The Seattle Star Newspaper, September 10, 1909, Page 6

4 Pub. tink Member of a Pre Mehed datly by The Star tag Co. It was the eloquent and shifty Cicero, with exquisite’ felicity of expre nihil mortuis, nisi bonum'—of the dead t! yO ay though the scholastic world for 2,000 years has doubted whether he »ke in sweet charity or bitter sar nient custom has decreed that the tomb is sanctu for earthly wrong, the abode of forgetfulness if not forg Edward H. Harriman is dead, for: , Golden lads and girls all must, As chimney sweeps, come to dust As a corporeal entity he has n down on the bosom of old Mother Earth, alongside of his bumbler brothers, where we too, in a few hours, weeks or years, must join him, and the bond of our common fate exacts our benediction. So “peace be to the ashes” of Edward H. Harriman, . . . The Harriman who is dead is the Harriman that few of us knew; the one we all knew well, or thought we did, is alive and will live for years and mayhe ages to come. The lovable little man, with the horse jockey walk, the wenially sophisticated smile, lover of his family, staunch deferider of his friends, is no more, but the financier, the cool, merciless sorcerer who worked in gold, the commercial buccancer who struck, stabbed and garrotted without pity and without hate, is just as much alive today as he was a year ago. Harriman has passed out of view, but before he left he perfected an organization that no longer needs his guiding hand; he left us a Frankenstein, wound up to run for decades, clinging tenaciously to what it has already acquired and reach- ing out hungrily for more. Harriman was but the personification of a money-getting system, the visible vicar of a dollar-making power, which he himself brought into being, and animated with his soul, lustful for power and gain. His spirit still marches on; though his name be stricken from the rolls and his face be seen no more in the marts of men, he is yet with us, The strange mingling of ce-operation and antagonism that was carriedon during his earthly career between him and the people will continue unabated; his death does not mark the end of the struggle; he has transmitted to his descendants and successors his ambitions anc aspirations, so that, to all intents and purposes, he still rules the vast concerns that he so craftily built in the days of his might. And so it is that, while we pay our due respect to the dead, we gird ourselves to continue the battle with the living For that which the worm will soon destroy and make into dust we have naught but awesome vegeration, but for the vital, intangible Harriman that lingers we still have the old dread and suspicion. * . * To speak of transient events with a voice of finality is one of the most persistent frailties of human nature. We look, upot our age as the climax of creation, and pass judg- ment on the whole performance, oblivious that the play has still many centuries torun. To us, Harriman and his deeds appear in a certain light, for the most part unfavorable We are so sublimely egotistical that any one of us who considers himself mulcted by a freight charge is ready to pronounce the final verdict. But who knows that in a hundred years from now Harriman may not be hailed as a benefactor of hu manity, a man who fulfilled his inexplicable destiny, unknow- ingly doing the greatest good for the greatest number. After all, each of us is but a creature of varying circum- stances, and to know what is best will not be vouchsafed us until the curtain falls at the end of time. narrowed down to the South Pole nd perpetual motion. Today's sudden slump in exposi tion weather is doubtless due to the fact that Prof. Moore is doing it) with one hand tied up in splints. If the straw hat has any sense at l all, it won't wait for Mayor Miller's Final results indicate that Mr.! time limit. Kaufman's execution was hardly on} & par with his promises. | Dr. Cook assumes the very hu | man attitude that if you don’t be- Discovery business seoms to have lieve it you can go see for yourself HEARD ON THE STREETS A reporter for a certain Seattle | mile from the above mentioned cot paper was assigned a few weeks | tage. Tabby had at different times ago to “cover” one of the revival | three other families of kittens. Ali meetings. the services two or three women | of Lake Cushman, tied tightly in « began a personal canvass of the| stone weighted bag. audience for persons who felt their When the new family was two sins heavy upon them and were| days old, Olson remarked to a com Teady to seek a better life. | panion as he looked at them Now the reporter felt that he| “Guess about tomorrow I'l! have should be excepted from the gener-|to drown those kittens, They'll al order. He was there to chronicle | soon be getting In the way.” the doings of others, not to take| The old cat got up, stretched and any part. 80 when one of the kind-| walked leisurely out of the fish ly sisters approached him, he said, | bouse. as if that was all sufficient: | Fifteen minutes later she ap afmf-a reporter.” peared at the summer cottage. She But the explanation didn’t purred her way into the good weaken the solicitude of the good | graces of the women and soon was woman for his soul's welfare In the | lapping up a pan of milk. She was Wichtost | good friends with all inside “Young man,” she said, placing | hour. her hand encouragingly on his arm, Next morning when the cottagers “young man, that makes not the | opened thelr door, there lay the slightest difference, No matter|three kittens, The mother cat how low you have sunk, we can| Stood over them, waving her tall pata pec slowly from side to side and purr ing. She had carried them, one by one, from the fish house to the cot tage. A cat that her kittens are a good hon Members of a Seattle family just back from their summer cottage near Lake Cushman, brought with | them a motber cat and three young kittens. They fell with many em understands when hreatened deserves " was the family de bellishments of how they became|cree. That's why all four were possessed of the four felines and| brought to the city elite same in alleged proof that the| - cat “A one of the most intelligent Speaking by the Card recor | Mrs n tt—Wh Tabby and family formerly be-| me oe dew dene tecee longed to an old fisherman named | Olson who has a fish house half a! Because it's the lowest Or FRED SCHAFFER. “IT can recomment you somedin hair.” “Tank you, Osgar; but vot I vant store my black hair.” &8, Adolf, to restore your gray ise somedings vich vill re During the course of | had been put to sleep in the waters | BY LEW DOCKSTADER, King of American Minstrels. Are ter than the old the now minstrel jokes bet It's & question I would #ay emphatically that @ good joke even tr it's as old aa the hills, if you haven't heard It, is bat tor than a poor new one. around baek and forth on the stage, told by trayeling men, printed In the eomle papers and) the Woon socket Weekly an dan all around you, and yet you never bap pen to hear it, Then you hear It and think {t's new Here's a bunch of them that used to be “screams” In the late ‘408 Endmar town t Day He mawn town de one-meat bua idin’ last Sanday t r tn ay 7 Bhe weil hundred pown's an whe tly » de whole seat ter ride in de whipsocket st it she She must liked them ndman: She sid ahe tiked “em Fate, but dat de seeds scratched) ‘er throat Middieman: Your uncle's death must have erieved you # «reat deal,/ Tambo. Kndman wah, 1 erieved de whole tam'ty Fadder cried and brudder cried, but L oried wuse'n any | You ob em, His clothes woulda’t ft me. | Middleman: Can you tell me, wir, what [x the greatest race in the) world? Bndman with It. Which » STAR de wo'ldt NAN PACE fe de greate Middior ignoramy ye Middieman drug store pdman, after a moment's sert What amelie the most thoumht te yo now Lota of jokes are good when | they're new. They'd got a laugh| [edman: Yo! dawg's got fleas. today as well ws they did 60 yoars| ing: Phat dog. sien with ine ago If you hadn't happened to have| Endman, Mebby dat's whore he heard them oe Humorous stories wore early a feature of nunetrelay probably from the firat performance, Here fe one that I have traced back to) Why does a hen crosa the road? | 1861 | Tt lan't true that Noah kicked a Two Irishmen, were guests at a slat out of his oradie the first time | sammer hotel MY ultoen bit he heard that one, but it fa pretty |tnem so hard they. summoned thef jold. Still if It was new to you, | (rte Pney did ao, and a mos | you'd laugh at tt later a lightning Wag flew to} It’s funny how a joke can go indow, ‘It's n faid one down the line for years, be handed ee a now with la Sometimes after « joke has been | dead about 60 years a minstrel man will pick It up and spring It ha new Well, it will be new to most-every-4 one by thén, and be gets a Inugh ome to prove that LEW DOCKSTADER. some of these “old boys,” as Chey! call them on the stage, weren't ’o bad, after all. It's & question what ts the oldest tminatrel joke. Nobody knows Frank Dumont of my company tas! made a long study of this, inter viewing all the old-timers he meets, } but be hasn't struck the oldest one yet. But minstrel shows date back to 1843, so it's no wonder. Here's one of the old favorites which the oldtimers apeak of affec tonately “Why is a chicken on a fence like & penny? Because it's heads on one sida and tails on the other.” | Another joke of rare old age that | Na, sub, Ab can't. What has made countless thousands laugh | he bad TREASURE FROVE Lookout--Ahoy, we've struck 1 Captain—What 4 oe whal Lookout—No, an leeberg. in New York NEW YORK, Sept. 10.--The aver-| age woman who visits this olty jeatches the disease known as Ne yorkitis, ‘The Beau Brummels and Fluffy Ruffleses of Broadway, the glorious shop windows of Fifth av,, the gayest of the great restaurants, exercise a fascination that selzes upon impressionable femininity and joften breeds an aversion to the old home town as a place of abode Now, either girls from Oklamoha lare different, or else they can throw an awful bluff, That delegation of 28 which whirled through the mem-! tropolis a few days ago, just like the business end of an Oklahoma |twister, manifested not the slight est symptoms of having been stung |by the busy Iittle bug. They ad | mired various things upon which their optics alighted, but they didn't | anything that had so much on dear old Ok They liked their hotel pretty well, |but then, they sald, they could {sleep better out home because there | wasn't so much racket from ele vated trains and things. No, not quite so much Fifth av. was all very well, and there were some very nice things in the stores, to be sure, but there were very good clothes | to be bought also in the emportums \of Main st., or whatever the priict- pal business street of Oklahoma jclty Is called Puffs and Paint—Ugh! They looked at the folks on Broadway, particularly the girls with the puffs and paint and pow- der in profusion who roam that thoroughfare by day and by night. Then one of the western ladies re marked that she wondered how they could do it, and she bet Sint | river to befool visitors, That stuffs worth 40 cents a hundred IN LITTLE OLD NEW YORK BY T'ORMAN. | Mise Elizabeth Orme of Osage coun ek. je? if those their faces had washed and took off that false hair, | women they wouldn't dare to stand up alongvide a row of Oklahoma hired girls The girls, wanting to get a good look at the city, took the sight. seeing yacht which cireumnavit gates Manhattan island, and is tened carefully to the man with the megaphone, who proudly called | ott the many wonders of marvel: | ous Manhattan that are visible} from the water front They passed under the Rrooklyn | bridge, upon which the guide des-| canted “Hm!” sald Miss Kath-| ryp Mason, “I suppose that was quite a bridge when It was bulit Rather old and dingy-looking now, | isn't it?" | The Metropolitan tower was! pointed out. “Oh!” aimed ty, “is that really the Metropolitan | tower? Why, I thought It was a good deal higher than that!” Where Wonders Shrink. The megaphone man grew pale at this horrible feonoclaam, He proudly showed them the Maureta nia, the leviathan of the seas, lying at her pier. “So. that fs the Mau retania?” quoth Miss Eusle Bell of Murray county, “Why, she isn't so very big, ls she?” The battleship Alabama was next exhibited, You would think | battleships sailed up and down the creeks of Oklahoma in fleets, all the interest the girls took. it a real battleship?” tnquired Miss Elsie Jamison, as though having an idea that papier-mache dummies were kept tn the Hudson “Tt doesn’t RIDAY, SEPTEMBER, 10, Dy matt, owt of ettr—1 year, Bly THE STAR EDITORIAL AND MAGAZINE PAGE: offtos, ARE TODAY'S JOKES BETTER THAN OLD? IT DEPENDS, WRITES DOCKSTADER, KING OF MINSTRELS j cause of the war.” It does not sound | shriek and scream. ) Another famous etyil war joke | i wns one of Geo. Christy's, He ad | nany new jokes sprung every year, 1909. months, 91.00) ft moi th, abe. ered at Beattie, Wash, post- second-class matter, is: “What makes more nolse than 4 pig under a gato? Two pigs.” You'll be surprised to know that thé Joke about the ben crossing the street ien't very old--only about 26 years The pun and conundrum were | mighty popular with our grandfath ers. They screamed over both. Un Jona a pun today idan exceptionally clever one, with some definite bear ing on the conversation, carrying with It some point, an audience may groan A few conundrums go a long way some of them have gone from the Mexican war down to the Spanish war. In the first minstrel shows the musictans, vocaliste and everybody olse on the stage in the first part Joined tn the jokemaking, It wan 4s common for the cornet player or trummer to engage In conversation with the middleman aa for the end man, One of their jokes was “Why am I lke # young widow?” For fear the audte might n understand, the midd an would repeat: “Why are you like a young widow? I am obliged to confess I é6o not know. Kindly tell ua why you ure Iike a young widow.” The answer to that was: “Be une I do not stay long in black.” The civil war brought out a lot of new jokes that were popular those days tear holes In a big while delivering his monolog; then, poking his face through the largest | bole, be would say: “The innocent | funny now, but audiences used to vieed Lincoln to buy hickory nuts. “We kin crack ‘em open an’ keep de kernela an’ throw do shells tn de enemy's camp,” he said. Solomon anid there waa nothing new under the sun, but there are the wine man's statement to the contrary | He was a grouch. S80 would any man be who bad as many wives as look as if it could do mach harm, down tT" And so it wont until the mege phone man's sennibilition were wounded most grievously, and the few New Yorkers on the yacht felt) as if nome one had pounded their beloved infant child all afternoon with a baseball bat The finish/ came when Mins Alyce Walkney said to the guide 1 « «o some of the people you ta ut and lecture to think New York is very wonderful, do| they not | "It ia the momet wonderful city) in the new world, ma’am,” pro- Claimed the desperate guide. “Ho!” cried Miss Walkney. “You ought to see Oklanoma ery, youn man, Why, when Oklaho- ma in an old as New York it will be « hundred times bigger, and a hundred times richer, and its buildings will be a hundred times higher!” The guide took his megaphone and went below to drown his sor rows to ginger ale, and the girls fell to talking about how soon they would be back in dear old Okla homa. Phew! Such a Scare. A one-horse delivery wagon pro- ceeded down Columbus ay, yester day afternoon, taking the car tracks when its driver felt so tn clined, and crossing the cross streets with no fear on the driver's part that any other driver would bamp him. The wagon was painted bright red; it had a red fiag flying at each side of the driver's seat, and on each side and on the back was a large sign bearing the one word, DYNAMITE.” POINTED PARAGRAPHS, The umbrelia dealer bas a lot put by for a rainy day A doctor of divinity should be- Neve tn the faith oure. There is more or less moonshine in the astrology business The winner never has any fault to find with the referee's decision. Even a cyclone cellar will not protect a man from a domeatic tempest Don't forget that your wife en Joys a little honest praise now and then A graft by any other name Is just as apt to land some men behind the bars.—Chicago News. REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR. We hate people for the they sing. Next to imagination the moat im- portant factor in a woman's life is suspicion. ‘The thing that makes a man like a girl is for her to convince him he does. The reason a woman ts afraid cof. fee doesn't agree with her husband is it seems to, College girls have mighty ttle fun getting educated because they haven't any trousers to roll up to the knees and can't that need lighting every 30 seconds. New York Press, songs in | Sam Sharpley used to} handkerchief | jo | i} { | | } | Crawford-—Se your wife doesn't make mince pies any more? Crabahaw-—No, she uses all the odds and ends around the house as trimmings for her hat.—Puck. Knowledge j* proud that he bas learned #0 much Wisdom Is humble that he knows no more. Cowper Myrtic—What? »wed George to kiss you? Why, I thought you said you wouldn't be kissed by the best man on earth Marion—This wasn't 0 earth dear, It waa in the hamm Who does b Does well Children’s and Misses’ English Piccadilly We are now no make is so trustworthy a and tailoring as the “English Picadilly.’ all wool, lined throughout satin, taffeta or real satin; velvet or silk collars same material; colors are na green, as well as the fancy new mixture and cuffs « Prices range— $5.75, $6.50, $7.50 and up to $16.75 Misses’ and Children’s Peter Thompson Suits [ BAILLARGEON’S | a | Coats howing a complete line of these garmen and to correct mate design ’ Proper w esin | with best grades of farmer or collar vy, red, brown, ; ages 4 to 14 The regular “Peter Thompson” Suits, in navy and black ‘The wi plaited skirts Children’s, ages 6 to 14 years, price .... Misses’, ages 14, 16, 18, price Price Ladion Knox Tat lored Mate are on @inplay, We are fo- attic nie collars are trimmed in both the black braid, chevrons on sleeves and One-Piece Sorority Dress, navy ser chevron and tie; buttons entire length of and white shield, with the soft tie; $11.50 cecee es B1B.75 white braid trimming. plaited skirt Boys’ Suits and Furnishings More new Suits, Overcoats and | boys’ fixings came this week, and our stock is in fine shape. We can fit th wella Satis: boc me Fine and Serges, Knickerbocker pants; | blues, grays, browns ..... $6. ¢ little fellows in 3 to 6 years as as the big boys in 17- year sizes. | factory School Suits, Knicker- cker pants, in tweeds, cassi res and serges, at— $3.45 and | Worsteds, Tweeds, Cheviots Swell tailored styles in the best of cloths, newest patterns and CUE: aS ene ow $12.00 | All the little things—Hats, Caps, | Ties, Shirts, Waists, Belts, etc, | ete all here, and at satisfactory prices STAR DUST Jonh Wine Sayer dest bis of allows, acts nobly do no more. ange umatance Young. ave a chance to marry an old of money Ww He any bad habite and comes of a long-lived famtiy tht cago Record-Herald Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, That, to bo hated, needs but to be soon Pope Flosste—I suppose you can play the most difficult airs? Bandsman—Yes; all except tt the tackle thowe. drum ma puts on e Cute We « Care to our coffin adds @ nall, no doubt every arin, merry, drawa one And out John Wolcott “Am I the first man who ever asked you for # kiss? “Yeu; the others shox more nerve. They took it The heights by great men reached Wore not atte and ker Fred asked me y 3 ained by wudd@en fiteh Tennyso Phoebe: our age last night, dear Phyilis——The idea! And did you tell him? Phoebe—-Of course not. 1 merely maid q u didn’t | it Boston Record A Phre om lat. "Pa, what do t call @ person that reads heads?” A M Mr. Ran Mrs. M awimming.’ Hight, Do yo A ra, Rant @ clever t men? Some men are. Ra r. Ran ——Single men. per's Half Holiday. “ wr and tn p look ¢ erson ? foe Do 9 sho must “No; but she always sing: ask Prospective Buyer. smoke pipes] foot! her.” Not Corn Land. ive you five, Owner—Bay, sellin, tate, I'm not @ chiropodis! elo. —Detroit phrenologist, my boy." | Phey are ex- ! Then ma must be one of zoey AR, SE *. She felt of my head tremely — well noon and said right awa. made and will think men are Who are they? Ally Slo- if you Spokane Chronicle. ‘Ton dollars a real en- ~Brook- Message and | Mate and _— Ooetdental. Por and Cooling Room included In ‘Treatment. We Sollett Your TOURIST BATHS— 23 HosierySpecials} fou for Saturday ¥} i Black, ie Wt Btoe r ar Heavy Gen Cotte kings, bl triple kne ouble heels and t the bent ey can b fo wiz 4 Childrer with doub! eamle priced rd 80¢, 35¢. Underwear fe Children For early fall Girls’ Oray ton Bhirta. agen 2 cording ¢. Children’s White Sulta, fle Oe, She, B0¢. Our Famous Australian | Underwear for chil dies and men, only to here, as we are sole 20 years’ selling has ite worth; our new, just in; children’s, agew 16 50¢ Ladies’, any size , wear Fleece Pants to 16 Men's Single-Breasted Shirts . ‘ Men's Double-Breasted Shirts Men's Drawers We know of no garment gives such satiefs to entire family. Dr. Denton’s Sleeping i for-ehildren, in all size] nonirritating; pric each .... We b Ladies’ “Globs” Tallop Vests .... ¥ Ladies’ Meréde Union BSults . Merode %-Wool Vests Tights; special, each aight Long Mat Beay $4.60 to $5.00. Geatiemen. Patronage. Today's Styles Today but The tailored throughout, made of wearers a serviceable se es and fancy worsteds, in the newest stripes and colorings. The hair-cloth front in- sures a permanent shape-re- taining effect The trousers, finished ac- cording to your liking, with varsity cuff, regular bottom or both— Prices $18.00 to $40.00 Boys’ School Clothes We also han- die the popu- lar Hop- kins’ Boy-Proot Clothes for youngs ters. Jane give extra good service, $3 to $10 charge for the accommodatic 1332-34 Second Ave. “Bradbury Clothing”’ Is Superior There is no.excuse to look shabby, wear a “Bradbury Suit” and dress with an air of distinction. extreme care in their building, the excellent little details of workman ship, together with the quality of fabric, gives an individuality y are strictly Our Credit Syste Will make payment the easiest part of your pureli y a little down and a little Eastern Outfitting UC “Seattle's Reliable Cfedit’ Home The to the hand- at a time without mn 209 Union me ao eee tt ee eee |. C9 |