Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, October 15, 1915, Page 9

#hosesarish they had the | Explains What the By DOROTHY DIX. This 18 the fifth commandment of mat- rimony: Thou shalt not make of thyself the one-who-must-be-obeyed, for, verily, few there be who love “ thetr jallers. There probably are no married couples in the world, no matter how loving or be- loved, who do mot have times and seasons when they courage to smash thelr wedding rings and tear up their marriage certifi- cates, and make a break for their lost Iiberty. It is thea we marvel, not at the large number of _ dtvorces, but that divoros is not universal, and that poor, weak humari nature has the strength to @0 on dragging its ball and chaln when 1t could so easily break its fetters. Tor there is rio galnsaying the fact the . awverage couplo make of the holy estate , nothing but a prison house, and that | 'When they get married they get a life | pentence with hard labor, with no com- | mutation for good conduct, and no hope of being pardoned out. And it is because,peopls are beginning o realise that the married have written . mbove thelr doorways, “Abandon free- dom all ye who enter here,” that men, and women also, are beginning to fight more and more shy of matrimony. Peacheg and matinee heroes may look . §00d to youths and maldens, but, oh, you latch key! It is one of life's little ironies that we bring to the greatest crists in our whole ! the least intelligence of which we are ocapable. We all know, for in- stance, the one undying passion of the human heart is for liberty. For it men fight and die, for it women become mar- tyrs of sacrifice, giving those who are dearer than life to them, Yet, knowing this, knowing freedom is the very breath of life to every man and woman with a soul, we deliberately proceed to wreck matrtmony by making it a penal Institution, and setting up a tyrant on the hearth, who makes Nero look like Warden Osborne. When the average man marries a ‘woman he qualifies immediately as head Jafler to her. He assumes the right to ‘boss her incoming and outgoing; to regu- late how much she shall pay for her clothes, and to say how many inches The Fifth Commandment ‘‘Leave the Door Open to Keep Wife or Husband,’ of Matrimony Means. Fifth Commandment her gowns shall be out out in the neck and off at the bottom. More than that he arrogates to him- selt the right to settle her opinions for her, and to decide whether she shall be- long to this club or that; whether she shall be an outspoken suffragists, or merely sympathize secretly with the feminist movement. Nor 1s the husband in much better ease. Some more freedom of action he has than the wife, because she can't keep up with him and exerciss her tyranny over him quite easily as he can over her. But she does her conscien- tious best, and that best is hard enough to endure, Not one marriel man in 100, no, not in 10,000, is free to stay down town of & | night to dinner if he feels like it, or to pass an evening with his old chonles, or to go off to the theater by himself, or to gratity any little whim of the kind. His jaller at home, who has given him a ticket of leave, to go out and pass the day toilint for her, is sitting up with her eye on the clock, ready to call time on him if he doeen’t show up on the minute. Nor has the average married man any Iiberty in his own home. He can't smoke ‘where he wants to, nor muss up the sofa cushions, nor have a room of his own in which he can leave things scattered about the way he likes them. He's not allowed to waste the money that would buy imported millinery on silly connections of butterflies, or beetles, or stamps. He's not permitted to invite the people he knew before that his wite hated at sight—to the house to dinner. He hasn't got even a whole closet nor a comb and brush of his very own. His wife even buys his neckties for him, and decides on the kind of food that is good for his stomach. Is it any wonder the poor matrimonial worms, male and female, turn at Jast? It s surprising that too much wife or too much husband gets on the nerves of thelr poor victims? it to be wondered st that widows and widowers give such marvelous exhibition of Christian resig- nation in bearing thelr losses? The answer to the conundrum of how to be happy though married is comprised in one word, and that word is freedom. Throw open the doors of the prison house you have made of domeésticity, Mr. Hus- band and Mrs. Wife. and glve vour poor | pining convict a breath of liberty. H In love we keep only what we Kive, and hold what we lose, and the way to keep a husband or wife from climbing over the fence Is to leave the doors wide open. Therefore, forget not the fifth' commandment of matrimony: Thou shalt ! not make of thyself the one who must be obeyed, for, verily, few there be who love their jailers, Our Worth in the World Our Own Fault If There is No Place for Us in the Schemes of Life. By BEATRICE FAIRFAX. “So long as we love we serve; so long as we are loved by some one, 1 would almost say that we are indispensible, and no man is useless while he has a friend.” —Robert Louis Stevenson. ““There fsn't any place for me in life. 2 Nobody wants me,” a sad little girl I now sighs over and over. To her mere 2 ving is.a desperate burden that she is hardly willing to carry. To her and all the other morbid souls who cannot find & place for themselves in the scheme of existance I want to talk today. “So long as we love we serve,” and the beloved “R. L. 8. whose own handicap of desperate fll-health did not prevent | ¢ him from lgaving the world books which are a veritable anthology of cheerfulness. ——— ONLY SIXTEEN, GIRL VERY SICK Tells How She Was Made Well by LydiaE.Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. New Orleans, La.—*‘I take pleasure tude to you. only 16 years old and | work in a tobacco } factory. I have been a very sick girl but I have improved i wonderfully since taking Lydia E. Pinkham’s =Miss AMELIA JAQUILLARD, 8961 Te- boupitoulas St., New Orleans, La. St. Clair, Pa. — ‘““My mother was alarmed because I was troubled with and had pains in my back and side, and severe headaches. 1had pimples on my face, my complexion was sallow, my sleep was disturbed, I had nervous ‘spells, was vel;ht.{ud and had no ambition. Lydia E. Pinkham'’s Veg- etable Compound has worked like a charm in my case and has regulated me. I worked in & mill among hundreds of girls and have recommended your medi- cine to many of them,’’—Miss ESTELLA Macuirg, 110 Thwing St., St. Clair, Pa. There is nothing that teaches more than experience. Therefore, such let- ters from girls who have suffered and ‘were restored to health by E Pinkham’s Vegetable Com should & lesson to others. The same remedy within reach of all. write to red b, L R - If there seems to be no place for you| in life, fsn't it because you are falling to give out to life any affection? The girl| of whom I speak looks upon men as/ ravening wild beasts. Her attitude to-| ward the whole scheme of existence is| one of criticlsm. She sees nothing any- where to like or admire or approve. If she meets some one who is kind and unseifish she persists in regarding that person as a strange exception to the gen-| eral rule. Within herself siie has created a world that does not know kindness or love or unselfishness. And having created that world she lives in it without trying kto give anything of help or service to the | tangible world that lies about her. She persists in regarding herself as an unhappy and lonely creature—and this in spite of the fact that she possesses one friend whom she knows she can trust, one friend who is loyal and kind, one! friend for whom she feels affection and in whom she feels affection and in whom | she can place faith. 1t never occurs to her morbid little soul that she owes something to that friend-| ship, that because someone worth while cares for her she has even at the mo- ment of her greatest unhappiness a place In life, and that she is of use to the world, in fact and In potentiality, because she has the friendship of a fine and ad- mirable soul. Every human being has a definite place in the scheme of things. It may be tiny now—perhaps it s going to be tiny for {always, but at least it is & place; no one so can fill it, and the individual who i put into it is a )nk in & chain. Just being alive carries with it a certain responsibility. How does sny of us know that any other human being can 4o the work we find to hand? How does any of us know that anyone else can do the {work we shirk in the mere fact that we { fall to look for it? None of us can look ahead so much as an hour; none of us knows what to- morrow will bring, It is possible that just by being at a given place at a certain time we may prove of inestimable value in the schemie of things—but more than this we all owe to life a state of “pre- parcdness.” To educate yourself so that you may be of service to the world in general and of value to those who care for you s a part of your duty, Even though you feel friendless and unnecessary in the scheme of things you have no guarantee that the state of af- fairs is going to last in & world of change. How then dare you throw away |your chance fo make ready to be of value to lite? Being of service to the world is In it- self valuable. It is the responsibility of life. No one has a right to sit around and think how miserable and lonely and unhappy and abused he or she is with- out recognizing the fact that there are plenty of people in like state. And If they are, anyone who can think must figure out her respensibility to help other unm- happy souls. Life isn't & thing to run away from; it 1s & thing to meet with outstretched hands of service, Into those tasks shall be put and in the fultilling of them lies more than mere usefulness to Hfe—duty to yourself and a chance to make a place for yourself in the world. FRIpAY o MoBrLr Bo they smuggle-—these vest-builders of the great cities, item—one man in overalls worn gray-—one little woman still young whose tn!l shoulders, their language aright, speak elogquently of untold In the Hands of Fate % . Copyright, countless, mm; Al iy, casual if you could read By ADA PATTERSON. “Tell her I'm out,” snapped the busy editor. Then, looking up in half apology for the conventional fib, for he is at heart an honest man, he said to me: “She's such & whiney woman, she gets on my nerves.” I know that wo- man. BShe is one of the kind of per- sons we respect, but avold. She honest, earnest, energetic, self-de- nying, but the edi- tor is right. She whines. Where- fore was she cut off from & base of supply of what she needed, mone; The editor s purchaser of id and of stories. She had plenty of both. But her methods of presentation of her ‘wares is unpleasant to him. Busy, anx- fous, hard pressed, he preferred to buy of one who turmed upon him a brave countenance, and who spoke orisply, briefly and “got out.”, The art of “get- ting out”’ when you have finished is one highly rated in an office. 0 am sorry for the woman. It was an unjust stand. The editor should have or- dered personal preferende to the rear and | kept them there. You're quite right, only we live in & world in which unfortunately wrong still flourishes. Injustices still exist. We find them growing thickest | perhape in what we give the vagne name, but that has an immense slgnificance to us all, “business down town." The mil- lentum s not liable to overtake us in this seneration. And yet, I find myself declining invita- tions from that woman. Invitations for @inger, for the theater, for a drive. And no other nor better reason than that whines. Omce I sald something about her. “I always feel like away from her. She has a voice i like & rat caught in & trap.” I was sorry about the speech after one who knew me had told me of her life story. It is true that it was dotted with vicissitudes. And yet I know a woman who has met even more and whose volce has the ring of courage. One of these women talks with her head bent as though she were afraid stones might be thrown at her. The other walks with her head high and her eyes steady, as though she defled fate! The one woman 1§ & downpour of discourage- ment. The other a well of courage. One thing it never pays to do is to whine. It is & good Investment to laugh. Laughter is a dividend paying bond. Bo is & light step. So is a cheerful smile. | For these beget confidence nd success, any financler you know will tell you, 18 builded upon confidence, The person who whines confesses her- self beaten, and a large part of the | world is still oruel to the beaten. If you are unsuccessful, if you haven't recetved the recognition you merit, if your em- ployer shows signs of longing for your successor, don't tell it. The persons who surround us In our business lives are busy about thelr own affairs. That makes them thoughtful of others. If you tell' them you are a faflure they will not stop to analyse. They will take for granted that whet you say of your- self 18 true. And they will remember that indigo mood of yours long after you have forgotten it Tell your troubles to your pillow and to the four walls of your room. They are the only confidants who can be trusted. Everyone faces some conditions he wishes were otherwise. Everyone has &t most times a tooth of disappointment gnawing at his heart. There is a big “If" that is the supreme obstacle to every- thing. The conditions of life are much the same for us all. Trouble there is always and will be untll the work in the far future becomes a vast harmony. It |18 only the form' or flavor of trouble | that Qiffers. But there is a difference in people. | There are whiners and non-whiners. Don’t whine, By NELL BRINKLEY M5, Interm’l strength to bear—and one small baby who slips #0 humbly and obscurely into this world that there is no acclaim of heralding save in the sing- ing hearts of his two “folks”—so0 they strugsgle in the hand of Fate—may they be held there safe and close.—NELL BRINKLEY, Why We News Servioe By VIRGINIA DE WATER., TERHUNE VAN (Copyright, 1915, by Star Company.) My wife had her own ideas as to how our home should be furnished. I had mine. Because these ideas were diam- trieally oppased, we had our first bitter quarrel. “You furnish the money and I'll fun nish the taste,” she once said jestingly. 1 knew she was in fun, yet I resented the speech. Wo boarded for the first eighteen months of our married life, then we so- lectod a pretty apartment not far from the river. The rooms were all light and my wifo and I agreed perfectly as to thelr beauty. “It will be great fun getting the furni ture,” Constance sald. “T wish we had more money to apend. But we can make the place lovely anyway." “Yoa" I sald, “wo can. And don't forget that 1 have In storage some ex- cellent pleces from my old home. When father died, you know, fhe furniture was divided among us boys" “Aren't those pleces very large for our rooma?’ Constance objected. “They are all right” I told her, I she remarked, quietly. But we argued no more just then. I went with her while she choss our wall paper. Our views did not agree at all. Sho wanted light, soft colors; I wanted bright, cheerful papers. But I remem- bered that, after all, Constance would be in the home more than I would. Yet when she spoke of twin beds for our room I protested. “They would be an unmecessary .ex- penea’ I eaid, “‘for T have mother's old hand-carved double " “Tho brass beds would be pretty,” Con- stance ventured, “Why buy them when we have some- thing so much handsomer?' 1 urmed. “This bed of mothers is I sald, hand carved and hardwood." Constance looked relloved. “Oh, wel,” st by Advice to Lovelorn Too Long to Walt. Miss Fairfax: 1 have a daughter D:‘;mu around with & boy who is in school-the girl is 1 The boy has to 0 one year more to high school and then to go about six years to He pays much attention to her and takes her out to places of amuse- ment, and she cares for him and doulfi y any attention to other boys. I ol Jook o her going out with him because 1 don't think it is advisable for a girl to g0 _around with a boy and walt seven years before he wlllh}.u;lln"collm will be able to earn i n'(l.‘m Seven years s too long for a girl to walt for a boy of 2 to grow up, finish his education and prepare to marry her. Don't, however, deal roughly with the romance or the young people may be impelled to do something as silly as elope, Perhaps if you invite him and other young people as well to your house and throw your daughter Into wholesome, Jolly young soctety instead of having her fiud her pleasure In “duets,” she will gradually outgrow this infatuation. The young man ought to be Able to finish his college training In three or four years at most. If the young people are sincerely and loyally in love and resist all your most taoctful efforts to: turn their love affalr into the channels of friendship, Ao you really feel that 24 or 2 would be too great an age for your daughter to attain in single state? If you care to write me your case at greater length and will give me your address I will be glad to make an exception in your instance and send you a personal letter, . “Season to Taste” ‘That's the important thing in most recipes. When you can do that well, you know much about cooking. Real season~ ing brings back the plates for a second helping. It gives food 1 taste that reminds you of the things “mother used to make.” There’s a knack in getting the flavor just right, of course, but the better the spices, the easier it is, That's why TONE’S SPICES are so popular with hundreds of housewives. They are strong, pungent and pure. Always 10c a package at men'. Allspice, Cloves, Pepper, Paprika, Ginger, Cinnamon, Nutmegs, Mace, Celery Salt, Pickling Spice, Mustard, Sage, Poultry Seasoning and others, TONE BROS., Des Moines Established 1873 Blenders of the Famous Old Golden Coffee No. 4—-The Man’s 8ide—The Husband Whose Wife Couldn't Agree with Him Gives His Story. : : : Quarreled sho said, “If it's really fine mahoguny, perhapa it will do very well after all.” When it came to furniture for the living room, we clashed again. She wanted some wicker chaira. I reminded her that wo had several comfortable armchaire n storage. I was sure that when she saw how nice the chairs were, she would be pleased. And as she let me have fy own way about this plan, T did not protest when she seleated eoru lade curtaing and a golden brown plush for the portieres of the lving room. “They will ko Very well with the white enamel paint and the pale yellow walls,” she eald. On the very day on which we selected the dining room furniture—a plain mis- sion-mado set that I did not really Mke— & telegram came from Constance's home saying that her mother, who was an in- valld, was worse, and asking her to come on and spend a fortnight with her It posaible. ' “I will have the apartment in complete, readiness for you by the time you re turn,” I sald as I took her to the train,, “You'd better walt to chooss the rugs until 1 come back,” she suggested. T did not promise, but she thought that, my silence meant consent, and she went away satistled. 1 had a good time getting the flat ready for her, and I planned it all as & pleas-. ant surprise for my dear wife. I had the armchalrs for the Mving room recovered, a8 they had been In my childhood, with A stunnifif peacock-blue brocads. It was son satin, The rug I selected combined the two blues and reds I had selected. I was sure that Constance would think so, too, and I resolved not to call her attention to the mistake she had made in select! brown hangings, The carved bed was polished in place, and I chose & pretty blue rug for the bedroom floor. T shall never forget the day when Con- stance arrived in town. I took her right up to our new home. She gasped as her eyes fell on the living room furniture. “‘Good heavens!” she exclaimed. ‘“What colors! Why can't we have these things recovered at once? Then, when she saw that the upholstery was entirely new, she ssnk down and cried. That was, perhaps, the bitterest mo- ment of my life, ‘When she became calmer I led her Into our room, but at sight of the hand- carved bedstead she stopped aghast. “Black ‘walnut"' she exclalmed. thought It was mahogany.” This me. some!” I retorted. “It cost father o Ppretty penny.” “Well, I wished he'd kept it!" she burst forth, “My dear Robert, you've ruined the place! How could youl” Something snapped in my head and I saw crimson—crimson as deep s the color of the living room sofa. “Bocause,” I said, ‘ns my money pays she flashed back. “I suppose since you have selected the furniture it, I shall have to sit In it and ‘We have never since then that quarrel. But although this is case, I know that home has never seemed like home to either of us, because of that day when my wife's harsh judgment and lack of taste crushed my hopes and plans of pleasing her, » i€ ) e e,