The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 22, 1906, Page 8

THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, MONDAY, JANUARY 22, 1906 THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL JOHN D srnucxg[fiuu....,... ADDRESS ALL COMMUNICATIONS TO McNAUGHT. . . TION OFFICE....ceseses __THIRD AND MARKET STREBTS, SAN FRANCISCO ......JANUARY 22, 1906 JOHN MONEY, STOCKS AND STAPLES. were no striking features to trade last week. The ex- over high money rates has subsided with the recession es themselves to normal figures, money is flowing back < from the interior, the European money markets have ed of tension, and the financial world is now breath- rtably again. With this disturbing condition eliminated ion there are no longer any sensations to attract the lure the planger in funds. s continue the center of observation. It is the railroad and industrial stocks of the country their high plane, but actually continue to ad- the Stock Exchange for weeks has ranged in of has been upward, with the copper stocks doing all sorts things. “On Friday Anaconda rose from $252 to $283, e of $31 in practically a single session. The dividend mated Copper was eagerly awaited, and for a day or two stock market was in a state of suspense over its rate. redictions this way and that kept the market for all tremor. It was finally announced as 1% per rhood a stocks continues to exceed the selling, and the financi last summer and fall, have already bgen realized. hese erstwhile bulls, it is remarked, are not as enthusiastic now Vhile many still predict even higher prices all are sending t 1 ary notices to their conmstituents advising-them to pro- ed with ca nd take profits on all advances, and some say at stocks 2 " Is. But no violent decline or anything approach- anic is expected as long as the standard railroad and in- tocks contir 5 and 6 per cent dividends based on to pay It used to be provisions. Their advances and recessions ponding periods of activity or dullness. and steel industry succeeded as the indicator of the condition Now it is the course of the national stock market. It is most casual observer that if the majority of the rail- rporations and vast combinations of capital are* pay dividends of 5 and 6 per cent month after month iness of the country must n-cessarily be very active. Hence en watch the stock market as they used to watch provisions the market is now a reasonably faithful reflector of ade conditions of the country all, the bank clearings are as good an indicator as , widespread and composed of many widely dif- , when the eye, skeptical perhaps, of the ex- hree indicators just ‘mentioned, turns to the upon an autornatic, cold-blooded and ter. t as sensitive as the others. Now, some years been expanding right along. a gain over the corresponding week of the e aggregate clearings themselves are vast e natural increase to the steady increase great o« honest rests these clearings amounted to the enormous total of of the sixty cities reporting, only four showed a The net gain for the whole country was 35.6 to this .showing the trade of the country last 35.6 per cent larger than for the same week last year. It will be hard for the croaker to convince any- ss is not steadily expanding, in the face of these This is what Wall street is basing .its calculations s is what is sending stocks up, or permitting them Finally there is the exhibit of failures, which is up tention r the same week last year. There is nothing striking in the showing of the staples. All es, cotton, wool, grains, hides and leather, iron and steel and eir varied prodt are reported in excellent demand and at ces as a.ru Wool is rather quieter than some months ve lately been showing some easiness. Cotton, on is very firm. "The different. mills and factories are 1ing fu Y Labor is employed up to its limit of units almost here, and at wages undreamed of a few years ago. The dis- ie of the country was never more active, and is ad- ted only by unseasonal weather. This, however, is a t ays with us. Locally there is nothing new. Great rains all over the State e r(‘n‘p"r‘u])’ changed the business aspect, and the State is wet one end to the other. With the usual spring precipitation undant crops will probably be harvested this year. The outlook for continued prosperity in California is therefore very bright, and ve have no cause for complaint. Tadmitted, and much subway work has been done, to the im- provement of the appearance and the safety of streets. Now it is said that the Western Union Telegraph Company proposes to put its wires over the Sierras underground; in order to secure safety from storms and prevent the interruption of communication. It often happens in a time of mountain storms that the two coasts are entirely cut off from intercourse by wire, or it has to be sought by such roundabout way as to inflict loss and inconvenience. If mountain lines are made subterranean, all other lines will follow. In the winter of the Middle West.and the East whole-sys- tems of telegraph are put out of commission by storms. In the re- affected by electric storms wires and instruments are de- ywed by lightning, and the accidents risk life and property. There s no reason why gales and lightning should not be avoided by a general subway system for all electric wires. Its first cost is large, but the cost of maintenance will be reduced. The destruction of poles will be saved, and telegraph service will be made sure and continuous, no matter what storms beat and lightnings flash above ground. It is probable that in a few years it will seem as atural to have land lines underground as it now is to have cable nes under water. It is said that this work will begin on the line from Truckee to ue Canyon in a3 short time, and the world will take notice that (alifornia has the first underground telegraph wire on a mountain cystem. UNDERGROUND WIRES. HE need of underground electric wires in cities has long been rests Mr: Carnegi autobiography can scarcely be as exciting as that of ¢ of his prominent associates in the steel business would be if they d be persuaded to write frankly.—Washington Star. RS AARS. A Perisian is said to have invented a skate that is propelled by a motor. In the American “skate” alcohol is commonly the motive power.—Balti- more Sun S g e R The Suitan of Turkey does not observe Christmas, but he makes up for it by having numerous April Fool days for the powers.—Kansas City rnal. P I e ¢ We cannot but admire the frankness of the Panama Canal Commission in employing a press agent and asking Congress to pay his salary.—Chicago News. 1,500,000 shares, and the general tendency of | her prices all along the line, so ireely made by | ~adily passing from strong to weak hands and that | g procedure is completed it will be in order to| Then the | rings thus far in January are 7 per cent larger than | They amounted to 274 last week, against 305 OHI MY POOR HUSBANY, ORI OFFCERS! DONT! DONT SHOOT) Hitt! CAPTURE HIM, BUT DON'T| ;1 LMY HES ugot#l%un_?! DONT, { Do S o o S { (COPYRIGHT, 1905, BY THE MEW YORR EVENING TELEGRAM (NEW YDRX KERALD CO1 | | €€ T'S just 7 o'clock,” said’Squibob, l “and so you have plenty of time to dress yourself carefully for the theater. With this margin of time, | Henrietta, you can surely have no ex- | cuse for being unprepared at the last | moment, a trait wholly confined to | vour sex.” “Yes, dear; I'll start dressing now at once,” said his helpmeet dutifully. “And I myself will show you a good example In promptness,” sald Squibob, kindly. “I'll start right in now myself. | By the way, where are my things?” “Here they are.” “Put the shirt studs in one, will you? | And—er—by the way, this dress suit is rather rumpled. I must have tossed ft about in the drawer. You are rather JUST LIKE A WOMAN +| TA RISIN handy at those things, Henrletta: can’t you press it into some sort of shape?”’ “All right, dear.” “And while you are at it, fix the pearls in my shirt front. Goodness! 1 wish you'd chase up my cuff links.” Mrs Squibob flew around with deft and willing hands, gathered the mas- culine apparel together, while Squibob | calmly dressed himself in the intervals | of his rapid fire directions. “Got my top hat?” he asked. “Good. Now please fix my necktie, and—why—er—er——" Squibob gasped in surprise, looked at the clock hands, which pointed to 8, and then surveyed the flurried little woman. “Goodness!” he sald in fine scorn. “Aren’t you dressed yet? Well, if that isn’'t just Illke a woman."—Chicago Record-Herald. I 2 THOSE PUZZLING TELEGRAMS, HE was reclining in a low chair in S the drawing-room, thinking about her dear Willle, who had been legally her property for the space of three months, when a telegram arrived for her. Hurriedly tearing open the buff envelope she scanned the contents, then'fell back in a swoon. The message was from her brother in the city and read: “Will run over to-day. —George.” Her maid at last restored her to con- sclousness. Her Willle run over! She could not grasp the full significance of | it. One thing she would do—go to him at | once. Bo she hastily attired herself and at length reached her brother's office, WHY THE NEWS IS SUPPRESSED. A country exchange has this to say ebout printing all the news: “A man stopped us on the street the other day and said we did not publish all the news. We should say not. In the first lace, there’s somebody else depend- fng on us for a living. If we published all that happened we would be with the angels. In order to please the peo- ple we must print only the nice things sald of them and leave the rest to gos- sip. Yes, it's a fact, we don't print sll the news. If we did, wouldn’t it be spicy reading? But it would be for one week only. The next week you would read our obituary and there would be a new face in heaven. All the news is all right when it is about the other fel- low.” —————— Percy—I'm afrald of Miss Isabel. Guy—Why? “Oh, she looks at me as if she could make me propose if I were left alone with her.”—Life. extemporaneous. (>4 MAN—What would you say if I were to kiss you? MAID—I don’t know. That sort of speech should always be who, having sent the news, would be able to tell her all about it. “How is he? Where have they taken him?” Her brother stared at her stupidly. ““Oh, don't keep me in suspense! me where he is!” ““Where who 1s?” “Why, Willle, of courss.” ““At his office, I suppose. I haven't seen him to-day.” ““Then what does this mean? Is this one of your silly jokes?” George took the flimsy paper from his sister, read his own message, then ex- ploded with laughter. It was a long time before he could convince her that his simple intimation that he would run over and pay her a visit was not a detestable practical joke.—Tit-Bits. Tell R T 0 R R S 2 Ty 7 17 g g SOLOMON’S GREAT WEALTH. Bolomon was not only the wisest but the richest man the world has ever seen, says the Tatler, though, like the Cezar, who alone can be compared to him in wealth to-day, he had to keep all his relatives. He.ds sald to have owned a fortune of £800,000,000, and David, his father, left half as much for the bufld- ing of the Temple. Croesus, whose name is even now a synonym for vasi wealth, possessed £400,000,000, and Lu- cullus, famous for his dinners and his manusoripts, £120,000,000. Alexander the Great made his wars pay, for he brought back £160,000,000 from Persia. As a general rule it was unsafe to be very rich In classical times. —_——————— 3 Townsend's California glace fruits and choicest candies in artistic fire- etched boxes. New store, 767 Market. ¢ ————————— s Ell)eclnl hlnrorm;uan supplied d:fly to usiness houses and public men the Press Clipping Buruum(‘wcn‘l) l.’cul: fornia street. Telephone Main 1063 ¢ UNPREMEDITATED ELOQUENGCE. e e — G STAR | —_— HE Chicago drummer who was ar- I rested fof assaulting the landlord of a South Dakota hotel found that there was only one lawyer In the village, and that he had already been retained by the plaintiff. In this emergency he de- murred to being tried, as he was not law- yer enough to plead his own case, but the justice of the peace calmly replied: ““This court will see that you have all your rights. Anybody seen Jim Peters around here?’ ‘‘He's outdoors,” answered some one. “Then call him in."” Jim turned out to be a long and lathy farmer’s hired man, and not at all bright looking, and as he entered the room his Honor querfed: “Jim, which end of the first?"” “The hinder end, sir.” nd a horse?” “The fronter end.” “All right. This drummer has given Jos Harris a black eve and wants a lawyer to prove that Joe ran ag'in the door casing and blacked it himself. I'lapp’int you as his counsel.” “But I'm no lawyer.” “But you've got common sense, as you've just proved, and that's better yet. Go right ahead.” Jim went ahead, and in ten minutes he had the other side so tangled up that his Honor laid his spectacles aside and said: “No use to go any further. There may have been a row, and probably there was a row, but Jim is getting ready to prove that the landlord was out in the barn and the drummer across the street, and there's no use taking up the time of this court. I'll divide the costs and the parties had better shake hands, while as for Jim Peters, he's a rising star that will con- tinue to rise until it won't be considered no crime, around here to jump another man’s claim and steal his wi‘e along with it."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Pointed Paragraphs. Many a man who smiles and says noth- ing is a lar, cow gets up It takes & deaf mute to sing those songs without words. A man who profits by wrong-doing al- ways has an excuse ready. ‘When a man boasts of having sown his wild oats he never pauses to explain just what he means. It costs twice as much to live now as It did a hundred yedrs ago—but it’s worth every cent of the difference. How often it happens that the cream of soclety is made up of people who have money, but are unable to remember how they got it!—Chicago News, WHY SOME GIRLS ARE UNMARRIED, N i BY DOROTHY FENIMORE. PICKED up a London magazine, l the Ladies’ Pletorial, the other day, and read the following extract: “How should we get married If there were no London season?’ asked the debutante. “Some of you would get married if you were bricked up in an ogre's castle and had to be rescued,” sald the Amer- ican millionaire. “And ten season’s wouldn’t marry the rest.” Then the article goes on to say that there is an ever increasing evidence that people no longer lose thbeir heads because they have already lost their hearts; that it is only the heroes and heroines of penny novelettes who tall desperately in love and behave with extra foolishness in conseguence. If the writer meant to imply that all girls with love inspiring disposi- tlons are destined to marry, whether they would or not, I am not so sure about it. Some ofithe sweetest. most lovable girls I ever knew, just the kind who would have made ideal wives, who were pretty and willing to marry, have remained single through no fault of thelr own. Circumstances alter cases, and In no other way more noticeably and radic- ally than In the matter of matrimony. The fact that there are more girls than young men in most communities Is largely responsible for it. The change- ability of man is an important fac- tor. A young man wooing a pretty girl often turns to one less attractive and marries her through the merest whim. The fact that he has indicated by his devotion that he has serious inten- tions keeps other young men away from the first girl for a considerable time, and by the time she has had several such experiences with fickle men she has grown from girlhood into & matrimonial uncertainty. Or the boyhood sweetheart whom she seemed destined to wed may have moved from the village to the big city and there have fallen In love with and married another girl, while she, poor deluded woman, went on loving and pining until no one else wanted her. Or the young man who wooed her may have suddenly become ambitious and mercenary at the same time and transferred his flexible affections to the banker’s plain daughter, who lived on another street. There are hundreds of ways in which sweet girls worthy of being rescued from an ogre’'s castle, who by all the laws of sexual attraction should have been wives, are left in the ranks of the ever aging unmarried. And by the same token there are thousands of plain young women being led to the altar each year whom we look at and ‘wonder at thelr achievement. About fhe evidence that people no long- er lose their heads because they have al- ready lost their hearts I am not con- vinced, either. But I know that it ought to be so. 1t all women had the gift of keeping their heads when they lose their hearts there would be much less matrimonial misery in this world, there would be many more tolerable and happy homes and fewer divorces. I conflned that remark to women be- cause my observation shows me that men cannot be charged with this offense. Men do not lose their heads while wooing, or while in love. They make thelr sweet- hearts and nearly everybedy else around them think that they do, but they are only shamming. They are using their brains all the time to further their scheme, so that in the end they may ex- DOROTHY . FENIAIGRE o —p ercise their own will. Théy have an easy triumph over the girls, whom love has turned Into sfily creatures, who are ever studying the wishes of their sweethearts and have mo higher aim tham to trot around after them and go where they lead them. They prove so docile and easily broken to harness that it ls little wonder that men tire of tham soon after the chase is ended and the game captured and tamed. As a contemporaneous writer aptly puts it, a tame bird is as uninteresting as any barnyard fow', and man’s sportsmaniike instinet urges him on after more elusive and tempting game, often following Into other flelds where hurting is forbldden. Keep the men guessing: keep some tempting bait in sight; let them see that there are charms in your makeup that are held In reserve and are worth going after. In other words, when in love keep your head and you will be loved longer and more ardently. You will be much more tempting than the silly girl who gives herself away at wholesale, who becomes a bankrupt in the power to please and to allure. Remember that the rule holds equally good after you are married, for variety is the spice of life, and men are fond of variety and of spices. OCCIDENTAL BY A. J. WATERHOUSE — ACCIDENTALS | | -+ DESCENT OF MAN. CRBATURE of the simian race was A dying in Alglers— There really was no Algiers them, but do not mind, my dears— And another creature Plelocene was kneeling by his side To hear what he might murmur ere he launched upon the tide. The dying simian faltered as he took his wife's paw, And he sald: “This. derned progression is the slowest thing I've saw, And you bet it makes me weary of this . dratted earthly scrape When I think it took a million years to make of me an ape. “I remember, I remember,” the dying simian said, 3 “When I was just a polyp on the sea’s tumultous bed, An oozy, woozy polyp made of 00zy, woozy slime, And you, my love, were swashing in the breakers at the time. There we lived and loved each other in our 00ZY-WO0ZY WAy, And I was then a polyp king and you my consort gay. We died and lived and dled and lived a thousand times or so; And then we were starfishes in the world of long ago. “Ah, those were happy times, my pet, as you perchance recall, When we two floated where we pleased, with none to heed at all. But still we dled, and still we lived, and dled and lived, I mind, Until we were two lobsters of a most fe- roclous kind; But yet our love was e'er the same, al- though it oft was spoiled ‘When man, the prehistoric man, would eat our partner boiled; And yet we evoluted on from shape gro- esque to shape, Until T loved you best of all as a primor- dial ape. “Now hear, my love—-" His accents broke. A gulp, and he resumed: “Now hear, my love, and contemplate the fate to which we're doomed, A million years evolved a tall"—the simian paused to cough— “Another million years or so will evolute it off. You ses, we made a sad mistake that ought to make us groan; ‘We 414 not need a tail at all, if only we shudder if you can, And shed great tears—we're going to be— a woman and a man! “Ah, yes, we'll be—excuse these tears— t:e dreaded things I name, ‘Will know dull care and penury, and misery and shame. . WHEN THE WORLD’S TROUBLES BEGAN. -~ . clothes now, ADAM—It looks right enough, but she’ll always be wanting ALH/YA i This drdtted evolution’s slow, but, oh, it grinds us fine— Just place my tail weak'ning paw of mine, For I would feel it stiil is here”--A sigh; his moments ra But his dying paw yet clutched the tail that proved him simian. Oh, I don’t know how you may feel; I don’t know what you've thunk, But I confess ['ve sympathy for that sa- gacious monk. prehensile in this A HERO AND A HERO. “Well, who are you?" Saint Peter in- quired of the military-appearing soul that strutted up to the gate. “I'm a hero.” was the immediats and confident response. “What makes you think so? Saint Peter Peter asked. 'Why, everybody admitted it on the earth whence I came,” was the response. ““The newspapers advertised the fact, my name was on the lips of everybody, and my praises were sung by all people.” “Probably they were right,” Saint Peter mused; “still—well, what did you do?"” “I—I—well, I killed thousands of my fellow men.™ “Killed them yourself?” “Er—not exactly, but I showed other men how to do it, and everybody admitted that the principal credit was mine.” “Did, hey?” Saint Peter remarked. Wail, you wait here outside the gate a minute. I want you to observe the soul that I see coming. I happen to be acquainted with it.” A poor, commonplace, rusty-looking soul strolled up to the gate, and looked very much as If it would like to ask to come in, but did not dare. ““Well,” Saint Peter brusquely remarked, “your name?" “John Smith,” was the answer. “Were you recognized as a hero on earth, too?" “Oh, no,” was the reply; “the idea is preposterous. I am soiTy to say that there was nothing herolc about me.” “What did you do?” *“Oh, nothing worthy of mention. You see, I had my wife and six children to care for, and, as my salary was but sixty dollars a month, I had no time to do herolc things, even If I had had the capacity.” “Did you give your children the show of which you speak?" “Ah, yes, 1 thank God that I was en- abled to see them all educated and doing well before I left them and came up here.” “Was it not a difficult and trying task— on sixty dollars a month?” “Well, it took close figuring, but, thank God, I suceeded.”™ Did you never complain of your lot?" “Oh, I often wearled, but how could I complain when I saw that the children were dolng well?” “Here,” sald Saint Peter, “the gate's wide open to you—pass right In. You are heaven's idea of a hero.” The military-appearing soul was at- tempting to pass in at the same time. but Saint Peter stopped it. “No, you don’t!” he said. “You will have to go down stairs for a while. After you have been down there for a few centuries, and have In the meantime por dered well the difference between heav. and earth’s idea of a hero, perhaps you will be ready to come up here, but—we will -see.” Of course it was tough, but the good saint's word had to go. “She is a heroine.” ‘“What makes you say so?" “The doctor told her she must w plain, homely, thick hose or she probab would have the pneumonia.” “I don’t see how that proves it.” “Probably not—but she has the pncu- monia now."” 3 [ - If you give your boy his learning in the ‘bad street-corner school, ‘Where we educate the hoodium and the ruffian and the fool, I opine you should not murmur, and % - ¥