Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, April 1, 1910, Page 6

e 'OMAlA *DAILY m ——— e —— DED BY PDWARD ROSEWATER. 1(1'0‘ ROSIWAm IDI'I'OR. ! Sutersd at Omaha postoffice as second- o matter, TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Dailly Bee (Inaluding Sunday), per '.-I 18e Dalily l-‘ per {without Sunday) put Bunday’ Bee ohe year. D-~‘|; Bee an: ,_One YeAr.. (L] DELEVERED BY CARRIER. ln. Bes -| mb;nun e week. o Su un e 6 ‘} Baturday one yen TR Address all e.uign ts of |mm.fiu- n uu‘vm 'w City Ciroulation Department. OFTICII !nlh o-nn-'l'm\y-fo-nn and N. uttets Soott, Street. tele B Uarquette Buiiaing ow Yo _m‘.'.‘l 101-1102 No. 3 West Thirty.-thi vet Waahingron 7 Fourteenth traet N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Comfnunieations relating to news and editorial matter should be addressed: Omaha Pes, Eaitorial Department. REMITTANCES pavasie cant stamps recefved in payment of {oall woooanta. Forsonal checks, except on by draft, express or postal erder to Tue Bee Publishing Company. Omaha of eastern exchange. not accepted. STATEMENT OF CTRCULATION, of nday bnurv. 1910, QEORAE B, TZBCHUL‘K. s.!.‘.’r’.“.’.‘."?flu"u"fl x:"m...w ik il Subsoribers leaviang the city teme poririly shesld have The Bee matlea them. Address will be changed as aften as requosted. Taken all in all, March 1910 goes out with a good character. 1f you see a hat on the sidewalk the v to find out whether it hides a Lyiek 18 to kick it. Over 200,000 peope went to Atlantic City to spend Easter. Oh, what 8 millinery display was there! No need to hunt for lawyers willing to go on the supreme bench without even inquiring as to the pay. ——— A New York ;I’QIB er re;:enlly said, “Hell s right here.’" That evidently puts Téxas down to second place, e e A pecullar thln[ about the discovery that some buildings are firetraps is that, the authorities too often ‘discover it after the fire. Omaha is booked to be a station on the transcontinental aeroplane high- way. Pleased to have travelers drop in on us at any time. If Omaha has a new policeman who can speak seven tongues it goes with- out saying that he can swear in seven different languages. Do not worry if you find salt in your coffee and mustard on your ba- con today. It is just All Fools' day, with chances that you are [it.” The Egyptians may not be sure whether Mr. Roosevelt pleased them or displeased them, but it is a safe guess that he had a “bully tjme.” Congressman Hobson's proposed au- tomobile roads are to have a width of 1,430 feet—presumably to give the Innogent pedestrian a chance to dodge. —_— That New York watchman who looted a home he was employed to guard missed his vocation. He should havé run for the leglslature at Albany. 1t Pnsment Tatt should look this ‘way for material for the supreme court judgeship he would not find any of our lawyers dodging the judiclal light- ning, Savings banks in the world hold on deposit $15,000,000,000 in money and the United States has 40 per cent of it. Postal savings banks will make our percentage still larger, While damage by prairie fire is al- ways to be deplored the suggestion that Nebraska has had a $1,000,000 pnfrle fire reads altogether too much like an exaggeration of prosperity, ———— g in fllnmlwl will in all probability be staged in the near future. They are so dramatic and re- plete with climaxes to make all sorts of spectacular effects possible. Kyom the fact that 3,000,000,000 packages of chewing gum were sold in the United States last year one might think that from being a habit gum chewing has become an industry. It it be true that music will make heéps lay more and larger s, the will next be transplanted to the chicken coop. Care should be taken, however, in selecting the themes, for comic opera might addle the eggs. neglected to suggest a better location for the capital than Lin- coln he disclosed what a clever head he had: for cajoling the susceptible.—Lincoln Ll lh«w “Jim" 18 evidently proceeding 3 the theory that any other lotation 'be better than Lincoln. Pnil— of the Mn The plattorm prodlem is not Inotdental to primaries or to conventions, but to'the offort to fit the infinite variety of voter of two moulds. The problem will atforms will be repudiated or ear- ried out In bad faith, just so long as they are foroed to carry a load not adapted to the functions of parties and platforms. Whether under direct primary or conven- tion system The Bea knows that though every party platform In the state espoused county eption the Douglas county legisla- tors would 6ppose It. The obvious way to solve the platform problem s to free par- ties from the necessity of dealing with special non-party issues, such an issus as is now shattering party lines here. The Bee would do the state good service by bending lteelf to the obvious solution of the problem.—Lincoln Journal. In this the Journal seems disposed for once to look at the problem of the platform more from a practical stand- point rather than the standpoint of pure theory. The platform s supposed to outline the position of the party on the political issues of the day, and where the party is substantially agreed as to policy no serious difficulty pre- sents. But where there are issues raised that are essentially nonpolitical, or on which the people do not divide on party lines, writing the demands of one side or the other into the platform operates to disrupt rather than to unite. There is also a further question con- stantly propounded as to how far the party platform oconcludes the candi- dates running for office under the party name. Does a national platform, for example, obligate a atate officer, or a state legislature, to a Péculiar line of action, or should the national plat- form confine itself ‘to subjects of na- tional policy? In the same manner, the question may be asked, “‘Can the state platform prescribe the attitude of a member of the legisiature with ref- erence to matters of local moment? What the Journal says about the next Douglas county delegation is doubtless true, that irrespective of its political complexion it will be opposed to county option. But its position will reflect the sentiment of the people of this leg- islative district whom this delegation is expected to represent. We agreé with the Journal, there- fore, that “the ohvigus way to solve the platform problem 1is to free parties from dealing with special nonparty issues,’” and that the question of licens- ing or probibition of the sale of liquor 18, in fact, a local i§#ie that should be tought out locally and should have no place in a state piatform except of the prohibition party. Last year when three judges of the supreme court and three university re- gents were to be elected, both demo- crats and republicans passed the liquor question by, believing that it did not belong in that campaign, and the re- publicans won out on a straight party lineup in spite of the pretense of non- partisanship with whichl the democrats tried to fool republicaf voters. On a straight party issue the republicans will win again in N ka this year, but if they get tfed up with prohibi- tlon, or other nonparty lssues, they will have a harder fight ahead and have to depend more on the usual blunders of the democrats. Halley's Comet. According to thé computations of famosu astronomers, 'Halley's comet will be careening around through the heavens, in a tramplike manner, dur- ing April and May of this year, on one of its periodical trips through this sec- tion of space. A great shower of meteors has been promised us, which, it is saud, will jlast for an hour or more, occuring some time during the night of May 19. At that time the comet will be plainly visible, being| distinguished from other heavenly bodies by its remarkable brilliancy and its long tail of meteoric star dust and gas. The spectacle will be one of coneiderable note and will be observkd by thousands. Halley's comet makes a trip around the sun in an elliptical orbit once in every seventy-five or seventy-six years, It is a huge globular body of some- thing, of which we know nothing defl- mite, of great brilllancy and s sald to be many times larger than the earth. The long appendange stands straight out from the sun ‘at all times; it is about 20,000,000 miles long and 600, 000 miles broad at the end. It is the end of this tall thréugh which the earth will pass. The reason given by astronomers for the tall of Halley's comet pointing away from the sun is that the ele- ments composing it are so minute and thin that the pressure of the sunlight forces them to take the outside of the orbit.” The comet travels at a rate of several hundreds of thousands of miles an hour. "It will not come within 15, 000,000 miles of the earth and will probably be seen again by few, if any, members of the present genera- tion. A notable tradition in the history of nations is that to the appearance of comets have been attributed great disasters, ~wars, pestilences and drouths. Some astrologers predicted the flood of Paris over a year ago from some sort of astronomical phepom- enon. Some predict disaster of some sort from this one, although no one has yet sald just what it will be. The rise of great men in times past has been attributed to the appearance of comets at the time of their births. Un fact, Halley's comet has been given credit for having something to do with the greatness of Jullus Caesar, Napo- leon, Frederick the Great and a large number of others: To the credulous all such stories are credible. However, the main thing to be re- | its energy. membered about Halley's comet is that it will be most briliant ‘during the middle of May; that it will:be vis- ible for several nights and that it will THE BEE: be perfeetly harmless, mnsofar as the earth is concerned, Stronger Coaches Needed. A briet review of railroad accidents for the last year indicates that the larger number of deaths and maimings thus caused occur in the coaches and smokers. The reason given for this is that the large, heavy steel sleeping cars, when an accident happens, plow through the lighter day coaches, which are largely made of wood, smashing them into splinters and at the same time crushing the passengers riding there. This has been the case so often that much comment has been heard upon it. The railroad companies have from time to time made improvements in their service and equipment, but there are still too many accidents from weakness and Instability in both track and rolling stock. During recent years most of the new sleeping cars have been constructed of steel. At first only the bed of the car and the framework were of that material, but more lately a number of all steel cars of the sleeper type have been placed in service. These are very heavy and solld and are an ample protection for the passengers they carry. As a result very few sleep- ing car passengers are ever serlously injured in time of wrecks. They es- cape and the all-steel coaches them- selves are rarely demolished, although their weight and solidity fairly crush the lighter cars. Several progressive rallroads are installing steel car equipment for the ordinary passenger, with very sat- isfactory results, and others are to follow as rapidly as the shops can turn the cars out. It iy to be hoped that the example thus set will be fol- lowed by other roads and that before long, for the safety of life and prop- erty, all the coaches sleepers, day coaches, smokers, gage or postal, substantial type. bag- will be of this more While the country in general has been shocked at the extent of the cor- ruption exposed in municipal affairs in Pittsburg, yet the most serious aspect of it seems to have been the last to develop. The part played by the na- tional and savings bank officers bribing councilmen that their banks might profit from the city deposits is decidedly discreditable to a class sup- posed to be above such performances, The question is, how could national banks pay out big chunks of bribe money and hide it from the national bank examiners? That crooked bank clerks can misappropriate the funds of the bank and sometimes escape de- tection by clever manipulation of the books s not so disquieting, but when the heads of the banks themselves are caught using the bank's money as bribes to buy business for private profit, a drastic remedy should be avallable. In this instance not only are the bank officials party to the corruption, but they are prime factors in it, and the banks are.the principal benefic- faries. To uphold the Integrity of the national banking system it would be no more than right that banks con- ducted in such lawless manner should forfeit their charters to make sure against repetition of the offense. Such a punishment would be severe, but it would be an effective deterrent to future malpractice and corruption of the same sort. Kansas City for River Traffio. The reputation which Kansas City | has long had for doing things is rein- forced by the most recent example of Kansas City desires to de- velop a transportation service on the Missouri and in order to assure the project has pledged $1,000,000 in stock subscriptions for a corporation organized to put boats on the river. A given time was set in which to raise the money and the enterprising citi- zens of that town went to work. A few of the most wealthy and public- spirited signed up for $50,000 each to encourage the effort and help bring out the smaller contributions. With thirty days of the allotted time for the undertaking left, $30,000 more than the amount pledged had been subscribed. The example thus set by Kansas City has aroused St. Paul to discuss, seriously, a like campaign for the up- per Mississippl. Interested men in that northern city have investigated the situation, comparing it with the conditions existent in Missouri and have decided that even a smaller ef- fort could produce like great results | for St. Paul, because of better river conditions which obtain. Kansas City has set a pace for other river towns, and if it is to be taken as a prophecy of future effort, to be made in behalf bf the development of river naviga- tion, big things are scheduled soon to take place on our inland waterways. Between the devil and the deep blue sea hardly describes the dilemma In which a man finds himself nowadays when driven to drink. On one side is a clamor for laws that will compel him to drink water, and on the other the testimony of experts that water is seldom fit to drink. And here is the president of the Nebraska conservation congress asserting that he found fifty wells near Lincoln ‘containing the hairs of cats, rabbits and other ani- mals” giving the water a flavor not possessed by even the Missourl river liguid. With all these warning signs what is & thirsty mortal to do? ‘The reason why the Oregon plan of choosing United Stats nators com- mands favor in democratic quarters is that the only time it was ever tried in "OMAHA, used, whether || in | .| on the supreme court bench. FRIDAY, \PRIL 1 practice it led to the election of a dem- ocrat by a republican legislature, If the first experiment in Oreégon had produced a reverse result and sent a| republican to the semate by votes of | democratie lawmakers the Oregon plan would never have been adopted for Nebraska by our late democratic legis lature. ———e According to a physiclan's certifi- cate filed in court one of the parties to a pending divoree suit is affllcted with “neuro psychasthenia,’” whatever that is. It is not specified in the stat- utes as a cause for divorce, but it must have been merely overlooked by the law-makers. Of course every one knew that the announced candidacy of a certain con- gressman-editor for the United States senate was setting our Nebraska prai- ries on fire, but still no one expected the consuming flames to get beyond control and devastate the land. —— A Vermont man has recently been mistaken for Uncle Joe Cannon and the people of his community are in doubt whether to put him out of the church or eleot him to congress. At last accounts they were etill divided on the matter. After huvlng rohulod Mr Roosevelt congress is preparing to take it oack. It will be remembered in this connec- tion that Mr. Roosevelt 1s nearing home and will land in this country in June and will land on it shortly there- after. Broaden Out. New York Post. The trouble Is that so many statesmen are in favor of peace with honor, peace with justice, and peace with reservations, instead of peace with all men. 1 Giving Food Proper Ame. Pittsburg Dispatch. Food kept 8,000 years in an Egyptian tomb 1s declared to be as good as the cold-storage chicken that has spent three years on ice. People who tried to eat the chicken oan easily belleve this, though they might ex- press it differently. They would probably consider it more specific to say that it could not be any worse. 1 . Logic of the Situation. Boston Herald Federal Investigators in the western rail- road demand for higher wages endorse the desired increase as justified by ,a 25 per cent increase In the cost of living in | the iast four vears. The logic of the in- vestigators cannot be questioned. Their decision will be quite as important as & precedent s in its immediate application to the raiiroad problem in hand. P A —— Mont ‘Nat Thing to Do. New York Sun. There is no lscernible impropriety in the Jjourney of the Hon. Oscar S. Straus from Constantinople to Cairo to meet his per- sonal friend and former official chieftain, Colonel Roosévelt. On the contrary, it is natural that Mr, Straus la go. For the statements that the American ambassa- dor was “suminoned” from his post by & private citizéh traveling on private busi- that te ambassador is neglecting his dutfes fof tHé ¥ake of Colonel Roosevelf comventefice” 0¥ ‘pleasure, and that the am- bassador's journey to the Nile at the ex- pense of thée American taxpayers there I8 no responsible -authority wha No sensible person will believe a word of all this. b } A GREAT JUDGE. Fransition of Judge Brewer from Lib- eralist te Imdividualist. Chicago Post. A great judge, yes, but a judge whose lite work falls Into periods which may be clearly distinguished. It s not uniikely P that history, taking his career in a large way, will write him down as the intellectual equal of almost any of the grest jurists But his con- temporaries, who recall his influence upon current events, will naturally think of him In three way As & member of the supreme court ol" Kansas In the 70s, Judge Brewer set a re- markable pace. His opinions placed that court well up In the front? if not at the very front of the state tribunals. This is no mean tribute, for it must not be for- gotten that the state courts of last resort affect social conditions and property rights more closely and at more points than the more august body at Washington. He who writes the chapter of Judge Brewer's life in the court house at Topeka will have a story of no little interest and signifcance. And when he was appointed by President Harrison to the supreme court of the United States in 1589 he carrled remarkable powers and & progressive spirit with him. He was of marked liberality in his views | and had much to say about the necessity of keeping the law abreast of soclal condi- tions. The letter kiileth, the spirit giveth lite, and there was no mistaking the fact that David J. Brewer was for the spirit. But It was not very long before, with other judges who might be named, he took fright at certain populistic manifestations f of the perlod and settled back into what may be called, without stigma, a reaction- ary view. He thought he saw a great wave of paternalism engulfing thé country and his opinions began to reveal very clearly’ the neceesity which he felt himself under, of combafing that snister influence. | From belrig a liberal, he became & some- what extreme Individualist. His mental powers, too, waned somewhat in the last| tew vears, as those who have followed his lopg and somewhat tedious opinions can testity. | But with these discriminations ft fs still | tair, to ca?f Dayid J. Brewer one of the very biggest men who have sat with the supreme court. | Our Birthday Book l | April 1, 1910, | Edwin A. Abbey, the famous American | artist, was born April 1, 182, at Philadel- phia. He is now making his home in Lon don. Rev. A, B. Storms, president of the Towa State Agricultural college at Ames, is just 5. He was born at Lima, Mich., and be- fore taking his present position was pastor of a church in Des Molnes Fred Metz, president of (he Home Real Estate and Investment company, has an April I birthgay, being born here in Omaha in 1863 He was formerly assoclated with his father and brothers in the Mets Bros. rewing company. Cralg, accountant with the lor the Inclination | Trix was gone.” Mipples om the Ourrent of Life @reat Ameriol Mayor Gaynor persiets In knocking mu | nicipal customs and practices with suoh | regularity as to provoke a succession of painful shocks among the beneficiaries. A | weore or more of barnacled practices revered | | in the days of political machines have feit | the axe. Barnacled bureaus have been | sent to political junk piles. Following with | accelerated wpeed are public telephones in stalled in private homes, lopping off a graft of $14,000 a year, The latest to feel the axe is the practice of the police of re. taining in the ‘‘rogues gallery'’ pictures of persons arrested and later discharged. The mayor has ordered the gallery stripped of plotures of persons arrested on suspicion. | He reminds the police that to subject an unconvicted prisoner to the picture process | and 1ist him as & rogue even after the ac- cusation against him has fallen through, 1s @ wrong no les to be abhorred than the “third degres.” The bigness of a fogue's gallery may be & thing to be pointed to with pride by polica chiets, but can it be & feather in any man's eap to have the gulltiess among his trophles? A knock for the “third degree” i next on the list of police reforms. | “It is astontshing,” remarkea a wenl dressed woman in an uptown car, “the trouble these department stores take in order not to lose customers that have an account.” “For {nstance?”’ panion. “Oh, you are in that business, of course, and know all about it, but the other day I orered some trifies for & party and they did not arrive in time, and I com- plained. Next day my mald brought up a #teel engraved card wtih the name of the manager of the store on it. When 1 went down T found such a stylish looking man, faultlessly dressed, and full of wpologies, who assured me it would never ocour again.” “Do you suppose you are the only one he ever called on or that had to be pacified that day even?"’ asked the man. “Why, no; exactly replied the woman, bridling a little at the tmplled loss of im- portance. “I suppose they take the same trouble with others who have large ac- counts. You are in the business. You ought to know." “Then, may 1 ask what time doss the manager have left to manage the store?" pursued the man, still smiling. ““The man who called on you is not the manager of the store at all and I think you will find his card simply says ‘manager.’ He 1§ the manager of customers who have kicks coming.” suggested her male com- To lose his wife by a court decres of separation and yet be held liable for her bills is the experience of W. Gould Brokaw, the millionaire yachtsman, whose wife re- cently won a separation from him. Two New York dressmakers sued Brokaw for $2140 for gowns furnished Mrs. Brokaw from November 16, 1608, to January 31, 190, Brokaw set up a defense that his wife re- celved an allowance from him at that time and that the gowns were a luxury and not w necessity. He asked for an order to dismiss the suit, but Justice Putnam at weoh. L. I, denied his motion and ordered the case put on the calendar. The law In regard to automobilists, ama- teyr or professional, who break the speed Tegulations s explicit, and Distriet At- tornoy Whitman of New York has In- ctructed his assistants, in prosecuting cases under it, to accept no mifior plea in oases of a third offense. The penalty pre- scribed is both fine and imprisonment. To this the special sessions’ justices object, on the ground that it deprives them of needed €lscretion. There is, of course, something in the contention of one of them that a first offense may be & very serious ome, while a third may have mitigating cir- cumstances; but the district attorney takes the position that, while the provision as to first offenders may be too lenfent, that which says third offenders shall go to Jail certainly Is not too severe, and should enforced. ‘The justice is not deprived of discre- tionary power, except to the extont that It he punishes at all it must be by Imprison- wnt,” comments the New York Times. "He , it he chooses, suspend sentence or dis- assuming, naturally, full responsi- bility when he decides to be merciful. Mr. Whitman's stern policy will have, we feel sure, the full krows by dally perils narrowly escaped that chautteurs who lack elther the skill to run their machines properly are numerous in this oity, and that they cannot too soan be taught that pedes- trians have rights, even when they ven- ture off the sidewalk.” “If you've found my dolly please be very good to her and bring her back right off, end tell her youre taking her home!" is the plea of little Miss Mary Flagler, aged daughter of Harry Harkness Flag- and the granddaughter of H. M. Flagler, the Standard Oil magnate. Miss Mary has a brother older and a brother younger, but no sisters. So the dear doll— her first one, and answering to the name of Clarice Beatrice Gladys Katherine Mur- isl Flagler—has been her chum all her life. The dolly Is called “Trix" for short. “I was playing right out in the park in front of the house' she explained tearfully; “playing ‘Rescue’ with the boye. Trix makes the most be-yewtiful captive prin- cess. The Indians had taken her and bound her and then gone out on the warpath for fresh vie—victims. When we came back The campaign of the New York tax re- form association for the abolition of taxes on personal property is proceeding quite promisingly. Secretary A. C. Pleydell of the assoclation writes to the New York Times, saying thet owners of real esiate aggre- ®ating $16,000,000 in value have so expressed themselves in favor of the reform, and some of them pay no taxes on personal property. One of the latter says he is will- ing to pay extra taxes on his $200,000 in- vestment {n real estate in order to abolish the “Infamous, unjust, cruel personal tax.” It will be recalled that a bill abolishing this tax In New York City Is before the New York legislature, introduced at the request of Mayor Gayoor. Shallowneas of Jingolsm. Philadelphia Bulletin On his return from abroad former Vice President Fairbanks utters words of truth and soberness about American relations with Japan. He is entirely right in de- claring that no ground exists for Inter- rupting the peaceful situation, and his ut- terances ought to be pondered by those fearsome jingoes who are doing their worst to provoke trouble with the mikado's gov- ernment by continually predicting it as inevitable. approval of a public that| Cuts Grease | Dirt. It saves works wonders, It not some, safe. the way. All you have by directing its energy; Makers of FAIRY and Dissolves your strength. The labor question is solved when you “Let the Gold Dust Twins do your work.” DUST is an antiseptic washing powder that GOLD only removes the visible dirt and grease, but goes deep after every hidden particle and minute impurity —every trace of germ life—sterilizes as well as cleanses—and leaves everything it touches clean, pure, whole- If you want to reduce the muscular effort of household cleaning and make work a pleasure, let GOLD DUST show you to doistoassist GOLD DUST it does most of the work. “let the GOLD mm‘mun—--—f i T ] Made by THE N. K. FAIRBANK COMPANY SOAP, the oval cake PERSONAL NOTES. Once Pittaburg counclimen could com- mand a price, but now <hey give themeelves away, Now comes the story that sclence has | produced wool-bearing poultry—the object, of course, being to enable their eggs to survive cold storage. 86,488 valuable citizens. They knew that acrosn the line lay the cheap steak zone. Frederick B. Wentworth, tive member of the Ancient and Honorable | Artlllery company. dled of pneumonia in Boston. Mr. Wentworth was 8 years old, and very aoctive. Weather Prophet Willls L. Moore has tssued & few remarks placing the ground- hog In the Ananfas club for fafling to make §00d this year. It is another case of dis- | agreeing experts. Now it appears from testimony given at a hearing before the Pure Food board of | the Department of Agriculture, that “gin- ger ale” s not ale and contains no gin- ger. It is only another case of & popular beverge tasting more like its name than like itself. Julla Gleason, & Chicago shop girl, earn- 1ng only §12 a week, gave an Ester dinner to sixty priwoners at @ police station, paying for the food out “of her which John D. Rockefeller and Andrew Carengle are not to have things all their own way on the sunny side of the street. SMILING LINES. “So you're going to marry an old man, dear; and what has he to recommend him besides his money disease, eart dear, Illustrated Bits. awfully bad!"— “While I was en‘xnled to her she made me give up drink smoking and golf. Last of all, I gave up something on .my own_aceount “What was that?’ “The [hl‘—-«hmxn “Zelaya blames the United States for his downfall.” “He ign Vhy?" *'Because Uncle Joe.'" up to date, is he it _he was —Hougton he Post. woyld blama | think & fan manufacturer be sure of success, “I should “Why so? ‘Because fans a to ralse the wind. things that never fail Baltimore American. trouble was a ‘thank “All T got for my y man who begrudges sald the ¢ effort ou're lucky,” replled the billlonaire nthropiat. “I'm expected to say you' to people who find me a sul able method of giving my money away Washington Star. sald the manager to the “that the electricity is am sorry,” isn't more than half lighted." “That s really fortunate,” said the la Canada took from this country this year | [ a the oldest ac- | amount to 50, cents & week for such work. | “because the spectacle cage containing my costume seems to be hopelessly mislaid.”— Cleveland Leader, | “Is this proposal the result of a bet, or & | doke, or u dare?” asked the Eirl ; 1 ask you to marry me because I Vou.* “It 1s unusual, | usual is the proper, | cept you. Algernon. { lm but, after all, the un- aper nowadays. 1 ac- ansas City Journal, “For a whole year I turned my back on n | 7*You noble man; what wers you doing?* | “Driving a brewery wagon."—Buffalo ¥x- | press. | Patron—This set of feeth you made for | me 18 too big. Dentist—Yes, #ir. Bit down In the chair | and 1 will enlarge your mouth a little.— Hoston Transcript. | “Who is Jane to marry?” | i pume o Brides “'Good gracio does she carry the craze | as far as that?'-Chloago Tribune. “That man over there seems to get the hell of everything, and ul I've never seen /' him give a walter a tip."" “That's easily explained. [ trick n his formier bustmes | "And what was his former business | _“He was a waiter."—Cleveland Dealer. He learned the UNCLE HIRAM'S VISIT. Chicago Record-Herald. | Yes, it's lively in the city, where they've | ®ot their ‘lectric ligh And the people soon have wrinkles from | thelr stayin’ out o' nights; They've got shows and things to keep 'em from a'gittin’ lonesome there, And they look all-fired stylish In the costly clo's ‘they wear; But 1 guess they have their troubles, just the same as me and you, And I reckon that they're often ruther worse'n ours, too. We've got wood plled {n the woodshed that'll last a year or' so, And there's more oct where that com from, and more saplin's still to g We ain't worrled over coal strikes, let the blow aw "in the billets and not have a cent to pay; While they're shivérln' up yonder where they've got so much to see. We ‘ean heat up for the bebies, that the Lord sent you and me. There Is always somethin' doin’ to make |, city people sad If it ain't a ipe famine, hear the water's bad; When the strikers 'stop the street then the mischief is to pay, | And_the people have to foot | elubbed along the way: And the fever epldemics and the smallpox every year Keep the city people stewin’, and I'm glad to live out here. why, vou'l car it, gittin® Oh, it's quiet in the country, and there's few uncommon sights, And God’s moon and stars up yonder have to do for 'leotric lights; But with ‘taters In the cellar and wood piled In the shed, When there's hay stacked in the haymows for the stock that must be fed; They can have their nolsy eity, sights up there to see, And the kind old qulet country good enough for me. with the will be MAHOGANY, OAK - WALNUT CASES NEW PIANOS GUARANTEED FOR TWENTY YEARS $190 cur FROM _$250.00 STOOL AND 1518-15 DO Cramer and Others, ties for spring and summer wear. of choosing from a large number Play a Wary Game, Siloux City Tribune. Not expecting to get any votes in Lineoln, Urlon Pacific, is 4. He was born at Brace- ville, O, and started out as a telegraph operator for the Erie raiiroad, coming to Omaha in 3‘ Mayor Dahlman of Omaha did not run any reat rigk In proposing to move the capital away, but he refrained from saying where 1t should be located. cated. An order placed now may be Your early inspection is invited reswmewseses One Dollar a Week SCARF FREE A. HOSPE CO. UGLAS ST. World’s Best Pianos:—Mason & Hamlin, Kranich & Bach, Kimball, Bush & Lane, Hallet & Davis, Cable Nelson, GUCKERT & McDONALD, Tailors ‘We are now displaying a most complete line of forelgn novel- it will afford an oppnnnnlu of exclusive styles. ‘We lmport in “single suit lengths,” and a suit cannot be dupii- delivered at your convenlence. 317 South Fifteenth Street—ESTABLISHED. 1887. l | )