The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, March 27, 1896, Page 11

PROF, RIORDAN O THE CONFESSIONAL, Its Origin and History Explained, by the Jesuit. HOPE OF THE PENITENT. Saints, Martyrs, Scholars and Thinkers Believed in Confession. POWER OF FORGIVING SINS. It Belongs to God and Is Transmitted to the Penitent Through the Priest. > Rev. Joseph W. Riordan, S.J., dent of Santa Clara College, lectured ;x.he“k‘mhnlfc Confessionai” before an dience of Hall Jast night. He sai Ladies and gentlemen: Three things mainly & bresent disturb the peaceful slumbers of som or_prospe tive fellow-citizens, and they are the Pope, the Jesuits and the Catholic corfessional. The Pope, as we have been told again and again | with these walls, is plotting and planning, and unless we are all on the ealert has the greate: chance of succeeding in putting our country and all of us into his pocket [Laughterand u applause.] The confessional, if we are to believe what is said, is the great instrument of the Jesuits in making papal recruits. As the Pope has been £0 ably defended by our'vicar-general and the Jesuits by Fatiier Yorke [applause] 1 have thought that I could not employ our time better this evening than by saying a few wor: sbout the Catholic confessional, not, indeed, that I may convince those who will not be con- vinced, but that such as are desirous of know- ing the candid t know it. 1 ask no favor in the di n, Task no sympathy; T only ask fairne ericen fair- ness, which considers arguments and not per- sons, truth and not precomceived opinions, When I spesk oi the confessios 1 I am using the figure of speech employed b; our enemie: which takes the container for the contained, the the confessional for take place or are su manifestations that d to take place in it. The cor ial itself is génerally a v simple contrivance. On the outside & wooden frame with & few ns pendent is all that meets the eye. The e consists of three little compartments; a central one for the and two side ores for the penitents. The central compartment coutains & little bench or seat. The side compartments con- tain each a kneeling stool, A board partition separates penitents from confe but in the partition 8 hole is cut and covered with & screen of fine wire gauze, which with the dark curtaius prevent the penitent from being seen. h is the ordinary confessional as you your- ves may verify by e visit to our churches. But why is such an uproar raised egainst a thing 80 simple ? Why such ceaseless warfare of calumny end opprobrium? Because our enemies realize the benefit of such an institu- tion 16 the church and to the world, and be- cause their hatred is such that they wonld rather deprive mankind of its benefits than receive thase benefits from the hands of the church. fApplause.] Confession is indeed a fact; a living, uni- | versel fact, co-exiensive with Catholici fact considered by Cathol 3 faith; a fact which, while in many weys repognant to pride, is practiced in le age and life’s decline—nay, even the bed.of sickness. wlenthe beanties and angel of death is claiming us for its own. Itis a fect from which no rational individual or class in_the church is_exempt; the rich and the poor, peasant and king, layman and Pope— all, without exception, are, if good Catholics; practicers of coniession. No wonder, then, that a fact so widespread and of such’ importance should cause even superficial siudents of our race and of its his- tory to seek its origin. Our epemies havea answer. “It was called into being,” they say, “by the ignorant, corrupt, designing priests of Rome, and was instituted- to fetter consciences and to foster ignorance. Itis a cesspool of iniquity, a spreader of corrupt morals, & plague &pot in this nineteenth cen- tury of liberty and of light.” Softly, ladies and gentlemen; we are not seeking declamation, we are seeking procis. In what country, pray, did confession orig- inate? Who were the first to teach and to prac- tice confession? Whatare the original docu- ments on which you base your assertions? Tell us these and you will Confer a fevor. “The ignorant clergy of the Roman church intro- duced the practice,”-you tel) us, and how is it then that the learned members of thatchureh, men who in every age for léarning and enlight. enment have left the deepest impress on their times, and - whose works even to-day astonish us by the wealth of their erudition and the broadness of their views; how is it, I ask, that such men admitted and defended anc prac-' ticed confession? How,ifa cunning and de- signing clergy. had given it birth, had this cunning and designing clergy blundered so egregiously by binding itself by the very same bonds by which it bound ils dupes? A cunning and designing ¢lergy would have said to its ignorant followers: “We who can forgive your sins can. also forgive our own,’” and yet the fact is that in_the doctrine of the Catholic church no priest, no bishop, no arch- bishop, 10 pope has the least power to forgive his own sins, but must, like the humblest ie man, apply for forgiveness to another priest. The clergy have 1o privileges as regards con- fession ; the only distinction is one of severity toward them.. They have more means of ification—they are more gui they do 0 to our churches on the eve of somie vel aud see the long line of penitents at the confessional; see the priest who from sfternoon and evening nearly up to midnight has tosit in that_stifiing air, his head oftentimes throbbing with pain, and see whether & clever, designing priesthood could be stupid enough to needlessly burden its members with this thing. You tell us _tnat a corrupt. clergy invented confession;; if so it could and would evidently have so surrounded it with conditions and limitations that, while achieving its own ends, it would exempt itself m annoyances and inconveniences; but if you will make a calm study of the confessional, and how the. priest when called must go even at the risk of his life to hear - the confessions of the poor in their hovels or in the pesthouse, how he must:go when called in the night and in the tempest, will find that far from seeking to avoid nnoyances it has mu‘ui‘plicd them au hundred- fold. - Have you stopped to cousider when you said that & corrupt priesthood has iustituted confession? Isthere then no morality among good Catholics? One would think that you were speaking of the races of the Dark Continéntin- stead of peopie with whom you live.. What do you say of & St. Vincent de Paul with the noblest, most practical love of humanity in his heart, who breathed into his followe: the sisters of charity, that pure, nobie spirit of seli- sacrifice, which, silent in words, hes been so eloquent in deeds as to change on ‘the - lips of the foul-mouthed foes of the church a curse end aslur and & malediction into & blessing. {Applevse.] What of a St. Francis de Sales, whose sweet spirit hallows every page of his writings and lingers in the Daughters of the Visitation as the sweet sunlight of springtide loves to linger on the landscape? What oi the numberless saints and martyrs, the puarity of whose lives as been atiested not by Cathol alone put v the pagan and the unbeliever, vet 4ll .of whom practiced as a means of sanclification, some even daily, what speakers within this hall have been pleased 10 call the abominable ctice of the confessional ? ‘alvin was the first to deny the divine insti- tution of comfession, but Calvin was a little over 1500 years too late. Back through the ages from century- to century we go #nd find confession’ practiced by the clergy and the laity and inculeated in the writings of the fathers back to.the days of the apostles and the dawn of Christianity, when the Divine Master breathed upon his apostles and said: ‘Receive ve the Holy Ghost. Whose sins ve shall tor- zive they are forgiven them; whose sins ye shall retain theéy are retained.” These words are the words of Scripture,called in question by no belieyer, for they. are sub- stantially the same in the Protestant &nd in the Cutholic version. And ~hence though heresies arosg about confession, there was never dispute about its origin. The Montan- ists and Novatians- asserted that certain grievous sins committed after baptism could 110t be forgiven by the church; the Waldenses attributed the power of forgiveness rather: to the personal virtue of the priest than to the rights of his office, but neither denied that 3000 people at Metropolitan | th about confession may | sures of life have abandoned usand the | gonfession was instituted by Christ. ‘The early Jeresies of the Nestorians andjthe Eutychians and the ?‘rent Eastern schism which cut_off millions from communion with Rome. never for & moment attributed. confession to the ignorant, designing, corrupt priesthood of Rome,” fot through all the long centuries of Separation they have clung to confession and | still cling to it just as we-do. [Appiause.] But what is confession? ls it the going to & Priest and giving so. much money to be re- eased from so much &in, & kind of protective tariff on erime, according to which y;aying scheduied prices yon can be freed {rom calumny and sland¢r and murder and sinful indulgence? Isthis Catholic confession? No. Emphatically no. And again we ask, Can people in our.own -age and in our country be found guilible enough to believe such stories? | Where is your vaunted education and enlight- enment? “Why not investigate for yourselyes? | Confessionals "are not so rare in our City; neither are they defended by signs or pass- words or sentinels; choose your time, choose opportunity, find out .the truth for your- and do not allow knaves or idiots to im- pose upon you. To offer money for the forgive- ness of sin'would be a- crime—to receive it a sacrilege. Though forgiveness comes through the hands of the priest, it comes di- rectly from God, and no amount of - money, Do worldly emolument,‘can compensate him for the injury offered him_ by sin. But what i8 Catholic coniession? Isit the mere manifestation of wrongdoing? Noj; it is this but something more. Itis the manifestation of wrongdoing sccompanied by sinceré sorrow for what we have done; a resolution to sin ne more; the absolution of the priest and the acceptance of the penance imposed upon us, with the intention of performing it. In this description allow me to call your.at- tention 10 au important matter, and it is that the church in the forgiveness of sins demands all that any other church demands and much more. 1f we question the candid, upright Protestant as to how he obtains forgiveness of his sins, he tells us, “I confess my sins to God; 1 am since orty I resolve to lead & new life; my sins are pardoned.” All that he re- quires, the church requires. The Catholic penitent confesses to God; he must have & sincere, deep, universal sorrow for everything that has been seriously wrong. This heartielt sorrow is the pivot of the confessional; noth- ing can replace it, nothing can atone’ for its absence. Observe this well, for it is of the highest importance in the discussion of the confe: But over and. above what Pro- testants require for the remission of sin, the church requires the menifestation to the con- fessor of fauls if grievous. But immediately theTe riset up before us a hideous specter. “The priest is a man, like other men, and has, moreover, enough sins of his own to confess.” This we hear urged -as if it were a triumphant refutation of the con- fessional. Why go to a priest if over his own head hangs the sword of divire justice? That 1 £ | the priests are men' like other men does not militate ageinst confession; for were not the aposties men like other men? Were they of a diviner nature, or, rather, were they not chiefly rude, coarse fishermen, eatning their oread on the waves of Galilce? Yet to them is the promise given, “Whose sins ye shall forgive fhey are forgiven them; whose sins | you shall retain they are retained.” Xeither would the fact. if proved, that the priest has ce a5 many or even more sins nt weaken our posi the personal qualities of the cormiessor with his officiai ones, and there is no natural connection between the two. Letus explain_our meaning. ~Take an analogous case which may happen in our courts. A per- son guilty of some offense is brought before | the Judge. Whatwould you say of the offender if he would refusa to plead for pardon or to ac- | cept mercy because the Judge on the bench is | bimself eullty of misdemeanors or crimes | u against the law, perhaps-greater than the cul- prits’? The personal offenses of the Judge do not invalidate his official acts; and the pun- ishment inflicted and the me: granted are ratified by the law, no matter how unworthy i v be, provided only that legal ed and the decision be just. The Judge can free others from the penalty of | the Iaw. He cannot pass judgment on him- | self and free himself, and s0 with the Catholic priest. The absolv n which he dispenses to | others will nou seve himself, will not lessen the rigors of the judgment when, like all other mortals, he too must stand beiore & bar which knows no favorites. The confession isan the first place an ii tion than which nome is more democratic, for itis the great leveler of mankind. Itis the soui and its Creator in the presence of his min- ister; wealth counts for nothing, social posi- tion 'counts for mothing; we have only tne offending creature pleading with his offended feker. 1t teaches the sweetest of so tue ty, C and forbearance, for the soul itself has need of all these virtues in its confessor. Confession is a great social purifier, for hundreds of thousands of heerts weekly in | our glorious country go over the record of their past lives in shame and sorrow if there be fault and arise in_the strong purpose of their wills to do right for the future. Let us now take up the objections against | the confessional, and in doing so Ishall give them in the words of the American Patriot, as they hre s fair sample of the ‘opinidns of such Dpeople on the confessional: | “The firstis that it is in the experience of every men andoi every woman that if hej or | she by any means comes to know the sin of another, hie or she hold that other asa slave, | to be used for any purpose, however vile. Fear | and suspicion of betrayal are the sources of | such slayery. This objection 'is said to be uns answerable. The second is that priestand penitent are aftér all flesh and blood, and hence, owing to | the indelicacy of the communications made in the confessional, they cannot avpid im- morality, especially as the priest is the un- marriea confidant of the other sex. The thira is that the priest invades tae sanctity of the home and separates husband and wife by being the recipient of secrets which neither has manifested to the other. He is the serpent of Eden, by suggestions_and in- sinuations work:ng the ruin of woman. And first of all let us ask: “Whois he that takes upon himself 10 speak for.every man and for every woman?”’ We concede him in- deed the right to speak-for himself and for others whoni he represents, but we object, and object justly, to his lowering our common hu- manity to the standard of his own beastliness. [Applause.] He may-say: “If 1 by any means come to know the secret things of a woman’s heart she becomes my slave, and I can use her for the basest purposes; and so can all who are as vile, or as weak, or as beastiy as myself”; but he has no right to plunge every man and woman into the mire in which he wallows, [Appiause.] [s it the experience of every ordi- nary moral man devoted 20 his wife and fam- ily, that_if, in passing along our sireets, he notices the common women of the town mak- ing no secret of the vileness of their hearts, is it his experience that he Has no control over his baser nature, but immediately becomes a slaye to them, as they in turn become slaves to him? Is such, I say, the experience of every ordi- nary moral man, or does the writer hold that thére'are no moral men? And if it be as you say the same between man and man then with equal justice 1 say il is the same between woman and woman; and the earnest, noble, self-cacrificing I'rotestant matron who seeks to liit up the fallen and the outcast, whose hesrt has been pierced by those tales of suffering and sorrow, stands, if your argument be unan- swerable, accused and convicted of the most heinous crimes; she by some means has be- come possessed’ of the secrets of another's heart. - Perish the mind that could conceive sobases thought, [Applause.] And are not the secret scandals ot life daily made known to_the whaole City? And does every faithless wile or guilty husband essoon as known be- come the slave of - all of his or her escquaintances? And- again, are there n upright, moral . men of _mature rs who, remarking the waywardness of uth and lamenting the sad consequences in uture years, admonish, reprove, encourage? Or must the; ording to thisjunanswerable argument, give way to unlawiul desires and complete the ruin alresdy begun? Is it the experience of every professional mam, of every lawyerand physician, that when cients in criminal cases or patients who suffer from sin- iul excesses expose their condition, every law- ver, every physician irom that moment holds such patient, such client as a slave to be used, should he 50 wish, for the basest purposes? Humanity, ladies and gentiemen, may have sunk low, but, thank God, it is not as low as this. [Applause.] And if not the mere seli respeci and dignity of the professional spirit but the near-ties of kinship are.in question, a brother who has. learned of the ?rlilly of a ster, a father thatof a child, a son thatola other, Oh tell me not that it isin their ex- perience that from thet moment the nearest and dearest to them on earth have become their slaves in the sense of which you bave spoken. For the sake of our common nature, admit that your so-called unanswerable objec- tion is auswerabie and thatitis mot in the ex- perience of every man and every. woman that 1, by any.means, his-or_her sécret becomes kuown to another, he or she is from that mo- ment a slave, to be used for any purpose what- soever. But it common deeéncy, pity for the unfortunate, the professional spirit, the ties of kindred can sess & secret and not abuse it. then can elso the sacred character of religion in the heartofs Cuhoucdprlest. Moreover, in his case the motives adduced, nsmely: fear and the suspicion of betrayal; have no place, for the priest is bound to give up life itself rather than betray the coniidence re, in him. Is the fidelity of the priesthood to the sacredness of the seal of confession doubted ? Listen to its enemies who advocate the passage of a law to force the priesthood 1o & betrayal of its trust ?’ A\’hnxfleed ;)f force if fidelity were nof kept? [Applsuse.]" S The ll:con og;‘;ecuon is that priest and pemi- tent are flesh and blood and are putinto cir- cumstances 100 trying to our nature owing to the indelicate communications’that pass be- tweéen them; and this the more so, as the priest is unmarried. .1 have yet, ladics and gentlemen, tolearn that personal purity de- pends upon the fact of being rried or married, and I cannot subscribe to the imipli- cation that as soon as your sons have reached thefullnessof manhood and your daughters the fuliness of womanhood that they must perforce elther marry immediately or resort 10 unaatu- xe 7o stitn- | / THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, FRIDAY, MARCE 27, 1896. Rev, Joseph Riordanm, S.J., Lecturing on the “Catholic Confessional” at Metro- 8 politan Hall. : » [Sketched by a “Call” artist.] ral crimes. They are celibatesin thestrictest sense of the word, and, though unmarried, are’ pure;-if they can keep themselves pure in mind and in body for one year or two Or more before marriage you draw. the line arbitrarily when you fix-it at any determined age. You, pérsonally, may not have been pure even i s of childhood ; but again I ask you. v force your own vileness upou-us as a stan- dard of humenity? [Applause.]- Some unmar- ried persons are at times false To the duties of | personal yirtue; some married persons are at times faithless fo their marriage yows; but in neither case is unfaithfulness due to the guilty one, but to unfortunate circumstances or weak- niess of the will. You sneer st the priest as & confidant of the other sex, but your sneerloses its sting when we consider the style of mani- festetion used in the eonfessional. The word confidant has & air of levity about it. It sug- gests the spiciness of scandal, the minuteness of detail which no confessor could permit. The confession of the mere nature of criminal ex- ses and the number of times made ta a phy- would not, I think. constitute him & confidant of his patient. Something more is required to lower his proiession tosuch a level. But the question recurs again and again, what about the indelicacy of the confessional? And again Lask, what about the indelicacy-of the various professions? And allow me to call your attention toa great sophism, viz.: that ihe manifestation of indelicaie matters is necessarily indelicate. The language of the confessional isand must be delicate, for itis the language of one who 1s heariily sorry for sin, and such language is certainly not calcu- lated to be indelicate or 10 lead others to imi- tation. But what am I saying? What am I answering? Have you remarked the insulting insinuation contained in the objection that every man,every woman,that goesto confession has such a secret in his or her heart? Let us put the objection clearer and say, “I object to my wife, my mother, my sister, my daughter.; going to confessich, because she would confess 10 the priest the law, base desires which $hé has harbored, the mean, immoral actions which she has committed.” Is this their idea of womanhood? This their idea of those whom they should cherish most? If they hold that these are the pure creatures that as_husbands, fathers, brothers and sons they ought to hold them, they cannot object to conifession, there is no indelicacy for them to confes: they object to confession, then I léave .o your judgment what we should think of those who in the semblance of humanity are worse than brutes. . [Applause.] The third objection, that the priest invades the sarctity of the home and separates hus- band and wife, falls to the ground for the same reason that the others fell. It subposes that every husband, every wife, that goes to con- fession hes some secref infidelily to confess. The priest invades the sanctity of hoine! MWhere is the sanctity of home according to the objection? If uniaithfulness has taken posses- sion of the heart of one or of the hearts of both then has the angel of purity and of peace fled from that hearthstone, and their criminal pas- sions and not the priest have-divided them. And if in penitence and in sorrow the guilty party or parties should come to the priest as to & friend for light and consolation and en- vouragement to do bettér, what would you have him do? . What would you, as a friend, do if the guilty one came to yon in like circumstances? Would you run to the other party and manifest all? Or wouild you not rather bury the secret in vour breast apd strive to bridge over the chasm separating heart irom heart? Could any.one in fairness say that you were separai- ing husband aud wife_because you concealed what could bring about only discord snd strove to- remove its cause, or would you rather deserve the benedictions of your fellow men that you had held another family to- gether? And if you deserve a benediction wh¥ ot a priest, if hedper[orm alike kindly action But, as I have said, the very foundaticn of the objection is the universal moral corruption of iearis, and bears, like its fellows, the stamp of 4 low, mean mind. Oh, you who have lost faith in the chestity of woman, go to the confessional to recover it; admire, as the confessor so often adm'res, the purity of souls; and -know- that if confidence in womanly chastity, which, God- forbid, should abandon all else, there-will'still be one to raise his veice in defense of womanhood, in defense of the mothers and wives and sisters ena daughters of the very maligners of the confessional, and that one will ve the “man of the.confessional.” [Applause.] Away back as far as 1813 a test case of the priest and the law was made in the State of New York. A person who stole a sum of money went to confession, and of course could not receive absolution withont making resti- tution to the owner. He did so through his confessor, Father Kohlman. The matter was brought up in the criminal court and Father Kohlman was put ou trial, for the reason that he who knows the name of a thief and will not divulge it is subjeet to the same penalty as the thief himself. The trial took place and the case was dismissed, the Judges deciding that “As the laws oi the United States permit the free exercise of religion it is not lawful to force & Catholic priest to do what is forbidden by his faith.” % ‘The silence of the priest. therefore, is not against the laws of our country, but in accord- ance with them, Neither is his case a solitary one in law. Noone is obliged to incriminate himself, and he is excused from answering ques- tions when, by answering, he would soincrimi- nate himself. ~ The wife is not obliged to testify against her husband nor the husband against his wife; the law respects the -union of their hearts and the secret of either, if secret there be, is safe in the other’s keeping. If the confessional were indeed a- defense of evil, a shield for evil, an encouragement of evil, its action would be-anti-social, and as such to be repressed, but when it has for its direct and onl iobject the withdrawing of the heart from evil, the stirring up of sorrow,.the amendmenteof life, the confessional becomes a real boon. to society. And is not the amendment of the offender one of the chief aims of our criminal law? 3 g The Catholic confessional is the greatest in- centive of virtue, the greatest impediment to vice. How many there are who are kept from the noble ways of virtue cn accountof troubles and anxieties of soul. They know tnat they have sinned, but cannot satisfy themselves of the sufliciency of their sorrow; and bending beneath a load that they consider above their strength, not-knowing whither to turn, they lay down their burden before their time and pass away too often suicides. In the comfort and encouragement of the contessional, hope would have budded forth and blossomed, and the sympathy of a father wotld have helped 10 bring back and strengthen the erring soul. That the manifestatien of our sins to a fellow- mortal is en impediment to other sins goes without saying. ' We easily lose sight of the presence of our Maker and add sin 1o sin re- gardless of that presente. But confession is the means by which the Pmm rule in politics! [Laughter.] Agsin/ et us study.facts. Examine the men who are prominent in polities and te]l me how many of them euter the confessis lives of those who do not go to confession dnd you will find that the faster they got into poli- 1ics the faster they got out of the confessional because political methods and the purity o, the gospel are oftentimes at varjance. ¥ do not say that a politician cannot be a polltician and a good Catholic, but I do say that it takes nerve and backbone o be both. [Laughter. Politicians are too often guided by principles of monetary expedlency, rather than by the eternal principlies of jusiice: they are inclined to look aiter she sack Tather than the public welfare; and knowing that reparation is due from them, and thet restitution must be made by them before receiving absolution, unwill- ing to give up theirsin, they stay away from confession. You make & great mistake when {on imagine that the priest likes to see Catho- ics mixed up too deeply in politics, for apos- tasy from. the faith is but too often to be traced to political offices and to the crooked: Enter into the | roads traveled to obtain them. The confes- sional knows no politics, knows no parties; it £nows only the laws of justice. The confessional is a political machine! Try it. There are Catholics of all parties, not as Catholics, but as citizens. There is among us no Catholic party, as such, nor will there ever e, unless persecution and the violation of our comstitutional rights force such a course u%on us, and then it will no: be the confessional, but the ostracism of bigotry and of tyranny that will bring the thing abott. For over two years have Catholics been persecuted %mmcnll)n What has been their answer? “Combine, Cath- olics, to put down Protestants”; «“Vote for none but & Catholic’—never. Their ery has been, “Our constitution mow and_ forever, which no distinction of ereeds. in public of- vote for the right man in'the right 1i this be the effect of the coniessional say, “God Dbless the ¢onfessianal.” [ Such, therefore, is, th instituted by the Savior of mankind for welfare of the individual and of the race. It requires such inanifestations only as even DOBE BY A POCKET COME A New - Diséovery of How to Beat the Public Tele- phone. IT IS EXPLAINED BY A PEDDLER Directors of the Company Worried ‘Over the Sudden Decline in Receipts. The directors of the telephone company are worrying over the sudden decrease in the receipts from the public telephone with the drop-a-nickel-in-the-slot attachment. When this device was first foisted upon the community it at once became popular with hotels, restaurants, saloons, drug- stores and other places where accommoda tions to the public were formerly at par,’ and’ added many a nickel to the corpora- tion whose creation it is. Some time ago John I. Sabin became aware of the fact that his pet machine was being tampered with, and that its useful- ness as a money-getter for his company had been greatly impaired. This fact was revealed to him through the great decline in the earnings of the slot machine, and he accordingly set his electrical engineers and others about the task of ascertaining | the cause. > : The agents of the company were long unable to “drop onto” the scheme by which the concern was euchred out of the elusive nickel, but eventually their ef- forts were rewarded. They learned that it was simply a littie pocket-comb that had caused the decrease in the earnings of the telephone and created consternation among the officials of the company. “T’ll show you how it is done,” said the vender of pocket combs in am uptown restaurant. ‘It will save you many a nickel. The comb only costs you 5 cents in the first place and you can beat the tele- phone with it every time. There is nodif- ficulty about it. = It’s the simplest kind of agame. Talk about tapping the wire, HOW TO BEAT THE > | PUBLIC TELEPHO [Sketched by a “Call” artist. | olite society allows and far less than profes- E{onll life myly require; it bears with it a heart- felt sorrow for the past, a firm resolve for the future. Calumniated indeed as 1f for so much money you could be freed from so much sin; slanaered as if it Wwers a means of mordl corruption; it stands before the world and in- vites dispassionate investigation, for it con- tains all the elements that any other form of religion requires for the remission of sin and demands much more. But this is its glory, as it is the glory of the grand old church .that practices it, that the more you ‘study it the more you admire it. [Prolonged applause.] IT OAME FROM KANSAS. - ‘The Queer Petition Which Was Pre- sented in the Senate Recentl There have been more -crank petifions presented to Congress this session than.in any previous sitting of Congress for'years, ‘says the Washington Post. In the Senate especially the constitutional right of peti- tion appears to have been abused to a great extent by Senators, who insist upon reading them in full,-and printing the text of titions and_memorials of all Xinds and sorts in the Revord. The latest contribution of this character was laid before the Senate by Peffer of Kai yesterday morning, and it will, owing the fact”that the Senator insisted upon reading it, appear in full in to-day’s Record. It comes from General Hugh Cameron of Lawrence, Kans,, and is as follows:. 5 Your petitioner, the.undersigned, respect- fully uk':'youx honorable bodies to make the 5th dayof Aprila National holiday, it being the day on which the King of the Jews, whom Pontius Pilate caused to ve crucifiea, April 3, A." D, 33, achieved his splendid victory over the grave. f The King of the Jews has always been the true friend of the United States ot America. He was with Washington and his companions during their greatstruggle for independence, and was 2lso with the Union army through the entire war to maintain that independence’ with union snd liberty. Your petitioner has an abiding faith that our honorable -will cheerfully grant is request, as well on_your own accouut that of the multitude of his faithful followers, comprising all the industrious poor, people (God's chosen people), many of whom are now prayerfully waitin the second coming of said King, which, it is claimed, will be to the United States of America. S Unquestionably, this King has done more to establish and maintain free “govérnment on this continent, and to make the United States- of-America a respectable Nation than any other King; and, 50 we, §s individuals and as & Nation, ought not to ashamed, with frank- ness and alaerity, to_ackhowleage that we owe him a debt of tude which we will never be able to fully liquidate. 5 For all these and many other obvious reasons the undersigned hopes your honorable bodies will, without delay, mnake resurrection day a National holidaey, ‘which we will continu- ally pray. 3 ¢ beating the slot machines or the street rail- way company on its transfer system, none of them are to be compared-with this new discovery in point of simplicity and per- fection—"" And after calling up central the manip- ulator of the comb—when told to drop his nickel—gaye a dextrous stroke across the rim .of the transmitter,at the same time pressing the button, and the job was.done. “It doesn’t need an expertto do this trick,” continued the comb man, ‘“and every one that-I have explained it tois now playing the same graft. The beauty of the scheme is that the telephone people are unable to detect the operator unless they catch him in the act. Isthe game very generally played? Well, I guess. ‘Why, it is impossible for the peddlers to supply the demand for combs since the wrinkle became known.” S — SANTA ROSK'S FAIR ISLE, New and Sensational Elements| in- the A. P. More Estate. ’ Admitted in Depositions That Valu- able Papérs Were 'lfaken From Deceased’s. Room. The celebrated Santa Rosa Island case ‘has assumed a new phase and the grossest fraud is about to be exploited by the attor- neys. : . i For several days past Messrs. Gunnison, Booth and Barnett and-J. B. Mhoon have been taking depositions in the $56,200 suit brought against the estate of A. F. More by M. Watson, and many startling revela- tions have been made. 3 < In those depositions it is admittea by . Watson and John. F. More, brother of A. P. More, deceased, who' owned Santa Rosa lsland, that they went to his apart- mentsin‘the Palace Hotel and took certain papers. et s Among those papers the attorneys say they have reason to believe was the last will of the island's owner. -Said Mr. Mhoon: ‘“They mmnttwucfifiun‘tq apers, and it is more. e 2 Wi ;]v’vngesxflop them. 'Whan-flv::undsnmori A black bug with red ey'u. that injures | that A. P. More was 'I?KP “to have shade trees, hlslp;ll’fiifl great numbers | died intestate, and that his brother, J. F. at Todependence, Mo. . © - JMore, secured letters of administration | to pay more attention to the condition of | was a hollow cup, opened by a spring, and \pliance madeé cen be sold with this in the face of of the heirs, color. ““The island includes 62,000 acres, several thousand head of sheep and extensive im- provements. Its value is nearly $1,000,000. After A. P. More, the owner, was.acquitted of the charge of murder furshooting a Chinaman in 1883 be went to Chicago and left the island in the hands of his brother, John F, More. The latter continued in the management and control of the‘pro - erty up to the time of his brother’s deat! when ~as' edministrator his .executive authority was more exclusive. % _‘“After secaring letters of administra- tion,” continuea Mr. Mhoon, “John. pre- sented a claim for §100,000. He was g{gn:ed about $60,000. While prosecuting is claim Watson was his most important witness. And in turn More became Wat- son’s chief reliance in his first suit for $30,000. ' The principal item in Watson’s $30,000 claim was a charge of $18,000 for advice. He ddvised Mr. More not to sell a certain lot of wool.” In the depositions taken by Messrs. Gunnison, Booth and Bartnett yesterday, John F. More corroborated the statement of Watson concerning the taking of papers from A. P. Morse’s rooms at the Palace. “It 1s a rank case of fraud,” said Mr. Bartnett last night, “and. the evidence ob- tained in the depositions gives promise of | great sensational developments in the near | future. You see, thereis $900,000 and a little Pacific principality at stake.” —————— %:'eat opposition from fifteen this suspicion is given much ABOUT CORNS, The Sort of Boots That Brings Them On and How to Get Rid of Them. A chiropodist says: “One of the most popular corn-plastersis made in Baltimore, but not long ago the manufacturer brought his wife over to me to be treated for corns. I asked him why Ledid not try to éure her himself. He told me thathis plasters were very good things to sell to druggists, but that they did not seem to benefit his wife in the slightest. 1t is my experience that at least 80 per cent of people suffer more or less from corns. Washington is one of the worst cities in the country in this line. It is- on accourit of the asphalt streets, I think. At any rate, peopie who come from other citiés often develop some form of foot trouble after they have been here awhile.” ' “Who are your best customers?” “Women always. They will persist in wearing high heels and shoes that are too short for them. Now, a shortshoeis much worse than a shoe that is too narrow, for, as the average person is not blessed with high msteps, the toes are forced down against the end of the shoe, and -either corns or aeformities of the joints result. In my opinion Southern people have the besf feet. The reason of it is thut theyare great horseback riders. Holding one’s feet In the stirrups resuits in masing high in- steps, and bigh insteps prévent the feet from being forced down into the end of the shoes. It is true that Southern women like to wear high heelsand tight shoes, but the effect is not nearly as bad on them as itis on Northern women with their flatter insteps. “Yes; bicycling is just ebout as good for the feet as is horseback-riding. -The foot gets freer play than it does in walking, and if the shoes are well made and properly fit- ted it bas a tendency to make the feet arched and graceful. I firmly believe that | the fact that so many small children are now riding the wieel is certain to result in better-shaped and healthier feet in .the coming generation.” Parents really ought their children’s feet. They ought 1o wake more care about their shoes, seeing that they fit properly and do not rub, or are not too'loose. That parents do not, as a rule, exercise such care is shown by the number of chi’dren from 2 to 5 years oi age whoare brought to me to be treated for corns and bunions.”’—Wasbington Star. e Poison rings during the twelfth, thir- teenth and fourteenth centuries were very common in 1taly. The bezel of the ring designed to contain a quantity of poison, to be used eitherfor suicide of murder. | WAITS FOR HIS MASTER A Little Dog’s Lonely Vigil at the -City Receiving Hos- pital, WANTED TO DEFEND HIS BODY. Dunwald Has a Fractured Skull, but His Canine Friend Will Not Desert Him. A little curly black dog, sans beauty, sans pedigree, wanders " disconsolately about the new City Hall, waiting patiently for his master, who lies seriously injured on a cot within the Receiving Hospital, furnishing a most touching illustration of canine devotion to man. On Tuesday last a call from Beach and Powell streets took the patrol wagon to that locality, and the policeman in charge found an injured man, who had been struck down in a quarrel, whose uncon- scious body was guarded by a little black dog. At first the little fellow wa3s inclined to resent any interferance with his master's body, but when he saw that the police were on a friendly errand he offered no resistance, and trotted behind the wagon while it conveyed his master to the Re- ceiving Hospital. There it was found that the man was Henry Dunwald, and that | his skull had been fractured by a blow from a hatchet. The dog attempted to follow the man’s inanimate form as it was carried intd the hospital, but being prevented, he lay down on the pavement outside and patiently awaited l}”’Ai; master’s return from within the gloomy walls. Night came on, and still he kept up his vigil, and when day- light again appeared he was found close to the door turming appealing eyes to all who appeared, as if asking for news of his master. Another day passed, and still he refused to leave, and then Matron Ed- monds of the bospital took compassion on him and gave him-food and water, which he consumed as though famished. The little fellow was in his accustomed place yesterday morning, still waiting for the master who tossed on a bed of pain within. An unsympathetic gardener, who perbaps did not know {be reason of his onely vigil, caught him walking across a flower-bed mnear the Receiving Hospital door, and drove him away with a stick. After that he contented himself with standing in the street and gazing wistfully at the hospital portals or running about the corridors of the hall, "searching dili- gently and patiently for the master. Dr. Sherwood of the hospital found him in the street yesterday and took him to a neighboring restaurant, where. he was given all he would eat. Where he sleeps no one knows, but hardly an hour passes during the daylight hours that he does not trot around to the City Hall aveuue side of the hall and sit for awhile watch- ing tbe hospital entrance: Inlife the firmest friend, The first to welcome, foremost to defend, Whose honest hear: Is still his master’s own, Who labors, iights, lives, breathes for him alone, In the meantime Dunwald lies in a pre- carious condition in the hospital, and may remain there for days before he can be moved to his home. The balloon by means of which M. An« dree, the Swedish engineer, will endeavor to reach the North Pole will be capable of carrying three persons, four months’ pro- visions, a sledge and a sailing-boat, and | will be sufficiently gas-tight to hover in the air for thirty da; NEW TO-DAY. [t HasN U I 2 e Zins ol I ) REASON. The man or woman who buys an article to restore health should do so on the same plan that he or she would buy a a toy. o Equal! “The sound, thrifty buyer makes his pur~ chase on the established basis that a good article is cheap at a reasonable . price, while a poor one is dear at any price.” A. T. STEWART. - POINTS OF SUPERIORITY. ELECTRIC POWER. DR. BANDEN'S ELECTRIC BELT Eenentes double the power of any other lectric Belt made. The arrangement of the metals is upon the most approved scientific basis; the Voltaic piles, being quadruple, so as to bring out a steady, werful current; perfectly insulated, so at, different from all other belts, the full force of the current is conducted into the weakened system in a continuous, life-| giving stream, It gives tone and energy to the nervous system and all its degend- 1 ent organs.. As ‘‘Electricity is life” Dr. ?nden’s Electric Belt is the modern life- ver. DURABILITY. DR. BANDEN’S ELECTRIC BELT is| gosmvely guaranteed for one year. Every elt - broken. or by any circumstance, whether the fault of the belt or the wearer, having lost its curative powers of elec- tricity within one year, is replaced with a new one at no expense to the wearer. If Dr. Sanden’s Belt was twice its present cost it would still be cheap, a3 no other ap- guarantee. CONVENIENCE. DR. SANDEN'S ELECTRIC BELT is | applied on retiring at night and worn until me of arising in morning. No care or trouble 1s incurred in its use; no time is wasted ' in using’ i, as it§ soothing, strengthening current absorbs into the You Can Regulate Its Power. DR. SANDEN'S ELECTRIC BELT is come structed ‘with a patent regulator. No othes Eleetric Belt has it. When you have placed the Belt on the body and feel the powertful curs rent penetrating ybur system you adjust its strength by turning to right or left a small screw attachment, setting the enrrent at any desired force, and you cen then enjoy a restful, quiet sleep without being awakened in the middle of the night by a sensation which makes you imagine you are being electrocuted, Those who have used the old-style belts know what ‘this is, and hundreds who have dige carded them and are now being peacefully re- | stored to health and sirength by Dr. Sanden’s Electric Belt are testifying to the value of the new method. ‘If you don’t want to bs burned to death in your sleep use Dr. Sanden’s, . $5000 REWARD. DR. SANDEN’S ELECTRIC BELT gives inte the body a.genuine current of electricity for several hours at & time. $5000 reward will be paid for one of these Belts, which will nog earer mmsedlately A1l churging aad spRis ately aiter charging a; ing to the bedy. > i e IT CURES. DR. SANDEN’S ELECTRIC BELT 1s credited | with some three thousand cures on. thé Pacifig Coast alone during the past ten years. Cures in fact. Cures of men who are manly enough to proclaim to the world their recovery of mane hood and the means of getting it. Dr, Sane den’s Electric Belt is no experiment, and the names and addresses of hundreds of gratefal weakened organs while yousleep. Benefi- cal results are noticed in one night’s use, | Citiz and the sleep is made sound and refreshing. It quiets the nerves and builds up the we& parts in apatural, humane manner. ens of State can.be found in book, “Three Classes of Mon,"“whleh zl:s:‘l‘l‘lli.l ?m-fiog;e nux;%tmcl:l icm of all cases ich can cure: electri Tices Tiistrce. Getit to-days o 204 P SANDEN BLECTRIC CO., ' 632 MARKET ST., OPPOSITE PALACE HOTEL, SAN FRANCISCO. Office Hours—8 A. M. to 8:30 P. M.; Sundays, 10 to'l. . —_OFFICES AT ¢ 1.08 ANGELES, CAL <04 South Broadway. PORT! 2556 Wi OR. streaty