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@o ‘ ssiathiceaiiaiiaieiieminces 1H SEATTLE STAR SATURDAY, AUGUST 22, 1008 pC ne il Bis _ THE SEATTLE STAR |OSGAR UND ADOLF LISTEN) STAR DUST |_ . 0UTBURST OF EVERETT TRuE ___ EVERY AFTERNOON EXCEPT SUNDAY, TQ MR. WwW. R. HEA RST a 1h THERE'S ANYTHING Panna PHONES | conneot, with all de Dey Gife Him an Audience Atder Tracking der Iniispensary Barty to Ids Lair, Partmente—ask for department or name of person SannLas Wi T= = © und Get Some Epitaphs—Beg Pardon, Epigrams—Unloadét Upon Dem. EVERETT STAR AGENCY—Hor BLOOD 40), 173 YO 34k A Twos AUNM OX LIKE YOU DRIVING A Hyg p, LES9 TOY HORSE AROUND dy yg. Hor SUN i! PALL OUT OF Twang AND LEAD THAT OuyKIT BACK % TH, STABLE OR /44 MarR HAMBURG STEAK OF You “Often a man pockets his pride 0 he kin pocket RA— The date when ¥ your money.” that date t Sou aneuld mise 't Would Seem Bo. Gyer—1_ unders was married lagt Myer—Yes; be married a clair. voy alee tt : a Me Way We cam be certalp of givTag oUF sumsorTere & perfect serrloe- the ray We af young Sears SAMUEL GOODLOVE COSGROVE r—Indeed! Case of love at necond wight, 1 suppose. Samuel Goodlove Cosgrove, lawyer and farmer, of Pome pt ron grohagage “Dd you ever see @ real Hindoo idol?” queried the interviewer “Did I ever see a Hindoo idle!” exclaimed the globe trotter. “Say, I never saw one at work,” toy, Wash,, seems quite likely to bécome the republican candi date for governor. The only prominent candidate in the race whose record has not been and cannot be attacked, he has become the first or second choice of an undoubted majority of the republican voters of the state. While Mead and McBride are busily engaged in pointing out the faults of each other—of which there are many—Cos- grove is making a most effective campaign for votes for himself —a campaign in which there have been spoken few unkind words, and in which he is appealing for support on the ground that he has been long in the ranks, is deserving of promotion, believes himself intelligent, knows that he has been honest in all his dealings with his fellow men, and has been successful By Special Permission. A firm of shady outside London brokers was prosecuted for swind. ling. In aequitting them the court, with great severity, said “There is not sufficient evidence to convict you, but if anyone wishes to know my opinion of you, 1 hope | that you will refer to me.” Next day the firm's advertisement | Appeared in every available medinm with the following, well displayed Reference as to probity, by spectal permission, the lord chief justice of Bagland.”—Kvery body's Magazine. Mrs. Jack dropped her “Jack, here is a list of nine out of ten were i in a professional and a business way. ¥ HE PROCEEDED TO READ HISS MEMORIZABLE KEYNOTE SPOOCH TO US IN SOODING SIRUP Couldn't Afford to Throw it Away. ¥ cause of incompatibility, What éosp A square deal” is what this engaveg — ver wie TONES VICH LURED ADOLF To SLUMBER. Uncle’ Ebb (feebly)—Well, Hi A “jad ven very a tor & bus ree fses if he is nominated and elected, and those who know him nah, I reckon you had better call re! pr 4 Special Despooch From Ongar to Fred Schnefer. : , | band of five months, he drew es say that this promise will be kept, At home in Pomeroy, where aaa eee Se . did er. So chilies aroun’ ese, ‘cause I be-| the Gélenary ” mere ‘ é ’ ; oe + for five] New York, . Now York—|me, 1 was so flustered when I made | dente.” ‘ : he is best known, they kept him in the mayor's chair fo’ Me und Adolf haf pulled off der| My speech, I almost forgot my! “The Democratic vanguard ie a), Att Hannab—No, you ain't. You Alte or six terms, and they will tell you there that he served his| ¢eatest chournalistig beat ofer yor, |{ines, But some of the things I Falsetaft's army a om an pr Rag Bony 8 wes! - : . es el a Rll Tee in, {Maid were heavenly, don't you “It is led by « knight in motley @ medicine t people well. His fields and pastures and a law practice Be] We hat discofered der endire Na-| think? When not In motley "he tn im Lig, | Wat I done gone and paid a dollar incom patibility, “ as he could faithfully look after, have given him sufficient to tional Indlapenency Barty. ee lew? tolt him yous, we dit nod coln, Neb.” jana a half for.—Judge, agrees with Mr. aR . ewer-— jon Ly “Ite banner bears on one side a ayo bought that house next door to him; Mrs. Frank is | * keep the wolf some distance from the door, although he is by] gomepody tried to steer us off on “De | Anothe h . : i 7 / you beliet der new barty chatelaine watchword for the people Bother reason why men don't fo! about Mra. Haines, yet they run in each other's mo means wealthy. ee ee heating to Themes L via segure bleaty of subbort?” wane and on the other a grandfather's sth po don pooh gta out even knocking; while all these people get divorces * b : y x . " © seheimers der next conundrum. elockword for the trusts 4 can't agree.” ‘ . And with this record he is asking for the support of the | unq aecidet dot Hingen wass but | “Yes, indeed.” a look of pain leaf-|*enwe Republican platform says! aio Just then thelr bachelor friend rang the bell and when hecms [en te republican voters of the state. Wise politicians say he is|allas for Hearst, ing his face, “T am going to aup- nothing. It is like John D. Rocke-| No Disappointment Here. in they explained the situation to him. succeeding and that he will be nominated, either through first OP ay fount der eminence etitor in| port it If It breaks me,” fetter on the witness stand. The| A man who had been convicted of “It's this way,” said the bachelor, “when @ man cant ‘ 5 SU) nie . . ecantimonial surréundet by Der remainder of der dialogue Democratic platform contains some stealing was brought before a cer with his neighbor, he has sense enough not to quarrel choice votes, or through the failure of any one of the candidates | back numbers, of vich he wass mak- wass a monologue. Der Indispen-| good and original things, but the | tain “down east” Judge, well known| It's different with a man’s wife; when he dissgrees with . ; is a ing ® perusing to see how hives pa- sary Harty proceedet to read hiss good things arc not in the original for his tender-theartedness, to be| wants to convince her that she is wrong and before she “i to secure 40 per cent of the first choice. In this event each can-| i stoot on der Wretsidencial ts-| memorisable ke: ‘ table " yaote spooch an packages, and the original things #entenced he gets mad, talks loudly, pounds the and calls ber ( didate’s first and second choice votes are counted jointly, and |sues, Dinking we wass refagecs sooding sirup tones vich lured Adol{,are good and scarce.” Have you ever been sentenced to “I've been made to ‘feel perfectly at home’ in so , aa ‘ % ; ,|from der comig subblemend, he to «lumber, leafing me der sole suf. “it ts the habitation of a hermit imprisonment?” asked the e,| that I know what ['m talking about. Married fotke tath as Cosgrove is admittedly the second choice of a great majority greetet us like brudders. ferer. Here tas some of der chai, erehs, and that kind of «@ crab is | not unkind! — “A man can't stand it to sit across the table from @ of those who will vote for either Mead or McBride, his nom “We yoult luff to inquisitive you, est epigrams exhumed by Mr. jalways shellfish.” “Never!” exclaimed the prisoner,| who knows how mean he can be. It makes him feel feation mist follow. blease,” I debatet. “Why ins id you Hearst: }. “Bryan has killed the fatted calf, | suddenly bursting into te: and of all things © man likes {¢ is to feel kindly disposed came back from Europe to your The old parties of today are.om) lot he still has my goat.” | “Well, well, don't ery . man,”} himeeit. With such a man at the head of its state ticket, the re-|confention, Instead of doing your the toboggan. Unfortunately, they) “Dot Hstens Ike a fake of na- said his honor consolingly; “When a man feels that he Is getting so well acquainted with: “you're " . steam rolling by der long dis seem to be nalled to it” Aure.” 1 tulatet jfoing to be now.” —Bverybody' wife that be dares to say exactly what he thinks regardless . i » xpos ye ha y ot publicans of Washington would have no need to apologize tance? “The Republican party is the; “Thank you for your kind ova-| Magazine feelings It is time for him to take a vacation, for he can't Hve when asking support for that ticket. All of the elements that 1 guess epigrams ins cheaper as hand maldea of the trust—the mapa tion. he answered, bowing; “T'd| - should make a splendid candidate, and afterward a splendid ee eee pede ar ps Girl, a5. wore, of the oot < to have yoo joia our little| gevernor scem to be combined in him. ideelut tn. | “The Democratic party ts a Honored by his alma mater with the degrees of Batchelor ouanY” Enka Rn ally oot- | 44 imitate ite steter—th me's f of Arts and Master of Arts, with a record of service well per-|= formed upon many battlefields of the civil war, success in his profession and in the development of his many acres of grain fields, and an integrity that no man has ever questioned—this with the good will of all who know him, however slightly, and the affectionate regard of those who know him well, should her happily after he has talked. “It is a sad day for 4 man when he finds out that sees through his blaff aud that it is therefore no use to bluffing. “The wise woman pretends she thinks her busbend Uttle lower than the angela, even after she reads him “When a man knows that his wife knows just how on the inside he hates himself, then he begins to hate ~~then they sit down and talk it over and discover ists an Incompatibility of temper which makes them bie a living together in peace and harmony.” “And it is all because 4 man thinks he bas a right to say a thing he wants to to his own wife,” eried Mrs. Jack. a “And because they both talk too much,” said the “Sure,” sald Adolf, vaking up sud-| Dv jencely, itke a cuckoo clock. “Dear everything except electing pt ‘Who's going to buy?” ne esi ea) WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT-- i | i ‘i . ” . NOW I Lay me bring to “Sam” Cosgrove the prize he seeks. nn me And if he should be nominated and elected, the state of rr @?THE KER~? Washington could be justly proud of its chief executive. WHOLESALE DRU Everything in Its Place. DOWN-TOWN STORE | JIM AGNEW AND HIS CANDIDACY Pleasing Possibilities avian eae ' When the afterne ts laget i On ite slow way wward the tusk, ee eae f ‘ | And with wilted spirits sagging -ornce ‘ f “Jim” Agnew, candidate for the republican nomination for | You feel acsiens as 8 heck surat mecetomm arom THE art k sheriff, is a likeable man. He has some qualities that are to i be admired and consequently has a lot of friends. But “Jim” Agnew isn't any more fit to become sheriff of this county than is “Tom” Page to become prosecuting attor- mey—and Page as prosecuting attorney would be absolutely ; ible. ' “Jim” Agnew stands for everything that is unclean and i corrupt in the government of King county. He is responsible —hbecause he could prevent it—for the grafting done through the office of the county commissioners. A paid official of the county, he spends his afternoons at The Meadows playing the races. The remainder of the time he owes the county is spent in an effort to secure the nomina- tion for sheriff. He wants the office for the purpose of making a lot of money and for that purpose alone. He wants Rutherford and Beckingham to succeed themselves as county commissioners and “Doc” Brier to become auditor When we think of what might happen in the next two years with this quartet in office we are reminded of the story of the good housewife, who, lamenting the disappearance of gumerous and sundry articles, remarked that “everything had gone but the hired girl and the cooking stove.” Do the people of King county want to take the chance this housewife took when she hired the girl? oe == = a oe! | And as dry, you get to thinking | You might find « little cheer In the slow and quiet drinking Of a little nice cold Nthia water. nd ers e | When the golden sunset’s faded 5] i |. And dusk's turning Into dark, ’ ars sre Leaving you still awful jaded Aad away below the mark, Then « feeling of suspicion in you's likely to begin You could better your condition WIth some seltzer, limes and ice. At Our Pike Street Store Only And when time comes for your rest- | ing Poaiag avs oa oll — TODAY and TONIGHT } | You are certain you're not jesting 5 When you say you think your|| OPTIMO—12ic size, straight ....... se eeeeeeeceeeem 4 grouch GATO—12%c size, straight | Would relax its awful fetter, il BELMONT. 2\4e size, straight All other “bi ize Cigars, straight . That you'd not feel near so bum | And you'd sleep a whole lot better For a slug of demon apollinaris. Pack. a ae” | TRAVELER—Regular Sc ... SARATOGA Recaior Se: i —Regular 5c Store Open Till Ten This Evening call in and select that “he Suit for Fall-the Men's | Here is 2 novel scheme for Taft and Bryan marching clubs this | fall. The game is to organize companies and drill them so that | while marching they will form theletters of their favorite candi date’s na an shown in the pic tare. 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