Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, December 1, 1909, Page 6

THE OMAHA DALY BEE FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER. vicTon ROSEWATER, EDITOR. Entered at ‘Omahs postoffice as second- % matter. _— TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Daily Bee (without Sunday), one yea Daily Bee and Sunday, one year. DELIVERED BY CARRIER. Dally Bee (Including Sunday), per wekk. Daily Bee (without Sund: . per week .. Evening Bee (without Sunday), per week Fveding Beo (with Sunday), per week. .10 8 Bee, one year ay Bee, one year. Aadress all complainta delivery to City Circulation Department. OFFICES. Omaha—The Bee Bullamg. South Omaha—Twenty-fourth and N. Councll Bluffs—15 Scoft Street. z_,;’nmmuall.x«x.am Bullding. o o feago— arquette Bullding, New nrl-Ronme 1101-1102 No. 84 West Thirty-third Street. Washington—73 Fourteenth Straet, N, W. CORRESPONDENCE. o Communications relating to news - torial_matter should he addressed: Omaha Bee, Editorfal Department. REMITTANCES. Remit by draft express or postal order payable t~ The Bee Publishing Company. Onl cent stamps recelved In payment of mnl{ accounts. Personal checks. e!t.v(:dl Omaha or eastern exchanges, not acoepted. RTATEMENT OF CIRUULATION. Btate of Nebraska, Douglas County, es.: George B. Tzschuck, treasurer of The Bee Publ!lgln( Company, being duls sworn, sayy that the actual number of full and lete’ coples of The Dally, orning. g’zfln; and ®unday Ber printe daring the month of October. 1905, was as follo'vk: 1....42,350 23 1,790 2....4,080 23 ...48,400 3....40,600 24....40,330 o 26 1,990 L] 41,990 . .48,280 H 48,210 s . 43,000 » .. 48,070 tal 1,303,040 Returned copies . 9,070 Net total ... . 1,293,370 Dally average “ oo 4L,TRD GREORGE B, TZSCHUCK, Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and sworn 1o before me this 1st day of Noyember, 1909, (Seal) M. P, WALKE Notary Publie. Eame=—————— Subscribers leaving the oity teme porarily should Bave The Bro to them. Address will be To the Christmas shopper: now. Do it ——— Hello! wise merger, Missour| is cali- ing you. At all events, the solid south is not solid for prohibition. — Let there be light on the proposed electric light contract. — Get ready to acknowledge .the corn when the Corn show opens here next week. —_—— That garbage problem is tl% very hardest nut the city authorities have to declde. Sr—— Secretary Ballinger evidently de- * clines torattempt the reelamation of muckrdkets. T71" Mrs, Pankhurst has profited to this extent by her visit to this country, that she has made the discovery of Dr. Parkhurgt. : Luxuries come high, but it it is true that ‘we paid two billions for the late lamented panic, we paid more than it was worth. —_— Omaha’s Indlan supply depot has been saved so many times that we will not sink to despair at another threat of its abolition. — It seems that Nebraska has for once a state auditor in supervision of the insurance business who knows some- thing about insurance himseit, —— The recent march of the Sherman act appears to have demonstrated to the satisfaction of all that it is able to cleave its way without any reinforce- ment yet awhile. —_— The county board should have learned by this time that the juvenile court and detention home constitute a sacred precinct which none but district Judges may even look into. The advertiser of an appeal i1- lionaires only"” for $5,000,000 to dis- prove the claim that the rich cannot be happy, has at least given them an op- portunity for one good laugh. The gyroscope has been applied to prevent te automobile from skidding, but the Man-on-foot-scared-out-of-his- wits will continue to do the gyroscopic dance in the middle of the road. Jersey justice is to the fore again in the decision of the court that a band of grimy miscreants must wash their hands and faces three times a day. Yet the constitution is supposed to guard ainst cruel and unusual pun- fshment. And to think that after “all that mammoth Thanksgiving pie never reached the president. Who got the ple? Have we no secret service? Has the attorney general decided whether sidetracking the presidential mince is lese majeste or treason? It. seems there are two ways by which Omaha's ‘streets are covered with a layer of pfud by the dirt haul- ers. One set of wagons drops the con- tents through a sjevelike bottom and apother set spillé them out over the sides. Both are equally effective. ‘With Governor Glenn ot North Caro- lina boosting = Grover Cleveland's former attorney general and Governor Shallenberger of Nebraska pushing Grover Cleveland's former secretary of the Interfor, the Grover Clevelaud dy- $2.60 [ Into effeci The Proposed Naval Cabinet. The spirited ring to Secretary Mey- er's announcement of changes In the bureau method of administration of the Navy department may be taken to indieate new vigor and economy for the service. The public will be quick to applaud the effort to apply business principles and utilize - expert knowl- edge. Mr. Meyer has anticipated his annual report, in actually putting new plans bit with the most radical proposals, such as the abolition of cer- tain bureaus, congress has yet to deal, and it may be that it will see fit to modify the scheme. It {s evident that Mr. Meyer, himself, has decided on a compromise of the Swift board's recommendations, for instead of ad- vising an American admiralty fash- foned after the British experiences he favors an advisory cabinet composed of the chief fighting men. The underlying intent is, of course, to have the officers of the line in- terpret the navy's.condition and needs for the guidance of the secretary to- ward practical efficlency. This looks like a distinct gain, for there has been considerable criticlsm of con- flict in the bureau system. New rules are to be judged by their results, but any improvement of work- ing conditions will be welcomed in a department in which so large a portion of the public funds is Invested. If in a muititude of counsellors there is safety, the secretary of the navy is entitled to a staff of the best informed men procurable from the service. Down in Alabama. In going on record so decisively against the proposal to make pro- hibition permanent by constitutional amendment, the voters of Alabama may be considered as having repudi- dted, in a measure, the state-wide ‘“‘dry” law enacted by a legislature alected on a local option platform. The indjcations are that even the country districts rendered their verdict against the prohibition movement, to the dis- appointment of the anti-saloon advo- cates who had counted on the rural vote to offset that of the towns. With the prohibition forces at the polls in full strength, the result can- not fall to be to them a surprise and a discouragement, for the gquestion at bnce naturally arises whether the crest of the prohibition wave that has been sweeping over the country has not been reached, As far as one is able to judge of the returns at this distance, it would seem as though the tide were re- ceding from Alabama, although doubt- less this defeat will inspire the anti- saloon host to renewed zeal at the next legislative election. Nicaraguan Complications. Zelaya continues to brew mischief in Nicaragua for other peoples, and the suspicion arises that he may be devis- ing strife with European powers simply as’a part of his plan of antagon- istic campaign against the United States. Now that treatment of French citizens and interests has prompted the 10dging of a formal complaint with the French government, he may be logically blamed for having stifred up complications that will make the un- raveling of the situation all the harder for our State department. Not too much_credence, however, s to be placed in the report that he is ready to retire voluntarily. The revo- lutionary party, achieving success after success in a well conducted warfare, is not lkely to take too seriously any overtures looking to & compromise through the channels of the Nica- raguan congress. That body has been dominated all along by the dictatorial' president, and any man of its choosing as his successor would undoubtedly be only the crafty Zelaya under another name. . Garbage. The city council is still wrestling with the question of garbage removal. This question is one of the most per- plexing that confronts every growing city. The difficulty here is greater than usual because of the conditions presented by the widely scattered dwellings and long stretches of area, with scant population. Systematic and efficient garbage col- lection over the whole area included within the city limits of Omaha is what is wanted, and our previous experience fias shown that this is not to be had I“"h any of the methods heretofore tried. The final solution of the gar- bage problem will be the performance of the duty of garbage collection and disposal by the city through a mu- nicipal department organized for that purpose. Our city charter as now con- stituted does not provide for the city taking.on this work. The charter should be amended at the first opportunity to emable the eity authorities to deal with the garbage problem in a really satisfactory man- ner. The Gullible American. Discovery of a modern patchwork bedquilt as the inner basis of a wax bust for which a fabulous price was pald on representation that it' was an ancient work of art, lends a comedy feature to the stormy discussion which has been in progress among collectors and connolsseurs. When experts like Dr. Bode of the Kalser Friedrich museum can be taken In, how likely it is that inexpert Ameridan purchasers of so-called antiques will be easily swindled. That there Is In existence abroad a systematic pracjice of vietimizing nasty evidently has first call for the top | Americans is the ¢laim of our consular place on the next democratic presiden- tlal ticket service in a report just lssued from Washington. Therein are glven specl- fie cases of the most unblushing frauds, showing the market to be flooded with manufactured trash in minlatures, dec- orated snuff boxes, color prints, china, old silver, furniture and other objects of art and craftemanship. Indeed, the report goes so far to say that nothing but the veriest trash is to be found in 90 per cent of the Eurpoean antique shops. On the strength of 8o conclusive an officlal indictment, it would be the part of wisdom for every purchaser to make no investment in foreign antiq- ultes except on the most expert and authoritative advice, and except on written guaranty, as a basis for legal recovery in case of fraud. This gov- ernmentel disclosure of the extent to which the forelgner preys on Ameri- can gullibility should inspite every tourist to exercise the fullest vigilance, and to take no chance with ‘dealers that hoax him under the motto of “‘Let the buyer beware Popular Franchise, A person who will watch the way people vote will not be carried away with the idea that popular franchise is a good thing. *schu)ger Free Lance. Now, Brother Sprecher, you ought not to be so downcast just because some of your preferred candidates for office lost out in the late election. The popular franchise is the founda- tion ‘stone of popular government. The people, it is true, sometimes make mistakes in registering thelr ver- dicts at the polls just as individuals make mistakes, but in the long run and on the average the popular verdict strikes it right. There is this further to be said, that |when the people vote and find they have voted wrong it is not so long till they have a chance to retrace the step and turn down officlals who have failed to make good. Just remember that popular fran- chise is here to stay. —_— This talk of the Standard fleeing to toreign climes if the final decision is against its contentions, raises the ques- tien whither it would flee. The hand of government control is being laid heavily upon such combinations in European countries, in the way of not only regulation, but also of taxation, and Britain, Germany and France all stand ready to touch the American newecomer's pocket nerve with no spe- clal regard for its feelings. » The difference between wise expert and foolish lay judgments is well illus- trated by the case of the man in Ohio who was permitted to roam at large till he killed several persons and him- self. The judicial mind had pronounced him a sufferer from exaggerated ego, while ordinary folks just called him crazy. How much more impressive the exaggerated ego looks in the death certificates. A leading magazine editor advises American youth to live frugally, citing his own experience on a student diet of crackers and raisins, and now look at him. But he should have couched his appeal more poetically to catch the adolescent mind. Old Omar had a craftler way, as witness his “Loaf of bread, jug of wine, and thou.” Crack- ers and raisins, indeed! While congratulating the lowa stu- dents on their victory at the live stock show, let us not fail to observe that the boys from Ontario took second honors Vahead of all United States competitors. It is wholesome to bear In mind that in agricultural proireulveneu our northern neighbor is’ keeping up a lively competition all along the line. Another evidence of the fact that corn and culture can be grown from the same soil 1s given to the world in the announcement that a boy bred in Nebraska has become director of edu- cation to guide the brown islanders of our Philippine possessions into the paths of light and knowledge. It is just possible that the outcome in Alabama may have the result of |making Mr, Bryan slow up on the pub- lication of those articles favoring pro- hibition which he has scheduled for early issues of his Commoner. What a fluttering of Back Bay skirts over the arrest of fashionable dress- makers for smuggling Boston gowns! One can almost sniff the trouble brew- ing In the caddy of those daughters of the original tea party. Canned Greece. ‘Washington Post The Standard Oil has annexed Greece, but they have no Sherman law In Greece. Its Turn. Ploneer Press. Wili'am J.. Bryan indicates that local option is to be the paramount issue in 1912. If the women suffrage advocates only | will be patient thelr turn should come in 1916, Why Not Strike the Limitt Pittsburg Dispateh. The congressman who urges the buflding of a 30,000-fon Dbattieship so as to ger several years ahead of the rest of the world at a jump, made the mistake of pufting his lmit too low. Why not make it & 100,000 tons and get that much further ahead? A Coming Spectacie. Chicago Record-Herald. Preparations are already being made for the reception of Rooseveit when he visits the capitals of Burope, and it is predicted that his weleome will beat anything that hes ever hitherto been accorded to any monarch or president. It will be a stu- pendous triumph for the frock coat and the silk hat. o — Reform Imperative. Baltimore American. Football remedial legislation Is talked of in several states. The fatality attending the game this season has shocked and alarmed college authorities and families of players. Either & way must be found to play the game with more security to life THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1 and Himb or aroused public sentiment will demand ité abolition. Established as it s in the natlonal sports, it {s hardly worth the sacrifice of human life for its con- tinuance. Where Consolfdation s Needed. Clevelahd Leader Central America needs a strong dose of combination and sonsolidation. It might make one decently solld and orderly re- publie, but In its present hashed-up state it can hardly settle down to peace and steady good behavior. New Lime of Divorces. New York Wor'd A plan to divorce & western rallroad from the system to which it belongs Is reported Is the divorce habit spreading to 'corpora- tions? The United States Circuit Court in the Standard Ofl decision appears to have given it an impetus. Rally at the Ple Counter. Philadelphia Press. The ‘“‘ple counter” at Washington is still lined with hungry, heartsick applicants, who cannot understand why President Taft should apply himself to such a common- place task as writing an annual message when there are so many hice, fat jobs to dispense. Hounded to a Breakdown. San Francisco Chronicle. No one need be surprised that Dr. Cook has had a nervous breakdown After his harsh experience on the polar pack and his perils of lite and limb, an instant plunge on his return home into a bitter controversy on the outcome of which his reputation hinged was enough to shred the nerves of a stronger man. MAKE IT SHORT, WILLIAM, Hopetul Prospect for m Condenwed Presidential Message. Philadelphia Ledger. An encouraging Intimation 1s given from Washington that the president's message at the opening of congrees will be short. The shorter he can make it the more read- ers it will have and the greater Impression it will make. The president's annual mes- sage has in recent years grown to absurd prcportions. Mr. Roosevelt used to pour himself out at such inordinate length and on such & wide range of topics that very few persons could find time to read him and any new ideas that the message con- tained often required many days to reach the public consclence. All that such a message ought to do Is to state briefly such information as it may be necessary to Bive to congress and to suggest such toples as the president may deem it proper to call to attention, leaving all the details to the discretion of congress itself. If Presidont Taft shall present no more than a bare outline of the program he has in mind, ais message will be quite long enough. If he will write such a paper as everybody can read and understand he can do the coun- try a great service. —— URE OF THE WEST. Fascination of the 0ld West Sur- passed by the New. Denver Republican. The “land show" recently held in Chi- cago, and which in all probability is to be- come an annual affalr, would indlicate that the various changes that have taken place in the great west within recent years have not robbed this part of the country of its lure, Huyndréds of ‘thousands of people have' wondered at exhibits from the west—not exhiblts of cowboys and stage coaches, and Indians in thelf"savage attire, but displays from fields an@ orchards. Western grains and western fruits have been gazed upon by a multitude that gave no thought to the old stage coach, and prosperous and un- romantic looking ranchmen have held the center of the stage to the exclusion of the cowboys and ‘bad man.” It is evident that, fascinating as the old west has been, the new west is going to hold a greater lure. The process of making the old trails into modern roads has not killed public interest in the vast country whose hills and plains have been haunted with the spirit of romance. The west has changed its call, but the new note is even more appealing than the old. It still holds its lure for those who gaze from afar, and apparently it Is always to be the Promised Land where bounties never fail. “A CONTEMPTIBLE CONSPIRACY.” Attempt to Rob the Democratie Party of Its Property. Charleston News and Courler (dem.) That the democratic party has a right/ to Mr. Bryan nobody hus disputed. There are certain things which are the property of 'the democracy, such as the symbolic Jackass, the support of muck-rakers, Tam- many hall, Jeffries Davis and Mr. Bryan They are as absolutely the property of the party as the government is the prop- erty of the republican party. Any artempt to wteal the democracy’s thrice nearly- clected leader must be viewed by all citi- zens, no matter of what political creed, with consternation and regret. However, we are told that there is such a conspiracy on foot. Some of our readers may not know it, but Mr. Bryan is a lawyer, That I, he was once a fwyer, and a very good law- yer, too, we are told. He was averse to acting for corporations, or at least he did not In general act for them, and we presume the reason glven is the correcl | reason, but he did on several occaslons represent rich men, and to his credit. Some one, unkindly In his motive, has called President Taft's attention to the profes- slonal worth of the peerless one, much to the elation of the president, who, so we understand, has decided to point Mr Bryan to the vacancy In the supreme court United States It is remarkable that his name was not suggested long ago, but it was not. His professional ability and |availability have been hidden under bushel these many years We can view this announcement, 1s not yet confirmed, o and fedr. It is another scheme of the re- publicans to shelve a good man, to put | him where he can do no harm, to take from | the cause of the people their most valiant defender, and to prevent our candidate from once more entering the elections “with | every hops of success.” It is a confession of republican fallure, an acknowledgcd- ment of the superior statesmanship, wis- of the People is jneorruptible, and though he would doubtless adorn the federal trib. unal of the last resort, he in needed to adorn democracy's autumnal forest of dead ambitions and to coax away our dis- couragement until the birth of spring. We shall not, eannot, permit him to be stolen m:h us in the night Democrats within and without the party lines are as one in demanding that Mr. Bryan shall not be appointed to the su- «Teme court, whieh | with trepidation | | dom, generosity and seif-effacement of the | Around New York Ripples on the Curremt of Life as Seen in the Great Amerioan Motropolis from Day to Day. Melancholy significance is given the stock Joke that the the shadow’ of the doctor by the efforts of en- terprising . practitioners “of New York to combine In a corporation the three busi nesses of hospital care, medical attendahce and funeral directing. The papers filed nt Albany by the “World Medical company” of New York states the object: “For the entering into contracts with per- €ons and thelr families to furnish medical undertaker walks In of such treatment and for the manufac- ture, buying, selling and dealing in drugs and medical and surgical appliances. “For the entering Into contracts with un- dertakers for the purpose of burying the dead and supplying the necessaries there- for, and for the purpose of entering into contracts with persons and their famili's for the burial of such persons and thelr families and the furnishing of the necus- sarles therefor.” The secretary of state refused to grant a certificate of incorporation and made these remarks on the side: “It is sald that cor- poratiobs have no soul, but this one cer tainly fs long on brains; the man who thought it out is a gentus. If allowed to do business in New York state the company would earn the gratitude of all those whom It freed:from allments and at the same time earn their money. If the company's medicine would not help the sick and they were to die the company would lose the gratitude of the patlents, but they would double on the money, for it would vet re- main for the concern to bury them. Surely we are living In an age of wonderful progress. “I am compelled to deny the company's application for the reason that a corpora- tlon cannot practice medicine In this state. The Interborough company, operating the subway and the elevated railways of New York county, reports earnings for the year ended June 30 of $26,524,34 from all sources. Its operating cost was $10,- 47443, which 1s only a little over 40 per cent. Excluding other sources of revenue, save the actual nickels of passengers, the operation percentage is not quite No steam railroad in the country, re- marks the World, has anything approach- Ing such a record. The operation cost of the Pennsylvania In 1908 was 75 per cent of all operation earnings and not quite 70 per cent of all Income. The correspond- ing figures of the New York Central were T2.67 per cent and a little less than 68 per cent. The Lackawanna, the richest road of its size in the country, paid for opera- tlon 61 per cent of all income and 58 per cent of operation earnings. To take an example geographically far removed, the Great Northern rallway, bullt up most economically by the genius and energy of J. J. Hill and fortunate in & noncompeti- |tive territory, pald in 1908 6643 per cent for operation. True, last year was not a favorable one. The New York Central's operating ex- pense in 1905 was nearly four points lower than In 1808, but the average operation cost of all American rallroads for a term of years is well above two-thirds. What does the Interborough do with all its money? That part which it pays to the clty on subway bonds fs relatively small. No rallroad In the country pays so low a rate of Interest on its debentures, nor are there many rallroads whose Interest pay- ments are so small In proportion to traffic Income. Such roads as the Great North- ern, which has no bonds, and the Lacka- wanna, which has relatively few, are a marked exception, The Interborough pays a 7 per cent guaranteed dividend on the watered stock of the elevated lines. It pays 9 per cent on its own stock, whose volume is a tri- umph of corporate bookkeeping over an- tecedent probabllities, and it has just car- ried to surplus account a sum equal to § per cent on_$23,000,000. The business district of New York con- tinues to move its northern boundaries rap- {dly up Manhattan Island along Fifth ave- nue. Some time ago apartment houses and stores took possession of the block Just south of the Vanderbilt mansions Fifty-first street, and now the old Gallatin home on the block to the north has been leased for conversion Into salesrooms for carriages and automobiles. Both sides of the avenue up to St. Patrick’s cathedral and the Vanderbilt homes are now oecu- pied by business houses hardly without exception. Only a few years back that was the show residence section of the eity. | When one looks at the Astor, the Knlcker- |Pocker, the Belmont, the Regls, and [the other great hotels that have been in the last half dozen added to New Yor} years, to say nothing of the liberal supply before, he would naturally guess how they ars to be filled, and who is to support them, But thelr managers are studying another phase of the problem. Who is to find rooms for all who apply? Today the demand for rooms is enor- mous. The hotels are running at full steam |TEree more great structures would be |netded to meet the demand. | This is not horse show week, and the |automobile shows are in the future, The |fact Is that New York Itself is a show {blg enough to attract the world as its | Buests, temporary or permanent. The | crowds are continuous, by trainload and |shipload. They are flocking here, from | Europe, from Texas, from Manitaba, from | New Mexico, from all parts of the world |to see and be seen—and above all, to spend | their money. | Signs of weakness are said to be appear- |ing in the landspans of the new $20,000,000 | Willlamsburg bridge, because of the tre- mtendous” strain put on it by increasing traffic, and is is reported today that Bridge Ccmmissioner Stevenson will in a few days |arply to the Board of imate for an ap- | propriation of $00000 to strengthen the kened parts of the structure. The river spans were strengthened some time ago No fears are expressed that the bridge will collapse, as it is understood that measures |have been taken to aistribute the until the spans can be reinforced | The physicians of Mount Sinai hospital, { Madison avenue and 103d street, were sur- | prised by the number and appearance of the upplicants attracted by an advertise- Nebraskan, who, in frteen short years | ment offerin a reward to & young man has won for himself &' reputation such 48 | who would submit himself to blood trans- | no other American ever possessed, 10.”..\ This is the advertisement, p r | AN we can say to President Taft is|by Dr. David J. Kallskt, of 103 East 103 “Doa’t!” You shall not steal our candi- |street, head of the pathological department date from us In any such way. You nnul:i Healthy man, 20 to 3 years old, over 10 | pounds, to give blood transfusion; rewand; | mot erueity out hope upon a cross of honor. (ROURAR, IO BLVS B0 a1 OD;, ewand: You shall not press this crown of thorns|East 103d’ sireet. upon owr lhpeful heads The Tribune| A patient for exireme anemia, a man, |caused the insertion of the advertisement | During the hour specified in it there |came to Dr. Kaliski's office fifteen young men altogether fitted for the doctors pur- pose. Every one was of the proper age, all healthy apd vigorous looking. They ap- pebired to be mainly from the mechanic | class—chauffeurs, plumbers, carpenters; there were among them two students of the College of the City of New York, try- ing to work thelr way through; there was a young engineer and a lawyer. and surgical treatment and the furnishing traffic | PERSONAL NOTES. | Dr. Anna E. Blount of Chicago, treating | the divorce question, sald: “While it s a }mnuwr‘n duty to care for her children, I | do not think it is up to her to sew on her husband’s buttons.”” This will vital lssue In the suffrage fight. Edgar L. Plerson of New York City, ie a shining bulb In a naughty world. He | Pmssed through bankruptey ten years ago, | and now asks the court to reopen_the case 80 that his creditors may divide twenty- three acres of land which he did not know he owned become a The father of seventeen children—one set of twins among them—and fourteen of them living, John R.dEcker, for many years constable of North Century township, Ches- ter county, Philadelphia, died recently. He was known all through the rural country for miles around as a musician and teacher of brass bands, and for years he had one to Instruct almost every night of the week. In his sermon at the Whitney Opera Hhouse, Chicago, last Sunday the Rev. John D. Leek tore a cherished page from Chi- cago's history and gave the prohibitionists & brand new argument by declaring that the sturdy hind hoof of Mra. O'Leary cow was Inspired to its disastrous action by bovine resentment at three boys who had sneaked into the barn to steal milk fo & whisky punch, Ex-Vice President Stevenson in his rem iniscences tells stories of Willlam M | Evarts among others. 1t was Evarts whe speaking to the toast, “The Sage of the Bar,”" at a banquet given in his honor by prominent lawyers of New York, surveyed the decimated dish before him and began, What a wonderful transition! An hour ago you beheld a goose stuffed with sage; now you behold a sage stuffed with goose PRATTLE OF THE YOUNGSTERS. Mamma—Wha can 1 do to Induce you to g0 to bed, dear? Nettie (aged 6)—You can another hour. let me sit up [} Lola, aged 6, was going to the country to spend a week, and after finishing her even- Ing prayer before starting she added: “Good-by, Lord. I'm going away for a week, and I wish you would keep your eye on papa and mamma. / “Now, Tommy," said the SBunday school teacher, “‘what does it mean In the prayer where it says, ‘Lead us not into tempta- tion? ** 1 guess It means the Lord needn't bother about us, because we can gét In ourselves without being led!"” answered Tommy. Mother—Tommy, have you eaten all your candies without even thinking of your little sister? Tommy—Oh, no, mamma. I ing about her the whole afraid she’'d come before I was " think- time. I was had finished. Small Bobby—Papa, faster thau a boy? Papa—Because he is bigger, my boy. Small Bobby (after pondering for a few moments)—Well, if that's the reason, why why can a man_run only baking from Royal Grape Cream of Tartar \ 5 —made from Grapes— Finest, Parest Food CHEERY CHAFF. “Binks has bought his wife a new piano.” “1 knew it." “How could you? He only got it today, and it's to be & surprise Yes, but I knew she was sore at him."— Cleveland Leader. Cour husband doesn’'t seem to take a very active part in politics,” observed the caller. No, 1d Mrs. Lapsling, “he doesn't believe In going t tremes In anything; he's a conservatory.”—Chicagb Tribune. “Parker and his wife have m-xmute«l."" ‘What are the terms?' ‘“They each get their cook for six months."—Life. Visitor—Fat men, I notice, are quite thick in Boston. Hubblc—Fat men are quite thick wher- ever you find them.—Boston Transeript “Doctor, how many times have you op- erated for appendicitis?” “Oh, at least fifty times, I should sa. “And how many cases have you lost?" “Only two. One of them went Into bapk- ruptcy and the other died without leaving a dollar."—Chicago Record-Herald “How does your husband like this part of town?" ‘Well, he used to be a good deal fleshier on the north side.” “Graclous! Doe he get fleshier on one ide than he does on the.other?’'—Chicago 'ribune. Book Agent—Roosevelt's latest work, madam. Tells you all about the habits of animals. Don't need It. I've eveland Leader. had three husbands | Woggs—Young Smith has failed in busi- | ness again. ‘T'm sorry for the boy, but 100 close adherence to high principles ru- ined him. Boggs—How s0? \ “Our product is it leaves the fac- " which {8 & very hard thing to live up fo when you are manufacturing dyna- mite.—Puck, Woggs—He advertised thoroughly tested before CRADLE SONG. From Poems of Father Tabb, Who Died at Elliott City, Md., Nov. 19. Pt Sing it, mother! sing It low; Deem it not an idle lay. In the heart 'twill ebb and flow All the . litelong way. 8ing it..mathen! softly sing, While he slumbers on thy knee; All that after vears may bring Shall flow back to thee. Sing It, mother! Love s strong! When the tears of manhood fall, Echoes of thy eradle song Shall its peace recall, Sing it. mother! when his ear Catches firet the Voice Divine, [} Dying, he may smile to hear What he deemeth thine. Pl Lanows™ don’t the hind wheely of a wagon rur i Mason & Hamlin Is Choice of faster than the front wheels? A teacher In the factory district of a Artist Whose Fame Is New Jersey town had been giving the 4 p | ehilaren earnest lectures upon the poison- International. ousness of dirt One morning a little girl ralsed her hand i 2 excitedly and-pointed to a boy who seldom ’ A had clean hands. Landow’s Artistry and His 4 “Teacher,” she said, “look quick! " " F 4 Jimmy's committin' sulcide! He's suckin'| Choice of Instruments Will | his thumb. 1 Become a Topic of Ut- A Rude Awake = p Ut Pittsburg D'mpatch. There was a time when certain Interests most Interest in Mu- were jubllantly welcoming “an era of gov-| 2 A ernment by law,” but since they have it, | sical Circles. | like the gentleman who was promised jus tice, “begorra, that's just what they don’ A | want." “His very finger tips vre endowed with i music,” says one authority of Max Lane Looks that Way dow, the melody wizard who is to give Philadelphia Record. ! this only plano recital of the season at The Spaniards still insist that although | el | " s 5 {a matador is occasionally woundea in o |‘"¢ First Baptist church on Thursday bull fight," their national sport is far Jess |®¥¢NINE next ’ ’ {brutal than the puritanic game of foo ! Landow, true music that he is, can- ball. Inu(, will n put forth all of his latent Ipower, unles: 1 before a plano 1] worthy of his mettle, | 2 . Landow’s fingers have persuaded muste most “brilllant” makes of Instruments of 5 both Europe and America, but he asserts When you buy a watch go [t nis tdeal of tnstrament bullding s | . . /{the “MASON & HAMLIN the make . | toa reliable Je“eler who deals lately secured by the A. Hospe company 1 |in nothing but jewelry and 1513 Douglas strast, to- serve as b leader for its st of “top notchers.” | watches. e will not sell you | The words “Mason & Hamitn Tension A SRR T, UL Tone Resonator” do not mean much to a watch until it is in €OTTeCt |ie layman, bu Max Landow's seripupe, |of @ noteworthy program on Thursda. WALTHAM shape, is regulated and oiled— then, if the wateh is a Wal- | tham, it will stay correct. ( N. B.—When buying a Waltham Watch always ask your jeweler for one adjusted to temperature and position. | | Mason & Hamlin is wonderful, next will prove to a vast audience wfiat such a contrivanice hds to do with the brilliant rendition of musie. Not only will Mr. Landow use the Ma son & Hamlin piano at his fortheoming ] recital, but this is the only Snatrument he will permit about his studio, ' not only from a musiclan’s standpoint, but from & mechanical view as well” In his forthcoming reciial at the First Baptist church, Mr, Lanlow will render \ the same program that caused such o sur among Berlin critics—will even put more genfus 18t0 his work because of a; pearing in his adopted nome city, ‘Twill be the season's event for music lovers and seats should be engaged noy at Hrandels', Haydens', Bennett's or ‘ the A. Hospe company, 1613 Douglas street,