The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, December 4, 1898, Page 20

20 1T ONLY COSTS HER Special to The Call-Herald. ROM the standpoint of $60,000 a vear income, life in New York, if one wants to be in the social swim, is almost as much of a puzzle in the way of making two ends meet as trying to live on $1500 a year in some much smaller city where social ambition is not so ne ry for one's well being. The cares and anxie- ties of a mother with two or three mar- riageable daughters in New York at the present day are manifold and varied, for the cost of living has increased fourfold within the last four years, and since the war has again taken a jump upward. Rent Is a Serious Matter. The first thing to be considered in be- ginning a serious soclal campaign in New York is the matter of rent. Per- sonally speaking, I do not own, but rent, a town house, but we have, of course, to have the Newport cottage, the Adirondack camp, the little box at the Hot Springs for the autumn and a house at Aiken for the winter—that is, after Christmas, so that it is not worth while for us to come to town for more than two or three months. But, then, we have to pay for being in town at Jeast $500 a month, so you can easlly see what rent amounts to in the course of the year, and it is well known I am not an extravagant woman. Indeed, for the set I ‘am ;identified with, I am considered extraordinarily economical, but, as I have said before, the rent, to begin with, makes a big hole in the money my husband and I have to live on. Fortunately, I have an income as well as he, so the $60,000 a year that we have between us sees us through fairly well—though i none too much. But, then, I am what is called a good manager, so we don’t have many worries. Those Servants. The next large expenditure for the household is the question of the money paid to the servants. It is simply mad- dening the amount that they demand, and things have got to such a pass that it is necessary to pay fabulous wages in order to get good service. Then the servants have combined to have as many helpers as possible, so that it takes two to do the work of one. Our household is run economically, I am sure of that, for I keep fewer servants than any of my friends, and yet I can- not run my household with less than fourteen, and that includes the men servants. The stable I have very little to do with, for I leave that for my husband to look after, except that I engage the coachman and footman, as I am very particular as to their appearance. I will not be driven about by men of different sizes and who are utterly lack- ing in style. As you know, I do not keep a chef, apd I will not pay over $50 a month for my cook, but I must pay $75 to my butler or have wretched service. My daughters must have a maid, and of course the woman who waits on them has all she can do without lunking afier me, and at my age it is most im- perative that I should have a woman to look after my gowns, arrange my hair and keep my personal belongings m_order. I have to pay the woman I want $35 a month; to the girls’ maid I pay $25, and they are cheap at that money. There are lots of little things that they do that otherwise would have to be sent out of the house to be done and would cost a lot more. Then I suppose in per- sonal ¢xpenses I might count telephone. The bili for that came in yesterday and the excess charges were $100, which seemed to me a swindle, but afterward found were all right. I cut off one expense this year, that of housekeeper. At least, I was going to cut it off, but I found when I look- 2d into the matter that she saved her wages, $50 a month, out of the biils, and although I had to have another THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4, 189S. ® @ in full swing shortly. What PP OOOOPOPOOO Y manager for $60,000 a year. Psked if she would say exactly what were the expenses of a New York woman of fashion, she kindly complied in the accompanying communication. The society season of 1898-99 is under way and will be woman of the day to be “in the social swim ?” That ques- tion was answered in an aristocratic drawing room of New York the other day, when a lady prominently known in the “swell set” remarked that it might be done by a good PPOPOOPPOPOCV000000000000000 0P OO0 O does it cost the fashionable PPPOPPPPOOCOOGOOOO O PPPOPVPPIPOPP9PVV00 0PIV PPOOPPPOOPOPOOPIQO S woman to wait on her, even then rshe WuS an economy. Entertaining Costs a Lot. Entertaining costs us a lot, and yet I don’t see how it can be done for less money. I am not counting the cost of house parties or what we spend when we are out of town, but simply what it costs me in New York the short time we are here. 1 gave an entertainment the other day for my youngest daugh- ter, who is only 15; she invited only 150 of her friends, and $800 had to be spent on that entertainment alone, and it amounted to very little after all—noth- ing in the least of a show about A simple collation; a cotillon, of course; and the favors ran away with a lot of money. But it was only a child’s party after all was said and done. I have been giving a series of little dinners for the older girls and have really succeeded in getting the ex- penses for these dinners down to $100 each. The dinners don't 'amount to much, you know, compared to those I have to give for my ‘husband occa- sionally. I cannot give one for his friends short of $250, but then I have very good wines, and spend a good deal on flowers. The older men appreciate those things, and, after all, I think it's money well spent. Man nerless Young Men, I do grudge the money spent in en- tertaining the young men, who have no manners at all and act as if they were conferring a favor upon me by accept- ing my invitation, and were it not that I lock upon the money spent upon them simply as an investment there are not half a dozen among the lot I should ever have in the house again. But when you do entertain them and give thern the sort of food and wine they ike, they will have bestowed the pleas- of their company upon your girls for perhaps two or three dances in the course of ‘an evening and they are very useful at dances. We have to keep the horses in town, of course; no woman of any self-re- spect would think of going out in so- ciety if she did not have her own horses. This going about in hired cabs is, to my mind, essentially bad form, and I would infinitely rather stay at home altogether than to go out in a shabby way.. Then one needs a second man to be on hand to call the carriage and to hold one’'s wraps, and you can’t have a man for this purpose who is not good looking and has some effect about him, Of course that counts. Theater Parties Good Investments, Theater and opera tickets are never included in the list of expenses that must be met, but nowadays girls must g0 and see every play that comes out, and, after all, nothing tells better than a theater party with a supper after- ward. I am not counting in the cost of an opera box at all. I am fortunate enough to own a box, as you know, and although my husband says that the pleasure of owning it costs a pretty penny, it is one of the expenses I never bother my head about. I am simply thankful I have it. Pew rent I have to face, but my pew is also a family inheritance, and I've never allowed more than $500 for my church expenses, and I should have a very uncomfortable feeling if I did not give that much to the church; be- sides, it would be very bad form if I didn't. At a dinner the other night a lot of people were discussing the question of how much it cost to live in New York. All sorts of sums were mentioned, but we all arrived at the conclusion that nobody could present any sort of an ap- pearance in society on an income of less than $60,000 a year—that is, to go out, keep horses and live as one must in these times, even if one did not in' the least intend eutering the list with the Astors or Vanderbilts. * Fearful Cost of Clothes. ‘What paralyzes me this winter is the fearful cost of clothes. I used to think I could dress the girls and myself on $8000 a year, but no matter how econ- SHE CAN LoOK REALLY VERY PRESENTABLE. A;:l‘ DINNER omical I try to be this year the thing cannot be done. I took the girls the other day to get their winter hats. I want them to look well this year; it is necessary they should look well if they are go- ing to be any sort of a success, For street wear I could not buy a street hat for less than $25, and the hats in which they looked the best cost $130, and I was told these hats were a neces- sity. I think they must be, for I saw Mrs. , whose income I know is much less than mine, and she said she had just paid $75 for her hat—a very insignificant looking little affair it was, too. Fur is used to a degree that is appalling, and one must have at least one hat trimmed with sable or chin- chilla. Buying for “‘The Dear Girls’’ Then fur gowns are another neces- sity, particularly if a woman goes In for skating, and my girls skate. I bought one of them a gown of black Persian lamb, the entire gown of fur, and for the other I bought a coat and skirt of mink; for one I paid $700, for the other $300, and they were nowhere remarkable gowns. It was an awful price, I know, but what could I do? However, they do look smart, and I consider the money well spent. Then the muffs cost so much. The latest fad is to have sable muffs lined with the sable, and these cost from $500 to $800 apiece. Of course it is not necessary for everybody to wear sables, but one does feel awfully out of things when all one's friends go in for a fash- ion of this sort. Evening gowns are very expensive. They are very smart and becoming, but do cost an awful lot of money. There were two that I set my heart on that Mrs. — will not give for a penny less than $700 each, and I hate to put that amount of money in a gown, particular- ly when it is so effective that everybody will remember it next year if I try to wear it again. I am sure you will know that economy is my watchword when I tell you I only bought one of these gowns and then bought my four others for $300 apiece. She let me have them at that price because I bought so many and I am a good customer of her, for T always pay my bills within a year, and I know very few people do that. Some ‘‘Trifles” That Cost *‘Hundreds.’ Evening cloaks and wraps are sim- ply hideous in price this year. What I wanted to buy for myself they asked me $600 for, and it did not amount to a great deal, after all, no very valuable lace or fur. To be sure, the cut was everything, and the effect was excel- lent, but I do think that’s an exorbitant price for a wrap. I was fortunate enough to get one for $400 that will an- swer all purposes, but I had to go from Dan to Beersheba. I only paid $250 for the girls’ cloaks, and they were exceed- ingly good, too, and very cheap for What they were. One was a pale blue miroir velvet and the other was yellow, trimmed with lace, with high fur col- lar, but I had the lace, and that is the reason I was able to do so well. Then we all had to have short wraps, but of course those cost very much less. I think we got them all for $500; I'm not 2;101:1:‘ d’l;hen I had niy last year’'s opera ne over, - RLon 80 I am very well pro o It Helped Mdrry Her Off. nd tea gowns cost a lot, but one must certainly have those if nothing else. You know it is the axiom of one of the best dressed women in New York thdt if a woman only has a small allowance at best she must spend half of it on her street clothes and the other half on one superb tea gown. This same woman has married off a.most unattractive daughter and four or five of her female relatives, none of whom had any money to speak of, and the be- Ll:f Ls;ht:hracti she says so—that it is cause they dressed Fiprries accordh?g to her I did very well with the girls’ street gowns. I only gave $95 aplece for the tailor sults—those severely plain three- quarter length cloaks—but I had to pay $130 for more elaborate cloth gowns. However, they are smart enough for reception wear. I bought myself a black velvet, but that was one of the greatest bargains I ever bought, for I only paid $350 for it, and I can wear it in the evening wifh a low waist, al- though I don’t suppose I ever shall do it, for I do think if anything is poverty stricken it is this idea of one skirt to do duty with two or three waists. A Matchmaking Mamma. I am anxious that they should both marry, and marry well, and, to be quite frank, that is one reason why we are in town this year. But what I shall do when it comes to the question of trous- seau I can’t imagine, for I want my girls to be as well turned out as any- body else is, and yet when a lot of us were discussing this subject atluncheon yesterday, we agreed that a girl ought to have at least $3000 to buy her trous- seau. Of course, it can be done with less, but then the people in our set don't do it. It's very puzzling to know whether it's best to give girls an allowance and let them see what they can do for themselves before they start out on their trousseau; but then they don't know where to go as well as 1 do, and I can’t possibly afford to give them more than $3000 a year to dress on, that is, for each one of them. Extravagant? My, No! And I do not bring up my girls ex- travagantly, but wish them to be sur- rounded with the same atmosphere that they will be in when they are married. 1 do not expect them to marry out of their own set. It would not be advisable for them to do so, and they must ac- cordingly learn how to dress and live in the way they always will, if nothing happens. This matter of Aiken in the winter eats up a good deal of money, but no doubt there is a good deal of social benefit to be gained therefrom. It is like going in for Meadow_ Brook and the hunting set generally. It cannot be done without considerable expenditure, but we look upon this, my husband and I, a8 a most necessary expense, and judging by what we have seen among our friends, there is not a cent spent foolishly. Pinched on $60,000 a Year. It is all very well for people who are not in the social swim to comment on the amount of money that is spent and $60,000 is certainly at first sight a large sum, but there are very few years when even with the most careful manage- ment we do not run over this amount. In order to keep up the town and country houses that are necessary a lot of servants must be kept in the differ- ent establishments. There is nothing much more telling. than to have the country house always open and ready to take a house party there for a few days, and this can only be done by hav- ing each and every house in order with a full equipment of llmil,. china, etc. And even if only a few sefvants are left those must be of the best, and must be ready and waiting for a telephone message. The Stables. The style of living in a country house need not be as formal as in the city, but there must be a sufficient number of horses and traps ready at a mo- ment’s notice, so that virtually two stables must be kept going. We do not bring all our horses to town, so we are in better shape in this respect than some of our frierids, and my husband Is capital at keeping up the stables, so I really don't bother much about that. He is awfully good about most things, and does not limit me in the money I spend. But this autumn he has asked me once or twice if I did not think T was rather rushing it, and, certainly, when we stopped to think of it, to be paying over $100 for a hat and $700 for a cloak or gown does seem rather ex- travagant. I suppose it is all the effect of the war, for every one has: told 'me that after the civil war there was the great- est extravaeance and that people adopted a style of living far and away ahead of anything that had ever been seen before, so this is probably just a repetition of the same thing. Making Both Ends Meet. T certainly do not intend to set up as a social reformer, and all I can do is to make the best showing possible on our FROM TLUE OPER, &) To THE cA;SRFXAGE- AB“ 4 DISTRESSINGLY SHORT WALK FoR THE DISPLAY OF A fi$ 6500_-: - WRAP. <who had been giving income of $60,000. I have not the least intention of doing what lots of my friends do, and that is ordering my household and my expenses on the same grade as the women who have incomes of double that amount, and I am not one of those silly people who say you cannot live in New York on $60,000 a year and go out in society. It is a perfectly possible thing to do, although it does call for careful man- agement in looking after small ex- penses, for I have always been a good manager, and have that much in my favor. Our income is an assured one, and there is no reason why we should not have a very good time, although we are nothing like as well off as most of the people we know. “‘Charity’’ Is a Serious Expense. There is one item that does amount up in a way that is very trying, and that is the fashionable charity expense. I am asked to be patroness for all the different smart entertainments, for which the tickets are now sold at $5 and upward. As a patroness I have to dispose of from ten to twenty tickets. Every woman I know is also made a patroness, and has tickets, so that I cannot possibly digpese of more than one .of the tickets allotted to me, and the only thing for me to do is send a check for the entire amount and look pleased. This would be all very well if it didn’t happen every two or three days. Last winter the amount of money I spent in this way was fearful, and this season the demand has begun earlier than ever. It does signify aecertain amount of social standing to be patron- esses at smart entertainments, and I suppose this must be counted in as one of the unavoidable expenses incidental to being in the soclal swim. I shall allot a thousand for this cne item and try to save it somewhere else. But positively I am so put to it to know how to make both ends meet that T often think that the woman who has $1500 a year cannot have any more sleepless nights or add up any more long lines of figures than I do. She may feel badly at the thought she can- not meet her bills, but then it is not a necessity for her to buy the absurdly extravagant things and to do the ri- diculously extravagant things I am forced into in order to keep my posi- tion, for it would be the height of busi- ness folly on my husband's account and the girls’ if I were to do anything which would imply that we were left behind in this silly race for social su- premacy. —_————— On one occasion Edwin Booth, the American actor, was standing behind the scenes, when a character actor, imitations of noted actors, was gbcut to respond to an encore. “Whom do you imitate next?” Booth asked. 4 “Well,” was the reply, “I was going to represent you in Hamlet’s soliloquy; but if you look on I am afraid I shall make a mess of it.” “Suppose I imitate myself?” re- marked the tragedian, and hastily put- ting on the other actor’s wig and but- toning up his coat, he went on and de- livered the well-known lines. The next morning a newspaper stated that -the imitation ruined the perform- ance, “the personification of Edwin Booth being simply vile enough to xr?%ke that actor shudder had he seen —_—— Twenty-five years ago France was able to put the same number of soldiers into the fleld as Germany. Now the German mlilitary forces, or rather the men of Ger- man nauonallt{' capable of bearing arms, Kmuld outnumber the French by a mile on, VERY PRETT. ATA FIVE OCLOCK TEA FoR THE &3 <7 9 /MODEST SuM