The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, March 3, 1901, Page 9

Page views left: 0

You have reached the hourly page view limit. Unlock higher limit to our entire archive!

Subscribers enjoy higher page view limit, downloads, and exclusive features.

Text content (automatically generated)

THE SUNDAY CA-L. (Copyright, 1901, by €. B. Lewis) had enough of her around this house”™ % BOwiEE salk He Mre. Bowser knew that act No. 2 was had suspacted it fortweer thres ;‘;";‘:; :::':2 "":h"" REND ‘“’;‘ . 1 to stle and got up an ety t.hnla :z'““ :“:: walked into the hall, but as soon as out newspaper, he was dead sure of - 01 UeT Sight he kicked . o A Goe 85 S s Sl GG his Jaw.- When he ret . ¢ o e figentrn ey but rémarked thet Aguin: s e m:. et "‘“*mm_ captured yet and that it was mighty sin- Surr Samie S5 et SelV -mflml m. boi, gular weather for that time of year. He - would Qisappear in an Bour or two. dolag his bist, even tg smiling at . Fed by bis office boy if he didne B9, Cal: to make himeelf belfeve that old h thache he warsed that lad that | pocs lmay - ot wern L DIE i ket Bivy t9 ; : 4 bean when f§e jum ¥ would cause his discharge, hit him again. Up went his hands nn: ¢ ergu‘e;:h:l:r;u:m up went his feot, and he groaned out a e cribos oo | * sort.of death cry. The cat chuckled and - Mrs. Bowser exclalmed: 'What on earth 1s°the matter with you You det as if you had the hadn’t been I respect \on't presume 100 have toqth- s just -a slight attack of tooth- ache,” he replied, with a ghastly smile; “got my bIg toe; damp the. other rainy v, I guees. -It -‘won't amount to a row %, however."” If 1t does, youwll g0 to the dentist's in the morning, of course?”’ ; “Of course. You don't suppase I'm the wser for thres SOTt of man to suffer afound wiw. the s the “jump" toothache for six or seven years, do you?" struck him he uttered a grosn Mr. Bowser's volce had no weight in it and clapped his hand to his jaw, and the and his face was pale, but he had made a town in up his. mind to bluff the toothache and Bowser in additlon. The {dea of go- Ing to the dentist worked tee-cold Mrs mtre » and down his s ) his toes crack, and he was s 2 termined to die fi He sneake w dnd that he parlor and tried “laying on of the pepper sauce on his jaw, but it was no go. He went ard sat.-down on the swmirs and tried Christian Science, but the sinful tooth got in an exira jump on him. He prayed ©0fily 10" himself,.anu he cursed in louder tonés and kicked at his own feet, but to do when I h there was no pandcea. By and by he wan- otker ache. dered-into the sitting-room and remarked cat looking at? I've ‘that he gucssed he'd go to bed and catch hat you had the observed. . *If Kk you wiy che or argued the Old Groceryman, “T the other day that the n't square.” * crled the Bad the duty of to square them spectator s the policeman It is a sort of for that purpose " ; remember just the R AT TR TG S ‘HELP name of that buflding.” And the old man looked ashamed of his own ignorance “The Metrovolitan Museum of Art, wered the Bad Boy. So it 1s!" exclaimed the old man, and he tried to look as if the w known fact had only slipped his memo:y for a moment. “I remember now, per- * sald the Bad Boy, “they call it the Museum of Art because It is real the temple of the manly art in this 1t's deccrated and fixed up fh beautiful shape and it's one of ‘the sights of the city. “When 1s the fight?" asked the old man as he rubbed his hands together in gleetul e el e ) 1y SHOUTED THE OLD MAN anticipation. “This afternoon at 4 o'clock sharp,” d the Bad Boy. ‘““We must start up- town in a few minutes if we want to get there on time."” “Who s it that fights?” asked the Old Groceryman, squaring off in a pugilistic attitude before the mirror. “Why, Jeftries and Corbett, of course,” retorted the Bad Bad. I guess you don’t read the papers very closely, do you? They have been full of the subject for weeks. Jeffrles and Corbett fight fifty rounds for the feather-weight champlon- ship of Central Park. Recorder Goff is the referee and old Dr. Munyon holds the watch on them, Maybe you've seen a ple- A VILEAT ture of him dotng it\ “I havel lots of times!" cried the old man. 9 ““And,” pursued the Bad Boy, “Corbett’s leconds are Fitzsimmons and Mayor Van Nyck, while John L. Suliivan and Dr. Parkhurst will - be in Jeffries’ corner. Come now, we must put - a move om or we'll be late.” Emerging into the street they halled a passing hansom, and the Old Groceryman, still In & daze of excitement, scrambled In, assisted by the Bad Boy. They drove out of Broadway into Fifth rvente and were half way to Central Park when the Old Groceryman suddenly came Qut of his abstraction with a yell that caused half a blockful of fashionable New Yorkers to stop and turn around. *What on earth alls you?’ queried the Bad Boy as the Old Groceryman strug- gled to his feet and leaned far over the apron of the hansom and grabbed vainly at the distant reins. shouted the old man. *“Here, boy, we're being run away with!™ “The horse is barely off a walk,”™ con- tradicted the Bad Boy, “your wheels have gotten queered.” “They ain't!” screamed the scared old man. “The hoss is* going all by hitmself and he's llable to run into something and epill us ajl over the street. The driver's fell off his seat.” “No he hasn't,” pald the Bad Boy sooth- ingly. “He's all right.” “He ain’t! He's fell off! He's disap- peared, and as like as not he’s been crushed to pleces under the wheels.” “Sit still and shut up,” whispered the Bad Boy, again pulling his old friend back on the cushions. “The driver's on his box, all right.” ““Where is he, then?’ clamored the Old Groceryman. “Show him to me. He's fell off, I téll you, and he’s took the seat with him.” The Bad Boy, remembering that this was his friend’s first experience in a han- gom, spent five minutes in explaining to him that the driver could not be seen be- cause he sat behind them; but it was not until the Bad Boy lllustrated his meaning by pointing out at least half a dozen simi- lar vehicles with drivers posted behind the passengers that .the Old Groceryman began to see that he had betrayed his owa ignorance once mors. The old man sank -back in one corne= of the cab and sit there in-a. shame- faced silence until they drew up in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. “I thought from the sounds inside the cab that you'd made a mistake in the address and wanted me to drive you up to Bloomingdale;”” observed the driver as he received his pay and gazed derisively at.the frate old man. “I'm P. T. Barnum,” stammered tha latter, “and T was just showing my young friend® here how some of my lions: holle:s when they're hungry. That was the nicise you héard.” And. he scrambled up . the Museum steps bafore the -cabman coull reply, -followed by the Bad Boy. They entered the Museum and turned to the right into the first corridor, “There’s :a policeman!” whispered .the old man. “Shall we give him the “Yes,"” answered the Bad Boy. . “glve it to him if you like; only do it tactfully, and say nothing about the fight.” The Old Grocéeryman approached the policeman on duty, and. sald mysteri- c friend, u are theiliving Image of my long-lost mother-in-law. In token of which same kindly accept this $ wita my love. Not ‘a word, now. I under- stand!" The policeman pocketed the $ with a erin and the old man came back to the Bad oot 2 4\ i o i up. his sleep. - Mrs. Bowser noticed how he suffered shé acquiesced, but . she didn’t express a word of pity. She had had elght or ten teeth filled or extracted, and on-each and eve n Mr. -Bowser had ridiculed her lamentations and ‘made sport of her tears. Only a month pre- viously, when she had had the toothachs for five minutes, he had heartlessly of- fered to pull it with a-pair of fire tomgs and had wanted to kill the nerve with a red hot poker. There was but Httle sleep for Mr. Bow- ser that night. He wanted to kick and groan and curse, but he thought of for- ceps. He wanted Mrs.. Bowser .to get up. and apply hot hops, hot salt, vinégar, mustard or something else, but- the den- tist seemed to be looking at him with a cold, cruel glare. When mornimg came he had a lump on his jaw, the fires of desperation in his eyes and a scared féel- ing clear down to his toes. . He couldn't eat a mouthful of breakfast, and- he said nothing of going to the office. Mrs. Baw- ser sat down with a good appetite and took ten minutes longer than usual to satisfy it, and when she rose up she said: “You have got the toothache and we will go to the dentist.” “It's g-gone!” he whispered in reply as he pointed to his jaw. “We are going,” she curtly centiniied, and she put his hat on his head and his evercoat on his back. He hung on to the halltree and the door, but she made ready, and he had to follow. Unseen by either; the cat fol- lowed at their heels, and after a walk of two blocks they arrived at the dentist's. Mr. Bowser would have run away, but Mrs, Bowser took his hand and led him up the walk and into the house. The dentist was at home, and there was an inexorable look on his face. One glance at it satisflied Mr. Bowser that he.could expect no mercy, but he stammered out: “I—1 was just fooling! I haven't got any tootbach- " occ “It's all right,” he sald, “T've fixed him. And now let's frequent that fizhr. Say,” he added, as two toddling children entered, tollowed by their nurse they don’t let kids ltke fight, do they “Oh, no, not as a ruls,” answerad the Bad Boy. “There’s always a sign un. ‘Children tn Arms Not those are Jeffries’ two little and they always try to be present to ses their papa win. It's very pathetic, lsn't 1t*" and the Bad Boy stified an emotion that may have been tearful. They entered the Wolfe gallery of paint- ings. “Qay!™ gasped the OId Groceryman, “they fix up these places fine, dom't they? T'll bet them plctures must have cost in all pretty near $100. “A hundred dollars!” echoed the Bad Boy. “Well, of courss, T mean frames and all,” the old man hastened to add, fearful lest he might have exhibited ignorance by naming so extravagant & som. As they wandersd om toward the stat- wary hall the Old Grocerymsn peinted suddenly to a number of muddy foot- prints on the marble fleor. “I'll bet that's the fectwork I've read about their having at prizefights!™ he cried exultantly. “You're right,” replied the Bad Boy. “That's Corbett’s wonderful footwork, to As the old man leaned over to follow his example the Bad Boy dextrously joggied bis old friend's spectacles, which fell ta the floor and broke. “There!” exclaimed the O1d Grocery- man, “my fun's spofit. I ean’t only ses very aimly without glasses. How'l ever see the fight?™ “Don’t you worry,” counseled the Bad Boy. *“Well try to stand near emough to — They turned into the statuary hall and found an art class standing before the celebrated group kmown as “The Greek Boxers." “Gee!" yelled the Old Groceryman, el- bowing his way into the crowd, “th fight's on. Which s Jeff? Soak ‘em, old chap! Uppercut him! Hock it to him Two to one on Corbett! Now, them, push him over and trample on him!™ And to tl old man's dimmed vision the animated statues seemed at that dis- tance to be intensely real, and he feit the wild exhileration of an actual p fight. “1 must get nearer to that,” he went on in a treble scresch. “Out of my way there!” And he pushed the panic-stricken art class right and left in his mad a tempts to galn the ringside, all the shrieking encouragement to the fight and cheering them on to victory. The women In the art class fainted or fled, while the men, convinced they had to deal with a dangerous maniac, shrank away. The old man had almost reached the group of statuary when the policema whom he had “square@” grabded him carried him at arm’s length to the out entrance. “If It wasn't for that $5 you t me,”" whispered the biuecoat, you to'the station house. Now, clear before I play tunes on you with my night stick.” “Pity the police broke up the fight,” consoled the Bad Boy as he joined the excited old man. It was the best I ever saw.” W mused the Old Groceryman, “it wouldn't have lasted much longe anyhow. Corbett Jeft ¥ licked. He was s one could see that.” CASE OF TOOTHACHE AND THE DENTIST -- “Get into the chair!” commanded the @entist with a murderous look In his eyes. “It must come out! sald Mrs. Bowser as unfeelingly as if referring to a peg In a board. Mr. Bowser uttered a groan a yard long and feebly climbed Into the operating chalr. “Open your mouth and bite on this rub- ber!” It's all gone—all gone!" o wonder your tooth aches. Her & hole big enough for a rabbit to hide fn. Mr.: Bowser looked at Mrs. Bowser and tried to make her erstand that he ‘wanted the cavity a with soft fillin bread crumbs or cotton or so g extra soft—but she simply said to the den« tist: “Pull it out!” “Oh, I'll yank it quick enough!™ replied the man of the forceps, and he made a pass, grabbed on-to something, and M Bowser felt the carth leave up and the heavens take.a P ere were tedrs fa his eyes as he hatded out. his dolfar and took the tooth as a souvenir, but had reached t Ik before he elated and exultant. He was also read to give Mrs. B a setback, and w she asked how.he feit he turned on her with all dignity and replied: “What! Are you and the - blamed. old cat here? . V ‘ve you beem? I had a tiny toothache, and as I didn’t want it bothering around I had it puiled. Easie thing in the w had been you, ference between a A singular battle wa 1y in an English aplar The bees made valiant sorties to try to drive away their besiegers, and the wasps made furfous -assaults to drive out the bees. ~The battle raged for two days, at the end of which the bees ted and the wasps took possession.

Other pages from this issue: