The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, August 28, 1904, Page 11

by the Cxchange. ording to the so- beauty is a very Indeed, if we e innocent ebul- o dri the Socia and Central cle. in Vies to believe as common 0. In the wspaper edl- gs of those in- and female, s Onlookers, led * ever tt to h espe autiful One hs wnly speaking, ines of be “young > bullion the 1t to be where the odd years ‘I Spy” is writes of aisant and Juno-Athe smiles, pos Daily t such a he and Greeks en, who, , where av paramour:t which subtle beholders—the the perfect . thought in ev and air (which may plexion (which ¥ be designated Most the »<" of the upper ten to get, suf- f or credit supplied to them for dressing -vell—and not only we ut elaborate nd extra iress is often the ° tance, it r deprived lothes. Her and ' She = be content to stand sans paint, sans powder, sans bl coil, sans cor- sets, in a pla hite gown, falling from her neck and shoulders to her feet, and thus cheap vet decently clad submit herself to the gaze of her male flatterers in full daylight. How of the “ utiful” Mrs. Juno- 1y” Lady Spend- such a test un- ngly Y simplest drap- othe the Greek marbles when 3 hed at all, and jewels and fripperies on the goddess Diana would make her grace seem vulgar and her _perfection common. Beauty, real beaut needs no “‘creator of costume" Now it is absolutely impossible to “unadorned” sort of n those circles of rank and where the soclety paragraphist t his or her pleasure. On the th o much over-adorn- n vogue that it is sometimes difficult to find the actual true color and personality of certain ladies whose charms are daily eulogized by an lizing press. Lay s of pearl enamel out with rouge entirely conceal entity. It is doubtful was ever more face- ing up” of beauty nowA-never did beauty and beauty doctors drive g trade. The profits of enormous. Some be gained by the fact a certain shrewd and intelligent “doctor” in Paris eing which way the wind of meet with any beauty fashion blows, brews a harmless little mixture of rose water, eau de cologne, tincture of benzoin and cochineal, which mat < are quite the reverse of costl i g it by a pretty and lig the same at 25 shillings # making a fortune out stupidity, is this good nd who shall blame him? merely that the wise may One has only to read the e especially the adver- to grasp a faint ng done to spur Yet beauty re- and remote as ever, and when we see some of the ladies “exquisite loveliness” has been TIFUL ATIENE: NG WY SR 20T 1 this or the othe . we fall back - d side of the dismayed, with pest disappointment onder why we . the women of Great Bri to hold the palm of 1 en of the 1 > world, and if the word “beauty” be changed to pret- tiness the supposition no doubt cor- rect. It is somewhat unfortunate, how- ever, that either through the advice of kers their dressm their own erro- neous conc form they should appear to resent the soft outlines and gracious curves of nature, for either by the overexcess of their outdoor sports or the undue compression of corsets to they are gradually doing away with O & 3 EO000000 000000 s 00 S D LRSS Soo oGS o L LSS TS S0 S0 o0 00000 ® SOSSGE G505 HE only thing that you can al- ways be sure of finding a ready market for is trouble, and the worse it is the more easily you can find some one who is willing to borrow it. The market for real money may be as tight as a sea-going submarine; it may be that the only way to raise a loan of $5 on approved security is by a return to the good old way, the simple plan, of convinc- ing your would-be, or rather wouldn't- be, creditor with a sandbag or an im- pressive six-shooter, even the Standard Oil Company may take to the woods, or the free lunch, but trouble of all grades and degrees of blackness will be quoted as firm and easy. Another fact that should be noted in the cur- rent quotations of trouble is that the more 2 man has the more he wants to borrow. Most men are never able to get enocugh. That’s the way it was with a certain brother to the ox and own cousin to the original scapegoat whose opera- tions we will now pry into with an in- quisitive eye. People with weak eyes are recommended to abstain from this prying experiment, as it is a severe strain on enfeebled optics. This par- ticular relative of the bovine tribe spent most of his time on the quarter- deck scanning the horizon for dark clcuds of trouble. The days that he couldn’t raise at least one cyclonic dis- turbance in his mental atmosphere were not only rare but most disap- pointing to him. In his new and re- vised edition the sacred words of the voet were made to read: 7T HER ZLDEST ZAUGHTZR PIORLE LIAE S0 SIST7% their originally intended shapes and be- coming as flat-che as jockeys under training. No flat-chested woman is oretty. No woman with large hands, large feet and the coarse muscular throat and jaw developed by constant bicycle riding can be called fascinating. The bony znd resolute lady whose lines of figure run straight down without a curve anywhere from head to heel may possibly be a good athlete, but her looks are by no means to her advan- tage. Men's hearts are not enthralled or captured by a something appearing be neither man nor woman. And there are a great many of these some- things about just now. as to whether Amer for mannish sports ardently J notice that they have and feet and less pronounced “muscle.” At the same time American women on an average are not so pretty as British women on the same average. The American complexion unfortunate. Often radiant and delicate in earliest youth, it fades with maturity like 2 brilliant flower scorched by too het a sun, and once departed returns no more. The clear complexion of British women is their best feature. I am ignorant women go in uently and ters, but 1 daintier hands LRl The nat- — rose and white skin of h or Scottish girl—espec born and b derfully fre lovel and often accompanies her through her life to old age; that i ‘ourse, if she leaves it alone anc sat- isfied to merely ithout any “adornmen 1ty doc- tor. And, though ithholdin the divine f ¥ greater tion of the “beautie King Edward VI act that the, pre > world are the ly to conte Fables for the Foolish Count that day lost whose sun's not rcndered dim By lowering clouds of worry dark and grim. When he was supposed to be se- dulously conning the bright lexicon of youth he was constantly wrestling with the notion that the next page would reveal to view the fatal word which he was reliably informed was not in the book. Instead of throwing all con- siderations of care and prudence to the winds and sneaking over the fence to where his neighbor’s watermelons lay fair and smiling in the sun he would hang around on théoutside and won- der how it would feel to be bitten by the low-browed canine whose duty it was to patrol that beat. While he was wasting t.me in wondering, the canine aforesaid strolled up and dispelled ail doubts that he possessed on the nature and arrangement of dog teeth. Then the youngster would worry because hydrophobia didn’'t appear at once ac- cording to schedule. It was the same, only more so, as he rose in the scale of age. Most young men would look the landscape over more or less carefully, and when their eyes lit on some particularly likely specimen of the usually fair sex would g in and win; in case they didn’t pull off the affair in the manner they had anticipated, they would retire to take a fresh reef in their courage, preparatory to geing after another sample of the genus mentioned. Our grand chief of the - Order of Trouble Anticipators couldn’t do the thing in any such sim- ple manner. It didn't matter how prom- ising a young lady might be—and all young ladies can promise more in half an hour than they can perform all the rest of their lives—he would retire into the dark recesses of his mind and dig up a choice collection of doubts and fears made specially for just such an occasion. The young lady might be handsome and sprightly, but would she be willing to take in washing or do china painting by the day if it should ever become necessary? She might be intellectual and her mind might appear good for a five-round go with Ruskin or Herbert Spencer without extra train- ing, but would she be willing to get up in the middle of the night and climb to the top shelf of the closet for the paregoric , botile? She might have money, but what a sad blow it would be tc one who truly loved her if she should havpen to lose it—or refuse to part 'with it easily! These are merely samples of the way that this miser- able representative of the human race exercised his morbid imagination. While he was sitting up nights paint- ing black pictures of things that prob- ahly wouldn’t happen and couldn’t be helped if they did, a malevolent fe- male person stole up behind him and married him unawares, so to speak. At any rate she dragged him off the perch before he®had had time to fix up a real good worry. After marriage he discovered that the possibilities he had fearcd were beds of rose leaves compared with the things that that woman did to him. But it was too late to worry about it, and besides he had found something else to occupy the anticipatory idea factor; His father had been careful to provide his unworthy offspring with enousgh « department of his from age man in his place would have bee cortent to sit on the front veranda and watch the hired man shovel divi- derds into the coal cellar. ot only his next meal but all his meals for two or three thousand years to come guaranteed, and he was sure of a pl. to sleen in and enough cloth: to en- were able him to walk the streets with ¢ fort, buy if not elegance. He could e twenty tons of coal at ome f. and the monthly dawn of the s bill was not calculated to cause him any great mental perturba tion. Most men would have read the chapter about taking no thought for the morrow—or any other day—and lei it go at that, but not so with the manu- facturer of trouble. The part that ap- pealed to him as causing the greatest number of sninal creeps to the minute was that ‘which referred to the possible activities of moth and rust and more dangerous eradicators of worldiy wealth. Then he would dash around the cor- ner to the ticker and see what the latest changes had been in the United States Three. Somehow he had in idea that Go¥ernment bonds were not safe investments for gentlemen of moderate means and an immoderate indisposition to do hard labor. We might get tan- gled up in a war with Abyssinia and NG I I I s B DB Dot SOOI OGO NSRS TSRS OS00 NSNS OIS SRS PPUFPFPOIE 77IE J0-CAELEL BLZAYIITUL AOT" OBLY [ZAS J1ONE Y GOT IHEARS OF770MFY — = ONE in true chivalry that their own But one can only speak from per€onal experience, and [ am bound to say that [ have never seen nerican woman pretty British woman. sible admission -working seciety 1 to write of who, are neithe: at all. And British fe would infinitely than it Jittle ext > pretti ating ch of vivacity and int nce. When it is put in the 1 juently happens) by the of the Viennese savoir faire of ench mondaire, or the enticing charm of lustrous<eyed sirens from southern It , it is merely because of ts lack of wit. It is a good thing to have a pretty face; but > be only like a wax and expressioniess, ceases to at- The if we I And t picture would be nsympathetic fair sex which and women of impulsive n disadvan- r Fortunate stiffness, or the I tpor acts real get licked and as a result have the bottom knocked out of our eredit. What woula have appealed to most of us dead sure thing looked so full of poor worm that he could through it. Finally he sold securities and brought his home where he could sit in [ the safe with a shotgun day and night. Along about the second week of this performance the house took fire and the firemen dragged the mark out of the ravaging element with all the hair singed off his head and ng apparel missing. of this unattractive took him after a long. . corraling him in the poor- driving him out of all the in the State. t he ny times already in an- tieip that his eventual demise was really a matter of form gone through with more for the sake of the feelings of the undertaker and the offi- ciating clergyman than for any other reason. The last words that he was heard to utter were expressive of a fear that his halo would not be a last year's pattern. The reasons for relating this sad tale of human woe are many and various and most of them are urimportant. but it {s well to note at least the fact that while we are working ourselves into premature old age by crossing bridges before we come to them, we are likely to break our necks tumbling over a bank where there isn't any bridge at all. (Copyright, 1904, by Albert Britt.) ove rgal formalit showy chill o by any means—it is painful and in man surd self-consc en are always what their sis about them. ey en all right: but t 2nd unbecoming feminine influ the the the eritic owkward girl wk chair with he and her har her lap is awky has, must be s 5 . fondon wor fashion j noon tea, wi vidence, ar per “visitix in this way s t s out of the e « < -con sciousne which the indifference, ease and careless g which should—to quote the gr st American philosophers I cause her epel interfer S decided ences,” i be with sor > She is p she is no doubt ex and unc that she wou try to be nothing. are her bogie man, her on eit too often with such d wab sciousness that her e ymes far- tive, her mouth hard secre conversation inane and I convention apart for the no bidding them end t ows of hypocr ) s atmosphere, the British mains the prettiest i galaxy of f charms ¢ > and. 1. Wales and See 1 1ll together su <3 examples of won 1t an the portion and Mror average palm of b because they » alway be three of them vear upon the porfection of who might truly descended godde formed, so they. They ciety paragraphist, and they p will not get the chance the cue or the Am an “F they are the daugt still, and hold fast mother’s attrik a hundred or American Greek—but wi Greek ec the v world of beauty at shows the heritage of he regal step and freedom of moy in the lovely curves of her fig the elassic pe tien of her fac its broad brows, lustrous eyes, arched sweet lips and delicate contour of chin ard throat, and in the queen!y ir toward her own loveliness. Fill high the bowl with & On Suli’s henk and the ¢ for one found, the beaut m all. 'S men And there still be 1 the perfaction of womanhoc one rare Greek lily, w 8 few and far inter quisite form and coloring what woman should be at her fairest. To her there- fore must be given the palm of beanty —but after the lily. then the rose!—or rather the roses, multitudinous, varied, and always sweet—the women of Brit- ain. *Byron.