The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 19, 1901, Page 7

THE SAN FHA.NCISCO CALL, SATURDAY. JANUARY 19, 1901. ADVERTISEMENTS. AB Genuine CARTER'S LIT hear signature of SEE GENUINE WRAPPER CARTERS S ITTLE IVER PILLS. ‘PRINTED ON 2> take as segar. TLE LIVER PILLS must o T | FOR HEADACHE. FOR BIZZINESS. FOR BILIOUSKESS, FOR TORPID LIVER. FOR CONSTIPATION. FOR SALLOW SKIN. FOR THE COMPLEXION SENUINE 2 ST MAVE Sj0NATURE. vMW:-c R SEB GENUINB WRAPPER RED PAPERS VVAM'CSE%E,N‘;T’!. CRD X;—H EATR EHR LAST TWO NIGHTS. MATINEE TO-DAY, SATURDAY, "LORENCE ROBERTS I NELL GWYNNE Pretty Comedy, SWE T LAVENDER. ¥ «TIVOLI» CINDER AST NI A ELLA! DAY AMUSEMENTS. MATINEE TO-DAY, AND TO-NIGHT, “A BREEZY TIME.” | Beginning MONDAY NIGHT, Jan. 21, MRS. FISKE In the Play in Four Acts, “BECKY SHARP.” | Curtain at 8 sharp. Carriages at 11 p. m. | | TO-DAY, SATURDAY, 3 seat; Balcos JAN. 19 10c; chil- s ed. BIGGEST SHOW YET. K SAM LOCKHART’S (BRBY ELEPHANTS! EUGENE O'ROURKE AND COMPANY. the Five Oiracs, J. F. Crosby Jr., “orman and Comvany, the Willy , Joe San! Bettina Gerard. TH} AT AMERICAN BIOGRAPH. COLUMBIA L THIS TMWA Y vixr | DOWN week.| EAST.” SHLRMAN, CLA Y &COo F HUTES a» ZOO | SPECIAL--THIS AFTERNOON 'JUVENILE PERFORMERS’ 'MATINCE. TO-NICGHT! Big Cakewalk ! LAST TIMES. MATINGE TO-DAY, TO-NIGHT. ®r A STRANGI TN K a STRANGE LAND Famous Play, THE ROGUE'S COMEDY. e Refined and 75 Cents. at Al Mat- " Emporium oming—Berahardt and Coquefin. | pu BELASCO ~~>THALLS (ENTRAVE: GHLY HEA TED WITH STEAM - MORROW (Sun- G—Last the century, PHAS s Costumes, etc Banjo, ‘Man- NCERT HOUSE. FISCHER’S oo Admission 10c. Oro Bernard and Oro; Marie D. Woods, Std Baxter. Mile. Atlantis, Rousell Brothers, J. T. | whaling crui: Powers, Edythe Lesly and Others. Reserved Seats Zc. Matinee Sunday. ONE eorre CURES NMCBURNEY'S Kidney i A thorough cure for " painsin the back, al F‘ ERIGHT'S DISEASE, }\ % female troubles, incon- ‘.uenr‘ea(‘urlhn?a brick dnst deposits, bed- of children, gravei, gall stones, per- diabetes, And rhoumetion. —FOR SALE AT— THE OWL DRUG_CO. 1128 Market st. ——AND AT— DAHLBENDER DRUG CO.. 214 Kearny at.. Send 25c in 2c stamps to W. F. Los Angel Prepald $1 415 §. Spring st., days’ treatment 5. Druegists EVERY WOMAN I‘R'E WHIRLING SPRAY The new Vaginal Syringe. Iflrlmn and Suction. Safest—Most C nient. It Cleanses Instantly. for fllus. It gives full d tions inval MARVEL €O. Room oo;Times Bdg., dew¥ork PALACE and GRAND HOTELS, San Francisco. These hotels pos- sess the attributes that tourists and travelers appreciate —<central location, liberal manage- ment, modern ap- pointments a n perfect cuisinc American and Eu- ropean plans. THE PRISON OF THE POPE,. LECTURE BY REV. PETER C. YORKE For the Benefit of ET. JOHN'S PARISH. (Rev. Pather Brady, Rector.) Thursday Eveniag, s> 1901, At 8 o'clock. METROPOLITAN TEMPLE Fifth and Jessle Streets, RACING! RACING! RACING! 190 WINTER MEETING—1801. CALIFORNIA JOCKEY CLUB. DEX TO JAN. 15, INCLUSIVE. OAKLAND RACK. Wednesday. Thurs- Rain or shine. p. m. sharp. ve San Francisco at 12 m. and 30 and 3 p. m., connecting ng et the entrance to the cars on train reserved for escorts: no smoking. Buy your s to Sheil Mound. All trains via J San Pablo avenue Oak- avenue cars at Fourteenth Oakiand. These electric cars to the track in fifteen minutes. £—Trains leave the track at 4:15 and and_immediately after the last race. HOMAS H WILLIAMS JR., President. E. B. MILROY, Secretary. t w i‘roadwa; dire DR. CROSSMAN'’S SPECIFIC MIXTURE of For the C onorrhoea, Gleots, Strictures and ,ous complaints of the Organs of Generation. Price §1 bottl For sale by druggists. DIRECTORY OF RESPONSIBLE HOUSES. Catalogues and Price Lists Mailed on Application. COAL, COKE AND PIG IRON. J.C WILSON & CO-. 2 2enrTeaieseh tery Telephone Main 1564. FRESH AND SALT MEATS, JAS. BOYES & C3. 0P Siieizec™ OILS. LUBRICATING OILS. LEONARD & ELLIS, 415 Front et., S. F. Phone Main 1719. PRINTING. E C fll'!illES 511 nmfi?'l F. PRINTERS. BOOK BINDERS. THE HICKS-JUDD CO., 23 First st., San Franclsco. STATIONER AND PRINTER. ez PARTRIDGE = coup~e | | WHITE 4SH STEAM COAL. Y5 8% | DIAMOND COAL MINING CO,, at its GREEN RIVER COLLIERIES, s the Best Coal in the market, Oftice and Yards—460 SOLUTE SECURITY. irrived here from Iquique with a had a very narrow escape from ' | tramp to the Oakland long wharf. | there been any coal left the Condor would coming to a dead stop at sea. When she finally made port there was not |, enough coal in the bunkers to make steam in the donkey boiler and in conse- quence a scow laden with “black dfa- monds” had te be put alongside before the steamer could move from her anchor- age. It took some time to get steam up {in the ‘“‘donk boiler and then when the anchor was raised a tug had to tdke the Had have gone to Port Costa direct and saved the owners of the nitrate considerable money. | There is little or no coal to be procured | at the nitrate ports and when the Condor | was ready to sail for San Francisco the | captain found that he _could not get fuel for love or money. The steamer was twenty-five days ‘coming up and just | escaped the hurricane that has done so much damage along the coast. Had she run into it the chances are her coal would have been burned up and she would have been a helpless derelici MORE SCHOONERS IN TROUBLE. Czarina Reported Wrecked and the Anna Is Also Missing. The schooner Czarina, owned by the McCollam Fishing and Trading Com- pany, left here on November 3 for Sand Point. Yesterday news reached San Francisco that on December ¢ she was driven high and dry on the beach in Pavlof harbor, Sannak Island. There is $15,000 insurance on the hull and the un- derwriters say she will be got off. The captain d crew attempted to dig a canal | through hich to float the schooner to sea, but failed in the attempt A tug will be sent north to try and tow the stranded vessel o Men who know the spot on which the Czarina is strapded say she will never come off. According to them she is on a rocky shore and her keel is gone and she is otherwise much damaged. The Czarina was built for the codfishing busi- ness and been engaged in it for years. The schooner Anna is owned by the g{aska Codfish Company’ and she left San ancisco for Sand Point on November 22. Since then she has never been spoken. On December 22 a mail left most of the Alaskan ports, but Sand Point advices said she had not arrived there. Still, driven by stress of weather, the captain may have put into some port of refuge and all may yet be well - Zealandia Sails. The Oceanic Company's mail steamship Zealandia sailed for Honolulu yesterday. She carries a very valuable cargo and the following cabin passengers: J. B. Agassiz and wife, J. W. Bates and son, Rev. E. Bishop, Miss E. Cowen, W. L. Cro- w D. W. Dornsife, J. F. Duroa and wife, | George Falilgan, James S. Fox, Miss N. E. Fox, A. M. Harrison and wife, Charles Jen- kel and wife, J. M. Jchnson, wife and child, Miss H. Johnsom, Mrs. L. I Laine, Miss A. R. Lenaghan, A. E. Livingston, Captain F. Mosher, Mrs. G. W. Paty, Dr. J. F. Pearce and wife, H. V. Reeves rs. W. Rice, P. Rice, Mrs. H. W. Rietow, Ray Rietow, Georj M. Rolph, Charles Schlesinger, P. Shields, M. T. Simonton and wife, Dr. C. Shorman, wife and child. PO s Water Front Notes. The whaler Andrew Hicks {s being stripped and recalked preparatory to an- other cruise in the Southern and Okhotsk seas. The bark Gayhead has been sold by Madison, Bruce & Sellars and next sea- son this firm will hindle only the Bow- head (now wintering in the Arctic), the Andrew Hicks and the steamer Fearless. The latter two will probably sail on a se next month. | Martin Saunders has let a contract to E. Cousins of Grays Harbor for a four- | masted schooner with a capacity of one million feet of lumber. The new Hunters Point pumping plant has been completed and will be in opera- tion in a couple of days. There are three of these immense machines, with a com- | bined power of 110,000 gallons a minute. i port, has resigned his position and is now passenger agent and freight manager of { the Pacific Steam and Navigation Com- pany. The Guatemala, the first stexsner ©of the new line, is due here Feornary 1. —— NEWS OF THE OCEAN. | Matters of Interest to Mariners and Shipping Merchants, The Flottbek loads wheat at Portland for Europe, 40s (option of Tacoma or San Fran. cisco, 94 lees, prior to arrival); the Alster- damm, wheat at Tacoma for Europe, 40s (d}- {ect port 9d less, option of San I'rancisco); the Jennie Ward, lumber at Eureka for Hilo: the | Serena Thayer, lumber on Puget Sound for | Kahului: the British steamer Royalist, coal at Oyster Harbor for this port, and merchandise at'this port for New Zealand and Australia, - Departure of the Panama Steamer. The Newport salled yesterday for Panama and way ports with a general cargo, valued at $33,102, manifested as follows: For Mexico, $20,- 64: Centtal America, $20471: Panama, $2133: South America, $799." The following were the principal shipments | bbls cement, | W. Zoller, purser of the steamer New- For Mexico—2 carboys acid, 716 Ibs butter, 20 cs crackers, 14 cs dry goods, 10 cs drugs, 20 bbls flour, 153 pkes groceries and provisions, 219 cs hardware, 230 bars 22 bdls fron, 21 pkgs machinery, 11 crs onions, 15 bbls L s ofl, Poer. 1 pkes paint, 70 crs potatoes, 16 pos | & bals pipe, 25 fisks quicksilver, 6 bdls steel, 20 kegs spikes, 109 bdls shooks, 7 cs stationery, 2050 1bs tallow, 22 crs vegetables, 3 kegs vine- gar, 1515 gals ‘wine, 2 pkgs wagon material, 3 | Bbls 10 cs whisky. For Central America—65 ‘bxs apples, 6 pkgs agricultural implements, 275 gals 30 cs beer, 80 , 272 cs coal oil, 8 tons coal, 21 cs canned goods, 43 cs dry goods, 3068 bbls flour, 249 pkgs groceries and provisions, 45 cs hard- ;wn.m. 65 kegs white lead, 24,000 ft lumber, 8 pkgs machinery, 50 pkgs millwork, 13,700 ibs malt, 2 cs 11 bbls 21 drums oll, 28 ers onlons, 324 crs potatoes, 136 bdls paper, 31 cs paint, 4950 Ibe rice, 10 pkgs raisins, 40 kegs staplos. 14 cs “8ed aching. Dr. Miles’ Nervine and slept bettles cured me.” M=s. L. A. Dr, Miles’ Nesvine | HE Pritish steamer Condor, which | o cargo of nitrate a few days ago, | BRITISH TRAMP STEAMER CONDOR JUST MANAGES TO REACH PORT| Schooner Czarina Goes on Sand Point and It Is Feared She|Humors of American Literature as Ex- Will Be a Total Loss—Anna Also Missing—Stranded Ship Edmund Is Saved. THE BRITISH TRAMP STEAMSHIP CONDOR THAT ARRIVED HERE FROM IQUIQUE WITHOUT ENOUGH COAL IN HER BUNKERS TO MAKE STEAM IN THE “DONKEY" BOILER. 1 C o ———e———tfe stationery, 10 bdls , 228 bdls shooks. 13 cs | coma: stmr South Coast, [from Ventura: stmr salmon, 39,763 I1bs 4 chests tea, 23 bbls | Alcatraz, from —; stmg Grace Dollar, from tar, 18 cs varnish, 3 bbis 9 cs whisky, 16 cs 2226 gals wine, 7 pkgs windmill, 63 reels wire. For Panama—669 Ibs sugar, 480 bbls flour, 20 ers potatoes, 2032'1bs beans. In transit—s2 cs silk valued at $1000. For South America—3930 lbs hops, wine, 1 cs stationery. i T Shipping -Intelligence. ARRIVED. Friday, January 18. Stmr Santa Ana, Strand, 24 hours from Eu- rel Rs:‘-&u— Mandalay, Reed, 40 hours from Coquille tver. Stmr Czarina, Seaman, 5 days from Tacoma. Stmr Point Arena, Hansen, 15 hours from Point Arena. Nor stmr_Hero, Syversten, 0% days from Yokohama 2 days, via San Diego " 208 gals 0l via 2 days. Stmr Lakme, Schage, 30 hours from Eureka: bound to San Pedro; put in to land passen- T HStiar San Pedro, Jabnsen, 25 hours from Bureka. CLEARED. Friday, January 18. Stmr Santa Rosa, Alexander, San Diego. Stmr Pomona, Shea, Eurcka; Goodall, kins & Co. Stmr Zealandia, Dowdell, Honolulu. Stmr Newport, Saunders, Panama and way Per- ports; Pacific Mail 8 § Co. Br stmr Victoria, Blakey, Chemainus; R Dunsmuir's Sons Co. SAILED. ¥Friday, January 18. Nor stmr Titania, Egenes, Nanaimo. Schr Ivy, Samuelson, Coos Bay. Schr Gem, Nelson, Coos Bay. Stmr Corona, Gielow, San Pedro. Stmr Navarro, Green, Bowens Landing. Stmr Noyo, Johnson, Fort Bragg. Stmr Gipsy, Leland, Santa Cruz. Stmr Lakme, Schage, San Pedro. Stmr Newsboy, Ohlstrom, —. Pomona, Shea, Eureka. Zealandia, Dowdell, Honolulu. Newnport, Saunders, Panama and way Stmr Stmr Aberdeen, Hansen, —. Geo W Elder, Randall, Astoria. Progreso, Monroe, Tacoma. TELEGRAPHIC. Jan 15, 10 p m—Weather , velocity § miles. MISCELLANEOUS. Schr Czarine is ashore at Pavlof Harbor, Sannak Island, having been driven ashore dur- ing a hurricane and very high tide. Vessel has keel gone, but not damaged otherwise. At has water high water vessel three feet of around_her. GUAYMAS, Jan 16—Ger ship Edmund, pre- viously reported ashore at Santa Rosalia, has been floated. DOMESTIC PORTS. ABERDEEN—Arrived Jan 18—Stmr W H Kruger, hence Jan 15. EUREKA—Arrived Jan 15—Stmr Alliance, hence Jan 17; stmr Westport, hence Jan 17. Sailed Jan '18—Schr Ottillie Fjord, for Ka- hului; schr Bureka, for —; schr O M Kel- logg, for Hilo; stmr Brunswick, for San Fran- cisco; stmr Eureka, for Ban Francisco; stmr Alliance, for Astoria. ASTORTA—Arrived Jan 17—French bark La from Londo; Rochefoucauld, Sailed Jan 17—Stmr Columbia, for San Fran- cisco; stmr South Portland, for San Francisco; Br ship Andreta, for Queenstown; French bark Alice, for Algoa Bay: outside with pilot on board, Br bark Queen Victoria, from Naga- ki ‘G608 BAY—Salled Jan 17—Stmr Empire, for San Francisco. Arrived Jan 18—Stmr Arcata, hence Jan 15. SAN_ PEDRO—Arrived Jan 18—Schr Ludlow, from. Tacoma; schr Annie Larsen, from Ta- N@E‘ VOUSIiESS,. A wearitg ouf of the nerves; a breaking down of the nerve- strength; an unrest; a weakness or exhaustion of tha :Eomas‘ou; enzxgy that belong to the nervous system. The weak, the care worn, the melancholy, those with no appstite for food, or who have frequent headaches or nervous chills; the low-spirited and the depressed are on the verge of nervous prostration.- Men, and wbmen who are easily excited, jmpatient, fidgety and mbio to rest or sleep at' night, should replenish the stores of nervous @nargy with the greatest of restoratives, Dr. MiLES' NERVINE. A cold, followed by menstrual derangement and hemorrhage of the lungs made me weak, run-down, blood- 1dss and cxhausted. I was 50 nervous thab I could not lcep, my legs Were always cold while my head wA$ hot I scemed to be always in such a burry; longed for food but could not sit long enough to eat. Fail- ing to get relief from my family dpetor, I began taking dly the first night. Two o¥LEs, Lincoln, Ills Renews the wasted nerve-force and repairs the worn-out brain- _ cells as nothing-else can, and is the best of all restoratives for nervous prostration, - : ‘soldbydmmmonumannlus DE MiLes MEDIOAL Co., Elkhart, Jod. Grays Harbor. BOWENS LANDING—Arrived Jan 18—Schr Newark, hence Jan 1T; stmr Navaro, hence an 13, Salled Jan 1S—Schr Bender Bros, for San Francisco. SOUTH BEND—Arrived Jan 18—Schr North Bend, hence Jan 4. iSnlled Jan 18—Schr J B Leeds, for San Fran- cisco. PORT TOWNSEND—Arrived Jan 18—Br stmr Athenian, from Manila. SEATTLE—Salled Jan 17—Stmr Mackinaw, for San Francisco. FOREIGN PORTS. ACAPULCO—Sailed Jan 17—Stmr Peru, Panama. for NEWCASTLE, Aus— Sailed Jan 17—-Ship Emily Reed, for Honolulu. KINSALE—Passed Jan 17—Br ship Beech- bank, hence Aug 16, IPSWICH—Arrived Jan 16—Br sl Watson, hence Aug 9. YOKOHAMA—In port Jan 4—Ger ship Ar- thur Fitger, for Oregon. LONDON—Sailed Jan 17—Ger stmr Tanis, for San Francisco. AGASAKI—Arrived Jan 16—-Stmr Port Al- bert, from Manila for Seattle. OCEAN STEAMERS. GLASGOW—Arrived Jam 18—Stmr Norwegian, from Portland. Sailed Jan 18—Stmr Laurentian, for New ork. PLES—Arrived Jan 18—Stmr Furst Bis- from Ne York. NSTOW' Sailed Jan erpool _for. PLY from 3 LONDO: Salled Ji tmr Mesaba. NEW YORK—Sailed Jan 18—Stmr California, for Mareellles. Steamer Movements. TO ARRIVE. Steamer. | Frof. Due. T | S Macklnaw...... Seattle . Humboldt Tacoma ama & Way Ports T .| Coos Bay. 2 South Portland. Portland and Astor Crescent City.. |Crescent City 3 State of Cal.... Victoria & Puget Sound Fulton. .|Grays Harbor . Corona. Newport Jeanie. Seattle St. Paul Panama Santa Rosa. . Ban .Diego. W. H. Kruger..[Grays Harbor . Point Arena....[Point Arena .. | China.... China and Japan. G. W. Elder....|Portland & Coos Bay..| Carlisle Cit; China via. San Diego..|. TO SAIL. Steamer. Dwmuon. |Salls. | Pier. January 19. | Point Arena.[Point Arena Pler 2 Californtan.. [Honolulu ... Pler 10 January Santa Rosa...| --] 9 am|Pler 11 Junuary Zi. |Victoria & Pgt Sd| 9 am|Pler 11 Humboldt 12 m|Pier 13 .|Coos Bay 12 m|Pler 13 *|Coquille “River 4 pm|Pier 2 Scattle & N What.| 5 pm|Pler 2 \|Seattle & Tacoma.|10 am|Pler 8§ January 22. 12 m|Pler 13 am|Pier 11 9 am|Pler 2 10 am| 2 11 am[Pler 24 9 am|Pler 11 9 pm|Pler 7 2 pm|Pler $ 5 pm|Pier 3 1 pm PMSS & pm|Pler 20 North Fork...| Humbold 9 am|Pler 2 Sun, Moon and Tide. United States Coast and Geodetic Survey— Times und_ Helghts of FHigh and Low Waters at Fort Point, entrance to San Francisco Bay. Published by official au- of g: Superintendent. | them it was on account of the muchness that | T dectined. - | usual coinages of words. ] ! 6 HOME STUDY CIRCLE FOR CALL READERS emplified in Artemus Ward and Mark Twain. Copyright, 1901, by Seymour Eaton. XIV. | From the great throng of newspaper | comedians who have so filled the latter halt of the century with their fleeting merriment two have arisen to the secure heights of literary immortality—the one through an indescribable drollery which was nothing short of genius, the other | through a painstaking fidelity to nature and a broad humanity that lifts many of his pages far above the realm of the mere joke book. Charles Farrar Browne, ‘“Artemus Ward,” was a native of Waterford, Me., born about 1834. Thrown early upon his own resources, he became a typesetter and drifted from-office to office until in 1850 he finally reached Boston, where for three years he set type for the comic journal, Mrs. Partington’s Carpet Bag. This apprenticeship under Shillaber doubtless turned-his mind to humor as a profession, but it was not until 1857 or 1558, while 1n Ohio, whither he had drifted, that he adopted the nom de plume “A. ‘Ward” and began seriously to contribute humorous matter to the papers and to de- liver comic lectures. In 1860 he was in- vited to New York to become editor of the new humorous weekly, Vanity Fair, but the venture was unsuccessful. Two years later he made a tour through the extreme West in search of humorous ma- terial, and upon his return he started in 1866 upon a lecture tour of England. In the midst of a brilliant success in Lon- don he died of consumption March 6, 1867. The essence of “Artemus Ward's” hu- #nor lay first of all in the droll personality of the man. Much of his “quaint humor,” says Hawels, who heard him in London, “could only live at all in_that subtle at- mosphere which Artemus Ward's presence created, and in which alone he was able to operate.” He was the originator of what may be called the American manner of dellvering humor. He would set forth his most telling jokes with perfect com posure, with an expression almost of sad- ness on his face, and then would look up with seeming surprise when the audience burst into,a roar. His methods as a lec- turer were always unexpected. At one time he was ten minutes late and the audience grew impatient. At length he a})peared and began to dust the furniture of the stage. All supposed that he was a mere assistant, and grew more impatient, until at length he turned about with the remark, “Now that everything is all ready, I will begin.” “I can see him now,’ says one who heard him lecture, “‘as he came on the narrow platform in front of his inferior panorama and stole a glance at the densely Packed room and then at his panorama. * ¢ On first entering he would seem profoundly unconscious that anything was expected of him, but after lecking at the audience, then at his own clothes, and then apologetically at his })anomma‘ he began to explain its mer- ts.” Often he grew confldential and admitted his hearers into the secret failings and private history of his panorama, then sud- denly he would ask to be excused while he ran up the moon over an evening scene. An impatient jerxing and ghaking would then be heard behind the’ scenes, after which the showman would come | forth and blandly ask the audience to | please excuse the moon for that evening, as it was not in working order; in fact, he would confide that the crying need of his show was a good “moonist.” After describing the death of a certailn charac- ter in his lecture on the Mormons, he would suddeniy pause and ask that soft, sad music might be played on the piano. The key to Ward's drollery lay in his peculiar personality. To him the worid was inverted: he saw everything in a strange, topsy-turvy way. most people consider beautiful or sublime | or faultless or holy awoke in him an i voluntary mirth, and the total unpre- paredness of the mind for his remarks and observations made them doubly laughable. The incongruous always at- tracted him; he delighted in picturesque personalities and communities; the Mor- mons, the Shakers, the free lovers “‘wimin's rites asscciashuns,” the In —indeed, his bocks furnish a complete list of the incongruous and unique elements in the American life and society of his | ay. Of all the 0dd things that he saw, the | Mormons delighted him most. He never tired of dwelling on their peculiaritie: Their religion is singular, but their wives ars | plural. 1 regret to say that efforts were made to | make a Mormon of me while I was in Utah. It was leap year whem I was there, and seventeen young widows—the wives of a de- | ceased Mormon (he died by request)—offered . "1 called upon them one day, and taking their soft white hands in mine—which made eighteen hands altogether— | I found them in tears, and I sald, “Why Is this thus? What is the reason of this thus- ness?"” They hove a sigh—seventeen sighs of differ- ent size. They said, “Oh, soon thou wilt be gonested away!” I told them that when I got ready to leave a place I usually wentested. They sald: “Doth not like u: I sald, “I doth, I dot! 1 also said, “I hope your intentions are honorable, as I am a lone child, and my parents are far, far away!" They the said: ‘Wilt not man us? I sald, ‘“Oh, no; It cannot wr Again they asked me to marry them, and again I declined. When ¢ ed, “O eruel man! this is too much—oh, too much! I told | It will be seen that one element of the humor of Artemus Ward les in his un- | Some of his ef- | forts are really surprising: | “Let us glide,” I said, “in the masy dance,” and we glode. Alexander the Great was punkins, but Napo- leon was punkinses. T sald, “Why these weeps™" He delighted in sly hits at the over-ro- mantic, at the artificiality of stage diction and at fine writing generally. “Wait till T go home,”" he says in his inter- view with Jefferson Davis, “and start out the Baldinsvill Mounted Hoss Cavalry! I'm capt- ing of that corpse, 1 am, and J. Davis, be- ware! Jefferson D., I now leave you! well, my gay Saler Boy! Good-by, my bold buccaneer! Pirut of the deep bius sea, adoo, adoo." Few who have used misspelling as a comic effect have surpassed ‘“‘Artemus Ward.” His combinations of letters and figures always bring a shock of surprise: Resently my feller sitterzens extended a in- vite for me to norate to 'em on the krysi excepted & on last Toosday nite I peared be 4o C of upturned faces in the Red Skool House. % His writings abound in exaggeration and irreverence, they are often positively coarse, though they are never profane, and they are often for pages the merest horse play. The element that keeps them alive 1s the indescribable drollery, the con- stant occurrence of surprising turns of thought, and the naive and almost uncon- sclous incongruity everywhere to be found. Ome may open almost at random and find a passage worthy of quotation: me does this string of second-hand cotfins leave?” I inquired of the depot master. A Ward is ded. He saw the error of his way at 15 minits parst 2 yesterday, and stabbed his- self with a stuffed sled-stake, dying in five Deautiful tabloos to slow moosic. By attendin strickly to bizness I've amassed Pittance. handsum 3 ® They axed me if they could go In without * sez I, “but you can Yaxsne. LN exac pay without going in. 1 tell you, feller-citizens, it would have bin ten dollars in Jeft Davis' pocket if he’d never born. I "the boardin House (at Oberlin Collexs) the cullured peple sit at the firsy table. What they leeve 1s made into hash for the white peple. As I don’t like the idee of eatin’ my vittles With Ethlopians, I sit at the seckind table, and the konsequence is I've devowered so much hash that my inwards is in a hily mixt up condishun. It makes men's noses blossum like the lobster 1 intended to make this letter very seris, but a few goaks may have accidentally crept in. Never mind. Besides, I think it improves a komick paper to publish a goak once In a ‘while. Aasi %l (2 Eomme of s ame L ~ e s like that of Browne. came from the humblest homes, and both be'tuux life ; d Clemens flruu:{:mt- Tirosque phases of Jife o extrame ern Ancr&. and both were in Things_that | the great spirit of literary comedy, with its well known peculiac over America during the nineteenth century But Twain”" is far more truly a humorist than was his eariler rival. Browne was a lit- erary comedian, the prince of literary comedians to be sure, but only at rare times was he a true humorist. Much of “‘Mark Twain" is mere farce; scattered through his earlier books are page after page of horse play and broad wit and pure drollery, yet under it all there is a basis of minute observation of nature, and of truth to the fundamentals of human life. In much of his later work there is a vein of the truest pathos. Were all the merely comic parts stricken from his writings he would still rank as a great humorist. Few men in a generation have seen so wide an area of life as “Mark Twain.” Born in a frontier town on the Missis- sippi, he passed his boyhood amid an en- vironment and a society which, to say the least, was peculiar to America. As a wan- dering printer during a most interesting epoch he saw through a wide area a pic- turesque phase of our national life. Later as fl.sflot on the Mississippi, then as a Confederate soldier, and still later as a traveler and journalist in the wildest por- tions of the West—in Virginia City and in the gold flelds of California—he certainly saw phases of life that are unique. In later 1;,eu.r' he has traveled over most of the globe and has resided for years at a time in foreign cities. This cosmopoiitan training has made him the humor'st not of a small locality but of all America. He is the most purely American type that has thus far been produced, and he is the most extensively read. At the present day he is the most widely known of all Ameri- cans, and wherever he s known it is first of all as a humorist. His books are read In every language, and wherever they are read they excite mirth, which proves that his humor is of the universal type, an at- tribute of humor conferred only on & few of the sunsreme masters. In many ways it has been a positive loss to the world that “Mark Twain" first be- came known as a great joker. Nothing that he writes {s taken seriously. His audience is on a broad grin before he says a word. He has complained that his most serigus work has time and again been taken as comic, and all the effect upon which he had counted therefore lost. As a matter of fact_large areas of his works were written in dead earnest; yet fate has decreed that do what he may his truth will read as if it were a lie, and vice versa, He has a rich vein of poetry in his na- ture; some of his descriptions of land- scapes are as good as anything of the kind that we have in the language, and he is also a careful depicter of character and of human nature. Tom Sawyer. Huckle- berry Finn and Pudd'nhead Wilson are drawn with intense realism, both as to themselves and their backgrounds. He was not so much of a wit as Browne. He does not flash and scintillate. His humor is often like an atmosphere that pervades a work. He is harder to quot indeed, the law may be positively stated that the more genuine the humorist the barder he is to quote. His humor comes first of all from his minute powers of observation. He is wide awake and he sees everything; no absurdity escapes him, no sham, no insincerity, no grotesq incongruity ridicules the tourist w is doing Europe in four weeks and who is full of gush and exclamation. He refuses to show emotion at the tomb of Colum} but he weeps at the grave of Adam. nocents Abroad” is a book oftravels versed. It is Europe stripped of its k. and seen through the eyes of a keen, prac tical, matter-of-fact Yankee, without rev- Of “Mark Twain reverence little need be said. minor phase of his humor, yet it Is always telling. s exaggeration and It is only a The stage driver sald the Apaches used to annoy him all the time when he was [ southern overland, and that he came as | 88 anything to starving to death in the of abundance, becau: ey kept him so with bullet holes that he couldn’t hold vittles. Salt Lake City was healthy—an ex healthy city. They declared there was one physiclan in the place and he was rested every week regularly and held te swer under the vagrant act for having visible means of support. The well-known description of the coyote in “Roughing It" is a mixture of geration and of really tion. Despite its caric s best pictures of this peculiarly American creature in literature. Thereis a nalve innocence about his humor that is peculiariy his own device. He gives such an air of plausibility to even his wildest tales that it often takes a real effort to disbelieve them. The read- er who has followed the author innocen ly and unsuspectingly suddenly finds him- seif brought up with a sudden turn against a wild absurdity and then realizes all at once that the author has been skill- fully leading him to this very point. The surprise and the sudden incongruity cre- ate laughter. The author relates an experience where hé nearly perished with hunger. He tells how he was driven to eat his boots, then comes the sudden remark, “The hoiles tasted best.” For years my pet aversion had been the cuckoo clock; now here I was, at last, right 's_home; so wherever 1 wes oniy accurate d ng ‘hoo-hoo! hoo-hoo! hoo-hoo in my ears. For a nervous man this was a fine state of things. Some sounds are hatefuller than otbers, but no sound is quite so inane and silly and aggravating as the “hoo-hoo' of a cuckoo clock. I think. I bought one and am carrying it home to a certain person’s, for I have always sald that if the opportunity ever happened I would do that man an ill turn. at 1 meant wi that I would break one of his legs, or som thing of that sort: but in Lucerne I instantly eaw that I could impair his mind. That would be more lasting and more satisfactory every way, so I bought the cuckoo clock; and if T ever get home with i1t ‘“he is my meat'” as they say in the mines. I thought of another candidate—a book reviewer, whom I could name if I wanted to—but after thinking it over I didn't buy him & clock. I couldn't in- jure his mind. ‘There is, too, a peculiar drollery about his way Of expressing himseif that re- minds us of Artemus Ward: Take it all around, there is quite a information appears to stew urally, like the precious ottar of roses out of the otter. Sometimes it has seemed to me that I would give worlds if I could retain my facts: but it cannot be. The more I calk up the sources and the tighter I get the more I leak wisdom. The Mormon bible is chloroform fn print. Of his shrewd common sense and epl- ammatic wisdom the extraicts from dd’'nhead Wilson's calendar are _the best examples. His pathos and his reflned sentiment breathe from every page of “Joan of Arc” are freely and sprinkled through all of his later books. “Mark Twain” is more than a mere jester—he 1s a philosopher, a literary artist, a minute realist, a keen observer of life, a satirist, a reformer—a humorist in _the' highest scnse. He i universally recogn! as the of living humor- ists; but if the fashion of humor changes, as change it may, he will remain for other qualities—certain primordial qualities, such as are expressed in his work on the Mississippi—a force to be reckoned with in the literature of this country.” FRED LEWIS PATTEE, Pennsylvania State College. California Limited. No extra charge is made for ridipg on the Californfs Limited of the Santa Fe, although the superiority of the service Is really worth sumething more. - —_——e————— Liquor Dealers Organize. A Mquor dealers’ association which is to be known as the California Liquor As- sociation No. 1 was yesterday afterncon in B'nal B'rith Hall. on Eddy dent, E. L. Wagner; vice president. Harry Cousins; secretary, William Clark; trea; urer, Oscar Hocke, and sergeant at arms, Charles Kaufman. A board of directors onsisting of ona from each Assembly dis- :rlct will be elected at a meeting which will be held on the 24th of January. An effort will be made to extend the organ- ization throughout the Stat —_————— For a Cold in the Head. Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tableta