The Seattle Star Newspaper, April 1, 1910, Page 6

Member of the United Press. Published dally by The Star Publishing Oo, A Singular Coincidence The news dispatches tell us that former Assistant United States Attorney General Wade Ellis will argue the Missouri rate cases for the “By a singular coincidence,” the dispatches say, “both Solicitor General United States before the supreme court Bowers and William $ attorney general, are ineligible to represent the government in this case because they both have represented the other side in the Kenyon, who succeeds Ellis as assistant lower courts.” . A singular coincidence indeed that out of the army of law yers in this country none can be found for Uncle Sam's legal department who “has not represented the other side” so much that even the easy legal conscience gags at a prosecution of former railway clients, Quite singular, Quite coincidental, But every cloud kas a silver lining, and In this case it is made possible for Ellis to resign his job in order to manage the Ohio campaign and yet by the singular coincidence to remain on the public payroll, Singular but convenient. The Little Rector and His Little Book The rector of Barton-Seagrave has attracted some attention by his neat but not gaudy almanac for 1910. The rector is the spiritual shepherd of the flock of the Es tablished Church of England, and is one of the successors in the} nen who, beginning with the original twelve disci t the gospel of Christ to mankind long | plea, have ta In his f Janu ry: “This month you must choose between Liloyd-George on : Nd one hand and God and our constitution, God and the British almanac the rector says, under the month tar, God and our grenadiers,” ete., ete Remembering the words of Horace Greeley, “He who has no somewhere has no right to live at all,” and inherent right to live to make the hunting remembering that Lloyd-George is trying t parks of the peer into potato patches for the poor, we can see where this rector person stands. “God and the grenadiers,” indeed! God and the big guns and the powder and the peers, And when the gentle carpenter of Nazareth sent out his disciples he bade them take neither purse nor scrip nor gold nor bread nor shoes nor two coats. But then they were not “established.” the first rectors By this time mest people are)ning to get worried over the pos New | sibility that it is a mental impos willing to believe that . York legislature te everything that| “>UMY for Jack Johnson to knocked senseless. sald it was. | the Tom Lawson So far the University of Copep hagen has been able to restrain it self from offering an assortment of miscellaneous honorary degrees to Prizefighting experts are begtn-! Col. Roosevelt. The chantecler hat is a failure; that's something to crow over. THIRD R a EADER = MARMADOUKE EASYMARK’S COUP. of a young lad who evinced no knack, as It is called, In a word, Marmaduke, do what he would, never could prosper. His playfeliows trimmed him in every venture, from swapping jackknives to bartering white rabbits, At which hte father. old Deacon Notsucha Easymark, waxed exceedingly wroth “Marmaduke,” be exclaimed, “it is plain to me that you will never cut your eye teeth, and if you did they would need spectacles. Yet I will grant you one more opportunity to give some other urchin the hot end of it before I thrash the tat out of you, nincompoop and dunce that you are! So, after doing the the potato bugs fali in, Marmaduke This is a st for gainful pureu chores, such as milking the pump and driving vasture, and wu ering elstern the baby could fared to the dant village groen with a bag full of marbles. There he found little Paul Pickledill and Davy Dubbson playing truant from the kindergarten. How his eyes sparkled, and he jaid full many a splendid pian to thrive at thelr exp He discovere no difficulties in luring them to a game of skill. Then retired they three to a sequestered spot, Marmaduke them of all their taws and whiteys four-timers and crocks. Two bours thu Marmaduke retu fresh, warm face ‘Oh, sir, if marbles for profit Humpb Easymark Ah, no, si sear ay PRED SCHAEFER nee and cornelians and crystals and passed, while scarce a whisper fell. And then rned to his stern parent with a whimsical look on his ou please, sir, he announ I have beon playing and you were loft to hold the clutching Marmaduke fled Marm: bag as well bag, as usual by the collar nduke, triumphantly as the marb muttered Mr “This time they olf dead killed in a Concrackelate L exclude wreek® Yo, he Vell me my secont cousin tas you my Wass b rellroat I am anyho » hear he dit nod dle TO BE SURE! Which did yc cold t certaln harbinger of is winter retreat } ur t spring? rhe orage egg coming out THE STAR EDITORIAL AND MAGAZINE PAGE THE STAR—FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 1910. a OH, YOU PUZZLERS! Stung! Stung APRIL F-O-O-L ! Stung! Tee -Hee 1v CAN'T Be Done! OH, BAY, DID YOU TRY IT, TOO! The “Your Sorry, but to you today Mathematicians nnd lovers of the quaint, queer and quiasical have grown gray try!ng to work out a scheme by which four men, A. B, © and D, and four women, a, b, ¢ and 4, can cross a stream in & boat holding not more than two, and get across without any of the women crossing with any man not her mate, or remaining on either side with any man unless her mate ts also present To be sure, it can be done when there are only three couples, but with four couplomgNO, It has been declared impossible Therefo: APRIL POOL! a Fa NRE UE The SORY CLUB BY EDMUND VANCE COOKE THE PROUD DONKEY (Copyright, 1910, by the Author.) BY THE STORYMAN bn ae ! There was once @ very proud) donkey who lived tm the same field) with a rabbit and a wild canary./ Whenever the forest fox ran’ through the field the rabbit would sourry Into ite burrows and the wild canary would My Into « tree. “Hee-haw!” laughed the donkey, wurely | am the bravost animal in the world. The rabbit rune Into his hole and the canary Mise to the top of the tree, but | stand my ground and am not afraid.” The rabbit stuck his head out of the hole and wrinkled his nose as he said, “Yes, Indeed, you have courage. [wi 1 kw what makes you so brave, so I could be like you.” My bravery,” lies in my ara Jealous Beaux” pussle te a hoax April 1 is & tempting excuse for breaking the news ono = re ee eet lity and clearly and the rabbit was said the donkey, | surprised, for though th¢ eanary’s ett He could he Eros te ™ and beautifal they are.” “Ob, no.” sald the rabbit, “for my eare are quite as large for my size as yours are for you.” ° “Then,” said the donkey, “no doubt my bravery lies In my tall See how limber and useful it is Even the files fear it ‘Oh, ¥ had no tail at all to speak of, but the wild canary sald, “Tee hee! toe hee! I have a tall which is largor for my size than is your ragged rope of a tail for yours.” ‘hen my bravery ts in my hind heels,” sald t donkey Very likely sald ¢ ary but the rabbit said, t hardly think so, for I myself can kick quite bard with my hind feet ‘Oh, well,” said the donkey, perhaps you will believe that my strength lies in my volo. Listen! I have the strongest and sweetest voice in the world But the wild canary said voice is all noise. Nonset sald the donk angrily, and a8 he saw some tray elers approaching he started to heehaw" as hard as he could Your »y | eee “= See how large| voice was so small The canary started to thrill sweet-|of “The Proud Donkey: hear it quite plainly In wpite of the donkey's terrible totte, just las you can hear the thif! sweet | song of the violin aborw thun- | der of the pipe organ. 7 Presently one of the péQple on the road picked ap eo @lub and threw {t at the donkey and said: " sald the rabbit, who/ “Quit your ugly bray, you beast; you spoil the song of the canary.” The astonished donkey stopped and the rabbit pulled his head back | , into his hole so that the donkey could not seo him laugh. When be looked out again, the dookey said, |To toll the truth, my friends, my superiority to afl other creatures is |im my large brain.” Hut the rabbit and the canary janswered in a breath, “How can | that be, when you have been prove to be wrong so often this morn- ing?” By this time the poor donkey was so confused and angered that be did not know what to answer, But, would you believe it, he still be lieved that he was the greatest of all animals. Tomorrow | will telt F aa the fate oe oT Two-Minute Vaudeville BY FRED SCHAEFFER. Slap Say Thud—Yoast? Slap—Naw-—-The flour truat Thad Slap Thad Slap Thud Slap Poid it? Naw; look croseeyed at Advertios it? Naw; wash your hands. ee | | | | keyed up to wantonly deprive | Did doctor No. I you take my advice and see the ? saw the doctor and took hie advice Did ‘ou take his presoription ? I took it to the druggist.” he take and fill the wre on ' He took and filled a bottle.” did you take It? The druggist took it.” V at k the bottle?” No. T my money bottle Then did you Yes, 1 took it home.” Then did you take it? 1 No. I already had it Ther I kept the take the medi- THE HAIRS OF A w beauty has on brush and comb every morning A raven-haired damsel has to content herself wi of many ns head, if lat would reach from 60 to 76 miles a wow es This Dreadful A blond woman usually has about what makes bread rise? Do you know how to double money? it Well, do you know how to get rid of your real estate? ‘Fight Was Started by This: I mean ly? did you take“it: fward I took it out of the bottle. Then did you take it? You. 1 took the bottle,’ Took the bottle inwardly? in the ash barrel, Then you didn’t take thé’ bottle after all’ | "No, The all In thing?’ You, I did was gone.” | Then who took | “My wife took it } got tt for.” Swat! Biff! ashman took it after fact, you didn’t take any I took a look and it the medicine? That's who I Thud! me WOMAN'S HEAD 140,000 separate hairs to hile a brunet has about 109,999. ly 102,000, while a Titlan-locked th @ mere 88,000 or #0. The hairs 4 end to end In a single Ine, I took it outside Wind put it| of ties, na necond-clame ,| STAR DUST ar mat, ‘ tte, W “Th’ man who aire his opinions on th’ back platform of @ street oar tatke twiee as Alecky ef he sees helf way interested.| age The people who raise the largest famfling do the least talking about thetf family connectiona. New Vork receives an immigrant} hv *| de every ten) hours, « death every six minutes, «| minutes, and every ebrates a marriage, |i ‘The older a girl gots the believes in long engagements, Suddenly a white form ar at the window, All about the mad hero 4 hin way to the 6 up to the ley where the lonely form is atti! stand. | ing. Within about eight and a half minutes he comes tearing put of the building with the life he had saved besides his own. Just then the en-| tire buliding and the man who held| the mortgage on it colinpsed. About) 76,000 people rushed over to nee t hero—the man who, at the risg of! hia own life and without the ald of| & brass band, one lone man | ‘Twas infeed noble of you.” the people cried, with one volce, “Why| did you do it?” | maid the hero, “I had to.) He owes me 0 conta.” ‘Taft better hire a press agent Flight of a Solomon was being | his magic carpet. “The Wright brothers can't claim | any infringement,” he chuckled. Herewith be flew over a cloud New York Sun. sported on Getting in Deep. “Father,” said little Rollo, “what is the fourth dimension?” “Why-—-er—my son, that is hard! to explain to the Inezpert tptell- gence. It is something that may ox ist, only you can't locate it.” | “I know. It's like the plece of ple ['m to get when there ts com pany to dinner," Washington Bvening Star. | Hie Side. She (soverely)—1 see, young man. you are consulting the wine list Pray, on what side of the temper.) ance line are your inclinations | Yachteman—On the port side, n-—Baltimore American. He—-There goes that widow Jenkins. She-—Widow?t widoreno!—-Life. IN THE PUBLIC EYE handsome Why, she's only a ARCHBISHOP RYAN, Archbishop Ryan has done his ut] most to bring about an amicable ad-| justment of the Philadelphia street | car men’s strike, though his j years have not permitted his takix the prominent part he took tn the! last great traction strike, in Janu-| ary, 1896 Then the riot and bloodshed was As great as it has been én this strike, | and the city of brotherly (7) love was in the same state of disorder it) has during the-part month or/| more, The venerable archbishop was at that time one of the most! active memberd af the committee | which met in conference with the traction officials and brought about a eful settlement of the strike. | MORE ANIMALS THAN HUMANS The population of useful ant mals outnumbers human beings in the world. There are 580, 000,000 sheep, 95,000,000 horses, 7,000,000 mules, 9,000,000 jack asses, 100,000,000 goats, 21,000, 000 buffaloes, 2,000,000 camel 900,000 hardy retudeer. The United States leads in the num ber of hogs with 50,000,000, a third in all the world, It ts third in number of sheep, with 57,000,000 There are 1,600,000,000 use ful animals in all; at least that is what the wise heads of the census bureau say “ | Reflections of a Bachelor, | Give & man an inch of rope and he'll take an ell to hang himself, Wisdom ts knowing you haven't got it It takes a good deal.of the edge off an engagement for a girl when there ten't anybody left to whom sho can tell it's a seotet.—New York Press. divorcee every |} leas abelfl went to the rescue of |i \ | | Messaline Silk on Sale Tomorro w—Another Big Baillargeon Special at 55c-Yd, The Silk event of the season, bringing beautif satin-finished material, ideal in every way, for d These are NOT the ordinary Sale Silks, but graceful, lustrous Messalines, in forty new and pret white, sky, pink, old rose, lizard green, reseda gre er more subdued tones, such as navy, brown, gray, such perfectly desirable and seasonable silks are to you will naturally wish to be on hand early. A good ully woven, all. ‘veloping rich and reception gowns, waists and all more inform ul attire, regular stock, ty shades, ine! n, lilac and many myrtle, ete, be sold at 55ca idea! BEGINNING AT 9 A. M. TOMORROW, THE ENTIRE TWO SAND AND FIVE HUNDRED YARDS WIL! AT 55c THE YARD. ty and practical that they deserve all prominence good workmanship, good colors and good taste hz make these garments ideal. Tailored Dresses Of pronounced beauty are the dresses of Kindergarten cloth, percale, gingham, repp and lawn. The heavier materials are effect- ively developed into plain tailored designs and trimmed with braid pipings, embroidered bands, or perhaps tailor bands with but- tons; some have Sailor collars, Dutch necks and plaited waists. Parents and children will be de- lighted with their long, beau(4ful lines, the belt effects and plaited skirts. Responsive to the sea- son's call, we are featuring pink, blue, tan, rose, black and white checks, plaids and stripes. Sizes 6 to 14 years. PRICED AT $2.00, $3.00, $3.75 AND UP TO $9.00 dren. Note the sleeves. h also finished wit BROKERS Walls & Lewis Co.) NEW YORK STOCK GRAIN AND PROVISIONS Private Wires Main 7791. Ind. 2280 327-328 Balley Bidg. MAN POUND IN RESIDENCE — measuring for papering was from the Federal, of course. We do sat {afactory work at reasonable prices. Use the phones Federal Paint and Wall Paper Co. 1814 First Av The House of Hon- est Merchandise, The House of Low Prices. A. Lawson & Brother Men’s Furnishing Goods at Away Down Prices Men's Merino Shirts and Drawers; broken sizes. 25 Sale price In stripes 25c Bosom 5c Work 0c two ool 19¢ Hoayy Work Spreads, Blankets and Cornforters 98e White Spreads, % nize $1.50 White Spreads full size 60 Blankets $1.00 Ce Blankets $1.25 Cotton Blankets .... $1.50 Comforters Soft Bosom Shirts checks and plain colors Sale price $1.26 Shirts. price ton Men's Soft Rale Pleated Boys Shirts; small Sale price Boys Sale Extra Sale Dark sizes Heavy 5c lare pr 50e Men's Shirta price 860 Men's Sale price . 8 i130 Men's } Hose, Sale Dress Shirts; Laces and Embroideries Val Lace, worth up to 8c. Ic Sale price ., to 12%. Oa ve eee up to 200 7ic “ 2 Val Lace, worth up Bale price . Va) Lace, worth Sale price Platt. Val Lace, regular 160 quality, Sale price Hmbrotdertes up to 12%4e. Sale price aa hat Oorset Cover Embroidery up to 860, Sale price $60 Ruohing ber riche , eeeees Bhe to The Ladies all styles and de mussed. Sale price Ladtes' and 60¢ all the latest styles 156 a1 19¢ 1c Neckw ig 360 N 0¢ Embroidered Turn-over Bale price, ” Collars L BE ON SALE A Special Showing of New Arrivals in Children’s Wash We cannot recommend our new lines too highly; they are gg Good mat ve all comb Lingerie D Dainty designs of lawn, | swiss and cross-barred made along lines becom the panel f waists, the Gretchen w; the Dutch neck and halfal igh neck and 4 Pretty, indeed, are the h beautiful f the insertion at neck, belt sleeve to complete the Sizes 6 to 14 years. PRICED AT $3.50, $6.00, $6. 75, $7.50, * DOWNING, BRO Biocks, Genie Both Phoses 278. | 304-108-308 The Bee Hive RELIABLE DRY GOODS HOUSE ty Pins at & lhe Children's Hose Say porters, Sale prioe ..++ 3c Darning Cotton. Sale price .....+ Ide Corticell Spool Sik yards. Sale prige . Sc Box Wire Hairpias, Sale price ail be Card Safety Pine, all Sale price ....6+ seem 10¢ Curling Iron. Sale price Se Tape Measure. Bale price coool Corset Clasps Sale price Whisk Brooms, price Bottle Sale Machine OM. Sale price J Ladies’ Belts 1 Lot of Ladies’ Belts 1 Silk and a variety tertals, ranging in to $1.28. Bale rice . anes foo Biaatic Belts tm ors. Sale price Lace Curtains s9e Nottingham Lace Curtains. bee price «+++ 1.00 Nottingham urtains. Sale PeOe. «rst 1.50 Nottingham Laee irtains, Sale 1.78 Nottingham LAee, $ § r ; Curtains, Bale