The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 13, 1901, Page 7

THE SUNDAY CALIL = ] I RIBULATIONS. — — ER=IN-LAWARRIVES *““You and your holy sock get out o' this shoes the rest of the winter!™ as fast as you can!" She went to the Kit to finish Mr. Bowser got.. Something in her he dishes, and t t feare. me element of ma they returned to the sitting-room he purred in sympathy ehook off the feeling and hoarsely whis- sti pered: Iy he cat crept " y—but as Bowser and rubbe “There is a train at 10 o'clock in the lowed by t ¢ v la morning; you ean go by that!™ by side on th d iato vaca f T do it'll be as a corpse!” she grim A tramp hal . ! then. I for 2 loan ftals, but Mr. I d on—gazed at v the end of the worl d. replied down thére! Now 2 dime t want to teil you a few things. You ars his a bulldozing husband and it would do gocd to be hit across the neck with a crowbar. You think you know it all, and you are bou everybod except you 1 hours, and she's a fool for doing it. You never come home except to kick about something, and if I was your wife I'd gcald you. You talk about waste a SN IT WOULDN'T I “Didn’t yo travagance, sugar if lef beat and re I'll have you in the right “And you'll stay a weel Bowser. “Four of them!" she veplied. “And I'll work a re kable change In you It's all the best possible I'm not going to marry him the reason why. It won't do y TRAINED. f ood to roll eves 1 - - :Jél lgh and crack your toes. You'v Tites the he stands at cuddle right down like a barre! of molas- PR ses. Don't go up stalrs 2 1 Cook AT Al time, and if there's any lass street NOTicE!"HE E 3 holy socks. youll go I know nner!” he gasped as his much besides, but gs. -he AP ava mfort nners, but you a house is run time he was - Mr. Bows ant to jump up anl - . P t and declare that he s a crick- w aster wn house and wouldn't # should e sh ste r dir f he starved to : infuence (("DROP TRAAT RAMMER : e s ( LIKE A HOT POTATO!M had “You'll sit rignt here ana ree if a doctor up and T shall do it!” she sternly replied. Mr. Bowser sulked for a few minutes is wanted or if there are any errands to Then followed a powerful silence, brok- and then walked up stairs. Finding Mrs. be done. The idea of r loafing around en at last by his going down to the cellar Bowser asleep, he thought it would be a club when your wife is almost too sick to nail a board on the coalbin. He had a good thing to overhaul his dresser. He r expe to speak! If vou had a soft corn on your just started to drive a nail when the had scarcely pulled out one of the draw- S toe the whole house would have to hover mother-in-law appeared on the stairs ers when he discovered a sock with a hole over you. and satd: in the heel. Indignation overcame him Mr. Bowser choked and strangled In his “Drop that hammer like a hot potato! on the Instant and he flourished the sock ) made her heart ache Indignation, and the cat grinned and said Don’t you know that every blow goes on high and exclaimed: k hecke to herself t things would break loose through your poor wife’s head with a “So this is the way my house is run, !s 's a sock that I bought new two ago and never had on my foot, and e heel h reak even compelled him to Pretty soon. bang? You've got about as much heart “And I've heard,” c 4 inued the woman In you as a rhinocer u talk to me like as her teeth clicked to yet some one has worn a hole in t play poker shouted as his face grew whits “Is it you?" asked Mrs. Bowser, as . r sevente m es to as much 8 she woke up. were my husband for about “Don't call me ‘woman’ and vell out “Yes; it is me, and what about this that way!" she replied. *No bulldozer sock? TLook at it! Behold this specimen . can scare me & ce worth. If you of wifely Interest In her husband's wel- up and sit f. ! Is it any wonder—"" the club for two You'd never play poker moreé tha 2.”" he observed “Did you come out here to in abuse me?”’ demanded Mr. Bowser, with want something to nd!"” replied a flash of indeper eled on him. “I came out here to straighten things d shes. o o e e L e e ) ’i‘}:i"l‘H“H“ L TAER A GOOG T ) o ‘ @AEH Copyright, 1900, by Quail & Warner. Ditch, fwich T wouldn't spake or write— no. ma’am. not so mooch a say ‘wie nce. with your wife while I wash up the The mother-in-law appeared at that mo- he saide merit and, pointing to the stairs, B e e o e ABOUT THAT ANNUAL. NUISANCE, TTEIE CRIRIS TN QIF Ve 7~ ¥ £ Mrs. gehts'—aff Of was to be hanged the nuxt, Aow’'s nelg minit an' the ’ av it id save me from Z w . Mrs. McGlaggert s ) this thing a » » in' Christmas gifts o : frand? " - Sure'n fw diz it all amount ye nk av makin’ many pris- , but givin' a do! atch a r . FoRr There's Mrs. O'Hara, stance. Fwhat wan,” €ald the widow, heart- diz she do lasht Christmas but up an’ xpect nothin’ from nobody, 2n’ gives Mrs. Donovan a silver poie pla-ate esence, Mrs. McGlaggert that Harry Joh gev her daughter fur @ ca-ard resaiver, an’ I know in me own heart that she uxpected Mrs. Donovan o give ber, in return, a blz Jaffynaise vass me name to it in anny that Mrs. Donovan w t a church fair; largusges in existence barrin’ fwbin fwhst 4z Mrs Donovan do but LATEST MAasH. yours thruly, Mrs. McGlaggerty! As for that ye've got to do, an’ there’s no come- Cla-arence, the fut-ball feller wid the pack that's worth mintlonin’. But fwhis- flowing mane av hair- latest mash per, me frind: don out a word to —he gets out av givin’ ybody annythin anny man ab fwhat I've sed, for God be stayin away—he sez It's a reg’lar col- an’ the fa-aries are both gud to the Oir- lege cushtom to raffle fur turkeys on ish, an’ who knows but fwhat Santy Claus Christmas eve, an’ so he nuver comes m take a notion to come down the around antil thé toime is pasht for givin Widd Magoogin's chimbly wid a big things, an’ thin he's here uv'ry blissid nolce box av something for her this Buy a stamp plate aff a pushcart for tin pose I'm lyin" to ye about me age? 'Pon —God be gud to his sowl fwnerever 1t 1s! cints an' send the same to Mra. O'Hara me sowl. an' may the divil hav a gud, —it's manny’s the nickercher an’ han'ker- night. My b'y Tammy, the mane lit- Christmas? Ye know his Cubyan jaglets wid the complimints of the season? Mrs. fast howlt av me afore tin o'clock to- cher an’ mooffler I gov him ava Christmas tle sioh, {akes uv'rythin' he gets an' the beordin' house around the cawener C'Hara was that mad «he broke the plate morry mornin’ aff I'm a dav awlder or eve, an’ all he ivver gev to me In return gives nothin’. So thero ye are, Mrs. Mc- that's so dead shtuck an’ me? ['ve heerd 6 a (housand pieces an’ she an’ Mre. younger than I'm afiher tellin’ ye, Mrs was soup. An’ there's Toozy, me daugh- Glaggerty: there's the way that Mrs. Bur- fell that he's savin' up his spondulix far novan baven't ux sed' a daycent McGlaggerty—thirty-two comin’ next June ther, manny’s the makins av a wrapper die Magoogin, Ushquoire, is fixed for the holidays, ¢ I wudn't put it apast ord or frindly luk uver elnce. It was —the first Thursda’ in June, I think it IS, an' manny's the pincushion an’ twollight Christmas. His na-ame is Dennis Mud him wan bit but fwhat he'd send me a ixsaidingly mane av Mrs, O'Donovan, av to be uxactly correct, me frind. But Iav- get ['ve gev to tha-at same la-ady, an’ so far as gittin anny Christmas presints Cbristmas gifi. So, moind now, say coorse, but Mys. O'Hava shud have better In’ aside all kustion av age, here I am a5 may the two hands dhrap aff oy me aff {s consarned. But nuver moind, there's mothin'! Moom's the word, Mrs. Me- sinse than to get mad bekase she got tho oWl or as young as anny wan cares to uver I resaived fram her as mooch as ye ? - E RaEM S worst av the bargain. nakh e g Aol $1e I ol ye goln' to bé some other payple wid tho Glaggerty! Nixy weedils! ir care meseif kud put {n yer oye that was worth resaiv- na-ame av Mud this Christmas, for div d N P . ny - s . for divil JOHN J. JENNINt co:iir'a 1 :n;. thirzl—t:? :fin:h “: :aga !C:l;ia!t":‘l:;ydx{‘nzk; me;an bad dantw :: t(n; in, Mrs. McGlaggerty. Av coorse, I can't dang the present I'm goin to ma-ake to - ———e—— . nuxt June, v e toime ve uver sesn yvet that T deny that she gev me Christmas ca-ards o R - D e O iits T V) BT G 105 Wenb nY fhs O bmyhn_' :l:hi! Pl chc:-:::i :}rlx::::;‘lt};.l not aivin to meself, Mrs. Mc “That was a bad automobile accident. XK. S of th wid ye, woman, iooking’ at me In that gIift bezniss. ca-ards but to luk at an’ who wants “Christmas gifts is a terrible noosti- -utn:;obuleow“lqw?ne!hat (A:!y’ :hlfldtw ‘way? Do ye doubt me word? Do ye ghup- “Fwhin me owld man Dinny was aloive Christmas gifts av that sort? Not gince. me frind, fwhin it's glvin' av thim handle.”—Indlanapolis Journal & ]