The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, December 10, 1901, Page 6

TUESDAY.... .DECEMBER 10, 1901 JOHN D. SPRECKELS, Proprietor. Adéress Al Communiestions to W. 8. LEAKE, Manager. MANAGER’S OFFICE........Telephone Press 204 PUBLICATION OFFICE Market and Third, §. F. Telepho: Press 201. EDITORIAL ROOMS.....217 to 221 Stevensonm St. Telephone Press 202. Delivered by Carriers, 15 Cents Per Week. Copies, 5 Cents. All postmasters are authorised to receive subscriptions. Sample coples Will be forwarded when requested. Mall sybscribers In ordering change of address should be particular to give both NEW AND OLD ADDRESS in order %o insure & prompt and correct compliance with their request. PAKLAND OFFICE....ccccesees.1118 Broadway ©. GEORGE KROGNESS. Mansger Foreign Advertising, Marquetts Building, Ohieage. (bong Distance Telephone “Central 2615.”) NEW YOREK CORRESPONDENT: 0. O, CARLTON . .conssvvseesssaees.Herald Square NEW YORE REPRESENTATIVE: STEPHEN B. SMITH........30 Tribune Building CHICAGO NEWS STANDS: Bberman House; P. O. News Co.: Great Northern Hotel: Fremont House; Auditorfum Hotel. N (D. C.) OFFICE....1408 G St., N. W. MORTON E. CRANE, Correspondent. BRANCH OFFICES-—i’7 Montgomery, corner of Clay, open untll 9:30 o'clock. 300 Hayes, open until 9:30 o'clock. 33 Rogue. Chutes, Zoo &nd Theater—Vaudeville every afternoon and evening. IS THE COMBINE A SCHEME? in New York that the railroad combine is in- tended by its manipulators to lead to Govern- ment ownership of all the railways in the country, It is pointed out that the leaders in the movement are not without political influence and have the power to control a considerable section of the press. The process is declared to be simple. Let the Govern, ment acquire the stocks of the lines at an appraised valuation by direct purchase, and then guarantee the interest on the bonded debt and it is done; the roads pass to public ownership and administration. A glance at the operations of the roads will il- luminate the rumored plan. In 1898 the gross earn- ings per miie of road in this country were $6771, and the net earnings over operating expenses were $2111 per mile. Nearly 18 per cent of the gross earnings went for bond interest, and 3% per cent for taxes. In that year the net resources of the roads from all sources were $389,666,574. The present capitalization of all American roads is about thirteen billioris of dollars; the total national wealth is put at 102 billions of dollars. If the Government take over the entire system by an issue of thirteen billions of dollars in bonds at 3 per cent, the annual interest charge will be $390,000,000. It will be seen that when the waste of public ownership and administration is applied to the operation of the roads, there i5 a prospect of an annual deficit in ad*“ion to this annual interest charge, which must _me out of the taxpayers. That the owne of the roads would make a good bargain on these conditions needs no further expo- sition. Their investment would be perfectly secure under the guarantee of the Government, and the peo- ple would have the satisfaction of Government owner- ship, and paying for it. As that experiment in Eu- rope has shown an invariable increase of 20 per cent in cost of operation cver the cost of private owner- ship, and at rates of transportation from three to five times higher than here, it will be seen that such in- crease will add yearly $186,400,000 to the cost of operation. But the present owners, with their bonds in their pockets, will be free from care. There will be no more bankrupt roads, with bonded debts to be scaled and bondholders to be ruined. Between 1876 and 1899, 842 different railways were foreclosed in court. Their total mileage was 106,510 miles, and their stocks and bonds amounted to six and a half billions. Foreclosure wiped out 36 per cent of the bonds and 37 per cent of the stocks. There will be other hard times and more foreclos- ures, if the Government do not take over their prop- erties, and none are more interested in running to cover than the enormous investors who will be ex- posed to the destruction of a slump. Therefore, it is not improbable that the rumor has justification, and that the fanatics who see in Gov- ernment ownership a panacea are their tools and certain newspapers their paid allies. THE rumor persistently recurs in financial circles Now that the American people have taken to rais- ing money for the relief of the women and children in the British concentration camps in South Africa it will net be long before they will begin to urge the Government to interfere on behali of the Boers. When the American begins to put his money up for a cause he is getting ready to talk business. According to the census reports of the salt in- dustry there was produced in 1899 in this country 75.939.005 bushels of salt, and as that is considerably in excess of one bushel per capita for the population it will be seen that as a people we can hardly be ac- cused of keeping ourselves too fresh. As might have been expected the longest biography in the new Congressional directory is that of Chaun- cey Depew. It contains a list of his most famous orations, but as it says nothing of his approaching marriage there will probably be a sequel. If Miss Stone, the famous missionary, had a hun- dred lives she would have lost them all in the fer- tile brains of irresponsible correspondents, who let hardly a day pass without a new report of the ven- turesome woman. CUBAN DEMANDS. ANY delegations are visiting' Washington M from Cuba to insist upon free trade with the island in sugar and tobacco. This demand is varied by propositions to abate the tariff so far be- low the Dingley rates as to deprive domestic fio- ducers of protection. The American sugar and tobacco growers, being agriculturists and to a degree unorganized, are per- haps not fully aware that free sugar from Cuba means the gift of about $260 per acre to the island planters, and that their demand has many American advo- cates in Congress and out. These advocates proceed on the philanthropic line. They insist that when we declared war against Spain “we guaranteed the prosperity of Cuba.” From that text a sermon is preached that appeals to charity and honor. If we accept the text the premise is admitted and the con- clusion must be accepted. But did we make any such guarantee?” An exam- ination of the resolution declaring war fails to find anything that can be tortured into any obligation to make the Cubans prosperous. To have undertaken such a responsibility would have been what Senator Sumner called “a piece of preposterosity.” We de- clared Cuba to be of right a free and independent state, and declared that we would not acquire sov- ereignty of the island and would abdicate occupancy upon the institution of a stable government. That is all. No state is free and independent when another has guaranteed its prosperity. The United States is concerned only with the pros- perity of its own people, and that only so far as it can be secured by financial stability and their pro- tection against the lavish production or cheap labor of other countries. Otherwise they are expected to carve out their own fortunes and dictate their own destiny. It goes without saying that acceptance of the Cuban pretensions will seriously violate the obli- gation of this Government to its own people. As our population increases and its wants grow more complex, the profit of supplying them should be kept at home, to the end that the ever-increasing demand for the profitable employment of land and labor may be met. The production of rice, sugar and tobacco is a much needed means of diversifying our agri- culture. Each requires the employment of labor in converting the raw material to human use. If that production is left undisturbed and its profit untouched it will grow beyond the domestic consumption and our agricultural and manufacturing labor will be in- creased to produce and convert the raw material for foreign markets, as has been the case in the metal, fabric, wood and leather manufactures. Why, then, is it not the part of wisdom for our Government to retain unabated its power to carry out the constitutional injunction that it shall “provide for the general welfare”? Our taxpayers have contributed hundreds of mil- lions to the Spanish war and its collateral results. If any of the statesmen think that they did this for the purpose of inviting lush production and cheap labor into competition with them, to reduce their profits, obsolete their industries and invade their prosperity, they are making a mistake, the serious’ nature of which will appear when the results become known to the people. e Mr. Lawson, the Boston millionaire, is said to have lost more than $11,000,000 in the copper deal, but inasmuch as he owns all the stock he held at first and has the same copper mines the loss is nothing more than a Wall-street calculation on the value of the stock, and it may be that the street has calcu- lated wrong. At any rate Mr. Lawson has not yet lost anything except a speculative idea. S so-called “diamond rings case” has followed the precedent set by the court in the decision of the Porto Rico cases last spring, it has occasioned comparatively little comment. In fact it was in the nature of a foregone conclusion. Such interest as exists in the matter therefore turns rather upon what was not decided than upon what was. It was decided that duties cannot be collected upon goods imported into this country from the Philippines as the law now stands, but it was not decided whether or no duties upon goods sent to the Philippines from the United States may be collected at Philippine ports. That and other questions arising from our relations to the Philippines will have to come up sooner or later. What decision will be pronounced upon them is known only to Mr. Justice Brown. On all of these UP TO JUSTICE BROWN. INCE the decision of the Supreme Court in the cases he is virtually the Supreme Court. It is up to him to decide. The position of Justice Brown is unique. The re- maining Justices of the court are divided on the question of the relation of our island possessions to the rest of the country. Justice Brown holds the balance of power, and he holds it impartially, for he favors one side about as often as the other. He may not be strictly consistent in his views, but he is un- questionably fair and gives everybody a chance. In the De Lima case decided last spring Chief %ustice Fuller and Justices Harlan, Peckham and rewer held that immediately upon the ratification of the treaty of peace Porto Rico ceased to be for- cign territory and became domestic. Brown agreed with them, and consequently Shiras, White, Gray and McKenna were left in a minority. In the Downes case it was held by Shiras, White, Gray and Peck- ham that Congress has power to impose customs duties upon trade between this country and Porto Rico, and Brown agreed with them, consequently that time it was the Chief Justice and Harlan, McKenna and Brewer who made up the minority. In the Phil- ippine case the relative positions of the Justices re- turn to what they were in the De Lima case, and once more it is Justice Brown who' makes the de- cision and determines the law of the land. The situation is not conducive to confidence in the court. It is evident we are facing problems in which the highest tribunal in the country is so equal- ly divided there is no means of forecasting what de- cisions will be given upon such new issues as will inevitably arise. Four Justices believe the islands have become a part of the United States and must be governed by Congress in accord with the constitu- tion; that their people must enjoy full freedom of trade with other portions of the country. Four other Justices hold that the islands are not a paft of the United States, or at least that they are not domestic territory within the meaning of the tariff act. Justice Brown holds an intermediate position and decides that the islands became domestic as soon as the treaty of peace was ratified, but that Congress can establish a separate tariff for them if it pleases. It has been said by lawyers that the decisions 'vir- tually give us three kinds of territory and three kinds of citizens. First, the States whose citizens are clothed with full ‘powers of sovereignty’ and self- government; second, incorporated Territories whose ' 24 . citizens are entitled to freedom of trade with the States but are not entitled to vote for Presidential electors or to have representation in the United States Senate; and third, unincorporated territories held as “appurtenances” to the Union, and whose citizens have no rights except such as Congress may choose to grant. < Out of that complexity there are certain to arise many perplexing questions. At present no one can foresee what they will be. All that we know is that so long as the membership of the Supreme Court re- mains as it is there will be division, and the settle- ment of each issue will be up to Justice Brown, who' in such matters exercises a one-man power of the first magnitude. The South American delegates to the Pan-Ameri- can Congress seem to be of the opinion that inter- national arbitration will be a good thing provided there is no attempt made to arbitrate anything that gives promise of war and a chance to upset a Govern- ment. L immediately updn the assembling of Parliament the Ministry will bring forward a plan for abol- ishing the concentration camps in South Africa and substituting a better method of caring for the Boer prisoners and refugees. No information from an of- ficial source has been given concerning the nature of the new plan, but it is believed it will consist of dis- tributing the refugees throughout the more settled and peaceable districts of the Transvaal instead of herding them together as is the practice now. The movement on the part of the Ministry is a victory of the moral sentiment of mankind against so-called military necessity. From every part of the civilized world there has arisen a protest against the cruel policy which Weyler introduced in Cuba and Kitchener has followed in South Africa. It is but just to the British to recognize that they have themselves furnished many of the foremost and most earnest of those who denounce the system. The most effective blow was delivered by Miss Hobhouse, a British nurse who went to the seat of war not to sympathize with the Boers but to serve wherever needed in her professional capacity, and whose report of what she saw in the concentration camps aroused the indignation of humane people in Great Britain as well as in other countries. American sympathy has promptly followed the dis- closures of the condition of the camps. At the pres- ent time in the East no public gatherings are more largely attended than those held for the purpose of raising money for the Boer prisoners, nor is there any cause for which money is more liberally. contributed. This manifestation of sentiment in America may well serve the Ministry as a warning, for on the whole the people of this country have not been at all pre- judiced or antagonistic to the British in the war. If there be a change of sentiment now it will be because the change is justified. A recent circular issued by the Chicago Branch of the American Transvaal League presents statistics of the death rate in the camps from June to September, inclusive, showing that in June the rate was equiva- lent to an annual death rate of 190 per thousand. It continued to increase month after month until in September it amounted to an annual rate of 264 per thousand. The death ratc among the children in Sep- tember is given at the equivalent of an annual rate of 433 per thousand. Statistics coming from the Boer side may be more or less exaggerated, but information from British sources gogs far to confirm them. The significance of a yearly death rate of 264 per thousand may be estimated from the fact that the normal yearly death rate in England and Wales is but eighteen per thou- saad. The Boers are known to be a robust and hardy race, and it can readily be seen that so large a death rate among them implies a fearful condition in the concentration camps. Clearly then it is high time for the Ministry to put an end'to them. CONCENTRATION CAMPS. R ONDON dispatches of yesterday announce that | A report from Princeton says that a protest against the proposed extension of a trolley line has been signed by “Grover Cleveland and other prominent business men,” so it seems that to pass from the Presidency to the rank of a “prominent citizen” is easy; but when did Cleveland go into business? MINORITY DISCORDS. HE Democracy proves still unable to rule its T own spirit. Mr. Bryan has degenerated into the party scold. He lets go one day at Gorman and the next at Watterson. He deifies himself by re- ferring to Senator John P. Jones as Judas Iscariot, who has betrayed him, and scarcely suspends his duty on the watch tower, long enough to care for his anaemic, ccz:mamul, ring-wormed political offspring, free silver. Hill has left Croker to smoke the pipe of peace alone, and the Jackson Club of Omaha has taken up Croker's fight and refuses to invite Hill to dine with it on January 8. In Missouri the State officers and committeemen of the party are in court telling tales on each other and digging up cashbooks showing large donations from all the corporations, and the corporations remark that as the Democratic platform threatened their undoing by unfriendly legislation they were justified in seeking safety by cash. They say that the wise corporation only buys peace of those that threaten war. The minority in the House of Representatives held its caucus and immediately proceeded to quarrel over cvery issue in sight. The New York contingent submitted a wordy programme, which omitted free silver, and a Bryanite moved to substitute the Kansas City platform, and then the men who desire to run the Government showed that they could not run their own caucus nor agree upon anything, and the anxious and perspiring leader, Mr. Richardson, secured an adjournment without coming to any decision. This leaves the minority to indulge in a go-as-you-please, and its political course will be merely a guerrilla warfare. The people will not trust a party that is composed of disagreements. It is united in only one thing and that is opposition to whatever Republicans propose. But that is the policy of destruction. The people want a constructive policy. It i$ a rule of law and logic that he who comes to negative and destroy a proposition must come with one to take its place. The country is as yet unaware of any feasible Democratic policy not already rejected by the people upon which it can be invited back to power. Its con- dition now is worse than ever in it history. It has received the weakening accessions of Patterson, Heitfelt and Duboise, the Populists, who have car- ried into its councils nothing but further discord, and is worse off than before those Senators crossed over. Evidently the country must continue to look to the Republican party for affirmative and constructive leg- islation, and the responsibility of ‘that party is in- | creased by the irresponsibility of its opponent. THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 10, 1901 QUEEN’S VALUABLE PET DOG CAN EASILY BE HELD ON HER HAND X o+ THE SMALLEST OF ALL POMERANIAN DOGS WAS PRESENTED TO QUEEN ALEXANDRA BY LADY BAR- NETT OF WOODSTOCK, ENGLAND, SAYS THE NEW YORK WORLD. THE DOG IS VALUED AT $5000, AND WEIGHS ONLY A POUND AND A HALF. THE QUEEN CAN HOLD HIM ON HER HAND. HE IS A BEA TIFUL INKY BLACK WITH EYES LIKE VELVET AND A JET BLACK NOSE AS POINTED AS A FOX‘?% | ———— ANSWERS TO QUERIES. A FIVE OF '5—B. J. B., Woodland, Cal. No premium is offered for a $ plece of 1856. o, S., City. Lieutenant H. 8. Roosevelt, U. 8. M. C,, is a cousin of the President. HALF-DOLLAR—C. L. D. City. A half dollar of 1813 does not command a premium. Dealers offer such for $5 cents. FORUM CLUB-E. H., City. Thereis a Forum Club in San Francisco, the address of which can be found in the city direc- tory. ADDRESSES—Constant Reader, City. This department does not furnish ad- dresses that can be found in the city di- rectory. ROOSEVELT—A. LIGHT OF THE MOON—A. O. F. T. C., City. “In the Light of the Moon,” that is to be found in “Sapho,” was written by Augier, music by Gounod. _ CHRISTIAN ENDEAVORERS—A. S, City. The Christian Endeavor Assocla- tion Convention was held in San Francis- co during the month of July, 1897. MULES—Several correspondents, City and Country. The address of the agent announced as buying mules for the Brit- 1sh Government 1s 929 Market street. PEN DRAWING—F. L, City. Artists who make pen drawings generally draw lightly in pencil first. Any first class book store will furnish you books on drawing. THE WOMAN YOU LOVE—A corre- spondent of this department wishes to know the name of the author of “To the ‘Woman You Love” in *“Bonnie Prince Charlie.” CARRIAGE—T. H., City. The French dictionaries do not contain any such word as “carriage,” so this department cannot inform you “what the word carriage in French means.” JEFFRIES-RUHLIN—J. H. W. et als., City. There are no figures that will show “the exact number of spectators at the Jeffries-Ruhlin contest at the Mechanics’ Pavilion November 16, 1901.” BERKELEY—Reader, City. There are no saloons in Berkeley within a radius of one mile from the University grounds. During the past ten years Berkeley has advanced, not retrograded. OLYMPIA BOXING CLUB—G. J., Or- land, Cal. There is no Olympia Boxing Club in San Francisco. If you mean the Olympic, then Willlam Greer Harrison is the general manager. M. S. Houghton is the active manager for boxing contests. A CHINESE-J. E. C, Witter, Lake Ccunty, Cal. The naturalization of Chi- nese is expressly prohibited by section M, chapter 126 of the United States laws of 1582, The children born of Chinese pa- rents in the United States are natives and citizens of the United States, THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY-J. C, Sacramento, Cal. If J gives a written or- der to be delivered to a merchant on which there is written “let Mr. 8, have merchandise to the amount of $12 and I will see that you receive your pay,” J assumes the responsibility of the pay- ment. LINCOLN AND HAMLIN-Inquirer, City. There is nothing in the blographies of either Lincoln or Hannibal Hamlin showing that Hamlin opposed the nomina- tion of Lincoln for a second term. On the contrary there appears to have been noth- ing but the very best of feeling between the two. GARDENER— . J. L., Spreckels, Cal. Possibly when you asked the question abcut George Gardener you had the in- dividual in your mind, but in your letter of inquiry neglected to state who George Gardener is. This department has not the time to hunt up the biography of every George Gardener who may have come to the surface. ACES IN CASINO—Subscriber, Stock- yards, Alameda, Cal. Aces in casino do not count first. The count in that game on the last deal is cards, spades, big ca- sino, little casino, aces and sweeps. Who- ever holds cards and if cards are even, ‘whoéver holds spades counts first, and if he has enough points goes out. COMMISSIONER GUNST—Reader, Ba- kersfleld, Cal. Moses A. Gunst was ap- pointed a member of the Board of Police Commissioners for San Francisco by Governor Markham. Govérnor Budd tried to revoke the appointment by appointing Stewart Menzies, but Gunst was held by the court in which the matter came up as the legally appointed Commissioner. MOFFATT AND NEILL—M. M., City. The vecord of Moffatt and Neill, the pu- gilists, In San Franciseo is as follows: June 8, 1900, Woodward’s Pavilion, Neill lost to Moffatt in eleven rounds; July 13, 1900, Mechanics’ Pavilion, Neill lost to Moffatt in twenty ; September 12, 1%00, Netll declared the victor in a three.. PERSONAL MENTION. The Rev. Webster L. Clark of Benicia is at the California. T. J. Fleld, a banker of Monterey, Is a guest at the Palace. W. H. Hatton, the well known attorney of Modesto, is at the Lick. Louis Kahn, a banker of Oakdale, among the arrivals at the Palace. Dr. D. J. Brannen of Flagstaff, Ariz., is at the Grand, accompanied by his wife. Superior Judge W. P. Lawlor will ar- rive to-day from an extended visit in New York. Garret McEnerney nas written friends that he will be here from Europe on the 234 inst. Railroad Commissioner Edson is down from Gazelle and is registered at the Occidental. G. McM. Ross, the well known mining man of Virginia City, registered at the Occldental yesterday. W. J. Tinnin, formerly Surveyor of the Port of San Franeisco, s up from Fresno for a few days. He is at the Grand. R. V. Ellis, an oil expert of Hanford, is up here on a short business trip and has made his headquarters at the Palace. Ex-Governor Budd leaves the latter part of this week for Washington, as a mem- ber of the committe to urge Congress to renew the Geary exclusion act. W. G. Kirckhoff, a prominent electrical engineer of Los Angeles, is at the Palace He is en route for an extended tour of the East, accompanied by his wife. L e e e ] rcund contest with Moffatt, who in that reund dislocated his shoulder. 1s DUTY AND FREIGHT—T. H,, City. By calling at the Custom-house you will be told what the duty will be on “‘a $200 ma- chine to be imported from Paris, France.” Not knowing what kind of a machine you want to import this department’ cannot e you as to freight rates. You will e to call on some shipping firm. ASKING TOO MUCH—A Reader, City. The question “What country can claim the best-looking and best-shaped woman?"” is one that no one can answer, for the reason that beauty of face and sym- metry of shape are matters of individual opinion and as diversified as there are individuals. What is beautiful to one is not to another. The matter of female beauty is best explained by the expression of a Frenchman to the effect that every woman Is beautiful in the eyes of the man who loves her. h: MISSIONS OF CALIFORNIA—Constant Reader, City. The old missions of Cali- fornia were: San Francisco Solano, San Rafael, San Francisco, Santa Clara, San Jose, Santa Cruz, San Juan Bautista, San Carlos, Nuestra Senora de la Soledad, San Antonio, San Miguel, San Luis Obispo, La Purissima, Santa Inez, Santa Barbara, Buenaventura, San Fernando, San Ga- briel, San Juan Capistrano, San Luis Rey and San Diego. The first six were in the jurisdiction of San Francisco, the second six jurisdiction of Monterey, the next five in the jurisdiction of Santa Barbara and the last four in the jurisdiction of San Diego. CALIFORNIA'S REPRESENTATIVES —H. 8, City. The following are the home and Washington addresses of those who represent California in Congress: Senators—George C. Perkins, Oakland, the Albany, Washington; Thomas R. Bard, Hueneme, the Normandle, Wash- Ington. Representatives—John A. Barham, San- ta Rosa, the Ebbitt, Washington; Samuel D. Woods, Stockton, House of Represen- tatives, Washington; Victor H. Metcalf, Oakland, the Arlington, Washington; Julius Kahn, San Francisco, the Hamil- ton, Washington; Eugene F. Loud, San Francisco, the Everett, Washington; Rus- sell J. Waters, Los Angeles, the Orleans, ‘Washington; James C. Needham, Modes- to, 115 Maryland avenue, Washington. POOR SINNER'S BELL-B. F. W., City. The poor sinner’s bell is a bell in the city of Breslau, in the province of Silesia, Prussia, and hangs in the tower of one of the city churches. According to historic records, it was cast July 17, 1336. It is said that a great bell founder of the place had undertaken to make the finest church bell he had ever made. ‘When the metal was melted the founder withdrew ‘for a few moments, leaving a boy to watch the furnace and enjoining bim not to meddle with the catch that beld the molten metal, but the boy dis- obeyed the caution, and when he saw the metal flowing into the mold he called the founder. The latter rushed in, and seeing as he thought his work of weeks undone and his masterpiece ruined, struck the boy a blow that caused his immediate death. When the metal cooled and the mold was opened the bell was found to be not only perfect, but of marvelous sweetness of tonme. The founder gave himself up to the authorities, was tried and condemned to death. On the day of his execution the bell was xung to call people :: l&(:n:-‘:::;oh and offer a prayer for: man’s soul, and from that it obtained the A s e 8 e A CHANCE TO SMILE. A ticket collector on a railway got leave to go and get married ana was given a pass over the line. On the way back he showed the new collector his marriage certificate by mistake for his pass. He studied it carefully and then said: “Eh, mon, you've got a ticket for a lang, wear- isome journey, but not on the Caledonian Ratlway."—Tit-Bits. Of smokeless powder once they talked, No more our thoughts it claims; It’s insect powder they must use If they keep calling names. d Tess—So he really sald he thought me very witty, eh? Jess—Not exactly. He said he had to laugh every time he saw you.—Philadel- phia Press. “Enthustasm is contagious.” “Oh, not always; I've courted girls who didn’'t seem to share my enthusiasm the least.”"—Chicago Record-Herald. ‘1‘4 Styles—Capitalists say that they find it difficult to iavest their money at paying rates, Byles—Then I am in luck for once. Styles—Got your money in something that pays you a good interest? Byles—I haven't any money.—Boston Transeript. “Maéam,” sald the handsome and well mannered university man who is turning an honest penny as a member of the Pan- American Guard, “are you looking for an exit?” “No, sir, I am not,” said the woman from Penn Yan, with much asperity. “I am looking for a way to git out.”—Buf- falo Commercial. “I was put out of the theater,” asserted the indignant man. “And you want damages?’ asked the lawyer. ~ “That’s exactly it,” answered the indig- nant man. ‘“What was the play?” “Henrietta Squeeler in her new emo- tional drama.” “You have no claim for damages if they put you out,” asserted the lawyer, “but you'd have a fine case iIf they’'d made you stay. I've seen her.”"—Chicago Post. ™~ He—Do you think a man ought to bracelets? She—Well, if a man wants to bracelets I think he ought to wear them, so that everybody will know he is the kind of man that wants to wear brace- lets.—Chicago Record-Herald. D'Orville de Flunke—Is there any good shooting in this vicinity? Bill de Grafter (of Omaha)—Sure t'ing. De crap shootin’ is always good, an’ de sucker fishin’ ain’t never bin's good since de fishermen wus protected.—Omaha ‘World-Herald. At one time, says a Kansas editor, we Wwere sure that we had drawn the capital prize; In fact, we had a message to that effect, but our wife awoke us before we could read it. Women should not inter- fere in Dbusiness transactions.—Chicago Tribune. Mrs. Enpeck—James, you are good on language. What is the difference between exported and transported? Mr. Enpeck—Why, my dear, If you should go to England you would be ex- ported, and I—well, I would bs trans- ported.—Sunny South. ‘Wpmen in Norway can vote after they have veached the age of 25. Such a regu- lation| would distranchise most of the woemen of this country, few of them hav- ing reached that mature age.—Cr o Dally News. ‘ ———— General Botha’s Humor. The British officlals in the Transvaal, who' are inclined to enjoy a joke what- ever the reaction, are delighted with an anecdote relating to an interview between Kitchener and the Boer general, Botha. At the conclusion of the fruitless con- te:;nce to arrange terms of peace Botha said: “Well, I must be gone.” “Don’t be in a hurry,” sald Kitchener, hospitably. “You haven't got to catch a train.’ “But that's just what I've got to do,” answered Botha, as he took his leave. And so he had, for two days later he caught and looted a train on the Delagoa line not far from the place of meeting.— Youths’ Companion. —_——— \ Walnut and Pecan Panoche. Townsend * —_—— Choice candies. Townsend's, Palace Hotel® ——— Cal. Glace Fruit 50c per Ib at Townsend'a.® Best eyeglasses, specs, 10¢, 40c. Look out N for 81 4th st., front barber and grocery. * —_—— Speciai information supplied dally to business houses and public men the Press Clipping Bureau (Allen’s), 51 gomery street. Telephone Main 1040 ¢ —_———— Only 9 per cent of the soldiers actually engaged in war are killed on the fleld of battle. ———— Dr. Sanford’s Liver Invigorator. Best Liver Medicine, VegetableCurefor Liver Ills, Billousness, Indigestion, Constigation, Malaria,