The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, September 29, 1901, Page 5

THE SUNDAY CALL Takes fCopyrighted, 1901, by B. 5. McClure Com- pany.) ing t alk it ¢ “They are nothing i a Good strong w h e when be Got to feeling of it “When get ¥ T i r g can Change ke t Alter. 1 where were ver) h alike e that seem gs wis are a what makes “I been Think paw Told her, “and it Seems to me We Ot to see the ex- posishen on Account of the boys. It's elmost as G 2 Collidge edyoucashen for & Boy to see a nexposishen like That, and they mite . have anuther Chance to g ything of the kind again. We can Go to Aunt Lizzie's becoz she’s been trying u a1 have get us to visit her for it'll tickle her Half swoop Down on Tell ay a week or two.” a Long time, nc to Deth to us Al ber Sum morning and her we've msey looked at it the same as paw, and sed er Reason why we ot to go was that e Albert and the baby could travel for nothing. As 800n as maw that out it was all over but the packing up. Paw says he never Saw a woman yet that woul Good price to gei Sumthing for pothing, speshully from a Raliroad, and the next day he went for the ticke “I've come back to prepair for the ex- aminati paw sed. "I passed for the Sivvie Bervice once, but that's nothing Like when you Haft to buy a cut rate Ticket. First the agent says ““Do you have fits, and if not how offe “Then he makes you tell how old you are, where your ansestors come from, {f you can repeat the constitution of the Younited States backward, and if you ever got arrested for porch clim thing like that They told bim at the ticket offus the Rest of us would Haft to come and Get identified Before he could buy Tickets for us, and when they Had us all Stood up Front of the windo the man made us sine our Names and Then he Looked maw Over and punched a place where it Sed she was Btout and Feemall, and She had to Take off her vall so he could see the Color of ug or enny- her Hatr and Eyes and whether she Be- Jonged to the white race or Was a Chi- nee. After while she Got her ticket and it was About as Long as from here down to the next Corner and Back. Paw took it and Commenct reading it while Uncle Ramsey was getting examined, “Maw,” paw sed when he saw what would Happen to us if we Didn’'t do every- thing menshund on the Ticket, “it Seems to Be a crimmu offense for a purson to want to pay munny to ride on this Line, and they are a Lot of things here to Show that you are a Suspishus character trying' to escape from Just retribewshun. If you wns when the Tare off one of These coOpp: conduckter's back is turned they mite JES Family To Buffalo- Their Experience with The Ticket Agent. TTAERES YSUR TIKET send you to the penitensherry and If you Don't rush Rite up to their agent when you Get to the other End and Give him what you Have Left of the ticket, to keep till SBeven minutes Before you are ready to Btart home you Get put in the Eleck- trick chair becoz they Don't hang peeple in New York enny more.” s Maw was Getting nervous and Exsited while paw Told her how it was, and she Sed mebby it would be Best not to Go if they was Enny crime about it. “I don’t want to Do ennything that'll Bring disgrace on the Children,” she told him, “Becoz I've always led a Blaimless life in the past. Do you think they would Let us go at Large again if we let them Have the ticket now and Didn't ast for our munny Back?” “No,” paw anserd, They are no Escape.” By that time they Got thru with Uncle Ramsey and #t was paw’s_turn. “Are they enny Danger of a purson Get- ting put in Jail if He lost his Ticket?"” paw ast the agent. The man Told paw to Read the regula- shuns anf not keep people walting. ““Well, they are anutter thing I want to ro Before I go Enny farther,” paw sed. “If you put peepie’s pictures In the “the Die is Cast. AW got home the Other nite all Het up, and Sed the time Had come when he was going to Give up not Being happy becoz it was cheaper to get along without things, “I've been making sackrifices all my * he Told maw, “and now I'm going FEW YARDS OF IT oLT BET\'«/E@I?QT,‘ETEJBAHE‘Rg a rogue's gallery for paying their Geod munny to Ride on your blamed old lire I'm not Going*and you can do your worst.” & The agent went on punching holes Every few Inches up one Side of the Ticket and Down the other, and paw sed: “Still T beleave in Giving credit where credit's dew. You don't seem to make a purson Give bail for Coming in here to buy a ticket.” After while the man at the Windo says: “There's your ticket,”” and pushed a Few yards of it out between the Bars. Paw commenct to wind it up and Look at it to see if it was all rite, and pritty soon he Says: “Here you Didn't punch where it says whether my Hair is black or brown or light or gray.” “That's O. K.,” the Agent told Him, ‘“you haven't enny worth Menshuning.” Nothing worse happened till We were On the train. Then paw had to sign his name Becoz the Conduckter thot He was a suspishus character, and He forgot to cross & T. It was allmost faitle, only" he had his name printed on His Shirt." Uncle Ramsey sed it was the Lucklest thing in the world it Didn’t happen to maw. GEORGIE, to Be good to myself and see how it feels.” “It seems to me,” maw anserd, ‘‘that you've had about as many of the Com- forts of life as Ennybuddy else in the Fambly.” “Oh, I have, have I?” paw sed. “That's about as much credit as a person Ever gets for not Being selfish and thare's where I say it's foolish for a buddy to Deny themselves, becoz the ones that Get the Penefit think after they're used to it and you want to quit for a little while that they've only Been getting what was Comirg to Them and you're ronging them by not.keeping rite on Being a marter. Hundreds of times I mite of Gone out at nite with the Boys and blew 1n munny for if 1 wouldn't of thot of you the Children here at home needing things you couldn’t have if I spent the cash for own pleasure. *Weil,” maw tod Him, *‘didn’t you al- ways feel Better After doing sumthing uf That kind than you would if you'd gone Out and Been a Fool? “1 don't no,” paw sed, “Becoz I never had a chance to gee how a4 man Ieels when he's been out being a fool. But that’s not the point, Here I've been work- ing away For years trying to fix it so our children could have as Much as Enny- buddy else’s and Getting along without things so you Could put on as Manny new clothes as the nabers when you Went to Church.” “But didn't it Ever make you glad To think your loved ones had just as much as other peeple?” Maw ast. “Ot cour paw ansered, “it made me Kind of proud of rmyselt sumtimes, but th $ not—"' ““Then you Can't call it denying yourself wher it mdkes You happy,” maw told him, “and it makes me glad to thnk you are So nobull.” Paw wouldn't Get to looking plazzunt, nd after while he sed: nat's all rite, But the worm's going to 1 rite here “Paw,” maw ast, getting kind of pai:, “'are you going down Town to meet Enny- buddy to {3 . “but I Bot a 1ot of wire ng to Fix up yhere I [ a place on the Roof of the p: can Get out and sleep These hot nites without Getting the prickly heat or Lel- ting the muskeetos have Fun with m The next Afternoon he got a ¢ from the oftus e home to fix up the new skeer nawful hot uay, But paw was Full of Enthuzzie Azzum and places where He got bit, so he Didn't seem to Miné it Mich.Except when he Tore his Shurt on a nale and Pounded one Thum the Seckond time. Maw was stand- ing down in"the yard watching, and when paw put his thum in his mouth and neerly Lost his Ballants she sed: “Sumtimes it allmost seems foolish for peeple to suffer so Mutch for a Little En- (Copyrighted, 1901, by 8. 8. McClure Com- pany.) HEN me and the Folks got to Buffalo and went to Aunt Liz- zle's she sald she was Offle glad to see us, and if it wouldn't of Been that Her house was all tull we would of Had to stay rite there, but she new of a Good place over on the next street where they had Home cooking und only Three beds in a Room. Paw ‘elegraft for more Munny when he Found >ut Aunt Lizzie wasn't at Home to visit- urs, and after we Had our seckond meal ’f Home cooking paw sald it was about *he Homellest he ever saw, but he liked it Jetter after he took us to Old Nurnberg wor a Meal and Had to get balled out by a ‘rend. When we Got out to the exposition the first day paw stood and Looked at the Bildings awhile and sed they were Grand, .and then ast a man which was the neare est road to the Midway, “Why do you want to hurry off to the Midway?’ maw ast him. “I thot you wanted to Bring the boys here and Let them see the Exposition becoz it's as good as a Collldge edyoucashun."” T no I sed s0,” paw anserd, “‘and You and the Boys can go in and Look at the buggles and machinery and Groceries and Things llke that if you want to, but it seems to me that After a purson looks at the Bildings of a nexposishun till he kants to do Sumthing else he Better make a Brake for the Midway." About that time Mr. Bolles of the Press bewro came running down tords us all out “D%-Breth trying to Get away from a fello that wanted a pass becoz his second cuz- zin runs a weekly. paper in Sleepy Eye Minnesota. “Izzent this great?’ he says to paw at he waved his Hand around to show How the Bildings were Grouped and the Grounds Laid out. “Just think of a man Sitting down with a plece of paper Bee fore him ‘and planning a Thing like this with the whole seen Looming up in his immaginashen. Its greater Than enny poem you Ever red.” “1 no it,” paw anserd; “it's Grand and which is the shortest cut to the Mid- way?” Maw saw it wouldn't be Enny use try- ing to keep him back, so we all went along, and when we got down where they were Tooting horns and pounding Drums in front of meerly every show we found out why hardly ennybuddy was at the Court of Fountains looking at the Grand site. The crowd was on the Midway lis- sening to Every Barker Hollering with all His mite That they had the worst Hootchey Kootchey dance on Erth rite inside, and Ladles and children could go "thing, ARND TAE FAMILY AT TAE BXPOSITION. joyment that half the want after they get it.”, Paw ran one Finger across His forrid and Flung a Fingerful of swet down to wet the Lawn. Then he sed: “If it doesn’t make you Happy to stand Out there in the sun and watch Other peeple that are Trying to do Their best leading Blameless lives you mite Go in the house and try to Think about sume thing else. The trouble with you is you never Look below the Surface. You think- I'm doing this just for a Little selfish pleasure, but that's where you rong me. What does it mean to sleep well at nite? It means greater powers for work and a kind disposishun the next day. Wha's to Get the benefits? Me? No. If T can do: Better work after I slecep out here in peace at nite you share the results, That's where a filosofer can see things that Other people never notus. Filosofy’s in Every- thing if peeple no How to find it. There's fillosofy in a locomotive, there's filosofy in a pound of crackers and there's filosofy in a tack hammer. Confound that blame Ennyway; 1 bleeve sumbuddy greased | He bad hit his Thum again, and Threw tr mmer as Far as he could down the street. Then he leaned up agaimst one of the nosts he Had nailed to the Side of the House, and Groned and Looked to see whether the nale was Going to come off or Not. . After while little albert and me found the Hammer and paw Went on Working, and the Captur, came over from next Door to ¢2¢ what was Going on. “Why didn't you Hire a Carpenter to me they don't do he ast. \Why?' paw answered. “Don’t you like the way I'm dolng 1t?” “You're making a ptitty falr Job," the captun sed, “but the Ware and Tair on our nerves und clothes ot to be worth sumthing, and Have you Ennything in the house that's good to take for Gotting sunstruck?” Paw refused to take Enny more Notug, and along Tords dark he Got thru and We bLelned him in the House. After he wus rubbed Down mayw got him to let her put salve and things on the raw places, While she was bizzy dolng that it com- menet to thun and Blow, and in a Few minutes Uncle sey came in and sed he wouldn't be sadrised if it was a cyclone. “Ofice when T w in the Ar ' he sed, “they was ¥ storm came up just Like thig, and the first thing we new—" fore he could say Enny more they terrible roar and the Lightning and maw ran to put down the When she got to the Front of ke sed: sakes, paw, R was flastred windaws. the house “Merey cage After the storm was over we found part of the netting and some of the frame hanging on an Elecktrick lite pole at the next Corner. . Maw told paw not to mind it. becoz he was so . crippled up he wouldn't dare to sleep outside Enny way, but He told h to Get the which hazel bottle and tawk so mugh becoz it Hurt his drums, there goes your ear GEORGIE. If they were pure-minded becoz to the pure all Things are Innosent. “That's all rite,” paw sed, “But I gess I better go First and see. It's never safe to Run enny risks in a Case Like this.” Before maw could say ennything the nearest Barker commenct to make an- uther speech. He sed a Delegashun ot doctors were Out & few days Before to see a speshul performance and pro- nounced it a wonderfull scientiffick ex- abishen. “It's a grate thing to Be a doctor some- time: paw sed. “They always get In- vited to ihese speshul performances, and "3 JUST N© IN SOME OF THSE ‘ ' LACE _\WKKED PLACES PA w RAN ONE FINGER ACRSS RIS FORRID AND FLUNG A FINGERFUL OF SWET DSWN T0 WET THE LAWN YQUVE BEey I notus trey hardly ever are Too bizzy with the Ded and dying to Go.” After awhile we Got started on a Trip to the moon, and it was so dark Going up that maw Grabbed paw's hand and Held on Tite.' She thot it was paw's hand, \but paw Got parted from us rite at the while maw would squeeze the other man's bahd avd say she was scared nearly to He after while wken the ship Landed on the Moon rt some way, and Every lttle Deth. only whispered, and they turned on the Lite. Then maw gave Fell oftn one of The a yell ap@ nearly craters. While the exsite :nt was Going on the man got away, and paw must of Followed him or sumthing, becoz he was missicg oo, Maw wanted to hurry bacik to the Erth, but Uncle Ramsey sed it miten't turn out for the Best If she did, $0 we went on seeing things, and Every little vwhile maw would wonder where paw was. We found him in the Orlental villedge after while, watching people ride the cammles, and maw sed to him: “Paw, I just no you've been in some of those wicked “Yes," we wou ces." ‘0l her, ** I have. S'posing of gone back Home and I hadn't seen all They was to be seen when people ast me About How could I look them In the face and say all I saw was the outside of the Blldings? That's no way to encuridge a Great enterprise like this." “Well,” Uncle Ramsey ast, beginning to jingle a few quarters in His pocket, “how are they, enny way?" “The thing I notust most about them,™ paw sed, “ls that the next one’s never a Bit worse thafd the one just before it. Let's take the boys up to Bostock's and let them Lurn a little natcherl history. There’s nothing like a good anamul Sho for Wimmen and Children. “No,” maw told him, “I'm golng to every one of these horrable places, where you've been. They say there's nothing unfit For the pure-minded Inside, and I want to see.” Then they Brot out some of the old Ladies that weve Going to do the Mussul dance and Introduced them to the crowd. “Paw,” maw sed, “did you Go in there and see those wimmen dance?” “Yes,” paw told her, neerly weaping, “but they got me ata Disadvantage. They aldn’t bring them outside before the per- formance the other time, so when 1 saw them it was too late. I had pald my munny.” ‘When we got back to the Bording-house vome of the folks there Got to talking to us About the site we saw, and when they Herd that paw had Been through neerly every place on the Midway, they got oftully interested, and a Lady from Since Anati ast: “What was the worst thing you found in the Midway, Mister Moffett?" “Well," paw sed, after he thot & min- ute or 50, “I guess it was the Grammar of the Barkers." FEORGIR. AW