Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, October 3, 1916, Page 4

THE OMAHA DAILY BEE FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER VICTOR ROSEWATER EDITOR + THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY PROPRIETOR Entered at Omaha postoffice as second-class matter TERMS OF By Carrier By Mail month. Daily and Sundsy.. Daily without Sunday Evening and Sunday. Evening without Sun Sunday Bee omly.. .. . 8 Daily and Sunday Bee, three years in advance, $10.00. Send notice of change of address or irregularity in de- livery to Omaha Bee, Circulation Department. 3 REMITTANCE. Remit by draft, express or postal order. Only2-cent stamps taken in payment of small accounts. Personal checks, cxcept on Omaha and esstern exchange, mot OFFICES. Omaha—The Bee Building. South Omaha—2818 N street. Council Bluffs—14 North Main street. Lineoln—b526 Little Buudinfi 818 People’s Gas Building. New York—Room 803, 28¢ Fifth avenue. 8t. Louis—503 New Bank of merce. Washington—726 Fourteenth street, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE Address communications relating to news and editorial matter to Omahs Bee, Editorial Department. AUGUST CIRCULATION 55,755 Daily—Sunday 51,048 e blflwy:‘lh\ Williaras, beel(m\nl-dtlnlu manager -:: 1';-:‘ E:: Pubiishing compuny, ing duly sworm, A average circulation for the month of August, 1916, was 36,705 daily, »nd 51,048 Sund;‘v. DWIGHT WILLIAMS, Ofreulation Manager. 54 Sl;lél%nbedl!n my ‘:Ht{l::.lnd, sworn to before me th of September, 3 3 it ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Publle. Subseribers leaving the city temporarily should have The Beo mailed to them. Ad- dress will be changed as often as required. bt e oy THe problem in Greece simmers down to this: Fight or give up the gun. Omaha will need all its hotels, both new and old, this week—and then some! \ Anyway, the force of the Rgosevelt punch demonstrates the value of steady training. | Senator Martine neglected to wire a whoop of joy to Shadow lawn. Doubtless he thinks the New Jersey primaries delivered a message. | This is where the Omaha police force will have a chance to demonstrate again that its efficiency far outruns its numbers. I Commercial submarines are unable to offer scenic inducements to travelers, but are unsur- passed in supplying the thrills of uncertain ar- rival. | It is inferred from his remarks that- Colonel Harvey believes President Wilson spoiled a good country editor to make a poor secretary of the navy. President Wilson brings the prestige, King Ak-Sar-Ben supplies' the “pep” and Omaha the hospitality. A rare combination fittingly honors a memorable event. ; . The so-called “mystery” of bulging capitol walls is no mystery at all. The certainty of hous- ing a reunited republican family is ample provo- cation for a swell front. —_— The chapces of foreign war bulletin makers agreeing on' the outcone ‘of a-given battle are about as good as of opposing political dopesters agrecing on the result of the November election, In talking to the farmers Senator Hitchcock is careful not to boast of how hard he fought parcel post for fear the government would take some of the profits away from the express mo- nopolies. sn't it a little brash for Senator Hitchcock’s newspaper organ to invite inspection of anybody’s record going back twenty-five years, knowing what a review of his own record covering that period would disclose? By recalling the democratic attacks upon him when he was president, Colonel Roosevelt nails the “shouldn’t-attack-Wilson” complaint. No rule of “king-can-do-no-wrong” or of “lese majeste” holds good in this free American republic. In determining his action on the wage increase force bill President Wilson gave in, according to Roosevelt, “to the side he feared most.” Suppose the same labor leaders come back again at the next session of congress, with their stop-watches and threats of a strike unless new demands for more wages or larger overtime pay are acceded to before a designated day and hour? What then? Some Things That Are Untrue D Rallway Age Gasette, Among the many wild and ignorant state- ments made on the floor of congress during the “consideration” of the “eight-hour” law and dur- ing its subsequent defense by democratic mem- bers, the blue ribbon should undoubtedly be awarded to Senator James A. Reed of Missouri, which is worth repeating as illustrating. the amount of information on the subject possessed by some “statesmen” who voted for the bill. He said: “I talked with a man who is manifestly more than half a nervous wreck. He used to pull the Twentieth Century Limited' between Chicago and New York. He told me that by actual mathematics it could be demonstrated that upon that run the engineer holding that throttle had to read and record in his own brain six signals every second. Eight hours a day is long enough for that kind of labor, Eight hours 1s long enough for the passengers to ride behind a man under that kind of a strain." Senator Reed has apparently been listening to some of the talk of the brotherhood leaders, and has re- ceived the impression that the trainmen “pull” their trains without much assistance from the locomotive. He would probably be much sur- prised if informed of the actual facts, viz: That the engineers on the Twenticth Century are changed seven times in twenty hours between Chicago and New York; that not one of them runs for more than four hours a trip, and that each of them receives considerably more than a day's pay for each trip of three or four hours that he makes on the Century. He might pur- sue his investigation further and find that five hours, or 100 miles, is the basis for 3 day’s pay ‘or all passenger engincers on the eastern roads and that practically no passenger ever rides be- Sind an engineer who works as many as eight aours a day.. We do not blame the senator for becoming excited about the six signals per sec- ond, but _|m|yde “actual mathematics” would have shown him/that a train running sixty miles an 1our traverses eighty-cight feet in a second and he is doubtless enough of a traveler to know that the merg along the New York Central is %obmd v a signal every fourteen feet. artless credulity shown by statesmen of the Reed and La Folette type when they are talking ' to members of the labor unions is only equaled Izd:e impossibility of getting into their heads a real. fact or truth regarding railway s, The Farmer Pays the Freight. Closer study of the situation growing out of the Adamson railroad wage law convinces the farmer of the quality of the solicitude for his wel- fare shown by the democratic party. This law, driven through congress as was no other law ever enacted, provides that an arbitrary increase of 25 per cent in wages paid to a specially favored class of employes, amounting to $100,000,000 an- nually is to be forced on the railroads. This im- position can only be met by additional income; the railroads have but one way of adding to their revenue, and that is by increasing rates. The money must come from freight and passenger carnings. To increase passenger tariffs is im- practical, therefore the hundred millions required to meet the demands of the Adamson law must be derived from additional freight charges. The president of the United States told the railroad managers he would assist in securing authority for them to make the increase. The whole bill is to he charged to the shippers. This brings the matter directly home to the farmers. They are the principal patrons of the railroads, in that they provide the greater part of the freight that is carried. Manufacturers and jobbers may avoid any share of the increased rates by simply adding the amount to their selling prices, but the farmer can not do this. He does not fix the selling price on his commodities, and will find that instead of being permitted to add the increase in.freight to the price of what he sells, it will be deducted. Thus, he will be pay- ing the whole sum, for it will be added to what he buys and subtracted from what he sells. In plain words, the farmer is to be made the goat in this, as he has been in other ways by the democrats. Agriculture, our greatest industry, has had but scant consideration from the party now jn power. 4 Omaha Must Care for All Visitors. The people of Omaha seem not yet to realize fully the obligation they are under to take care of all visitors from abroad accepting our invita- tion to come here this week. The combination of the Ak-Sar-Ben festivities and the celebration of the semi-centennial of Ne- braska's statehood with the president of the United States participating in the commemorative exercises, are sure to bring to this city more strangers than have ever before been within our gates at one time. The fact is that our hotels and customary accommodations for the traveling public are already taxed to their ordinary capacity, and unless extraordinary efforts are put forth thousands of visitors will have their needs for food and shelter unprovided for. Of course this situation will not be present because it is up to us to put forth an extraordi- nary effort. It is incumbent upon every citizen of Omaha in position to help meet the impending demand, to respond to the urgency of the occa- sion. All the available rooms for lodging should be listed at once with the agencies that are at the disposal of our visitors, and these agencies should be ready with enlarged forces to supply all requisitions upon them. It must be remembered that Omaha is the host and that every householder in our city shares the responsibility for maintaining our reputation for painstaking hospitality. It is not a question of ability or willingness to take proper care of everyone who comes, but of mobilizing the facili- ties and making them available for use. SPES——— His Highness the Hog. Omaha is entertaining some real royalty this week, as well as the mythical kind. His highness the Hog is with us, born in the purple and regally bred, and by his actual presence reminds us of one of the principal stones in the foundation that supports the material greatness of which the alle- gorical monarch is the outward sign. The Na- tional Swine show has brought together the most valuable and representative assemblage of por- cine aristocracy ever gathered. It offers an amaz- ing exhibition of perfection in pigs, fairly start- ling in its contrast to the careless city notion born of familiarity alone with the golden brown of sizzling -bacon, the tempting ¢rimson of broiled ham, or the alluring pink of a well fried chop. Pigs might have been pigs, merely, in that far-off day when swine were listed as “razor backs,” “hazel splitters,” “gate lifters” and the like, and were permitted to run wild under the trees, gath- ering the mast for sustenance and defying man’s best effort to cover their gaunt ribs with a proper coating of leaf lard. This unpromising animal has been, by scientific care, remodeled into a wonder- fully. efficient machine for turning corn, alfalfa and the like into meats whose savor wins epi- curean applause, and whose price on the market swells ‘the bank account of his thrifty breeder. His highness, the Hog, is no mean monarch, Nearly Time for a Change. The story of a disastrous collision between a street car and a switching train at Detroit says it is the third accident of the kind at the same crossing within the year. This would naturally suggest that the city authorities of Detroit should give some attention to this crossing. It is also a reminder that Omaha has a number of dangerous unprotected crossings; the Detroit crossing did have gates, but in Omaha even these are lacking. Appeals and protests alike are unavailing, appar- ently, for nothing is being done to make these dangerous places secure, The Missouri Pacific, notably, is able to defer action at will. Viaducts it was ordered to build several years ago have not been started, while the entire length of its Belt Line tracks presents a succession of unprotected grade crossings, most of them without as much as a flagman to warn traficc. How much longer are the railroads and the city commissioners going to dally over the question of making grade cross- ings safe? ——— Not this year, some other year, perhaps, the American electorate will realize their mistake in passing up the rich and juicy offerings of presi- dential bush leaguers. Everybody worth while understands how far the major candidates will go in saving the country. The bush leaguers go much farther afield, promising not only salva- tion but the abolition of cuspidors and the inau- guratiod of an era of joy-riding with the gov- ernment furnishing the limousines and the gas. Native perversity and the party” grip of the majors will as herctofore persist in rejecting the millenium. At one stage of the Mexican shell game Car- ranza, by co-operating with the American expedi- tion could have put Villa out of business conclu- sively. Instead he chose the part of bluster and harassing objections. He could annihilate the Villistas and insisted on doing the job. The utter failure of performance coming up to professions shows the futility of relying on Carranza’s assur- ances of border safety. . Mr. Wilson Indicts Himself St. Louis Globe-Democrat Edward Atkinson’s computation a generation ago was that production was about $200 per an- num per capita, It is possible, though not very certain, that 10 per cent of the production is saved. On this basis then, the nation is putting away about two billions of dollars. It is prob- ably saving a good bit more than that. The pro- duction has undoubtedly increased since 1880, and it is probable that the fraction accumulted from year to year has increased. The incredible multiplication of automobiles is tolerable evi- dence of the increased means of persons in com- fortable circumstances, but by no means rich. Since the war began we are estimated to have bought back a billion and a half of our own securi- ties. To that extent we owe less than we used to. We have to remit less interest to Europe. That interest becomes capital available for invest- ment at home and for financing foreign projects in our effort to encroach somewhat on the pero- gatives of London as the world’s money market. If we are not yet a creditor nation, we are mak- ing progress in that direction. : The progress is not confined to buying back our own securities and becoming the owners of our railways and industrials, During this wir we have so far become the world’s banker as to have loaned one and a third billion dollars to foreign governments and commercial enterprises. For this we shall get $60,000,000 or $70,000,000 in the way of interest for use at home or abroad. In the same two years we have put a good deal more than one billion dollars into building projects; these range from year to year between half a billion and three quarters of a billion dollars, and cover only a small part of the country, the big and middle sized cities. There is a vast amount of building in the smaller towns and the rural communities of which we have no report. Deposits in savings banks iacrease very slowly. The aggregate, is enormous, but the annual incre- ment consists largely of interest. The excess of deposits over withdrawals is- relatively small. Still, the savings banks account forms a part of the annual increase of the national wealth. They are supplemented by the co-operative building loan associations, which in considerable parts of the country are more¢ popular than the savings bank. The increase of life insurance has been extrentely rapid in the past twenty years, and reflects an in- creased ability to provide for the future. The in- creas in the assets of the life insurance com- panies in a decade is shown by these figures: 1904 ... ..$2,498,960,968 1914 ... .. 4,935,352,791 The amount doubled in ten years, Investment buying absorbs an immense volume of annual savings. That is, it is annual savings in a sense; as the community owes the amount of state and municipal bonds the purchase of these evidences of debt is not dirccl‘)y an addition to the national wealth; it is rather an anticipation of wealth to be produced. Thessale of securities, however, has its value as a reflection of the rate at which wealth is being produced. The employ- ment of traveling salesmen by bond houses is a comparatively recent development of the invest- ment business, and gives some idea of its im- portance. Even if the wealth represented by securities is yet in great measure to be created, the wealth expended in the purchases has already been created. The per capita wealth of the country as com- puted by the census bureau has, at least, relative value. The figures for three periods are as fol- lows: 1890 .. $1,035 1900 . 00 1,164 AV A - e 1,965 They agree with many other indications that wealth is accumulating faster now than it was a few years ago. The accumulations are not in a few hands, either; the tendency of wages to rise, and of interest to decline, is unmistakable, and ought to be reassuring to the sociologists. Fairbury News: Victor Rosewater would have an excellent foundation for a libal suit against the Omaha Examiner for the pictures it pub- lishes of him from time to time. They are fierce. O'Neill Frontier: - Now comes thé word that President Wilson is going to abandon his policy of “watchful waiting,” in the shade of Shadow Lawn, and hike out to Omaha to attend the Ak-Sar-Ben. While at Omabha, it is understood, the president will -be prevailed upon to deliver one of his nonspartisan addresses. Somebody must be “skeered.” Fort Calhoun Chronicle: The Omaha papers are trying to make their readers believe that President Wilson's visit to that city on Octo- ber 5 is a recognition by the chief magistrate of Ak-Sar-Ben’s greatness. Perhaps it is, but there is a possibility the president and his ad- visors realize that his presence there on this occa- ;ion7may be helpful to the cause about Novem- er /. Neligh Leader: Senator Hitchcock told the voters of the county during his visit why he thought he should be re-elected. Outside of pure politics the Leader cites some reasons why he should not be re-clected. In the first place, the sena- tor’s quarrel with Bryan and the president, which was purely a ‘pcrsonal one, lost to Omaha and this section of country a chance to obtain the location of the branch of the federal reserve bank| The' same incident lost to Omaha the Indian supply depot and the headquarters of a department of the army and will in all probabil- ity operate to lose for this section the location o{ one of the rural credit banks. These are a few of the things the senator has done for Nebraska, Beatrice Sun: The editor of the Omaha retail grocers' publication declares in favor of limiting the number of grocery stores. He declares that in Omaha there are nearly twice as many stores as are needed to serve the public, and that a smaller number, the exact number to be fixed by law, would be able to serve the trade better and at lower prices. The question which would at once arise, of course, would be whether the owners of the limited number of stores would be willing to sacrifice an opportunity for greater profits merely for the purpose of giving their patrons better \service and winning their good will. Any interference with the normal course of business, such as limiting the number of con- cerns engaged in any business, must always have tacked to it some provision for regulating prices and the methods of operating the business. People and Events American farmers and land speculators who vitalized Canada's boom during the past ten years have returned home to the number of 500,000. War is a reality up there. Style and wealth do not always make for speed. A New York woman who wanted to pre- vent her daughter’s marriage to a penniless suitor failed because her limousine could not catch the elopers in a jitney on a hilly road. The supreme court of Missouri hands a ham- mer blow to the secretary of state who refused to place a prohibition proposition on the ballot. A writ has been issued requiring the wet and dry question submitted to the voters at the coming election. At last the blow has fallen. Tobacco, hitherto immune to serious attacks, is now accused of propagating the germ of infantile paralysis. The awful indictment comes from a New York doctor, and what New York doctors don't know about the publicity side of disease isn’t warth seeking elsewhere. One of the late developments of war finance is the placing in New York of a loan of $50,000, by the municipaltiy of Paris. It is said to be the first instance of a municipality going abroad for funds. Principal and interest are payable in New York in gold, or in Paris at the rate of 5.50 francs per dollar, THE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 8, 1916. Thought Nugget for the Day. But spite of all the criticising elves, Those who would miake us fegl, must feel themselves. —Charles Churchill. One Year Ago Today in the War. Germans reported capture of great bFrench airship Alsace. Russian offensive in Galicia checked with loss of 4,000 prisoners. French air fleet of sixty-five fliers dropped bombs on German commu- nications in Champagne and the Ar- gonne. Russia ordered its minister to leave Sofla if Bulgaria did not break with Austria and Germany within twenty- four hours. In Omaha Thirty Years Ago. B. F. Redman, who for some time back has been a bonded warehouse clerk, has resigned his position and accepted that of claim agent for the H. T. Clarke Drug company. A. F. Spitko, city circulator of the German Tribune, was married to Miss Emma Getschmann at the residence of the bride's parents, 514 South Ninth street. The bride was attended by Miss Anna Miller and the groom by Juliug T. Festner. The Academy of the Bacred Heart, at their monthly literary meeting, were entertained by the following: Misses C. Creighton, A. Babcock, K. McHugh, A. McParlin, Jennie Gregg, L. McS8hane, Lowe, Nash and Dellone. Mrs. W. B. Millard gave a luncheon party, at which the following gueats were present: Misses Wakeley, Dun- dy, Sharp, Maud Woolworth, McCon- nell, Brown, Downs, Campbell, Ham- {lton, Lehmer, Knight and Morgan. The “Hyperion” is the name of a new soclal club, of which the officers are: N. J. Edholm, president; E. B. 8mith, vice president; H. D. Hicks, secretary, and Frank Buck, treasurer. Mrs. Benjamin Gallagher gave a ladies' reception from 3 to 6 o'clock and was assisted in entertaining by Mrs. Barker and M s. Creighton. Mrs. C. N. Dietz entertained a num- ber of friends at progressive euchre. Mrs. W. F. Allen won the ladies' first prize, three useful books bound in alligator; Mr. Coutant won the men's first prize, a card case in the shape of a tooth, while Mrs. Strauss and Mr. Stickney took the booby prizes, a pen wiper and a stamp case. Dr. McParlin's four daughters have arrived in Omaha. The eldest is a debutante and the others are attend- Ing the convent of the Sacred Heart. This Day in History. 1701—Isaac Norris, leader of the Quaker party in Pennsylvania for many years before the revolution, born in Philadelphia. Died there June 18, 1766. 1799—Willlam Henry Harrison, af- terward president of the United States, was elected a delegate to congress from Ohio. 1800—George Bancroft, the great historian, born at Worcester, Mass. Died at Washington, D. C, January 17, 1891, 1838—Black Hawk, leader of the great Indian war against the white settlers of the Mississippi valley, died while ‘encamped on the Des Moines river. 1862—The confederates attacked Rosecrans' army at Corinth, Miss. 1866—Signing of the peace of Vienna, by which Austria ceded Vene- tia to Italy. 1873—Execution’ of the Modocs, Captain Jack, Sconchin, Boston Char- ley and Black Jim, for the murder of General' Canby and Dr. Thomas at Fort Klamath, Ore. 1904—The thirteenth international peace conference opened in Boston. 1914—Rustem Bey, the Turkish em- bassador to the United States, left ‘Washington because of official dissatis- faction with his published views on American affairs. The Day We Celebrate. Dr. Charles E. Smith is 53 years old today. He was born in Davenport, Ia., and took his degree in dental sur- gery in the University of Pennsylvania, He located in Omaha in 1885, where he has since continued to practice his profession. Thomas Ring of the city detective. force was born October 3, 1863, in Canada. He came to this country at 17 years of age and has been in the police department since 1892. Pre- vious to that time he was in the ice business. Harry L. Brandt, accident insurance man, today will receive congratula- tions from his friends on his thirty- third birthday. Eleanora Duse, the most celebrated tragedienne of the Italian stage, born in Venice fifty-seven years ago today. Major General Willlam C. Gaorgas, surgeon general of the United States army, born at Moblle, Ala., sixty-two years ago today. ~Royal C. Johnson, representative in congress of the Second South Dakota district, born at Cherokee, Ia., thirty- four years ago today. Miss Virginia Gildersleeve, dean of Barnard college, born in New York thirty-nine years ago today. y Fred Clarke, former manager of the Pittsburgh Natlonal league base ball team, born in Madison county, Iowa, forty-three years ago. Timely Jottings and Reminders. A big celebration of the Indiana statehood centennial will open at South Bend today and continue until Friday. The annual convention of the Ne- braska Federation of Women's Clubs is to be entertained at Hastings dur- ing the three days beginning today. The annual convention of the South Dakota Federation of Women's Clubs is to have its opening today at Pierre, Shakespeare's plays are to form the basis of the great pageant to be given in St. Lonis tonight on the opening of the thirty-ninth annual Veiled Prophet carnival. Muskegon, Mich,, is to be the meet- ing place today of the tenth annual national convention of the Railway Men's Relief association. The annual convention of the Rail- way Fire Protection association is to meet in New York City today for a session of three days. Theodore Roosevelt and Willlam H. Taft, four years ago rival candidates for the presidency, are to meet and shake hands at a reception at the Union League club in New York to- night. Charles E. Hughes will be the guest of honor. | Storyctte of the Day. A young fellow, who:has not long been married, usually confides his troubles to a friend whose matrimo- nial experience covers a period of twenty years. One day the former remarked very despondently: “I said something to my wife she didn't like, and she hasn't spoken to me for two days. The eyes of the old married man brightened. “Say, old top,” he ex- claimed eagerly, “can you remember what it was you said?"—New York } Times. EDITORIAL SIFTINGS. Philadelphia Ledger: Whenever a demo- erat has nothing else to do he goes on ex- plaining the Maine result. Chicago Herald: Every time Carranza blows an unusually large and brilliant bubble for the edification of Washington that bad | boy Villa steps in and pricks it for him_ Cleveland Plain Dealer: A lot of people re glad they aren't railroad men now. Wouldn't it be awful to have to work eight whole hours, by law? Washington Post: We should not be sur- prised at any time to see in the Athens Ga- zette that M. Keechiffilous had been elected premeir of the local hay fever association. Springfield Republican: Poliomyelitis ia a long, hard word, but the theories about it come from the primer, as rat, fly, milk, ant, flea. Our fathers never suspected that such menace could lurk in those words of one | syliable. New York World: Merchandise exports for August, $510,000,000. This is abo ve the average for a whole year in the early seven- ties and more than one-half the yearly aver- age as late as twenty yea . Excess of exports over imports of §31 single month is almost one. as large as the highest record excess for a whole year before last year. Baltimore American: A Scotch munitions factory is in the future to employ women only. This is one sign of the industrial con- ditions which are to confront the various na- tions at the end of the war. In some of the more autocratic governments there may be a temporary settlement of these conditions by force, but this will simply be postponing the inevitable, or, perhaps still worse, be hastening an industrial revolution. The woman question involved in the industrial problems brought about by the war is bound to bring about radical changes. Springfield Republican: No wonder that the collector in Cleveland, who paid $200,000 in New York for a tapestry presented by the French king to the emperor of China in 1766, and looted from the palace in Pekin at the time of the overthrow of the Manchu dynasty, desires to keep his name secret. It is after the fashion of handbag stolen goods from time immemorial. “The heathen Chinee,” as Bret Harte called him, will know just what to think about the transaction, for honesty in buying and selling has been accounted as a Chinese trait highly valued from days that go far back of our western civilization. GRINS AND GROANS. Galleigh—Here's the dress suit you loaned me, old man, and many thanks. It didn't fit me very well, s0 1 had the taillor make a few alterations Green—The deuce you did! Well, of all the— Galleigh—Oh, it's all right, old chap; I told him to send the bill to fe.—Boston Transcript. “This cake tastes a trifle queer, my dear. How did you make 1t?" “T made it from a recipe I eut from & magagine. 1 have quite @ collection of recipes. Here is the one." “Um. This 13 for cleaning a straw hat."— Loulsville Courfer-Journal. Sunday School Teacher—And the father of the prodigal son fell on his neck and wept. Now, why did he weep? " Tommy Tuffnut—Huh! 1 guess you'd weep, too, if you fell on your neck.—Life. “What am I to do about the mistakes I made in pairing off those couples at the table?"" “Do what you should do with all mis- takes—repalr them."—Baltimore American. | you some enemies?"” “I'll have to take a chance,” replied Sen- ator Sorghum. ‘“Sometimes it's better to have a few enemies 80 &s to keep you from getting too good-natured and careless.'— Washington Star. Jennle (aged elght)—It says in the paper that arfother oc-to-gen-ar-lan is dead. What s an oc-to-gen-ar-ian? Herbert (aged ten)—I don't know what they are, but they must be awfully sickly. ) n't you afraid your course will make ow — Flubdub—That's a bad cold you have, Guzzler. Are you taking anything for it? | Guzaler—Thanks, old man. 1 don't care if | T do.—Judge. Author—Now, T want your honest opinion. Tell me what faults you see in my book. Friend—Well, for one thing, I think the | covers are too fur apart.—Boston Transcript. I | DERR. MR. KABIBBLE, MY FIANCE SAVS SHAY HE Woud NOY GIVE ANCTHER GiRL A SECOND LOOK— SHOUD X BELBE HM? ~=L\LLIE LAKTKER YES-BUEHNEWW YIMED HIS FIRST Lock? KA “Everybody that is anybody has a ear” “Yes—and everybody else has what they call one.”"—Puck. You seem perfectly happy nowadays,” re- | marked the loyal constituent. “Do you feel assured of victory In the approaching elec- tion ?"* “Not absolutely,” replled Congressman Hammfatt comfortably, “but I have made a deal with my opponent so that happens he and 1 will divide the ple."—Rich- mond Times-Dispatch. | THE WEDDING DRESS. Beatrice Barry In New York Times. Ah, well, the wedding is over and Sue and the boy are gone, And somehow, although I miss her, I don't feel @ bit forlorn. I know he will make her happy, and, now that the thing is done, I don't feel I've lost a daughter; I feel that I've gained a son. | Well, well! The day when Sue told me her | volce Had a_wondrous thrill | My thoughts wenf back to my own youth, for it all seems vivid still. Jack says that we look like sisters, though I'm 42 today, But 1 was just Sue and I ran away. age—20—when Jack | T met him down In the garden by the tall pink hollyhock. I was dressed {n a blue sunbonnet and a lit« tle gingham frock. We just ran off and got married, and it grieved me more or less— I wanted a vell. and flowers, and s satin wedding drees! Then Jack found out, and he teased me, though he sald, “If you but knew, No wedding gown could have added to the loveliness of you. Your eyes were like deep blue gentians, end sunbeams brightened your hair— What mattered the gown you wore, love, when your rosy lips were there?" Of course that s just Jack's folly, and it happened years ago; I laugh myself at the memory—but I do love “pretties” so! It all came back when Sue told me, and quite suddenly I saw My chance for the ‘“truly” wedding that couldn’t have before! Sue left it to me to manage—shes seemed to be in a daze, And all I could do this morning was to feast my eyes and gase. My Susle looked llke an angel, though she seemed a trifle pale; Her eyes shone bright with love's own light through her misty wedding vell. She had the things I had longed for—I tingled with pride to see How sweet she looked and how pretty! (They say that she looks like me!) My dead youth rose up to greet me—and then (oh, how did he guess?) Jack afterward came and caught me— decked out in the wedding dress! Sald he, “Was the bride forgotten? Well here is another groom! Supposa that we start tomorrow on another honeymoon He touched my halr, tenderly smoothed it back; And I—I reached up and kissed him. There's nobody ltke my Jack! oh, so gently, and (| tel the First! 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