Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, April 4, 1910, Page 4

DAy BE!._ ARD ROSEWATE THE - OM/ FOUNDED BY VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR Entered at Omaha postoffice as segond- matter. TERMS OF ly Bes (Including UBSCRIPTION ), per week. 15c " Der_ week 10 y), of o ly Bee and Sunday, one year 6.00 | DELIVERED BY CARRIER Evening Bee (without Sunday), per week fo Evening Bee (with Sunday), per week.. loc Sunday Bee, one year U] Baturday Bee, one year . 5 Address all complaints of {rregularities in deliver to City Ciroulation Departent. OFFICES. Omaha—The Bee Bullding. E South Omaha—Twenty-fourth and N Counefl Bluffa—15 Scott Street 618 Little Building. )—1548 Marquette Bublding York—Rooms 1101-1102 No. y-third Street ington—1% Fourteenth Btreet, N CORRESPONDENC Communieations relating to ne; and editorial me ghould be addressed Omaha Bee, srial Department D Dail U West w Remit by draft, express or postal order payvable to The Bee Publishing Company. Only 2-cent stamps reccived In payment of mail accounts. Personal checks, except on Omaha or eastern exchange, not accepted STATEMENT OF CIRCULATIO! State of Nebraska, Douglas County, #s.: | George B. Tzchuck, treasurer of The | Bee Publishing Company, being duly’| sworn, says that the mctual number of [ full and complete coples of The Dally, | Morning, Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the month of March, 1910, was as follows: ‘. . 16. . 42,670 . 43,110 . 48,090 . 43,000 | . 41,800 GEO. B. TZSCHUCK, Treasurer. resence and sworn 18t a.&' of March, M. P. WALKER, Notary Publie. Subscribed in my to before me this 1910. . Subscribers leaving the city teme porarily should Rhave The Bee mafled to them. Addvess will be changed as oftem as requested. It has been a lively season for Egyptian mummies. King Menellk gave the cat a good run for those nine lives anyway. A Pittsburg scientist says we will all soon be llving in gl houses. Stone proof? e The consensus of opinion seems to be that Omaha Is not quité yet ready to hire a beauty doctor, For a starter Omaha's Athletic meet quite exceéded expectations and fully warrants trpfay again, ' A man who has automobiles to burn ranks just a few notches ahead of the man with only money to burn, — Mr. Bryan hastens to announce that he approves the readjustment of the Canadian tarifft. ‘What if he did not? —————ee. James U, HIll says the lack of termi. nal facilities is the cause of the trafiic congestion. Build - more terminals then, B — A Connecticut mam recently drowned himself in an osdinary wash basin. Yet people insist that modern bath tubs afe necessdr Denmark's king saye he considers the United States a model nation. ‘Wonder if he is good a judge of nations as of pole findérs. — “Long live truth,” .shouted the Egyptians when OColonel Roosevelt had finished speéaking. Well, that's better hort and ugly” word. —— In the ln;—ol:_r the Omaha firemen beat the Omaha policemen. Better «'vo the stars tu the firemen and put olicemeén on the hose wagon. — And now the festive oyster is black- listed as the most likely vehicle for typhold germs. The oyster does not live in Missouri river waters, either, Care should be taken In preparing those “‘uplift bills" in congress for the farmer not to apply any to hogs. Hogs are doing talesadly well'by themselve: [t Ay Our amialje. dewocratic contem. porary is juu& W Véry busy manufac- turing candidates to fill places on the rnpuhllun,:‘(l ot. Q barmless pas- time. 3 President Lewls of the coal miners says there will b4 no bad icoal strike. 1t he would jut ré¥iee downward that by eliminating the word bad it would be much better. — Only fifteen enlistments for the navy at the Omaha recruiting station last month. } Able-bodled meh wiling to work evidently do not have to go away for a chince to get busy. When a northern gallant challenged & southern woman to a duel the latter' husband had the northerner arrested. The agg of chivalty is being crowded away back by this new south. Dr. Wiley has displayed some cour- in attempting to readjust house- hold economics, but he has not yet screwed up his nerve to the point of tackling the servant problem, Had ‘Mr. “simply looked at X118 difterent. The Same Old Roosevelt. “He 18 the same old Bryan,” ex- claimed the people of the United States after the Peerless Leader had landed in New York and made his government control speech after his tour of the world. ‘‘He 18 velt,” observed the people, or they must have observed it, when they read | the first speech dellvered by the former president on emerging from the Afri can jungles. But the spirit behind the expression In the case of Bryan it was the spirit of disappointment, in the case of Roosevelt: it 18 the spirit of satisfaction. The people of the United States, who learned to admire Theodore Roosevelt, do not want him to change. Regardless of politics and parties, they like him as he Is. They like the virile, vigorous, daring man- bhood that he exemplifies. They like his bold contempt for obsolete prece- | dent. And that is why, when they read hat spéech he made in Cairo that up- |set half of Egypt and England, they cheered “the same old Roosevelt.” They were glad enough to know that taming llong was not a difpiriting or enerviting pastime. They were not apecially interested In the issues of Egyptian politics, into which Mr. Roosevelt plunged with such telling effect, but they were Interested in knowing that the dominant spirit of Roosevelt had lost none of its power. Few men {n the high position Theo- dore Roosevelt occuples would have [thought of making such a speech as he made at the University of Cairo Yet when did Roosevelt pause for tra- dition? That has been the one dis- tinguishing element of his character— his utter disregard for mere custom. Once in a while the world needs to be ruthlessly disturbed, and precedent can very often be sacrificed for orig! nality. Roosevelt is always doing the unexpected, but after he has acted and the world has had time to recover from the shock and give to his deed the sameé thought that he manifestly gave to it beforehand, it has com- manded universal admiration, if not unqualified approval. Just Like a Trust, A letter which “‘Brother Charley” is sending out to the country newspapers in behalf of Mr. Bryan's Commoner matters of business, the great light of democracy is not very different from the avaridious trusts which he so con- stantly denounces. It seems that Mr. Bryan's gems of speech from his sopho- morlc days at college to his third time defeat for the presidency have been collected into a two-volume reprint to be used a8 a clubbing premium with his paper, and ‘‘Brother Charley"” thinks it i8 such a good thing that he ‘wants to share it with other newspaper ublishiers. The proposition he offérs 1s as follows: By purchasing the book in large quanti- able to offer them to you at £. 0. b. Lincoin, or $1.16 pér 'def eliver the books by mall diredt to your subseribers. The above prices cover the books in cloth binding. When vour readers desire the books in half binding the price will be $1 additienkl you advertise your paper together with the:| books for $2.25 and wish us to send them by mail direct you would receive $1.10 for your paper and still have left §1.15 to pay for the books deliyered. You might alio Advertise the books alone at §2 per set, the regular subscription price. This is the low- est figure at which they can be advertised under any elréumatance Now, some of Mr, Bryan's speeches are good speeches, and the new edition in two small volumes appears to be good books, as book making goes, but a clear profit of 100 per cent looks mighty mueh like monopoly profit— even in these days of high cost of liv. ing. Still, that is not the main feature that while these books are to be offered to the publle at $2.25, they carry with them a distinct stipulation that there are not to be advertised under any circumstances for less than $2 per set. That is exactly, as we un- derstand it, the odius device which has been charged up against the so- called book trust, there being a gen- tlemen' greement among the pub- lishers to set & minimum selling price of $1.08 against any $1.50 book, be- low which the retail dealer is not al- or out of date his stock may become, under penalty of being blacklisted by all the publishers from receiving fur- ther supplies of books. What would | happen {f some one should get hold of | & consignment of Mr. Bryan's speeches, and being content with G0 per cent profit offer them for $1.50, we have no tion is that Mr. Bryan would act just like a trust and trim down all future orders. N. B. We charge Mr. Bryan noth- Ing for this free ad Uncle Sam's Cook Book. | There may be some connection be- tween the assertion made by a “‘young” woman instructor in one of our great universities that “the husbands ought to be taught to cook™ and the more re- cent statement by a domestic sclentist in the employ of the Deépartment of Agriculture—also a woman—that “‘the to cook economically.” Yet it must be remembered that no mere man, de- pendent on' woman's cookery, has ever had nerve enough for the iusinuation. At any rate, it remained for three spe- clalists in domestic selence employed sclentific cook book, entitled,, omic Uses of Meat In the Home,” to be circulated under the signature and seal the orders for {fon and steel he might bave saved himsel' 'hat long journey to find out that the west is the most + pro#perous ph#f of (hé United States. ¥ R e L \ of Uncle 8am himself. It is & very bold act on the part of Uncle Sam to dare to be sponsor for a cook book. He is & man and “men the same old Roose- | |dustries and the creation of traffic, | principle into operation, and eastern | [the west. would indicate that, when it comes to| to be noted, but rather the stipulation |’ lowed to g0 no matter how shelf-worn | means of knowing, but thé presump-' average woman does not know how | are not supposed to know how to do anything around the house, unless it is hard to do."” When in spite of all that Uncle Sam stands for a cook bobk, the | chances are that his advice will be fol |lowed only by a few male cooks in the mountain mining camps, and, though |the idea I8 all right and the principle | | of economy ought to be taught, it will be treading on shaky ground, | A cook book for the benefit of the housewife in practicing economy is a | blessing to the country—someone has ald who lives a long distance away | trom here. Uncle Sam's experts say 80, too, but then they are protected by the army and navy. They advocate | the use of the brisket, the chuck ribs, neck and other cheaper cuts as being | “Just as good” as the more'expenulve and of just as high flavor. The only trouble Is to get®people with porter- house appetites to believe it. | West Teaching the East. Western railroads have succeeded in teaching some of the larger eastern |lines the valuable lesson that co-opera- | tion of transportation and agriculture is essential to the development of in- At| least two eastern roads have put the| papers do not attempt to conceal the fact that the idea is borrowed from The east, probably more than the west, needed to learn this lesson, be- cause conditions there are such that encouragement of agriculture is neces- sary. Nor is it a work of charity which the rallroads are seeking to render‘ the farmer, but rather a matter of mutual benefit. Where the soil has been cultivated so long that it needs reviving farmers have to be taught new methods for bringing their soil up to a higher state of cultivation. East- ern farmers need to know what the| western farmer is being taught, that sclence applied to farming will increase the farm’s output and conserve the ele- ments of the Jand for greater harvests in the future. All this is of value to the farmer, because it means larger income and better soil. But it is equally valuable to the railroad, which must depend upon the farm for a large share of its volume of business. The eastern railroads have been slow in heeding this lesson. While the west was carrylng on this systematic cam- paign of intensive farming, developing new country, drawing in new settlers, bullding towns along new lines of track and creating new sources of wealth, the east sat back and refused to see that its land was becoming less productive each year, its farmers poorer and more anxious for the op- portunity to leave their impoverished land for newer homes in the west. All this time the progressive spirit of the west was steadily moving ‘onward, under the impetus of such men as James J. Hill and Edward H. Harri- betweeh the farmer and the railroader, ‘and the mutual benefits derived and yet to be derived cannot be measured: The thing after all that has brought the: railroads: of the east, like those of the west, to the farmer is not the mere altrulstlc instinet of helping the farmer, but the realization that they have a common territory to develop and a common interest to foster, The rallroads have decided to apply to the mastery of the soll and the upbuilding of ite resources that same energy and intelligence that they applied to the reduction of thelr costs of transporta- tion. But creating new sources of reve- nue, In other words, making new busi- ness, 18 a better work and a far more enduring one, than cutting down ex- penses or raising rates. The one is expansion, the other contraction. Postal Revenues Increasing. The report of the auditor for the Postoffice department, showing sub- stantlal Increases in postal revenues, {8 of partioular Interest and signifi- cance just now, because of the gener #peculation over the postal deficit. The growth is keeping pace at present with customs and internal revenues, despite the fact that the latter in the last year have made heavy Increases. For the months of October, Novem- ber and December of 1909 the receipts of the Postoffice department exceeded those of the same months in 1908 by nearly $3,600,000. The volume of business done for that quarter was, moreover, the largest in the history of the department, and the postal de- floit for the first halt of4he flscal year 1910, ending June 80, this report shows to be $6,000,000 less than the deficit for the corresponding period last year. There is no doubt that the present classifications of postal rate schedules could be improved by some revision, and probably will be, but the fact re- | mains that the situation cannot be as bad as some have tried to meake out. 1t these figres presented by the audi- tor for the Postoffice department mean anything they mean that the system now in vogue 18 not all wrong, but |on the contrary must have the inher- | ent power to correct many of the abuses responsible for the recurring deficits. They suggest, too, the en- couraging probability that it is going to reqdire comparatively little chai to bring the depr ment up to its maximum degree ficlency. Post-| aster Hitchcock was prompt to| 1l to the attention of congress the fmperative need for a rearrangement of postal schedules, evidently means to make the best of the present system i pongress does not act, at the same time watching with vigilance the work- ing of the postal machinery, so that @ may be able to detect every weak- [:o- and point out the weak spots i man, toward the goal of co-operation N auditor shows the postoffice revenue| APRII when the hauling. time comes for the In commemoration of the completion of twenty years continuously in the harness as editor of the Des Moines Capital, Colonel Lafe Young has issued an anniversary number which is a most creditable example of journalistic en terprise. The birthday edition very properly illustrates the appreciation and esteem in which the Capital and its editor are held by their contempo raries, and also sings a paean to the glory of Iowa and the beautiful city which is its seat of government. Here are best wishes for many years of health, happiness and prosperity for | the Capital and its editor. Premier Asquith calls the House of Lords a travesty and a caricature and Mr. Balfour come# back at him by de. picting the attitude of the leader of the Commons as grotesque. But, really, when It comes right down to hot air and cross-talk our own con- gress carries off the palm every time. A New York theatrical paper com. plains that the millionaires are rob- bing the stage of its most beautiful and accomplished actresses. Please do not worry, for the stage will soon have them back again via the divorce court after having furnished plots for a few more soclal extravaganzas. The editor of Mr. Bryan's Commoner refers to the new editor of the Rich- mond (Va.) Times-Dispatch as “a re- cent importation from Charleston, 8. C.” What a chance to retaliate by referring to the editor of the Lincoln (Neb.) Commoner as “‘a recent impor- tation from Omaha. Why should the city councit and the health commissioner be at logzerhends;knuvm Iittie of the spirit of El-Azhar when as to whether the latter has authority in emergencies to put new names on the payroll? An emergency always exists when a democratic war horse wants to connect with the pie counter. The reason has just been unearthed why the Fourteenth Massachusetts dis- trict went democratic, - The rise in the price of beans reduced the consump- tion to the point wheére the rank and file were unable to think clearly for want of nourishment. “High wages to meet higher prices,” as announced by a New England rail- road on raising wages, loses some of its epigrammatical polse when con- sidered in connection with the fact that passenger transportation rates followed in the wake. —— That Chicago woman who sued two of her husbands for divorce at one and the same time has at least re- freshed the public mind upon the fact that the word polyandty is still in the dictionary! By mak one speech in Cairo Mr. Roosevelt, shogk not only all Egypt, but halgefs Burope, and that, too, against Mt' Btna on the shores of Boston Transcript. A Nebraska judge deoides that a woman may be governor. Nebraska has long needed a governes Curiosity Unsatisfied. ‘Washington Herald. It would be interesting to know whether Mr. Pinchot's returh trip coupon reads: “Good for one passage from Elba to Wash- ington.” ' : A Falinfal Ally. : 8t. Louls Republio. ‘While Colonel Roosevelt is rendering his homage At the shrines of past greatneds in Burope we hope he won't forget a grateful pligrimage to the birthplace of Herr Guten- berg, the inventor of the art of printing. ) Just for Varlety. k Philadelphia Record. It Colonel Roosevelt finds Calro too dull he might g0 to Dublin and make some re- marks deprecatory of home rule. In all probabllity the results would be sufficlently in teresting to him. Up the Mossbacks. New York Herald. A Massachusetts rallroad s running a “better farming special” to glve free in- struction In improved agricultural methods but apparently no missionary work of the kind is needed in the matter of raising $11 hogs and other specified farm products, Perhaps at the next convention of the Lay- men's Missionary conference, whioh is to be held here s0on, more consideration will be given to the need for missionary work in th United States than was accorded to this feature of the “‘evangellzation of the world" movement at the first convention. At any rate, more attention should be given to this portion of the great subjeot. ENFORCING FURE FOOD LAW. A Remarkable Showing of Federal Activity. Philadelphia Bulletin. In less than three years the government has brought 202 suits against persons or firms charged with violating the pure foods and drugs act. It is declared that out of this entire number, the prosecution has been defeated in only three Instances. If that statement is based upon the truth, | the showing s & remarkable one. It seems to Indicate that the authorities having juris- diction over the matter have ordinarily taken pains to secure proof of wilful mis- corduct before they Instituted procesdings a method that is & hundredfold better than sensational or hasty prosecution Inspired by mere suspicion or vague &l Wisely administered, the pur is capable of performing & publie service of enormous importance, both In preventing thy o of harmful Ingredients and In bar- ring attempts to defraud purchasers by the use of materials which, though harmless in themselves, yet Intended to deceive the man who asks and pays for something else. Whatever tends toward the malntenance of the public health is of prime importance, Falr dealing is the foundation of siable civilized soclety. If the law to make labels "Tell the facts about the packages on which they are placed is helping to produce these results, It i werth all ita enforcement pobey | over- | 4, 1910. | Spirit of El-Azhar Peouliaritios of the Egyptian University Where Roosevelt Recently Deliversd &n Address. | Louisville Courier-Journal. | Colonel Roosevelt's hotel having been al- | most mobbea by students from the Uni- versity of El-Azhar, he stoutly maintains his position as a discourser upon Egyptian politics and points to the fact that & dele- gation of Copts called to express apprecia tion of his remarks. Quite naturally the Copts were pleased when the distinguished visitor from America hammered the Mos- lems. But who are the Copts? The Copts are called the lineal descend. ants of the anclent gyptians who made | mummies, pyramids and history. Quite while ago they played poor politics by betraying thelr country to the Saracens ‘llld getting the Greeks and Romans ousted | tromr Egypt. But that was not yesterday They lost the privileges for which they had righteously contended, declined in political importance and numerical strength, lost thelr language, and became a protesting nfinority with but little left to comfort them save raclal Integrity There were more than 30,00 Copts before the Arab in- asion. There are not more than 160,000 at present, and they are more negligible as a politieal factor than their number might in- | dicate. They are a pecullar people, and no peculiar people counts for much in pol- itics. Poverty is their portion, and a fail- ure to appreciate the value of soap and water In conjunction is thelr mark of raclal distinction. Being indorsed by the Copts | means about as much in Cairo as would being applauded by the Pamunky Indians for utterances in Virginia. Colonel Roosevelt seems to have made speeches without looking Into the subject. Manifestly it isn’t right for an Arab patriot to become an assassin and murder a fel- low countryman because that fellpw coun- tryman 18 not a “flannel-mouthed” anti- Britishi agitator, But It is not the function of a guest to become a partisan In a fam- lly tight. Colonel Roosevelt must have he rushed in precipitately to disturb its atmosphers and traditions with & ripping speech upon the beneficence of British rule and the folly of fanatical patriotism that expresses itself in violence. Ei-Azhar is a center of Moslem learning —and of Moslem politics—more than 1,00 year old. It draws its students from the sandy wastes of Morocco, from Mohamme- dan Asia, from our own Bulu archipelago where the Moros worship the prophet, and cordially hate the Christian, El-Ashar is & rusty, musty, moribund institution, and It takes itself much more serfously than It should. It is, nevertheless, & seat of mili- tant Mohammedanism where dresmers dream of an expansion of Islam that never will take place, El-Azhar is about eight centuries behind the times. It was once a great center of Arablc culture, and from the Arabs Eu- rope recelved much of the groundwork of its present day enlightenment. Today its curriculum consists chiefly of the Koran, and only a year ago riots resulted when the British attempted to Introduce 80 revolutionary a course of study as mathematics. The 10,00 students desired, ,| to paradise to collect his allotted number ' cess,” to a jhan, to be holy men and prest In mosques. They wanted none of plain and solid geometry, or plain and fancy arithmetic. What did it matter whether the sqitare of the hypotenuse of a right angled triangle equaled the sum of the squares of the other two sides, or whether two and two made four, I time were to be wasted ascertaining such trifling truths when It might be more profitably put in repeating texts from the Koran and call- | ing Christians dogs? Possbily Lord Cromer was jesting when he sald that the grand mufti of El-Ashar admitted to him that he didn't know whether the earth moved around the sun or the sun moved around the earth, but that the subject was too unimportant to| enlist the attention of serious-minded men, If he was he probably adorned a tale with | fiotional detall to draw attention to the truth about the Mohammedanism of the | presbnt day, as revealed at its great uni- versity, With the British civil Copts, the guests at Shepl and the loungers and rounders at the Sphinx cate, Colonel Roosevelt seems to have made a hit. But the uproar in Arabie in the vi- clnity of his caravansary was the loglcal result of his speech to the students who slake thelr thirst for knowledge in the Koran; who slake their thirst for coffee at La Grande cafe, Egyptien, and their thirst for patriotic political utterances in the columns of Al Lewa, the tri-lingual Moslem organ of the nationalists which Moustafa Kamel Pasha left & legacy to his party when he followed the prophet servants, the ot hourls as his reward for having been militant for the faith. —_—— CUT IT OUT. Petty Form of Graft in Congressional Mileage. ’ Indianapolis Newes. The effort of Representative Cox to have the congressional mileage reduced from 2 cents to G cents deserves a good deal more favorable consideration than it will probably get. -The mileage that liberal- handed congressmen allow t6 themselves has long been & joke, though a rather expensive one for the people. It Is, in fact, nothing more than a form of graft, which the grafters unfortunately have the power to legalize. Publio attention was directed sharply to thi¥ faot a few years ago when, by a “constructive re- the members of congress allowed themselves mileage for & trip to their homes and return to Washington when there was not enough time between the adjournment of one session and the open- ing of another for them to leave the city. One would think that when the yrecently allowed themselves a 50 per cent advance in their salaries they might have been modest enough to forego the mileage graft. That 1s, one would think 80 if one were onal customs. But ' was too easy, and the mem- bers hung on to the full amount of it Americans are not a cheese-paring people, but they are beginning to object very em- phatically to the unnecessary expenditure of their money by thelr elected representa- tives. The way to economize Is to econ- omize, and no better opportunity for be- ginning this desirable policy has yet been suggested than by cutting off the mileage graft. A start of this kind sheuld help bring about an atmosphere, & habit of economy that ls sorely needed. A reduc- tion from %0 cents a mile to b cents a mile will not cause any hardships to the con- gressmen. The S-cent rate will be ample to pay all a congressman's traveling ex- penses. Of course, the old scandal of con- gressmen traveling on rallroad passes, and then drawing the » hos been ended NE JAMAICA GINGER PENANG CLOVES There Are "T'wor Kinds of Spices-=« | and “Others’ nly the finest quality of tested sploes can! the name of Tone Bros, Sealed as soon a8 tight packages to retain their full favor and ground’ PERSONAL NOTES. Owing to the uncertain mutations of the aliment, the Kansas City Hydes have negotiated a loan of $60,000 to defray the prospective expenses of legal treatment. A recent remark by Governor Harmon of Onhlo Is worth passing along as con- taining much philosophy of universal ap- plication: ext to the grace of God, the abllity of & man to see a joke on him- welf is the beginning of wisdom.” John Allen, the most heavily Insured locomotive engineer in the country. killed and several persons were scriously injured in & wreck on the Chicago & Northwestern at Flagg, 11l Allen car- ried $40,000 insurance in favor of his wife ond two children. One really remarkable aged woman Is Miss Ellen Day It s just seventy-four years since she, one of England's oldest organiste, the pupil of Baife and the friend of Mendelssohn, Lisst and Chopin, made her first appearance in public as an $-year-old prodigy at the Drury Lane theater. A chlldhood romance, which bezan thirty-five years ago culminated In the marriage tn New York of Colonel William Fatton, formerly chiet of commissary of the United States army, and Mrs, Adelalde Victorla Tilt, widow of Albert Tilt, a wealthy silk manufacturer, who dide seven years ago. After a lapse of almost elghteen months and fruitiess Inquirles in Ireland, Scotlahd and the north of England a final effort ls being made to discover the helrs of a tormer County Armagh man named Pat- rick MecGurk. Over fifty vears ago he emigrated to California and died intestate two years since, leeving a fortune of $300,000. Governor James H. Brady of Idaho has appealed to his peofle by acting as fire- man on an engine, when the need arosc. He was booked for an engagement at Bonners Ferry, but his passage was blocktd by a frelght wreck. He saw a light engine standing on the track beyond the blockade, and appenied to the engineer to carry him rward. “No chance’ was the reply. My fireman's gone awa; a I can't fire the engine and rum it too.” At that the governor pulled off hls coat, grebbed the coal shovel, told the engineer to go ahead. and stoked the rest of the way to his destination which he reached on time. Qur Birthday Book April 4, 1810, J. Frank Hanley, former governor of Indlana and now doing @& lecture circult tor the Anti-Satoon league, was born April 4, 183, at St. Joseph, Ill. He is a lawyer by profession and has lectured two or three times at our Bellevue chautauqua. Frank J. Sutcliffe, shorthand reporter in The Bee bullding, is 4. He was born in New Brulnswick and was efucated in Mon- treal, and has served as district court re- porter several timés. Louts R. Mets of the Metz Brothers Brew- ing company, was born April 4 1878 right here in Omaha. He Is one of our' eligible bachelors who has not yet been trapped. Paul L. Martin, secretary of the law faculty of Creighton college, ia 2. He was born on a farm near Vall, Ia., and sradu- ated at Creighton university, taking a law degres at Harvard. || 1t Caesar ever could has 0" course,” observed Uncle Jerry Peebl “it costa a heap to live now'days, but notice ‘that the loudest howlin' ut it comes from the fellers that's livin' better now than they ever did before.”—Chicago Tribune. love dancing. What s Boniface? dear lady.~Bos- Miss Bright—I your favorite dance, Mr. Honiface—The menu: ton Transcript. “Why does an editor refer to himself as ‘we?' " So that the fellow who gets sore at an editorial will imagine that there's a whole bunch to lick."—~Cleveland Leader. “It seems cruel to siaughter all these pige for market,” sald the \‘h!cl‘o ik, ] don't know that it's ecruel,” replied Miss Cayenne. “But when you think of wrat the packers charge for the meat, it does seem a little unfraternal.”—Washing- ton Star. “Why-er-yes," Miss Goodley admitted, “perhaps you did hear me telling the minis: ter 1 was only 22 3 ‘Oh! I'm surprised!” exclaimed Miss Gaddle; “and you a Sabbath school teacher, too."" “But,” Miss Goodley protested, “the minister himself has told us t's always better to understate a thing than to exag- gerate."—Cathollc Standard and Times, Sir Walter Ralelgh was just coming away from the cleaner's, wheré he had left his muday cloak, “And to think,” he muttered, “that no sooner had she walked on it than I noticed sho had her arctics on Whereupon he in solace.~Judge. ted smoking as & “How I have to stick to things! groaned the mucllage. I'm write in 1t,” philosophically remarkea the pen. | "*Ihave to hold down everything golng," | eomplained the paperwelght. | “And I have to go at such a clip,” said the shears. The pad calendar logked around cheer- ully. “T am better off than any of you, he cried. “I am always taking a day off, | ~Baltimore” American. | “Does that ‘ere thin, stoop-shouldered, | dyepeptic-lookin’ drummer that you bought ®0 much from today sell. any better or | cheaper goods than the fat one ye turned own 80 hard yesterday?"’ Inqui “D' know as he does,” conf Squam Corners merchant, “but his views on_the criminal rap: elz;uof the trusts are | @ whole lot sounder. ck. 1 | TEDDY AND WILLIAM, S. B, Kiser in the Reoord-Herald! When Teddy goes to Willlam's house and hangs his hat up thero 'Twill be a memorable day—a day “deyond compare''— had Napoleon for his guest The world would have sat up Indeed and shown some Interest. But no more than it will display when | Teddy strikes Berlin, And, ringing Willam's door bell, hears that | monarch say, “Come in." When Teddy goes to Willlam's house and they it down alone To talk things over, what a pair will then and there be shown! We may be eure that they will not, when they have gnt together | Be satistied to talk about their watohes and the weather. Ah, what & fortuns might be his, who might eontrive to get A falthful moving picture of the two when they have met! When Teddy 5”' to Willlam's house they will not sit and yawn And twirl their thumbs and wish that there was something golng on. There will not be & moment when the in. terest will cease. For h may be depended on to platnly lr&k his plece. They'll take up every subject and they'il do it to a turn, And all the rulers may expect thefr prece | fou 0 burn. N Wk " “The World’s Best Tathe . W ater™ The Reason:— We are not. us, Let us illustrate: gas as possible, you might have trouble in fi where; the service costs you feel friendly toward us and feel that you are well taken That is the whole story. works, by the anti-pas the scandal of their drawing four or five times more than their actual expenditure still prevalls. It should be ended and ended promptly, Omaha Gas Qompaw; : The correction made, you use the to be, and WE have gained your good “Gas Service” Don'’t think that because part of our service is free we are going to give you ‘‘something for nothing,’’ Tt is simply good business. We want your good will. It is a valuable asset to It is ‘‘something for something.'’ ’ You may have a light that is unsatisfactory, you use it very little, you feel slightly annoyed and use as littlé The trouble may be due to some very slight irregu. larity which our expert would correct in no time, though the cause. You pay for new parts just what you would pay else- nothing, light again, you use Gas more , you care of, 4 you by s right Try us and see how the plan ,