The Seattle Star Newspaper, February 5, 1909, Page 6

ere? 1 could tell but I won't. r ** _ THE SEATTLE STAR BY STAR PUBLISHING CO, CREED 1907-1308 Seventh Ave, as second-class matten EVERY AFTERNOON EXCEPT SUNDAY, ered at the Postoftioe at Beattie Washington Wane = . otirens o HOW YOU MAY BE AS GOOD AS A COW Of all the bossy cows in these United. States, Jacoba Irena of Tilinois is said to be the champion They have just concluded a test of a year, during which every drop of this famous cow's milk was carefully weighed and tested This cow gave about eight and a half tons of milk from which 1,12 Now, there's a good year’s work for Jacoba Irena The figures are surprising pounds of butter, worth $325, were churned. Cattle men are talking about her and the live stock magazines are printing her picture, Her owner is so rich that he refuses to fix & price But the net profit on Jacoba’s milk, after paying for feed On that basis m her, but $5,000 is estimated to be a fair figure and keep, was probably little more than $100, how can she be worth $5,000? Pouring forth, as she does, a very 6 per cent basis of about $1,650-—on her milk-producing record That is, she is worth three times as much as her year's work shows Why? . . . You, young man and young woman, are, perhaps, surveying your past y with a considerable pride, and self-satisfaction “T haven't missed a day at work,” you say. “I have been on the job every working hour. I have earned so many dollars. Tam a useful member of society.” Good. Your capitalized value may be found by adding two y earnings and dividing by six. . « . ciphers to your year But Jacoba Irena was at work every day, and Sundays, patiently chewing her cud and storing up rich milk and earning better wages than any other bossy in America, and yet she is worth three times as much as her capitalized earnings. That is, in proportion, she is worth three times as much as you are, oh, industrious reader. Why? Because Jacoba Irena gives to the world not only a very ocean of golden milk, but also, each year, a tiny counterpart of herseli— And that’s two-thirds her value. So if you want to be worth three times as much as your wages, observe the habit of the soft-eyed Jacoba and give the world another human being—a baby—which measured even by the hard, cold, money-rule of the stock yards, will multiply your ought to be written up every . I mean favorably written up. ‘They are fighting the fight of the under dog— fo fight ay ho | time I see to hear Victor, [ feel like im on the back and yell ‘Go it, redhead! You're with you. Hit ‘em nd again. And once more, got an ounce of wind or usele left.” mystery, Three United States sena- tors are discovered in close confab. Aldrich: I have a scheme. We will issue a summons for Herbert | Knox Smith, commissioner of cor- . | porations.- He has the papers. Sulberson: Fine. I don't care how you do it; but we ought to make the president knuckle under in this thatter, Elkina; He'll have to. We calied for all the data on the absorption of the Tennessee Coal & Iron Co. by the steel trust. Damn it, wo must _| have the goods. Aldrich (to clerk): necessary summons served on Smith. quickly. CURTAIN. Scene II.-—Same. (Thirty minutes have elapsed.) Enter clerk Aldrich Well, man, speak. Where ts Smith? What's the mat ter with you. Clork (trembling): Please, Aldrich: Weil! Well! Clerk: Please, sir, Mr. Smith had already given up all the papers to the president, and the president has let it be known that he tntermils to put them in his satehel when he goes to Africa. Chorus Zounda! Drat! Stung again! . Make out the and get it shoot him with a Quietly, but Let's sign @ petition to save poor thing! Meantime sixty 4 little girls and boys are ‘working nights as well as days to the cotton spinning mills of the @ hundred thousand little ehildren in the city of New York 0 to bed literally hungry every Grown-up people able and are standing in line for |, and begging for work. And men who make our laws, and should be engaged in think- out these great economic prob- are raising thelr own sal- aries and trying to think of new annoyances to put upon a presl- dent who has dared to point them nil # sir. Hee] Hell! You see, it is this way, Burnham planned the new union station, Speaker Cannon and the real estate grafters planned butidings for the senate and the house. And now the house ring has planned @ Lincoln memorial which will serve as an ornamental fence and driveway connecting the rail road station with the office build- = B Faryod cin gow Soy ings. Which plan is favored by ii J a Intment with @ good fat | Burnham and Cannon and the real > may he job will he in New| estate ring. Hurrah for Lincoint York, and all that can be said of it| Sincerely, RATH. at present fs that it is the pick of the federal jobs in that »' Just) run through the offielal register and find which has the highest salary and that will be the one. ee At this writing T. BR. in having ‘all kinds of fun with certain mem- ot our federal assembly. He is up the census law, and de. to state whether he will scheme? I recommend that brain be secured and put on exhibition as the smallest spec- tmen yet discovered in the humana ‘The faithful Loeb fs fixed. It is asi said; he will not be a mem- school y curls, And cheeks of dainty pink As they mince along in a laughing throng. Look mighty nica, I think girls with thelr But I'd ike to know how cheeks can glow Like rosebuds in a bonch, On the daily fare of @ stule éclair, Ora m r luneh. i rler-Journal. sign or veto it. You remember the) _ etvil fot nadigg ie the ai) CHILDREN’S EVE TROUBLES grabthe-spolis plan come back| Have been made a special study by our specialist, Bring the little ones in for an examination tf you sus pect eye troubles, He will advise . you. Schuchard Optical Co., 1207 Becond Ay. Will T. RK. disappoint the graft Phere are some men jn congress the new office) BY PRISCILLA PRIM, A moat attractive and | | role of prof sional women belongs to the trained nurse. In fletion she is, portrayed as a ministering angel to whom sold) millionaires and fever pationts altke| lone their hearts. In reality she! | loads the ranks of professional and business women in the matter of ad Vanthgeous marriages This state of affaire mysterious nor accidental, Woman | nat her best as she goes Thor task of soothing pain, Hor ts neither Ue and endearing qualities are to| » fore and if the pationt be of! line persuasion, he readily nality with a halo, | matderted the train~ | ed nurse is one of the most indepen dent of women who work for a ily jing, There is better pay in her pro- | femsion than in any other epen to hoot eaptt year per the >») lf naturally a try ing experte Rut the struggle ts lessened by the cheering © inty that Uberal rewards are at the end of @ very straight and nar row path. A graduate from school must be a ff sional nurse, That her diploma. Hor $25 & week, and necessarily includ lodging, board and laundry. If she becomes @ skilled specialist her sor- 4 of oxacting tralning and test r of the the training vices rapidly increase in earning value. The girl who would become « nurse should look to her qualtfion- | tions. She should be physically and} hervously atrong, and immaculately heat about her person. She will aleo have need of unerring tact and pa- ence neratty speaking the women would make the best mothers make the beat nuress, The ta | i inatinet in & woman's heart mttenens of touch and i! can approach, ivil war there was not! uniformed or educated nurse} eountry, Today there are ap-| proximately 209,000 trained burses fh She United States, | “Vellow Bulterers, / the commuter whe alware boarded the train at Paradies Hil | seated himaslt fous tha the yo cooked at good morning minutes petth: Youre man bro “You have a delicate thr he said commiseratingly to be bothered that wa ‘The commuter hoatt Was something about which invited confiden “Have you been ma he asked, with apparent Irretevance seatmate | | ied long t - vor the! man, "W | commuter cautiously loosened round bis throat, and. turning toward his companion, dis- a an aheurd looking polka-/ jot Lad | “We've bean married lees than a od ahe Rave | year,"-he muttered, ” eraeped | me six for Chri his to « cordial, sympathetic arip. | rma The hand of bie een “| thought «, waid “Tt'e| only a year since I had my attack | of throat trouble”~-Youth’s Com- panion. Among Hix Rooks. Peractly what it means to be “It~ ry” 16 an open question. it top reading finition | aeetted in the lowtng mory | trom the Denver Repubi “Syntth dosen't strike me iter | Temarked & man, “yet he de-| 4 that he never feels eo com fortail® as when he is snugly set-| tied tn hie brary.” | “Oh, w * ne carpeting” on. tained hie companion. imith's konne te @ folding bed.” ere ee = “Come on, Michael; don’t lag behind the lady.” “Aw, | want ter walk where AD) BY WALTER B. STONE. Mr. Walter Randall whistied the latest ragtime success; then he sang tho first verse of “Annie Laurie,” and perpetrated three very tolserable puns, The girl on the other side of the richly-furnished room looked at him in wonder. “{ ean't comprehend you tonight, Walter,” she said. “You behave }like a minstrel man.” | Young Randall thrummed “Dixie” with his fingers on the arm of the great oaken chair. “Annice,” he declared, “I expect to make a coup very Woon; I can’t tell you all just now; but, if the market goes right, I will have some- thing to say to you.” © flush on Miss Warner's cheek showed very plainly that she knew the purport of the message to come. “You mean that you are taking a plunge in the Street?” she asked He nodded. “But you must not question me-—the matter is conft, dential.” | “Tell me, Walter, Then he very pri for he loved her, and this is the way of the grand passion. “It is Penobscot & Concord,” he confided. “Gibson, of Gihgon & Lane, put me on, It ts boutkd to go up, up, ‘way up, and then still high- she pleaded. ptly told her Randall bade her goodnight in the doorway—for he loved her, and this is another of |} the grand passion’s ways. | 30 minutes Mr AMERICAN WOMEN WHO WORK NO. 9—THE TRAINED NURSE 1 | plenty of those, but I want & land others have without labor on HE APPRECIATED A IN DRWBSCOT . | . ieee hunted up her rich, «rou id champlonship.” — felt his chin bi very dinky one at that.’ —a TH N WAI To KNOW WHERE TO FIND AN ACCEPT. PUZZLED! T am « newoomer 1 ated Seip” Wa clothes I wan! he fruite Te oon necure to sach Inborer product of his labor, as fozet, lara portion of his is wrong, and shoul tinue. To the whele >i Ae appropriate recitation fer alneariy a& possible, is t worthy ob- | achoolgirl for Lincotn's hie nay | Jeet of aay ramen They are planning some kind @f | “It, seem « that any man celebration of Li birthdey at should dare Juat 6 wanigt- the Casea " my Gaveh-|ance in wringing bread from the ter, whe pupil in that @ehool, | @weat of other men's faces.”—Abra- was directed to “get up” something | Lincoln fo recite wpe that oecasion, Of| course the «iri Tn @ subsequent search for some- and papa, In his thing which would be t of what would trintic Heattle, (owing. singte paragraph from Tin. coln's New York Gelivered | Micab, 6-4, hut found that fn one. tm 1866, belleving ty latort | case the sentiments expressed woul ut «of the “Great acl be objectionable pater” himself would be an re | ht of offering ortate recitation for his birthday. | substitute following postt wt, ata, m learned my smis- | fusion, but concluded to submit the take! Wh n@ «irl submitied my) whole matter to The star and ite selection (6 har teacher abe was in formed that It wouldn't do at all— it wae “not sultable for the oo- on "In the eariy days of our race, the Almighty anid to the first of man-| e in many readers. “This day we celebrate the birth Of the are or: Few men itke him have lived on arts You'll seidom find « greater; a the aweat of thy face) mut what he eald in eixty-five, fooah ne. mest geod Uhines Reve] waerver ony produce It rod ber, It follows " If you would live # gentieman, Just learn to swipe and use it!” Yours truly, 1. W. Mo#LARROW, 1633 Terry Ave. aoe a monished. “Morrison & Park and Swift & Co. and myself are into a Mttle bear deal. Keep quiet, dearte —— wateh Penobseut fall with a thud” Hia daughter reached up and ed his great red ear, “I ." she pouted, “Penobscot ac od dow “Hamph!" be snorted. “What's the matter with yout “It muste’t! It mustn't!” she in- sisted. Then she pulled him down to her and whispered, urgently, in- mal bee) th te LA But it bas so happened In all ages of the world that come have labored renee GOOD THING ae danced a little clog- Pp and bummed three airs from the opera “Ticonderoga” for ihe wondering «iri. The next day with Penobscot at 94%. he sold his holdings and sought Mr. J. Sloane Warner, bank er, He had ft all his way with th banker, only that he could not un derstand thé miliionaire’s twice-ut- tered warning. “You'll have to keep your eye on Annico. She is very, very tricky.” There was a very pretty scene in the richly-furnished parior that up-|*vening. It was one of the oldest vi pieces of business in the world, and Dad,” she pleaded, “tell me the outcome of it was, that Mi shou bucot & Concord,” Annice Warner admitted that, in “Go away,” he said, gruffty: “I'm a ee Mg = ye oor gin me ae e wife an weeding abogt the heavyweight |e of Walter Randa at Waiter, let's don't have one of those dreadfally long engagements.” it is the way of the grand passion, you know, And when Wurner,. th banker, dropped tn Uttle Iater, he hap- pened to get a piece of advice from his souin-law-to-be. ‘Say, Mr. Warner, I tell you, old Gibson is @ prophet. Told me the Precise truth about Penobscot & Concord. I believe you got fooled on that yourself, didn’t you?” Old Warner grunted and loft the but Miss Warner cuddled her lover. “Now, Waiter,” id, “don't #0 to talking ons with papa,” it's deen swept.” When he had gone, Aunice banker of a father and clit hi Harold's Wis! hough there was no sort of toy ght which Harold n his poaseusion, he still satiafied longings. what I wish ft waa, he sald one » when his ee wn big br had gone away and and the millionaire |the litte across the street ng tickled bi “It's @ railroad,” he sai bo it “and a ald tha In tt to play ps can mother will help you, er. But promise me, Annice, that| “But the stock?” whe asked TE sdecdt! wise Mile you will not breathe this to a| “Oh!” he snapped, “It wom't] ruiy” “sunt wish t aus te eink | soul,” bring 12 in two weeks, You wateh| dogs, 4 I coutd play ether | “L promise,” she said; and for|and remember 1. told you—but — = One thousand pieces Men's Under: “Because,” she said, She had| wear at half price, A, Bridge & jeen & woman for two years now,| Co.'s Clearance, First and Yesler “Now don't breathe that,” he ad- 0OR, ecm | Rotting the b UST HERE IT IS! IT’S THE INAUGURAL PARADE PUZZLE REET * In the Inaugural parade The * * Marine band will have no b: some * have 16 men and some 32 men, The bands with 16 men have & * blue brass drums. The bande with 32 men have red base #& * drums. The Marine band has 100 mon. in all there are 900 % We Mewis’” * musicians In the parade, How many blue bass drums are & * there? * Mm et Any More, Crooked ene ¢ ready hat on ey w “ln my ake *ihus, owing to the now style of |headwear, a traditional phrase uned Me feminine sex ever since wo wae created, received a stun~ blow.-dudge table mannere ny having toride e546 Times: iden Name Back, “There coos Muchwed, His wife was formerly Misw Hoandso, 1 be- iteye "You are aiightly behind the times, Mige Hoandso was rly his wite.” Kansas City Jou A marriet p are tinpraved. by y tor dink Unflinching Woman, “A woman has 9 sterner sense of Buty than 4 man.” “As to how?” f Man dreaded shopping do ws “ee Maude has & job as « cloak Noll model. Molle-—What » trying situation! annes 6 After « young woman birthdays, whe doesn't observe her but her frien Can you solve this puzzle of the “Biue Bass Drums”? ‘ Presidént-elect Taft will be inaugurated in a month, and then ¥ will be a grand parade in Washington, with much loud music. Bat how many BLUE BASS DRUMB will contribute to the noise 3 want to know. We don't caro a continental dern how many old 4 bass druma are banged, bat we do yearn for exact knowledge as 7 the BLUE BASS DRUMS. We ask our readers to figure It out for: us, Send us the answer, How many BLUE BASS DRUMS? Send” your answers to the Pursie Editor—Star. a ret Was Lomtent. mamma said fle bed ears on L overheard my two/| ail sides, and « stalk of corn is ng about the Sunday |onty thin know that has jon all sides.” The poet let evid about this ‘The peacemaker is euplantes w everybody except the fellow who In of the fight When you @ chronta how he ja and he says he can invalid nt Com- plain he must be pretty sick plenty of room eople who think 0 really were. There wovldn't b at the top if all th: they ought to be * d about | ‘hed her what God look-| When a girl thinks she has er— iad, . Grapheaster——The | ipadiedy say quickly answered: |#wan-like neck she is apt to mal fiah is #004 for the brain. jaliroom—Well, If she continues t to we sig Gays a week oa ike, and “G04 looks like @ stalk of corn, be-|s goose of herself over {2 we oon know enough to leave. e 23 ’ Hebbubs—Do you have any police M Fotect! oyt where you live? Ppubby by > trouble about en s j that. We a oon on the it corner and en Irish cock in the kitchen. “*-* ‘ommy—Pop, «a man te a bachelor untli he gets married, tant he? ‘commy ® Pop--Yes, my fon. ‘ommy-—-And what dose he Mimselt gfterwar Spring Lids —spruce up $3.00 it has been for the gloomy winter seuilih but Lane taste het decldedly out of eal myo Pop! to tell you, my son ‘ Nea Shiave ot “Bina. —discard that old tile funday S&ehoo! Teacher we joarn from the y Tuffner—Not to get stung, “ee What are you orytng, for? Re-because poor little Fi howling. Weill; what's Fide howling —our first shipment of Men’s Spring Hats is in, including the newest blocks and ings. see a whole window of them, one pri Dollars—note the nifty shapes and rich color- among which are Manila, Acorn, Morocco, eetieth, Lonel Gunda vod Chcuas Be-because Pm erring, I eup- eee Netural Supposition. A Denver lawyer wee reading aper at his heme why a the room and eaid the ready, oment till I finish this,” Three hat are you reading?” she * aexed —and there's a hat-value in every one—your mon- pout = buchetshop wer which fs om In Chicago.” ey’s worth clear through. ‘ “A bucket war, from her Weil. rea pase we'll be able to buy buckets al lower prices soon EASTERN OUTFITTING CO. (Incorporated) 1332-34 Second Av. 209 Union St. “Seattle's Reliable Credit House"* see Wil This Amuse the President? “te it tre asked the rural con- the congressman who was ing bim the sights, “that ail the senators are millionaires? “Ne, Wi , Taplied the represen- tative, “Bome of them have been here only one term. “Chicago News. A Willing Servant. Me wanted the comforts of hom: Ite pretty hard to find « grand- mother hewadays who waan't @ clev- we on ite stem Were the charms of My Lady com- pared Her charms still inepire—trom her chic Loupee jose -clinging gown's trall- The Victor—the Fireside Theatre You think you can tell the difference be- tween hearing grand opera artists sing and hearing their beautiful voices on the Victor. But can you? In the Opera House corridor scene in “The Pit,” at Ye Liberty Theatre, Oakland, Cal., the famous quartet from Rigoletto was sung by Caruso, Abbott, Homer and Scotti on the ictor, and the delighted audience thought “ they were listening to the singers themselves. "A Mortia River oysterman attend. At Rector’s, the noted Chicago Restaur- od « band cont tn con ant, when some of the grand opera stars sang, with piano accompaniment, the diners listened with rapt attention and craned their necks to get a glimpse of the singers. But it was a Victor. In the rotunda of Wanamaker’s famous Philadelphia store the great pipe organ ac- companied Melba on the Victor, and the peo- ple rushed from all directions to see the singer. Even in the Victor laboratory employes often imagine they are listening to a singer making a record while they really hear the ng hem; But the Rose ‘seems no longer the fit aimite— My Lady resembles the «tem! Puck ‘The Igeorant ©; Walter Damrosch, the noted. com- r and conductor, sal in St. Lowle that “t fewer divorce A was more high ade muste tn the a this ingenious argu- d red an almost started Planiasime eon, put ao ver ear trumpet to hie ear on aid this the = oysterman t or ai? the deat ola Look here, that don’t ody know, with your oa! mister, You can't foot ly Kautpped, a ve and Rethy look- Victor. door for ttle someth eat” was told that he might have it tt he would work « while at the wood he shook his head “Eve got the ague.” he expl nd omy han hit You owe it to yourself to investigate the possibilities of this wonderful musical in- strument. nf a is that -unstiddy 1 one nore'n «in “AN right!” exclatm mis tress of the house ‘Qo out in the back yard and shake those ashes for me.”—Youth’a Companion the All passenger stoamers loave Col- man docks for Puget Sound Navy Yards. od CLEARANCE SALE All Fall Stock of Clothi Hata, Sb Pacific Coast Distributors of Victor Talking Machines. 1406 Second Ay, es and Men's Purnial ing Goode at loss than half price RAINIER CLOTHING STORE 1104 Firat Ave.