The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, December 22, 1900, Page 9

- THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 22, 1900. CRAND JURY SEES |ANOTHER STORM-TOSSED FLEET FINALLY AKES PORT Galilee Has a Hard Time of It in an Rlectric Gale. RAUGHT BUT GOOD Final Report Contains Ex- travagant Praise for Everything. | —_— | Becommends That a Suitable Piece of | | Ground South of Market Street | Be Purchased for a i1 Park. e al report with yesterday and arged. Th aver, J A’ Scuily, 1x, Joseph P. Hirsch, J. C Brickwedel, . Sheerin, and Fln govern- every- says In e report deals out extrava every department in the t praise nistration of the affairs of be excellent. We bie plece of portion of the | rect and east the city and gt SOME OF THE VESSELS THAT HAVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE PORT FOR OVER A WEEK AND HAVE FINALLY SUCCEEDED. THE GALILEE WAS IN A THUNDERSTORM AND THE INVERMARK TRASIA WERE ALSO ROUGHLY HANDLED. FLEET of overdue vessels mad: sterday. ship Austrasia from New- 1 Among them was | SPOKEN. eafarer—Oct 16, off Cape Horn, from Iquique, for Ostand. Per Br_ship Br ship Verbe D AUS- e} from J. B. Liopincott, hvdrographer of the United States Geological Survey: NDON. q v iy SAN JOAQUIN RIVER AT HERN against E. D. Tay- le-on-Tyne; the bark Inver-| f\flsv" LILA»\I-DIS ik i sin o ppe & 3 atver admiee kAl P =4 dec 20—Dutch stmr eimina, | Second Feet. ; : Nachs e Loul | the brig Galilee from Tebitly the War. i Shg Stk Sk, iy [ oo - s - d for @e- | field from British Columbia and half a MEMORANDUM. i . - e dozen coasters from varfous ports. | Per brig Galilee, from Taniti—Lett in port at | December 2. | | 139 The Galilee had a hard timeof it |Papeete the Fr bark Duchess Olga; had her December 3 | 1580 On December 17 she was caught in a | fore topmast on end and would probably ge: December 4 1470 « States were nearly washed overboard. A thun- | Iiccmber for Haiatia to finish loading copra | December 7 5 scharg der storm blew up and all hands had a| for Europe. They started the morning we left | December & 1470 : oy, ihe Gov-|terrible time. Captain Densmore savs | to heave the City of Papeete down Nov 21; no e T Ot eustoms | that in all his years at sea he had never | report couid be made | December 10.. 15%0 we Coptic | encountered such a storm. It blew from TELEGRAPHIC | December .1 1500 all directions &t once and sometimes thc | POINT LOB . 10 p m—Weather | December 12 | 1 lightning played arouna the masts in|cloudy; wind NW ty 12 miles. Eecemxy | 1350 rivid streaks. Luckily the Galilee pulled DOMESTIC PORTS. December 14.. W | through. Dec 19—Stmr | ‘((‘enL T 15, 0 | 1 s SACR. ) 0 VE! SCHWERIN RETURNS TO | 7-Stmr Crarina, AMENTO RIVER ST ’TL;“ :,;“RY econd Feet. TAXKE UP PANAMA FIGHT Stmr Coquille River, for Port DATE. e, Pacific Mail Will Run Steamers to Central American Ports for Coffee Trade. R. P. Schwerin, general manager of the | Pacific Mall, arrived from the East late { yesterday afternoon, and, after a brief wvisit to his office, went direct to his home in_San_Mateo. Mr. Schwerin has been in New York Jooking after the interests of the Pacific Mail in its controversy with the Panama raflroad. The Panama company has al- ready begun running a steamship line of its own between here and Panama, and | it is now the purpose of the Pacific Mail | to give the Panama people a race for their | money: in other words, the liveliest kind | of competition is to be institutéd The Pacific Mafl will send its steamers to Central Am:rican ports to take on all the coffee they can. The coffee will be taken direct to Guayma® &nd thence shipped East via the Sonora and Sunset routes. As the Panama company has heretofore | handled a large percentage of the coffee | shipments, the outcome of the Pacilic Mail’'s attempt to get the business will be watched with considerable interest. | ————— Other Belated Vessels. s sold and ready to ! The bark Invermark was six Honolulu | daye making the rum from Newcastle, | i the $135 Australia. This is a fairly good show- ing and the captain says he would have | weaten it by five days had mnot heavy | e to Fresno weather kept him off the coast for a week. er yre sold in The Austrasia was 156 days coming from | Newcastle-on-Tyne and had a heavy ex: ‘rfiencfl off the bar. Not a vessel tha { has come in but what has reported heavy | weather, and some of them have fared | pretty badly. vou need a home ut one— make a you Sro R H Water Front Notes. Chris Pickering was fooling with a gu jew. He was treated at the Harbor Hospi- tal and later sent to the City and County Hospital Captain Bur‘:”. late master of the ship Owenee, has n appointed captain of the iron bark Star of Russia. The schooner Abbie M. Deering is load- ine a general cargo for Samoa. George Sfmmons goes to Seattle tomor row to take command of a new steamer that is to go into the whaling and trad- ing business in the Arctic. The new boat is being purchased on the Sound and next pring a 3000-ton boat will be in active op- | posttion with the Pacific Steam Whaling | Company. NEWS OF THE OCEAN. | Matters of Interest to Mariners and Shipping Merchants. The Albert loads merchandise for Honolulu the Euferpe, merchandise for Melbourne or Ydelaidé, prior to arrival; merchandise for Mexican ports. The British ehip Cawdor has been cha | tc 10ad wheat at 35 shillings, N. K. H. A. D. el Notice to Mariners. EAN FRANCISCO ENTRANCE, CALI- FORNIA. Notice is hereby given that the mammoth npun buoy, painted red, numbered 2} marking Fort Point ledge, San Francisco entrance, Cali- gornia, has gone adrift It will be replaced &% the eariest date practicable This notice affects the list of bescons and buoys, Pacific Coast, 190, page 19. By order of the Lighthouse Board. 1. SEBREE, Commander, U. 8 N.. Inspector Twelfth Lighthouse District. ——— Shipping Intelligence. ARRIVED. Thursday, December 20. Bark Diamond Head, Petersen, 29 days from ! e . a little at his room on East street yesterday. He 2 | pulled the trigger and the bullet went One n this ot :|hrough his hand and then into his right $] 5500 Each CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL SILVER JUBILEE! —_— Lahaina. Friday, December 21. Stmr Point Arena, Hansen, 17 hours from Mendocino. E ® | " Stmr Eureka, Jessen. 25 hours from Bureka. o | Br stmr ¥ eid, Pattie, 7 daye from Oys- | ter Harbor. Br ship Austrasia. Ewart, 1% days from Hull, | via Newcastie-on-Tyne. | Br ship Seafarer, Farmer, 175 days from December 20th, December 2Ist, December 22d, December 24th. { | Hull, via Newcastle, England 145 days. | “Br'bark Invermark, Bolderston, 8 days from | Newcastle, NEW. Bktn Northwest, Challeston, 22 days from | New Whatcom; put in for water; bound for San Diego. e‘cllee, Dinsmore, 29 days from Tahiti. Brig Gall Schr Enterprise, White, 20 days from Hono- Bureka. kr:r 8 T Alexander, Ipsen, 20 days from Ka- T Beck, 27 days from Port Blake- Bark Coloma, Donations of money and 1= L Friday, December 21. supplies of all kinds thank-| _ e e e . for fully received fa.” on account of machinery being dis- it 227 SUTTER STREET | ro o v 25 Chinlor’s Bution PO Bimr WEienrs:olsens Sonitesboro. s Btmr. Noyo, Johi Fort Brage ), mson, Fo 3 NEW WESTERN HOTEL, Susr Noyo J{EARNY AND WASHINGTON STS_RE. | Bark Kate Davenport. R c0. "E‘.‘.;“.‘..‘;“ o Rooms, Gix 1o 8130 %y | "“Ficn & G Wilder, Jackson, Honolulu § to 56 week; $§ to §20 month. Free baths: hot r C H Mefchant, Karisen, Salinas Crus. end cold water every room: fire grates in every hr Helene, Christiansen, Honolulu. room; elevatos runs all Bight Newark, Beck, Bowens Landing. the Eliza Miller, | | rtered | United States Times } Dec 21—Stmr John § Kimball, for ma. EUREKA—Arrived Dec 21—Stmr San Pedro, hence Dec 0. 21—Stmr Pomona, for San Fran- PORTS. Dec 20—Stmr China, for Tacoma. KOBE—Arrived Dec 15—Nor stmr Bergen- haus, from Astoria Salled Dec 15—Br stmr Braemer, for Tacoma. OCEAN STEAMERS. YOKOHAMA—Arrived Dec 2i—Stmr Scharps- ro, from Pertland, Or. GLASGOW—Safied Dec 20—Stmrs Astoria and Californian. for New York. K RPOOL—Sailed Dée 22—Stmr Nomadic, Y, York. SPOWN—Salied Dec 22—Stmr New .- from. Liverpgol, for Bremen. “Sun, Moon and Tide. Goast and Geodetic Survey— and Helghts'.0f -High and Low Waters at Fort Point, entrance. to San Francisgo Bay. Published by officlal au- thority, of the Superintendent. - NOTE—The high and low waters occur at the city front (Mission-street wharf) about twenty- five minutes later than at Fort Point; the ght of tide is the same at both places. DECEMBER Sun rises Sun sets Moon sets T |Timej lflmt\ 'Tlm.’ £ Pl P | Fe. | Pe. 5§ EHW Lw HW LW 0:35 4.6 4:82 3.2 10:48| 5.9/ Y| 48| s40l 3f miss| sla| 150 5.0 6:38| 3.0 12:221 3.6 2290 5.1 7:29) 2.8 1:17] 6.3 3:07) 5.2f 8:31 2.5/ 2:18 4.9 348 5.4 :40f 2] 3:30 45 4:30| 5.5/ 10:45] 1.8 4:51] 4.1] In the above exposition of the tides the early morning tides are given in the left hand column and the successive tides of the day in the order of occurrence as to time of day, the third time column gives the last tide of the day, except when there are but three tides, as sometimes occurs. The heights given are in addition to the soundings on the United States Coast Survey charts, except when a'minus sign (—) precedes the helght, and then the number given is subtracted from the depth given by the charts. The plane of refer- ence is the mean of the lower low waters. Pt 4 Steamer Movements. TO SAIL. Steamer. | Destination. Salls. Pler. Pt Arena..|Point Arens..|Dec. 22. % pm|Pler ? Umatilla. ..(Vic & Pgt 8d.|Dec. 22, 11 am|Pler § Humbold! Deec. 22, ina & Japan Dec. “oquilie Riv..|Dec, Humboldt.....| Dec. Humboldt. . 2 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, a, 2, A, . 24, Dec. 2, . 25, 26, %, 2, 2% 7, 2, 7, 2, a, Rival -/Willapa Har..|Dec. G. Doliar...|/Grays Harbor|Dec. State of Cal|Vic & Pgt 8d.Dec. 27, 1l am|Pler § R. Dollar...|Seattle &Taco|Déc. TO ARRIVE. 7y FE Humboldt -|Portland and Coos Bay. Bay...... -|Coos Ba y & Puget Sound| | December | December | December | December December December December December December December December December December December T STAN 15 ISLAUS RIVER A December December December December December December December December December December December December December. December Mgco.| T otal Canal. | 1900. CONSULS ATTEND THE FUNERAL OF ANTOINE Remains of the French Local Repre- sentative Shipped to His Par- ents in Havre. Funeral services over the remains of Marie Paul Antoine, late Vice Consul of France in this city, were held yesterday morning at the French chufch. The funer- al cortege started for the undertaking parlors of Jules Godeau on Montgomr- ery avenue, where the body h: state during the past ‘wo dl’ “dl'.l.“n lin bearers were: Emile Raas mond Dubedat, Leon Bocqueraz. 8. A. Frederici, R. Chartrey, J. M. Dupas and P. Bellemans. All the foreign Consuls Were present at the church, where a hizh mass was celebrated by Father Hamet. After the religious ceremonies the body was taken back to the undemlunf pas- 0 the lors and from there was shij Pavants of the Aecoantd I Havee. Framie A Gy Town Talk’s Christmas Edition. The holiday number of Town Talk re- flects great.credit on its publishers. 1t is a notable achievement in weekly jour- nalism not only by reason of its artistie and typographical merits, but in view of its high literary standard. It is beauti- fully illustrated and bristles with reading matter of absorbing interest and of the Senator ‘| Vietoria gueen”. ‘|san Diego. holiday savor. There is not a dull line n Newport. in its sixty pages. The Saunterer Alameda ,g_vdney and Way Ports. newsy as ever and his crisp commh ;: w-:mnl;;]vl TR deals with such topics as the Von B D Reattio faw Wbk Schroeder case, Dr. Anderson’s defense of B Diilar -, [Grays Harbor. teom| his_college, and the reappearance of the San Pedro ... | HUmMbOIAE ..on- McMullins in sodet{l.l Louis A. Robertson 2 See has contributed to the number a remark- Point Arena FERTRTRRNIE, BEBRNNSRENHIELRRLERRREBEBRBIER Newburg Curzcao Walla Walla.. North Fork .... Humboldt . . IDes. i s Time Ball. Branch Hydrographic Office, U. 8. N.,, Mer- chants’ Exchange, San Francisco, Cal, December 21, 1900. 5 The time ball on the tower of the new Ferry bullding was at - moon to-day— 1, e., at noon meridian, .or at 8 o'clock p. m., Greenwich time. Lieutenant cm.fi._%_?_' N Sharge. Flow of Rivers. Following is a statement of the estimated flow of certain California rivers in cubic feet per second, or second feet, one second foot equaling 50 California miner's inches, or about 40 Colorado miner's inches. The figures are able poem entitled *“The C: Cllrleg." ‘which will live. Th::g‘n\roa‘ots;: gems of poetry and topical verses, to- &‘M' with _some charming stories by/! 8 n ~th¥l.1 Frst‘ lL‘y\‘tla. Eustace Cul- nan, Beatrice and otk congtribat nes 2 other Town i S ‘Eugenie Melville fled a suit in the Jus- Ames, ‘gahn N. Elbert, B. Che- i Stlingin Amec e & 3 W nltl:r.:t..b wtlrlch she :‘?a‘-m “ltl‘" Tai :grtthe pur‘c“hn: o:{ nl“l t:mrul‘:hnm ‘The 2!.:51"!( ll;l she was wgm 3&'54 in a rmny thé company that its n!flna land an area of 4000 acres and it m‘t to 30 cents per cubie in gol ‘Wasp, magnificently MAYOR VETOES APPROPRIATION Bays There Are No Avail- able Funds to Purchase 8t. Mary’s Square. “Holds It Is Clearly Illegal to Set Aside the Money at This Time for the Pur- pose. MayoF Phelan yesterday returned, with- out his approval, the bill providing funds for St. Mary’s Square. The bill, which ap- propriated $50,000 immediately and pledged | the Board of Supervisors to set aside an additional §50,000 for the same purpose out of next year's funds, also contains a.re- lease of the original §125,000 appropriated for the square by the last board and now tled up in city treasury pending & decision of the Supreme Court. It is al- most certain that the Mayor's vete will be sustained by the baard. The Mayor states the reasons fur his | objections to be as follows: . | The bill under consideration attempts to ap- propriate $50,000 “‘out of available funds in the | treasury.”’ Assuming that it is desirable to ‘A\:qulre this land, I am strongly of the opinion that there dre not only no available funds for the purpose but that there Is no authority in the Board of Supervisors to appropriate $50,000, { or any other sum, at this time and by this method, for the acquisition of park lands. The charter provides (secticns 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7, chapter 1, article I1I) that the Supervisors shall, by the | first Monday of Jume of each year, make budget containing all the items of expenditure of the city government; that the several sums | therein spécified shall then be appropriated for the ensuing fiscal year to the several pur- | | poses and departments therein named; that the | Supervisors must cause to be raised annually, according to law, by tax, the sums so appro- printed: that no money shall be drawn from | the treasury unless In consequence of appro- priations, and that no warrant shall be drawn | except on an unexhausted specific appropria- tion. When tke budget w: made last June no item was inserted nor appropriation made for the acquisition of this land If it were possible to appropriate the amount asked for at this time, some department or purpose for which provision was then regular- |1y and specifically made would have to suffer { to the extent of the appropriation, whic | would defeat the excellent fiscal plan of the | charter, unless of course there were an avail- | able surplus. | "It is true thave is & large surplus on accou: | ot roll exceeding nt the assessment 3 - | the basis upon which the tax levy was made. it the City Attorney has, however, advised the Board of Supervisors that this cannot be used during this fiscal.year for any purposs, | because it will pass Into the surplus fund on { July 1 next., as provided In the chater, to | applied lster, first, ments against the city: second, In reducing the funded debt, and third, to be apportioned among the funds and used in the ensuing fiscal year as a part of the income and revenue | thereof: therefore it is unavailable. | "For these reasons it appears to me clearly | llegal to appropriate 350,000, ‘'or any other sum, at this time out of the general fund or sur- plus fund for the purposes contemplated, the Proper time for the board to consider such ap- propriations being next May and June, when the budget is under consideration. If it were possible for the board to disturb the budget in the midst of a fiscal year by appropriatin money which was by the budget inviolably se aside for other purposes, it would demoralize the public service and create those deficits which disgraced the city administration in former years, and from which by strictly fol- lowing the provisions of the charter we hope | to be exempt in the future. These provisions |as to funds and appropriations are perhaps he most valuable In the charter, establishing, as they do, a pald-up and orderly government, nd when understood, all Interested parties . T am sure, co-operate in maintaining Court Notes. Judge Murasky handed down an opinion yesterday denying the application of In- surance Commissioner Clunie for a writ of Injunction restraining the Tontine Sav- ings Assoclation from carrying on its business in this State. The court holds that the company is not an insurance company_as defined by the code. N. K. Masten, as trustee of the estaté of the iate Charles C. Hastings, has filed his final account together with a petition | for leave to dellver the trust estate in his pany of New York. The beneficiaries un- der the trust are Charles Hueston Hast- ings and Ligzie M. Holme, residents of New York. Ballots cast in eight precincts were re- counted in the Daingerfield-Graham con- test yvesterday, and_ Judge Daingerfleld gainéd nine votes. total gain since | the recount began :s sixty-one votes. A warrant was sworn out yesterday in Judge Mogan's court for the arrest of Edward Hesse, an alleRed actor, on the charge of forgary. He is accused of forg- ing the names of Twomey and Miholo- vitch, saloonkeepers, to a check for $25 Thursday and sing it on Abe Jacobs, tailor, 1200 Market street. The charge of grand larceny against H, Levy, proprietor of the Golden Gate Clothing Works, Market street, and F. L. Heywood and Robert Calvert, his agents, was dismissed by Judge Cabaniss yester- day. They were accused by Carey Straw, a discharged soldier, of forcing him to buy a suit of clothes, and because he could not pay for it !aklflf possession of his railroad ticket and his The defendants sald they had been al- ways willing to return the papers. —_——e——————— Spanish-American Veterans. The first camp In 8San Francisco of Spanfsh-American war veterans was or- ganized in the Page streev/armory a few evenings 'since. Seventy-five honorsbly discharged soldliers, sailors and marines eigned the charter roll. After a patriotic debate it was decided to name the new camp for the late Captain Reinhold Rich- ter, of the First California Volunteers, who was killed during the first engage- ment at Manila. The following named wera elected as officers for the first term: Willlam H. Wehser, commander; Harry McGurren, senfor, and Theodore Lar- n, junior, vice commander: Walter R. nna, adjutant; Edward Mullaly, quar- termaster; John Canavan, chapiain; H. Larkin, officer ‘of the guard; Harry Rob- erts, officer of the day, and wnu.‘,. Wall and James Green, trustees. o S T 5 B For a Cold in the Head. Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets. — t———— Eligible Lists Announced. The Civil Service Commission an- ‘nounced the following eligible lists yes- terday: Secretary Police Pension Fund Commissi R St R e o, ol n miseton, . ary Board of Heaith, T w. ol .95; secretary W 1and 99.55, James ry $9.35, John A. Brown 97.85; secretary Police Commission, B. L. Cad- ‘walader 100; re Commission, James Nourse 90, John McCarthy $9.95, Eugene Sulli- van 81.9: lfil‘lsl‘:l?lly A tor’s_office, W. g. zmh LEN J. Leary 83.3, Benning enf of Brown, Cadwalader, McCar- thy, l'ihl:%onny and Miss Nicoll are in- cumbents and are assured of reappoint- ment. Leary and Wentworth will also retain their places in the Auditor's of- ce. RUNAWAY BOY IN JAE AT SAN JOSE San Francisco Lad Who Would See the World Spends Much Time Behind Prison Bars. SAN JOSE, Dec. 2L—Rodney Warden Clark, & 15-year-old boy, who ran away from his home in San Francisco about De. cember 1, is being held at the County Jall ing the arrival of his parents. Be- fore starting out to see the world the boy stole $20 and a lot .of jewelry from his mother. The jewelry was valued at abovt Since leaving home ¥ Clark has t most of his timc in He was yesterday at the County Jail after ten days for of which he m W‘C;In ernoon. . Hi hotel, ‘ate a meal and told the W it to Constable Maj ‘was and at once be | to the payment of judg- | hands to the United States Trust Com- discharge papers. | AMERICAN WI X. American literature ' from its earliest days has abounded in wit and humor. Even in the colonial erd, with its_hard- ships and its religious gloom, there. were literary comedians. Joseph® Greenm, born in Boston in 1706, was so inveterate a wag that a contemporary in a humorous epi- taph describéd him as one Whose life was whim, whose soul was/pun, And if you go too near his herrse He'll_joke "Sou_both in prose a'd verse. s favorite cat, which he called his perched upon his knee, he delighted to parody and lampoon Dr. Mather Byles, his neighbor, who was himself an’ incorrigible punster even in the puipit: With strutting gait and wig so great He walks along the streets, And throws out wit, or what's Jike it, To every one he meets. Several of Byles' witticisms have been preserved. During the famous dark day of 1780 a lady In great terror and distress sent her son to the reverend doctor to in- quire the cause of the phenomenon. My dear,” was the reply, “tell her 1 am as much in the derk as she.” He was ofice defeated with his own weapon. A lady whom he had once unsuccessfully wooed married a Mr. Quincey. ‘‘So, madam,” remarked the doctor, “it appears that you prefer a Quincey to Byles.” “‘Yes< was Phe reply, for it there had been u)‘tmgfi worse than biles God would have afflict Job with them.” The revolutionary era bubbled over with wit and humor. Frapklin opened it with a joke—"We must all hang together or assuredly we shall all hang separately. The patriot soldiers enlivened their marches and bivouacs with “Yankee Doo- dle” and other rollicking songs. Freneau | mingled wit and satire, and Trumbull in | “McFingal” made a satire on the Tories | as brilliant and as original as its great | prototype “Hudibras.” Some of its coup- h | lets are quoted even to-day: But optics sharp it needs, I ween, To see what is not to be A thief pe‘er felt the halter draw With good opinion of the law. Francis Hopkinson was perhaps the true humorist of the era. His work is more than mere fun, more than mere satire. His aper on ‘Whitewashing” is worthy of rving, and his numberless other writings —poems, sketches and burlesques—are | humorous even now in the widest sense of | the term. American literature, narrowing the term | down to include ouly those productions | distinctively American, those production: that are iu no sense British either In at- mesphere or treatment, began with hu- morous poéms and sketches. These com menced to appear even in the colonial era. and they increased in number and in value in the years just previous to the opening of the great national genud. It is a sig- nificant fact that “‘the first American book in the higher departments of literature which needed no apology and stood squarely on its own legs” was Irving's “Knickerbocker,” a book purely and ex: clusively humorous. The later years ol the century have witnessed an outpouring of humorous writings that has no parallel elsewhere in the history of literature. To rémove this one element would be to take away that which, more than anything | else, gives individuality to our literature and’ enables it to stand alome. Remove the truly American humor of Irving. | Holmes, Lowell, Warner, Harte, Artemus | Ward, Mark Twain, Cable, Stockton and {all like them and the strength and dis- | tinetive flaver of our literature would be gone. | *America has been for more than halt a { century the leading producer among the nations of purely humorous productions. | “Humor is the oniy literary proauct tha | we export” at least in any quantities “Genuine, spontaneous, unstudied Wi | says a well knewn eritic, “probably does | not anyvwhere exist to so great an extent {or in such abounding variety as in this | country.” There seems to be something | in the American air, or at least in Ameri- can institutions and society, provocative of wit and humor. The late Professor Boyesen once observed that it is “the tendency cf Americans to take a facetious view .of life and extract the greatest amount of amusement out of every situ- ation. * * * The most pervasive trait in the American national character is jocu- | larity.” Even foreigners, he observes, who in their own country nesver dreamed of making a joke, become quickly infect- ed, and after a short residence are as in- veterate wags as the natives themselves. It is practically useless to attempt a complete explanation of this national characteristic. It comes partly, no doubt, from the abundant material in America for wit and humor. America is full of absurdities; more so than is any other nation. The picturesque mixing of all na- tions, the rapid growth of cities and States, with the attendant confusion and the difficulties of readjustment, the varie- galed and unique soclety®of the distant rontiers and of the regions just strug- g“n into civilization; the Mormons, the hakers and other picturesque communi- ties; the sudden rise of poor and unknown men into positions of great power and wealth; the experiment of a new and un tried form of government, and, above all. the spirit of an all-leveling democracy which makes every man as good as hi neighbor, have ali had theim influence. Then, too, the abundant activity in Amer- ica,~physical and mental, the rush and hustle which come, some say, from the climate, demand a proportionate amount of relaxation, which is found in wit and humor. There may be, perhaps, the add- ed reason that ‘the facetious view of life is a kind of revolt against the puritans of the earlier days, the inevitable reaction against its extremes and its restrained jme—but it is useless to speculate. ne of the l@ldlnfi characteristics of American humor is its exaggeration. It abounds in startling and grote: boles, humorous on account of their very extravagance, in solemn misstatéments and irrelevant antitheses. A very large tree is described as being so tall that it took two men and a boy to look to the top. A certain man is so stingy that he skims the milk on both sides. An ac bat advertises to take in the State of Rhode Island at one flying leap. Mark Twain is full of this guality. A certain man by the name of eeler, he declares, “got nlpped‘fi' the machinery in a car- pet factory went through in less than a quarter of a minute. His widow bou‘hz the piece of carpet that had his remains ‘wove in, undt‘people came a hundred miles to "tend the funeral. There was fourteen yards in the piece. She wouldn't let them roll him up,” but planted him just so—full length. e church was middli small where they preached the funeral, and they had to let one end of the coffin stick | | ue hyper- | ro- | AND HUMOR. Copyright, 1800, by Seymour Eaton. HUMOR OF ENGLISH AND AMERICAN LITERATURE | out of the window. They didm't bury him | —they planted one end, and let him stand | up, same as a monument. They nailed a sign on it and put on it ‘Sacred to the memory of fourteen yards of three-ply ca t, containing all that was mertal of | William Wheeler." Such exaggeration is merely comie, but it makes up one department of American lite such lterary omedians as Quad” and The Danbury News Man,” it is used 'il[) the exrluslr;\n of almost everything else. comes, perhaps, from the e erated idea which many Americans have of their native land and its institutions. Nothi is smail In America. rrum advertised | “the greatest show on earth.” A Yankee | turns up his nose at the Italian who Is boasting of his Vesuvius. “Humph! Our ;}(l:s‘»ri would put it sut in five min- There is in all American humor a deep | current of homely common sense. In the | making of aphorisms and droll epigrams | Americans have always exceiied. The be- | ginnings of this, like the beginnings of so | many other thiugs, may be traced back to | Franklin. His maxims abound, not only | in common sense, but in wit as well, and | even humor. “Never spare the parson’s | bakers pudding.” | ‘‘He's a ool who make wine nor the the doctor his heir." Ne'er take a wife thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her ‘The cat in zloves e ‘hes no mice. A fat kitchen makes a lean w ) ‘It s foolish tp lay out money in the pur- chase of repentance.’ “If you would know f money go | and try to borrow som Towing goes a-sorrowir “Vessels large may venture more, But iittle boats should keep near shore." “Those have a short Lent who owe money to be zaid at Easter.” most every American humorist since Franklin has followed in his footsteps compressing hard-headed comm« into humorous aphorisms. The proverbi | philosophy of America would fill a -volume. Lincoin cal t goes a-bor- “Never swap when you are crossing a stream.” ““You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all of ths time, but you can’t fool all the people ail of the time.” Holmes was full of sparkling epigram" “Put not your trust in money, but put your money In trust.” *“He who is car- ried by horses must deal with rogues.” . Mark Twain abounds in hemely wisdbm: “It ig better to be a young June bug than an old bird of paradise.” “Be good and you will be lonesome.”” “Tell the truth or trump—but get the trick.” One may quote almost at random: “There isn’t enough bad luck in the | worid_altogether to ruin one real, live | man."—Unele Esek. “If you want to get there quick, go slow. -Josh Biiling - S. A mugwump is a_person educated Pevond his inteilect.”"—Porter. “De runnin' vine srass kin fling vou hard'n de stump in de open road acon. “A reasonable number of fleas is good for a dog: it ke him from brooding on being a dog. — | David Harum. Judge Haliburton, who began his Sam Slick series in 1535, Is_full of homely Ya: kee wisdom. His Clockmaker is of really humorous. “‘Society is somethine like a barrel of pork; the meat that's at the top is some times not as good as that that's a little grain lower down: the upper and lower ends are plaguy apt to have a little tain: in 'em, but the middle is always good.” “It's better never to wipe a child's nose at all_ I guess, than to wring it off. “A long face is plaguy apt to cover a long conscience—that's & fact.’ “When a feller is lvo lazy to work he paints his name over his door and calls i a tavern, and as like as not he makes the whole néighborhood as lazy as himself “I guess if you were ai our factories at Lowell we'd show you.a wonder—0 ga:3 at work together, all iu silence. I don': think our great country has such rea natural curfosity as that—I expect t world don’t contain the beat of it—for woman’s tongue goes so slick of itseif | without water power or steam, and moves so easy on its hinges that it Is no ea matter to put a spring stop om it, I teil you. It com@s as natural as drinking mint julep.” No buffaonery, no trick of twisting of words and sentences—grotesque spellings. picturesque dialect effects, exaggerations Hibernianisms, satires on fine writing an sentiment—nothing has been verlonkw* by the American humorists. ‘S!m‘h f their work does not mse to the dignity of literature; it is often merely comic, like the work of the English Theodo: Hook and Joseph Miller. Yet besides these merely ludicrous jesters there is a noble school of true American wits and humor- ists. Franklin shone in London as & wit in’ the days of Sheridan, Garrick, Fox and Goldsmith. His bon mots were the ta:k of the day and were eagerly topled by the { press. For instance, a young lady of the | name of Gunp once Insisted at an even- ing party that the doctor make an im- romptu verse with her as the subject. nstantly Franklin made the following couplet: % Cupid mow, to insure his fun, Quits his bow and takes to Gumn. Irving was as true a humorist as ever used the English lanzuage, and Holmes and Lowell, Artemus Ward and Mark Twain may be placed to advantage by the side of any of the great English wits and | humorists of the cengury, either in Eng { 1and or elsewhere. Besides these, America has produced many minor humorists of the truest type—Harte, Leland, Hale, Mrs. | Stowe, Stockton, Cable, Bunner, Warner, Trowbridge and many another. he _work of these writers cannot be classified fully. It contains humer tha“ rings true wherever it is read and yet | which is characteristically and persist- ently American. | FRED LEWIS PATTEE. Pennsylvania State College. Commercial Students Entertain. | A voluntary entertainment by members | of the class of 199 of the Day Commeretal | School was given in Sherman & Clay Hall it evening. | go toward paying for | a monument to be erected in memory of | Daniel Hohn, who was murdered in this | city some months ago. The programme | included musical _selections by the | wailan Quintet Club; s and dance by lernce Allen; recitation, iss Hazel Buck- le: alties, Rollin C. Ayr: soprano i 1ss May w; fancy dance, Miss Allen; coon song and cake walk, lice Hinks. Bessie Miss Al Silence is often the most eloquent an- swer that can be given. )4 From *“The Boy Who Built a Tvolley Car.” g 3 NEW ENGLAND FAIRY TALES ankee enchantmmts By" “QOne of the best, if not the best of the books for boya that have recently come to our notice.”—The Churchman. 4 ¥oung and old will be vastly entertained by the up-to- dateness of this practical serio-comic recital of 20th cear tury doings.”—Boston Globe. ‘With thirty-nine illustrations by F. Y. Cory. Cloth, 12mo. $125. Inquire of your bookseller or write to M:CLURE, PHILLIPS & CO., PUBLISHERS, NEW YORK.