The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, October 23, 1901, Page 6

WEDNESDAY....c0000000....OCTOBER 23, 1901 JOHN D, SPRECKELS, - Proprietor. Address Al ‘Communications to W. 5. LEAKE, Manager. MANAGER'S OFFICE........Telephone Press 204 FPUBLICATION OFFICE. ..Market and Third, 8, F. Telephone Press 201, EDITORIAL ROOMS. ....217 to Telephone Press Delivered by Carriers, 15 Cents Per Week. Single Coples, § Cents. Terms by Mail, Including Postages DAILY CALL (ncluding Sunday), one year. DAILY CALL Cncluding Sunday), & months.. DAILY CALL (including funday), 3 1.opths. DAILY CALL-By Single Month. 221 Stevensom St. 202. All postmasters nre subscriptions, Bemple coples will be forwarGed when requested. Mai) subscribers in ordering change of address should be particular to give both NEW AND OLD ADDRESS in order %0 insure & prompt and correct compliance with their request. OAKLAND OFFICE..............1118 Broadway C. GEORGE KROGNESS. Manager Foreign Advertising, Marquette Building, Chicago. (Long Distance Telephone *‘Central 2613.”) NEW YORK CORRESPONDENT: K. C. CARLTON...cccssessssssses-Herald Square NEW YORK REPRESENTATIVE: STEPHEN B. SMITH........30 Tribune Building CHICAGO NEWS STANDS: Eberman House; P. O. News Co.; Great Northern Hotel; Fremont House; Auditorium Hotel NEW YORK NEWS STANDS: ° ‘Waldorf-Astoria Hotel; A. Brenstano, 31 Union Square; Murray Hill Hotel. MWASHINGTON (D. C.) OFFICE....1408 G St., N. W. MORTON E. CRANE, Correspondent. BRANCH OFFICES—521 Montgomery, corner of Clay, open until $:30 o'clock. 300 Hayes, open until :30 o'clock. 633 McAllister, open until $:30 o’clock. €15 Larkin, open until #:30 o'clock. 1841 Mission, open until 10 o'clock. 2261 Market, corner Sixteenth, open until $ o'clock. 1096 Valencla, open until § o'clock. 106 Eleventh, open until § o'clock. NW. corner Twenty-second and Kentucky, open until $ o'clock. 2200 Fillmore, open until § p. m. e ————— e AMUSEMENTS. Female Drummer."” ‘Norma™" e Cotton King.” house—"The Man From Mexico.” The Girl in the Barracks.” e Henrietta.” m—Vaudeville. Zoo and Theater—Vaudeville every afterncon and 2 sulaode s sl audeville. aths—Open nights. AUCTION SALES. G F. Lamson—This day, at 11 o'clock, Furniture, at Jackson street THE CHOICE OF SUPERVISORS. TANCH S: conve and stalwart Republicans who are he traditions of the party and who are to its principles watched with no little dis- of the so-called Republican hich nominated candidates d by such well-known Demo- bosses of the Scuthern Pacific Railroad as W. and Jere Burke. It may be admitted that the candidates nominated are,good men, but hy was it necessary for them to have the indorse- ment of Burke and Herrin? fe proposition that crooked politics is never ud proceedings 1 in th isors dictat for S of s for nothing, neither did they intrude them- ose councils for nothing. It must have ment tor mumal profit between the of the convention and the Demo- the railroad that brought their agree- ket for Supervisors. ny probing into the secret meet- before the convention to demon- tence of z conspiracy among them to an party as a means of getting con- ty government and making use of it for ge of corporations. Where Herrin and e are working in the sunshine we may be sure rations are lurking in the shadow. It is ¢ a foregone conclusion that these men nomi- the dictation of the Democratic corporation s were pledged to give the corporations what- r they wish. be recalled that up to the time of the pri- s it was believed the Republicans had something 2 easy walkover in this contest. The Demo- rty was divided and almost demoralized. A straight-out Republican convention could have nomi- nated a ticket which would have had a victory that would hardly have been disputed. That prospect, however, was blighted by the convention when it-sur- rendered to the bosses and accepted a ticket made up for it by two railroad Democrats who never in their lives cared anything about the Republican party or about San Francisco, and whose only aim in helping the Republican bosses was to put themselves in a position where they cculd demand a return of favors in the shape of service rendered to the corporations by which Burke and Herrin are employed. Stanch and loyal Republicans will not accept can- didates named by corporation Democrats. Under any circumstances such nominations would be revolting to the party. In this instance there are many cir- cumstances attending the nominations that make them even more revolting than they would otherwise be. In the first place the manner in which the nomi- nations were made was insulting to the intelligence and independence of the rank and file of tfie party, and in the second place it seems the bosses deem this to be a yellow dog year, for most of the candidates on the ticket for Supervisors are of that variety. There is but one way for honest Republicans to effectively resent and remedy the wrong that has been put upon the party, and that is by defeating the can- didates whom Herrin and Burke have nominated. It happens that the men named by the Democratic party for Supervisors are men whom the stanchest of Re- publicans can vote for without any sacrifice of party loyaity or any lack of civic patriotism. They have been tried in office and they have been found to be faith- ful and honest. No scandal stains the record of their service. In an election of this kind, where no party principle nor even a partisan policy is at stake, Re- . publicans can well afford to vote for the candidates for Supervisors who can be expected to render the most faithful service to the city. One set of candi- dates comes before the people with an open record of work done for the city, the other with a secret pledge of work to be done for corporations. No intelligent man, Republican or independent, can hesitate how to vote on such an issue cor; cratic | fruits and timber, and of our waters in fish. THE MINERS’ CONVENTION. N no other State in the Union is there as general I nterest in mining as in California. Here was the ’st great production of gold in the United States. ‘We were ahead of Australia in the discovery and de- velopment of large deposits, and our fame as a gold producer went foxth into the world ahead of Siberia. Nearly all of the improved processes of mining have originated in California, or have been the discovery or invention of California miners.” Our other indus- tries are great and permanent, but there is scarcely an enterprising man who does not turn to the mines as a last resort to make or recruit his fortune. Nearly every prominent public man has had something to do with mines. Our senior Senator, Perkins, was a sailor, a merchant, and is now a large ship-owner, but still he is a miner. The great fortunes made in this State have been won in the mines, or in their be- ginning related to that industry. Even the four build- ers of the Central Pacific Railway had to trace the foundation of their wealth to the building of a line originally intended to reach the mines of Dutch Flat. It i5 no wonder that the State Mining Association, which is now holding its tenth annual convention in this city, has a meémbership of nine thousand, the largest, we believe, of any industrial organization in the Union, and perhaps in the world, in proportion to the population it represents. It has done much for mining, but much remains to be done. California should no longer permit the State of Colorado to have the leading School of Mines in this country. Her institution at Golden is overflowing with students of mining from all over the world. California has furnished the greatest mining experts and engineers known to that industry. They have developed the mines of Africa and are developing those of China. They are consulted by the Russian officers in Siberia. - Naturally the State from which they hail should have a great mining school, in which the en- gineering, metallurgy, mineralogy and' geology of the subject should be taught to all comers. This State should permit it no longer to appear that Wash- ington University in St. Louis and Johns Hopkins in Baltimore have to furnish the mining chemists who master the reduction of the refractory copper ores of Arizona and the rebellious ores of Oregon. California has excelled all others in the mechanical appliances of mining, and in the engineering of mines. But mining now requires the union of chemical with me- chanical skill and knowledge, and this State should go forward to that branch of the subject in the knowl- edge that rich rewards await the experts who can solve some of the great chemical problems presented by the large variety of our ores and by the combina- tions in which the precious metals are found. Between this State and a great iron mining industry lies a barrier that mechanics and chemists must com- bine to solve, and when a smelter rises in that solution we will expoft iron instead of importing it. If the genius of our people is trained and brought to bear upon these problems of reduction, and we learn how to wrest the value of cur metals from close-fisted Na- ture, the metallurgical center of the world, which now at Swansea, Wales, will be transferred to this coast, and will rise somewhere upon the shores of San Francisco Bay. The Miners’ Convention has before it practical is- sues of immediate importance, but it should have a forward lcok toward these other issues which affect the permanence of mining and the location of fts greatest and most complete expression here. There is no doubt that all of these interests would get a great impulse’if the industry could secure repre- sentation in the Cabinet. This is the greatest mining country in the world. Our iron, coal, copper, oil, stone, gold, silver, salt, borax and soda make up the greatest group of precious and economic metals and minerals found on the planet. el Look at this list of these products mined and pro- duced in commercial quantities in California alone. We produced for the season of 1899-1900 antimony, asbestos, asphalt, bituminous" rock, borax, cement, chrome, brick clay, potters clay, coal, copper, fullers earth, glass sand, gold, granite, gypsum, infusorial earth, lead, limestone and lime, lithia mica, stone for macadam, magnesite, manganese, marble, mineral paint, mineral water, natural gas, onyx and travertine, paving blocks, petroleum, platinum, pyrites, quartz sand, quicksilver, rubble, salt, sandstone, serpentine, silver, slate and soda, to the aggregate value of $30,- 000,000. We boast justifiably of the rich variety of the products of our soil in field and garden crops and But Na- ture has not been content to endow us with these alone, and has stored in the soil and in the embrace of the rocks an equally amazing variety of metals and minerals. It is a goodly land, and that part of its interests rep- resented by this Miners’ Convention is in good hands. T ———— A story is going the rounds of Europe to the effect that the Czar of Russia, as a means of promoting the peace of Europe, has suggested to France and Ger- many the advisability of making Alsace and Lorraine an independent country to form a “buffer state” be- tween the two nations; and there the story ends. It appears the man who invented it did not feel capable of telling what-the Kaiser said when the proposition was made to him. S to abate the nuisance of freak advertising on the public streets appears to be well devised to meet and overcome the objections made to the former ordinance on the subject. The issue is one that has engaged the attention of municipal authorities not only in all parts of the United States, but in Europe as well. That form of advertising has, in fact, be- come one of the serious nuisances of civilization, and it is everywhere evident that some means must be de- vised for putting an end to it. While restrictive ordinances have been adopted in many cities, it is notable that at present in the East- ern States the trend of public sentiment on the sub- ject is in the direction of regulating the nuisance by means of taxation. That system was adopted some years ago in France, and as a result the French Gov- ernment enjoys the satisfaction of deriving a hand- some revenue from billboard advertising, as well as the satisfaction of gerceiving that the worst features of the nuisance have been abated. In discussing this phase of the subject the Boston Herald recently said: “Advertising genius has had its ruthless, impudent way too long, making its work a nuisance to, the life of communities. There are laws now forbidding some kinds of signs, but they are not well enforced, chiefly becatise it is not made any one’s business to enforce them. But if all posters were sub- ject to taxation, an immense number would promptly cease to afflict, and all that would hereafter appear FREAK ADVERTISING. ‘ UPERVISOR REED'S new ordinance intended would conform to such rules and regulations as the T place as well as to size and character, Taxation need not, as some fear it would, authorize offensive signs. Certainly they would have no more freedom and encouragement than they now have, and it would be practicable to abolish them altogether.” That statement may be taken as a fair expression of the conclusion of the Eastern press upon the sub- ject. It has been stated in almost the same language again and again by the leading papers in New York, Philadelphia and Chicago. In fact, the French plan of imposing a tax upon such advertising has been tried and found to be effective, while no other form of regulation has been effective. As the Herald has said, “there are laws now forbidding some kind of signs, but they are not well enforced chiefly because it is not made any one’s business to enforce them.” We have an illustration of that neglect in our own city in the fact that the Supervisors have found it necessary to refer to the Police Committee a resolu- tion directing the attention of the police to_the ordi- nance prohibiting the maintenance of inflammable fences more than ten feet in height. That ordinance, it appears, has not been enforced, and the Chief of Police has been called upon now to enforce it. The problem is a troublesome one, and the nuisance increases rather than diminishes. In some way a remedy must be provided, and up to this time no plan for abating the nuisance has proven more successful or has been more generally commended than that of subjecting it to the regulations of tax laws. e The Empress Dowager of China has declared in an eaten gall. She probably suggests the information as a congratulafion that she was permitted either to her neither. YALE IN HER GLORY. W tions and with a generous bestowal of hon- ors Yale is celebrating the two hundredth dent body is lost sight of, the football players have to go way back and sit down, while the scholars and the public. The festival has been made the occasion for a Delegates from thirty foreign universities and from 125 American institutions are among the disting- Booker Washington, the negro who has made for himself an honored place among the foremost educa- On the day when the university extended her formal welcome to her guests responses were made by Profes- of Great Britain; Fedorovich Maartens of St. Peters- burg, for the universities of Continental Europe; Eastern States; President Dabney of the University oi Tennessee, for the umiversities of the Southern versities of the West. It will be perceived Yale has not yet lcarned that Chicago is not the West of this center; but that error, we trust, will not long con- tinue. In the absence of any genuine Western repre- sented by President Harper as by any other Eastern man. and the Yale influence. It is now recognized that the founder of the institution was one of the truest of the honor that will be given it. More and more we are coming to recognize that the welfare of our republic upon its educational system. The best form of gov- ernment cannot avail to advance an ignorant or a cor- and learning that we look for the inculcation of the principles and precepts that are to keep us as a free In his address the other day President Hadley said: “It is becoming evident that the real test of an educa- political exigencies. If it accomplisinthat result it is fundamentally good whatever else it may leave un- excellence in other directions can save it from con- demnation.” is sound doctrine. It is quite true that.all students at Yale are not attentive to the teaching, but most of pathy with the Yale festival because they know that she has taught her sons that to be rightly trained for has said: “Inflamed with the study of learning and the admiration of virtue, stirred up with high hopes edict that for a year she has slept on wormwood and sleep or eat. Her conduct should have guaranteed ITH stately ceremonials, with classic ora- anniversary of her foundation. For a time the stu- dignitaries of the university hold the attention of the gathering of scholars from all parts of the world. uished guests, and nctable in the number is Dr. tors of the world. . sor Williams of Oxford, who spoke for the universities President Eliot of Harvard, for the unjversities of the States, and President Harper of Chicago, for the uni- country; that, in fact, it is some distance east of the sentative we are just as well satisfied to be repre- The United States owes much to the Yale teaching benefactors of the country. His memory merits every is dependent less upon its political constitution than rupt people. It is therefore to the centers of light people and a great nation. tional system lies in its training of a citizen to meet done. If it fail in that cardinal point no amount of That is the kind of doctrine taught at Yale, and it them are, and the people as a whole are in full sym- citizenship the youth must be as President Hadley of living to be brave men and worthy patriots.” Chairman Jones of the Democratic State Commit- tee of South Carolina recently withdrew from the race for the seat in the Senate now held by McLaurin, and in doing so recommended that the party unite on ‘Wade Hampton for the succession. The affair has created something of a sensation in the State and should the plan be carried out there will be surprise in the country, for a combination of Wade Hampton and Tillman would be a startling novelty even in politics. f e B The Republican State campaign committee of Maryland has purchased 14,000 pairs of spectacles, so that nearsighted persons may see clearly to vote the right ticket. There is very little to indicate the ne- cessity for similar provision for right-thinking peo- ple of this city at the approaching election. _— A Pennsylvania gentleman is boasting of having a fruit tree which bears two kinds of apples and four kinds of pears, but even that record does not equal Quay’s famous plum tree, from which he could shake down at any time any kind of plum for any number of men who voted right. . It is announced that Sarah Grand, author of “The Heavenly Twins,” is coming to this country to lec- ture, and along with the announcement comes the in- formation that her name is Mrs. McFall; she is of Quaker descent and was born in Ireland. A sea captain who recently arrived at. Philadelphia reports having sailed for miles through “a blood- colored sea which was swarming with snakes.” The log shows no statement as to the kind of grog used during the voyage. Senator Mason’s recent statement that the fight against him amounts to nothing and that he is sure of re-election may be cited as another evidence that the eloquent gentleman h»e a tongue that will say {law might impose. The regulations might apply to | anything, ” THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 23, 1901. NEW FLOATING STEEL DRYDOCK » OF THE UNITED STATES NAVY L 4 HOLDING A BATTLESHIP. THIS IS THE LARGEST DOCK IN THE WORLD AND A VALUABLE ADDITION TO OUR NAVY. IT IS 52 FEET LONG, WITH A LIFTING POWER OF 20,000 TONS, AND COST $810,00. PICTURES SHOW HOW IT WILL LOOK S SR S A L ANSWERS TO QUERIES. LEGAL ADVICE—H. E. F., City. This department will state the law when such questions are asked, but it will not give legal advice or decide points of law. BUCKING—A. 0. 8., Ono, Shasta Coun- ty, Cal. “Bucking” in mining is a term applied to the crushing of ore by hand on a plate by means of a flat head hammer. ST. LOUIS BRIDGE-J. K., City. The great Eades bridge across the Mississippi at St. Louis was, according to Switzer's “History of Missouri,” the Missouri State Gazetteer and other authorities, opened on the 4th of July, 1874, in the presence of at least 150,000 persons. OZOCERITE—Subscriber, City. Ozocer- ite, also written ozokerite, is a mineral ‘wax of a rich brown color with a green tint, found in immense deposits in Galicia and Moldavia. It is one of the mineral resins occurring in shales of the coal formation, and is refined and molded into candles. HOSPITALS—Inquirer, Haywards, Cal. To prevent one county from saddling the destitute sick of its territory upon the free hospital of another county each county in the State of California has placed a time limit as to residence before a patient can be admitted for treatment. This does not, however, apply to emer- gency cases. MOVER OF A MOTION—P. D. R., City. Tt is customary for the president of an assemblage to appoint the mover of a motion to name a committee as chairman of such committee, but it is not obliga- tory. That the president of the assembly does not appoint the mover on the cor- mittee or as chairman thereof is not to be taken as evidence that the president is ignorant of parliamentary law. SUNDAY CONTRACTS—A. M. T. Con- tracts made on Sunday are popularly supposed to be void. This is a matter largely dependent on local statutory law. In the absence of a statutory inhibition parties may malke a valid contract on Sunday as well as on any other day. Even when enactments exist such contracts are not usually void, but only voidable, and if subsequently ratified on a secular day they may be enforceable according to the terms. LICENSES—K., Kirkwood, Cal. If you desire to go into the business of travel- ing through the country and selling from house to house spectacles and eyeglasses and propose to deliver the glasses to those who need them after an examination of their sight, you will become a peddler and will have to have a peddler’s license in whichever county you may do business. If you canvass for books to be delivered by the house you represent, you will not need a license. PUBLIC UTILITIES — T. E. McG., Eureka, Cal. The following named piaces in the State of California own their vwn water works: Anaheim, Colton, Giiroy, Grass Valley, Lincoln, Lompoc, Modesto, Monrovia, Oceanside, Ontario, Palo Alto, Redwood City, Sacramento, San Ber- nardino, San Diego, San Jacinto, Santa Ana, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz, Suisun, Vallejo and Woodland. There may be others, but this department has no data other than that furnished. There is no complete list of places in the State that own their light plants, but among those that do may be mentioned Alameda and Palo Alto. LETTER OF INQUIRY—Subscriber, City. A letter of inquiry addressed to The Call's department of Answers to Corre- spondents asking for an answer through the columns of the paper does not have to have a stamp inclosed, but letters of inquiry of a personal nature or those ask- ing for answers which if printed wculd amount to an advertisement of any busi- ness or firm should be accompanied by a self-addressed and stamped envelope. The same rule applies to a letter of inquiry sent to any one outside of a newspaper that has a department of answers to cor- respondents. It is enough to ask the rar- ty addressed to furnish the information desired, without asking him to pay post- age for the privilege of answering. WOODWARD'S RULES—O. C. City. You have been ‘correctly informed as to the rules of the late R. B. Woodward, he who founded Woodward’'s Gardens, as to the conduct of the What Cheer House, ‘which he opened in this city in 1852. First, he gave no man credit for room, or board. If a party came to Mr. Woodward and told him that he was broke and wanted a meal or a bed on credit he would refuse him, but would call him to one side and give him, if he appeared to be a deserv- ing person, 50 cents and tell him to go somewhere else for a meal or a bed, as the case may be. The second rule was that no liquors should be sold on the premises, and the third was the rule which prohibited the entrance of women in the What Cheer under any circum- stances. No man, however high his sta- tion, could get a room there for his wife. The rule was extended to apply to all employes, and during the time he was in charge there never was a female employe or servant in the premises. | GOSSIP FROM LONDON WORLD OF LETTERS ———— ‘With the autumn publishing announce- ments out it is easy to anticipate a busy season. The difficult thing is to say whether it will be a prosperous one or not. Booksellers, from what I can gather, seem rather more sanguine than they were a vear ago. They point to the fact that the theaters have begun well. This is valways a good sign, they say, and they add that the book trade has improved con- siderably since the beginning of Septem- ber. The publishers’' programme, if it prom- ises nothing of surpassing importance, is of average interest as a whole, and it sometimes happens, as in the case of “An Englishwoman's Love Letters,” the suc- cess of the season lurks in a book which has passed unnoticed in the announce- ments. That is the way of the book trade. Biography and autobiography again take the lion's share in the leading an- nouncements. The list is especially strong in literary biographies, including Andrew Lang’s “Alfred Tennyson,” which Messrs. Black- wood have nearly ready in their ‘“Modern English Writers" series. Graham Balfour’s “Life of Robert Louis ¢ in two volumes, is to come from Mes: Methuen. “Jane Austen,” by Constance Hill, a guinea book, with il- lustrations, will be published by John Lane, and an essay on Walt Whitman, with a selection from his writings by BEd- mund Holmes, is also promised by the same house. The “Life of Tolstoi,” by Dr. E. J. Dil- lon, is to be published by Messrs. Hodder & Stoughton, while Messrs. Sands will send out “Gabriel Rossetti,” W. M. Ros- setti’s translation of his father's versified autobiography. Fiction reigns supreme as ever so far as quantity is concerned. One or two records have been estab- lished in the matter of first editions. Hall Caine’s 100,000 was the biggest send-. off a novel ever had. I believe at least 75,000 copies of these have already been sold. Some people =zre wondering if the American system of selling books is being introduced into this country. A well known publisher who has earned a reputation for push is advertising in papers of the drapery trade. He anxlous to quote special terms to drapers who have or who would like to start book departments. Up to the present publishers have very generally ignored the draper-bookseiler, but there are many signs that he is to be extensively catered for in future. The ordinfiry booksellers seem about. to raise a cry, for they know how the open- ing of the book departments in the large stores of America has damaged the trade of the old fashioned booksellers. Still they come! I have just heard that the first number of a new literary and political weekly, to be called Survey of the Week, will appear toward the end of this month. The paper, I am told, is backed by sev- eral well known Liberal Imperialists, while a late member of the Speaker’s staff will be responsible for the editorial ar- rangements. I referred the other day to the new novel upon which Jerome K. Jerome is at present engaged. I am now told it is to be the longest and most important piece of work he has yet attempted, which is saying a great deal. PERSONAL MENTION. Jesse Poundstone of Grimes is a guest at the Grand. ‘W. F. Roberts, an oil man of Selma, iIs a guest at the Lick. John E. Beale, a well known resident of Santa Barbara, is at the Palace. Judge E. C. Hart came down from Sac- ramento yesterday and is at the Palace. E. O. Miller, a prominent oil man of Visalia, is among the arrivals at the Pal- ace, Alberto R. Elias, Consul for Peru at Hongkong, is at the Ocecidental, accom- panied by his wife. A Mrs. J. N. Dolph, widow of the late Senator Dolph of Oregon, arrived from Portland yesterday and is at the Palace. James J. Atkins, an extensive stationery manufacturer of Pittsfleld, Mass., is in the city and has made the Lick his head- quarters. J. Leszynski, a banker of New York, who is in the habit of spending the winter months in California, arrived here yester- day and is staying at the Palace. Irving B. Dudley, a2 former resident of San Diego and United States Minister to Peru, arrived here yesterday on a short vacation. He is.at the Occidental. . W. P. Dunham, a mining man who has valuable properties .in Colorado, arrived here yesterday, en route to his home in Los Angeles. He is at the Palace. S. H. Mallory, president of the First Na- tional Bank of Chariton, Iowa, who was a lay delegate to the recent Episcopal convention in this city, departed for his hcme last evening, accompanied wife and daughter, Mrs. J. ];. Thmbyr. ey A CHANCE TO SMILE. “Joe, you are rude—T'll never put foot in your office again.” “Oh, yes, you will; you’ll come in again late some evening when I'm just hurry- ing off to try and catch my trgin.””—Chi- cago Record-Herald. Little Mickey—Oi saw Hop Pung, the laundryman, radin’ a Choinase book jist now. Instid av doin’ loike a whoite man, shure, he begins at the back an’ rades up- ward. McLubberty—Begorra! is the peor divil lift-harded or cross-eyed, oF phwat?— Leslie’s Weekly. “The grind of going over examination papers,” said the principal of a downtown hool yesterday, “has its compensation if one has a sense of humor. Some of the answers are stupidly funny, while others are unconsciously witty. One of the ques- tions in the papers I went over this morn- ing was: ‘Name some of the causes of dyspepsia.’ One boy’s answer was: ‘Eat- ing green apples and drinking beer be- tween meals.” Another answered: ‘Drink- ing ice water and after dinner speaking.’ Isn't that delicious? A third boy said dyspepsia was caused by going in swim- ming on an empty stomach, Another question was: ‘Name some of the vital organs of the human body.” One answer was: ‘Heart, liver, lungs and lights. These are the eternal organs.’ "—Philadel- phia Record. He—I see a new family has moved in next door. She—Yes, they moved in to-day. He—What sort of furniture have they? She—1 didn’t notice. He—Goodness, dea Have you been sick?- What's the matter? Philadelphia Press. cousin “The: docto “You bet he is! I swallowed a nickel the other day and he made me cough up two dollars.’—Topeka Capital. is a wonderful say my The smart, clean, well dressed boy gazed longingly at the gutter urchins, with their damp bundles of newspapers and matches. This activity and independence had an un- speakable charm for him, and after a se- vere inward struggle he left his doorway and sought one of the muddy little news agents. “Do you think,” he asked, “that I should be able to earn money as you do if I bought some papers and came to this corner to sell them? p: “What does the likes o’ you want sellin’ papers?” “TI'm tired of being idle at home. “Well,” said the newsboy, seriously; “@'yer think you can 'old a quire o’ papers in one 'and, race like Persimmon, lick three or four boys bigger'n yourself with one hand, while yer keeps two more orf with yer feet, while yer takes a toff's ha’'penny, an’ yells ‘football” all the time?” “No-o, I don’t,” replied the well dressed little boy. “Then yer no good in the news agency biz,” said the ragged boy. “You'd better git yer people to 'prentice yer to some- thing easy.”—Tit Bits. A gentleman recently met a Harvard graduate of last June. “How goes it, Harry?"" said he. “Oh, things are booming,” replied the young man, cheerfully. “I don’t get any pay yet, but I'm probably the best oiler of machinery in New England.”—Boston Christian Register. It so happened that the telephone girls finally were organized into a labor union. “Give me 16 double 5 in a hurry,” said the subscriber. “Pardon me,” replied ";}5’" at central, “but have you a union card?” “Certainly,” answered the subscriber. “In a union affiliated with the Federa- tion of Labor?” ‘“Yes, yes, of course. Hurry up, can't Dues all paid up?” persisted the girl. 'Yes.” “Well, give me the number of your union card, and as soon as I can have your assertions verified I shall be glad to make the necessary connections for you.” —Chicago Post. ‘Walnut and Pecan Panoche. Townsend. * —_—— Cholce candies. Townsend's, Palace Hotel® —_——— Cal. Glace fruit 50c per Ib at Townsend's.® —_——— Drunkenness and all drug habits cured at Willow Bark Sanitarium, 1839 Polk. * —————— Towrsend's California glace fruits, 50c a pound, in flro-etchg? boxes or Jap. bas- kets. A nice present for Eastern &londs. 639 Market street, Palace Hotel building.* —_—— Special information supplied daily to business houses and public men by the Press Clipping Bureau (Allen’s), 510 Mont- gomery street. Telephone Main' 1042. ———— ‘Women_in the Philippines, at least in the island of Luzon, are showing wonder- ful skill as lapidaries and gem setters. Their taste and workmanship are far in advance of the powers of men. —_————— SUMMER RATES at Hotel del Coromado. Corcnado Beach, Cal.. effective after April 15: $80 for round trip, including 15 days at Hooi. Pacific Cqast S. S. Co.. 4 New Montgomery ¥ ‘7 Y