The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, December 29, 1900, Page 9

FRANCISCO SALL, SATURDAY, D SECONDARY EDUCATION IN MANY PHASLS DISCUSSED BY TEACHERS i F THE DEPARTMENTS| IN SESSIONS 0 lege Presidents, D rd and Dr. Thwing of Western Reserve, Deliver rceful Addresses Before the General Meeting hundreds of ndence at fornia | spent teachers in at- the meeting of the he forenoon of yesterday gh Scho In the afternoon they ng® addresses by two col- Metropolitan Tempie. al session will be ing in the auditorium School, at which ™ be heard and the ew One of the andiences that has ihe session was pres- Temple in the after- t en to addresses by President i Starr Jordan of Stanford Universi- &n President Charies Franklin rve University . Miss Roberts sang and gave an encore. A oys and girls from the Crocker sang three sorgs. The Hawalian Sweet Carnations’” of mand ore they gave “Aloha Ohe"” ompelled to respond to a sec- of President Jordan's ad- pes of Japan” He spoke ows: f b if he could s charm lles with the ave made a fine art > b 7 from end to en of sheltering pines ch one with al a series of kings stretches its: lone Ther any tres f Japan have k deep in the And this abundance by day or by night is hest in the agth of endur eeble folk, but hecause they ey do their part t The the religion the Japanese keeps this feeling he trust. When he loses his re- nk or ereed he the attacks of = reason a Japanese who i grown careiess or indo- east useful of men and soon r his open ETHEL GRAY MAKES A BOLD DASH TO REGAIN LIBERTY Policemen and Firemen Rescue the Giri From a Perilous Predicament. Bthel Grey, a l4-year-oid girl who aid not relish the restraints of the California | Girls' Training Hom= at 147 Natoma street, made a sensational attempt to es- cape vesterday afternoon. Shortly after 4 o'clock Officers Tyrrell and Jordan were summoned to the home to rescue the young girl. She had got out of an upper window and from there jumped to the roof of an adjoining tene- ment. None of the policemen wanted to * w her and pass her down, so the LJ AVOID FRAUD INSISTING WHEN YOU BUY Lansdowne That the selvedge shall be perforated every five yards None Genumne Without It. All Firsi-Class Dress Goods Houses Sell It Teachers' Association | departmenial work at the Mis- | rano solo and re- | avid Starr Jordan of Stan- | #ings to the icvel of the similarly outeast | Anglo-saxon |, These facts wiil help us to understand cer- | tain criticlsms on Japan. The merchant com- | | Plains that t panese have no business head | and are careless of their contracts. In this con nection we may note the paradox in the rela | tons of the Japanese and Chinese to busines: | methods and public honesty. The Chinese are GEOLOGISTS AND PHILOLOGISTS MEET ECEMBER 29, 1900 IN ANNUAL SESSION TO EXCHANGE VIEWS ON SCIENCE AND LEARNING Interesting Addresses Made by Men of Renown, Who Disclose the Secrets of Nature, While Others Dwell on the Methods of Education or Probe the Depths of the World’s Literature the business men of the Orlent. The China- | man's word is his bond and his contracts are | carried out to the letter. In Japan, the mer- | chant who has miscalculaied asks his credi- | tors to pay his debts. He shows to others equal | courtesy. His smense of g00d taste s Stronger | than nis = of equity. Yet while from the | | lowest to the highest the public life of China is corrupt, there are few countries on earth | as Japan. The spirit of mates the Japanese official and a | e is a public trust. The missionary says that Japan is given over to materialism, and that Herhert Spencer holds greater sway over even the converts than the church < er- | to be no philosophy | in Japan, and into this vacuum comes Herbert Spencer. e world finds the Jap- | anese imm mbering that vice is | ey wher. 0 him who seeks it e criticisms are skin deep. TUn- | all is the great loyal, generous nation, the odiment of good h %ood taste and good | a people who love their homes, their chil- | country on whose sofl no for- | cer yet set his foot | > T addressed the teachers of the city | on “What Japan Has Learn From the Edu- | emb; dren and their cational Experience of America.” I tried to | tell them that she has to learn the value of in- aividual and individual edequacy; that equity her than courtesy: that the | cure for viee in the strengthening ¢ not in prohibition, but the moral backbone of the individual man: that women must be trained if homes are to be centers of culture | and purity that the final end of education | is not prome Iture, nor the acquisi- | of k Aevelopment of per- | The man should know the place in it that he may do his part to the best advantage of himself and others. in Japan there is a general, almost romantic, | feeling for America. It was America, who, in | 18 West first opened Japan to the activities of the | America who led in the estab- school gystem and at It was lishment of the Japanese great Imperial Univers an, America is her near okio. To best friend ng the mations, her guide leader in the paths which new and be and as this , It is eeling of way | ered the last ad- | give before the as- sociation on *Tools and the Man.” e | said in part: The toole that lie behind the man, that make tion, righteous- | ;. who can put that one and can Ability to think than what we e thousand or ity a single ished pre ; but that = hought reach a conelusion play “I go over and over nd time again to make ab- ed here itis a be red by a simple yes or no. The | essential thing 15, “Does this thing impart the | power t " Jf you are training the | band albne better devote the time | to so »u_are reaching the Righost result y re training the mind | through the hand Whet American life needs is a better appre- | ciaticn of the higher life. In a new land there is & tremen tation to emphasize the hese_thre possible the perfect | man. Here § there is great op portunity. San Francisco Is a world-city, and here it is possible that the perfect man will be de That consummation is a long way in it will come, and yc teachers of ¢ sruia, may be thankful that it is given to you to contribute to it. i The semsation of the morning sessions | of the departmenis was Professor Julius Goebel ¢ versity partment el guznr.\ on*The em h serted that by the pr system of accredizing high schools University of California the univ v was given undue power over the high Schools. As a result, he said, the high school curriculum is arranged with a view mainly to fitting the pupils for the uni- versity, though 7 to & per cent of but 7 ever enter college. Dr. Goebel con- ing system is frail also because | examiner ds only an hnul" s whether or not | dited in that branch. | ssarily superficial and are sometimes Inflicted. It s that there have been cases where uni examiners have allowed personal dis certain teachers to sway them to the the classes of | school teachers feel that | Sp such High they have to take orders from university pro- | fessrve, | This eriticism applies not alone to California, teach: but also to many other States Professor Goebel sugzested as remedies | the appointment of 2 regular examiner, | who would give all his time to the work the examination of graduating classes alone, and the admission to the uni | sity on probation of students of non-ac- | credited schools { Irving M. Scott delivered an address be- | fore the department ¢f manual training that was much appreciated. A class dem- onstration in cooking was another feature | of the meeting of that department. Fire Department was called upon. Responding to a still alarm the members | of engine 4 came to the rescue, used their | me Mers, scaled the dizzy heights of the | buflding and picked up the prosirated | Miss Grev. Blue-coated fire laddies carried her into the Training Home, the matron put Ethel | to bed and the doctor who was summoned | #ald she had a sprained ankle. Now Eth<l | says she will be good and will not try fo | escape any more—that is, as long as her | foot is so sore. eieieleil @ DAIRY PRODUCTS OF California butter and other dairy prod- ucts of the Btate in the period of one year have surpassed in value the output of California’s gold mines in the year 1899, if there is no mistake in the official fig- ures. State Mineralogist Cooper has re- ported the gold output of California in 1899 to have been worth $15,336,03L. Wil- liam Vanderbilt, secretary of the State Dairy Bureau, vesterday reported to the Governor that the value of dairy products in the twelve months ending October 1, 1900, was "$15,492,272. On this showing golden butter, cheese, etc., led gold just $157,241. There are many figures in the dairy bureau’s report. The period of two years is covered and the for the two is $28,770,597. There was a gain in thuu.r e dYe-.r -99. lons in Los report s prosecu of violators of the anti-oleomar- ine law, and also repeats that the sol- at the National Home at San Monica are still fed on oleomargarine the Government for which they fought is for 70,000 = of it annum. st of the bureau, fiug:: H. m, is highly complimented ex- E il 1 WASHINGTON IRVING AND HIS SCHOOL. Copyright, 1900, by Seymour Eaton. HUMOR OF ENGLISH AND AMERICAN LITERATURE —_— XL When Washington Irving in 1809 pub- lished his “Knickerbocker's History of New York™ he certainly did rot dream that he had made the initial book of a new and great literature, nor that he had | given to bis countrymen a humorous work that they were not to see surpassed for at least a century. Nothing had been further from the author’s intent. He had begun the book as a huge practical joke; it was to be a burlk > on a certain pompous handbook of New York. He was scarcely out of his boyhood. The world | was a merry comedy; he was bubbling | over with life and animal spirits and the | joy of existence, and he wrote for the mere delight of it. The result was a spon. taneous overflow of fun and satire, of wit and numor and gay burlesque. Nowhere | | else in English is there such an elaborate | & piece of unstudied, spontaneous, perfectly | & natural humor. There is not the slightest | straining for comic effect as in so many | of the later humorists; there are no jokes | | dragged in by the ears; no painful efforts | to keep up the fun at any cost. The au- thor is funny because it is perfectly nat- ural for him to be so—indeed, because it | is impossible to be anything else. The young manhood of Irving was gay and vivacious. With a little band of boon \ > PROFESSOR E. B. CLAPP OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, DE- LIVERING AN ADDRESS BEFORE THE MEMBERS OF THE PHILO- LOGICAL ASSOCIATION OF THE PACIFIC COAST, HE second annual meetings of the Geological Society of America and the Philological Association of the Pacific Coast convened yesterday morning, to be in ses- sion for two days. The Geological So- ciety met in the morning the rooms of the Academy of Sclences, while the Philo- logical Association held its meetings in the annex of the Hopkins Institute of Art. Both meetings were well attended and the interchange of views on scientific and classical subjects was considered to be of much value by the educators and men of learning who participated. The Geological Soclety listened to a number of most interesting papers and it was a matter of regret that the time limit did not allow of the completion of many of the addresses. Willlam P. Blake of Tucson, Ariz., pre- sented an interesting paper on the evi- dences of the shallow seas in Palaeozoic time in Southern Arizona. He dwelt upon the extensive distribution of coarse con- glomerate in several of the mountain ranges; the occurrence of basal sand- rocks and quartzites of probable Cam- brian age and their relations to the under- lying granite. Several Instances were also cited of new locations of Devonian fos- slls. BE. W. Claypole of Pasadena, Cal., spoke on “The Slerra Madre near Pasadena.” The famous ‘‘Bates Hole of Wyoming" was vividly described by Wilbur C. Knight of Laramie, Wyo., and was fllus- trated by many beautiful lantern views. An {llustrated address was also de- livered by H. W. Fairbanks of Berkeley, his subject being “Notes on the Geology of the Three Sisters, Oregon.”” The group nfl'\rol'cs:hnlt:cmcl(:i is lltuat:d (o:n tthol Bgrm- mit of the Cascade Range in Central Ore- gon. The speaker showed that investiga- tions proved that volcanic eruptions had taken place since the glacial perh:; and Florence Roberts to Appear in the Sensation of London and New York. The theatrical fad of London and the East will be introduced in this city next week, for the management of the Alcazar Theater will produce *“The Adventures of Nell Gwynne,” in which the favorite ac- tress, Florence Roberts, will make her reappearance. The character of the who sold oranges at the doors of “Old E.’-m" and who became the favorite ac- tress of her day, as well as a favorite of the M Monarch, Charles I, has been portra; by many distinguished _the: plans. Julie Neilson set London talking; Ada Rehan and Henrletta Cro. ity Marie Tocmert bas. oottt n “Sweet Nell of Old Drury,” ‘and now Florence Roberts is to enact the historical ter. Alcazar will present the play in manner, the costumes and scenery speciall; from the in the W production of t.h.o'wh. play o ng used that a volcanic cone stands upon the North Sister in the path of the present glacier. The afternoon session of the soclety was held at the university at Berkeley, when papers were read as follows: “A Geo- loglcal Section Through the John Day Basin, Merriam of Berkeley, Cal the Pedological Geology of California,” by E. W. Hil of Berkeley, Cal.; “The Geolo the Great Basin in Eastern California and Southwestern Nevada,” b, . W. Turner of Washington, D. C.; “Neocene Basins of the Klamath Mountains,’ derson of Berkeley, Cal,; Features of California,” by Andrew C. Lawson of Berkeley, Cal.; “A Feldspar Corundum Rock from Plumas_ County. Cal.” by Andrew C. Lawson of Berkeley. The annual election of officers was held at the afternoon session. Professor Wil bur C. Knight of the University of Wyom- ing was elected president and Professor Andr+w C. Lawson of the University of California secretary. The morning session of the Philological Association was devoted to the reading of the reports of the treasurer and secre- tary, the appointment of committees and the reading of a few papérs. In the ab- sence of Professor Benjamin Ide Wheeler, the president, the chair was taken by Vice President Professor E. Flugel of Stanford University. After the receptian of the reports of the secretary and treasurer, the chair ap- pointed “the following committees: time and place of meetings, Professor Murray of Stanford, Professor Gayley of Berkeley and Mrs. L. R. Smith of Santa Clara; on nominations of officers, Profes- sor Merrill of Berkeley, Professor Faire- lough of Stanford and Professor Brodley of Berkeley. Professor B. M. Anderson of Stanford University read the first paper of the day, his subject being, “Some Notes on the R«Eecuve Functions of Prose and Verse in Shakespeare's Plays.” The address was a scholarly one and was analytical to a degree, Ifig rewarded with ap- plause. Dr. H. C. Nutting of Berkeley fol- by J. C. 'Sketch of in London. The fon of the Al lay adheres to orical facts, Guoing Jack Churchill, the dashing soi- dier who founded the house of Marlbor- ough. Churchill will be plaved by Lucius Henderson, who recently joined the Al- cazar comran{ and Howard Scott is cast for the role of Charles II. The company will be augmented, as the play calls for twenty speaking roles. vers| hist The Challenge Is Out. ‘Wednesday, January the 2d, the challenge will take place in this city. —————————— In Business on Stolen Capital. Peter Frandsen was arrested yesterday bz Detective T. B. Gibson and booked at the Prison on a charge of grand him his step- City larceny preferred father, _Balder stepfather and M.i,lunok wi’l’mx' im ai e a merry Christmas. With th he numd-clfcuandnmmu-‘-m was doing a rushing business when was arrested. ————— For a Cold in the Head. Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets. 41 from his “found in the works of Chrestien : lowed with a paper on “The History of the Contrary to Fact Construction in Latin.” which was also a masterly pro- | duction. Professor C. M. Gayley of Berkeley closed the morning session with an ad- dress on “Fresh Light on Facts and Dates in_the Life of Robert Greene.” The afternoon session produced some very interesting papers, which were Ms- tened to with marked attention. The most important of the afternoon addresses was the one delivered by Professor J. er of Berkeley, who spoke on “‘Chinese Lit. erature.” jome students, declared Speaker, were of the opinfon that the I erature of China was a priceless treasure, while others opposed this idea. To under- stand the Chinese people, one must study iheir literature, the accumulation of forty centuries. No' other nation could show £uch a vast storehouse of knowledge, for there was not a single branch of the classics or general learning on which the Chinese did not possess countless vol- umes. The introduction of printing had greatly increased the output of literature and m-da‘ it had reached enormous pro- portions. While all the literature of China was written in the classical language, which only the cultured could understand, the time was not far away when, in re- sponsc to popular demand, the literature of the nation would be printed in a lan- guage understood by all classes. The Dese ere a literary’ people and literaturs is the foundation of their very existence. fessor O. M. Johnston of Stanford Uniyersity read a paper on “The Epi: of Yvain, the Lion and the Serpent,” as | e Trofes. Interesting papers were also read as fol- lows: “Grammatical Note on Pindar— The Accusive Case,” by Professor E. B, | anuscy Tary o of the XV to the XVIIT Centuries Saa Their Relative Value,” by Professor F. G. G. Schmidt_of_ the nlvsmg of Ore, Professor E. M. Pease of Stanford G; versity read a most interesting paper as to the various translations and divergence of opinion as to_the ‘“Note on Horace Satire, I-V, 16, ‘Nauta Atque Viator." He showed that of all the numerous translations, not two were alike, all the translators taking a different view of the meaning of the words “nauta” and *vi- ator.” “Nauta” had been translated as “‘boatmen,” “boatman,” “the mula driv- er,” ‘‘the men in of the boat,” ete., Thile. vintor' had bean translated “the foot passenger, e traveler,” single passenge; “all the passen- gers.” The various ers read at the meetin, were briefly dz:guod by some of the -5'- ucators present. At the session last evening of the Philo- logical Association an address was deliv- ered by Professor E. Flugel of Stanford University on the subject of ‘‘University Tdeals.” Profescor B. I. Wheeler was to have been the -s::nr of the evening, bu: in his absence fessor Flugel consente: to take the task. A large number cf teachers avalled themselves of the invita- tion to be present and the audience was both large and representative. some on made a glowing rog:)n of the in California and the Philippines in ¥lmflnl the vernment or the soldiers. distribution of | and his own brother, William Irving | and Gotdsmith of an | whole town will flock to our exhibition. | ing to the place discovered ihat it was a fine sode | h | rabbits, and even Christian Creek turned from companions, “The Nine Worthies," among whom were the novelist Paulding he imitated the jovial Steele and Fielding earlier day. Con- stant contact with the best social circles | kept the little band from dangérous dis- | | | sipation, but its merry meetings at pub- | lic inns and private homes were full of | liveliness and wit. In 1807 the club planned to issue a perfodical to voice its gayety | and wisdom, even as Steele and his foi- | lowers had been moved in an earlier era. | | The result was Whim-Whams and Opinions of Launcelot | Longstaft, Esq., and Others,” a little, ir- regular periodical whose by its editors, was “simply to instruct | the young, reform the old, correct the town and castigate the age.” Never did | youthful spirits and unbridled fun flow | more gayly and freely. The young re- | formers were perfectly fearless and irre- | sponsible: We intend to present a_ striking ploturs of the town, and as ever: is anxious to see | bis own phiz on canvas, however stupid or | ugly it may be, we have no doubt but the | nagundi; or, the Like all true and able editors, we consider our- selves infaliible, tomary diffidence of our brethren of the quill, we shall take the liberty of interfering in ali matters eitber of public or private natur-. | ® ¢+ We beg the public particularly to un derstand that we sollcit no patronage; we are determired, on the contrary, that the patron- age shnl be entirely on our side. * * ¢ The publisher professes the same subiime contempt for money as his authcrs, The little periodical, with its unknown | board of editors and its fearless criticism | of manners and people, e during its short existence almost a sensation in New York. Its exuberant spirits, its | “more than Cerberus watch over the ardlan rules of female delicacy and ecorum,” its Intimate knowledge of “the conduct of the fashionable world" and its severe ridicule of ‘“the gentlemen who doze away thelr time in the circles of the baut-ton,” made it delightful reading for many. Fomale costume was a constant subfect for satire and fun. | A deplorable accident happened last assem- | bly in conseguence cf the architecture of & | dy's figure not being sufficlently strong. In the middle of ore of the cotillons the compary was suddenly alarmed at the lower end of the room, and on crowd- and therefore, with the cus- by a tremendous crash | figure which had unfortunately broken down from too great exertion in & pigeon-wing. By | great gnod luck I secured the corset, which I [ carried home in triumph; and the next morn- ing had it publicly dissected, and a lectur: read on It In Surgeons’ Hali. * * * By ac- curate calculation I find it dangerous for a fine figure, when full dressed, to pronounce a word of miore than three syllables. Fine Fig- may indulge in a gentle sigh, but & sob s h ous. Fine Figure may smile with safety, may even venture as far as a giggle, but must never riek a loud laugh. Fig- ure must never play the part of a confldants, us at a tea parly some flne evenings since a young lady, whose unparalleled !mpalpability of waist was the envy of the drawing room, burst with an important secret, and had three ribs—of her corset—tractured on the spot. There was nothing especially original in the humor of the “Salmagundi” group. Thelr work was but a survival of the eighteenth century riodical of Steeie and Addison, but in it there were germs of a really original humor. In “Knicker- ure, if in love, bocker's History’”’ Irving broke away | in a la: degree from his English model. The style of the work is, on the whole, finished and correct, full of a dignified and leisurely self-respect, very much in contrast with that of many later humor- | ists, but its humor is none the less truly origingl. Nearly all of the devices made use of by later American literary come- dians may be found in it. It abounds, for iustance, in exaggeration: The lady of Wouter Van Twiller once had occaston to ty her right pocket in search of a wooden ladle, and the utensil was discov- ered lying among some rubbish in one corner. They then called a council of safety to smoke over the state of the province. After six months more of mature deliberation, during which nearly 500 words were spoken and al- most as much tobacco was smoked as would e served a oertain modern general through a whole winter's campaign of hard drinking, it was determined to fit out an armament of canoes. The earth shook as if struck with a paraly- tic stroke—trees shrunk aghast and withered at the sight—rocks burrowed In the ground like its course less terror. There are in the “History” abundant rms of whet in later days deteriorated nto mere buffoonery and horse-play. The story of the old Dutchman who resisted the edict of Peter the Headstrong which forbid the wearing of queues, and who, dying et the moment of victory, ordered with his last breath that a hole be made in his coffin so that the queue rni;ht hang out at the funs as a symbol of his vie- tory, might have been written by Mark Twaln. hole chapters are full of de- liclous fun, never strained, never weak, [ ntaneous as the laughter of a ealt] child. It is first of all a broad urlesque, a mock h c prose epic that laughs with innocent glee at everything which it touches. Its characterizations and situations are ludicrous in the ex- treme. How could one improve the pic- ture of Wouter the Doubter? He was a very wise Dutchman, for he never sald a foolish thing—and of such invincible ran up a mountain in breath- & but what the renowned iter on a mighty, vacant kind shook bis capacious head, and, having for flve minutes th bl y observed that “he had his doubts about he matter.”” ¢ ¢ ¢ His face, that infallifle index of the mind, nted a or deformed by any of slon, 455 ges %E 43 i o1t t 3 it i i EE i i i % ! : 4 of best are but compiled with se object; as stated | | and po'i':%u' AR Gibint 0 e all the tim o girl’s death. Gorham was thefr fulfiliment. Con- virtually binding on the plain truth, they are long as interest require: sequently, th weaker ngt Let it that n = lttle while th le laws became notorfously apiparent. soon found nec- { essary to have x | pe together by the in all trace anything ture. less boisterou ¥ hi yet in all al_writings, it through ever present. of his earlier umn sunshine. cheering. It is the “The Stoat erfect mast American has not read them over and ov Irving is the greatest of American hu- morists. His tender s deep pathox his quick wit, his neous humo unite in a eombinatio y found an where. ant, his contemporary mate friend, declarsd of the ‘‘Histo: of New York" that “when I compare it with other works of wit and humor of similar length I find that. unlike most of em, it carries forward the reader the conclusion without weariness « satlety, so unsought, spontaneous, sel suggested are the wit and humor. * ¢ * His hu tinged his writings v delightful conversa t to be ““the ric mor that the co Everett once said happler than work in our language. To leave the writings of TIrving with their graceful, leisurely movement; their E2 +» | | ‘ | | | | | | | | ) - - WASHINGTON IRVING AT 3, ( FROM AN ORIGINAL SKETCH ! BY JARVIS. | - sunny humor, their tenderness and sym- pathy and real pathos; their kindly satire, thelr dreamy contempiative spirit, their mild melancholy, their Indian summer at- mosphere, their picturesqueness and ro- mance, to leave this and turn to the great | throng of humorists and wits that have d the century with thelr voices, s like leaving some old medieval castle with its dreamy romance, its traditions of pagear and revelry and merry jesters, its fa: off tragedies and comedles—so far off, indeed, that the present seems half for- gotten—and stepping suddenly into the blaze of the circus, with its painted clowns and its brass band. Yet among the American humorists there is a little oup that may be classed with Irving. ulding, who was a neditor of “Salma- gundi” and who wrote much in the vein of “Knickerbocker's History”; Donald G. Mitchell, ful. of sentiment, often really Lfllhe!lc; George Wiillam Curtls, tha ndly satirist of the +'Potiphar Papers,™” and Charles Dudley Warner, the blogra pher of Irving, are the leading figures in the little grou; Of these Warner deserves the first place as a humorist. His graceful sketche: with their refilned touches and their per- fect art stand at the head of one small branch of our humor. Warner and Mark Twain wers long neighbors in rd, vet in their writings they stand 'a whole world apart. No two authors could he more perfect antitheses. Warner was cul- tured and self-restrained; he was seldom witty and never coarse; he was lelsurely and finished in his stvle and his humor is like a delicate aroma that pervades his whole work. Omne never bursts in a ro: as he reads “My Summer in a Garden™ or “Backiog Studies,” but one feels on every page that inward smile, that warm glow about the heart, that kindly feeling toward all created things, that the true humorist alone can give. It is h ble to do justice to a real I a quotation. We have a cat, a magnificent animal of the sex which votes (but not a polecat)—so and powerful that if he were in the army would be called Long Tom. He is a cat of f disposition, the most irreproachable morals [ ever saw thrown awav In a cat and a splen- did hunter. He spends his nights, not In social dissipation, but in gathering (n rats, mice, fiy- ing squirrels and aiso birds. Whem he first brought me a bird I told him it was wrone, and tried to convince him while he Wwas eating it that he was doing wrong, for he 18 a reason- able cat and understands pretty much every- thing except the binomial theorem and the time down the cycloidal arc. But to no effect. The killing of birds went on to my great regret and shame. The other day 1 want to my to get a 58 of peas. I seen the day before that How 1 had I t the ground, planted, hoed, bushed them! ® ® ¢ What a touching thought it was they had all podded for me! When [ went to pick them 1 found the pods all split open and the peas gcne. The dear little birds, who are so foi ot strawberries, had them ail. 2 0% "ent into the house. ¥ called Calvin y. Pow much better Imstinct Is than mere un- guided reason. Calvin knew. If he had put his opinion into English (instead of his native catalogue) 1t would have been ““You need not teach your her to suck egxs.’ Warner was a kind of latter day Ir- ving - without his early exuberance and without his mild melaxcholy. He deligat- ed in the dr romance of the Orient; he had a delicate vein of pathos and a ‘warm human heart that went out toevery man as his brother; he had a sly vein of satire that was whollv without maiica d withal he an a true sense of the ridiculous t, fused with his other qualities, produced humor of the mosi genuine kind. In the words of Underwood, “his _books bear rmndln,. ‘which is the proof of their qualitz. In the case of many books of comic intention a sinfi: glance takes in the proffered jokes; tha wit is exhaled and the are hence- forth as stale as expliited conundrums. The works of the (rue humorist remc their freshness and, like our author’s gar. o though ::t&u u-:wamd,fl are dewy and fragrant each new day.” FRED LEWIS PATTEE. Pennsylvania State College. Undertaker in Trouble. ‘Michael C. Gorham, manager for an un. dertaking establishment at 777 Mission street, was arrested yesterday by Poiice- man Butterworth on a charge of violating an ordinance of the Board of Health. The complaint was sworn to by J. W. Cam- eron, assistant secretary of the Board of con- | Health. Ellen Dermody, a girl about I opin- | years of age. who lived at 38 Chesley street, died Wednesday from diphtheria bur- [ and she was not buried until yesterday basis | morning, although the ordinance B e Tt S Ul m e place Nd‘hborg had Ml:l = M