The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, December 25, 1896, Page 35

3 32 THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 25, 1896. The Meeting at Greenville Crossing The meeting had been called to order by Seth Draper. Seth was one of those life. long Republicans, and a “‘speakin’” at the Greenville Crossing without Seth as chairman would have been as incomplete as a camp-meeting without the presence of the presidin g elder. The formality of Seth’s election to the “‘chair’” was always dispensed with, as his long and uninterrupted service in that ca- but in these pioneer iimes, when wealth was so widely divided that either every- body, or everybody’s next friend, hada goodly share, charity could be omnipres- ent as the air, easy almost as breathing, and, above all, owing to the peculiar con- ditoins of boon companionship then prev- alent iis acceptance was more of an un- mixed pleasure tan it can be made now. ‘When wealth was held in the hands of pacity bad ripenea into a right that was|the whole population and bhoarding not to be alienated. seemed needless, because of the confi- dence that the morrow would bring its Seth approached the edge of the plat- form and, with that profound deliberation and composure which comes with a wide experience in such matters, wisely and calmly looked over the assembled crowd. After a rather flattering demonstration of approval on the part of some boys who had taken iront seats Seth opened the meeting as follows: *Ladies and gentle- men: I thank you for this grand ovation. [Applause from the boys on the front seats.] Iam not going to make a speech to-night. [Tremendous spplause by the people on all the seats.] We have with us a gentleman who will entertain you much better than I can; a gentleman who has made a deep study of the questions now before the American peoplej a gentleman who is one of the most eloquent speakers in California; a gentleman— Jim Till- man, you are the tallest man in the room, 1 will you please turn down that middle lamp, it’s smokin’. [Jim turns down the lamp.] As I was going to say, I am not going to make a speech to-night. You didn’t come here to hear me, you came to hear— Say, Bill Grubs, for God's sake, blow out that torch; don’t you see you | are fillin’ the room full of soot and smoke? I thought it was the lamp making this ticklin’ iz my throat; a person can't talk with a ticklin’ in his throat; should have thought you’d knowed better. [Bill blows outhistorch.] Now, asI wassayin’, Ishan’t take up your time; it wouldn’t be fair to the speaker whom you have come to hear. Some of you have come & long way, too, and it’s kind o’ chilly to-nicht down on the bottom land, The speaker with us to-night will talk to you on the issues of the day. 1 might say, however, that I reckon [ am the oldest Republican in the Greenville Precinct. I cast my first ballot for the old hero of ‘Tippecance.’ Iwasa Whig then, and a protectionist Whig, too. I had read up old Henry Clay, the father of protection, and I believe in it. I be- lieve in 1t. Whay, I tell you—My son, go outand tell Thad to stop shootin’ them anvils. Some of these darn fools don’t know no more 'bout firin’ anvils at a meetin’ than & hog does of Latin—As I was sayin’, Iam a protectionist; as soon as I was old enough to know anything I became a protectionist. I was a free- trader before I was old enough to know anvthing.” This put the boys to stamping and Re- becca King’s baby began to cry. Seth paused for & minute or two and then said: to-day. own abundance with it, then, although in order that the Scriptures might be ful- filled, the pioneers had to have ihe poor | with them, yet in one sense it might be said there was no poverty. For there was no want in the pitifal sense of that word, and no one need suf- fer where hearty willingness gave riches wings to fly on errands of sweet charity. Mr. Kelly says it was very improbable that in those flush early aays there were even those now unreachable cases whers pride conceals want and stuts the door against all human help, because in those days equality and fraternity were” very real, have made concealment of pressing want almost impossible. and friendly commingling wou.d It would be like wearing motley for a man to go out now to take up a collection or any purpose that might be comparable to the excessive tenderheartedness that Mr. Kelly pictures, when money is so scarce that the widow and the orphan get the minimum of life’s necessities. To tell that there ever was, or will be, a time of charity so truly catholic as that to which Mr. Kelly alludes sounds like a fairy tale. call for donations in the daysof San Fran- cisco’s golden youth, and having them pour in until poor puss became rich “be- yond the dreams of avarice.’ cian might have been called in, some great specialist, as fine as those times af- forded, to feel pussy’s pulse and study her symptoms. were sun baths she could have a front Fancy the issuance of such a A physi- If the treatment prescribed room with bay-windows to the south, so she could bask there and be safe from chilling winds. from gilded china, and if her desire was | for birds, costly canaries could be slangh- tered to tempt the appetita of the inter- esting invalid. needed, a trip to the Orient with cabin She could lap her cream If cbange of air were passage would not be beyond her means. All the conditions of feline felicity which can be 1magined as necessary to produce the most contented of purring and paw- stretching would have been bestowed upon this lucky cat. Contrast that with the possibilities of help for many a poor woman and child in the crowded cities of Christmas is a fitting time to bring | conferences at divers times under the The figure of speech means that | | none such, no matter how insignificant or sadly at fault they had been, would have been left to suffer in that time of so much money and kindness. ther “Better 1ake it out, Becky.” retired with her squealing baby and asshe walked down the long hall every eye fol- | the poor woman until she had passed out of the door. ‘I suppose if I ever reach my second childnood I will be a free-trader again, but otherwise I will remain a protection~ ist to the backbone.” the water pitcher then, “Sammy, tell Ed to bring u pitcher of water and a zoblet; no water lowed e. Seth reached for but it wasn’t P 8| here for the speaker. I declare to good- ness one would think we never had a meetin’ here before. Now, the question of protection is one I have thought a great dance and to use broad generosity that it may be said that scarcely in San Francisco would a sick cat appeal for charity in vain. these things to attention, so’ that the memory of what was fair in the olden time may be perpetnated from generation to generation, and falling from the lips of elders fond of the bright side of bygone days, they should rouse in the hearts of younger people the ambition to make it a part of progress to bring back and con- serve what is sweetest in such recollec- tions. So that the moral of Mr. Kelly's tale 1s to strive to be industrious and in- telligent enough to create a lavish abun- the harvest with such deal over. Now, if I had time| Ip the wide i i il y extension of friendly efforts and wel didn’t have a speaker here |, make the miilennium come by persist- I would give you my ideas. It|ent pulling at it, perhaps even the ex- wouldn’t take long. place—(that’s right, Mel Hawkins, go out! You never could stand the trutn; can’t expect much of a man what won’t stay and hear all sides. I read both sides 1 and always go and hear all sides, that's why I am posted)—what would we be to- Now, in the first| apceration of this figurative expression may change into a literal truth, for in this mysterious creation we know not by what bonds of responsibility we may be united 0 the beasts, and there may be some mystic meaning not yet fully compre- hended in that saying of the sacred Serip- . <4 s day if it weren’s for protection?—(shut | tureg that the wolt shall dwell in peace down that south winder, Elmer; don’t you see the lamps are flickering?)—where tection? I tell you, my friends, what the with the lamb and the leopard lie down i with the kid, and littl i would we be to-dey if it were not for pro- | gna¢ Eing ot c::, i‘l:a Ilio:. child shall lead Perhaps there is something symbolic in nature being heart beats are to the human life, 80 Pro- | csreq in tooth and claw” and our humam tection is to—" Just in this moment of a most beautiful flight one of the boards laid across two coal-oil boxes collapsed and four or five people piled on top of big Leander Jones, who had just taken his seat in the center of the board. The confusion and laughter which followed were intense. Seth made no concealment of his disgust. “Fellow- citizens, I have presided over many meet- ings here in Greenville, and every one of them has been disturbed by some big, fat idiot coming in and sittin’ on the only board in the room that had a knothole in 1 the middle of it.”” *“Who you callin’ a fat idiot?’ Leander yelled out. “Hain’t mentioned no names,” Seth replied, and took a swallow of water. *“Where would we be to-iay if it weren’t for protection 2’ It took Seth just 1 hour and 16 minutes to answer this question, but he concluded by saying: . “As I said before, I'm not goine to make a speech, and I now take great pleasure in introducing to you the speaker of the evening, Mr.~Mr.—what is the name, please? Ah, yes; Mr.— Bill Summer, go down and stop that cheerin’ in the sa- loon. How’sa man goin’ to talk with a lot of cheerin’ goin’ on downstairs?” Bill was glad to go and as he went out that left just five people in the hall to listen to the gentleman who was going to make the speech of the evening. Jupsox Bruse. Hon. J. R. Kelly Tells of Pioneer Generosity In talking the other day about Christ- mas times in the early days of S8an Fran- cisco James R. Kelly, president of the Hibernia Bank, who is one of the pioneers of California, after praising the honesty of the early settlers which permitted the merchants to use the unguarded sidewalks as storerooms for the safekeepingof mer- chandise, and laying the blame of the early sins of violence mainly on that habit of carrying weapons which makes men act too hastily for their better judgment to control, remarked, in further commen- dation, that the people were then so kind and so free with their money that any one could have started out to appeal for aid for & sick cat and met with a re- sponse of such lavish generosity as to laden the pockets with coin in a few bours. The contrast between then and now is strikingly illustrated by that remark, and truly there are some ways in which we could wish the world to go backward. It is true there are many generous hearts now and earnest workers striving to make the holidays happy for rich and poor, moral mending may be the needful thing that keeps waiting the fuifiliment of Isa- iah’s prophecy, Christmas Echoes, Good Santa Claus may weli grow wild and goouton a strike, 1t every woman, man and child insist they want a bike,— Judge. Buy up the Coristmas books liberally, and next year the authors will get royal- ties enough to dine at a restaurant.—At- anta Constitution. He—I mean to give you an elegant en- gagement ring, and we'll call it your Christmas present. She—I'm not to be outdone in gener- osity; I'll give it right back again.—De- troit Free Pres:. First newsboy—Goin’ to hang up your stockin® Christmas eve ? Second newsboy—Naw. First newsboy—Better do it. You might get ’em filled. Second newsboy—They’re filled now. ‘First newsboy— W hat with? Second newsboy — Holes. — Cleveland Leader. g single equal care of the wine. ““What are you going to give George for Christmas?” “Well, I thought I'd work him some- thing, but I'm so mad at what he said that Idon’t feel like giving him a thing.” “What did he say2” ““He said he hoped I wouldn’t spoil my eyes and rack my brain trymg to make him a present.’” *Well, that was all right, wasn’t it?”’ “Then be added that I could buy some- thing so much better ar.d cheaper. I'm angry enough to go and get that toilet table set for him thatI have wanted so long!”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. * What He Overlooked. It was evident that something preyed upen his mind, and, as he was usually lighthearted, they. wondered what it could be. “An oversight,”” he said by way of ex: planation, when asked aboutit. *“Perhaps not a serious one,” he added, *‘but still enough to trouble me considerably. I thoughtlessly let it slip Thanksgiving day.” “Let what slip?"” “Why, the thanks that must be due from every sensible person in view of the fact that there won’t be any particularly large assortment of bicycle advertisements to worry up with their conflicting claims for a matter of three or four months. Just think what a long rest that is!”— Chicago Post. Inebtiety Amofig the Lower Animals They have an animal show down at a vineyard near Fresno that beats any other show, probably, that was ever heara of. The animals of the Zoo are notuing to the animals there; and those which hold trees of India, as told by Kipling in his “Strange Tales of Forest Life,” are not to be compared with the animals of Fresno. The place of the meet of these animals is at the famous St. Gecrge vineyard, six miles east of the city of Fresno. There is an enormous winery there—the biggest, with one exception, anywhere. The ex- ception is at Rheims, N. Y., where they bave more land down in grapes for a have experienced a feeling of exhilaration, This feeling has grown upon them, and, combined with the taste of the wine yet remaining in the crushed grape, has made them victims of int'mperance. The ani- mals hold high carnival about the grape pile, in a way that is provocative of much humor from those who are unwilling to acknowledge the evils of intemperance. “Itis worth the price of admission to.a whole menagerie to see these animals,” said C, 8. Young, the agent of the Valley road, to a CALL representative a day or two ago. “The pigs, chickens, turkeys, mon- keys and other animals congregate about there and they have a great time. Prob- out of the habits they are in. They offer themselves as a willing sacrifice daily, aud seem to glory in it as much as any of the disciples of Bacchus of which we have any knowledge. No doubt if they had their way they wouldn’t get cured if they could. “Buta queerer thing, if possible, is to be related of some monkeys that are down there. These monkeys, observing the general use of the grape and of the grapeskins as partaken of by the chick- ens and pigs, became imitators, and from at first experimenting with the skins have become addicted to their regular use, and if you can imagine what a simian is ordi- narily and then picture him when he is in a state of exhilaration from tarrying at the wine, you can get something of an idea of these monkeys at such times. Of all the que-r antics from indulging in vo- ciferous conversation and set speeches you get them there in a-degree that mus highly interest such men as Professor Garner, who, you remember, set traps in the African forests in order that he micht study the language of different kindsof monkeys. “The whole business 1s what the un- dignified would call a holy show. It is the most unique thing that anybody ever saw. Nothing like it that I have ever beard of can be seen elsewhere in the country. Idonot know that these ani- mals are always allowed to be about these stacks of grapeskins and to acquit them- selves in the manner that I have depicted, but certanly while I was there no ani- mals were ever more interesting. ¥ im- agine a nataralist m1 ht get some good points by going down there.” The St. George vineyard is very busy now crushing grapes. It isin the center of the great wine-producing region of Califorma. Enorraous wagons drawn by heavy teams of horses and mules are con- stantly unloading grapes at the winery. - —/' - A AR vineyard, but cannot begin to ihe B8t. George vineyard in its power of crushing the grapes and taking It is on the St. George vineyard that the great wine cask, or tun—the greatest in the world—is located. 1t is greater by far than the famous Heidelberg tun, erecfed centuries ago on the picturesque Neckar. It holds no less than the gigantic amount of 85,000 gal- lons, or about 40 carloads of wine. Thbis is not all; there are a couple of other tuns there, either of which is bigger than the Heidelberg tun. So they do business in a land office way down there—everything is cut outona big scale. The winery is conducted like some of the great killing and packing houses of the East. There is no vaste anywhere. Even the trimmings from the grapevines are used as fuel for running the engines. Then theresidue isgathered | up and used as a fertilizer. Everythingis turned to some account. The hulls of the grapes, with the seeds that roll over the elevator at the last like chaff or siraw out of a thrashing machine, are piled high as a stack of hay. It is about this stack of grapeskins that the story of the animalscomes in. Loafing about the winery in easy and careless fashion are numberless pigs of great and small size. They are flanked by goodly bands of chickens and turkeys. Besides these there are at the winery, more as a novelty, perhaps, than anything else, several monkeys. There is an occasional cow and burro there, too, so that the ag- gregation is an intere: g oune to see. It is & grievous thing to state, but it is a fact, that these animals have contracted bad heabits from eating the grapeskins., Eat. ing at first in a nonchalant way, they ably the worst of the lot are the pigs. These pigs, from getting graduaily to tackling the grapeskins, have become confirmed in their habits and are there all the time whenever allowed around. . They get intoxicated and remain so, day and night. “They are never sober, and the antics they cut around there when they have eaten a lot of the grape skins is something novel to behold. Grapes,you know, make excellent pork. When grapes are very low the growers feed them to the pigs and they are as good feed as they need want. But these grapeskins have more effect on the pig by far than the fresh grapes would have. Atthe same time they are very fattening. Itis rhus that those pigsare constantly around eating the grapeskins and are constantly under the influence of them. 1 have seen them come in there, and after eating a while start to galloping about, uttering exultant exclamations, with their tails curled high in the air. One of them will no sooner start out than others will follow, and they bold a regu- lar high carnival. The people who some- times gather there and who have light ideas as to the deleterious effects of intox- icants have been kno wn to be amused be- yond measure. “‘Even the chickens which eat of these mrapesking are often affected by the intox- icant, and perforce act nnseemly. They crow, gyrate around and act in a way quite unworthy of discreet and well-regulated fowls. Like the pigs, they have grown to like the grapeskins and the effects of the remaining wine in them upon them, and are out and out victims of intoxication. I suppose no kind of Keely cure would ever get these birds and pigs straightened It is a busy scene about there. Many people who visit Fresno go out to see the workings of the great winery. Tunnel Under the Sea. A tunnel between.the mainiand of Italy and the island of Sicily is now being actively projected. Pians and a model complete in every detail were executed by the Italian civil engineer, De Juhannis, and are now on exhibition at the Univer- sity of Padua, says the Philadelphia Record. The principle employed by him is that of boring in parabolic spiral lines. After thorough and careful studies of the Strait of Messina, its varying depths, the nature of the ground and all other conditions which might assist or interfere with the success of the enterprise, De Jahannis de- cided to begin his tunnel near San Gio- vanui di Sanitello, at the foot of the As- promonte Mountain range, while the mouth on the other side will be located on the “‘Degli Inglesi.” The entire tunnel will be nearly two miles long, and will consist of two shafts of abont 10,000 feet each, descending at a grade not exceeding 32 feet in each 1000, Such a tunnel would be much preferable to & bridge, which would have to have a span of 4500 feet, and with the enormous strength ofthe winds in the strait such an attempt appears to be exceedingly danger- ous. This tunnel will cost about $330,000,- 000, but the money has not yet been ap- propriated. — Norway even now uses corn for coin, while whales’ teeth are used by the Fijiians, red feathers by some of the South Sea Islanders, and salt in Abyssinia. 1—Farmer Slyboy grows tired of losing his pears snd ties faithful Fido to the tree for protection, FARMER SLYEBOY’S FATAL MISTAKE. G—the Tope shrank, 4—and poor Fido's execution was com- Plete.—Goiden Days. Pnnra enough they wuz back afore night, ,Buck Steele’is ‘“an old-timer” in the strictest sense of the word, and his career has been even more checkered than most of his class—at least I was so informed when I engaged bim as guide last summer in Yellowstone Park. “You must tell me some of your experi- ences,” 1 said to him one evering after be had put the camp in order and repienished the fire with some huge pine logs. “Wal,”” he answered thoughtfully, seat- ing himself on astump near by and pro- ducing a short and very black clay pipe, “I hev see some tol’able tough times— most on 'em when I wuza heap younger'n Ibe now, though, Fur more'n ten year 1 fit fur my country, an’ I come mighty nigh a dyin’ fur it, too, o’ starvation.” “You surprise me,’”’ I said. “I thought Uncle S8am’s troops were usually well fed.”” “Wal, yes,” he replied, “‘they be, us'aily; but in arly days, when we wuz fightin’ Injuns in Minnesoty, thar warn’s ther fer- cilities fur packin’ supplies thet ther troops hez nowadays, an’ we had pooty short rations sometimes. I remember, like it wuz yesterday, when ‘bout twenty on us come ez nigh starvin’ ez any men you ever see. It wuz in Central Minne- soty (thar warn't no settlements thar then), an’ our pervisions give plumb out. “Thar warn’t nothin’ terdo but wait for a supply train what hed oughter reached us some time afore —so we made camp an’ scoured the perairie roun’ fur game, but couldn’t fin’ nothin’. We'd been ’thout food for more'n a day, an’ wuz beginnin’ ter feel awful holler, when a party o Chippewas, seven or eighton ’em,come inter camp an’ asked fur suthin’ ter eat. We tol’ 'em ez how we hedn’t nothin’ oursel’s—in fac’, thet we wuz jist a starv- in’. Thet seemed ter set’em a thinkin’, fur’t warn't long atore they up an’sez they thought ez how they knowed whar they cua git aelk. We tol’ ‘em we’d pay well fur some o’ ther meat—or anythin’ else, fur thet matter—an’ off they went, on ther dead jump, iike a bright idee hed struck 'em. Thet wuz ‘bout noon, an’ bringin! with 'em a lot o’ fine steaks— leastwise they seemed fine ter us. We paid fur ’em in ammunition, an’ they said they'd bring us some more ther followin’ day. They did, all right, an’ then lit out, an’ we didn’t see no more on ’em. The nex’ day ther supply train come up, au’ we wuz all right; but what d'"yer s'pose we foun’ out? ’'Bout two mile south o’ thar, ther trainmen Led.come acrost ther Chippewas a cuttin’ up a mule thet we'd killed ’count uva broken leg; an’ when they asked th’Injuns what they wuz a doin’, one on ’em grinned an’ sez, ‘Heap good; us sell ’em white man far elk!’ Thet shows what hunger’ll do, fur I don’t remember nothin’ what tasted better'n them steaks.” | “True,” I remarked sagely, ‘‘hunger is | the best sauce.” “Howsomever,” continued Steele, “that | warn’t nothin’ ter what I went through when I wuz a-workin’ fur ther Hudson Bay Comp'ny, up north. Thar they used ter show us a rabbit-track, an’ give us a club! | I actcherly suffered fur food, time an’ time agin, ai woz obleged ter eat no end o' queer things, ter keep from starvin®.”’ | “Those are, indeed, inhospitable re- | | gions,” I said encouragingly. | “Rutber,” he replied briefly, relighting his pipe, and pressing down the burning tobacco with his horny thumb. *“I'll tell | ver’bout one trip Imade fur ther comp’ny, | in ther winter o’ ’66—I shan’t never furgit it, nuther. I wuzlocated et ther comp’ny’s Touchwood Hilis post, et ther time;an’ sot out frum thar on a tradin’ trip ("bout ther middle o’ November) with eight hali- breeds, seven flat sieds (each drawd by a cayuse) an’ a biz lot o’ goods—tea. ter- baccer, fancy prints and trinkets. Et ther Big Bend o' ther Saskatchewan—ther snow bein’ deep—I lef’ all but three o’ ther halibreeds, an’ ther carts an’ hosses, an’ went abead with ther goods packed onter four sleds (four dogs ter each), one o’ which I driv myselfl. Three days frum thar we struck a big Cree camp, an’ stopped | ter trade. We hedn’t been tharlong when a party o’ young bucks come inter camp, with ninety gallon o’ clear alcohol, what | they’d bought o’ some whisky-trader. Th* Injuns, ez they sez up thar, hed ‘struck a cache,’ an’ I knowd, fur sartin’, thet thar wuz trouble a-brewin’. Thet very night, sure enough, th’ Injuns git on a big tear, an’, gfore long, a party on 'em come up an’ begin firin’ inter our lodge—which wuz jist on th’ edge o’ ther main camp— sev’ral o’ ther bulleis passin’ tol’able clus- ter our heads. I telled ther breeds to git ther goods ready ter pack, an’ wen’ out ter th’ Injuns, an’ give ’em some terbaccer an’ tea, an’ they moved off t'another part o’ ther camp, whoopin’ an’ yellin’ like mad. *Ez soon ez they wuz gone we hitched A Trying Yuletide in the Great Northland' up our dogs, packed ther roods an’ lit out. In th’ hurry o’ startin’ I didn’t hev time to git readv, ez I'd ougnter, an’ traveled through ther snow all night, with nothin’ on my feet but light stockin’s an’ moccasins, to another Injuns camp, 'bout thirty mile frum thar. An’, in course, when we git thar—jist arter daybreak— one o’ my feet wuz froze solid. I laid thar fur three weeks, sufferin’ terrible—the breeds hevin’ left me to go arter some chuck and ter let th’ rest o’ th’ outfit know whar we wuz. 1h’ Injuns wuz starvin’ most o’ ther time, now an’then killin’ a fat dog or a badger, an’ a givin’ me jist enough ter keep a goin’ on, thet’s all. Et th’ end o’ thet time my men, who’d hed a hard time ’count o’ ther deep snow, git back with a few pervisions, *specting, I reckon, ter fin’ me done fur. It wozn’t my time yit, though, an’ they tuk me back on a sled ter ther camp we wuz to fust, whar we foun’ th’ resto’ th’ outfit, with th’ hosses an’ pack sleas. Thar they put me in car’ uv a ol’ squaw, who, arter takin’ a look et my foot, put onter it some kin’ o’ herbs. Sev’ral o’ th’ Injuns wuz fur cuttin’ uv it off, it wuz so fur gone, but she wouldn’t hev it, an’, will yer bllieve it, in three days frum ther time she begin docterin’ it, it wuz pooty nigh well. I wanted to pay her fur it— ¥'d hev give her everythin’ I hed ef she’d wanted it—but she wouldn’t take nothin’ but a leetle lookin’-glass, wurth 'bout two cents.” “Indians do sometimes show a little kindly feeling, then,” I suggested ati this juncture. “Wal, yes,” he drawled, “but not ofen. ,Taint ther gen’al disposition, so to speak. But, ez I wuz a sayin’, when I wuz well enough ter travel, we sot out fur another camp ter trade fur some pervisions, but couldn’t get none and hed ter cut up our flat sleds fur fuel an’ pack ther furs on ther hosses. Ther nex’ day—it was Christ- mas; I shan’t never furgit it—we foun’a lot o’ wolves what hed been poisoned by Whoop-Up wolfers, an’ ("twuz a groun’- hog case) we hed ter eat’em or starve. Pooty ticklish business eatin’ pisoned meat, you hear me! though we biled it carfully fust. Arter ealin’ some uv it we set roun’ ther fire fur a couple o’ hours a watchin’ ter see ef anybody kicked; but nobody didn’t, and so we eat more uv it. “What d’ yer think o' that fur a Christ- mas dinner? An’ thet wuz all we hed till we.got back ter ther Big Bénd, an’ we didn’t git nuthin’ thar but adog. Our sled dogs wuz =o thin yer could a’most see through ’em, fur they’d been chawin’ ol’ buffaler bones fur more’n three weeks an’ hedn’t hed a squar’ meal in all thet time. Iseeone on 'em blowed over on ther perairie one day, be wuz that fee- ble. We left "em at ther Bend fur thar summer and started fur bome. Soon arter settin’ out we killed a big dog what hed follered us frum ther Bend, 20’ made short work uv "im, yon bet—gettin nuthin’ arterward fur two days ‘cept & gopher— ruther s light meal nine men! Then we come to 8 badger hole and camped by it a day waitin’ fur bim ter comeount. He did, fin’ly, an’ we killed sn’ eat "im—after- wards singin’ th’ hair ofen ther skin an’ bilin’ it! We used ter car’fully pick over our pelts, too—mostly “badger, wolf an’ deer—a huntin’ fur lettle scraps o’ flesh | on ’em, en’ when we made camp et night you'd see em stuck up all roun’ th’ fire on leetle sticks. «“Some ¢ ther breeds acicherly roasted shaganeppi peck cords an’ eat’em, an’ one day one on ’em biled down ’bout a hunderd poun’ ¢’ buifaler bones, gittin® enough mmarrer grease ter give us, mebbe, half a dozen spoonfuls apiece. “Another day we come acroste enough ‘rock tripe’ ter make a meal uv,an’ ’t warnt bad, but we couldn’t fin’ no more uy it “Soon arter leavin’ ther Bend I'd sent a man ahead fur some chuck, an’ be reached us "bout three days’ travel fram ther post | with s hunderd poun’ o’ pemmican, How them halfbreeds did gorge thesselves! They got away with the’r share in four meals—goin’ hungry fur ther nex’ two days—but I went slow on mine, hid it away, an’ hed my meals reg’lar till we got in, Inéver had no wus trip then thet afore nor sence, though I hed sev'ral a'most ez bad. Don’t scarcely b’lieve I cud stan’ ’em now."” So saying the old man arose, knocked the ashes out of his pipe ana ‘‘reckoned” he would turn in. C. F. Davis. ¢Father caught you smoking one of his cigars, did he? Ana what did he do, lick you?” “No; wish he had.” “What then?” “Made me smoke 1i—right through.”— Fun. The Hard Luck of Andy Harding Andy Harding had made a hard fight for constable of Castro Township. His election expenses, in addition to his assessment by tne County Committee, had reduced his finances to the very lowest notch; but election day was coming on, and Andy knew that to defeat his opponent it would be necessary for him to make one last, grand, final rally, He had sold everything he had, save an old horse and buckboard, which he had hope of retaining, as he would requirea horse and buckboard in the event of things going his way. Buttwo days be- fore election Andy heard that things were all wrong down the river, so to raise §50 he let the old horse and buckboard 8O. With a hired team and 3000 red, white and black election cards, which announced Andy’s candidacy, he started down to straighten things out. It took but a short time to give Andy assurance of success. At every saloon he had the good fortune of finding fractions of his coveted con- stituency, varying from six to Sixteen; and at one place he had the extraordinary good fortune of finding twenty men who were able and willing to respond to his in- vitation to “have something.” The in- road Andy was making into the votes claimed by his opponent was most gratify- ing. All kinds of promises and assurances of hearty support were given him, and at sundown Andy started home congratulate ing himself that he bad gone farther on $50 than his opponent could have gone on twice as much, 1n this peaceful and reassuring state of \ mind Andy jogged along the road until he came to one of the numerous ferries he had crossed early in the morning. Andy had just enough money left to pay the ferryman, and in so doing he said: “Well, old man, did a great day’s work,’ “Yes,” said the ferryman, as he threw up the apron.and shifted the position of the boat for the return trip, “‘where you been?” 4 “Oh, down the ‘river,’ said Andy. “Have a cigar?" “Don’t mind,” replied the ferryman, and as he glanced at the little red Wrap- per around it he said: “Why, this 13 one of old Phil Dunnivan’s cigars, l?nln t it? I hope you haven’t been wnf'mg much time on Yhil, or spendin’ m_uch. : “Well, T straightened Phil out, just the same,” replied Andy, biting off the end of his cigar and between the p\‘z.flu as he was lighting it, «Phil's all right. “Yes, but he don't live in your county.” “What!" said Andy, as he nearly fall over the dashboard of his buggy. «“Why, you haven't been in your county all day.” Andy looked at him in a dazed sortofa way and finally said: “Are you lyin’?” “No, I hain’t iyin’. That’s Yolo County over on that side of the river.” +Well, I'll be damned!” said Andy, and that was all he did say, but when he got bome that night he sat up till morning dawned, studying the map of his own county. JupsoN Brusis.