The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 2, 1902, Page 6

THE $AN FRANCISCO CAL THURSDAY, JANUARY 2, 1902. THL‘RSD.’;Y JOHN D. SPRECKELS, Proprietor. Aciress All Commrniestions to W. 5. LEAEZ. Meraypr. MANAGER'S OFFICE. ++s.Teleplhione Press 204 PUBLICATION OFFICE. .. Market a EDITORIAL ROOMS. . Telephor Delivered by Carriers, 15 Cents Per Week. Single Co > Terms by Mail. Incluling Postage: DAILY CALL (ncluding Sund; -36.00 DAILY CALL (including Su.day), € 1 nth: . 200 DAILY CALL (including Sunday), 3 month . 150 DAILY CALL—By Single Mont . 65 FUNDAY CALL, One Year . 1.50 WEEKLY CALL. One Y . 100 All postmasters nre nnthorized to recelve subseriptions. Eample coples Wwill he carded when reéquested. Mafl eubscribers In orderfig change of address should be particular to give both NEW AND OLD ADDRESS in order to insure & prompt and correct compliance with their request. OAKLAND OFFICE.. +..1118 Broadway ©. GEORGE KROGNESS. Maneger Foreign Advertising, Margretts Bumiding, Chieago. (Long Distance Telenbone *‘Central 2615.") NEW YORK CORRESPONDENT: C.C.CARLTON. ..cocvvnnnns Herald Square NEW YORK REPRESENTATIVE: STEPHEN B. SMITH. .20 Tribune Bullding NEW YORK ‘WS STANDS: ‘Waldorf-Astoria Hotel; Brentano, 31 Unfon Square: Murray Hill Hotel. CHICAGO NEWS STANDS: ®herman House; P. O. News Cc.; Great Northern Hotel: Fremont House; Auditorium Hotel. WASHINGTON (D. C.) OFFICE! 1406 G St., N. W, MORTON E. CRANE, Correspondent. BRANCH OFFICES—S527 Montgomery, corner of Clay, open unti! 9:3 o'clock. 300 Hayes, open until 3:30 o'clock. 623 cAllister, open until $:30 o'clock. 615 Larkin, open until #:30 o'clock. 191 Miesion, open until 10 o'clock. 2261 Market, corner Sixteenth, cpen until § o'clock. 109 Valencia, open until § o'clock. 106 Eleventh, open until § o'clock. NW. corner Twenty-second and Kentucky, open until § o'clock. 2300 Fillmore. open until § . m. AMUSEMENTS. A —+Black Patti Troubadors.” ttle Red Riding Hood.’ ‘he Two Sisters.’” ariey’s Aunt.” anice Meredith.” Orpheum—Vaudeville. g Grand Opera-house—"A Lady of Quality. Chutes, Zoo and Theater—Vaudeville eve evening. Fischer's—Vaudeville. Central Park—Vasco Ball Game. Sherman-Clay Hall—Piano Recital Saturday afternoon. Oakland Racetrack—Races to-day. Californ! Tiveli— Certral— afternoon and POSTAL TELEGRAPH REPORTS. VER since the announcement was made of the E appointment of Henry C. Payne to the posi- | tion of Postmaster General there has been 2 keen effort on the part of the Eastern public to dis- | “significance” of it. A good many people | seem unwilling to beiieve that the President aimed | no more than geiting a competent man to take | charge of the postal affairs of the country and work mony with the zdministration. They are con- i that there was an ulterior motive for the ap- ent and. many are the theories advanced to cover the as assertad with much emphasis that the #ppointment meant the beginning of an active cam- on the part of the President to procure a re- That theory grew out of the fact that Pzyne is an active and experienced campaigner | romination Mr. znd political manager as well as a good business n As it is well known, however, that the renom- | ination of the President is as well assured as any | hkuman event can be, the theory did not find much | favor. Other theorics that followed -<mmediately after the appointment were not much better. Now, however, comes one that has the merit of advancing ble scheme for the establishment of a postal aph system, and, accordingly, whether true or | t is interesting. | Several bills have been already introduced into Congress providing for the purchase by the Govern- ment of the telegraph systems of the country and their operation in connection with the postal service. Had only one biil to that effect been presented, per- | haps little attention would have been paid to it, but | the introduction of 1 number of such measures has sroused svspicion that there is something big be- hindyit, and accordingly, the theorists who have been ; searching for 2n explanation of the appointment of Mr. Payne have jumped to the conclusion that he is backing the proposition / The plan of combining the telegraph system with the postal system is not new. It has been under dis- cussion a long time, has begn supported by a con- siderable class of people and was recommended by | Mr. Wanamaker when holding the office of Post- | master General. This time, howevcr, it comes in a new form. It is asserted that the owners of the tele- graph systems of the country wish to sell out to the Government and a recent advance in Western Union ‘, in Wall street was attributed by a New York paper | to a report from Washington of a plan for the pur- | chase of Western Union and Postal Telegraph stock } by the issue of 2 per cent Government bonds. It was added: “A plan of this kind has been under consideration for somc months. Prominent people | are interested and while no predictions are made as to the outcome the subject is certain to come before Congress.” Upon that showing the Springfield Republican connects Postmaster General Payne with the scheme by saying: “Mr. Payne is commonly regarded as a corporation man through and through and yet it is understood at Washington, says a report from thadt city, that he favors Government ownetship of tele- graphs, that the admiristration’s purpose is to carry out the project, that Payne has an ambition to do so, and that all the Democratic members of Congress 2nd many Republican members will favor it.” Such a report is “important if true.” Telegraph companies no longer have a monopoly. The long- distance telephone is already competing with them and wireless telegraphy is impending. It is quite probable, therefore, that a plan is under way to en- able the astute managers of the telegraphs to sell out. The reports concerning it are as yet nothing more than rumors, but the bills now before Congress for the purchase of the telegraphs will bear watching. The scientist who has discovered the germ of death in a sea urchin and devised a means of destroying it | OUR WATER SUPPLY. W \many citizens opposed it. { was no immediate need of a park, that the city would never require so large a park as that proposed, and that if we were ever to have a park at all it would be Had. that counsel been followed San Francisco instead of now enjoying one of the finest parks in the world There would What would it ®ost San Francisco tc-day to purchase the ground better to wait until the need became urgent. would be debating how to get one. also be a debate how to pay for it. now cccupied by Golden Gate Park? The story of the park is pertinent to the water There are people who object to concern- ing theinselves with the issue of a better and more abundant water supply, because, as they say, the need {is not u}gent, that the present supply will be suffi- { cient for a long time in the future, that it would be better to wait until the need becomes urgent beforeive In short, they say about the water problem just what similar-minded citizens said about the original pérk proposition, and it is therefore important to remind the public that every year of waiting will in- crease the eventual cost of the supply that will be ultimately needed. ~ It is the park problem over A water supply from the mountains could be provided now for much less than it will be possi- question. act. again. ble to obtain it ten >r twenty years from now. That ths present sources of supply are hardly ade- quate for present nezds is proven by the fact that the water company made use of Point Lobos Creek as a source of supply until forced to desist by the city The unfitness of that water for human use has been set forth in a pamphlet by Major W. 0. Owens, M. D., on “Prevent-ble Diseases in the Army of the United States—C.use, Effect and Rem- In describing conditions of water supply at authorities. edy. various camps Major Owens says: “Take the report of Lieutenant Colonel A.-S. Kim- ball, Quartermaster’s Department, on the water sup- (See Report Sur- geon General of the United States Army to the Sec- retary of War, 1806, pp. 137-38.) His report shows a water of undoubted high quality. He has based his report on the analysis made by Thomas Price & It is evident that these chemists were not in- formed as to the cheracter of the watershed from which this water is obtained. Mountain Lake, from borings around which this water is obtained, "has a watershed of two and one-half to three square miles; {it is composed of seashore sand resting on a bed of In this watershed are three of the largest cemeteries of the city of San Francisco. A very large part of this watershed is a closely built city with sewered streets, which sewers have uncemented There are many animals stabled in it; all of the fecal matter of these animals and of this ! population is stored in this watershed; all of the | products of the decomposition of the bodies buried in these three graveyards drain into it; all of the ex- | crement and kitchen waste of old Cam~ Merritt were (There were some 18,000 men camped in this camp.) So long as the sand retains its ability to filter properly the water will be safe. When it be- comes saturated with filth the health of the soldier The water level of this feet since the pumps have been at work. The officers of the Ma- rine Hospital Service tell me they are afraid to use this lake water without first subjecting it to sixty I made a careful chemical anal- ysis of this water in 1899 and a careful personal in- spection of this watershed; it was self-evident there ply of the Presidio, California. Son. rock. brick bottoms. buried in it. at the Presidio will suffer. lake has béen lowered some twenty pounds of steam. must be contamination from animal sources.” Continuing his rev went on to say: so ‘well as formerly. matter present.” Then he adds: “Point shed. was too polluted.” Those statements made by Major Owen in a paper read before the Cincintati Medical Academy and re- printed irom the Journal of the American Medical Association of October 26, 1901, show what sort of water has been used in the public water supply of Can any further argument be required to prove the need of undertaking the first steps toward the city. getting a better supply? In pressing the claims of the suitors before.the Spanish Claims Commission it is said there are em- ployed 127 attorneys, while the side of the Govern- ment is supported by one attorney with a salary of $5000 a year and three assistants at $200 a month, so there is a belief in Washington that Uncle Sam will get the worst of it. RAILROADS AND BUSINESS. perity for American railways. and profits were higi. coming season. “The summary includes returns of railway compa- nies operating 192,193 miles of line, or nearly all that will be included in the report of the commission According to the figures given the passenger earnings of these rail- ‘ways were $426,000,21¢ and the freight earnings $1,- 114,740,770. The total gross earnings were $1,578,- 164,205, or $8211 per mile of line. The gross earn- ings as shown in the final report for 1900 were $1,~' As the operating expenses amounted to 1$1,023,156,281, or $5323 per mile of line, the net earn- ings of the roads contained in this advance statement were $555.007,924, or $35,577,218 in ‘excess of their when the final statements are made. 487,044 811 eapnings during the fiscal year 1900. Good as the showing is it would be much better in the present year had the roads been equipped to do the business offered them. There have been com- so that the urchin can live forever has given to the We have be'en a little bit too p:cmu«% plaints all gver the country of an inadequate service. world a theory which is at once promising and tan- | The orange growers of California complain of the talizing. Should the thing prove true there may be {length of time required to transport fruit across the a generation of men who will five frec from the bane | continent, while Eastern people complain of a lack of the death germ, but it will not be our generation. |of transportation facilities for even short distances. It appears that Pittsburg itself, notwithstanding its HEN it was first proposed that ground should be purchased for the purpose of establishing a large park in San Francisco They argued that there w of the subject Major Owens “I believe the analysis of Price & Son was correct when made: that the differences which' exist between us are due to changes which have taken place from the increased number of bod- ies in the watershed, from the increase of population within the watershed; that with these two causes the sand is more soiled 2nd therefore no longer filters It is a well-known fact that when sand is well zerated and not overloaded it | will filter out from 98 to 99.5 per cent of all germinal Lobos Creek is the natural drainage channel of this water- 1 was informed in the office of the Spring Valley Water Company that it had been formerly in use as a water supply for the city of San Francisco, but that it had been sbandoned for such use as it ROM a summary recently given out of the preliminary report of the statistician of the In- terstate Commerce Commission it appears that the last fiscal year was one of extraordinary pros- Business was brisk The solvent companies are, therefore, in good condition to improve their roads and increase their equipment for the work of the comparative nearness to the seaboard and the close relations between its capitalists and the railroad managers, has been vnable to get transportation for its output. It is stated that the output of heavy freight from the Pittsburg region has increased from 40,000,000 tons annually to 66,000,000 tons in 1900, with an estimated total of 73,250,000 tons in 190I. The roads have not been able to handle the enor- mous increase and' there arelcomplaints of scarcity of cars, deficiency of motive power and lack of ade- quate terminal facilities. The injury dome by a lack of transportation is, of course, more acutely felt in some localities than in and the railway managers have been too slow to keep up with it. At present they are doing the best they can. A single company is reported to have al- ready ordered 20,000 additional freight cars, with a corresponding number of locomotives, and that is but an iliustration of what other roads are doing. In fact we have rcgched a new era of railway develop- ment and this time it will not be a speculative boom, but a growth required to meet the demands of indus- try and trade. e ———— While thé American people have been congratula- ting themselves on the munificent offer of Carnegie to found an institution for post-graduate study at Washington Dr. von Stradonitz of the University of Berlin sounds a note of warning. He says that while too much learning may not be dangerous it is certainly unprofitable and cites the fact that “Ger- many is burdened with an unproductive class who +look with scorn on those whose education has been merely in the art of bread-winning.” The warning is worth noting, but all the same it need not alarm anybody. It will be a long time yet before the United States is overburdened with men who care more for scholarship thaxl for money. D ment carried out an extensive series of ex- periments for the purpose of discovering the best means of signaling through fogs. It appears the trials were made wholly with signals by sound, as no other means yet known is anything like so ef- fective for the purpose as sound waves produced by proper apparatus. The conclusions’ do not assure any adequate means of signaling through thick fogs, but the experiments brought to light a good many curious phenomena which will be found interesting not only by seamen but by the general public as well. FOG SIGNAL TESTS. URING the past summer the British Govern- determine the relative efficiency and carrying power of tones of a“high or a low pitch, and to ascertain the air pressure at which the siren yields the best re- sults. It is stated that under favorable conditions a new form of disk siren giving a very low tone, ninety- eight vibrations to the second, outdistanced every other ihstrument tested. The sound carried as a “good sound” for a distance of something more than twenty miles and could be heard farther by persons giving close attention. Instruments having a sound of higher pitch were heard at a less distance, some of them not more than ten miles. It was noted, however, that when the weather was rough and stormy the high tones carried farther than the low tones, and the report of the committee says* “For calm weather a low pitched note is more suitable than a high pitched one, but when the wind is opposed to and noisy, a high pitched note penetrates farther than a low pitched one.” Among':he curicus phenomena experienced during the tests was the existence of a soundless zone be- tween areas where sounds were clearly heard. Up to the distance of a mile scunds would be clearly dis- tinguished, then they would sink to extreme faint- ness and become almost inaudible, but at a farther distance would increase in force, and at about three miles the sounds would be recovered and freni that point wouid be carried in_full hearing for a consider- able distance farther. \ The phenomenon was noted only in calm weather with a still sea. The scientist to whom the subject was referred attributed the occurrence to the sound waves striking the smooth surface of the near water, and, being reflected upward, the reflected waves in- emanating from the sound producer. The commit- tee points out that this liability of interruption of sound at short distances should be carefully impressed upon seamen, $o that their failure to hear fog signals may not lead them to believe they are far from points of danger. Another remarkable phenomenon noted during the trials was the length and strength of the echoes from seaward, breaking in upon the sounds from the sta- tion and sometimes lasting much longer than the original sounds. The echoes were mostly noted from land stations and at a comparatively little distance from the instruments, but they were also heard at times from the vessel engaged in the experiments. They were heard only when the sea was calm and the air tranquil, and were attributed to “the reflec- tion of sound waves from invisible acoustic clouds,” formed by air currents differently heated or differ- ently saturated with vapor. The echoes of course may possibly at times be mistaken for the signals themselves and are thcrefore another source of dan- ger in any system of signaling by sound. Such are some of the obstacles in the way of an effective system of fog signals by means of sound. ‘While it did not make any experiments with other methods of signaling, the committee refers to the possibility of employing electric signaling, and de- clares that if such a method could be made practical it would zfford a great advantage by reason of its freedom from variability and its independence of at- mospheric conditions. In conclusion, the report says that sound signals in fogs must be regarded as only auxiliaries to navigation which cannot be at all times relied on. e — Of all the features of the exposition at Charleston. no other has thus far attracted so much attention as the exhibit of the industries of the negroes, and Charlestox is getting 2 [,(;,\.d deal of credit for having given the colored peqggia# chance t6 make such a good show for themselves. { According to the estimates of the Comptroller Greater New York owns real estate to the value of upward of $500,000,000. Most of it, of course, is in the form of parks, and fortunately the city is rich enough to keep it that way without becoming lapd poor. g At the present time Towa has two members of the Cabinet, one of the dominant members of the Senate and the Speaker of the House, and now if she only had a candidate for the Presidency she would be happy. GERE : Sl others, but hardly any portion of the country has escaped it. The industry of the people has expanded One of the main objects of the'experiments was to i bage =l T GERMAN TROLLEY CARS RUN MORE THAN ONE HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR ELECTRIC LOCOMOTIVE USED TO DRAW TROLLEY CARS BETWEEN BERLIN AND ZOSSEN THAT HAS AT- TAINED A SPEED EXCEEDING 100 MILES AN HQUR. WILL REVOLUTIONIZE EXISTING METHODS OF RAPID TRANSPORTATION. MECHANICAL EXPERTS SAY THIS LOCOMOTIVE HE officials connected with the underground rapid transit road In New York, who recently returned from Europe after an inspection of the underground roads of the Old World, reported that Germany was one of the mest progressive couhtries visited, and that conditions i + the base, with two boxlike arrangements for the machinery extending back and front of the glass-inclosed cab, projects upward about four feet. which Across the top of this cab extend the three sliding contacts, fastened on an iron girder, the course of the sound waves, or the sea is rough } terfering for % certain distance with the direct waves ; motion. hour. PERSONAL MENTION. J. C. Moyk of Colusa is at the Grand. Senator B. F. Sanford of Stockton is at | the Lick. the Palace. is 2t the Lick. W. P. Thomas, an attorney of Ukiah, is at the Grand. E. C. Bradley, a capitalist of New York, { is at the Palace. | Joseph D. Biddle, an oil man of Han= | ford, is at the Grand. Hugh 1. Wilson, a hotel man of Butte, Mont., is at the Palace. J. C. Kemp Van Ee, a well known min- ing man, Is at the Palace. Bank Commissioner John Markley of Geyserville is at the Lick. Louis T. Wright, a mine superintendent of+Keswick, is at the Palace. W. H. Buster, an extensive fruit grower of Colusa, is at the Occidental. SEAMANS’ OBITUARY. W. H. Seamans, late adjutant general of the State of California, was born in the town of Harford, Susquehanna Coun- ty, Pennsylvania, September 14, 1834. He was living in Massachusetts at the outbreak of the Civil War and in Octo- Dber, 1861, enlisted in the Thirtleth Regi- ment of Volunteers from that State. In December following he was made first seutenant, his regiment being at the time attached tc General N. P. Bank’s com- mand in the Department of the Gulf. In the spring of 1862 he was ordered to Ship Island, on the Louisiana coast, just above the mouth of the Mississippi, and in Au- gust following resigned on account of ill- health from fevers contracted in the low lands of that section. Tn November following he was made captain of Company G, Forty-first Mas- sachusetts Voluntgers, and in December next after was attached to the staff of General Grover, commanding a division of {he Nineteenth Army Corps. During a part ! this period Captain Seamans was provost marshal of Baton Rouge, and aiso participated in the battles of Port Hudson and Bayou La Fourche. He again Tesigned July 23, 1863, on account of phy: cal disability. Some time after the close of the war Captain Seamans came to €alifornia and settled in Los Angeles, where he engaged in various pursuits. He later became better known to the people of California through the medium of the Los Angeles Tribune, on the staff of which he served for wome time. He had held several local offices previous to President Harrison's election and was by ‘him appointed Registrar of the Land Of- fice in Los Angeles. After the expiration of his term he accepted an appointment under Governor Bud&s administration as clerk in the Lunacy Comnmission. He was a member of the Grand Army of the Re- public and the Loyal Legion, being com- mander in chief of the latter organiza- tion at the time of Gage's candidacy for the governorship, and in recognition of his services in that gentleman's behalf was by him appointed to the office of ad- | jutant general June, 1899, which office he | held until his death. —_————— © The new Governor:of Alabama is a newspaper man. This is pleasing news, but at the same time we can't help re- membering that the late Mayor of At- Janta was something of a newspaper man, too. - Well, anyway, here's wishing him luck with his latest assignment.—Cleve- land Plain Dealer. ¥ ————-,——.,-0——'— “Is it not beautiful to see the' moon shine ee the water?’ inquired the romantic’ young woman. R R . “Well, miss,” answered Colonel Still- well, “moonshine is very acceptable in an clally care ‘about the water.'—Wa ton Star. 5 more nearly akin to Yankee skill and inventiveness in matters electrical obtained in Berlin than anywhere else. By Slemens & Halske, the well known electricians, has re- cently been constructed an electric locomotive which mechan- ical experts say will revolutionize the existing methods of loco- The Germans under the order of Emperor William ecently made several trial trips with this invention, and these fests proved in every way satisfactory. The War Minister has placed at the disposal of the experimenting company the military line between Berlin and Zossen, and the cars have on occasion sped over this route, at the rate of 125 miles an These “flyers” take the electrical current from three wires. The electrical engine is a queer-looking affair, being heavy at | | | Jchn Goettmann of Pittsburg, Pa., 18 nt ! that Is, a heart solo. { D. B. Fairbanks, a banker of Petaluma, | Oat Hill, Cal. In the mingling of two 1 | | emergency, But I don't know as I espe-|a medal of honor ashing- motives carry their open country. ings or pedestrians. ANSWERS TO QUERIES. ; SOLO—A. O. S, City. In the game of solo though the first man may “frog” he is still permitted to play the best solo— A DATE IN NOVEMBER-S. D. G. dates an erroneous answer was given re- cently as to a date in November, 1882. The. second Friday in that month fell on the 10th of the month. BOERS IN SOUTH AFRICA-J. V., City. The Dutch or Boers settled in South Africa in 15%, but did not remain there long. The first Dutch settlement ‘was at Cape Colony in 1652. In 1834 they became dissatisfled with the British rule and treked to the Transvaal. The pres- ent Boer war commenced October 11, 1899. | ADMIRAL DEITRICH — Subscriber, Menlo Park, Cal. There was no trouble between Admiral Dewey and Admiral Dei- trich at Manila, Bay in 1898. The admiral of the German navy at that port was consulted by the Spanish authorities in the matter of having the port placed in charge of a neutral admiral. Admiral Dewey heard of this and politely told the German admiral to keep hands off, and he did. That was all the trouble there was. LOCOMOTIVE—Subscriber, Marysville, Cal. The first locomotive built and suc- cessfully operated was that constructed by George Stephenson, England, 1814. In 1804 Richard Trevethick, a clever but ec- centric engineer, invented a steam car- riage which he adapted to drawing cars on the Merthyr-Tydvil rallway. This car- riage could draw only a load of ten tons | of bar iron at the rate of five miles per | hour. The first American bullt railroad engine was constructed for the Sowa Carolina Railroad and made its initial | run November 2, 1830, DEED OF GIFT—Constant Reader, Glen Ellen, Cal. In drawing up a deed of gift, a husband should set forth in the document thag “the party of the second part bearing to him the relation of wife" and further *“that the said party of the first part for and in consideration of the love and :,ecuon which the sald party of the first’ part has and bears unto the sald party of the second part, as also for the better maintenance, support, protec- tign and livelihood of the said party of the second part, does by these presents give unto the said party of the second part.” Then follows a description of the gift. SAVE THE FLAG—G. W. H., City. It was Colonel Mulligan who on the battle- fleld sald, “Lay me dowy and save the flag.” While in command of the Twenty- third Illinols. Infantry at the battle of ‘Winchester, July 24, 1864, he was, while leading a charge on the rebel lines, mor- tally wounded. A squad of his men, see- ing him fall, rushed forward to carry him cff the fleld and were taking him toward | the rear when he saw that the regimen- tal colors were in danger. Turning to his bearers, he said: “Lay me down and save the flag.” The men hesitated, so he re- peated the order peremptorily, and was obeyed. Before the men returned the hero had been borne off by the enemy and two days after he died. GENERAL WOOD—F. E. K., Chy. General Leonard Wood, now a brigadier in the regular army of the, United States, was promoted from captain on the medi- cal staff to his present position. He dia not have to resign in order to aceept a brigadiership. He was born in New Hampshire in 1860. Was assistant sur- geon, U. S. A., 183, and was promoted captain and surgeon in 189L. He was re- with the volunteer forces, being colonel of the First United States Volunteer Cay- eral in December. Was honorably dis- charged in April, 18%. He was awarded for services during the which is regulated by a rope somewhat on the same plan 2s a trolley pole, except that these contacts are raised or lowered from the front instead of from the rear of the car. The loco- own motors, not only ome, but four of them, all heavily charged and all in use at the one time. The line between Berlin and Zossen extends through an There is little or no traffic over this route, and the cars can speed along unimpeded by wagons, street cross- If the invention is adopted by the trac- tion and raliroad companies of Germany most of the lines will have to be altered; their present course through the business section will have to be done away with and the lines run along the outskirts of the town. Cross tracks will be avoided as much as’ possible, and where it is necessary to ruff through built-up localities elevated roads will be used. A CHANCE TO SMILE. He (on his knees)—Darling. I love you with all my heart, with all my soul, with all the strength of my being. She—Are you in earnest, Clarence? He (reproachfully)—In earnest! Say, do you think I'm bagsing my trousers this way for fun?—Detroit Journal. “How do you like your fiew neighbors?” “First rate. The first thing they did was to borrow our lawn mower." “Have they returned 1t?” “Not yet, and I hope they'll keep it. Then they’ll be careful about using it early in the morning or at any hour when it would attract my attention unduly.”— Washington Star. As the magazine editor walked toward heme at 3 a. m. willing hands seized him from behind and dragged him upstairs into a garret room. The budding young authors bound and gagged him, and one after another read him the MSS. he had sent back unopened, The editor tried to break his but finding this impossible he prayed Sor mercy. It was a hot night in July, but One spring poem after another smote upon his ears until he fainted sheer away. When consclousness returned he found himself on his own doorstep. There was & placard pinned on his coat bearing these words, “Returned with regret.”—Ohio State Journal. In the high school one day last week teacher desired to rlfre-h.: boy’'s n-m: ory and help him to answer a question. Acting on the supposition that a mental review would lead him Clusion, ‘she said: BB N e o “Now, g0 away back—"" Unconsciously from the entire class there came a responsive murmur: ““And sit down.” The teacher was compelled to the' audible smile, and hardry Mnome o whether the boy’s answer w: ! — Syracuse Herald. ot g, There is a couple of very fresh con- ductors on the West Twenty-third avenue line, both of whom enjoy commenting upon people’s clothes. A gentleman liv- ing in that part of town appeared in a white necktie last Sunday and the fresn conductor remarked: “Where did you preach to-day?™" Not showing that he was at all offend- ed, the gentleman repiied: “I held forth before the finest collection of impertinent, degenerate idiots that ever escaped a lunatic asylum and I sadly missed your face.”"—Washington Star. Just after the fall of Bloomfontein sol- diers were called upon, owing to the scar« city of eiviltans, to work the railway. The weary men were Iying in camp one night after a hard day's work when a sergeant called out: . “Any of you men want to put your names down as railway porters, drivers, stokers or for any other appointment con- nected with the rallway?” The silence was broken only by snores. Then one Tommy slowly raised his head and drowsily muttered: “Put me down as a sleeper.”—London Spare Moments. —_————— Choice candies, Townsend's, Palace Hotel.® ——— Ex. strong hoarhound candy. Townsend's® e st Srae. bl Cal. Gidee Fruit 50¢ per ib at Townsend's. * —_—— Look out for 8l 4th st (front of barber & grocer); finest eyeglasses, spees, 2 to 40c* — Special information supplied dally to business houses and public men the Press Clipping Purean (Allen’s), IlL gomery street. Teolepbone Main 102, < —_—