oldest and finest troops. They made a last desperate of the Great Adventurer hey failed, but it was a glorious fallure. faite Nearly all died where they stood old guard never surrenders.” At Wenatchee today 4 gathering of another “old guard.” Th state encampment of the G. A. R. opened About 200 delegates from this city and over 100 from Tacoma are in attendance, Whenever these veterans gather, it would do no harm for the busy note of the event, The members of this “old guard” » who marched under Napoleon's ambitious banners. And the only Waterloo they can know Is that which brie! igher cause than tho world to tak fought in a is common to us all—death Rut it is true that the American “old guard” is making its last great stand. Soon their triumphant fight of over 50 years ago and sasful part in the later life of the nation will be their sturdy and suc but a treasured memory. So the people of this state are glad that there are enough of the Veterans still living to make a rousing good encampment. And may we fuce the Waterloo which cor the battlefield and in times of peace. Charles Prosch of Seattle has lived to see the development of the Northwest from a wilderness to a mighty industrial empire. And order to see all this he lived 91 years. Perhaps the marvelous growth of the Northwest and the vigor of its climate has he! for he says he's going to live longer than Thomas A. Edison. “wizard” is considerably younger, and claims he's going to live to 105. Read This One to Father We've seen discussed, from lengt) to breadth of the land, such questions as “Can a girl live on $2 , week?” “How much spending ey should a wife have?” and so forth, and we're glad to see the rtinent questions swing around toward man’s finances. At Chicago, Mr. Henry Haberkamy called his son “Brick Top,” and Mrs. Henry, having red hair, too, haled Henry tnto co him there, Mrs. H. wisely decided to also have sow ly finance passed on, and the judge decided that $6 per month was enough for Henry's shaves, tobacco and other incidentals w. can a man live on $6 per month pin-money? If the ordinary man, of ordinary habits, should conscientiously keep record of what he spent outside of legitimate family expenditures, ‘Wouldn't the account run something like this: 10 shaves per month at 15 60 street raliway fares at 5 cents ...... . eeeeene 10 cigars at 10 cents or 20 at 5 cents (moderate estimate). 20 drinks at 5 cents (almighty moderate estimate) Newspapers or other reading matter . Baseball or other amusements Total per month .......6..00seceeeres steeees ‘These are pretty low estima Most ordinary men habitually spend Money, more or less foolishly, on other items than we've listed. Any ow, we're of the opinion that if Mrs. Haberkamp is backed by that $udge, she’s got Henry where the hair is short, financially and domes. tically speaking. What do you think, Mr. Man? Just put down in a Uttle book what you spend on these ttems and see what it foots up Qt the end of a month. Maybe it will make you more charitable toward the Mrs. and not quite so recklessly Hberal toward yourself. And, ob, yes, we forgot! Never call your son “Brick Top” if bis mother is red-headed! About the most refreshing sample of ingratitude recorded recently was contained in a dispatch from Portland yesterday. Man off: to all he had with a beggar, and beggar stabbed him in the back purse was shown. There must be particularly warm spot re @erved for that beggar somewh ? Taft’s Finest Message ‘The Taft matrimonial policy is all right, anyhow! Here it is, as Given afer 25 years’ experience: “Absolute and positive love for one anoth: “Ambition on the part of both for the suc at the beginning. # of the family; team *Directness In all relations with each other. * "Moral courage to reject anything and everything requiring sub- Bervience. ' “A continuance and growth of the devotion for one another pos Sessed at the beginning.” Message to your countrymen and your most successful “policy”! What beautiful world this would be if every husband and wife lived up this domestic ideal—lovers and sweethearts forever and aye! THE SEATTLE STAR Bit Binks had quite a penchant for fine rain it and swell efts, attempt to turn the tide of battle in favor}and when he saw a ball game it was from the costly seats the hol pollot to ¢ wondrous seh night's darkness was, Bit planned a million dollar corporation that was sure; his friends to purchase in a mine called “Golden Lure”; tho engineer who found the hole got fifteen thousand cash, but after that was paid the whole durned outfit wont to smash tap with millions right in sight chorused him Good-Night! got Bill always had a scheme on but finally his friends got wise a It's funny how the world ts full of folle just like Binks, who'd have a fortune if they hadn't caught up with Hers courting, how he will beha’ of loving lifelong slave! It's funny when a the girl that he will be his giddy friends, a long and sad adie kibosh on th: 9 | married man s to us all as bravely as they met it on he drops the club It seems to be the custom ft how he really # and all the Drinks; are only ad puta a newly Hut to make thes all. the Smokes and all the Poker ( resting til the day that feller meets The Jinx! COMPETENT No, I don't need an office boy, Ain't you organizing no new compenies dat need Philadelphia A CATECHISM Q.—What ts perfection? A.—-It Is the condition which the best man on earth has nearly attained at the moment of his death. A.—I do not know; I bave never sought It.—Baltimore Sun. PLAYS AND SMOKES. Charlies Frohman, puffing on a long, black Havana, talked wih ® k critie about plays. sald Mr. Frohman, as he blew toward the ceiling a swirl play is just like a cigar. wants a box, and If it's bad all the pufsing og earth won't make it go.” ta) THE UNCERTAIN CRAFT. of aromatic smoke, THE LOSER. “So you went to Reno?” Yeu; get a separation.” ‘From your wifet from my money.” “When do you leave town?” “Which way do you go? “I don't know. I'm an aeronaut.” ONLY ONE has a pair of slippers for every gown she weara, len't she extravagant? You see, it's the same pair.—Judge. He—Indeed! She—Oh, no! “When in doubt, play trumps.” “But suppose the dealer knows his business and you haven't any?" | tralian 55 pounds * A real poem of matrimonial felicity, Mr. President! Your best |—‘udge. ONEIOROMANCY “Had experience. By the way, has it occurred to you that the Fourth of July isn't sojand recall hearing 4m explosion. SMILE: AWHILE? | THE JINX JOHN COPLEY He bad an education and a polish that was great, he knew that he was born BIN used to He in bed at night and think put was, to hit, iMumed by money. But something always crabbed it all, the darndest luck had Binks; no matter how he worked or planned, he always mot If tt's good, everybody | Connecticut which is some auger, credite very far in the future? Wonder if Seattle will make one of the best/room had burst, al@when I woke up I was under the bed tinkering @cores for a “sane Fourth” this year? A Call for Volunteers Most of the fellows doing the hand and-foot and brain work for the world are insurgents at heart. Some of them are in line, the others . figuratively speaking, standing over there on the curbstone, de ing the matter. Berton Braley has in the following verses defined insurgency: : Does it make you mad when you read about Some poor, starved devil who flickered out Because he had never a decent chance In the tangled meshes of circumstance? If tt makes you burn like the fires of sin, Brother, you're fit for the ranks—fall in! Does it make you rage when you come to learn Of a clean-souled woman who could not earn Enough to live, and who fought, but fell In the cruel struggle and went to hell? Does ft make you seethe with an anger hot? Brother, we welcome you—share our lot! Observations NO, WE didn’t hear anything about Queen Mary's losing any of her puffs when she was crowned. o o o IT’S only fair to warn the United States senate that Bailey may again resign if Lorimer is ousted. a tee ®BINCE the aviation meet all birds have disappeared from ‘round sbout Wenatchee, Wis. Birdmen are the thing as scarecrows. oc 6 = WINIFRED SACKVILLE STONER, of Savannali, Ga., could read and spell and run the typewriter at 3 years. Home training did it. ° o ° THE United States courts have ordered the Du Pont powder trust Gissolved. They could have saved time and money by simply blowing mont of bis 6 it w eR Sa. A ST. LOUIS man Is suing his wife for divorce because she smoked his cigars. He ought to be thanking the gracious stars that she didn't use his safety razor. o o o DID you ever get so sick of two pictures as you have of George's Mary's? Thank heaven! they're crowned at last, and we do hope ir crowns will stick on ‘em. o oe o SENATOR JOE BAILEY is thinking of becoming an editor. We lon’t see any editor's chair that’s vacant, physicaHy speaking, but there's fob or two as “devil” that Joe might make a nolse in, o @ oO PHILADELPHIA church, trying to pay off its debt, has got a bach- @lor who will marry the girl who bids;highest. If that church wants to give the devil a real hearty laugh, it might run a roulette wheel. o o ° CHAMPION boy corn raiser, Jerry: Moore, of Winowa, 8. C., has Decome a regular mascot for his state. They're now raising more than twice as much corn to the acre in South Carolina as they did a few Years ago. AND h ‘ Ms ‘ now they're worrying about Halley’s comet's tall ° . ber, the tail broke away. Fellows down Hast think their feat tor pe due to that tail's swishing around somewhere trying to find where belongs. ea 6 6 WORCESTER, Mass., bank refuses to lend mone me oe th money on tenements, I estate. The bank encourages loans on single house ly ought to have one, #,and says every ‘i re. @ DO YOU know that in twe years more theyswill have the second biggest dam in the world at Keékuk, lowa? ae ‘Will make the upper Mississippi valley one of the world Blacturing centers, completed Its power plant 5 greatest man- ae: “WOMAN—what she isn't—aint,” is the defi ‘ 5 ~ definition of the fal offered in an exchange. Another good one is “Woman is the nother civilization. Without her we wouldn't work, wash, shave or wear ties.” And yet there are sti® a few people " f# Important enough to vote. people who don't think woman —_—— Buy ot Sell Real Estate, Business Chances. See the springs with my wife's manicure set.”—Judge. OF COURSE Small Son (reading magazine advertisements)—Daddy, what does this guarantee mean on automobiles? Daddy (who owns one)—-It means, my son, that no matter what goes wrong with the car, it's the owner's fault — A FOOL AND HIS MONEY— | HASTE NOT. “Being a fool is no disgrace.” "Tien't that.” “What's the trouble, then?” is always on the First Doctor—Did that last case Second Doctor—Not off, and I believe in well enough alone. THERE WAS A DIFFERENCE rotestant clergyman has decided, much to the disappoint ongregation, to accept a call to another pulpit in an Kast: A few days ago one of the neighbors met the little son of this minister and sald: “So your father is going to work in Blanktown, is he?” The little boy looked up in surprise “Only to preach there.”—Cleveland Plain Dei DRY WASH FOR HIM, Representative Livingston of Georgia, who, disgusted at the b tub debate in the house recently, proposed that a little money be m by renting the bathtubs out, said recently apropos of this subject: “We are now a good deal like Bill Spriggins on a zero morning. “Bill's valet entered his bedroom one January morning and with a shiver “Will you take your bath hot or “Thank you,’ said Bill; “The money letting other side.” “Oh, no,” he sald, T'll take it for granted.” are bad investments, because they pull down the value ot making out at works lives longer.” Rains the hull while, I “Depends on Suess, fer he sez he takes a show ext time It rains, He's Ww, modern tur to} AL ished rooms at] Fine ! John vrew Makes Love to The Very Ideal —_———— yy Will Be Ever So Much” More Comfortable Don't Wear Evening Clothes When You Go to This —Also More Conspicuous! ust Fawncy, My Dear a Serving Maid and They Marry! Can You Picture Our Very Best Society Actor in a Role Where He Denounces Bridge Whist and Rages Against the! Sins of Society, Which He Done So Much to Help A swat In time saves 11,396, He is president of the Players BY JOHN COPLEY the most exclusive Having recovered from the shock | Drew describing luggage porter in h he does in this sea son's comedy, wt that if the soctalist par-| ty needs a« fine atick of presiden Jawn is the man for! VACATION IDL 'm looking fo where | can sit and shiver And so | think I'll go this year to the Attahwahpiskat river,* Alo Northern Canada, "jot hearing John for the Player Drew simply couldn't he sent the Divine of ponies and his regret ‘Taft's recommendation In a re phosphorus be message that sncritleea o longer used in making mat marks the passing of the mateb, made first in this country in and industry! If you would like to enjoy the. ney that the ultra set of our fair little city considerably | shocked, not to say horrified, when John Drew had finished his fourth | | fervent love to a serving maid, you Moore tonig’ You will be VURRY, VURRY WICKED. and tomorrow night he clasps a serving maid fondly to) a, the knot will be tied within a day| disappointing be wished to John Drew has open the ser Reliable Points on —to the ultra set of the Society or Pollte brand pf He has always worn even ing clothes in at least one act and has made a trenchant sta! ridiculous by play ; of our Beattie people believe | with much credit is “society” stuff—as practiced on Fifth av. or Grosvenor square But ty “Smith,” John Drew just WISH HER ON A NEIGHBOR. His facial ex preasion comes in most opportune. | % he furnishes more than anything we have had in a)! wh It is also @ very neat little Object Lesson play. no hefty problem folks to puszle their dear heads real laughs | rect A problem insurmountable Prevents our hollday— Who will take care of pussy cat While we are gone away! chides his sister because she plays society lady and raven at And he doesn't clothes, thereby giving the laff to those in front who came in devilish for our society Capt. George Auge fawney a “gentleman” marrying a you fawney Scarcely, my dear! The Industrious Drow Drew declined, politely, that the same old Jawn would play the same kind of a play. much pleased with Gwendoline? e tweed all through the does not require “When we fool with dd be certain we have & fool to fool with. marry & servant, i peptible | a. barely | gereep Ante | re onty to The Changing Order But if John Drew disappointed | winked just anybody because he didn't wink, so I believe that he doesn't clothes, he pleased might-|think it beneath a gentleman to) rrystos in a pint of water he has the brightest bit | of a play that has been given him | The Second in Command.” In the play, be bas the part of an | realit who has gone awa’ and) imeelf a large but lone | du He. returns to Eng-|is in t land to get a wife, but is disgusted | work, with the society gang and ends up by marrying the maid in his sister The dog pursues the tramp, who Dissolve an conte me “1 think I'd rather be a-rush- ing of the growler than to have him rushing me.” |Srope in each eye does not smart. It will strength Jen the eves and remove ail inflammation For doll, expressioniens leyos Mt will prove a ypily married himself, why | \ should he bother himself with the |, * of “Smith”? n Drew is one of the most in trious stars we have, hb languid season hard at 00 miles or so from dear PEEVISH GIRLS. The maddest girl I have ever seo 1 saw today on the subway route She dropped a cent in a slot ma- found excelent And nary a bit of gum came out. New York Globe. which he has earned in the past/ The maddest girl I have ever seen Office and Factory 72 Columbia St. Of course, it is quite ridiculous, Maybe it is ambition to be a mil | But John Drew acquits himself Monaire, or maybe he is just indus-' Mid-Summer Stock Adjusting Sale of feathers tall She talked with a man an hour, I And he never mentioned the hat York Telegraph. The maddest girl I have price was big; She rode down town in her limow And saw a neighbor in the same Housefurnishings Many people merely came to” The American eats 175 pounds of meat a year, the Englishman 90, the the German and Today was another busy day for our Midsummer Sale. look, but when they saw the class of furniture that we offer at such very lew prices they } Frenchman 60, SHINE UP THAT HERO MEDAL. A New Jersey farmer shot two “Ever notice how actual happenings sometimes fit Into dreams?” | men in a crowd that serenaded him 1 dreamed I was in my auto on a country road|on the night of hin wedding An incandescent light globe in the immediately became enthusiastic buyers. If you wish to secure some of these wonderful values, you must come early, as this is a sale of short lines and samples only. ALL THE CREDIT YOU WANT AT SALE sin Dave A fine, large Fumed Oak Mission Dayen- The Olymple, ocean liner, is 882 her tonnage in 45,000 and her displacement 6,000 tons moat popular thing Taft has done ts to have been married 26 years. Olaf Larson, working In a mill nery warehouse, fell down an elevat- Fellow workmen rushed 4 were aston RARER LISLIEN AIP ss 0B TaN sr to the basement « tshed to find him alive. "a od é port, a plain but very attractive style, with genuine leather cushion and two pil- pered, cautiously ; ie ‘ lows; regular price $75.00. Special .... |had to come down for nails, any way.”"—Suecess Magazine. An Englishman train's speed when a penny is dropped It won't register under two miles an hour, so there's no sale for it in The Japanese have an annual feast day for boys house where there is a boy strings Of paper carp are suspended, A big fish is suspended whenever a boy To be a Briti#h soldier man Must be a glorious thing, em ve when you rise at 3 g. m. To ‘wait the coming king. A HANDSOME TABLE Made of solid oak, with very pretty quarter- sawed top, heavy turned pedestal. 6-foot size; $31.00 value for .... 8-foot size; $34.00 value for ......$24.00, In the full or 34 size, bright or satin finish; a strong, substantial bed, made with two- inch posts and heavy filling rods. good value Oh, for a lodge tn some vast wil- derness, where skeeters bite and fuzzy worme caress. BAN BAY: Save Money—Avold Pat / PAINLESS DENTISTS known to ua only ft Person in Beattie ( If you place your order for a Sewing Machine during this Midsummer Sale, we will give you, absolutely free, a fine Golden Oak Sewing Chair worth $5.00. Come and see the “Free” Sewing Machine. enthuse over its light-running 8 sets of ball bearings and its fast-sewing “Roto: ¢ their person illo” movement. FOR THE BEST THE DENTAL WORK IN Seattle's Largest Housefurnishing Store ork Miver Filling wil Set ALL WOKK GUARANTEED Open Kvenings Untit 8:90 the Second Golden Oak and Pike Street eo The Bon, Mar as Low as © Blevator or ALHAMBRA TH Foto Drama Theat SEATS, 6 CTS, Sth and Ping st, “Meat Mo “at THE ALMAMBRA,” This Week. With Each Ps AND FIFTH AV, from 2 to 6 and 7 to It. -