The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, February 10, 1901, Page 11

THE WIFE DESCRIBED IN THE BOOK OF PROVERBS Christian ork Herald, sh is he » in his s he caunot a s If my son . - 1 his wife . ¥ will probab week for the ossible for softened iled and well direct- and s It spect is pitifu TLEMAN AT HEART A GEN AND AN /SSURED INCOME girl W P ki our daugh- have the same re- & AR r I do not mean e m f nece g glous denom- th belong the loved, she they re both the asting Arms. 4 CHRISTIAN EVERY DAY IN THE YEAR BY MRS. FRANCIS E. CLARK. o8 icuit question to ask of nding the greater part 4L o in iraining up future h ds for other people’s daugh- I sent word to lege girls of my acquaini- t kinds of husbands , and with one voice they sseured me that they did mot want y husbands. That put a summary stop y investigations iR that direction, and juite took my breath away. But I do not belleve @ word of it. "I next appsaled to know wh an t w hey choos e REV. T. SPURGEQGN her household and a portion to her maid- ens.”” She is a woman, too, of large con business culty. id and buyeth it of h hands she pla: th er ¢ ile burns &all night 10ves nimbly to the touch ! ands. She is a downrigiit < ¢ business. Any fool who can a new hat, but can ma n old hat look he gitteth and he 1s known ss of his this gentie her mouth whiteness And what wisdom; = kindness nown of above re says Conc Y g her, t ly ne v ubt excelle but thou without ave thu 1 breast of the me In the choice My readers now know exac emphasis; I de- on of my heart, e kind of wife choose for my greatest son—if HEARTS AGREE NG AND GOD HELP.NG THEM NERAL O. 0. HOWARD, AVING set a proper example for f my son years before he.was bor:, 4 4 by making the choice of a wite of the right kind, he has now d a true model: he has had this e he was old e ugh o the boys an md and c with observe the gir's mes s near to the < he then and less he s u» ke ar Why not? <0 had a good mother she. too, h: ywn, for her-fu how very difficult the of a young man al- ngs of his mother intended as a means of grace, or mother to see what kind of a hua- Id have chosen for me. was once asked, to choose between 1 quick, bad tem- who made no pretensions relig t ho was equal in intelii- ture to the other 8! n was k ¥n to be v 1y hoose? Not a » thought my r answer she ry neither of them cnd everybody elss world. 1 it case 1 think I should to help the Christian to overcome his hot temper. If i were to choose the pleasant, wir eligious man, I should, by viol »wn religious con- victions and training, show him so incon sistent a « n haract myself tha* I could h hope ‘o draw him to my Savior, and 1 should very likely lose my own warmth and zeal in ( an duty.’ e the Lbat, t of all, my or mine for one whose . if he has ter. He quick~tempered or He must be weli educated, warm- sympathetic and amiable. He honor his Master by a cheerful choice should be, Christian talents , a truly and , are consec must not be morc man 1d proper ated to his 3 life selfish. hearted, should face.” Certainly then the man I would choose for my. daughter (if 1 were so fortunate us to have a daughter) must first of all be a istian, and he must not be one of the md of whom a little boy said, “Yes, na is a Christian, but he is not working at it much,” Nor must he be like that woman to whom her little daughter said, “Mam- I found your religion in your trunk,” aning her church letter. The man I 1ld choose must be an carnest Chris- tian, the kind of-a man who would be “working at it,” and the kind of a man who would not *keep his religion in his trunk.” If he moved to another town he would be the kind of a man who would be likely to take a letter 1o thatchurch, and for the time he lived there, would throw R e naming her ample! But this will not do. simplicity Trust the to find his through all the mazes of young He has a good thinking brain, a fairly susceptible heart, and in time wiil have experience ¢nough to enable him to doings as a bona fide ex- In my 1 would sav: boy own wa societ iaunch and sail his own ship. Oh, how full the world is of charming women! Where can you find falth, virtue, honor, self-denial, intelligence, industry, frugal- 1ty are never nounced than These qualitics and more pro- the soclal sphere of our Nowhere else do you rous health, more real & manners. and abiding affection? more apparent Americ aiscove But you aps, should your son consult t uld you advise? This is ce I, for one, would man age in such a matter to meddle as little as possible. Just think what a mess of it fath and mothers for that matter, have made of it, by injudicious and indis- creet advising ce is all right, if it great care and long before be given with any choice is dreamed of. As the twig 1s bent the tree is inclined. Now, [ think vou see how a noble tiful son may find woman, who pos- graces, and how, od helping them married life at- with a tended s and mother's blessing. x A QUEEN OF SILENCE AND QUEEN OF SPEECH H ¥ BISHOP JOHN VINCENT. 7 F I had a =on who needed a wife, and Il my words had vower to place In his 4 hand in holy covenant the hand of a woman answering 0 my ideal, these are the words 1 should write: A woman of intelligence, that he, at his wisest and best, mig gain- respect her; tng in‘culture and power with the passing that he might nol outgrow her; in- dent, that she might maintain her rights: self-controlled, that she might not be easily overruled; vivacious, that she might continue’ to laterest and inspire him: gracious agreeable in’social manners, that she ought help to make their home attractive to neople of taste and refihement; having a speclalty in art or literature, that she might continually augment her resources, expert as a covk in his Jot with that church and help to carry ite burdens. If b~ traveled, he would carry his religion with him. hall he be rich? No, I think I would rather not. I think [ would choose to have him acquire the strength that comes from “enduring hurdness,” rather than meet 1 temptations that come th riches. Shall ke then be poor? No, I do not think I choose thdt, for I want them to have at least one luxury, the luxury of giving, and it is so little that a very poor men can give, even if he gives a tenth, I think I would pray Agur's prayer for him ve him neither poverty nor riche Shall he be handsome? ~Why, ves, if 1 can choose he shall be “of a beautiful countenance and goodly to look to,” and tall; but remember that does not come. firs I have chosen first of all that he shall be an earnest Christian, and if he is that, the good looks will not hurt him, and he will certainly be morq pleasing and will have so much the more power to influence others. What shall his busipess be? Well, If I were to choose It for him, I think I -would rather he would he a missionary or a min- fster, that his whole life might be spent in helping other lives, like the parson in Jean Ingelow's poem, “'so anxious not to g0 to heaven alone.” But since he is to be an earnest Christian man, [ think I would rather he would choose his own cailing, fecling sure that he would help other lives whatever his dally work may be. L e SHOULD RESPECT . HIS WIFE'S MOTHER MARIETTA HOLLEY (AUNT SA- MANTHA.) T seems to me that the first quality a mother would desire in the man who BY H was to marry her daughter is good- ness; since wealth takes wings, and knowledge casts a rather cold light on tha bearthstone when shining {here alone. Bu: - ——— s e ——— O Co——— The Kind of Wife THE SUNDAY CALL. JOSEPH COoOX and caterer, that she might be able to direct her kitchen; genuinely sympathetic, that toward ‘“serva irls’” she might stand in the attitude of a friend. account- Ing them as home cre and not slave: and therefore with a delicate sense of ‘fit ne: viecting to the term ‘'servants. unless she applies the same term to her minister, merchants, doctor and banker; honoring true ard pure womanhood in every sphere of life where it seeks self- respect and cultivates great social aspir: tion. A woman might be fond of children, that she ad and proud to be a mother; ry, tact and Imgenuity, that she might both entertain and instruct her children. A woman fond of reading aloud, that might enrich the early years (and thus all the years of her children’s lives) with a taste rcr wledge of the n to detect native she nd a ure; defects In e dren, that she might be wise in devisings and equaily wise in a permanent silence conce 2 them. A woman steady in the observance of relizlous dutfes, that her teaching might never become perfunctory, and that all her well chosen and carefully uttered. words about religion might always have in them the force and fervor of profound conviction and of personal experience. A business woman, that she might sym- pathize with he nd’s responstbili- ties and anpreci obligations: eco- nomical and prude trainlkg her chil- dren to know the value of a penny In the service that earns it, the self-denial that saves i, and the wisdom that divides it in ks FRANCIS T.CLAR the man who will be good to his wife in sunshine and shade, in youth and age, i3 the one likeliest to make her happy. Bhe would demand good habits in the one who vowed to’ comfort and protect her daughter, lest the protector should change into a danger, the comforter into a disgrace. She would L:ke to have him a man who would sometimes give a kindly * thought to the woman who tbiled early and late to make the sweet wife he loves and admires what she 1s. And who pa- tiently stepped down and out of the heart and life where she had reigned supreme, leaving him ffrst and dearest. And she would greatly prefer that he should re- frain from making the mother-in-law joke. But if she be a sensible woman shs will not Insist upon this, but quietly efface herself as much as possible, remembering that this has been the mother's lot since first the sons of God looked upon the daughters of men and saw that they were exceedingly and wonderfully fair. And (t she can bring herself to love the intruder, as 80 many have, and re- ceive a loval affection in return, why so much the better; the incvitable then be? comes endurable. He shouid have cour- age, for there will be many Hons to pass on the wedded journey and he will ve I Should Choose For My Son.... I Shoula Choose For My Daughter GEN 0.0 HOWVAR useful expenditure and philanthropte oe- stowment, training alike to discrimina- tion, prudence and generosity. A woman devoted to the church, rever- encing and making delightful (if in a dif- ferent way from other days) the holy Sabbath, recognizing the pre-eminence of the Holy Bible over all other books, and building up into our civilization as far as her home can do it the noble Christlan elements which are the glory of the age and the Government in which we live, A woman free from affectations of every sort, scorning to appear what she is not, accounting bluntness as rudeness, and yet preferring bluntness to pretense A woman who is a Queen of Silence and a Queen of Speech; holding the golden scepter which lifted ensures the first, and dropping gives the blessing of the second; loving her home better than all other places on earth, making it a foretaste of the home eternal and sharing with other earthly homes the qualities of grace and peace which make her own so delightful, A woman beautiful with the personal charms which reality in character b stows: charms which make irregular fea tures and a plain face attractive, and which thought, love and unselfish devo- tion make radiant. Such is my ideal of the wife { should seek for my son, if my son were not aiready thoroughly satisfied, as is his father. RESPECT AND SUPREME AFFECTION THE BASIS BY JOSEPH COOK: HAT sort of a woman would I advise my son to marry? Just such a woman as I married m: self!. It might he, however, that my gon would not closely resemble my- self and in that case I should insist that his preferences ought to be different from his father's. But the supreme rule for marriage Is to make the basis of it only a supreme affection. This should be tested not only by love at first sight, but perhaps by years of acquaintance, many- sided, thorough and of cumulative effect in the growth of regard of the deathless kind. Will two souls grow apart from each other? This, with younger people, is a question that can be answered, it may be, by years of manifold experience. Let acquaintance be somewhat prolonged welg-ed down by the burden of love, the care of one dearer than himself, for this the mother inperativelv demanus that he must love her ‘daughter, she must be to him the one woman in the world, for love's torch is the brizhtest Ilght upon earth to light the wedded pair. He must have pa in abundance, a8 he will'marry a woman, and not a #aint. And, above all, he should be a Christlan, so he will- know where to get help and comfort and joy, and discern through the deepest shadows the Great Light that gilds his road, and can help her onward and upward. He should be industrious and have enough of this world's goods to insure his wife's comfort and prevent her hearing the baying of the wolf at her door, but pot rich necessarily, as the woman who marries for riches alone confronts the dire possibility of the riches flying away and pothing but the man remaining when all that made him attractive and worthy of affection is gone. . He should be passably good looking, since it would be pleasanter to look across the coffee urn three hundred mornings in a year and behold a comely visage. He must have good sense, but not be too brilllant, as a meteor would not give so good satisfaction for household® needs as a more mellow and steadler light. ——aee HEALTH, USEFULNESS AND EDUCATION BY HARRIET PRESCOTT SPOFFORD. HE only way in which with safety to all concerned a mother can help her daughter in the choice of a husband is when—having studled from birth the nature and needs of her daughter, and having confessed to herself that - marriage is the best and happiest state—she looks about her for one whose qualities are those that ghall insure the welfare and happiness of her child; and then quietly and discreetly, and without putting her k‘:, 11 WiLL R MooDY' ana engagement short between those who would not find a misieading reticence an ambush for surprises after marriage. But there are exceptions to even this rule, for Shakespeare says of two souls that were exquisitely matched: At the first glance they have changed eyes. If this exchange of eyes Is unforce taneous, permanent, it Is the 4 mons to marriage, and nothing else is equally authoritative within the holy of holles of the heart, early or late. Such a gummons usually comes man or woman but once in that brief gleam w we' call life. Health, beauty plishments are important, but respect and a supreme affection that will bear all tests are the indispensable and command- ing prerequisites of a happy marriage. The base of the pillar of a right ma riage must be confidence, respect, un- shaken as to the foundations of the world, but the superstructure must reach beyond the stars. to a accom- Thoroughly happy marriages are only those of which the shrewd instinct of human affection and passion has caused it to be proverbial to say that they were certainly made In heaven. But this is a holy mystery into which even the angels look and forever and always find it unfathomable. MUCH DEPENDS UPON DIs- POSITION AND OCCUPATION HAT can I say on such a theme? BY REV. DR. THOMAS SPURGEON. Why, bless his dear little heart, he Is ouly eight years of age, and it seems at present almost impossible to contemplate matrimony for him. What will my dear boy's disposition ripen into? What will be his calling in life? These and other questions must be answered ere I can discuss this matter to any purpc atsoever. by Should he become, in answer to many hopes, a minister of the gospel, he need such a one for partner as might not have been essential to him in another vo- cation. In any case, the matter is best In “The wife I should chooss Is the one he selects. Such ought to be for the best, for “A prudent wife is from the Lord.” R ) N e HARRIET P.SPOFFORD. purpose In evidence, brings the two to- gether,®conscious that propinquity is as potent as any other factor. Every mother has not only a right but a duty in rela- tion to a child's marriage. You often hiear a man of very moderate desert_ say that he requires in a wife virtue, birth, breeding, beauty, good nature, education, money and other superlative gifts; so why shall a mother be less demanding in bebalf of her daughter? It will then go without saying that this husband of a sweet and innocent and carefully reared ‘girl shall be -a satisfactory specimen of the race, manly, brave and good to look upon. That means that he will have good health; and having good health he will have good nature, and good nature is very necesgary to household happiness. If he loves his neighbor as himself he meets the chief requirement for the happiness of wite and family; for then he is ur selfish. The unselfish man is a natural Christian. Thus, on the whole, unselfish- ness is the first positive quality that I should require. For with unseifishness there will be that generosity which not only gives with an open hand but which 80 regards the feelings and wikhes of oth- ers as to make {ll temper and dark moods impossible. With unselflshness there will be self-restraint and sobriety arid honesty and fidelity. With unseifishness, again, will be purity—the safeguard of home. In addition to this unselfishness, whicr s at the root 6f most If not all of the virtues, 1 should like intellect in this supposititious husband of a daughter. I would like, moreover, that he should have education. But there is an education of circum- stances which surpasses that of books, that makes mere knowledge of Alsputable facts and technicalities seem small and trivial; and if he has that we will not miss the education of the university, desirable as that may be. Now, dear readér, ! must confess to you a secret—very probably an open se- cret if you have gone with me thus far, [ must confess to you.my dreadful poverty. T have no daughier for this matchless man. A COMPANION IN SORROW AS IN JOY BY “’Y-I.IV. R );(:fiDY. HE phraseology in which we speak of a person “falling in love” is sig- with thruptness . n this very For for another. happens that some sel- a on 1t usually of a father in su before ade. So it has for genera- 1 the « se is there= tha experience, be almost unique And yet there is probably ne deeision in ''s life, next to his relations to God, 13 the choice of a wise choice is to find Al thit needs strength; Al but most excep= disaster to the best men fave been made by a and, alas! many others have There 3 howe principles, cerned, which ential to a marriage. The t of these is t the sentimental eaprice of the but that experience that once can never be confused with any ¢ eit. Such a love that grows day ¥ W is gthened more in life's tr than oys. Second. it is essential t eal companionship that there should be community of interests, not sim not - 1's asures and knowl n 1 Interests of the o Should a son then ask my coun- sel on uestion, 1 would impress upon him these two 2 wise choice. T would urge him t for the companionship of one who would inspire Eim to his t rchievements, sympathize with his highest rations, rejoice in the things he loved; and la and most important of all, one who cou ter into the fellowship of his sorrows, for in the school ¢ souls are drawn closely t r in love and ¢ i One of the strangest ac ts which ever happened to the big guns of a bat~ tleship recently alarmed the gunners in the turret the English battleship Thunderer. Off Milford Haven a target was put out for practice with the ten-inch breechloading guns. When one was fired by electricity only a portion of the pro- jectile was discharged, the base the shot and a portion of the frame being left in the gun. When the plate was re- moved the pressure of gas forced a por- tion of the projectile from the breech of the gun. On the second gun being fired a hole about three inches in diameter was blown -through the projectile, the other part of the base plate being left behind. The base plate was in this case separated from the rest of the projectile. Such ac- cidents are believed never previously to have occurred on board any ship. There was mueh alarm among those in the tur- ret, as the bursting of the guns was for a time feared. It is suggested that either the powder in the projectiles was damp or there was water in the guns. So far as can be seen both guns are sound. @ittt b e i O LET THERE BE SFIRITUAL SYMPATHY BY COUNTESS SCHIMMELMANN. HAT kind of a husband shall I choose for my daughter? I would advise that both mother and daughter put this matter into the hands of God and let him choose for you; then and only then will your da happiness be secured. If carefully study our Bible we will see that In the ¢ of < ter's we beginning of tively and specially humanity God very posi- took the marriages 1 bel assuredly besn God's will all along, marriages should be formed spectal orders from God ve that it has tha except into his own hand no by such own choosing at the very best is shorte sighted and come two difficulties: human being, and especially a man wh goes out woolng, can disguise his Our mited and we cannot over- the one is that a acter; and the secqnd is, that characters actually do change under the fn ce of You might, for example, circumstances. choose a quiet, soft-minded husband for your daughter, and ten years later, after a wearylng, troublesome life, find that ha possessed an irritable nature: or in the character of an e young man good luck and the accumulation of wealth may destroy these qualities, and he turns out an apathetic, lazy and whol- ly good-for-nothing fellow. Now If a mother is perfectly sure that It the case of her daughter it is God's will that she should be married, she has not only the right, but it is her duty so far to care for the things of this world as to prevent her daughter from getting the wrong husband. The mother's duty should be rather limited to prevent wrong. than extended to choose for her daughter. How are we then to behave? First, live near to God and bring your daughter near to him; be led by him very speclaily in this matter. If you feel that she should marry, do not think of any but a Chris- tian husband. Yet not he that speaks best of Christianity, neither he who knows most of it, nor he that does most of it, will give you &s good a guaranty of happiness for your daughter as the one whose character and daily life are wit- nesses of his Christianity. it POLITE, PATIENT, CONSIDERATE AND LOVING - S BY MARGARET E. SANGSTER. energetie, act F I had a daughter in the sweet bloom ]I of her years, when a husband might loom up on the. horizon, far would be from me to choose for her in a mat- ter of such personal importance. Yet [ might ‘give advice, and I hope it would do it tactfully, * for much pre-matrimonial counsel defeats its own ends, confirms hesitation, and absolutely sends girls and men the opposite way from which the counsel warned them. Only on a solid foundation of ‘true love and real respect can she or can he hope to bulld an edifice that will last. They must choose for themselves. I would like to see my daughter marry a man whose mother had early trained him jn unseifishness at home. I would prefer a man who had as & boy lived witi sisters, two older and three younger per- haps, and walted on them all, and who had been -their escort, companion and triend.