The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, August 30, 1903, Page 9

Ao htest doubt of & Ever osition costs but a few ered woods cost many pen- thing else that rep: alue he darkest any benighted est moments infiict Three or four dainty & dozen family por- that are handed to another as on’t know what. iness is an awful n't with decency d years old s are necessary and con- est thing to forget ng home, and to be cour- uld be answered im- ock is not essential, it is the ho takes particular care to i every spare room is the 11 time plece, ostensi- ion, but really in order r no good reason for all not being on time for meals. Of course, it is imperativh that toflet erticles should be on the dressing table, but it is & pre of thoughtfulness to sce that the tollet water jug with its sweetness is at hand and to remember that the powder box does mot look well empty, Soep and an sbundance of towels need scarcely be mentioned, but all these €o & long way toward the making of & cozy room Graciousness and cordiality are the first end comfort the second part of the secret of hospit y. After the wear and tear of the journey are removed it is high time to think of s, but never plan so many out- t it gives no one an opportunity PO . ) to rest. That is & mistaken kinSaess enl one that happens too frequently in meny homes. From early morning night every avallable moment s planned running hither and thither as fast as the frocks can be sultably changed, and th result is invariably the same—crose, tired out girls who really don't! know what they do want = A visitor has & few privileges as well as many pleasures and it is not kind to drag her from one place to another when she would give the world and all to snatch forty winks. Your friends are not neces- sarily hers, and she can take no earthly pleasure in calling upon an _entire stranger, and she might amuse -herself nicely by reading the latest novel—if she had time. Give her a chance to entertain herself once In & while and see what the outcome will be. If she isn’t able to find 8 few resources within herself she should have belonged to a century or more ago, and she really len't worth getting a crop of gray halrs over, that is, more than once. Dinners are aiways a delightful way to gather your friends about you, and they love you devotedly if your entree is some- thing new and your wines old enough. But the restaurant dinner is commencing to show itself as a formidable rival, and when you stop to consider that It does not cost any more, that there is absolutely no fuss and feather about it, and that all you do is to smile and Et pretty—that evening, but not the nextPay. When you settle the bill it is ly to be won- dered at. There is no cook flying into a rage and demanding your newest silk pet- ticoat before she will proceed with her work or no maid asking In & stage whis- { your establishment. These mortifications seem reminiscentially funny, but at the they are horribly galling, and many & hostess trying to make a good impres- sion on & new friend has fervently wished . that the floor would open and swallow " her. " Anything to get out of sight and to shut out the amusement that is bound to ripple about the table no matter how well- Nbred your guest may be. There s some- thing frrepréssibly funny about all em- barrassments,tand the wisest way out of it 1s to‘laugh at your own expense. In- variably it starts a good fellowship that will make the evening one to be remem- bered. “A laugh” said a wise old man, “is worth more than gold. One will buy companionship, but the other friendship.” And it is true. A merry laugh has spanned many a breach that gold never could hove to. It is always good policy for a hostess to gt tea, a dance or some affair that she can invite a great many of her friends to. In this way she not only cancels ob% ligations of her own, but makes 1t known that she has a friend visiting her. To be sure, the people cdme and go in such per- fect streams that the poor girl couldn’t remember & tenth of them to save her life, and, indeed, she is not expected to, but there i8 no excuse for others not tuck- ing her away In their memory and bring. ing her forth when there is a good time on the tapis. The true hostess is not always thinking of herself and If she is invited to make the fourth of a coaching party thinks i . Posed by the Misses Belasco, New York. | o o $ Photo by Stanford Studio. that it is an unexpected epportunity for Maud or Mary, as the case may be, and she relinquishes her seat, trusting to luck that the young people may fancy her suf- ficlently well to make her one of their number again, for it is every whit as much the business of a clever woman to #ee that her friends do for her guest as it 18 her duty to do for her herself, and the brighter the woman the less falls upon her shoulders, and no one but her- self is ever any the wiser. ¢ The match-making ho: is a subtle plece of humanity and she appreciates the value of being present to welcoms a friend with her suave, gentle manner and then effacing herself on the plea of let- ter writing or something equally import- ant.. She vanishes at the proper momient and she ‘bobs up like an imp of Satan ‘when ‘things are getting interesting, for she ‘knows the importance of holding a man- until the silken meshes are bound tighter'.and. tighter around him and -un- certainty tries his soul until he wilk say ““Will you be mine?"” just to gst.even with that woman who is always und; when you don’t want her.”; Poor deluded young Joan. ,He, didn't realize that he was_ be- ing gently led by the nose.. In,fast; like the ‘majority of men, he t;.nch{"_hg was dothg something ' wondertully " cjever in walking away with the prize rln;t under the nose of her guardian, © T The prettyish girl finds but little dif- Slculty in making her new friends humor her whims and indulge her little fancies and It is the tactful woman wh® never lets on that she even as much as sees them. All girls like their little flirtations and they would be paragons of all ths virtues if they didn't, and while it is the hosteas’ care. to see tbat her guest does mot overstep the limit of conventionality, even if she would, she need not be a reg- jou Jse0ed ular antl-everything. In faot, it iy quite as well for her to be blind, as well as deaf and dumb, ence in a while, for clear- ly it is the prerogative of every visitor to make the most of her time. Of course, no- matter how trying a las- sle may be, no matter how she may sin against you, and then magnanimously forgive you the sins, it would never do ta be other than cool, icily so If you choose, but always mistress of yourself and of your home. Now and then, If you are not blessed with a cushiony temper, it may be an awful temptation to tell a blowsy, brown-eyed imp just what you think.of her, but politeness demands si- lence and it always pays better In the long run, anyhow. It goes without saying that all expenses during the visit are borne by the hostess, that is to say, laundry, carfare, theaters, restaurants and the things too numerous to ‘even think about that bob up serenely and manage to run into several dellars without half trying. The guest cancels all- debts—all with smiles and spprecia- tion, and while enthusiasm may seem old- fashioned and the distinct ear mark of a country-bred girl, it certainly pays to be vivacious and animated, for no one cares to exert themselves in entertaining a girl who accepts all favgrs as a matter of fact, who never wi an eyelash and who seems utterly and hopelessly blase. That may be fashionable, It may be con- sidered good breeding and the distinctive characteristic ~of a lady, but it utterly fails to be satisfying and the girl who weighs her breeding with her common sense will try to be natural. If things please her tremendously she is apt to ‘show it in her face, In her manner and in every movement. No one, even from a sense of duty, cares to waste thelr time and money on the desert air and shilly- shally people are a thousand times more wearing than first-class hot-air artists. The hostess, at least, has the satisfaction of knowing that all taken and that is more than can be sald of the hopelessly bored, you-can’t-interest-me sort of folks. The secret of being a successful hostess belongs to the one who studies and ap- propriates. It Is scarcely an outward polish nor yet a something from within, but a combination of the two that wins and holds, a something that draws friends and that sends a sparkiing beam of elegance and good cheer to the emds of the earth.