The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, August 21, 1900, Page 6

THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, TUESDAY, AUGUST 21, 1900. _ oo TrRncie 5 T B JOHN D. SPRECKELS, Proprietor. tod-ess All Communications to W, S. LEAKE, Man MANAGER'S « FICI‘Z........‘!‘Qlfinhn-eAPMl 204 PUBLICATION OFFICE..Market and Third, S. F. Telephone Press 201 217 to 221 Ltevenson S& one Piess 202. 15 Cents Per Week. EDITORIAL ROOMS Teler Delivered hy Carrier Simgle Coples, 5 Cente. el ame subscriptionas. Sample coples will be forwaided when requested. change of address shou'd be AND OLD ALDRESS n order ance with their request. OAKLAND OFFICE. +1118 Broadway C GFORGE KROGNESS, Menzger Foreign Adertising, Marquette Building, Chicago. (wnug Distance Telephone “‘Central 2613.”') YORK CORRESPONDENT: . Heraid Square NEW RL NEW YORK STEPHEN B. SMITH., EPRESENTATIVE: ..30 Tribune Building EWS STANDS: . News Co.; Great Northern Hotel; Frement Heuse, Auditortum Hotel, XEW YORK NEWS STANDS: Waldorf-Astoria Hotel; A. Hreatano, 31 Uniom Square; o 1 Hotel. Murray k /liingson Hotel ERANCP QFFICES . corner of Clay. open 3 k. 300 9:30 o'cle €33 en until { trer M nd Eddy str audeville every after: son and mber 3 to 15. A MISSIONARY VIEW. rent m onary view be opposed s s have bee: for war like the devotees of Mars to responsi- p with ar mission- against the religion m demanded that ¢ ir n to open the an brands and conceived naries, who have y and scuttled out of be dangerdus to the world's » said they admit , quote Christ, “I come not sword.” netaphor from pu ese homes by the Regardless < T show their utter unfitness mg a strange people, for they do not he Chinese as having no right to their eir own country. Mr. Medhurst, without being rebuked tion, said in a pulpit in this city on Chinese converts are looked ien fellow-countrymen as foreign- think that after this war there will China is entering on should still hold her troops over at the end of the war she can have her n of territory.” America desire to ¥ to this gentleman and his te have been salaried and sup- r alms of the home churches, only to antagonism to their country and then em to be butchered, that America wants no itory” in China, and will pre- n nations from stealing any, if into We have never read 2 more immoral, dishonest and more wicked, outrageous and cor- this. on America has no more appropriate territory” in China. than the h sexton had to appropriate the shirt off this immoral n 's back, and the honest people of s count ot permit such pretended followers ce the republic a thief, o ion insolently directed 1 denounced the absurd actions of the 1 to their own affairs the distinguished tures of Mayor Phelan’s power probably forgot that the affzirs of an incompetent Board of Education zre the affairs of the people. Crimmins and Herrin have decided to defy T ican party. Tt is to be hoped for the de- cy of political life that they will carry their d fiance to that point where they have a party exclusive- | Is their own and based on their notorious principles of | boodle.” The frankness with which local Democratic states- | ard one another indicates that the gen- tlemen make no errors of mistaken identity when they reveal the various unworth of their associates, | BB i n blac Jennings Bryan received a splendid wel- come home the other day. His neighbors are prob- g th Ives up to a desired enthusiasm | r event in November. i | The Alameda man who wanted to cut the heart out | of his bride of a month because she spoke to her | mother must have some distressingly serious ideas on the mother-in-law problem. i FOLITICAL HYPOCRISY. » THIS is August, 1900. It is only two years since the war with Spain, which Mr. Bryan urged, be- | ended by request of that beaten power. Spain was jpot a novice in war knew when to cry enough and quit an unequal struggle in which she got little shame and we little glory on account of the in- cquality of the combatants. Colonel Bryan seems to have deeply pondered how It is known that sS to get some good politics out of it. the leaders of his party in Congr President that they intended to make an issue against Lim, whichever courze he took in dealing with the miserable legacies of that war. Indeed, they did not scruple to admit to him that they would have had a better against him if he had not taken the Philip- pines. | attitude toward the Pr nt, it is highly proper that they should be led t n, who is responsible for the ratification of the treaty of Paris, and that their principal newspaper support is by Hearst's yellow triplets. Hearst is president of the National Association of Bryan Clubs. We believe that it was on the 6th of this month that he arrounced the accession of 4000 members to his organization, drawn to it by Bryan's anti-expansion platform and speeches. On August 6, 1898, just two years before, when the Philippine issue was yet in the yolk, Hearst said in kis San Francisco Examiner, “What are we in the Philippines for? From the standpoint of our duty tc the world there is but one course open to us. We must hold on to the Philippines.” Vhen Professor Van Holst of Chicago denied that to the world required holding on to the es, Hearst said, on August 7: “Annexation and cxpansion are with us for better or for worse, and le chorus of croakers like Van Holst will not ke it any better.” August 9 Hearst savagely attacked all opponents of retaining the Philippines, calling them “little Americans,” and declaring that we would permanent- Iy retain the Philippines and should hold the people down with an army, the cost which “will be paid out of the island revenues, on which it will be a proper charge.” In that month of August, 1808, Senator Morgan of Alabama in San Francisco. In his speech in the Native Sons’ Hall he had grossly insulted Mr. | Cleveland and as grossly lied about him, to the great delight of Hearst. On the 10oth Morgan made a speech in which he said: “The morning papers teil us that some brave Californians have died in battle in | Man informed the the wi was Above the graves of these heroes the Amer- cause he said it would be good politics, was | Their high cincerity being certified by their | | publicans to nominate honest and thoroughly repre- weary one, but success in it will depend mainly upon the activity of the brigade commanders who are pur- | suing the scattered bands. It has availed Roberts little to throw out a far-reaching net to surround the Boer commandos, when by swi_(t marching they get away from him. Moreover, it will be just as well to give Kitchener a chance to show what he can do. Thus, taking all things into consideration, it is probable that Roberts’ career in the field is about over. He will return to London to be endowed with those honors, titles and pensions that Great Britain is so lavish in bestowing upon her military chiefs, and then he will | be set to work at the hardest task he has ever con- fronted—that of weeding aristocratic pretensions out | of the British military system and making the army | equal to the growing needs of the empire. I REPUBLICAN PR/MARIES. NDER the supervision of the committee of | U cighteen, appointed, by Chairman Bouvier of the County Committee, the Republican primaries in this city afford an opportunity for honest men to elect genuine Republicans to the county convention and | thus assure the nomination of a ticket which will | command the support not only of all true Repub- | licans, but of independent voters as well. For accom- plishing that no small amount of credit is due to the members of the County Committee, who stood firmly for honest politics and fair dealing in spite of all that | Herrin, Crimmins and Kelly and their combined gangs could do to coax or bulldoze them into dis- honest paths. It is to be borne in mind, however, that what has been attained is only an opportunity for a fair elec- tion and an honest count. It remains with the better element of the party in the various districts to de- termine whcther the opportunity shall be taken ad- | vantage of, or whether the bosses shall be left free to | carry out their programmes. The County Com- | mittee cannot do everything. The committee of eighteen can do no more than assure fair play to all. Unless honest Republicans come to the front and take ;an active part in the elections the victory after all will be with the bosses. g Such being the case, ‘it is the duty of honest Re- sentative men in every district. Not a single one should be left uncontested. The bosses should have no walkover anywhere. The fight should be made for true Republicanism all along the line and every stanch and loyal member of the party should share in it. There are ample reasons for believing that good tickets, carnestly supported by good men, can win in | every district in the city. All depends upon Repub- | licans themselves. The bosses are, of course, at work and will bring all their toughs and rounders to the polls. The better elements of the party must he | equally vigorous in bringing out the vote of all who are opposed to boss domination. ican oats to-day, and I believe the American people will never consent to haul it down. That flag | will rem The hand of God Almighty planted it | there.” ¢ | This discovery that the Almighty was in the busi- nailing the flag to the P Hearst so much that he not only printed it in his MG ppines delighted columns, but quoted it in his editorial. Some of the labor crganizations having deprecated expansion, on August 12 Hearst said in the Exam- | | | iner: “Under the circumstances we cannot see any- | thing but good for the American laborer as the resuit | of acquisition of the Philippines.” [ i i { | August 17 Hearst said: “With Manila in our han by right of conquest, it becomes more than ever im- possible to withdraw the American forces from the Philippines. The American flag must be nailed to the Philippine flagstaff,” and on the 20oth he said: “As for the Philippines, the obligations we have assumed there make it necessary that the American flag shall | be nailed to the staff from which,~by the valor of | Dewey %nd Merritt, it now flies.” | On ust 24 General Barnes made an extreme | expansion speech to the Republican State Conven- | tion and Hearst indorsed it, complimenting the Gen- | eral, that “he spoke for the broadest and most progres- sive of the thinking men of the country. When Bryan was notified and made his acceptance | <peech at Indianapolis, the most conspicuous thing in sight was Hearst’s advertisement of his newspapers. | He had streamers across all the main streets and plac- | ards on the backs and bellies of sandwich men and | streamers on carriages; through the city all space that could be spattered with a sign was taken up in glorify- ing and boasting of the “only three Democratic pa- | pers in the United States.” He was appealing for dimes to the very people whom he was denouncing two years before as “little Americans, Tories, copperheads and traitors.” He and “the hand of God” Morgan are jowl by jowl in supporting Bryan upon the paramount issue— the surrender of the' Philippines. If ever brazen hypocrisy relied on the short memory of the people this is a case of that kind. R Government is arranging to relieve Lord Rob- erts of command in South Africa and to depute to a general of lower rank and fewer years the “ha- rassing work of running down the scattered bands that are continuing the war for the independence of the Transvaal. It is very likely that these reports are true, for not only would such relief be a kindness to Roberts, but it would be good politics for the Min- istry in the elections which, it now appears assured, are to take place this fall. In a general election at this time it is certain a majority of Britsh voters will be affected more or less by the war in South Africa. On that score the Min- ry is fairly safe, but it has one point of weakness. The course of the war from start to finish has proven that the army administration has been bad for years past. The troops were sent to the field ill supplied and ill armed. The Boers, who were despised as a hali-educated lot of ill-trained farmers, showed them- selves better armed, better supplied with artillery and better commanded than the British, so that it was only by excess of numbers that even Roberts was able to prevail over them. Something will have to be done by the Ministers to assure the people of a better administration of the War Department hereaiter, or clse a good many Britons will vote against the Min- isterial candidates and pefhaps overthrow the Ministry tself. In this emergency the Ministers have an opportu- nity to make an effective political stroke. By relieving Roberts frem command in South Africa they can bring him home and give him the position of com- mander in chief of the army. By so doing they gat rid of Lord Wnlsefly and shift responsibility for the mistakes of the War Department. They can go to the country with a promise of army reorganization under the direction of the popular hero of the hour. They will get the credit of rewarding Roberts, and of in- tending to reform the army. They will also be able to claim that a complete victory has been gained in South Africa and point to Roberts’ return as an evi- dence that war is virtually over. While there is so much to be_gained by the recall of the field marshal there is nothing to be lost. The task of hunting down the Boers may be z long and ROBER{S TO BE RELIEVED. EPORTS from London are to the effect that the | will endanger the whole ticket. | be elected by Republican votes at least even if nomi- | cannot win on electiony day and therefore those Re- | should act now so as to keep the tools of corruption | market than he has had for years and it is hardly Every te and circumstan~e of the time prompts Republicans to revolt against the efforts of the South- ern Pacific and its allies to control the party in this city. It is known that any symptom of such control At this juncture, when it is so important to have an honest Legislatu-e, creatures of the typ= of Dibble and Wolfe cannot nated. That much has been shown clearly by the temper of the people and particularly by that of the better clement of the Republican party. Corruption publicans who desire to make a sweeping victory then out of the party convention. Long ago General S. W. Backus, writing to Dibble as a friend and warning him in vain against the course he was pursuing in the Legislature, said: “Now, Judge, you cannot afford to stand #n with these pirates. Association with Crimmins and Kelly means political death to you and the forfeiture of the good opinions of your thousands of friends throughout this | district. It means more: The Republican party is on | its last legs in this State if men like you fail to live up | to its high promises and permit its councils to be de- bauched by jobbers and corruptionists who have en- tered into secret league with Sam Rainey and the | devil.” Those words so true then are equally true now. The Republican party is on trial before the people of San Francisco. If the better elements abandon it | in the contest and permit the Mint Saloon boss and i his friends in the Southern Pacific law office and the | dives of the tenderloin to carry the primaries, it will | fare badly when election day comes. Therefore let all who love the party act now and act with the vim | ard vigor necessary for victor; fl prune situation is an all-absorbing topic among the growers of this valley. Leading packers estimate the crop of the State at 150,000,000 pounds for this year, some going as high as 175,000,000. Growers are more conservative in estimates and place the State’s yield at from 125,000,000 to 133,000,000 ! pounds. It is claimed that the output of Europe and America this year will be 100,000,000 pounds more than last year.” According to the best advices we have been able to obtain, the packers’ estimates are exaggerated, and even those of the growers are beyond the mark. They do not take into account the excessive shrinkage in drying, which has been thus far noted in the crop. For some cause the pruncs in almost every district have not only dropped earlier than usual, but have lost in weight when dried much more than the average oi past years. Thus a crop that shows large on the trees suffers a considerable shortage when it is dried | arid ready for the market. This appears from reports to be true also of the crop in France and the output there will not be nearly so large as has been expected. One feature of the San Jose dispatch is significant of a wholesome change in the prune business and is worth noting. In the estimates of the crop and of | probable prices, the dispatch quote not only the pack- ers, but the growers. It is evident therefore that the judgment of the grower has come to be an important factor in the market. He no longer has to ask of others what the price of his product is to be. - He has begun to have a voice in calculating the price and to exert some power in fixing it. Whether this improvement in the position of the grower be a result of the organization of the Cured Fruit Association or a coincidence merely, is a question that cannot be completely answered at this time. The fact itself, however, is the main point of satisfaction, whatever be the cause. The prune- grower has now a better position in relation to the PRUNE CROP ESTIMATES. LATE dispatch from San Jose says: “The probably he can fail to profit by it. When the Board of Education attempted to sus- pend a teacher for a year without trial or hearing it possibly forgot that some of its executive sessions emit an odor offensive enough to be ample substitute for the loudest protest. The bubonic Board - of Health ought to play its fumigators on the Schogl Board for the sake of the public health. l .’l“‘l‘H'Hlfllllllilllii-l--t--[—]q-l—l-l.’i"I1"i_iiii'iiilillli*l*#'ii.‘ii'llfii""l'l"l'm : INTERESTING TAL ES -~z - <= ABOUT ROYAL FOLKS @it e o e ] 0 public life of Great Britain during the last half century was Lord Playfair, of whom a sketch appears in the North American Review. The vast sanitary improve- technical instruction are due to Playfair more than to any other man. He originally suggested the adoption of open half-penny tween Great Britain and America when President Cleveland's Venezuelan message brought the two countries into dangerous antagonism. o+ oIt was while the Priince of Wales was living in Edinburgh, as Playfair's pupil in the application of -science to industry, that an interesting incident occurred. The two were standing WALES’ FAITH IN SCIENCE. ONE of the most honored and conspicuous figures in the ments which have taken place in England within thirty years and the evolution of the whole system of scientlfic and letters, now known as “post cards,” and he was largely instru- mental in suggesting the basis of an equitable agreement be- Among Playfair's students at the University of Edinburgh was the Prince of Wales, of whom a curious anecdote is toid: ?ea: a caldron containing lead, which was boiling at white heat. ‘Has your Royal Highness,' asked Playfair, ‘any faith in science? 3 i ‘Certainly," was the reply. layfair then carefully ‘washed the Prince's hands with nia to get rid of any grease that might be on them. Will you now place your hand in this boiling metal and ladle out a'portion of it?' said Playfair. 5 ‘Do you tell me to do this? asked the Prince. :1 do.’ was the answer. “The Prince instantly put his hand Into"the caldron and ladled out some of the hoiling lead without sustaining any in- jury. It is a well known scientific fact that the human hand, if perfectly cleaned, may be placed uninjured in lead boiling at a white heat, the moisture of the skin thec!lns it, under these conditions, from any injury. Should the lead be at a temperature perceptibly lower the effect would be of course Very different.” PRINCE REMEMBERED A PLAYMATE. Ten years ago, when the Crown Prince of Japan was in his thirteenth year, his Highness spent a summer at Futamiguara, Ise. While out in the water one day the Prince noticed a fish- erman’s boy of about the same age as himself, whose skill in swimming drew forth his admiration. The lowly vouth, whose name was Yei, was presented to the Prince, and there sprang up a friendship between the two. His Highness was once more back at Ise the other day, on his wedding tour, and the Prince thought of Yel. He wanted to see his old friend, and after a good deal of trouble the order was conveved to Yei, now grown & sturdy young man, but stil poor and lowly. In high delight the Prince talked freely of the past, and then allowed Yei to take leave of him loaded with various presents. @ “PLAIN SPOKEN" ENGLISHMAN. am oo oo mfeimiinintotulfnininl: | once in a second class compartment, the Portuguese King en- tered into conversation—the King speaks English fluently— witha typical, plain-spoken “John Buil.” “They seem to b making a deal of fuss over the King of Portugal, sir, Who v now in London. Have you seen him, might [ ask?’ “Yes, sir, I have; but he ain’t much of a King to look at. Why. sir. his'stomick ain’t no fatter and his face ain't no intellergenter than yours!” His Majesty said afterward that he could understand why the English people were called “plain spoken. THE KAISER'S ADVENTURE. The Kaiser recently told this yarn: “A few weeks ago, a{ I was going throush some of the smaller streets of Berlin, dropped into an outfitter’s shop and asked the man who was there to show me some ties. I soon picked out one wi a pattern that always pleases me, and. in fact, so often do I we‘ur this_colored tie that many of my subjects frequently recognize me by it. ‘I believe the Em\wror is very fond of this pallt’:;l'." 1 sald _to the shopman genia ‘Now, what do you think about it? ‘What do I think about it, eh, sir? Well, I think that he’s about the only “duffer” in all Germany who would wear l(.' LIFE OF THE GERMAN EMPRESS. “The German Empress,” writes a correspondent of the London Times, “leads a very regular life at Homburg.® Every morning she rides cut for two hours, and in the afternoon she anever fails to take a drive, generally accompanied by her sis- ter, the Duchess of Glucksburg. “Her Majesty Is having a strict course of the trntmenl} and bathes daily, as well as drinking a prescribed quantity of water brought for her use from the Elizabethen Brunnen. She hopes, on leaving Homburg, (o’ioln her yacht, the Induna, with her two youngest children, and enjoy a week or two cruising in the Baltic before she goes to Schloss Wilhelmshohe, near Cassel, for the rest of the summer.” ALBERT EDWARD'S HUMOR. Not so very long ago the Prince of Wales was present at the opening of a large charitable institution, says a correspond- ent. In the course of the ceremony the president chanced to raise his hat to salute the Prince, when to the crowd’s amuse- ment_his wig came off at the same time, leaving a perfectly bald head. That the Prince had taken due note of the mishap was evident several hours later at dinner. When proposing the president's health he lifted his glass. “To the worthy gresldent, who appears to grow younger instead of older every our. ALFONSO WILL BE RICH. According to the laws of Spain, the monarch becomes of age and succeeds to full power when he completes his eight- eenth year. Before Alfonso XIII reaches that age he will have traveled a great deal, as it is intended that he shall visit every court in Europe. Thus he will complete his education, whic is intended to fit him for the difficult position of the reigning | Jose is a guest of the Lick. | is here to enjoy the comforts of the Cali- | a bit of carvi The King of Portugal is more than rather corpulent. ing his short stay In England about three years ago he fre- quently took various little trips by train secretly, and accom- Traveling down to Hatfleld panied only by one of his suite. of Spain. Dur- Kl‘% He will be wealthy, as his state allowance is $1,400,000 per year, with various palaces, castles and villas to live in rent free, and during his minority savin still_effected, for the Queen Regent does not allow waste, and the home lifé of the Spanish court is simple. were and are PERSONAL MENTION. Dr. Powell of McMinnville is registered at the Lick. Judge A. Hewel of Modesto is a guest of the Lick. R. M. Green, a merchant of Oroville, is registered at the Grand. Captain W. H. McMinn of Mission San E. E. Bush, a well known speculator of Hanford, is stopping at the Lick. E. W. Cade, who represents the Santa Fe at Needles, Is stopping at the Lick. Dr. B. R. Ward, prominent in the U States navy, is a guest of the Palace. Benjamin Morgan, the well known min- ing man of Arizona, is stopping at the Oc- cidental. Charles B. Serventen, a prominent boni- face of Sonora, is in the city and making his headauarters at the Lick. Mre. William P. Harrington, prominent in soclety circles in this city and Colusa, is at the Palace, 'She is the wife of the | well known banker. E. T. Parsons and wife are at the Palace. Mr. Parsons is one of the lead- ing manufacturers of the Windy City and ited | fornia summer climate. —— CALIFORNIANS IN WASHINGTON WASHINGTON, Aug. 20.—A. V. Pease and wife are at the Raleigh: J. Seymour | and E. Hastings are at the St. James; F. M. Pennell and Tyler Henshaw are at the Shoreham, all of San Francisco. —_—————— CHINESE QUIZZING PARTY. A Tip_ for the Young Hostess Who | ‘Would Be Up to Date. The young hostess who would be up to date should invite her friends to a Chi- nese porch party. The decorations are easily managed—lighted Chinese lanterns, fans in profusion, Chinese bowls of flow- ers on little stands, with the porch mats and bamboo chairs are enough. Cards, with the figure of a Chinaman in a char- acteristic attitude sketched in one corner, and pencils are given to the guests, who are told that each question asked must be answered by some name or expression often heard in connection with China and the fighting there. The loud report of a cannon cracker is the signal for attention, and after asking each question the hostess slowly unties from a bunch, lights and tosses out into the darkness a little one, the explosion of | which is a token that time is yp and an- other query about to be put. Fourteen questions and answers are given here, but other and better ones can easily be found: 1. What two letters are most popular in China? Tea and cue, 2. What is proof that the eyes of the Mongolians are open at last? The Yellow ea. 3. Through what? The open door. 4. When the powers get hold of the Em~ ess Dowager what will they catch? A Hittor. to China u. 5. 1f you are anxious to go what will the Government do? Taku. 6. Then what will you be in? Trans- orts. PSWhat couldn’t the Empress Dowager govern? China proger. 8. When the Empress makes the Em- peror cry what would he like to do? Box- er. 9. What sort of a %'reat wall are the owers likely to build in the flowery ? A partition of China. 10. How is it to be expected that the ghlnlese will take reverses and ‘victories? oolly. 11. it the Chinese were Spaniards what would they call the stories of American heroism in China? Pig tails. 13. What sort of an army ought to reach Peking the quickest? A Russian army. 14. There are Chinese politicians that don’t _care for Earl, but who would like what? Old Li Hung. 7 The explosion of a whole bunch of crackers marks the close, and while the cards are being looked over with a view to finding the most correct answers re- freshments are served. There must be tea, of course, even though it is iced; and there should be something that can eaten with chopsticks. ‘WhetkLer the prize is a fan, or a jar, or ivory, depends upon the taste of the hostess—and also upon her purse. LI HUNG CHANG'S COFFIN. Li Hung Chang’s coffin was recently put up at auction in Marseilles, but there was no bidder. It will be remembered that during his tour of the globe in 1896 Li carried with him wherever he went a coffin, in which, in case of his death, his remains were to be sent back to China. Upon embarking for home at Marseilles the Celestial statesman concluded that it was unnecessary to take the coffin with him, and left it at the hotel. The hotel proprietor turned it over to the customs officials, and it has just figured in the eriodical sale of unclaim property.— Flew York Advertiser. FREE ADVICE FROM A SUCCESS- . FUL MAN. “If you had saved your money,” re- marked the pedestrian, ‘‘you wouldn't be obliged to ask me for money."” “I know it, mister,” answered Meander- ing Mike, “but I wouldn't of missed de distinguished pleasure of dis conversation fur anyt'ing.”"—Washington Star. NOT HEADQUARTERS. SWhat 4id her father say? 1 lnLi‘ Deater. | “He said he couldn’t un came to him—all his wife's name."—Cleveland A CHANCE TO SMILE. THE FUNERAL. Employer—Was much feeling shown at your grandmother's funeral? Bookkeeper—Yes; they mobbed the um- pire.—Harper's Bazar. RAISING TNDS. The local paper of Smithville, a village not far from Cihcinnati. contained this note the other day: “There will be an icecream supper given by Mrs. Susan Howard next Tuesday night, July 3, in the Christian church grove, to assist in raising funds for the funeral expenses of her husband.” If a man must die there is nothing like leaving a loving widow.— Louisville Courie The trembling Boxer knelt before Li Hung Chang and strove to explain mat- ters. “I must have lost my head. I see no other reason why 1 engaged in the up- rising, O Son of the Blue Sky,” he wailed. “You are a trifle off in your grammar, interposed Li. “You should say, ‘T will have lost my head.'" And the execu- tioner stepped forward at the proper sig- nal.—Baltimore American. HIS REVENGE. Judge—So the prisoner hit you on the head with a brick. did he? McGinty—Yes, yer Honor. FOR CALL READERS. The census of White Plains, N. Y., shows more dogs than people. The Brooklyn bridge pays the ecity a profit of $150,000 a year, or $400 per day. The foreign population of Shanghal last May was 6774, of which 52 were Ameri- can All the flowers of the Arctic region are either white or yellow, and there are 762 varietles. A French physician, Dr. Hervieux, has made investigations which indicate that flies spread smallpox. Boats are to be propelled between Day- ton and Cincinnatt and Dayton and Toledo by electricity on canals. A French engineer is trying to apply air_in such a way to machinery as to make It serve as a lubricator. An English curate has been dismissed bec#use he is a pOOr cricket player, thouga no,fault was found with his theology. Sheffleld s the smokiest city in Eng- land. In proportion to its size it con- S\Im?s eight times as much coal as Lon- on. The skin of elepbant Charlie, killed in | Crystal Palace, London, weighéd a ton— {us]l”nne-!ounh of tue weight of the beast n life. | Kansas will in 1904 celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of her admission into the Union as a Territory by holding an Inter- State exposition in Topeka. Railway whistles inflict torture on many people that Austria has introduc a system of silent signaling to start a stop the trains. Belgium i® {rying com- 1 Judge—But it seems he didn't quite kill | pressed air whistles instead of steam, and 0, bad 'cess to him; but it's wishin' he had, Oi do be. Judge—Why do you wish that? McGinty—Begorry. thin Oif would ha: seen the scoundrel hanged for murther Tit-Bits. NOW HIS TURN COMES. Some people call the man who shot the Niagara rapids a fool, and he can return the compliment when they begin to b tickets to the museum to see him.—Chi- | cago Record. HAPPY THE }I()‘O'SR]. D WHO CAN Mr. Kawdle—I wish you wouldn't inter- rupt me every time I try to say some- thing. Do I ever break in when you are talking? Mrs. Kawdle—No, you wretch, you go to sleep!—Chicago Tribune. WHEN STREET PIANOS PLAY IT! The public should bear in mind the fact that there is constant danger of the “On to Peking” cry being set to music.—Wash- ington Post. B+ o2 e e oedotose® FASHION HINT FROM PARIS. l R deat e R R B e ] R S S S S i S o D e e e O R L e e ST S Y s MUSLIN PETTICOAT. The petticoat represented in the illus- tration is of white muslin, embroidered with vine sprays and bunches of grapes over a foundation of pink silk. @t the bottom are flounces of lace p.hr.‘d over | Ritizens’ of muslin, O man hows of Tibbon. . | Germany experiments with horns. Kodaks are being gised In collecting evi- dence against salmfikee ers in Corning, Y., charged with violating the excise Snapshots of prominent citizens en- tering an departing from the saloons | bave been secured, and in consequence | Corning is in an uproar. By MEAN MAN TAUGHT A LESSON. Robert Carrick, one of the richest bank- ers of Scotland, a few generations ago. was as mean as he was wealthy. Being one day visited by a deputation collec:- ing subscriptions toward a new hospital, | he signed for two guineas, and one of the | gentlemen expressing disappointment at | the smallness of the amount, he sald: | “Really, I eannot afford more.” | The deputation next visited Wilson, one of the largest manufacturers in the city, who, on seeing the list, cried: ‘“What, Carrick only two guineas?” When Informed of what the banker had said, Wilson said: “Wait; I will give him a lesson.” Taking his checkbook he filled in a check for £10,000. the full amount of his deposit at Carrick’s bank, and sent it for immediate payment. Five minutes later the banker ppeared breathless. and asked: “What s the mac: er, n?"" Nothing the matter with me,” led Wilson; “but these gntlemen informed me that vou couldn’t afford more than two guineas for the hospital. Hallo! thinks I, if that’s the case there must be something wrong, and I'll get my money out as soon as_possible.” Carrick took the subscription list, erased the two guineas and stipulated fifty, on w;‘hicil Wilson immediately tore up his check. _— e —— EVILS OF SHORTSIGHTEDNESS. “Briggs is dreadfully* nearsighted. You know that hat his wife wears with ail those black plumes in it?” “Yes, I've seen it.” “Well, Briggs thought it was the head of a feather duster, and he tied it to his (;lne and had bl'ushflill a logeizf th;?: "el?: rom the rch celling ore caught h|lnp'll it."—St. Louis Globe-Dem- ocrat. —_———————— Cal. glace fruit 50c per Ib at Townsend's® —_——— Special information supplied dally to business houses and public men Press Clipping Bureau (Allen’s). 510 . gomery st. ‘elephone Main 1042. . A shark In a Florida river met a 400- pound turtle and tried to swallow it, tafl first. The turtle extended his forward flippers and the shark. after repeated ef- forts to get him down, was reluctantly compelled to turn the rascal out. —_————— Chicago and Return $72 50. Tickets on sale August 21 and 22, good for return within sixty days. Only. % hours to Chicago on the “‘Overland Limited.” via the Union Pactfic Ratlway. 1 Montgomery st., San Franeisco. —_———— The Santa Fe will sell tickets to Chicago and return on August 21 and 22 at the very low rate of §12 50, good for sixty days. This is g very low rate and s open for all. They winl tell you all about it at 623 Market st. —— i Dr. Sanford’s Liver Invigorator, The best liver medicine. A vegetable cure for liver billousness. ind!zestion. constipation, s —_——— * I Dr. Slegert’s Ansostura Bitters, the world nowned South American appetizer and lnvs.:: ator. cures dyspepsia. diarrhoea, fever and ague. LOANS ON DEFINITE CONTRACT. INSTALLMENT PLAN. $1265 a month pays $1000 years: nfi“ —— e lflhu—w 5 MONTGOMERY A