The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, December 29, 1905, Page 8

THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL SONN B SIENGEEES....s ADDRESS ALL COMMUNICATIONS TO JOHN McNAUGHT.... PUBLICATION OFFICE............. THIRD AND MARKET STREBTS, SAN FRANCISCO __DECEMBER 20, 1003 FRIDAY. KANSAS AND STANDARD OIL. ARLY in the History of the Standard Oil Company the genius of Mr. Rockefeller saw the relation of transportation to the competition which he desired to destroy. Out of this came pipe line system, an original and excellent device for the ransportation of oil, wherever practicable. But it was not as uni- y practicable as was necessary to secure the entire control of market, at which Mr. Rockefeller aimed. Then he resorted to compulsion of the railroads to secure for himself secret rebates, hich made him the master and the tyrant of the situation. Compe- tition was destroyed, dead, and without a2 monument other than the ruin of enterprises. Mr. Rockefeller became dictator of the price crude oil to the producer, and of refined in all its forms to the ner. This is merely the restatement of an admitted fact. .In reply somewhat hysterical attacks upon Mr. Rockefeller, his attor- has admitted the rebates and defended them on the ground that en they were forced upon the railroads and enjoyed by his client e was no law against that form of discrimination. That is hn(h} d false. There was no stathite law against an evil and dis- versa the oil ! on that had not been noticed nor discussed. But the com- | of common carriers, enforceable by the courts in the ab- e, requires that they give equal service at equal | 1 1 alike. The attorney’s defense was made | n of the morality of Mr. Rockefeller’s business methods, | an inadequate defense. | w the vast oil business field to himself Mr. Rock- law able rate tc wever, did not lose sight of his early discovery that whoso controls c tion of a country controls also its production and cons His profits on the monopoly of oil were enormous, their systematic investment in the stocks of the estab- the country. He has not been like Gould, a systems or wrecker and rebuilder of old, but a steady s, until no one except himself and his asso roads concerned knows the extent nor location of his | ileagé he absolutely controls. There | his power over transportation. His made to molest his use of th::L‘ or what 1 places, revelations of te when are mpts about it. the Kansas oil field was accomplished by his | 1 pidity of some producers and rousing | a control that made rival re te attempted the foolish, socialistic | v, er public ownership. The ms of delight over that State i demonstration that public own- ire for Rockefellerism. But the | t roperly, and on constitutional grounds, law which created the State refinery. and Kansas | for f it. not in -public all people know cu he secured € un »cates of that ery all went into sy > the proof anc sole cure lidated drew found e control of its creatures, the al persons which are subject to law the same remedy and but in S on comrm sense a utilities ownership of pt E . rat COrpo! artific mns This remedy was achieved in a maximum rate law, which no railroad dare violate in Kan- ience of these statutes independent refineries rose 3 Mr. Rockefeller. deprived of preferences and special priy . found that there was one spot on the planet where he must « ss like other people, subject to the same limita- tions me law. | that the incident illustrates the sn- public ownership, and is a direct and n of the views of President Roosevelt. When Mr. mself reduced to business equality with his com- he did not have to experiment with means he is no empiric. lLong practice and genius have | made him an expert. He resorted at once to his control of trans- | portation outside of Kansas and beyond the arm of State law. The! r2 ceived by railroads at the State line was fixed to sa) ic control over periority of publ distinct vindic Rockefeller for AW, e on Kansas oil n impossible figure. His competitors could do business in | Kansas on equal terms with him, protected by the law, but he shut ther f outside market by his control of transportation oui- | side 1sas oil producers say that the law secures for them | in Kz deal. but when they cross the State line they are | commercially dead. That means that Mr. Rdckefeller, by control | of the railroads. has established “a dead 1 " and kills all oil busi- ness that tries to cross it. The rate on oil from Chanute to Kansas City. Kansas, 110 miles, is 7 1-2 cents, and from Kansas City, Kansas, Missouri, one mile, it is 17 cents. Mr. Rockefeller | not permit the invasion of his old province of Missouri by his| independent competitors of Kansas. In the old days the Kansas line was a dead line, alternately held the border ruffians and the free State men. Mr. Rockefeller is the new type of border ruffian and holds the dead line as securely with a freight schedule as his antetype held it with a Winchester. ['his situation joins the issue. It.is between the United States and Jjohn D. Rockefeller. The Interstate Commerce Commission is the | agent of the United States. Its powers must be enjarged so as to| give the independent oil interests in Kansas, and evesywhere, equal- | ity of right with Mr. Rockefeller. The Kansas dead line only inten sifies the isst Socialist propositions are cards in Mr. Rockefeller’s hand.® Public control of natural and artificial persons alike, as par- ties to the compact, i$ the solution, and a sguare deal for | all is the goal. We are persuaded that Mr. Rockefeller will have to come down and submit he law and be penalized for the same acts that | penalize others. Pduarkmg pariisan selection of officers to administer the school ! School management and partisanship do not mix 'weli. It makes every teacher, janitor and charwoman subservient to the | boss, whoever he is. They get emplovment by favor and hold it by sycophancy. unless they are exceptionally strong. We know | what partisanship has done in the debasing of municipal govern- | ment, and no one need feel secure that it excludes the schools from its thods. One remedy is to separate the election of school officers from the general or regular municipal election, and hold it on,a separate day. This abolishes trading votes and avoids the consequences of | straight ticket voting. which was the means of injuring the schools | of Oakland at the last election by the defeat -~ Dr. Myra Knox, one | of the most expert school officers in the State. ! But a different day for the school election does!not complete the measures needed for safeguarding the schools against parti- san control. The selection by nomination must be considered. In | other States this is accomplished by the appointment in the regular party conventions of joint school committees; which meet and nomi- nate the school ticket. These committeemen are a sort of selected electors, whose choice goes to the people for affirmation. Where this has been tried it has worked satisfactorily. The only complaint made is that the nominees of the joint committee are usually sc fit ‘and satisfactory that the people do not generally vote in large num- bers at the school election. This is not an insuperable objection to the system, since whenever an unfit person is nominated by the committee a rival candidate appears and the contest calls out the voters. A By such a system of selection and election the pcople have a chance to n¥anifest their interest in public education, which they are denied when the school ticket is merged in the partisan ticket, to be used in trades and usually suffers in its personnel from the methods by whiclr it is chosen to Kansas City, by cor soC to t POLITICS IN THE SCHOOLS. RESIDE) _ER has hit an evil square in the vitals in i ws. AR : : RAILROAD CONDUCTOR GETS Occidental Accidentals By A. J. Waterhouse. H The world and 1 together, The roses bud, the roses blow, The tiny birds wing to and fro, And ever in an elfin dance The sunbeams gleam, glance, And life is fair as I would know— Unless 1 fail to make it so— And golden is Its weather. Ay, sweet the song of life, I trow— Unless we fail to make it so. A $10,000 JOB The most elaborate of the season’s home events took place list evening at the handsome residence of Mrs. 9 : Eleanor Martin, who was hostcss at a UNLESS WE FAIL. large dinner dance in honor of her EIGHO! Heigho! As on we go, granddaughter, Miss Genevieve Harvey. This affair has been eagerly awaited by the smart set members, who readily recall the delights of last year's ball at the St. Francis given by Mrs. Mar- tin to Miss Anita Harvey. Over sixty guests were present at last evening's function, which was a sight not soon to be forgotten, with its wealth of flowers and rich gowns. The large square entrance hall was lined with genuine kngiish holly, the drawing-rooms being filled with Amer- ican Beauty roses bowing from great, artistic vases. In the dining-room were five tables, four small round ones sur- rounding a very large one, upon each of whicn was a profusion of the same graceful rose, with 'the accompanying glow of crimson-shaded candelabra. The conclusion of dinner saw the ar- rival of a score of men to participate in the dance that followed, the total| number of guests including Miss Gene- vieve Harvey, Miss Anita Harvey, Miss Margaret Barron, Miss Leonore Brewer, Miss Marie Brewer, Miss Helen Bailey, Miss Suzanne Blanding, Miss Violet Buckley, Miss Helen Chesebrough, Miss Lucy Gwin Coleman, Miss Linda Cad- wallader, Miss Constance de Young, Miss Newell Drown, Miss Dorothy the sunbeams In fairy dells where Music dwells I hear the brooks a-chatter, And timid creatures, rarely seen, Peep out at mc from nooks of green; I hear them whisper, “‘Comrades dear, Perhaps this one we need not fear,” While I reply, ““Ye people small, Ye need not fear my hand at all.” Then patter, patter, patter, Away they frisk in elfin glee— Ah, life is sweet, if we will see. | Heigho! Heigho! One thing I know, If ne'er I know another: | The soul is greater than its ill: | Though oft it fall, it standeth still. Though ghouls of night be now released, The dawn shall crimson-peint the east, And tuneful birds shall wake to say, # Bells, Miss Marion Huntington, Miss ot Comes! . The day—the day™" | Gertrude Jollifte, Miss Marjorie Jos- g s J0Y DESEDAR: selyn, Miss Maisee Langhorne, Mk Oh, sweet the lLife that all may know— Unless we fail to make it so. @ | Ruth McNutt, Miss Margaret Newhall, Miss Christime Pomeroy, Miss Barbara Parrott, Miss Emily Parrott, Miss Flor- ence Cole, Miss Alice Sullivan, Miss thel Sheorb, Miss Frances Stewart, Miss rtrude Hyde-Smith, _liss Bertha Gogdrich, Mrs. Peter D. Martin, Mrs. /Walter S. Martin, Mrs. Cutter, Gerald Rathbone, Raymond Armsby, | Armsby, Percy King, Thomas C. Ness, King Van Rensselaer, Willard W. { Drown, Edward Barron, Wilberforce | Williams, James D. Phelan, James W. | Byrne, Dr. Harry Tevis, Baldwin Wood, Arthur Chesebrough, Almer Newhall, Charles de Young. John Lawson, Clar- THEY WERE IMPORTANT. Once upon a time, Heloise, there was a | man who was very important, as every- body admitted; and he married a woman who was extremely important, as every- body conceded: and the wedding was an important function, as was freely men- tioned In the papers; and they lived in an important Fouse on an important ave- nue, as you would have known merely by iooking at the house: and the man accu- mulated much money, which, as every- * . K " | body knows, is the most important of all; | ence McKinstry, John A. Wilcox, Eyre | HENRY N. ROCKWELL, -L and it is'an important fact that he used | Pinckard. Edward M. Green Oscar 2 = the important money to benefit nobody in | 1™ Sy P"‘»‘l_‘j"‘(l‘ “3“1“'-8 fl:‘"d : 2 : obin, Courtney Ford. John Brockway OVERNOR HIGGINS of New by the Governor's secretary, ap- |Particular—not even himself: and the | Metcalf, Richard Tobin, Sidney Salis- Tork made a sudden transforma- | Proached him and handed him an elab- | couple lent importance to a certain im- |, Tailaon : Wiallen.” -Clarsiide tion in the position of Henry N. Rockwell, a railroad conductor, b pointing him a member of the’ State Board of Railroad Commissioners, a post paying $10,000 a year, says the | Chicago Tribune. Rockwell, who )msi been in railroad service forty years, at his usuall work on the Empire State Express when it pulled into Al- bany on December 3. As he swumg off to get his orders a delegation, headed i portant church by wearing their best | clothing and attending it every Sunday: | and after a while they secured a divorce which was so supremeiy important that the papers publisned columns and col- umps concerning it: and they— What's that, Heloi You want to asi a few questions? Well, fire ‘em in! That's 5 ot gl - i What Iam here for. What is there so fm- | Bradley Wallace, Willard Bartor: Lieu 7 | tenant Higgins, U. 8. A.; Covington portant about these things? you ask. = Blessec if I know, my dear girl; I never | Lringle. Horace Pratt and Baward A could tind out, but you may bet a nice, | D2V new pair of gloves that they are impor- | tant, and very important, else we would orately decorated document which made him Railroad Commissioner. He is 56 years old. As a boy he was an office boy in a railroad office, where he learned ‘telegrqgphy. He became suc- cessively operator, istant dispatcher, assistant conductor and conductor in the service of the New York Central. In an interview he said he does not be- lieve in Government ownership of rail- roads and that in his belief a railroad operative gives the best service after he has regched 40. vey, Peter D. Martin, Walter 8. Mar- tin. Cyril Tobin, Count de la Rocea, Philip Paschel, Dr. James Pressley, Leon Bocquerez, Roger Bocqueresz, Grantland Voorhies, Dr. Reiloff. Lieu- tenant Meorris E. Loecke, Perry Evans, The Sequoia Club is making a splen- did record for entertainments of clever- o ok PENSION—A. Cal. The United not pay pension: in the Confederate a “MOUNTAIN MISERY"—Reader, City. R., Chinese Camp, ates Government does to soldiers who served and navy. The plant commonly called “Mountain Misery" has a blossom. It resembles the | blossom of the strawberry: It is white vellow center. .M., There is mo law that requires that a lease shall be re- corded. KEither party to a lease may have the seme recorded as a matter of protection. The fact that a lease is not recorded does not invalidate it. HALF-DIME—D. Stockton. Cal. Had you carefully read this department vou would have discovered that it does not answer questions as to the value of coins, except by mail, when a self-ad- dressed end stamped envelope accompa- nies the question. RUSSIA AND JAPAN—J. B, City. According to a table of figurés pub- lished last September relative to the Russo-Japanese war, the total dead and wounded, including the battle of the Sen of Japan, was: Russia, 192,000, and Japan, 154,000. The flgures do not segregate the number of dead from the number of wounded. WIDOW'S PENSION—E. W., City. The widow of a United States soldier who has becn recelving a pension is en- titled to receive such pension as long as she remains unmarried, but it ceases on her remarriage. Should she marry | an ex-soldler receiving a pension and again become a widow she would re- ceive her second husband’s pension dur- ing her second widowhood. OCEAN DEPTH—Subscriber, City. Ac- cording to the publications of the latter part of 1805, the greatest depth of ocean ic in the Guam Trench—five thousand two hundred and sixty-nine fathoms, or 31.614 feet. Other depths are as follows: Mur-| ANSWERS TO VARIOUS QUERIES. | Getnitery as e that, wat net all so readily concede that they are Are these people still as important as they 1 cannot sa i greatiy fear | ness and success, many of the members xhibiting latent and unsuspected talent in the line of culinary art. " THE SMART SET - _BY SALLY SHARP. Gordon | Van | Follis, Joseph Tobin, J. Downey Har- | Yesterday Will Sparks, the artisc, gave a luncheon in the clubrooms. en- | tertaining seven of his pupils as guests, | the hest performing the duties and arts of chef. Wednesday evening saw a congenial gathering of Sequoians at the bidding of Mr. and Mrs. Adolphus Graupner, who gave a dinner in the club and like- wise executed the intricacies of its preparation with master hands. A jolly time followed, with toasts complimentary to the delicate viands, host and hostess. Those partaking and enjoying In- cluded Miss Helen Robson, Miss Vivian Gedge, Miss Lalla ‘Wenzelbur- ger, Miss Griswold, Mrs. Linda IL | Bryan, Mrs. Louis H. Long, Mrs. Risley, Mrs. Solly Walter, Dr. Sumner Hardy, Dr. Godfrey Brederick. Charles Sedg- i wick Aiken. Rothwell Hyde, E. Myron Wolf, R. Masson Smith, Charles H. Lombard, Robert Porter, Mr. and Mrs. ‘Graupner. i The Presidio Club was filled with gay dancers last evening, a very large attendance representing the various military posts about the bay, with several of the smart set from town, i also adding their presence. This .A\[- fair was the most successful of the | geason and the Presidio dances are al ways filled with pleasure of an in formal nature, though the more elab orate preparations of last evening ab- stracted nothing from the usual jol- uty. With the waning of Christmas tide and the oncoming new year, egEROSE parties continue to fill the Interven- | ing space with merriment and holiday | greeting. Several have taken plac | among the pleasant informal gather- ings being that yesterday at the home of Miss Laura Farnsworth. i Mrs. Charles Plummer Perkins was also an egENOgE hostess. _qh(k’ll‘fl' the Pensacola vesterday, lying off ¥erba Buena. A number of guests crossed over from town. Mrs. Henry Payot will receive to-day in her old home, Ellis street, where she will be at yme Fridays during the season. i 3 William G. Morrow is enter- at a luncheon to-day Im her Sausalito home. The affair. in honor of Miss Mabe! Bacon of santa Barbara. will call several guests from this city to greet the young visitor. Bridge will follow luncheon and Miss Bacon will | then make her adieu, for she leaves in a few days with her mother, Mrs. Ja- cob Bacon, for the south. Pt R A banquet was given to the State Superintendents of Schools last eve fng In the White and Gold roem of t St. Francis by the executive committe of the State Educational Association. * T The Entre Nous Cotillon Club will give a dance and banquet next Satur- day evening in the Palace Hotel that they are not. You see, on two im- | -SSR N jortant days y i ray_(Challénger expedition) states mebfm‘;‘em{ daxp ii‘n':f;’m':‘;dl bl s | : . | reatest depth of the Atlantic Ocean at ) oA B geed ) d F E - l | #1308 tect; Paciflc Ocean, WO fect; In- | MUC about them. They may be emfoy- | | nowin 00 rom EKEvi S e e feots outhern. Ocean, | DE_an Important and soft snap where | < Wy ettty o ey " they have gome, but, if so, they do not i THe Afidftlc .Ocean l:m: oy n;m jn | mention the fact. It is strange, is it not, | square miles, of 24,535,000; Pacific Ocean, | Fieloise. how our importance does get | 8Y WALLACE RICE. 50,309,000; Indian Ocean, 17,084,000; Arctic | "”"\"“ vlt th Af'rude and unimpurl:m dusx?h %‘- 3 ot 3 o e | “Vanity of vanities,” saith the preach- | 3 Oceftn, 4.751.000; Southern Ocean, 382,000, | VAN 01 Velitien " salth the preact | A e g MiCA—J. L V. Redding. Cal. The | (Or might say) the layman. How big in OMETIMES I wonder, when I lis- I am told that there is nothing valie of mica, sheet or scrap depends |OUr eves are the little things! And how ten to the conversations about re-| Wrong in giving mer members of or:[j Upon the demand. The product of the | IMPortant are the worthless! cent revelations of dishonorable umv;:uhfl:’ll>m"h*wl’;l:l§;:"‘:m‘:,‘e ‘fi'“u R United States In 1902 was valued ai| But there, Helolse, if you wish to hear | conduct in high places, whether the | TEril o0 o POl Tot i own, Of the rest of this sermon you should go and hear Rev. Prettyman next Sunday, and if you do, 1 do not doubt that you will hear from his inspired lips such a $55.84% for sheet and $13,081 for scrap, what is the tollowing r it was $17.128 for the former and $41,490 for the latter. These figures are the aggregate value for the average man really knows right and what Is wrong. You are told that there was noth- product of each of the . years given. |SPiritual message as will cause you to|ing wrong in Chauncey M. Depew’s Mica is used in Siberia, China, Peru |[¢fise wondering what Mrs. Bonton's new | taking a retainer from an insurance and other countries as n substituts | cloak cost for as much as six or eight | cympany as a lawyer. when It was Tt is seconds.- So long, dear girl! I really must for window glass. also used for merely given him to securé his politi- e :;‘)rtn'l'ihe . L cal influence in advancing or sup- ditional inforriation on ubject on | ; ¢ g : ; : | BUTTED IV, pressing legislation at Albany, as the the dine of & mnera A A co™ | Tbhe man who got there, I wish you ts| company wished. As a lawyer he was munis ll(vll‘ to the &.’\ll‘(()rnll\.- Mln.h\‘.,'n note: » - ¥ without power of the sort; if he pos- 8 Ferry Depot, San Francisco, | Butted fn. | sessed it as a Senator of the United | He dian’t stand still with his heart in his | States s paliticlal 15 shers iy i : to me that he was selling s nator- CITIZENSHIP—A. Alameda, Cal. An throat; - «Forwo i alien who desires fo become a citizen | He knew he must move if the bonds he | Ship or declaring himself a venal pol BE the would float; itician. Personally, it appears to me that a United States must make a | | man who will take his seat in the \tion of intention to become | SO he buttonholed one, and he collared | t any time after arrival, and af- anothier, 2 jo 3 ¥, A n Was really 4 pest that nobody could|United States Senmate and swear the et eGSR Lt : | solemn oath he is compelled to take smother. They named him a fool, and they called | him a bore, But he pocketed cash as he still evermore | Butted in. States he may apply for naturalization or “second papers,” as they are com- monly called. An alien cannot become a naturalized citizen until after he has declared intention to become such, as a Senator, knowing all the time that his first duty is not to the United States or the people thereof at all, but to a certain railway company and set course, it is his duty—at his own ex- pense. In officials holding positions of trust, whether under the Government or not, it is nothing less than wicked to provide for kinsfolk at the expense of the public. Nepotism has always beea thought wrong by high-minded men at all times and in all pl Nor is it a sufficient answer to say to those who urge that these things are wrong. “You would do the same thing in his place.” The high ideals persist in this world, no matter what sinful deeds are done. The ten commandments do not cease to be operative merely Dbecause are frequently brokem. All the thieves in the world cannot make stealing right. If the person who ob- jects to a low standard of henor and integrity succumbs to temptation andgp nimself sinks down toward death, th high standards nevertheless remain And of all the blunted notions what cohstitutes true probity and up- of | L i | of rallway interests, has shown so | rightness the conception that a sneer no matter how long he may have re- |y, 5ce was not singular; others there| blunt a sense of his own honor that|at protestatidns of righteousness |s $1040. In the coyqtry. & AL tH8 time & an ) are anything may be expected of him ex- | even permissible seems to me the alien applies to be naturallzed it must mtiog 15, cept good. most wicked. Devils can do no more uppear that he has res o HAIY | e 2 A in the United States for five years, that | "V 108€ “merve” is a thing to admire fromi| . VHEZ NN T3P afar, For if you get cleser it's likely to jar; Yet oftentiraes these are the fellows, note, ‘Whose deings we heed and whose sayings we quote, And often a tribute we're tendering still | To him who is merely displaying his skill he has resided in the State or Terri- tory for one year in' which is located the court in which he applies for final papers, and that two years before making such application he made declaration of intention to become a citizen. P:OPLE IN THE PUBLIC EYE. Rev. David Hillhouse Buel. the new president of Georgetown University, is one of the pronounced opponents of the present methods in football and says 1 LIGHTER SI HER METHOD. your wife call you down when you get home late?” “No. She’s got the parrot and the phonograph so that they’ll both say it as soon as 1 enter the room.” “Does BRIGHT BOY. Cholly—Well, " Johnny, mMust have learned a good deal at school. Can you name ten dnimals to'be found in Africa? you An elephant Johnny—Yes. and nine tigers. DE OF LIFE ) Butting in, one of the greatest drawbacks a col- lege has te combat with is that “the public too often judges of the strength of a college by its strength in the line of athletics.” “What a perfect complexion she has!" ““Well, it cught to be. She pays more for it than any other woman in her set.” i MOTTOES FOR ALL PROFESSIONS. The physician’s—Cut it out. The lawyer's—Anything that's fees-ible. | The clergyman’'s—Behold! the call-dron boileth. The journalist's—What's write’'s write. Ontarfo's new Postmaster General, A. B. Aylesworth, who is seeking elec- tion to Parliament in succession to Sir William Mulock, is described as closely The politician’s—Keep it dark. resembling Abraham Lincoln in ap- 'The merchant's—Buy. nnd'huy, pearange, being 6 feet 6 inches in The life insurance official's—Honesty 18|\ ;gn¢ spare, a life-long temperance the best policy; but any other old policy worker, a champion of provincial rights will do. and a strict Presbyterian. “Mabel is attending the university, You| poice Justice Pollard of St. Louis k'."f"{‘; has for several years followed a rule i | with cases of nkenness which has ““Well, her mother happened to tell | 450 g sole idea reformation instead of young Dr. Sageman that she was a little | weak in her athnology. You can't guess what he safd.” “No; what did he say?” “He said he feared that. an operation might be necessary.” CINDERELLA AND THE SLIPPER. “The Prince,”” said the fairy godmother, “is going to ail the maidens in his realm in order to find n:d marry the one whom r slipper will fit." y?“:t'l & cinch for me,” the beautiful Cin- derella murmured. “An@ you must let him try it on your foot when he comes to you,” the fairy godmother continued. 5 “Will 1 wear the hose you gave me when he does it?" Cinderella l;_hh)uuly inquired. i “Surel” was t punishment. When men are brought before'him for the first time he requires them to sign a total abstinence pledge for a year or more and stays the sen- tence as long as the pledge is kept. WOULD HAVE TO. “Georgeg—We'd die for onc an- Other, wouldn't we, dearest? ‘Hilda—Yes—er—er—I think We would have to on your sal- ary. John Hawkes, a Cincinnati lumber- man who arrived on the new turbine liner Carmania, has completed 114 voy- ages across the Atlantic, or 228 cross- ings. He has enjoyed the unusual op- portunity of cressing the Atlantic on the initial trips of five Cunard steamers —the Batavia, Bethnia, Servia, Lucania and Carmania. Hawkes is known among travelers as “the old man of the o o | Vice President Fairbanks has a sweet tooth, ice cream being his special weakness. He would not enjoy the fin- est kind of a repast unless assured that it would be topped off with his favorite dainty. Next to lce cream in his gas- ::‘I;:\snuc -flc}:tlnhl‘x c;)nu:h- sort of fruit made of cherries, c! gra oranges and bananas. mmm covered with old Madeira, then frozen and is served with whipped cream. Gevrge W. Vanderbilt has created Bilt- he soothing response. “Well, then, he may do it,” Cinderella blushingly remarked, “but—but—" “But what, my dear?” “I do wish that the:slipper was a boot.” A So her fairy godmother assured her that everything would pan out all right 'and things went beautifully, just as you have read about theém In the books. —— p You aré a sinner; so.am I— Of gullt may we be shriven; those who sin in other ways— hey should not be forgiven. COHEN'S LITILE JOKE Cohen, being an influential man in his own® certain “select” society, maturaliy could poll a great many votes for his favorite candidate. Assured, of corre- sponding individual benefit in exchans. for his influence. Cohen “boosts” fur the “bosses " man. The man wins and Cohen gets the desired position. | ‘Cohen struts around in a grand uni- form at the railroad station, and in 2 most condescending manner gives the people any information conterning train times, ete., which they may require. A lady steps up to Cohen and polite- ly asks him “When the last train leaves for Chicago.” Cohen looks at her and laughs. She thinks he misunderstands ar ask him again. Cohen simply howls with laughter this time. Lady becomes indignant, and after giving him a severe tongue lashing de- mands that he inform her “When the last train leaves for Chicago.” Cohen looks at her again and says ‘with his richest Yiddish accent: “Matama. I shoot only vish you—-you shoot liff so long unt you cud see it."— Magazine of Fun. LOAUED AFFECTION. “A practical joke," said Barney Old- field, the automobilist, to a St. Louis Dispateh man, “was played on me last season. | nad my revenge, though. “The practical joke took the form of a telegram from a friend of mine traveling in Italy. It came ‘collect.’ It cost me 3$7. and when I opened it all [ read was: “‘1 am well’ 1 seuled it up in a handsome mtnb::l!-lpnu. collect,” -n‘.,::.m:_\m $8 for the box and on opening it he found, along with the no-o.n-ou!nnmtl-fi"rll: “'On receipt of the that you were in good health the accompanying 1 ' rolled off my heart.’™ . If Christian e’er be counted this, g‘ S d= the mm"'mm' oy : e || b EEIENS L ., S S e et Bt Tt S ST ) ‘i-mw@ e i the e e B teach, macadam streets lighted with clectricity. an o ies. New store, 767 Mar Nx:'lorw.'uu- have been aw- gfie B aionem “:ed prien eqn‘mt = and e g '“om::am)flle- e y dark. 2 And if His name s dragged In mire, | training o bt e oy - #