Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, August 15, 1916, Page 4

THE OMAHA DAILY BEE, " FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR TRE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY, PROPRIETOR. Entered at Omaha postoffice as second-class matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Daily and Sunday. Daily without Sun Evening and Sunday g.unlu n'hh.ut] Sunday. only.....o0.. Dlll“d"nn?"!nl;hy Bee, ;m:‘ed" .n # chang 8 Isi:':rynt:: ‘o'm:hl Bu.-c:rtnl-tlun Department. REMITTANCE. - Rem! expres tal order. Only 2-cent stamps Token T ayment of smal) sccounts. Personal checks, except on a and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICES. Omaha—The Bee Building. South Omaha—2318 N street. Couneil Bluffs—14 North Main street. Lincoln—526 Little Bufldlns Chicay 8 Gas Building. New York—Room 803, 286 Fifth avenue. St. Louis—808 New Bank of Commerce. Washington—725 Fourteenth street, N. W. CORRESPO 'DENCE. N ] ddres: ications relating to news an litorial :Ifllr.'&m Bee, Editorial Department. JULY CIRCULATION. 57,569 Daily—Sunday 52,382 Dwight Williams, circulation manager of The Bee being duly sworn, says thst the B culation {0 the month of July, 1916, was 7068 daily and 52,382 Sunday. , Circulation Manager. DWIGHT WILLIAMS, Cf m Manager. Subseribed in my presence and sworn this 34 day of Ausu [PRT HUNTER, Notary Publle A OR T A, s B ol s Brton B oS Subscribers leaving the city temporarily should have The Bee mailed to them, Ad- dress will be changed as often as requested. P o anbiombr v . adbariSiihoondloe S, it Y Hughes has ‘em on the run—toward the rear. [ ¢ Watch King Corn surprise his enemies on the ? bome stretch! T A -s \ “Strict accountability” is also in for a real test in the railroad wage dispute. Put the Nebraska state fair at Lincoln down on your calendar for the first week in September. Members of the land bank board are going to have a nice summer excursion, anyway, whatever else may be coming to them later, emm— At the rate the democrats are speéding up with | appropriations, the federal treasury is bound to take on the aspect of a squeezed lemon. Sa——— ‘' Our democratic friends do not like the speeches which Mr. Hughes is making. He is scoring altogether too many center shots to suit them. | Democrats in congress are scraping the bottom of the revenue can without finding enough lucre _to meet the padded bills. Appropriating the money before getting it steadily carves the party's epitaph. . That Illinois laborer who has just inherited a $200,000 slice of his uncle’s fortune deserves more ‘sympathy than congratulation. Any job of labor is an eight-hour stunt beside the continuous task of holding on to a roll of easy money. - “In’ his: political advertising, the democratic senator from Nebraska pretends that he has stead- fastly 1d the hand of President Wilson and sincere support to all the administration © measares. Call Mr, Bryan back to the witness : stand! . 8 <Senator Tom Taggart again protests against . the extravagance and vast waste of the democratic congress. . The enormity of the party’s incompe- tence in public sffairs may be inferred from the zt that Indiana’s junior senator can't stand it, $ The new dean of our Creighton Medical uni- versity declares the infantile paralysis scourge " that is carryiiig off so many children in New York is nothing but a newspaper epidemic. He knows how to get the free advertising by telling people what they like to hear. 3 Em— . Congre, Hay assumes responsibility for _ the “joker” in the army bill, As is usual with legislative “jokers,” the Hay job was accomplished in the dark and slipped over without the knowl- e of the legislative body. The achievement furnishes a personal measurement of the man oo the president seeks to promote to the fed- T bench. ‘When the great European war broke out every report had the aged emperor, Francis Joseph of Austria-Hungary, on the verge of death and car- ried complete assurance that the old man could mpouibly bear up lorg under the new burdens grief and responsibility. But here he is, after years of the fight, with no visible deterioraton the wear and tear, He is certainly a wonder!| —— . No, there is no question as to the issue of railroad regulation between the republican and the democratic national platforms. The republic- ‘afip recognize the outstanding fact that the trans- portation system of the whole country, as now de- veloped, is a unit and must eventually be con- _ trolled by one central authority, while the demo- "crats still cling to the obselete ided of forty-eight independent and conflicting regulating bodies. : —e % Pittsburgh Dispatch. “Seuator William Joel Stone of Missouri, chair- man of the committee on foreign relations, sur- prised the senate the other day by saying that in view of the fact that the newspapers no longer ted speeches he had thrown into the waste et speeches that he had labored on and pre- ed, speeches that he ‘wanted to make and that : hated 3 aIl‘ 1 believed,” sal , “that the speeches that 1 have incubated would be taken up by these men ) there in the press gallery and exploited before millions of men and women who read their papers, I doubt if there is any power in the senate or outside that could keep me from deliverin “them. I would sure maké them. But, as it is, % what would happen if I made them. If newsmen said anything about them at all, y would have the good ent, the discrim- g taste, to confine their observations to a about as long as my index finger. That is s, and we all know it, Then,” he ded with a burst of sypreme common sense, -are you uukin,lthue speeches for?”" t indeed? It is not necessary to deliver to get them in the Congressional Record to print, but who reads the Congress- he senal orator might as well imself to the birds from the top of the on monument ao"(ar -‘; t&:flh or ufisé press gallery senate an ly reflects the attitude of the p\lb&t,:hl! censoring unnecessary es. Who ded speeches nowadays? THE BEE Holding Them to Strict Accountability. The party in power is always answerable for its record of performance or lack of performance and is properly called to account for its miscon- duct of affairs or its failure to redeem pledges. It has been the invariable practice in all national campaigns to subject to the severest test a presi- dent seeking re-election as a popular endorse- ment of what he has done during his first term. It is not the novelty of Mr. Hughes’ attack on the Wilson administration, therefore, that evokes the protests of the democrats, but the fact that the democratic record is so vulnerable and so wanting in material for defense that makes the democratic organs seek shelter by charging that the exposure violates propriety. The people must not be allowed to forget that President Wilson and the democratic party were invested with power four years ago on a platform arraigning the republicans for all sorts of ter- rible things—for profligate waste of public money, for bringing about the high cost of living, for the Payne-Aldrich tariff bill, for proposing a federal reserve bank system, for so-called militarism in the Philippines. President Wilson went into power also upon numerous distinct pledges. The democratic platform adopted at Baltimore, for example, promises a one-term presidency, future presidential nominations by direct primary, hon- est enforcement of the civil service law, reduced cost of living, a strictly revenue tariff, a strength- ened anti-trust law, exemption of American ships from Panama canal tolls, a return to simplicity and economy in government and a reduction of the number of useless offices—every one of which promises has been flagrantly violated despite the additional solemn assurance that “our pledges are made to be kept when in office as well as relied upon during the campaign.” Another disregarded plank, most vital of all, reads: “We pledge our- selves anew to preserve the sacred rights of American citizenship at home and abroad.” In the face of the record, is it any wonder the democrats would like to claim immunity from humiliating exposure and destructive criticism? No wonder they would prefer campaign platitudes and generalities to the specific indictments that Mr. Hughes is piling up and on which the demo- crats fear to go before the court of public opinion. Dr. John Murpl’ly of Chicago left a million dollars, and no will. He did express a wish that his body be devoted to the uses of science, but made no disposition of his property. This cir- cumstance would be unique, and perhaps entitle Dr."Murphy to entry to the news columns for a moment. But he left something of far greater importance to humanity than money or his pale cadaver. His great bequest is the “Murphy but- ton,” a simple device that has made intestinal surgery safer than the most ambitious scientist before his time dreamed of. Dr. Murphy found scientists limited by conditions that all but for- bade laparotomy, The body was opened only when certain death threatened the victim. His courage and skill, with his splendid qualifications for imparting his knowledge by example and pre- cept, established a new era in curative surgery. Relief has been given millions who would have died before Dr. Murphy showed how to succor them. Surgeons throughout the world honor his name, and his memory will last while the science endures. . No millions of money ever minted can match the monument made for this man by the Murphy button, SS— / Mr. McAdoo Stands Pat. The democratic secretary of the treasury isn't going to be stampeded by any criticism that may be lodged against his management of affairs, so far as it has to do with the removal of employes, par- ticularly republicans, to “reward deserving demo- crats.” He says the public isn't interested, which is the euphemism for “it's nobody's business.” It was within his power to remove Mr, Clapp, who was an old and experienced officer, having risen through all grades of the service, and who had served under many administrations, and he did it. “Battery Dan” Finn has long been a potent factor in creation' of democratic majorities on the lower end of Manhattan island, and where could a more denrvign. democrat be found than “Battery Dan's” . own son? So the younger Finn got the place Clapp vacated under pressure. Suppose John G. Carlisle, when he was secretary of the treasury, did take Clapp for his confidential clerk? What did Carlisle, or Grover Cleveland, or any of that lot know of democracy as exemplified by Wilson, McAdoo, Bryan, Redfield, Burleson and that ilk? Mr. Cleveland’s greatest quarrel with his party came over a matter that will never be laid at the doors of Woodrow Wilson, Mr, Cleveland stood firmly for the enforcement of the civil service law, and headed off a proposed raid by his partisans. That law is now a dead letter and is treated as a good joke by the president, his son-in-law and other of the leaders, whose effrontery in removing capable officers to reward political workers is only equalled by their hypocrisy in pretending to improve the service. Products of the Playground. Mahdan park is well named. The Mandans were blue-eyed Indians, who lived in houses, and practiced the arts of an effeminate civilization. They withered and perished in the presence of a more vigorous race. Far be it from us to chide the dead and gone Mandan for living up to his light. In Omaha we have the Mandan playground, where a demonstration of results achieved during the summer was held on Sunday, taking on the form of an exhibition of patchwork quilts. The' prize was won by a sturdy lad, who showed un- usual adaptability and excellent proficiency with a needle. Somersaults and flipflaps are given over at the Mandan playgrounds for the more in- vigorating pastime of piecing quilt blocks. Sew- ing carpet rags will take the place of the turning pole, and the muscle grind will be supplarited by ithe crochet needle, -If ever the youngsters must indulge in really violent exercise, they will be per- mitted to participate in the active game of “but- ton, button,” an admirable substitute for base ball and similar sports. For this we raise them. —— Secretary McAdoo waves aside the charge of packing the New York custom house with Tam- many braves. | Attaching Battery Dan Finn's fam- ily to the federal payroll is of little consequence in itself, but illustrates in a striking manner the party policy of placing incompetent political heels ers in one of the most important divisions of the public service. — The ri;‘ht of an employer to discharge an em- ploye for attending the state camp of military in- struction is before the courts of New York. It is the first time the issuc has been raised in the courts and its progress to a decision will be watched with more than local interest. ’ & Rric e [ODAY Thought Nugget for the Day. Have love! Not love for one alone, But as man thy brother call; And scatter like the circling sun, Thy charities on all. —Schiller. One Year Ago Today in the War. Russians claimed further progress in Caucasus campaign. . Austrians bombarded Belgrade, but ceased when Serbians began shelling Semlin and Pan- scova. b Germans pushed Russians back from Kubisko and advanced from northwest and south toward Brest-Litovsk. This Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago. J. K. Sturgeon of Lancaster, O., has purchased the grocery store at 2716 Farnam street and will continue the business on an enlarged scale. At a picnic, held by the Burns club at Pries lake, a game of quoits was played by the fol- CuRses -a g Naer \ lowing: W. R, Drummond, Will Nugent, J. W. Muir, A. K. Grey, George Anderson and Charles Cheney. In the first game Drummond and Nu- gent beat Muir and Grey, and in the second game Anderson and Cheney breat Drummond and Nu- gent, the score being 20 to 21. E. Rosewater has left for Cleveland to attend the annual reunion of the old-time telegraphers. Helwas accompanied by his wife and his daughter, Nellie. Harry Woodward, bookkeeper for Barkalow Bros., has packed his grip for a three weeks’ roughing it in Wyoming territory. A Bailey & Olesen have commenced suit in the district court against G. A. Linquist to recover $2,000 still unpaid on the three-story building of the latter on, Jones, west of Tenth, General O'Brien has gone to Norfolk to be present at the soldiers’ reunion; Mrs. General O’Brien and son, M. P., have gone to Chicago, where the latter will attend the national land convention, and Nick O’Brien, another son, has left for Seattle. Auditor Long has received for the citr twenty- four new tin poll boxes. There is a large and small size, the former being used for general and the latter for special elections. They are painted black and lettered according to precinct. This Day in History. 1771—Sir Walter Scott, the famous novelist and poet, born in Edinburg. Died at Abbots- ford, September 21, 1832, 1786—First symptoms of “Shay’s rebellion” develog:d at a convention in Worcester, Mass. 1812—Garrison at Fort Dearborn, by order of General Hull, evacuated the fort; attacked and massacred by Indians the next day. 1824—General Lafayette landed in New York City to begin a tour of the United States as the guest of the nation. 1842—Officers and soldiers who died in the Seminole war buried at St. Augustine with mili- tary honors, and a monument erected by their comrades. 1845—Founding of the Swiss colony at New Glarus, Wis. 1869—Rejoicing at Suez tp celebrate meeting of waters of the Red sea and the Mediterranean. 1891—City of Berne, Switzerland, celebrated the 700th anniversary of its foundation. 1903—Budlgaria sent a memorandum to the Powers, detailing ovtrages committed by Turkey in Macedonia. 1906—King Edward VII visited the German amperor at Friedrichshof, 1911—A wind storm at Charleston, S. C., de- stroyed a million dollars in property. The Day We Celebrate. H. C. Bostwick, gre-ident of the South Omaha National bank was born August 15, 1844, at Tren- ton, N. J. He has been in his present position since the bank started in 1886 and is interested also in a number of other banks. Moshier G, Colpetzer, treasurer of the Chicago Lumber company, is just 39 years old today. He is an ‘Omaha born boy and is a graduate of the Omaha high school“and of Phillips Andover academy. He was manager of the Chicago Lum- ber company at Grand Island for seven years, taking the management in Omaha in 1906, Dr. Lewis Swoboda, J:hyliciln and surgeon, was born August 15, 1869, in Moravia and came to this country in 1880, He graduated in medi- cine from the Omaha Medical college and is now countfi physician, John B. Sheldon of the Union Pacific tele- graph department, is just 5. He was born in Ottawa, Canada, and started in as telegraph mes- senger for the Montreal Telegraph company in 1873. He was promoted to his present position in 1907. Mme. Emma Calve, famous operatic singer. born in south of France, 50 {eara ago today. Ethel Blr.rymore. one of the noted actresses of the American stage, born in Philadelphia, 37 years ago today, . Mrs. John A. Logan, widow of the famous civil war commander, born in Boone county, Mo., 78 years ago today. ery Albert Ballin, director-general of the Hgmburg-Amencnp line and chief director of railways and supplies for the German army, born fifty-nine years years ago today. Albert { Hopkins, former Jmted States sena- tor from Illinois, born in De Kalb county, Ill, seventy years ago today. Charles A, Comiskey, owner and president of the Chicago American league base ball club, born in Chicago fifty-eight years ago today. Timely Jottings and Reminders. Today is the 500th anniversary of the great naval victory of the British over the French off Harfleur. “Near beer” cannot be sold in the District of Columbia after today without a liquor license, New Jersey will today put into effect a state- wide quarantine because of the infantile paralysis epidemic, Thousands of delegates are expected at Toledo today for the opefing of the biennial national convention of the Luther league of America. Two thousand or more civilian sailors, re- cruited from all sections of the country, are to embark at various ports today on the Atlantic, guf and Pacific coasts to begin the practice cruises arranged by the Navy department. Photographers from half a dozen states will assemble today at Des Moines for the opening of the annual convention of the North Central Photographers’ association, Stamp dealers and collectors of note from all sections of the country will gather in Wash- ington today for the -annual convention of the Southern Philatelic association, 3 C‘hlrlen‘ E. Hughes, republican nominee for resident, is scheduled to speak this afterncon at eattle and tonight at Tacoma. Three thousand six hundred are to be held in Detroit tonight to mark the inauguration of the graycr campaign which will precede the “Billy” Sunday revival. Story-ette of the Day. The dean of a western university. was told by the students that the cook at the dining hall was turning out food “not fit to eat.” The dean summoned the delinquent, lectured him on his shortcomings and threatened him with dismissal unless conditions were bettered. “Sir," said the cook, “you oughtn’t to place s0 much importance on what the young men tell you about mg meals. They come to me in just the same way about your lectures.”"-—~Harper's Maga- zine, rayer meetings OMAHA, TUESDAY, AUGUST 15, 1916. Can This Be Enlightened Omaha? Omaha, Aug. 13.—To the Editor of The Bee: Recently I had occasion to wait an hour for friends in our beautiful Hanscom park. I sat on one of the seats near the bandstand, just a few yards from the well, or pump, from which rarely cold, clear spring water, such as is to be found in several of our parks, could be obtained. The day was in- | tensely hot, and weary picnickers, casual | passersby, romping children and hurrying men of affairs, one and all hied themselves | to the spot of refreshment mentioned above. To our surprise—and disgust—we observed | that, with very few exceptions, the same cup, generous in size, and hitched to a chain, did impartial duty for all. A ragged tramp, with a month’s stubble cn chin and lip, wiped the perspiration from his brow, rinsed the cup carefully, drew deep quaffs of joy and wandered on. A gay young couple followed. The cavalier with devoted chivalry, rinsed the cup as the clear stream gushed forth and presented it with graceful gesture to the dainty miss at his side. Next came a couple of boys on wheels—none too clean in appearance. Then followed another pair—weary comrades of the road—who had evidently been looking too long upon “the cup that cheers.” An old maid trotted prim- ly up to the pump, and laying down her book and package reveled in the ministry of the sparkling water. Then the children from the slides, and a man, so lame and shaky in his halting walk, that I wondered if he would ever reach his destination without a fall, his lean, diseased face arousing as much repul- sion as pity. A dapper young man, hurriedly snatched a drink from the same death-deal- ing ugensil—horrors ! Can this be Omaha, and this an enlightened day! Where are the guardians of our public health? Surely not in Hanscom park that hot summer afternoon! MERELY ONLOOKER. As to the Stay-at-Home Vote. St. Mary, Neb.,, Aug. 18.—To the Editor of The Bee: In reviewing the presidential votes of 1908 and 1912, I find appalling figures, namely the negligence of the Ameri- can voter to exercise his rights of franchise. I shall only use even thousands as fractions are immaterial. Wilson was elected by an overwhelming electoral vote, but his popular vote was 117,000 less than Bryan received in 1908, He receive: s electoral majority because the republican party was split. But the fact remains that the combined vote for Taft and Roosevelt was 59,000 less than Taft received in 1908. Chaffin, prohibition, received 46,000 less in 1912 than in 1908. A total loss of 229,000 votes. Basing on the increase of population there should be/ an increase of approximately 500,000 votes for the four years, and this would indicate a missing vote of 729,000. ‘The socialist gain from 1908 to 1912 was 476,000, deduct this and we have a net loss of 268,000 stay-at-home votes over that of 1908, Why this apathy? Why do the American citizens not more readily exercise their rights of franchise? Not only exercise their privilege, but their duty? In conversation not long since with a well read and man of more than three score years, he said he cast his first vote for Samuel J, Tilden, 1876, and although during every campaign better conditions had been promised the laboring and producing classes, none of the promises had been fulfill d added, “It makes no difference who lected they do just as they please anyhow.” This man evi- dently had lost faith in American institu- tions. Is it not possible the same is true of & majority of the stay-at-home vote? If 80, {8 it not time we werw asking ourselves, What can be done to restore confidence? H. SHUMANN. Heat of the Sun. Gibbon, Neb., Aug. 14.—To the Editor of The Bee: In reply to William Smith's ans- wer to my article, I would say that his first contention is quite superfluous wherein he reiterates what every 10-year-old school child should know—that the direct rays of the sun give more heat in a given locality than do shooting rays. He ignored the fact that I said “the world over,” which means the whole earth. . Now, if he can show that the whole earth, irrespective of localities, is only warmer when we are at perihelion in January than when we are at Aphelion n July, we will concede the point; otherwise the objection is overruled. He says the two inner planets are too hot to be inhabited—hot as boiling water—and the four outside ones are too cold, 273 de- grees below. Isn't it strange that in a family —four of them from larger than our own— only one suitable for habitation, present or perspective? Why such a stupendous waste of material and energy ¥ He says the reason that fire, lamp or gas light will not throw a hot focus through a lens, like sun or electric are light, is because the sun or arc light is so much stronger than fire, oil or gas heat. I beg leave to differ with him. The sun's heat may not be more than 70 degrees where it strikes the lens and down to 273 degrees below a few miles up and yet throw a focus that will ignite paper, while the lens may be held where the fire heat runs to 278 degrees above or more and atill throw a cold focus, the acetylene light may approach near enough to the electric to give a trace of heat at the focus. Physicists and scientists a few centuries ogo believed the world was flat and the heavenly bodies revolved around it every twenty-four hours, which was about a sible as the grinding process in the sun producing such intense heat. Particles of matter hot enough to be in a state of fusion or liquefaction can produce no friction by rubbing together to produce more heat any more than could melted lead or hot water. In regard to relative strength of electric energy in far out or nearby planets, I used the word “approximately,” which seemed to have overlooked. Of course there is some elimination in emergy by resistance on long lines, whether by wire or through space. But let Mr. Smith try to send his heat by radiation over the same line and he would need a relay fire or “booster” about every four rods to keep up any appreciable degree of heat. His theory of sun spots looks very un- reasonable and, without an intensely hot sun, impossible. In regard to the inhabitability of other planets, he refers me to Simon Newcomb's work, published some fifty years ago. Mr. Newcomb also taught the now | obselete theory, promulgated by Laplace, about a century ago, that the planets were formerly a part of the sun and were thrown off from that body by centrifugal force. The sun rotates on its axis in twenty-five and | one-fifth of our days too slow to throw off anything, certainly not a lump as big as Jupiter, 1,200 times the size of our planet. I would refer him to a very comprehensive work, by Thomas J. J. See, “Researches on the Evolution of the SteNar Systems,” pub- lished in 1910, other planets are inhabited and shows how worlds are built up by ecapture of matter from surrounding space. A% ELLIOTT LOOMIS. EDITORIAL SIFTINGS.' Bosten Transcript: In the political creed of Charles E. Hughes there “ain't no sich animal” as a deserving democrat. Detroit Fress Press: A congressman, statistically inclined, s President Wilson has changed his mind fifty-two times. That one-track mind was well equipped with switeh, vidently; also turntables. Pittsburgh Dispatch: The president gets up early during the hot spell and there are some who think he may have to continue the practice until November .f that man Hughes continues to be so undignified. Cleveland Pain Dealer: Pretty soon a good many pairs of ears will be turned toward Maine. But Maine isn't the political indi- cator that the old crossroads store proverb said it was, The union goes right ahead without much regard sor the way Maine goss. Philadelphis Ledger: “Go over all the woodwork daily with a damp eloth” is one of the obligations laid upon New York policemen by the instructions of the Board of Health. This is arvother iliustration of the meticulous care with which every detail of living is supervised by impeccable suthor- l ity in these days. He makes it very plain that | 40, have tarnished your name and dishon- MIRTHFUL REMARKS. ored your family, all for the sake of threc miserable dollars." ) “Do you expect to make your ¢ realize the value of your service “That won't exactly be my obect in talk- ing to them,” said Senator Sorghum. ‘I want to get ‘em Into a genial frame of mind that will make 'em friendly an’' not so particular as to whether they are get- ting their money's worth,''—Washington Btar tituents s o “Please be fair,” sald the prisoner. “Was it my fault there were so few ?"'—New York Times. THE HOUSE OF “THEY.” Youth's Companlon. Have you heard of the terrible family ‘They 7" And the dreadful, venomous things they say” Why, half the gossip under the sun, If_you trace it back, you will find begun In that wretched House of “They."” DEAR MR.KAB\BBLE, ° 1 HAD DINNER AT A YOUNG LADY'S HOME AND SHE \§ A GREAY COOK — SHOULD T MARRY HER- T A numerous family. so I am told, And its genealogical tree 1s old; For ever since Adam and Eve began | To build up the curlous race of man Has existed the House of “They." — YOMMY EASTWO0D BE CMEFULi—EMAmE AW A MoHER (00KS HER BEST AND THEN § IVES( “THE DAUGHYER? CREDIT'! Gossip mongers and spreaders of lies, Horrid people, whom all despise; And vet the best of us, now and then, | Repeat queer tales about women and men And quote the House of “They."” They live like lords and never labor. (e A “They's" one task ls to watch his neigh- bor And tell his business and private affairs. To the world at large they are sowers of tares— These folks in the House of “They.” Hick—How 1s your gurden getting along? ! Tick—Great! When my wife wants (o] tind me I shake a weed.-—Judge Lawyer—You say you want this damage | Tt is wholly useless to follow a “They” sult pushed through with the utmost speed? ' With a whip or a gun, for he slips away Client—Exactly. 1 have a child 6 weeks|And into his house, where you cannot go, old und I want the money to pay his|It I8 locked and bolted and guarded so— college expenses.—Philadelphia Ledger. |, This horrible House of “They. Though you cannot get in, they get out, And spread thelr villainous tales about, | Of all the rascals under the sun Who haveécome to_punishment, never one Belonged to the House of “They." The judge was ing sentence on a| very defiant looking cuiprit “This is a sad case,” his honor sald. You, who remained honest until you were | TR R ATTANTIC ]l I prrpemti1 ““95‘&1;\\{0 YCIZZJA MENf IS NGroy ot [ - 3 " Wonderful_EasE—This Year For variety of attractions, the great cities, historic ‘places, and mountains, rivers, lakes and ocean resorts of the East afford an un- rivaled vacation. = - Low fares to a few Eastern points follow: New York and return...... ..$55.80 Boston and return. 54.60 Buffalo and return.......... . 4245 Niagara Falls and return . . 42.45 Atlantic City and return....... . 57.30 Portland, Me., and return . . 52.90 Montreal and return . 45.20 Toronto and return .. . 40.10 Tickets on sale June 1st to September 30th. CHICAGO ] Milwaukee & St. Paul : RAILWAY ‘Three trains daily to Chi including the famous steel equipped “Pacific Limited.” Direct connections with trains for all points east. Double Track Automatic Block Signals Steel Equipment Tickets, sleeping car reservations and full information at 1317 Farnam Street, Omaha EUGENE DUVAL. 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