Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, May 15, 1909, Page 14

g g ¥ THE OMAHA DALY Bm FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR Entered at Omaha postofffice as second- class matter. TERMS OF SURBSCRIPTION ally Bee (without Bunday), one year..$400 aily Bee and Sunday one year L8 DELIVERED BY CARRIER K Daily Bee (including Sunday), per week. 1o Daily Bee (without Sunday), per week.. loc Evening Bee (without Sunday)per week 8 Evening Bee (with Sund; per week 10c Sunday Bee, one year Pt 2.5 Baturday Bee, one year. Address all complaints of delivery to City Circulation OFFICES Omaha—The Ree Bullding. South Omaha—Twenty-fourth and Councll Bluffs— Scott Street Lincoln—§18 Little Bullding, Chicago—1648_Marquette Building. New York—Rooms 1101-1102 No. 34 West Thirty-third Street Washington—725 Fourteenth Street, N, CORRESPONDENCE mmunications relating to news and edi- te | matter should be addressed: Omaha Bee, Editorial Department REMITTANCES. Remit by draft, express or postal order, payable to The Dee Publishing Company. Only 2-cent stamps recelved in payraent of mall accounts. Personal checks, except on Omaha or eastern exchanges, not accepted. ... 160 irregularities in Department. N w. STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. State of Nebraska, Douglas County, 8s: Geo:ge B Tzschuck, treasurer of The Bee Publishing company. being duly #worn, sayd that the actuaj number of 'ull and complete coples of The Dally, forning, Evenin, during the mont! follow of April, 1009, was as . 39,260 17. 41,030 . 39,080 18, 37,130 . 89,490 19 40,350 .. 37,600 20 40,620 . 41300 21 40,410 <. 40,540 22 40,460 . 41,600 .. 41,450 o .. 41,680 10 .. 41,400 31,00 .. 37,300 12. . 41,300 13 .. 41,440 14 .. 40,520 45,360 15 . 40,600 —— 16 40,650 Total. 1,336,410 Returned coples Net total..... Dally average. A GEORGE B. TZSCH s Treasu er. Bubscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this ist day of May, 1909. M. P, LKER, Notary Publie. WHEN OUT OF TOW Subscribers leavin porarily should ve mailed to them. Address w changed as often as requested. The Dahlman Democracy is still ratifying the loss of half the ticket. Fly time In Washington {s approach- ing. The Wrights have returned. Actor Hackett is bankrupt, leaving a whole lot of people who would like to see something besides stage money. Up in Canada Colonel Bryan is wearing his military title again. Those colonels on the governor's staff should admit him to honorary membership. The various kinds of fruits dis- played on women's hats give ground for the belief that Wizard Burbank hes gone into the millinery business. That juror who tried to borrow jmoney from a lawyer certainly dis- played suficient lack of general in- formation to entitle him to qualify in the case. - « Castro is to live in the Canary islands. There has been a prevailing opinion that Castro was a bird and it is eatisfying to know that has found his nest he If all the big state banks take out national bank charters that deposit guaranty fund provided for by the new Nebraska law will not overawe any- body for a long time. It turns out that the destroyed sig- nal corps balloon can be replaced at a cost of about $2,000. A balloon valued at such a paltry sum can never again fly so high in public estimation. The government is sending experts to the Salton sea to study the prob- lem of rapid evaporation. They can get some experience nearer home by watching a few over-watered stocks. New York has gone into importing | methods of operation of these banks becomes 8 them' for a certain species of frogs reputed to be infallible weather prognosticators. It 18 certainly a wise frog which can guess correctly on New York weather. Not a word of protest yet from our amiable democratic contemporary against Norfolk’s new Carnegie library? What's the matter? Has | Carnegle’s money suddenly lost its | taint? A Washington swindler when ar- rested offered to pay up by drawing a check on the Bank of Heaven. Any wonder the victims have a strong sus- picion that the check will be tested? \ —_— It is to be hoped that the allurement of a spin in that beautiful new auto- mobile police patrol will not offset the deterrent influence of the discomforts of a jall lodging in prospect at the end of the ride. How heartless in the Water board to ask those lawyers to fix definite fig- ures for their fees after they had got- ten 8o accustomed to drawing at sight and without limit every time they wanted a trip to Europe. —_— Although a government clerk in ‘Washington is reported to have died from overwork, employes in the fed- eral service need not be alarmed, a: the case is pronounced sporadic with no probability of becoming epidemic. The first boat in forty years to at- tempt the navigation of the Des Moines river met with an accident on its ini- tial trip. There is one advantage in pavigating the Des Moines-—whenever your boat meets with disaster you can wade ashore in perfect safety. and Sunday Bee printed | | An Important Rate Ruling. The decision of the Interstate Com- merce commission on the Kansas City- | Omaha erain ‘rate differential 1s im- portant in several particulars, im- portant to Omaha in itseif as keeping [oven the door to the Omaha market and important in its broader sense by reafirming the principle that distance |alone does not determine reasonable- | ness of rates. The decision, if any- \lnnnx, goes a little farther than pre- | vious decisions on this subject and |sets out more clearly what elements must be considered in fixing rates from various points in their relation to each other. It goes to the very | bottom of the object of rate regulation | as between localities by declaring that | the’ purpose of the law is to afford the fullest competition both to the primary purchase and the marketing of produce and merchandise in order that both producer, dealer and con- sumer may meet on an equitable basis -in other words that the producer may have more than one delivery point and the consumer more than one primary market upon which to draw without a rate barrier intervening. That the enforcement of such a rule |is subject to many complications is obvious and that contentions must [ therefore continually arise in its ap- | plication to particular facts is likewise {certain. In the long run both Kansas | City and Omaha must benefit from this | decision, though at present to Omaha, as the newer market, it is the more vital. The Omaha market, though an infant compared with others, has at- tained the rank of the fourth primary receiving point for grain. While to have crippled this market outlet by a discriminating decision would have been a serious blow to all concerned, the overturning of the basic prineiple involved would have meant chaos for all our great trade centers. Ex-Governor Crounse. With the passing or ex-Governor Lorenzo Crounse Nebraska has lost two former chief executives within a period of six weeks. The term of Governor Crounse intercepted that of the first democratic governor and that of our first populist governor, and had he not refused to stand for re-election the whole recent political history of Nebraska would, without question, have been essentjally different. Ex-Governor ' Crounse was honored by elevation to many offices. served as supreme judge, member of congress, collector of internal revenue, inssletnn( secretary of the treasury and state senator, as well as chief execu- tive of the state. For all of these positions he was indebted to the re- publican party. His election as gov- | ernor was brought about practically at the instigation and through the efforte of the founder and editor of The Bee |in an earnest and successful effort to keep Nebraska in the republican | eolumn’ for the presidential election of | 1892 the tactical candidate to meet the then existing conditions, his nomination | was brought about by a few friends and his election followed. ernorship Judge Crounse's participa- tion in public affairs has been com paratively small and he dies peacefully in the fullness of life at an age well past the biblical three score and ten. | Good Advice to Bankers. | Congressman Walter I. Smith - has |'given the lowa bankers assembled in convention in Council Bluffs some ;wholeanme advice on the postal sav- ings bank bill. He bluntly tells them that postal savings banks are sure to come; that they are a fixture in every | European country and that public sen- | timent s certain, ultimately, to force the adoption of the plan in the United States. The bankers are reminded that they have been going on the sup- | position that they alone are interested and that because they do not want postal savings banks they have been |80 aligning themselves as to have hmthlng to say regarding the scope and | when their = establishment finally a fact. He adv their own good, as well as for that of the entire public, instead of blindly | opposing the inevitable to give lawmakers the benefit of their experi- ence as bankers in the framing of a workable law. advice is wholesome, but whether the public cares to take advice from ad- clear. | likely draw down suspiclon. A policy | committed by platform on which the president and which the people expect to have deemed with reasonable Two Record Breakers. teresting paragraph: All the saloon keepers reported big sales. One saloon man sald that yesterday which he other day, had ever seen he said, in Lincoln hal been a Jennings Bryan last summer, Qay, ho said, beat anyihing up o date. Two record-breakers will, therefore, red-letter days in its history. The first He | Recognizing in Judge Crounse | the So far as the bankers themselves are concerned there is no doubt that the mitted enemies of theé plan is not so The experience of the bankers undoubtedly would be a valuable as- set in the framing of such a law if it Pro- | were given in a disinterested way, but its tender at such a late day would of hands off on the part of the bank- ers would expedite the desired legisla- | tion to which all political parties are declarations every member of congress were elected and re- promptness, From the Lincoin Journal's graphie account of the wind-up marking the transition from ‘“‘wet” to “dry” at the state capital, we take the following in- was | the biggest day for the saloon business One record- breaker, that of the notification of William but yester- go down in the annals of Lincoln as record-breaker is that of Ilht notification of William Jennings THE BEE Bryan in the summer of 1908, when famished and thirsty demoerats from all over the country were bubbling over with exuberance under the shadow of Fairview, The second record-breaker seems to have beaten the Bryanite high water mark and will probably be remem- bered longer because it will be further between drinks It this information becomes public property there is danger that the next nomination of Mr. Bryan will be con- ditioned on a promise to take his noti- fication again to Madison Square gar- den or some other'equally attractive resort in the “‘wet” belt. Decrease in Railroad Fatalities. The exhibit of decreased rallway fatalities given out by Slason Thomp- won, well known as a railroad publicity agent, commands far more attention by reason of the admissions it con- Citing the Interstate Commerce com- mission report, Mr. Thompson points out there has been a material decrease in the number of fatalities due to rail- road operation in 1908 as compared with the preceding year. The fact must be gratifying both to the publie and to the companies, because the loss of life incident to the operation of American railways is one of the most regrettable features of our modern in- dustrialism. That the life toll is higher in the United States than abroad is due in part to conditions of equipment .and service beyond the power of the rallroads to control, but also in large part to preventable causes. The admission which challenges at- tention in the statement referred to is the following: The conclusion is unavoidable that the marked diminution of fatalities in 1908 was due almost entirely to the recession in frelght traffic, which took the strain off every department of service and sub- stituted orderly observance of rules by passengers and employes for their vio- lation in the feverfsh rush of prosperity that culminated in October, 1908. That the desire to produce resuits under the stress of heavy traffic should lead to the taking of chances is not strange, but none the less to be con- demned. Fatalities due to the ignor- ing of rules formulated for purposes of safety, by the operating employes on account of pressure for ‘results’” |agement directly responsible for this waste of human life. It is an indict- ment of the railroads from their own court of their own methods. The excessive sacrifice of human life is the one great reproach of American railroads, otherwise as a rule admir- ably serving the public needs. The confession that so much af it can be avoided should arouse a public senti- { ment that will force the application of }lhe remedy. Regulating Coffee Prices. For & number of years the Braziltan government has sought by artificlal means to enhance the profits of its coffee growers by exercising control over the marketing of the crop. It has by law limited the amount to be exported and the result has been that growers have rushed their crop to market at the earliest moment possi- ble in order to find a sale. For those who were late it meant absolutely no market and for those who sold it was the natural result of a glutted market, lower prices, defeating the-very ob- ject the law sought to obtain. Seeing the failure of this plan the government now proposes another, that of taking 10 per cent of every shipment and absolutely destroying it. Whatever might be the immediate re- sult of this scheme, it would be cer- tain in the long run to defeat its ob- ject. Coffee is a product of world- wide consumption and must seek an outlet into a world-wide market. It can also be successfully grown in many and extensive sections of the world. Any effort on the part of the grower in one section to fix permanently its price by artificial means must neces- sarily fail. Artificial barriers can gov- ern the price only where production is absolutely limited. Where, as in the case of coffee, the output must seek a world-wide market in competition with widely diversified production the destruction of a portion of the crop in Brazil could have only temporary effect. This economic proposition Is so elementary and obvious it seems strange the Brazilians prefer to ignore it. So far as the Brazilians themselves are concerned the economic waste of destroying 10 per cent of the product of their industry would be a piece of wanton waste altogether inexcusable. The engineer selected by the State Railway commission, with the approval of the governor, to take charge of the work of physical valuation, is to re- ceive $400 a month, which is $4,800 a year, or more than the salary of the chief justice of the supreme court and nearly twice the salary of any other elective state officer. Physical valuas tion comes high, but we must have it. | Since his retirement from the gov- | The practicabllity of the wireless telephone has been demonstrated again. It is not likely to prove popu- lar, however, until some way can be devised to keep out eavesdroppers. The party line is bad enough, but just think of taking a chance on talking to your best girl over the wireles: A Governor Shallenberger has again selected Mayor Jim as one of the dele- gates to represent Nebraska officially at the Missouri River vigation con- gress, which meets this time at Yank- ton. Well, Governor, what is it—a peace offering or a satir It is said that Thomas L. Hisgen of Massachusetts has an ambition to oe- cupy the seat in the senate now held down by Senator Lodge. If he gets tains than from the fisures set forth. | from those higher up make the man- | OMAHA, SATURDAY, MAY no nearer it than he did to the presi- dency the present occupant will have no occasion to worry. | A Symwntom of Peace. Washington Post The American king of one of the Fyi islande has passed away without Inte national complications. Peace advocates should make the most of it The Reckoning Will Come. | New York Tribune. The most important fact for the tariff makers In Washington to remember is that no revision will last long which does not commend itself to the sentiment of the voters as progressive and rational | Senatorial Tra. hattered. Boston Herald Thére used to be a rule in the senate that new members must not talk in their first sesslon. Since La Follette broke it, he has had many ruccessors. And now some of the new members are among the most talkative Dawdles in Same Old Way. Pittsburg Dispatch Congress used to claim that President Roosevelt prevented it from doing things | needed by Infuriating it with special mes- sages. But two months in which Presi- dent Taft has strictly abstained from mes- sages do not seem to have resulted any better. A Difference in the Mo Boston Transcript. The vigor with which Mr. Loeb, the new callector of the port of New York, ls at- tending to his duties, both In the removal of ireompetent employes and in the pursuit of frauds on the revenues, disposes effec- tively of the assertion that his appointment was “purely political.” | | Jury Reasoning. Boston Herald. The reasoning process of the average jury Is past finding out. The verdict in the Hains case can ba accounted for only on the logic of a historlc New Hampshire panel, who reported that they had found the defendant “gullty of wicked and atro- clous murder,” but had decided to “soften it down and call it accidental."” Leasening Industry’'s Toll of Life. San Francisco Chronicle The United States Steel corporation spent 6,00 during the last year In efforts to make employment in Its industry safer, and has just formed a safety committee | of twenty experts to devise further means for safeguarding workers in its various plants. The new appreciation in the indus- trial and commerclal world of the wasteful loss caused by preventable accidents will be to the advantage of both employers and | employed. ENFORCI THE SHERMAN LAW Policy of the Department of Justice Outlin New York Tribune. Attofney General Wickersham's declara- tion of Intentions in his speéch had neces- sarily to be perfectly gencral. Therefore it will doubtless be interpreted variously, according to the predisposition of the in- terpreters, But it is difficult to see how he could put moré emphatically his inten- tion to enforce the law than when he an- nounced to the business interests of the country “The price of peace is obedience to the law,” or when he declared that any possible abandonment of prosecutions begun by the previous administration “‘must not be taken as any indlcation of any Inten- tion' by this administration to abandon in | the slightest degree the vigorous, impartial enforcement of the law, or to undo in any | degree the splendid work of the last ad- ministration." ‘The only sentence In the speech by which | the attorney general implies an intention | to use his discretion in regard to the ap- plication of the law was the following should be the last to authorize the institu- tion of a criminal proceeding against men, ‘who, without intention to violate the law, have nevertheless acted in technical con- | travention of an extreme and most drastls construction of that enactment (the Sher- | man law.)" It will be noted that this | declaration 18 strictly limited to “criminal proceedings.” Nothing is said of civil pro- ceedings. Indeed, In his whole speech there is not a suggestion of an intention to enforce the law clvilly only In cases “where it ought to be enforced'' Appar- ently the law is to be enforced without regnrd to personal views as to what it ought to be. And the very declaration that criminal proceedings will not be brought in technical cases and under ex- tréme constructions of the Sherman act— | In which it would be unwise for a prose- cutor to bring them, as they would surely | fail—suggests that it may be the plan of | the present administration to make a large use of the criminal provisions of that| statute to punish substantial lawbreaking. And this impression is strengthened by Mr. Wickersham's remark that the principles | underlying the Sherman act are now so | well understood “as to justify and compel the government to use all or any of the| remedies given by law adequate to prevent | the accomplishment of such purpose (com- hination in restraint of inters and to punish the attempt.” POLITICAL DRIFT. New Yorkers are staggered at the dis- | covery of a public officer who paid out of his own pocket the cost of printing an | official opinion he was called upon to deliver. Galveston, the home and foster parent of the commission system of city govern- | ment, defeated one of the original com- missioners who sought re-election. The | victor 18 a lidopener. | To emphasize their opposition to increased street rallway fares sanctioned by the city councils, Philadelphians have decided to do considerable walking and save the | money. Besides, they like the exercise. | Former Governor Beckham of Kentucky, now numbered among the “also rans.” has become editor of & newspaper at Frank- | fort. The defeated candidate for United | States senator has a large stock of po- | litical scores to settle with the pen 1 In tamous Fredericktown in Maryland the | desire to keep in office commissioners who declined nominations resulted in not one vote being cast at the election. The com- missioners must remain in office until their successors are elected and qualified. One of the office-making bills pushed through the Pennsylvania legislature dur- ing the ¢losing hours provided for a boiler | inspector and fees to sustain him. The | office would have ylelded $16,00 a year, | but the governor killed it with a veto. | That particular plum tree will remain un- | te trade) | shaken for another year. | The Bureau of Municipal Research in | New York City, anticipating a warm con- | test for city offices next fall, gives & pack- | age of helpful hints to aspirants for the | top job in a pamphiet telling “What New | York's Next Mayor Bhould Do." The bu reau enumerates twen hree essential things 10 do, each essential having a series of subdivisions totaling seventy-four. If this number falls to keep the new mayor | busy, it I8 expected the bureau will make | up the deficiency. | equally furious against the government be- | be hoped for. | lights grow dim and hot alr enthusi | ment, | world power class would put up thirty per | must be reported by the head of the family | census from the va | fication has | clal position, he | 1ofty condescension of the promoters, and | stands In Other Lands Side Lights on What is Wrans. piring Among the Near and Far Watlons of the Barth. Britons possess in common With the rest of mankind the characteristic of kicking against increased taxes. Yesterday they insisted that their homes were in grave peril of German Invasion, and demanded as a means of salvation that the government provide for cight new Dreadnoughts this year instead of four. Today they are cause additional revenue must be had to bulld and equip four Dreadnoughts. What they would do were the demands for eight granted and taxes levied for the necessary money can only be guessed. Certainly the revenues needed for the lesser number and the ways for getting it outlined in the budget has aroused a fierce storm of wrath in the quarters directly affected. Fears of invasion are overshadowed by feats of poverty. The rich have little prospect of growing richer. If they succeed in keeping their heads above water it is all that can The poor are not alarmed, for taxes are the least Of their troubles. The amazing transformation of public senti- ment has amusing aspects. The problem of providing the means to maintain the regal state of the mistress of the seas seems to have been overlooked. But when the gov- ernment puts up to the patriots the vital matter of means, of reaching down into thelr pockets and backing their words with the coin, the scene suddenly changes, the m 18 succeeded by groans. The spectacle of the most pretentfous aristocrats on earth stop- ping charity contributions, accusing the government of confiscation, and in other ways playing the role of pauper, is one calculated to grieve admirers of “a proud and fearless race,” and contribute much to the galety of Germa . Emperor Willlam is making amends for the diplomatic indiscretions charged against him last winter. In the disturb- ance following the annexation of Bosnia and Herzegovina to Austria and the set- tlement of that question regardless of the Berlin treaty, the Germans scored a ver- itable triumph. No less effective in ex- tending Teutonic influence In the Balkan states is his appointment of King Charles of Roumania as field marshal of the Ger- man army. As King Charles {s seventy- past the appointment is complimentary, and a very tactful one. The significance of the honor lies in the fact that the Roumanian king, an army commander with experience In the fleld, has a grievance of thirty years' standing against Russia. During the war with Turkey in 1876 the tender of Roumanian troops to Russla early in the contest was decliped. But when the Russian columns were success- ively repulsed before Plevna and the tide of battle ran against the army of the czar an urgent appeal to King Charles for assistance brought the king at the head of fresh troops into the field in time to turn Turkish victory Into defeat. When the time came for the division of the spoils of that war, not only were the clalms of the Roumanians ignored, but Russia went the limit of ingratitude by annexing Bes- serabla. That contemptible act was not forgotten. The German emperor's com- pliment, therefore, is both tactful and de- served, and materially strengthens Ger- man influence in the Balkan states, o ' A few years ago when the Japanese were walloping the Russian bear on the hills and valleys of Manchurta, an ‘amazed world looked on and grudgingly admitted that the Japs were_exceptional wallopers. In one other respect at least the Japs must be voted exceptional. They give a greater per- centage of their incomes to the govern- and do it cheerfully. Such is the claim made for'the subjects of the mikado by Adachl Kinnosuke in the Review of Reviews. “The people of Japan, writes, “are performing the financial mira- cle of giving up about thirty per cent of their net incomes every day without saying a word about it. In other words, the greatest asset of the Japanese empire of today is the patriotism of the people. Within twenty-five years, perhaps, at the rate of conquest western commercialism and the doctrine of individual rights are making among our people, we shall be as civilized as any other so-called Christian nation. As yet, however, the state, to the imagination of the people of Japan, is greater than all the gods. The glorifica- tion of the state Is the mecca of our dream: An Impressive exhibit of patriot- ism, surely. How many peoples in the cent for the glory of the state and look pleasant at the same time? wor China is preparing to take a census of fts millions of people. Existing statistics of the population of the empire are not considered accurate, being largely esti- mates or guesses of provinclal governors. The coming census I8 to be a thorough one, and after it is done the government intends to keep the flgures up to daty One of the census regulations read “After the completion of this census all birthe, deaths, marriages and adoptions to the local census office or police station, the records of the family must be revised every two months and records of individ- uale every six months, and reports must be made annually to the board of the interior by (he directors general of the us provinces." Discussing the strained relations between Great Britain and Gsrmany springing from naval rivalry, the London Saturday Review pays this tribute to the dominant Teutonic power: he Germans are much more numerous than we. better educated, more | highly efficient in the functions of fllfllelh" ship, more productive and more reproduc tlve, more responsive to their political center of gravity, and empowered by a broader base in Europe, {f vulnerable in proportion to breadth. Their imperial uni- multiplied . their international and thelr economic policy thelr industrial commer- necessitated the dévelop- ment of thelr sea power to protect it, even | apart from any ambition to become the | dominant influence in Furopean waters. It is not for us either to ignore or to hate the Germans; they have simply made it neces. | sary for us to learn from them, to admire them and to review our position in relation to theirs." i portance, multiplying and A correspondent of a Vienna paper, writ- ing from London about the recently opened department store on the American plan, marvels at the nerve of the venture, the notes the disturbance business circles. “To the great displeasure of the English people,” ¥s the writer, “the store owes its existence to American money, and it will be conducted on Ameri- can lines. London has a full quota of large stores, but this did not deter the Ameri- cans. No—they opened their store in the very heart of the business district, ‘just to created 1u London made RoYAL Baking Powder The only _—Ba.lnng Powder Royal Grape Cream of Tartar Safeguards the food against alum. Alum baking powders are the greatest menacers to health of the present day. from Fancy the arrogance contained in the ad- vertisement: ‘Our business, large as it wiil be, will not injure the old, honorable and carefully conducted concerns in our neigh- borhood. On the contrary, our pusiness will be of inestimable value to them, for it will attract the world to our district’ What will these Americans do next?’ the writer dolefully concludes. . Sweden and Norway were fortunate in having as a rulor the scholarly and peace- ful King Oscar when the alllance of the two ‘nations came to an end in 1905. King Oscar did not consider the compulsory re- tentlon of Norway worth the sacrifice war would entall and permitted Norway to go its way in peace. But the dissolution created enmities and lll-will in Sweden, particularly in officlal circles, which occa- slonally crop out in a disquieting form. Re- cently Haakon VII, wishing to honor and show good will toward Swedish diplomats by bestowing decorations, sought the usual permission from Gustavus. To the amaze- ment of the European courts,” where such requests from-one soverelgn to another is invarfably granted, the Swedish king re- plied that he wishec no officer or citizen of Bweden to wear a Norwegian decoration. LINES TO A LAUGH. “You don't care, then, to do anything for the poor, benighted heathen?" 3 “1 don’'t mean that exactl 0 1 1 don't care contribute money for them, but I am in vor of sending them fatter missionaries than we have been doing.”—Houston Post. “What would you do if ' a copperhedad #nake wrappéd (tself around the brake handle of your auto?" “Quit drinking.’'—Cleveland Plain Dealer” Chauffeur—I ran across an old friend yesterday and didn't know him. He seemed to_be very much hurt. § Wise iriend—Mortally ?-—Baltimore Amer- can. “What part of my book did enjoy?" asked - the authorette brushed her hair over her ears. And after a moment's reflection Miss Cayen wered : ““The cover design.”'—Washington Star. most she you as “Look here, doctor,”” says the ex-patient, coming into the physician's office with a determined expression, e just had the X-rays turned on me, and T find that when you ‘operated on me you left a pair of surgical scissors in me."" “Bless me! ye the spectalist. “I had missed them. Thank vou, so much, my m»d man, T will\ add "thelr cost to your " —Life. Mrs. Highsome—He preached to an audi- ence of women, did he? And he took for his text, “Let your women keep silence in the churches” That must have seemed like a deliberate insult to all of you. Mri Upmore—Quite the contrary. You ought to have heard how he roasted Paul for writing those words.—Chicago Tribune. une. “‘Well, that girl you are engaged to cer- tainly showed her hand today." “What 4o you mean, sir?" “I mean the hand with the ring on; I don't belleve she has had a glove on it today."'—Houston P “People who claim to be epicures often eat_strange and undercooked food." lef to be a réal epicure you've not goud tast but a hington Star. “Has your son any success as & lawyer? “Well, no, to tell the truth, he hasn't He has been practicing now for nearly eleven years and he has never been elected to the legislature or been appointed re- celver for anything or even become presi- they want when they want In an effort to reach suits are sold for $15 that make things lively,' they say. There it this American colossus. a symbol of American strength and self-confidence. A dent of any raflrond company. to look as if he may h living just practicing law ord-Herald. It begine to eke out a ~Chicugo Rec- “Why do you wish to be excused?" “Judge, I'm a timid man and don't wanter sit on no jury. I wouldn't like to settle case the wrong way. I wouldn't like nohody a wrong.” “You can't go amiss In this case. One affinity s suing another affinity.’—Ka sas City Journal THE COLD SPARE BED. New England Farmer When you have a friend to visit you be a welcome guest, You will try to make her happy, and you H give her of your best; | You'll tell her all the story of your varied household cares, And everlastingly you'll prate about you: | own affairs; to do it she But whatever ' else you do, dont for mercy's sake be led To put that helpless woman in the cold spare bed! You may tell her of your troubles with your numerous hired girle And ‘what “she said” and what "I said ti1] her understanding whirls You may talk of the servant question ti the setting moon’s last gleam And begin, next morning on the same ol tiresome theme: But whatever eolse you do, mercy’s sake be led To put that helplees woman in the cold spare bed! don't for You may tell her of your pains and aches and what the doctor said { That time you came near dying with neu ralgia in your head; 0f how you poured down bitters, and dr ps and patent pills. When you caught the dread malaria had pueh awful chibis: You may Yore her, you may weary her, till she wishes she were dead, But for mercy's sake don't put her in the cold spare bed. and | The Power To Do Iioollg Be Good Are . the Same. Power to Much - — - T ‘ And the One writer has truly sald during sleep and rest, sufficient energy and strength should be supplied for tomorrow's work If you will learn how to allow perfect re laxation to take place in every part of your body and how to fall asleep whenever vou desire, you will need no other remedy than g00d food to keep you in perfect physical condition. A food does not need to be heavy to be strengthening. Wheat possesses every el ment found in the human body and Egg-O Bee Wheat Flakes, a dainty, deliclous breakfast food, always ready to serve contains all the nourishment and streng of wheat in easily digested form. Be sure it's Egg-O-8ee you get, for the famous and original Egg-O-8ee process that makes Ei -See Wheat Flakes and the E-C Corn Flakes so dainty, so appe- tizing and so strengthening. A breakfast of elther means a satisfied appetite, a grat ful stomach and a good day's work fr from “nervous headaches" or dullness f sure it's the Fgg-O-See product. Alwa watch for the E-C Mark on the package Saturday A day for hurried shopping perhaps. So much the better for those who come here. They’ll get what At Fifteen Dollars We won’t offer anything that we can’t guarantee. We make the best $15 suits that the price can buy—in blues, blacks and fancy mixtures; Other Suits up to $35 Boys’ and children’s suits, as well made as the men’s and in greater variety, ' Shirts, scarfs, underwear, hose and hats, in all the new shapes and colorings. ‘BaninQ. King & Ce : 15th and Douglas Sts. R. 8. WILOOX, Mgr. it. a low price a good many are not worth the money.