The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, September 2, 1899, Page 6

o THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 2, 1899 SATURDAY JOHN D. SPRECKELS, Proprietor Address All Communications to W. S. LEAKE, Manager. _Market and Third Sts., S. F in 1868, FUBLICATION OFF EDITORIAL ROOM 1874, ples wil rwarded when 908 Broadway OAKLAND OFFICE C. GEORG KROGNESS, Manager Foreign Ad i . Marquette Building, T erald Square NEW YORK CORRESPONDE C. €. CARLTON NEW YORK REPRESENTATIVE : PERRY LUKENS JR 29 Tribune Building CHICAGO NEWS STANDS House; P. O. News Co.; Great Northern Hotel; se; Audit Hotel NEWS STANDS, N W YORK Hot ria A. Brentano, 81 Unlon Square; WASHINGTON (D. C.) OFFICE Wellington Hotel d. L. ENGLISH, Correspondent. BRANCH OFFICE 597 Montgomery street, corner Clay. 1 9:30 o'clock. 300 Hayes street. open until 639 McAllister street. open until 9:30 Larkin street, open untll 9:30 o'clock reet, open until 10 o'clock. 226! Market Sixteenth, open until 9 o'clock. 1096 street, open until 9 o'clock. 106 Eleventh n until 9 oclock. NW. corner Twenty- nd Kentucky str open until 9 o'clock. 1 Mission corner AMUSEMENTS. Vaudeville every afternoon & g i c claltles. M S. Croshy Philippine Ex THE GRAND JURY AND ITS WORK. YROM tt nal report submitted by the Grand [ ] [ obtains ha than a c n s al the commer be , but the dis- ¢ e waived as a matter of little con- Grand Jury has taken no ac- not expect too much, the re as report says, while powers are conferred upon a pered by considerations often 3 t proceed in accord- nce v. It n indict o eral prin « sworn t y weigh the evidence any given case and to find an judgment the testimor el fully t in conviction may mitted, but stand the test i r 1s Shand otk sted culpability of some of the was o« ns were sold and that the city was defr iny ways, but its best efforts ¢ f ) ictment There d e o ent Board of S 1 ¢ pe enced in the discharge of i i ances of bribery and corrup t the ire no sses save the giver and the taker wh would d transaction ping to i is wholly use ss, as such expenditures, all, are care fu vered statement wil accepted as an exon- T o discussion concerning the e of gra I administration of law in v the tions of the late B « ier consideration there were blished in The Call ts 1 fraud in lumber and other peared the easiest cient to ition of the ac- idence rs of aind the Grand h anything in that ulting from the lar indigna- ought about owing election br e old gz he Grand Jury may be { power to do so criticism npon county af- | i to issue of the inks some of the me Education were 3 present Board of Super- have properly influenced in the dis- ge of their duties, that prize-fig ts are debasing d should not be permitted, that there is something very peculiar about the la pt from indictmen ccepts a bribe for granting positions in 1 finally we are informed exhibitions which ren- ders bder who ficial the schools, ar “The mem- bers of the present jury have shown a t any one who was found to_ be indictable. Their iom has almost without exceptton been unanimous, They have been more than willing—they have been bring to the bar any offender. much is expected pf a Grand Jury; dence is placed in it. anxious—to Too If properly aided it can do if leit to do all it can do little.” The only conclusion to he drawn from it all is that much; s the matter stands the most energetic Grand Jury that can be drawn could accomplish little or nothing. attention has been directed anew to a great . and for that, at any rate, the Grand Jury de- serves thanks. ev for felony a school of- | | readiness to too little confi- | REED'S SIDE OF IT. HILE it is no doubt true that there is to be \VH change in the rules of the House of Repre- sentatives, the change is by no means a re- | turn to the old system, which put the House at the mercy of one man on the floor and left the majority and the Speaker helpless. An incautious boast of Roger Q. Mills at the beginning of the long session in December, 1880, caused the revolution effected by Speaker Reed. Mr. Mills declared that the minority would use the rules of the House to prevent any tariff legislation by the Republican majority. This could be done by the system of alternating motions W by r to rollcall when “No quorum” was raised. so small that to keep a quorum in place was difficult if the strong minority broke it by “constructive ab- that is, by refusing to answer when called. Reed’s move was bold and required the nerve and coolness of a leader of men. The rules had to be changed in erder to defeat the plan of Mr. Mills, but their change was impossible unless the Republican sjority of a quorum could be made effective. When the changed rules were before the House, with a Jjority of Republicans present but not a majority of the whole House, Reed ordered a count of the members present, not by a rollcall but by tally of He then put the question and the rules ed by the vote of the Republican major- ity of a quorum, the refusing to vote. Reed’s act was purely arbitrary, but without it the would have continued, and by filibustering with the alternating motions and constructive ab- sence of silent members who were physically present the actual majority of the House would have re- mained powerless. In a preceding session, on the question of the erection of Oklahoma into a Terri- tory, Weaver of Towa held the House for days by filibustering, and declared that as under the rules one man could run the House he proposed to fusing a answer The Republ an majority W sence,” T members. were cha minority old way General be that one r 1. Nothing in our parliamentary his tory had equaled the rage and bitterness with which Reed was attacked by the minority. He was threat- ened, derided, denounced and criticized even by mem- 1y of whom doubted the propriety of ut he went serenely through it all, and was not ruifled even when Buck Kilgore kicked down one of the doors of the cham- ber to escape arrest by the sergeant-at-arms bers of his own party, ma his action. When he made any reply to the abuse which raged »und him it was by humor, satire or epigram. The case went to the country in the Congressional clections of 18g¢ 1d the Republicans were swept out of the House, The Democrats elected a majority so large that the Republican and Populist members couid all absent themselves and the Democrats had a major so largely in excess of a quorum that the absentees were not missed. Mr. sp was elected Speaker, and then followed the humiliating spectacle i rge party majority being so inattentive to its duty that, to transact the public business at all, the Speaker was compelled to resort to a modification The very vers who when candidates had to the people de- Reed with matchless bitterness, by their in- of Reed's rules in order to get legislation. nounc attention fo their duty proved the necessity for the change he made in procedure. \When he returned to The on the Speakership his-rules were elaborated. House authorized him to appoint a Committee Rul the should ¢ , which practically took charge of the business House. Tt arranged the order in which bi the time given to their discussion, the share allotted to the n me up ajority and minority, and the hour at which a vote should be taken after when Reed was attacked for the action of this committee he turned upon his tormentors by remind ing them that it was the action of the majority of the House which ordered the constitution of the com- mittee. While this was true, the charge remained that the majority had abdic. ol b; committe ated its function of self authorizing the Speaker to appoint th As understood the proposed change by the next House will involve the appoi nt of this commit- All the other features of the proposed are minor in their importance. The the first hange iz to recognize member who rises is expected that this will ir 7 members and not given to quiet and calmness this amounts to but little. It Reed’s time, but “catching the Speaker’s eye” was often difficult. -Upon this the late Ned Mar- shall of California reflected when he wz 1851. House. But in a body composed of was the system lorig in use before very a member in Linn Boyd was Speaker. Marshall's ca- pacity for social enjoyment had so abridged his de- votion to official duty that his term neared its end without a rd the floor. After trying every day of the closing fortnight of the short ses- sion to get recognition he turned one day to the House and rec. made on id, “I have been in Washington two vears and have caught everything but the Speaker's 3! In that he is likely to have victims. many fellow The significance of the proposed change is that it | jadheres to the purpose Reed had in effecting the | o inal revolution by leaving the control of legisla- tion in the keeping of the majority, by giving it the clection of a committee with the same powers as his Committee on Rules. It is not understood that the change will reopen the door to filibustering by re- storing the alternating or dilatory motions. e r——— Philadelphia is selfish. In fitti supplies for the relie g out a cargo of of Porto Rico care was taken to fill the ship so full that not so much as a bag of beans from another city could be put aboard. That kind of selfishness, however, is not a kind to be ashamed of, and the Phillies know it, for they are bragging of it. ; The Democrats of Ohi6 have nominated John R. MecLean for Governor by half a vote. r The fortunate nominee will probably look long and vainly for the other half that would mean an clection. "THE WHANGDOODLE ROARETH. ASTERN Democrats conducting = their opposition to Bryan with the quiet, persistent energy that marks a people of business in- &tincts and who trust to organization rather than to tai}. Squthern Democrats of the conservative type carry on their con against him with the gravity of constitutional lawyers arguing much and trusting to their powers of moral suasion to turn their people into right paths; but in the roaring region of the vast valley of the Mississippi, where the people arc too vehement to argue like Southerners and too out- are | spoken to plot like Easterners, the fight upon Bryan is made in a loud, prolonged clamor for another man, jand the noise of it is as the tumult that prevails in 1ere is something radically wrong with our laws for | prosccution and punishment of corrupt officials. the land where the whangdoodle roareth. The St. Paul Globe utters.its, siren shriek in this wise: “Sailing over the sea from the Far East is the colossal living figure of American history, a man with a hand of iron, a heart of exquisite tenderness and a sense, of honor which has led him through There- | tee by the House itseli, taking from the Speaker the | rease the freedom of the | more than threescore years along tlie path of eternal | start a newspaper. . right. The Democratic party has but to make this man the magnet of the campaign upon a platform of living principles, the central planks of which shall be death to the trusts and autonomy for the Philippines, Cuba and Porto Rico. Upon this platform can stand the most popular man of the Western Hemis- phere, the idol of the greatest nation on earth, George Dewey, hero of Manila Bay and admiral of the American navy.” It is known of course to the Globe as to the rest of Americans that Dewey is not a Democrat, that he is not a candidate for the Presidency, that he has announced that he would not accept a nomination for the office; but to the Globe all that does not matter. The one thing it seeks at this time is to turn Demo- cratic attention away from Bryan. If once the wild steers can be stampeded from the corral of the free silver man it will be comparatively easy to herd them into some other corral later on. The thing now is to start the break, It is for that teason Tammany plots, the South argues and the wild call for Dewey comes from the uproarious West. In the meantime it will be noted Bryan is in no way disturbed. He meets the plots of the East by counterplots with silver mine owners, he refutes the arguments of the conservative South with arguments much more plausible to the masses, and, as for the Western clamor, it jars him not at all, for he is to the manner born, native to the noises, being the greatest whang- doodle of the district. It is the opinion of the Boston Globe that in the trial and conviction of General Fitz John Porter during the war we had a Dreyfus case ourselves— one in which a gross injustice was done an innocent man for the purpose of providing a scapegoat for other generals; and it therefore suggests we shouldn’t be too free in throwing stones at France, all of which is unkind, because the stune-throwing doesn’t hurt France in the least and amuses us great deal. a e e ——— HEN Chase was Secretary of the Treasury WOMEN IN CIVIL SERVICE. W women were first employed as Government clerks in that department. This their first appearance in the public service. Opinions as to the uti | the civil service law passed they had appeared in all | of the departments in Washington. As their ap- was | | appointing officers, that they continued to be called | to positions was taken as evidence of their efficiency and usefulness. In the currency department of the treasury they were found especially expert. Required to handle and eount old bills in the division of re- demption and new ones in the division of reissue, they were found to be more rapid, reliable and cor- rect workers than men. As stenographers and type- writers they seemed to fill confidential positions very well. They were less diverted by outside matters than men, and were less liable to the errors dis- sipation, gambling and other peccadilloes which lead finally to breaches of public trust. them are now in the civil service, Thousands of and multiplied thousands are dependent on them for support. It is reported, however, that appointing officers have ceased to call for them as vacancies or new places have to be filled, and those in the service find advancement no longer possible, while those on the( eligible list, qualified by their exami ation, are ex cluded by a call for men whenever those lists are re- It seems that the civil service law per- mits this discrimination and this permission is gen- erally taken advantage of. Inasmuch as the entry of women upon service in the Federal offices preceded their general employthent in private service, in mercantile lines and profes- sorted to. | | sional“offices, this spontaneous movement toward official exctusion may mean a general revulsion against the employment of women in service outside | the public offices. The movement for their admi sion to both kinds of employment was not concerted. It had no preceding cult. It had no pressure of ne- cessity, unless eligible men were made scarce by the | Civil War. Is it possible that the same way, spontancously and without concert, the reaction has | set in, and that its progress will largely exclude | women from occupations and employments that are in | now open to them? As it has progressed in the Gov- : | ernment departments nothing has been said about it until now its headway has attracted attention. The only reason so far given is that women are more inclined to routine and do not turn their hands from one activity to another as readily as men, and that they are averse to overwork and complain more than men when it is required of them. 3ut it is strange that these objections have just now developed after a trial of a third of "a century, during which they have been in the service in such numbers as to have seriously impeded public business by the manifestation of either trait service of many men in the late war has disconnected are compelled to resort to the civil service of the Government for a living. If this turn out to be the case another reason is supplied why women should | No satisfactory reason has ever been given why | women at the first sign of a chance for a war go wild in New York who joined in the nagging of President McKinley, just before the Spanish war, by sending , him the inelegant telegram, “To hell with diplomacy, furnished an illustration of this tendency of female taste toward battle and bloodshed. As the matter is becoming serious, it deserves an intelligent inquiry into this policy of exclusion of women from public employment, for which they have proven themselves legally qualified. To prevent it an amendment to the civil service law may be necessary which will forbid any discrimination by an appoint- ing officer. If the movement be one of artifice and design, this will check it. If, however, its cause be natural, some- thing inherent in the nature of things, such an amend- ment will probably increase the trouble, since noth- ing is easier than to drive women out of employment by an offensive course which cannot be charged with cither vulgagity or indecency. Some of the French generals who have made themselves ridiculous at the court-martial of Drey- fus insist that they have the right to defend them- . selves. They probably do not recognize the differ- ence between a right and the ability to exercise it. The Sultan of Turkey is not noted as a wit, but he caused a smile recently by telling a party of British dignitaries he Iikes the Swiss better than any other people in Europe, because they attend to their own business and send no Embassadors to his court. To judge from the clamors in our Eastern ex- changes over the rise in the meat market, the price has been put up so high the mercury can’t reach it. The long-felt want of the campaign against the Filipinos is to be filled at last. General Otis is to ity of the innovation differed, but even before | pointment was then a matter of free choice with the | Probably, if the truth were known, the military | in favor of bringing it on. The class of young ladies | the | | | | | | | | 1 | SN AROUND THE them from their former gainful vocations and they | re Staving at the Occldental. o 2 . | from Los Angeles and are registered at oppose war instead of being the first to urge it on. HOUSE BUILT ENTIRELY BY WOMEN. (New York Exchange.) HREE Chicago women are building a house. It isn't a shammy, summer cot- tage either, but a brick house and stone foundation. The women—Mrs. Franz Liebegut and her two daughters, Marle, .8, and “Gustie;’ 16—are doing every bit of the work, from digging and cementing the cellar to making mortar and laying the bricks of the walls. Tt is such a departure from the way that Chicago women usually win notor- fety that the whole northwest part of the city is talking about the house that | women are building. It has now become such an object of | curiosity that the Elston-avenue street- | cars stop at Humboldt boulevard to let | the passengers get oft and watch the | women at their work. They are always at it from dawn till sunset, mixing the mortar themselves, cleaning the brick, tossing it up, carrying buckets of mortar, laying brick, sawing | timber, doing the whole thing with as much unconcern as though bullding a! <SS N \’F'l\‘f LAY house weren't any more for women to do hing clothes or baking bread. ave already completed the first story and are putting in the window frames for the second. It will be more solidly built than many of the Chicago houses, for the reason that the walls are three brick deep and no laths at all are used. If th are going it slowly, they are doing it surely. Tt takes German women to do heavy solld work, but even German girls with the spunk and muscle to huild their own house are not found every day. MEMBER OF CASTRO FAMILY RESENTS UNTRUTHS IN EXAMINER Sensational Article Printed in That Journal on Sunday Last Character- ized as “Vulgar, Impertinent and Untruthful.” Editor The Call, San Franci through the columns of your “history” inserted by Carroll ¢ On the first page of that y the Police Gazette stamp, a so-called hi tional sketch we, th the once powerful family, forced to earn aper, the Will you arrington in la per appeared, embel Aranos, are represented as a poverty APTOS, Cal., Aug. 30, 18 kindly allow me to contradict, nent and untruthful s Examiner? ed with lurid pictures of In the sensa- of vulg: tory of the Castro family. tricken remnant our bread by coarse manual labor. To use the writer's own elegant phraseology, he ‘“sloshes around” in a mess and absolute untruths of garbled fact specially to the penny-a-liner. in a manner As to stating the real facts, we do not consider that seems to belong that the public are sufficiently interested in the private affairs of our family to follow a detailed account of the daily routine of our quiet s that the highly imaginative Mr. particular prov dreams dreams—h tub, while extremely respectable task is p have been with us for 1s graphic account of picturesque. formed by one of ears, happens to be absolutely untrue. life. One item in Carrington has visions and “the high-born dames” over the wash- That most the sturdy and faithful servants who In conclusion let me beg the very sympathetic Mr. Carrington not to waste any more of his maudlin sympathy or unique ability in the historical line on the Aranos, who ars misdirected energy should be turned to decent regard for the private rights of If—and to the persecuted public. amply able to take Very truly yours, care of themselves. If some of his the cultivation of common sense and others, it would prove a blessing to AMELIA ARANO. POSTAGE ON SUNDAY CALL. SUNDAY CALL wrapped ready for mailing—postage 2¢ to all points in United States, Canada and Mexico, and 4c to all for- eign points. CORRIDORS R. Robertson, the proprietor of Gilroy Hot Springs, is staying at the Lick. Daniel Brown Jr., the Fresno banker, is among the recent arrivals at the Lick, Harvey Lloyd, a wealthy land owner and fruit raiser of Riverside, is a guest at the Palac 0. Y. Woodward, a rancher and capi- talist of Staten Island, is at the Grand accompanied by his wife. C. D. Wright, one of the leading and most Influential gf San Jose's attorneys, is registered at fhe Lick. Harris A. Walters of Washington, D. a guest at the Palace, where he arrived yesterday morning. Mr. and Mrs. A. M. Lemore have comé down to the city from Mare Island and J. M. Willlams, a prominent mining man of Plymouth, is one of those who arrived at the Grand yesterday. M. A. and E. A. Luce have come up the Occidental for city. Among the late arrivals who have reg- istered at the Palace are Mr. and Mrs. W. A, Dickey of Baltimore. They are out on the coast on pleasure bent and are accompanied by their family. Ernest Seymer, assistant superintend- ent of telegraph of the Southern Pacifig, is entertaining at his home, 912 Bush street, Mr. Ellis, a prominent young at- torney and influential politiclan of New Orleans. Mr. Ellis is here for health and recreation and will probably remain for some tme K e CALIFORNIANS IN NEW YORK. NEW YORK, Sept. 1.—William J. Din- gee and wife and Miss M. E. Rose of San Francisco are at the Fifth Avenue; George L. Fish and wife and Miss Smith of San Francisco are at the Hoffman; Irving Crowell and wife of Los Angeles are at the Imperial. —_——————— ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. SILK RIBBON-—H. a short stay in the C., City. There is no silk ribbon factory in San Francisco. WIDE TIRE LAW—U. §. G. C., City. The wide tire law of California goes into EXPLOSIVE—H. C., City. There are liquids which, if they come in contact, will ecause an explosion, as for instance sulphuric acld and nitro-glycerine. THE FIRST REGIMENT-R. E. P., City. No statistics have yet been pub- lished showing the natlvity of the men who enlisted in the California volunteers, First Regiment. A TEN-DOLLAR PIECE—Subscriber, Sutter Creek, Cal. A ten-dollar piece without the mint mark coined in 1849 was issued out of the parent mint at Phila- delphia. It does not command a pre- mium from dealers. The selling price 18 from $7 50 to $8 50, MILES AND SHAFTER—A. F. B., Oak- land, Cal. General Miles is the senior ma- Jor general of the United States army and by reason of this is in command. but is _not the commander in chief, for that office belongs to the President of the United States. He is not in line with the Secretary of War. His title is major gen- eral, United States army. General Shaf- ter is a major general. FLAGS—C. E. P.,, Vacaville, Cal. A flag on a 40-foot pole should not be wider than one-fourth of the length of the pole. Its length may vary from fifteen to twen- ty feet, that being regulated by the width. EGISTERING—A. 8., City. A man does ot lose his residence in California by reason of the fact that he is employed in the army or navy of the United States, but he cannot vote in the place which he claims as his residence unless he regis- tered. TRANSVAAL—H. V., City. The list of diplomatic officers in the United States does not show that there is a representa- tive for the Transvaal. A letter addressed to Stephanus J. Paul Kruger, Pretoria, will reach the President of the Transvaal republic. WEIGHTS OF A CLOCK—H. C. M, Bodega, Cal. In a clock that is run by weights the machinery is adjusted to move in accordance with the weight fixed and the pendulum moves fast or slow ac- cording to the manner by which the regu- lator is set. It is the regulator that ac- celerates or decreases the strokes of a pendulum and not the weights. GRAND JURY—W,, City. Your question relative to the power of a Grand Jury to reconsider its action in relation to the finding of an indictment before the same has been presented to the court is one that ought to be submitted to the District Attorney. who is the legal adviser of the Grand Jury. This department does not undertake to decide questions of law. INSUFFICIENT POSTAGE—W., City. If a letter is placed in an envelope with- out sufficient postage and deposited In the mail the general rule is to notify the party addressed that there is a letter at the Postoffice held for lack of sufficient postaze and the party addressed can ob- tain the same on payment of the postage due. A ‘‘postage due’ slampdmri(‘flflng the amount is affixed on the letter. In cases of well-known business firms the letter is dellvered with a postage due stamp affixed and that is chargp§ up to the acccunt of the firm. In the case of such a letter being addressed to a well- known householder it is placed in the hands of the carrier, who collects the amount due. If a carrier deposited such a letter in the householder’'s box without collecting he would be held responsible for the amount. ———— FREAKS OF THE LAW. Attorney General’s Opinion as to Em- ployment of Teachers. Superintendent of Public Instruction Thomas J. Kirk has been puzzling his brains over a question that has been asked of him. The query was, “Can a wife be legally employed as a school teacher by a board of which her husband lfs a member?” Not arriving at a satis- actory conclusion he submitted the in- quiry to Attorney General Ford, Thg ,;’é_ ter in an opinion quoted the code, which states that “No school trustee or mem- ber of any. Board of Education must be interested in any contract made by the board of which he is a member. Any con- tract made in violation of this provision is void.” He contends that the engagin of a teacher’'s services is a contract, an further calls attention to the rulings. of the Supreme Court to the effect that the earnings of a wife while she is living with Ler husband are community prop. erty, and the husband has the manage- ment and control of all community prop- erty. Hence the employment of a teacher living with her husband, who Is a trustee, is {llegal. In cage the husband and wife are separated,, though not divorced, it is difterent, for dinder ihe law the earnings vife are under h, Vi other’s control. A Superintendent Kirk evidently antici- pated some such opinion a asked another question and !¥§|sétf":v;;e Would the employment of a daughter as a teacher by a board of which her father is a member be legal?" r. Ford con- tends tbat it would. Before a daughter could be employed she would have to be of the legal age of 18 years, ‘and conse- quently she would have adsolute control of her own earnings and her father could have no interest.in her earnings and her employment would be lawful, | have KING'S DAUGHTERS IN QUAINT DRESS “CHARACTER CONCERT” NETS A SNUG FUND. History, Ancient Verse and Modern Song Unite in Contributing to the Original and Successful Entertainment. The King's Daughters of the California- street Methodist Episcopal Church, at the o of California and Broderick streets, » delightful ‘‘character con in the lecture room of the church last even- ing that entertained ge assemblage and added mater o the Daughte fund. Mrs. L. O. Hodgkins managed the affair, and contrived to make as well as amu was introduced by in a few apt remarks cov who history of either the period, the event or the character the performer represented. All the participants wore appropriate costumes, and made a very pretty ensem- ble. picture in their characteris dress and make-up. Some of the ‘‘characters” told their tale in verse, but the majority natory Song. follows: had an appropriate and expl The programme.in full was the Columt from United Mr: Baumegarten:; “Th Dairy s Edith _Atthow “‘Aunt Dinah Miss Hattie Burke; Maid from the Mikado Realm,” Gertrude Atthow “Smiling from the Ea Miss Janet McLi “The Flower Girl,” M ellie 14 “Old Mother Goos M Amanda Goodrich; ““An Honest Miner from the E lestial Maiden, ; ““Coming Thro’ the R; Charlotte Weir; *‘Sailor Atthow: “‘Bright ckman; Miss Ida Mc Harry Burke: Mrs. J. H. Nerthon: ‘“‘He Monroe Orr; “The Blacksmi Marrack: ‘“Admiral Dewe Bates: “Wa i Wetmor: die Burke .tha Flagg. as accompan LATEST STORIES of the FUNNY MAN. No Thrashing Machines. “I think it would be a good plan to send Willie up into the country for a month,” suggested Willie father. “He's never been on a farm and it would be rather a novel experience for him."” No, you don't,” interrupted Willie, “I've heard all about the country, and I'm not going anywhere where they thrashing machines. It's bad enough when it's done by hand.”—Chi- cago Post. —_— His Financial Resources. George (of the vanishing goods de- partment)—Well, what do you say, Bella? Bella (of the handkerchief depart- ment)—I like you well enough, George, but how can you afford to marry on $6 a week? George—My six and-your four rhake ten. I'reckon I can afford to, marry on $10 a week if I want to, Bella? True to His Text. Fijjit—What is the noise in the xt room? The Housemaid—Oh, it's the parson re- hearsing his sermon for to-morrow. Mrs. Fijjit—Oh, T see; practicing what he preaches.—Tit-Bits, ““Hello, Smith; suppose a man marries his first wife's step-sister’s aunt, what relation is he to her? “'First—wife—um—step-aunt—er—let see; 1 don’t kno Bright Fellow—He" change. She—What did pa say He—I asked his consent to our marriage by telephone, and he replied: “I don't know who you are, but it's all right.”"— Exchange. —————— Townsend'’s California glace fruits 50c 1b, in artistic fire-etched boxes or Japanese baskets. 627 Market st., Palace Hotel bldg.* me her husband.—Ex- Special information supplied daily to business houses and public men by the Press Clipping Bureau (Allen’s), 510 Mont- gomery Street. Telephone Main 1042, * —_———— Divorce Suits Filed. Suits for divorce have been filed by (ATlnle Apple against Samuel Apple for ailure to provide: Julle Pullen agains: E;}wurfl £ Pullenifnr cruelty. and Sera: ine . ay agains: V. y Faiilure to provide, "+ | ranik W. Day for —_———— Persons alflicted with dyspepsia, diarrhoea or colic will find fmmediate reliet and sure cure in Dr. Siegert's Angostura Bitters. ———— AS a dressing and color restorer, PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM never fails to satisiy. - HINDERCORNS, the Dest care tor corns, 13 ots.