The Seattle Star Newspaper, March 28, 1911, Page 4

2 THE SEATTLE STAR ished daly by The ¥ cr Star Dust | patie ame sisal ’ on . " - wr | WHAT HAS BECOME OF THE WOMAN : WHO FAINTS? | Sulferer—T have a terrible tooth ache and want something to cure inting |! | A wT : alfat deca he i to ¥ » 8 Soure = wn Friend—-Now, you don't need any | ba by 8 ord Bcc Begum sei 1 of | Medicine. T had a toothache yee . . m oy - mens 1S rarery ; terday and went home and my lov } r nd ature a of her, She has passed down th al Boe ey and p by " of Mg SURKESt then as. tun | Vite Ot Rome now | ™ « Ww h nd: mn but ta mo try The JOSH Wise and healthy than were their mish eave: hey a able to do thelr own work and . onan oles “A fellow who ay why the fainting existed, or why tt wuz swellin’ round u . had existed rs . had do with ft, as it has with all indie town claimin’ ter! be N k way, the © sood health who faints has nearly disap- @ New York! pe York club man | ee | NEW YORK newspaper had 300 drugg ’ prescriptions analyzed Proved to be a by expert chemists, and found over half of them wrong, and many of weak ot them positively dangerous. So it requires some faith to take the drug | cure, as well as the drugless kind. Ananias.” | Mrs. Hoyle—What sort of a man | didgou got? Mra. Doyle-—He was a blonde man | with a brunette heart New Vork The British are going to crown thelr king, but that jan’t all, They | Press. x take anta the y jon to who®p ‘er up for an are going to take advantag he family reunion to whodp p Hie Awful Plight. The idea is to make every British shilling flow Into a British pocket Bhatt Centipede—Is he hen somew! in that w re on which the sun never sets, The|Pecked? | |= 7 b nd curing le the prolific ¢ d Contipede—Merey, yes mothe * wilt do s manent uring, while the protific daugh-| se ee nian wipe all’ his ny te pendence feet.—Harper's Bazar * “Your wife wants you op the ¢ pearly days of cty m, each private family almed to be + fficient, not only raising tts food, but hewing its lumber from the} 5. oor Bag sengges re veh of | Bie# are installed, P ts cloth and leather, fashioning its clothes and shoes. gis Tamil Wiaklos cin than te tan | Which o {nguired the T xt step was for the self-sufficiency of the village, then of the| ‘at young Sinkina who calls to | ® phones, of course colony state, and then of the nation. Finally the day came when 5, Sa icived witha: tithes, C1 Please. ar. os the boy every humble home D0 corners ¢ e 0 da mnehtor— Never mind ip hay Brooklyn Life every humble home drew upon the four corners of the earth for its daily ieieee cuban of ies tor both of te . ave. rod nee" yaton Tr serip The “Al-British Trade Crusade” {s retrogresstve and will succeed | Boston Transcript only so far as {t conforms to natural law. Nobody will pay more for a A econ clk article simply se it ts British » day of independence has given place to the day of inter-depend The family has extended its boundaries to take in the world. TERRE HAUTE, Ind., man hi gourd. to keep her and see if she won't lay corkscrews? Politeness is one of the pitfalls of lif Politeness, or, at least, potiteness as cor plain speaking, and plain speaking is es to progress. only used, precludes ntial to understanding and If Johnson meets Miller and says ornin’,” and Miller re sponds “How do!” they have both be Kh, according to standards, but they haven't progressed any But if Johnson meets Miller and says I have been watch ing you, an I have abe n to the cor nh that you drink too hard, talk oft, live too high, think too low, owe too much and pay too little y. then, Miller at once * that Johnson takes an in terest in him, and there is a basis for friendship. Punctiliousness is t form of hypocrisy w h causes neighbors to wave their hands from front porch to front porch at each other, calling out “Chawmed to see you!” when what they really mean is, “If you don’t keep your cussed chickens out of my back garden, I'll wring their nasty necks Somebody said a jong time ago that “Famtliarity breeds con tempt.” but somebody was mistaken. As a matter of fact it is un familiarity, it is politeness, which breeds the larger part of contempt BY BUYING nine million dollars’ worth of other banks, the Mor. gan-Rockefeller bank gets contro! of a billion dollars of deposits. Cheap, cheap! But what an evertasting, atl-round, juicy, sugarcoated, pie-and-ice-cream business banking is, anyhow! NOBODY’S FOOLISH BUT FATHER The action of the courts in respect to the will of George 8. Meyers, the St. Louis tobacco manufacturer, onght to be a warning to all of us who are digging and sweating to become millionaires. George's estate sized up at $4,365,000, but he willed that his heirs receive only the income. This didn’t suit the heirs at all. They felt that George, being dead, was dead, and shouldn't be permitted to fix things so that the pie couldn't be cut and eaten at onee. So they instituted sult to contest the will, on the ground that George was of unsound mind when he made it. George being so dead that he couldn't kick, the courts have ordered immediate distribution of the estate. Of course, the decision is a good thing, for the reason that the sooner a big estate is dissipated the better. But it is also some umere evidence as to the futility of making wills. Here is a remarkable in- stance where there was no quarrel amongst the heirs, and so the beloved ones left behind went to quarreling with the corpse. making it a matter of court record that idiotic. God help the rich! even the defenseless tetator was The poor can die safe and sane. OBSERVATIONS ADMIRAL TOGO ‘will visit Washington in June. tain him until the Panama canal ts finished? ° °o and Guggenheim have ordered Diaz in that case it’s no use for him to try any Ballinger busine o 0 °o JUST incidentally it may be remarked that Uncle Sam ts bringing 40,000 “tropical outfits”—khaki suits and “sich”—from the Philippines. Looks as though were really tending southward. ' oS.) © DISTRESSED by plague and famine and fearing Russia and Japan, Can't they de ° WALL ST. hears that Morgan to resign. an egg shaped like a crook-neoked | Says he won't sell the nen who is charged with laying it. Going| THE STAR—TUESDAY, MARCH 28, 1911, » WHY NOT SMILE AWHILE? Kx j | | | | | | I suppose you had some| | how m jeonform to th’ F EVERETT TRUE VOY WHAT FO ACAD 17 WY! OOYT YOU AEN AE wR tO ta Rt tt ttt it + RRR ek Had if t give you would you hay promptly replied Jobs “Johne ont Seven You can't have understood me. | peat the question much would you have? Seven,” sald Johonie again lam surprised at you, Johnnie, would you have seyen? maic I got two in my pocket Guaranteed. “And what ix this rubber stamp for?” we ask of the Kentucky moun alneer at humble home we ataylog over pight whoae rhe amiles, “Well, friend, that pin’ I use whatever I} | shoot one o th’ Tollivers. Hev to atate He stampa y with it, and wé re teed und Life, . on & pleee of paper ‘ r the poor foud There are germs in Base |horrid model pose for that pleture. ‘tie He—Ob! no. She's not so bad as|sald—but who wouldn't take a | she's painted. | chance! Too Tired to Sleep. Stella—What causes hef insom nia? Bella—She takes no many beauty exercises before morning when per's Bazar retiring that {t ts she finishes.—Har Descriptive Title. He—1 wonder what the meaning of that picture ia? The youth and maiden are in a tender attitade She-—Oh, don't you see? He has just asked her to marry him, apd she is accepting him. How sweet! What does the artist call the ple ture? He (looking about)—Oh, T nee: | ita written on the card at the bot tom—"Sold.”"—Lippineott’s What Are We Coming To? Jack—{ thought your landlord didn't allow children Henry—Sh! We calf ft Figo. = Harper's Bazar. A Similarity. pa, iv a man from Poland called a Pol “Yes, my son.” “Then, pa, why isn't a man from Holland called a Hole?’—Woman's National Daily | | } ! | Considerate. Friend—Now that you hare been married some time, old friend, tell me frankly your opinion on’ the marrtage state. Much Married Man (to his wife) Just go outside, my dear, will you? A NEW GNU. China is driven to gonelude her big foreign loans. England, Germany | and France bite off big chunks, and then there's our own Mr. Morgan | | he antes fifty millions | | o o ° } | UNCLE KITCHEL PIXLEY sends by wireless from Magdalena | bay: “Bay still here. No fighting. However, heavy firing to east-| | ward. Two press association correspondents tryin’ to kill a jack | rabbit to eastward.” °o 0 © BOSTON Is all stirred up about a new club where women will be allowed to smoke. And yet it's not so long since all New England ladies took snuff, while some smoked clay pi fashions in such things, same as hats “ey ee SOME people object to the proposed heroic statue of a North Amer jean Indian at the entrance to New York harbor, bat they don't stop to consider the feelings of the incoming alien who expects to see an Indian @8 soon as land shows up. The frontiersman got the live Indians and the tobacco trust the wooden ones. The best we can do now is bronze, Most Ills of Life come from errors in diet, from too little exercise or from the mis- takes we commit without thinking of consequences These sicknesses may be slight at_first, but they hinder work, prevent advancement or bring depression and spoil enjoyment. What is worse, they lead to serious physical disorders if not checked in time ; but you CAN check them easily and quickly. They will Naturally Yield To sucha safe, simple, reliable family remedy as Beecham's Pills. Inevery household where this famous and unequalled medicine is known, the whole aspect of life is changed forthe better. Be ready to help yourself—and your family—to overcome trouble and to regain, and keep, good bodily conditions by having on hand for immediate use BEECHAM'S PILLS Fer females, Boocham’s Pills are specially suitable. See instructions with each box. Sold everywhere. In boxes 10c. and 26e. There was once a gay young gnu, | Who was captured and placed in a 200; An old gnu was there, Who came from the lair, To hear all the news that the new gnu knew. Blind girls are making a living typewriting, taking diction by pho- | nowraph Little Miss Muffet | Startéd to bluff it | With only a couple of sevens. It simply appalled her: When somebody called her, | all she could murmur was “Heavens!” | —Philadelphia Times. | TOURIST CAR SERVICE—To St. Paul and the Hast, in effect jevery day on the Chicago, Mil |waukee & Puget Sound railway, commencing Wednesday, March 15. | | Train leaves Seattle $:50 m. | | Lower berth to Missoula $2.25, to! | Butte $2.50, Harlowtt: $3.00, Miles | City $3.75, St. Pau $6.00 Upper berths cheaper. Apply to city tick et office, Second and Cherry, for reservations, tickets, etc. ed And The tion expects to win his prey by growling. GRAB ‘EM ideas are things that float in the air. The man who has no faith -in human nature has a reason: HIM. SELF. = . A SECRET. . 4 aecReT. “During a little conversation 1 had with the lion just now I asked him if he was the king of beasts.” And what did he say?” He said he was, but he made me swear not to tell his wife be sald #0.” There are said to be 60,000 other worlds in the antverse, yet Lorimer and Bailey landed here. “This half dollar—" began the cashier of the restaurant, as he looked at the col Is bad, eh?” interrupted sour looking customer. “Well, {t doesn’t look very good.” “Well, bite it, and if it is any thing like the dinner { had, it tastes the | worse than it looks.” When the Ship Was Rolling. Jones (land agent)—Perhaps we ean close that deal now for that little plot of land, What'll you of fer an acre? Brown (who Is having a very bad time)-eDeliver it here now and I'll pay you $1,000 an acre Case For R. R. Commission. Briggs-—Is it true that you have broken off your engagement with that girl who lives in the suburbs? Griggs—Yes; they raised the commutation rates on me and I have transferred to a town girl. Life SIGNS OF SPRING Hes, e "It looks very De Tréw much,” remarked, “as If the lecture habit was becoming popular again,” “It has never lost its popularity at our home,” Henry Peck said, gloomily Cleveland Plain Dealer. new boy in an office where the phones of two separate compa “1 don't jephone,” announced the bows, thinking of the two tele * * * * know how many you «® * * a Surplus on Hand. « and your father gave you 3 cents, ante. Johnale. Now listen, and I will re If | give you 2 cents and your father gave you 3, how and with some promptnens sald the teacher. “How on th 4 Job Philadelphia Times. JNQUISITIVE "2. FDWIN Maw “Well, Kdwin—well?” What's the war about in Mex “The war in Mexico? You mean the insurrection. 1 guess so, maw, What's a in surrection? “An insurrection, Edwin, is when & body of dissatisfied men not large @mough to lick the government try th’ do it.” “Oh, | see. They ain't satiatied, hut the government is?” that's it.” “Do they fight each other?” “Oh, yes.” © “But I thought you said the gov- droment is satisfied. Then what does it want to do any Mghting “Why, to make the other side sat- dl." “That's the same as war, aln’t ~Um—yes.” “Then why don't they call it war, maw?" “Because the government thinks it isn’t going to get licked.” But if the government gets leked, it'll be dissatisfied, won't ur “Of course, my son.” “Then if now it's satisfied, and it it gets licked it won't be satisfied, maw, why ‘t ft leave well enough alone “Perhaps, Edwin, you had better #0 wheel the baby down to the park and let me finish this enlight ening book entitled, ‘Dear Old Diag, or, Even When Dying the Peons Loved Him So." “But say, maw.” “Back again, Edwin? you want?” ’ “What are they fighting about?” “Where? Who “The people down In Mexico.” "About onefifth as often as they're given credit for, Edwin. Just about one-fifth Then Béawin went Diaz with the litte boy next door and stubbornly refused to give any quarter while he was getting the best of it What do out to play Too many idealists are shy on ideas. > Try This Home-Made Cough Remedy Costs Little, But Does the Work Quickly, or Money Refunded. A that thi simple remedy # hold of @ cough more quickly than else you used. over Uew cough syrup than you made for $2.50, It ke tastes pleasant ts the moat a'o! of Norway white in gulatoot nts whieh ls often imitated. old, ful formula ha r been ed c the best-known ae Drug nada that it uel tribu obi a These Babies Were Engaged at Birth; But Fond BY W. G, BHEPHERD. . i, Three strange folk are mixed up in this real story of the Bide | in New York First, there ta Dr. Stork , of the atrangent but best folk we know Second, there's Dan Cupid, whom we love, though we're never able to explain his stranw onK And third) at let's - put bim last, at the ot the story He always come last, any > how, and he's used to it of bis D ‘i Mr Mamie Barnett and Mra Farina Marcus jay side by side on Miss beda in the Jowish maternity how-| Pe sringd pital, awaiting the whir of the wing | 14 ft be of Dr, Stork. They had be tends | fim, by * since girlhood, on the Bast Side, | ‘-—Open | Suddenly there was a rushing about in a of purses and doctors, and within to share six hours Dr. Stork had brought a Miss boy to Mrs, Harnett and a girl to pings o Mrs, Marcus. Then Dr. Stork aero. oo bul | planed away, out of the hospital and ookid out of our story it? Whe the babies were brought to the mothers two women looked ‘AeChlorof oward each other miled, hap will, me bear Mise th ag My son} a = x = to marry her ghter L tisty he And Dan Cupid entered and; has no te tood by for the betrothal cere ge . mony sett foods Here comes the bride,” hummed A-—Try a nurse, an tiny Rach the Cream, % 01 motors had named ¢ children | seater, 1% ou hurriedly for the occasion—came a, down the aisle between the shining| aga ing. operating tables, in the arms of a| 8#by Rachel on Right, and page, <r d, Being Pledged to Wed Each pear the -_ nurne | or o's ne de,” corrected a | ~ eee ee -_—_——— she does ee ae rrected 8) thumb wound tl around Barnett eat. Tr a Rachel's first t s. But) “My son will marry your dang an white Pi Ba sg . the oped . pe th wasn't w motion #@ his! ter,” said Mrs. Barnett Peeler) bummed on to the end of the tune gare ge aga oer. gs ann c ur id strated out a tee soup, witl And then down the same aiste | ©OY , sata ae AIR m OM am babies occasionally. . ther It was Rachél's hand! were soon t a under the bed. « : tame the “bridegroom” in the arma tnilk bottle. clothes of another nurse . : e«% Dear Mise | The “bridegroom” paid no atten-| He batted his eyes at the ceiling “ and enjoyed tion to the “bride.” In fact, he sud. | wisely and loo! as if he thought ” will marry your dangh- and Parte.” denly took a jon that he had not |the Dan Cupid business was all a/ ter, Mr een had said am too young cried quite enough, and that there | Waste of time. ee. yah albe eh waar on the —_— — was a lot more crying he ought to} ‘The “bride” only frowned, at | ‘hind stiauge old party, whom we jo right away. And so he started. | space and when the nurses put thelr | ™&n n po »- cin of the The wedding was del 16 min-| heads close together she looked My and who always comes last utes as if she wanted to cry 0 irony > the room and hover. "Hold them together I won't describe their betrothal | ¢¢ ove Mra. Marcus, The nur obeyed clothes, though the crease In Leon- | ®¢ ¢ Now mak them hold hands,” | ard's diaper was very straight and ean teas hr said Mra. Barnett heat he land of « nf E A nurse placed Leonard's handon| “My daughter will marry ar) ys me -~ aay = very Rachel's, Leonard's fingers and! son,” sald Mra. Marcus solemnly, to | And coves happlt broken Bea ‘ |} ———— — The uniform strength of Crescent is not luck, but a cer?* tainty provided for by scientific manufacture. Full pound, Absolutely Pure Royal Baking Powder helps the housewife to produce at home, quickly and economically, fine and tasty cake, hot biscuit, puddings, the frosted layer cake, crisp cookies, crullers, crusts and muffins, fresh, clean, tasty and wholesome, with which the ready-made food found at the shop or grocery does not com- pare. Royal is the greatest of bake-dayhelps. _ ROYAL COOK BOOR—s00 RECEIPTS—FREE Send Name and Address. moras genus rowees Co te rene aah (n'est ey ar sal © much end have free examination en@ : grade’ is what the iS OO he ci | —~ + extended arms of [Balt pect? Sac" st a the pr v vi the semaphore Meee mean = We hi BLANK BOOKS eine | HEY MEAN that the Moving Train has auto- matically protected itself from a collision. No train will follow it onto the block of track it oceu- pies. Thé signals are set automatically. As the train enters a new block an electric circuit is broken and the arms of the sempaphore fly outward, signalling all comers to “STOP.” They remain set until the train passes to the block beyond. : The System gives perfect protection, Any defect or acci- dent to the electric system, a broken rail or an open switch, will break the current and set the semaphore at “STOP.” A train cannot etner a block that is not safe in every way. TRICK & MURRAY 814 Third Ave. The Electric Block Signat and the exclusive use of Steet IDEAL MINING AND But cg Coaches make our system most inviting to those who demand I ATION go: safety and comfort when they travel : IRRIG att | | nping machine MEALS SERVED. of Bverett oF 0-W.R.& N,CO.—H 2 Stas O. S. L. and Union Pacific ELLIS, Gen. 716 Second Av. Tel. Main 932; Ind, 1995 ety Agt., E. GILBERT, D. T. A, First Av. S. and Dearborn. Tel. Main 7378; Ind, 2623. ‘W. D. SKINNER General Freight and Passenger Agent.