The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 26, 1901, Page 7

THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 1901 ADVERTISEMENTS. * ABSOLUTE SECURITY. \ Genuine CARTER'S LITTLE LIVER PILLS must| bear signature of SEE GENUINE WRAPPER Purely Matinee To-BaviatZ p.m sharp MRS. FISKE BECKY SHAR e, any part ex A NEW BILL AND THE EEST EVER. SAM L oc,kfiAleT’ BABY ELEPHANTS COLUMBI HT_AND s MATINEE l"WA Y ey | DOWN | EAST.” NEXT MONDAY— LfiUIS JAMESa KATHRYN KIiDDER DEEAM o LEADING THEATRE AN WDSUMMER NIG!TS ~TIVOLIs T MEDY AND MUSICAL HIT E 8. MATINEE SATURDAY at 2. BY POPULAR PRICES Telephone- the A and 50 cents Bu MOROSCO’S GRANLC OPERA HOUSE MATINEES TO-DAY AND TO-MOR; LAST TWO NIGHTS. TR Mfl’fififffi %fis FLAME A served seat Bran MONDAY Greatest pH EATR SR MATINEES Tl)-DiY AND SUNDAY. LAST TWO NIGHTS The New York and London § SWEET LAVENDER NS NEW SCENERY. . Ze, e, Se. SEATS NOW SELLING. NEXT WEEBK- ““ALL THE COMFORTS OF HOME.” FOR HEADACHE. FOR DIZZINESS, FOR BILIDUSKESS, FOR TORPID LIVER, FOR CONSTIPATION. FOR SALLOW SKIR FOR THE COMPLEXIOR GENUINE wuar mave Vegetadtn, L it | >AY— | MASTEH" CHUTES aw ZOO*5 SPECIAL-~THIS AFTERNOON. JUVENILE PERFORMERS’ MATINEE. TO-NIGHT! Big Cakewalk Telephone for Beats, Park 23 THE SAN fRAIGISCfl JOCKEY CLUB, TANFORAN PARK—THIRD MEETING. January 2., to Saturday, February s, Inclusive. Monday, SIX OR MORE n,«*rx I-:Acs WEEK DAY. | Bix Stake Events, Three Hurdle Races and | Six Steeplechases. | FIRST R.CE OF THE DAY AT 2:10 P. M. Traine leave Third and Townsend streets for Tanforan Park st 7, 10 udlv m. ‘h-alnlle‘v Ban P - &t 4:15 p. m., followed after the ' ot | | e T e pany s With T MURRAY AND SEE GENUINE WRAPPER ymedy Success, nedluns and a bevy | music. New c and AFTERNOON—Seven hose Funny Fellows. Ard Their Big Company of 37 People, in SHOOT'NG THE CHUYZS." BEZASCO amo THAll‘S_‘fi C,NTMM Phone So THOROUGHLY ¥ PRICES » NEXT M TRE: | I; SamkeT 5% uth roduction. 5¢ and Sc | MACK | THREE MEN ARE WASHED FROM JIBBOOM AND ONE IS DROWNED Schooner Mary Buhne Is Caught in a Northwester and Captain Dannevig Is Compelled to Put Back to This Port in Distress. 3"'AR BOARDER‘ 50 | | | AN FRANCISCO'S FISChl‘_R S CONCERT HOUSE “a(v- ‘man | Anderson out to Llu m we s L:u'.a "Alma Wuthrleh, Hal rn and Patrick and Hinrichs Reserved Seats Matinee S SAME SHAPE TWO QUALITIES EVERY WOMAN is interested and st MARVEL SRR The new Vaginal Syringe. Tujectio about the wois LING | andl Sursiex. PILES Any one knows and knows have f’b—rwl a reward of $25 o any one with Piles who could | North, 2ox of Verus Plle Cure, bas claimed the reward. frer and will $50 who ca Our reco te for information. reighbor’'s testimonial. VEEUS PILE CURE (0., PALAGE and GRAND HOTELS, San Francisco. P A visi*r OR. JOR The Largest diseave pesi Cormltation Fusis Cers'n DRUG CO., Azt cess the that travelers appreciate —central liberal oy pointments ropean plans. Treument personaliy or by letter. A ite for Book, PHILOSO s AARRIAGE MaiLED P when cured. We for 4 years here pay uny one suffering ot be cured with Verus hows over 10,000 cured. | Perhaps we have your | Price §2, postpald. Room 226, Wilson Blk Fourth and These hotels pos- attributes tourists and location, manage- modern ap- an < erfect cuisine merican and Ea- ent, DD DAN’S caczar g MUSEUH OF ARATOMY MAREDT . Dat. G247, 5.8.0cl, Anatomical Museum in the World. ~Weaknersos or any contracted by cmred by the oldest Coast. Est. 36 yoars fren and strictly private. every case undertaken. NEY.8 LIVER BITT APLEASANT NOT INTO ERS LAXATIVE ICATING DR. CROSSMAN’S fust Tace at intervals of o Tew MInNGLes by - eral specials, Seats In rear cars reserved f ladies and their escorts. Admission to unno. Wicluding railroad fare, $1.25. IlClznus:H v Instandy. | &0 = _ | striking on his head. Wholesale and | | Schr Henry i o —oe V | | A2 < — — —— + SCHOONER MARY BUHNE, WHICH PUT BACK TO PORT IN DISTRESS YESTERDAY. SHE WAS CAUGHT IN A 1 NORTHWESTER. CAPTAIN DANNEVIG SA\S NO ONE KNOWS WHAT WEATHER TO EXPECT OUTSIDE THESE DAYS. ! \ HE schooner Mary Buhne came back to port yesterday in distress. She ieft here for Eureka last Tues- day and as soon as she got out- side ran into a northwester. When | off Fish Rock the foresail was blown out of the bolt ropes. Then an old-fashioned nor'wester came down on the schooner. The jib was blown to ribbons and when the flying jib began to go Captain Danne- vig sent Joe Weaver, John Weller and H. cure it. With the fly- ing jib gone there would have been noth- lng left to keep the vessel's head to the a and she would probably have broached to and capsized. | As it was matters were bad enough and | the Mary Buhne had to turn tail and run | for San Franeisco. While the schooner was pitching into the head sea and the men were hard at work on the flying jib | a glant sea came along and swept the three sailors from the foot rope. Ander- son succeeded in holding on to a gasket, | while Weaver caught a chainplate. John ! Weller, however, was washed away and was not seen again. Anderson was not badly injured, but Weaver had his ribs broken and was one mass of contusions from head to foot. He was attended by Dr. Frank Robinson as soon as the schooner came to an anchorage and will recover. The Mary Buhre will be overhauled and make another start for Humboldt. | MAIL STEAMER ARRIVES. China Gets In Frnm Hongkong, Via Japanese and Hawaiian Ports. | The Pacific Mail Company's China ar- | rived from the Orient yesterday with eighty-four cabin passengers, fifty-three second cabin passengers and 284 Chinese in ‘mp steerage. Among those in the cabin were A. E. Buck and wife. Mr. Buck ls | the United States Minister to Japan. | The China brings_the news that the wn Prince of Japan will probably the United States on the battleship ikishima during the year. He will come to San Francisco and from here will rope. Vi | Was Killed at Sea. Mate Anderson of the schooner Sailor Boy met with a tragic death while on the here from Grays Harbor. While dling the ship in the recent gale he r was washed from the house, and, - broke his neck. } NEWS OF THE OCEAN. Matters of Interest to Mariners and Shipping Merchants, The Auldgirth loads wheat for Europe, 39s 6d, prior to arrival; the Gardiner City, lumber at Ballard for Guaymas: the General Banning, merchandise for Mexico; the J. C. Glade, wheat | for Europs, 415 5d, prior to arrival; the John G. Yumber af Port Gamble. for Honolul! the St. Katherine, merchandise for Hilo: the §. ilen, merchandise for Honolulu: the Tam banter, lumber at Grays Harbor for Manla, | A C(irgo for London. The British ship Oshorne cleared yesterday 1tnr London with the following cargo, valued at 39,045 cs canned fruit, 36,579 cs canned salmon, 730 cs r‘flnn"‘] asparagus, 33 cs assorted canned | moods, 2 gals wine, 6150 Ibs fertilizer, § sea shells, § cs catsup, 92.034 Ibs cascara m grada, 46,091 ctls barley, 4314 ctls. wheat, 26,000 ft lumber durnage. ANl Shipping Intelligence. ARRIVED. 4 Friday, Krog, January 2. Stmr W H Kruger, 72 hours from Grays Harbor. Stmr Greenwood, Fagerlund, 68 hours from Port lLos Angeles. | _Stmr Geo W Eider, Randall, | Portland, via Astorfa 46% honr Stmr China, Seabury, 25 days from Hong- kong, via Yokohama 17 dnv! 12 hours, via | Honolulu 6 days 12 hours 20 minutes, | "Br stmr Argyll, Gilfoy, 50 hours from As- | torta. 64 hours from Wilson, Johnson, 5 days from | Grays Harbor. | _Schr Bella, Smith, 4 days from Siuslaw | River. | { | | | Coos | Goodan, Schr Louls, Genberg, 7 days from Willapa Harbor. Schr T.aura Madsen, Grays Harbor. Schr Mary E Russ, Wikender, 60 hours fiom Bay. CLEARED. Frida Stmr Santa Rosa, Alexander, Perkins & Co. Stmr 'State of California, Vietoria; Goodall, Perkins & Nor stmr Tellus R Dunsmuir's Sons Co. Br stmr, Wellington, Salmond, Chemashus; R Dunsmuir's Sons Scott, London; Bdlfour, Asplund, 6 days from January 25. San Diego; Jepsen, Peacr-en. Chemainus; ‘0. Br ship Osborne, Guthrie & e ahip- Sokoto, Crosby, Queenstown, G W McNear. SAILED. Friday, January 2. Stmr Signal, Bendegaard, Crescent City. Stmr Gipsy, Leland, Santa Cruz, Stmr South’ Coast, Olsen, Albion. Stmr Corona, Gielow, San Pedro. r RI ohnson, —. Rtmr ‘Whitesboro, Olsen, Grunwood Stmr Mackinaw, Littléfield, Seattle, Nor stmr Tellus, Pedersen, Chemainus. Bktn W H Dimond, Hansen, Honolulu. RETURNED. Friday, January 9. Schr Mary Buhne, Dannevig, hence Jan 22, for Eureka, on account of losing foresail, fly- ing jib and jiv. syoxm Per_stmr W H K Geo R Voisberg, -mn hu(- CH Gold! Gold! Gold! The latest El Dorado is reported to be on Ncme City Beach, Alaska. Thousands of 2. 8 a m tug H Wheeler In s St e, o wbon SPECIFIC MIXTURE R o R Stomach Bitters. It will regulate the Gonorrhoe: leots, | gtir up the liver, invigorate the kidneys ou_:eo-»lal-u absolutely cure indi . constipation, ma- of th 0 ration. laria, chills and fever. it's & good meaicine ‘ five minutes later than at Fort P?lnl. from Nehale. lon 3003 W—Br bark from Liverpool, for Vancouver. MISCELLAN Tug Run("r spoke off bar Francisco, Beechdale, EURE Jan 20 boa sealing schr Umbria of Vie- toria. Rey 1 well, and vessel had 8 sealskins to_that time. Per schr Mary Buhne—On Jan 24, 25 miles west of Fish Rock, John Weller, aged 22 vears, a native of Prussia, was washed over- lualG and drowne VICTORIA, Jan 25—A dispatch from Car- manah Foin{ says a boat's rudder was found four miles east of here with four letters, M A C E and three crosses under letters, not vainted, but cut in wood. Rudder had been painted brown at the top part. There is a part of a veswel's huil ashore a mile east of here which seems to have belonged to a small ves- sel. It Is new copper fastened. TELEGRAPHIC. POINT LOBC p m—Weather hazy; wind NW, DOMESTIC HONOLULU--Salled Jan 10-Stmr Alameda, | ey: schr Alice Cooke, for San Fran- an’ 12—Bktn Robert Sudden, for San Jan 16—Ship Wm H Macy, for ownsend: ship John Currier, for Port d: bktn Irmgard, for San Franclsco. mr City of Peking, for Y. stmr Thyra, for_Manila “has Nelson, for San Francisco. -Stmr Elihu Thomson, for Seattle, Arrived Jan 10-Stmr Alameda, hence Jan & bktn Jane L Stanford, from Newcastle, NSW 11 Romeon, from Seattle; bictn Newcastle, N: Ji Helene, hence Dec Jan 12 Nor simr Thyra: W, restier, hence Dec IS & NSW; Mary from Port Blakeley. Jan l4—Schr A M Bax- ter, from Seattie. Jan 15—Bark Mohican, hence Dee 28. Jan 16—Stmr City of Peking. bark Gerard C Tobey, from Ta- coma. tmr China, from = Yokohama. Jan 9-—Ship 8 D Carlton, from Tacoma. KAHULUI — Arrived Jan 10-Sckr H C Wright, hence Dec 18. Off port Jan 12—Schr Robert R Hind, from Port_Townsend. Arrived Jan 10—Schr Honolpu, castle, Aus. Sailed Jan 11—Ship Antlope, for Oyster Har- hor. KAANAPALI—Arrived Jan 8—Bktn Wres- ;Ielr. hence Dec 18, and salled Jan 9 for Hono- pHILO—Arrived Jan §-—Bark Santiago. hence ec 2 REDONDO—Arrived Jan 25 from Grays Harbo Whateom GRAYS = HARBOR_Arrived Grace Dollar, hence Dec 21 EAN PEDHO Arrived Jnn 25— River, from Grays Harbor. Arrived Jan 2-Stmr Luella, from Caspar. Sailed Jan %—Stmr Lakme,' for San Fran- from New- Stmr Newburg, schr Wm Renton, from Jan 25-Stmr Stmr Coquille co. h,\qmm;. JArrived Jan 25-Simé Columbia, Stmr Alllance, for San Fran- clsy 008 BAY—Arrived Jan 24—Schr Monterey, hence Jan 21. SEATTLE—Arrived Jan 2. from Port Townsend. Jan 24— City, Rence Jan 15. Sailed Jan 24—Stmr American, for Honolulu. Jan 23—Stmr Farallon, for Skaguay; stmr Dol- phin, for Skaguay. Arrived Jan 2—Br stmr Athenian, from Ta- coma EUREK Stmr Rainler, Bktn Gardiner A—Salled Jan 25—-Stmr Pomona, for San Franclsco. VENTURA—Arrived Jan 2—Stmr Geo Loo- hence Jan 24, and sailed for San Fran- I'A(‘(J“\~Arrhrd Jan 25-Ship Dashing Wave, hence. PORT A D—Arrived Ida Schnauer, henc 17 arimed in Jan c Jan 2—Schr Jan Stmr Rainfer, hence Jan for Seattle. RT ANGELRS—Arrived Jan 2—Bark Guy Goss, hence Jan 13, VICTORIA—Passed up Jan 25—Stmr Mineola, from Port Los Angeles, for Nanalmo. Passed out Jan Z—Stmr San Mateo, from Nanaimo, for Port Los Anceles. cArrived Jan %—Bark Undaunted, hence Jan- “YERT GAMBLE-Arrived Jan 2-Schr Iaa Schnauer, hence Jan 17. POINT LOBOS—Passed Jan 2, at 11 a4 m— Stmr Pasadena, from Eureka. for San Pedro. FOREIGN PORTS. NAGASAKI-Sailed Jan 2%—Br stmr Port Albert. for Seattle. Jan 22—Br ship Dimsdale, for Orezon. T(nY)H(LL-\AanPd Jan 25—Schr James for Victoria Pa Jen 23-Br ehin John Cooke. from Antwerp, for San Francieco, 1. LA—Safled Jan 24—Stmr Indlana, AL Satled Dec 2-Br ship County Dee 2-Br ship Andromeda, for ACAPULCO—Salled 22-Stmr City of Sydney, for San Francisco. ‘CALILAO—Salled Jan 2%—Ger stmr Totmes, for San Franc!sco. OCEAN STEAMERS. GLASGOW-—_Arrived Jan 24—Stmr Peruvian, from Portland NAM (vASAKl—~BlIled Jan fl—slmr Port Al- bert, from Manlla, for Seatt] VILLE—Safled Jan u—sum Astorfa, from New I Liverpocl and Queenstown; stmr New Eng- lnnd from Liverpool and Queenstown. LIVERPOOL~—Sailed Jan 25-Stmr_Cymric, for New Yoric! stmr Corinthian, for Halifax. MARSEILLES—Arrived Jan 25—Stmr Patria, via Naples. e ——— for Tan from New York, Sun, Moon and Tide. United States Coast and Geodetic Survey— Times and_Helghts of High and Low Waters at Fort Point, entrance to San Francisco Bay. Published by officlal au- thorlty of the ‘Superintendent. NOTE—The high and low waters occur at the city front (lnmon street wharf) about twenty- the helght of tide Is the same at both JANUARY 25. SATURDAY, ol hand column and the successive tides of the | day in the order of occurrence as to time of | ! day, the third time column gives the last tide | of the day, except when there are but three | tides, as sometimes occurs. The helghts given are in addition to the soundings on the United States Coast Survey charts, except when a minus sign (—) precedes tha helght, and then the number given Is subtracted from the depth §iven by the charts. The plane of reference | 13 the mean of the lower low waters. \ Steamer Kovementl. TO ARR[V E. Steamer. | From | Pomona Humboldt | Sesostris, Titania Walla Walla... Queen. Bonita San Pedr Victorta. Arcata.... Crescent City |Hamburg & = l S5 Coos Bay . Crescent City QQEEBQHHEBE 1 |Mexican Ports . Newport . ity of Sydney. |[Panama & Way Ports . 31 Santa Rosa. -3 Point Arena. . 31 Carlisie City. San Diego. I.lln. kY Umatilla... Puget Sound Ports. b. 1 Guatemaia..... Panama & Way Bors.|Feb. 1| North Fork..... Humboldt .. SFeb. 1| TO SAIL. Steamer. “Destination. [Batis.| Pier. January 20. | | -|Grays Harbor .....|10 am|Pler 20 | | Humbolat .. .| 9 amPter 2/ Puget Sound Ports|ll am|Pler § | {Point Arena 2 pm|Pler 2i 2 Humboldt 9§ am|Pler 13 | Despatch..... Grays Harbor | 2 pm|Pier 20 January 27, | | Santa Rosa... San_Diego | 9 am|Pler 11 ry 28, Santa Darbar | Humbolar . 0 am|Pler 3 W. H. Kruger Grays Harbor .....[ 5 pm|Pier 13 | Acapulco..... Panama & Way Pis(13 'm|PMSS | G. W. Elder.. Portland & Astoria/1l am|Pler 2 Pomona. + Humboldt 2 pm\l"ler 9 2 pm/Pler 3¢ | 9 am|Pier 11 0 am|Pler 13 January 80. 1 :|gen Diego 9 am Pler 11 t |Coos Bay 2 m|Pler 13 | San Pedro.... | Humboldt |10 am|Pler 2| January 31. | ! Walla Walla.| Puget Sound Ports. 11 am Pler 9| Alliance. Portland & Coos B. 10 am|Pler 20 | Febraary 1. Newport ..... | 9 am/Pler 11 |China_and” Japan..| 1 pm(PMSS | B .|Pler 2 Time Bnll Branch Hydrographic Office, U. S. N., Mer- chants’ Exchange, San Franclsco, Cal., January %, 1901. The time ball on the tower of the new Ferry | bullding was dropped at exactly noon to-day— . €., at noon of the 120th meridian, or at § & eloer p. m., Greenwich time. C. G. CALKINS, Lieutenant Commander, U. 8. N.. in cha: CAPTAIN SMITH ARRIVES HOME FROM THE ORIENT Former San Franciscan Took an Ac-} tive Part in Defense of the | Legations. | Captain C. Percy Smuth, formerly man- ager of the Palace Hotel, arrived here on | tha steamer China yesterday after severai | vedrs' absence in the Orfent. Captain | mith figured quite prominently in the recent Boxer uprising; in fact, he has been heralded as one of the heroes of the defense of the legations at Peking. Years ago the captain was an officer in the English army. When the trouble in China began he was at Mongolia, where he was recommissioned and was placed in charge of a detachment of British Roval Marines. It was Captain Smith who took command of lhe troops at the Peking wall when Captain Myers of the American d=- tachment fell. Smith says he never met a pluckier lot of fellows than were the United States marines, who had (ha | toughest place in the fighting line, bu: who held their position for fourteen days like Trojans. Captain_Smith was kicked by a horse while in China and he has suffered consid- erably from blood poisoning ever since. After spending a week or two here he will go to his home in England. ——— California Limited. No extra charge is made for riding on the California Limited of the Santa Fe, although the superiority of the service s really worth something more. ———— Retail Drug Clerks. The retall drug clerks held a meeting Thursday evening and o ized at Pyth- fan Castle. The first business transacted was to afflifate with the Retail Clerks’ As- sociation. During the evening the clerks were addressed by J. D. Plerce of the American Fedeutlun of r_and Ed- ward Rosenberg of the San ancisco Labor Councll. The next meeting will be held on Fr!dny next at the same plaet t 11 p. m. e ollawln‘ tem ficennvera elected Prumlu, N. artz; press committee—F. H. Schws and George G ————— For a Cold in the Head. Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets. ol e o3 btz aved, CHEN HOOT KEE WAIED—CRI!I m Kee, fruit dealer, 716 Jackson arrested on Bou clon of ha: m Ah Wi -cn)?‘aumv:n -lmml-n WM.. After - Was released y !ru::yy Chen m mth to do persomally with m‘m m':dr:‘r will wflllglr i iy | Breakfast Table” or the other “Autocrat’ | Septembe! HOME STUDY CIRCLE 'FOR CALL READERS Humor of English and American Litera- ture—Holmes and His - Circle. Copyright, 1801, b y Seymour Eaton. XV. © ‘When we tura to that somewhat small group of authors who produced what may fairly be called the American classics we find on the whole a surprisingly small amount of wit and even of humor. The great creative period was the result of a mental ard moral revolution, and an in- tense earnestness, almost a solemnity, that marks a great part of its literary product. Bryant is cold, classical and per- fect; Emerson is, first of all, a thinker and a reformer; Longfellow is tull of sympathy and humanity, but he is never really humorous; Whittier, with his burn- ing message and his loving studies of New England life, is a humorist only as every great, sympathetic, original observer of human life is such; Thoreau often chuck- les to himself as he walks through pasture and wcod, but his books are not reprinted because of their humor. Aside from Irv- ing, who really belonged to an earlier age, the real humorists of the group were Holmes, Lowell, Hawthorne and Mrs. Stowe. Holmes stands pre-eminent as _the greatest of American wits; he is the Syd- ney Smith of our literature. As Lowell declared in 1848, he ‘amous among you for wit— A Leyden jar always full charged, from which it Electrical tangles of hit after hit. His ““Autocrat’” papers are an encyclo- pedia of epigram, puns, proverbs, wisdom and brilliant observations on every toplc under the sun. They are more than this— they are full of pathos, of sentiment, of rare characterization, of poetry and of pictures as sharp in outline and as firm in execution as Flemish paintings. It would be easy to fill a book with the wit and wisdom of Holmes, another with his puns and repartee, another with comic touches and broad fun and still another with pathos and true humor. Indeed, take these elements from his books, and how much would remain? Holmes' mind was as ready and as elec- tric as Sydney Smith's. He could never be surprised or worsted in retort. Even his puns are flashes of genius: “the Macaulay flowers of litera- iggested that the new magazine Tounded in 187 be called the Atlantic, because it's a notion. He maintained that evening dress was the close of the day. Inquired once what was the cosine of Noah's ark. and belleved that an onion was like a plano, because it smell odious, Do you mean to say the pun question s not clearly settled In your minds? Let me lay down the law upon the subject. Life and lan- guage are alike sacred. Homicide and verbicide —that is, violent treatment of a word, with fatal results to its legitimate meaning, which is its life—are allke forbidden. Manslaughter, which is the meaning of the one, is the same as man’'s laughter, which is the end of the other. His epigrams are brilllant and full of practical wisdom: The axis of the earth sticks out visibly through the center of each and every town and eity. The race that shortens its ‘weapons lengthens 1ts boundaries. I should have felt more nervous about the late comet if I had thought the world was ripe. An American female constitution, which col- lapses just in the middle third of iife, and comes out vulcanized india rubber if it happens to live through the period when health and | strength are most wanted. How many people live on the reputation of the reputation they might have made? Every real thought on every real subject knocks the wind out of somebody or other. Sin_has many toois, but a lie Is the handle that fits them all. One can open “The Autocrat of th books, almost anywhere and be sure of alighting on something richly worth quot- ng: Boston State House Is the hub of the solar system. You couldn’t pry that out of a Boston man If you had the tire of all creation straight- ened out far = crowbar. When a young female years a flat, eircular side curl gummed on each temple: when she walks with a man, not arm in arm, but his arm against the back of her's, and when she with the note of interrogation, you Iy safe in asking her what wages nd who the ‘‘feller” was you saw her are gene she gets with. “What daughter of the house, moistening her lips as were you whispering?’ sald the she spoke, in & very engaging manner. I was only laying down a principle of soctal dlagnosis. “Yes? I never thought he would come to good when I heard him attempting to sneer at an unoffending city so respectable as Boston. Af- ter a man begins to attack the State House; | when he gets bitter about the frog pond, you may be sure there is not much left of him. Poor Edgar Poe died in the hospital soon after he got Into this way of talking, and so sure as you find an unfortunate fellow reduced to this Pass you had better begin praving for him and Stop lending him money, for he is on his last legs. Holmes' humor is usually at its best in his poems. In his early work it wwas often broad and sometimes farcical, such oems as ‘‘Evening, ?‘? a Tallor,” “The %orvhester Glant,” he Comet,™ * Gale,” *“The Ballad of the Oy- sterman” and ‘“The Height of the Ridicu- lous' are full of unrestrained fun, of bur- lesque and of parody. His fun is at s best in such well-known humorous clas- sics as “The Deacon’s Masterpiece. the Old Horse Won the Bet” and Broomstick Train.” Of pathos Holmes had a true mastery. He is never mawkish and oversentimental, like Dickens; he is never morbid and In- trospective. He combined healthful pa- thos with his wit in such a way as to produce humor of the truest type. The exquisite tenderness and yet the droll touches of “The Last Leaf” have rarely been surpassed, even b{: Hood. The “Auto- crat” series is full of humor in its truest form—of human life, its foibles and fol- lies, handled with sympathy and Intuition. How admirably are the ludicrous charac- How “The teristics of the little deformed man, “the sculpin,” tempered and swallowed up in a gradual outpouring of tenderness and true athos. Says Stedman: ‘“The poet of ‘The Last Leaf' was among the flng to teach Eis countrymen that pathos is an equal of true humor, that sorrow is lightened 2y jest and jest redeemed from coarsen by emotion, under most conditions of thl- our evanescent human life.” I never laughed at my landlady after she had tola me her story, but T often cried-not those pattering tears that run off the eaves upon our néighbors’ vards, the stillicidium of self-con- sclous sentiment, but those which steal nolse- lessly through their conduits until they reach the cisterns Iying round about the heart; those tears that we weep inwardly with unchanging features—such did I shed, for her often when the imps of the inferno tugged St her Teoul with their redhot pinchers. olmes is beyond doubt the greatest of Agedca.n wi (!y Lowell is his only riv: Others have equaled and even l\lrp..-& him in parts of the fieldi—Saxe, for stance, surpassed him as a master of comic rhyme and of telling puns but uonc covered so wide an area of bi he. As a humorist he is ullefl only 5 Lowell, and surmma ?e only by Irving. Combining all o nu powels—-wn. humor, satire, comedy—he doubtiess has no master in _American literature. His influence is stamped not only upon the li!znnlre but also upon the char- acter of the i "% ‘Iin the v‘m:dl of John lwick: *' loes no ‘lvny(:?!‘la else did so much & §olmn to change the social lemper of land; to make it l-fu Et.",",,;:‘,‘ 3?1‘9- and to make easier for el country- men the transition from old things to new." At first thought it might seem that 0 humorist. As one Scarlet their in- tensity, their mnu;e nlulgd of a great sin; or as one opens ara and there among the short storl their nold R lhdr vulrdnm {thmllno Mlnm.l“t‘ melancho y, almost morbid genius. ~Such n conclusion, however, comes only from rfictal réading of k.mm’ngug‘r: he most un: all his pk s relieved of dn ud its results, there Is hi edy. “Phrodgn all through this bhAln= is ever run a Hawthorne nltl"mnl! %mm«nm-lnlnnd thought.' He is always laughing at some- thing, with his weird, mocking spirit * * ¢ Through it all there is a touch of burlesque, not as to the suffering of the sufferers, but as to the great question whether it signifies much in what way we suffer—whether by crushing sorrows or by little things." His is not the humor that slaps its knee and roars; it is not the humor which, in the words of Vedder, “first gives one a n in the side and then that tired feel- It is, says Jullan Hawthorne, “not hcefloume-s or buffoonery—a forced or imported brilliance—but innate humor, that plays about the subject like the lambent flames of incandescent coal.” His humor often takes the form of a playful frony: On this particular forenoon, so excessive was the warmth of Judge Pyncheon's kindly pect, that (such at least was the rumor a towi) an extra passage of the water cart was found essential in order to lay the dust occastoned by so much extra sunshine. Very often the romancer pauses to sport siyly with some grotesque character or object—Hepzibah, or the custom-house inspector: One point in which he had vastly the advan- tage over his four-footed brethren was his ability to recollect the good dinners which it had made no small portion of the happiness of his life to eat. His gourmandism was a highly agreeable trait, and to hea: meat was appetizing oOyster As he possessed no higher tribute, and meither sacrificed nor vitlated any spiritual endowment by devoting all his energies and Ingenuities to subserve the delight and profit of his maw, pleased and satisfled on fish, poultry and meat, and the most eligible methods of preparing them for the table. ¢ * ¢ Thers were flavors on his palate that had lingered there not less than or seventy years and were still ‘apparently as fresh as that of the mutton chop which he had just devoured for Lreakfust. I have heard him smack his lips over dinners every guest at which ex self had long been food for worms. tenderioin of bee, a hindquarter of veal, spare-rib of pork, & particular chick: remarkably praiseworthy turkey whi perhaps adorned his board in the days of the elder Adams would be remembered, while all the subsequent experience of our race, and all the events that brightened or darkened his individual career, had gome over him with as little permanent effect as the passing breeze. The chief tragic event of the old man's life, 50 far as I could judge, was his mishap with a certain goose, which lived and died some twenty or forty years ago; a goose of most promising figure, but which at table pro so_inveterately tough that the carving kn would make no impression on its carcass, and it could only be divided with an ax and hand- saw. Mrs. Stowe, like her brother, Henry Ward Beecher, had a rich vein of humor. It crops out here and there in “Uncle Tom's Cabin.” Topsy is genuinely hu- morous, and so is Mis" Ophelta, with her New England ideals and her contempt for Southern “shiftlessness.”” But it is in her later work, her minute and loving studies of the New England life that she knew so well, that she is at her best. “Old- town Folks” and “The Minister's W ing”” are most dellghl(ul reading. Sam Lawson is one of the few American hu- morous creations that are worthy of a lace beside Ichabod Crane and Hose: iglow. He is drawn from the life with accuracy and sympathy: he seems like one whom we have seen and known: He was a soft-hearted old body, and the wrig- glings and contortions of our prey used to dis- turb his repose so that It was a regular part of his work to kil the fish by the breaking of their necks when he took them from the hook My, lordy massy, boys,’” he would say, I can’t bear to see no kind o' critter in torment. These ‘ere pouts ain't to blame for bein’ fish, and ye ought to put ‘em out of their misery, Fish hes their rights as well as any of us. 1 Ihnll never forget the wrath and dismay which he roused in my Aunt Lois' mind by the | 1eisurely way in which, after having taken our own venerabie kitchen clock to pleces, and strewn the fragments all over the kitchen, he would roost over it in endless Incubation, tell- Ing stories, entering into long-winded theologi- cal discussions, smoking pipes and giving his- terles of all the other clocks in Oldtown, with occastonal memorfes of those in Medmore, the North Parish and Podunk, as placidly Indiffer- ent to all her volleys of sarcasm and contempt, her stinging expostulations and philippics. as the sailing 0ld moon is to the frisky, animated barking of some puppy dog of earth. “Why, ye see, Miss Lol he would say, “clocks'can't be druv: that's jest what they can’t. Some things can be druv, and then again some things can't, and clocks is that kind. ¢ * * Don't you be a grain uneasy, Miss Lois. Why, Il have your clock il right in the end, but can’t be druv. 1 guess T'll take Enother Shell en't to morrow or PrIGRY: Many of the lesser writers ot the pe- riod were true humorists. J. Tro bridge, in his novels like “Cnupon Bonds' and in'a few genuine lyrics iike “The Vag- abonds,” has created humor of real value; and Edward Everett Hale, especially in his earller short smnu like “My Dou- ble, and How He Undld Me." has pro- duced & pricsiess store of rollicking, con- tagious fun, always kindly and always optimistic. Of the younger group of classic writers Howells with his merry farces and Ald- rich with his brilliant and witty short stories may be regarded as the leading humorists. Such merry parlor comedies s Howells' “Mouse Trap,” “The Albany epot” and “The Eluntor are amon, the best things of their kind to be fnuns anywhere. ‘hey fairly sparkle with wit and word play, and their revelations of the weak sides of human nature, together with their comic situations and ludicrous (nc!dtn(s make them irresistibly amus- t is impossible to do justice to them hy ‘short quOtations. ‘The most humorous work of Aldrich is undoubtedly his “Marjorfe Daw,” a crea- ticn that has taken a secure place among the few really great American short stor- fes. Exquisite finish and perfect art char- acterize every creation from the hand of this master workman. His humor con- sists in_brilllant dialogue, in unexpected effects led up to with rare skill, and in droll characterizations and irresistibie sit- uations. Wit and brilliant epigram are everywhere in his prose writings: even bis works of travel are humorous crea- ns. These are but the representative humor- ists of m- great creative period. A whole series of paj would be required to Touch upon all who created really humor- ous work during the mldflla egrs of the century. We can deal only with tho mas- ters, with those truly original spirits who addéd rew elements to our national hu- mor_or who found new combinations for old forms and thus lnfl\;anced widely their es and their descendants 3 RED LEWIS PATTEE. Penmlv-.nu State College. The happlest day a man lives is the day he dies, yet we are all content to postpone happiness. Pears’ To keep the skin clean to wash the excretions from it off; the skin takes care of itself inside, if not blocked outside. To wash it often and clean, without doing any sort of violence to it, re- quires a most gentle soap, a soap with no free al- kali in it. Pears’, the soap that clears but not excoriates. All sorts of stores sell It, especially druggists; all sorts of people use it.