Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, November 10, 1903, Page 6

f i THE OMAHA DAIL .Y BE TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1903 ' THE OMAHA DALY BEE. B. ROSEWATER, EDITOR. PUBLISHED EVERY MORNING. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION Daily Bee (without Sund: Dally Bee and Bund Tllustrated Hee, One Sunday Bes. One Y ay B osoteniings Twentleth Century Farmer, One Year DELIVERED BY CARRIER Dally Bee (witnout Bunday), per copy— 3¢ Daily Bee (without Bunday), per week,.12c Dally Bee (Including Sunday), per week.17c Bunday Bee, par copy be , One Year.$4 OUné Year......$. e & 3 1 1 Evening Beo (without Sunday), per week bc Evening Bee (ncluding Sunday), per week *10c Complainta of Irregularities in delivery #hould be addressed to City Circulation De- rtment. L) e OFFICES. Omaha—The Bee Hulldln‘ Bouth Omaha—City Hall Bullding, Twen- ty-fifth and M streets. ‘Counull Bluffe—10 Pearl' Street. Chicago—1640 Unity Bu}l-lln! New York-—2328 Park Row Building. Washington—501 Fourteenth Street. CORREBPONDENCE. Communications relating 10 news and edi- torial matter should be uddressed: Omaha Bee, Edlitorial Department REMITTANCES. Remit by dra‘t, express or postal order yable to The Bi Publishing Company. s'n )8 accepted in payment of mail accounts. Personal checks, except on Omaha or eastern exchanges, not accepted. TH. BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION. State of Nebraska, Douglas County, s: George B. Tzschuck, secretary of The Bee Publishing Company, bein auly l't‘lrnd says that the actual number of full an complete copies of The Daily Morning, Boning and Sunday Bee prited, during the month of October, 1908, was as foliow 17. 18, 19. 31,170 81,100 81,100 .30,940 Less unsold and Net total sales. e sales............ . GEORGE B. TZSCHUCK. resence and sworn to ay of October, A. D., M. B. HUNGATE. Net ave: Subseribed in fore me this 4t reNow for the president's special mes- :st to congress, o A The bible-in-the-schools issue seems to have been quickly dispelled from the local pulpit. Another case of too much religion in politics, Speculation on the favorite for the cardinal's hat, when a new Amerlcan wardinalate shall be created, may con- tinue for a little while longer. S Omaha has always been partial to Methodists and with the permission of the weather man will be pleased to extend hospitality to the visiting bishops. E—— We fear that transforming the city salary lst into judgments will not fm- prove the city's eredit. It is too bad a Detter scheme to tide over %traitened finances shotld fot have béen devised. T © Omaba wants the grain market and accompanying cereal and flouring mills, starch factorles, ete, and {t wants them badiy enough to go after them in earnest. ‘Now s the time to Lammer ‘while the iron is hot. ——— Our amiable popocratic contemporary has suddenly taken to ridiculing and disparaging the Omaha police depart- < ment, and that, too, just when one of its own favorite police ¢ ptains Is charge as acting chief. Ingraiitude. —— Prophet Dowie gives up the redemp- tion of New York as a bad job, but promises to try again in two years with a host of 10,000 followers. In the In-| terval the wickedness of Chicago will be enough to demand all of his atten- tion, in Em——— It has been a long time now siuce we heard any Platte river power canal talk. A reswrrection of the projcct, however, may be expected at any moment when the news may be sprung that it has been successfully fluanced for the| *steenth time. — As a tall to the democratic dog the people’s independent party has certainly been a travesty on Independenc The strange part about it is that some of the so-called independent leaders pre- tend to be only now discovering how little independence they have had. People Interested In sidetracking John Mitchell from his position of leadership with organized labor are busy finding fine places in the political or industrial field to which to promote him. It must e remembered, howevper, that to carry out these various bensficent objects re- .quires Mr. Mitchell's consent, Epe—— It is right plain now from a perusal of its editorial page that the sporting | editor of the World-Heruld was wot- in ou the gate receipts of the recent fake boxing tourney which it holds such a horrible example, or his influence I8 sadly waning. That paper fusists on defending its exciusive right to do all the faking In Omula, That whitewashing report 8¢ the plumbing steal ut the county hospital 1ay satisté the wembers of the county ard who are in the ring, but it wil! not satisfy the taxpayers who pay the Lills. A good plumber is sadly needed up clse as 10 tedar out the political pipe lines that are being operated in the county court Louse to tap the county treasury. e The dignity of a “surgical operation” is conferred nowadays on u great many commonplace exploits which formerly went by some other name or were not €ven thought sufficiently important to have a special name at all. It now lakes & surgical operation to remove ap ingrowing finger nall or eut off a trouble- some eyelash. That is the explanation vhy wsurgery bLas become an exact ‘science, \ \ THE VICE PRESIDENCY. The Washington correspondent of the Brooklyn KEagle says there are signs that the republican leaders have picked Myron T. Herrick, govarnor-elect of Ohilo, to be President Roosevelt's run- ning mate next year. The correspond- ent quotes a western man, sald to be on intimate terms with Mr. Hanna, as expressing the opinion that the senator, who s known to be an inti- mate friend of Mr. Herrick and to have brought about his nomination and elec tion, will urge the nomination of that gentleman for the vice presidency and be thinks that in that event Mr. Her- rick “will have an exceedingly good chance of being the nominee. Undoubtedly if Senator Hanna desire that Mr. Herrick shall be the candidate for vice president he will be able to exert a very strong influence in hie be- half in the pepublican national conven- tion and the attestation of Herrick's popularity in Ohio is certainly very much in his favor. There 18 no doubt a8 to his sterling republicanism and he has been very successful as a business man, without having any connection, so far as known, with any trust or other combination. But it might fairly be ob- Jected to Ohlo’s governor-elect that be- ing comparatively new to politics and consequently not having given any marked service to his party, he is hardly entitled to so distinguished a position as that of vice president of the United States, There are precedents, unquestionably, that would justify his noniination, but the .present feeling among republicans generally is that the candidate for vice president next year should be a man very well known to the country and who has performed such service to the party as to give him a strong clalm to so high an honor as the viee presidential nomination. It can hardly be said in behalf of Mr. Her- rick that he answers this requirement He was almost unknown politically be fore he became the republican candidate for governor of Ohio and his services to the party had been entirely local. There 18 another important considera- tion which should have weight with the national convention. This Is the selec- tion of a vice presidential candidate from the west, in which Ohio is not properly included. That state Is no longer western, as the geographical di- | visions are now designated, but is in the central group of ‘commonwealths and its Interests are identified more with the eastern' than the western states. As the candidate for president next year will b from east of the Alleghenies his running mate should be o representative of the great region west of the Mississippl. Every consid- eration of fairness and of sound polit- ical policy dictates this. The great west contributes enormously to the wealth and prosperity of the nation. Its peo- ple are enterprising, progressive and patriotic. Among Its citizens are men capable of filling the highest office in the gift of the American people. This section is_entitled to the candidate fo vice president and every western dele- gate to the republican natlonal conven- tion of 1904 should Insist upon the selec- tion of a candidate from the west for that position. —— ILOMBIA'S PROTEST. The fact that the government of Colombia has made a protest against the action of the United States in giv- Ing recognition to the provisional gov- ernment In Panama is what was to have been expected. But it is not a matter of very serlous lmportance and for the obvious reason that Colombia had actuall randoned the isthmus to the insurrectionists and left them in complete control of the situation, so that, as has already been pointed out, our government had either to relinquish its treaty obligations in the isthmus, which requires that transit shall be kept open and free, and also that it shall protect the commercial interests of other nations. or enter into relations with the provisional government. It ought to be evident to anyone who wives the matter intelligent considera tion that the United States could not have taken a different course from what it has without to all Intents und pur- poses surrendering the authority ~and the duty prescribed in the treaty of 1846 with New Grenada—now Colombla —and thus placed iteelf absolutely at the merey of the Colombian government. Suppose our government had declined to take any notlce—of the action of the people of Panama and had nllowed the Colomblan troops to take possession of the Panamg railroad for the Invasion of the isthmus. Tk it not perfectly ap- parent that the effect of this would have been to close the raflre trattic and thus defeat the réquirement of the treaty between the Unlted States and Colow If Colombia was eon- ceded the right to use the railroad for wilitary purposes the same privilege would have to be conceded to the revolu- tionists; Thus the obligation of this itry to maintain free and unimpeded meree aeross the isthmus of Pang tld in effect have heen abandoned and the Uaited States would in effect have surrendered its authority and its hts under the treaty of 1546, That it was the plain and imperative duty of our government to maintain its authority over the isthmus, as clearly preseribed by the treaty, seems to us to be unquestionable. A good deal of stress i heing laid upon the assumption that the revelution in Panama was prompted by Americans and that our government was not unaware of what was taking place. There is not the least evidence in support of this. 1t is pure conjecture. But If all that is said in this regand be a faet it 1s none the less the duty of the Unitod States to require that in the in- terest of the world's commerce neither the government of Colombia nor the peo- ple of Panama shall be permitt-d to in terfere with or obstruct the free transit of the isthmus. So far as the protest of Colombin is concerned it will undoubtedly receive f Ohio | is under {tlon of corruption and ad Ine.to regular | have been svirred up to the task of respectful attention, but it is hardly pos- | votes out of half a million represents the sible that there will be any change from the position which our governmént has taken and which it will undoubtedly be able to Justify before the world. —_— DEMUCRACY'S"HUPE. Nebraska has gone republican now for four successive years and that Nebraska nortaal conditfons uin a publiean state is reluctantly recognized by the opposition spokesman. Nebraska was lost to republicanism by a combina- calamity and hope for' reinstatement | the restoration of the old con- | re- democracy’s rests o ditions. Some of the democratic leaders are content to bury their secret hopes in their own breasts, but not so with Edgar Howard, the doughty quill-driver of the Columbus Telegram, who speaks right out in meeting without mincing words, Nebraska will remaln a republican state,” declares Judge Howard, “as long as crop prices remain fair. After awhile Nebraska farmers will have to sell corn for less money than they get for it now. Hog prices will be lower. Interest rates will be higher. The farmer does not pay much attention to the way the rail- roads are robbing him now. He is get- ting fair prices for his grain and live stock, land values are still soaring and he s still doing fairly well, even after paying such enormous tribute to the rail- roads. All this will change after a little while. The farm cannot always stand the drain of tribute now belng levied, Then the shoe will' be on the other foot, and then it will be tight, and then it will pinch, and the farmer, like the prodigal son, will ‘come to himeelf.’ " This is, indeed, a hopeful prospect. When calamity stalks through the state and crop failure stagnates industry democracy will claim its reward as a true prophet. When farmers have to mortgage their lands, sell their live stock for anything it will bring, pay whatever Interest the money lender may demand, then the star of demooracy in Nebraska will be bright, When the railroads shall have all gone into the hands of receivers and the wheels of the mills and factories ceased to hum, when the wage-worker is again reduced to enforced idleness, then de- mocracy in Nebraska will feel at home and look for an endorsement for the consummation of its wishes. Instead of directing its efforts toward improving conditions and maintaining the plentiful prosperity now at hand, the democratic program will be to produce calamity, by which it expects to prosper. Democracy’s hope in Nebraska is surely inviting. The picture drawn by Judge Howard deserves to be framed and hung bdfore every democratic con- vention. With such inspiration the democratic party in this state cannot fail to attract all the slothful who hope to fatten on other people's misfortunes, The champions of the Denver von- ference pronunciamento declared that if the Nebraska populists in state conven- tion did not endorse their program the populist ticket, in this state would be foredoomed to defeat. The conven- tion refused to take this advice and the predicted defent ensued. It does not follow, however, that had the work of the Denver confi ce been ratified fusion vietory would have been achleved. It will be in order now to hold another populist conference to take ap inventory of the remnants. Tt should be noted that In the recent election Judge Doane, the veteran demo- cratic war horse, polled nearly votes as cAndidate for judge of the dis- trict court, and that, too, with. his own party organ opposed to him. . It is safe to say that nine-tenths of these votes cdme from democrats who do not take the democratic editor's advice. In the session of congress just preced- ing the presidential election the opposi- tion minority usually finds itself de- voting its time and talents exclusively to a manufacture of political capital against the administration by magnify- Ing and distorting the officlal record. The present session promises to be no exception to the rule. Insurance agents always tell us that the taxes fmposed on thelt concerns are pald by the policy holders. The ques- tion 1s, then, If the Insurance people are successful in thelr effort to knock out the Insurance clause of the new revenue law, wi'l they bave the kinduess to re- duce the rates exacted of those buy the riske? Bryan's daughter is said to who Colonel writing a’ book which she proposes to inflice upon the publie, It is feared her bhook will produce the story nor the royalty which dis- tinzulshed her father's “First Battle” as a successful literary venture. to be uneither Diserimination fu Graft, Chicago Record-Herald Nevertheless and notwithstanding it is entirely safe to predict that_no Ship- bullding trust millionaires will go to keep Sam Parks compgny In the pententiary w a Name? Minneapolts Journal. The name of the judge who decided ad- versely to Mr. Bryan's claim to a share n the Bennett estate is Cleveland, which probably does not make the judgment any mare acceptable. Playing at Baltimore American. I regard to the Panama rebellion and the establishment of the k. little republic's (ndependence, either thg United States played in great luck or somebody's fine Itallan hand was pretty busy in the matter, Short-Lived Wrath, Boston Transcript. \. amount of feeling—the aggregate protest— of Pennsylvania against a measure which the entire press denounced to the Tast limit of excited invective. Supine Pennsylvania! What Ohio's Verdict Means, Chicago Chroniclé (dem.). The verdiet passed upon Tom Johnson was a democratic verdict so far as its spectacular fentures go, and it covers the case of Willlam J. Bryan as effectually as it does that of the man whom he had se- lected for his politieal helr. | Not Mnch Abonut, Philadelphia Record (dem.). That McClellan carried New York City is a very Insignificant reason for mention- ing his name in comnection with the next presidential election. If he had carried New York state it would have meant something, | but any democrat ought to be capable of carrying the city. Manifest Deatiny. Philadelphia Pres: Canada Is a trifle plqued at us just now, it is true, but events are forcing home upon it the truth that its manifest destiny, by which its happiness and prosperity also are meant, I8 to become a part of this big country, toward which successes seem 80 naturally to gravitate, e S — WHY HANNA 1S CHESTY. Johnsonism and Bryanism Barled Deep in Ohlo. Philadelphia Press. The most pronounced and telling result of Tuesday's elections was the sweeping republican victory in Ohlo.’ It breaks the record iIn that somewhat emotional state. Mr. Hanna has the largest majority ever given for a senator in Ohlo, and Mr. Her- rick the largest majority ever given for governor, except possibly for John Brough against the odious Vallandigham in war times. It is largely the personal triumph of Mr Hanna, and it makes him more of a power than ever. He was the direct and imme- diate Issue in Ohlo. His antagonists aimed their whole attack at him. Tom Johnson, though nominally a candidate for gov- ernor, openly said that he was making no fight on the governorship, but exerting all his strength to defeat Mr. Hanna. The ro- publican leader was assalled In every way and from every standpoint. Mr. Hanna, on his part, accepted the personal fssue and met it in the boldest fashion without flinch- ing at any point. He went all over the| state and smote his adversaries hip and thigh. His direct, pungent, meaty speeches, which ‘struck straight from the shoulder, aroused enthusiastic support and carried the people everywhere. The people ifke a positive, earnest, up-and-down leader, and they had such a leader in Mr. Hanna. As a result, Mr. Hanna returns to the senate armed with new strength and influ- ence. Senator Frye, who Is among the keenest and most experienced of observ- ers, expressed the,opinion some weeks ago that Mr. Hanna is the most useful and powerful man in public life. That opinion will be confirmed and emphasized now. The Ohlo battle was his battle. It is the great- est triumph of the year. He stands with the potential state behind him, and backed by broad sentiment to which it gave the most emphatic expression. The spirit of McKinleylsm asserted: itself and it s & force to be reckoned with. HOW LITTAUER SAVES HIMSELF. Close Cull of a Congressman Inter- ented in Government Contract Harper's- Weekly. Congressman Littphier will not be prose- cuted by the War department undir the statute which prohibits members of con- gress from making, or sharing in, contracts with the governmbiit. The secretary war having asked the attorney general whether the government should take action on one of the glove contracts In which Mr. Littauer seemed to pe implicated, the at- torney general has replled, that because the statute orders prosecution for money “ad- vanced,” and the contract in question has been fully executed, the goods delivered | and all payments finished, the government may not hope to xue successfully for money paid on it. That is to say, it Is too late | to take action. 8o as (o prosecuting Mr. Littauer for misdemeancr in violating the | statute and collecting a fine of $3.000 from him, the attorney general says it is too late IN THE ARMY, Events of Interest Gleaned from th Army 4 Navy Register, The War department has received an In- teresting endorsement on some officlal pa- pers from General John C. Bates, United States Army, commanding general of the Department of the Lakes. Some weeks ago a major filed charges of misconduct including the incident of Intoxication, against an officer senior in rank. The ac- cused officer 18 one who has a most distin- gulshed service and is regarded as a man of exemplary personal character. The charges, therefyre, attracted much atten- tion, and it (¥.y had culminated in @& court-martial would have excited much sympathy for the accused. General Butes made an Investigation, as he was obliged to do under the cirtumstances, and he re- ported that the accused officer had, for the first time In his lite, been under the in- fluence of liquor; that although gulity of that convivial Indiscretion he had commit- ted no act of which he need be ashamed and that his conduct in the state of in- ebriety was quite as clrcumspect as his bearing In his usual condition. General Bates wound ip his endorsement with the statement that If it were not for the ef- fect upon the personal record of the senfor officer who stood accused thus unjustly he would recommend for trial by court-mar- tial the mccuser. The incident has, there- fore, gone on the archives of the govern- ment to the harm of no one, unless it be the officer who found fault with his senior thus pinnecessarily and prematurely. The Army boad engaged on the revision of the infantry drill regulations has adopted tentatively some changes in the commands of firing. These changes will re- quire amendment of the commends for skirmish fire in the new edition of the firing regulations now in course of preparation. It is necessary, of course, to have the pro- visions of both books {dentical. Tt is ex- pected that the manual of the new arm will be {ssued from the Army ordnance of- fice in a few davs, when its provisions can be incorporated In the text of the new firing regulations. No change fn army uniforms made in a long time has been more generally in- dorsed than that whicH marks the return to the white stripe and white chevron of infantry. The sentiment of infantry offi- cers {n this respect was pretty well known In Washington where some statistics have been In the possession of the general staft for several months. The percentage of officers in favor of the return to the white r&—lpr and chevron was €0 high as to be regatded as practically unanimovs. This Incident of unanimity excites wonder over the original abandonment of the white and Of coyrse that shade of blue i3 retained for the trimmings, and it is no violence to the artistic sensibility to find the color on the Shoulder and on the collar or even in the lining of the cape. The offense was noth- Ing less than shocking, however, when the washed-out blue found itself alongside of, and in striking contrast to, the darker, but still \light, blue of the trousers. Tt is hoped now that the matter is settled for The general staff of the army Is consider- ng which of the infantry regiments shall be sent to the Philippines in 1904. It has been decided not to send to the islands any of the colored regiments and probably but one regiment of infantry will go abroad next year. In the natural order of events the choice would be hetween those regi- ments which. were the carllest to return to the United States from the Philippines In 1902, If this Incident controls fn the matter the choice seems to be between the of | Thira and Twelfth regiments of infantry, both of which came back from the islands In April of last year. ‘There are, however, ten other regiments which returned in the course of the next few months, and there may be reason why one of these should be sclected Instead of the Third or Twelfth regiments, The general staff of the army is . still consldering the reports recelved from army inspectors who visited the colleges and uni- vergities in all parts of the country where are on duty army officers as Instructors of tactics. Home of these colleges were found the adoption of the characterless light blue. | all time and that the white has been | restored to the Infantry as its permanent shade, for that also, “since the statutory period | of limitation within which such a prosecu- tion would be brought elapsed more than a year ago." Littaver of the da nger of This decision relieves Mr. government | prosecution, but leaves untouched the ques- tion whether or not he yiolated the law. It may be sald for him that so far as has by the contracts with which he wap sus {pected of { republic of France. appeared the government has lost nothing being concerned. The gloves made in his factory were good, so far as appears, and the price not excessive, But Mr. Littauer can hardly exult in the posi- tion in which the attorney general leaves him. In an open alr sermon that the presi- dent preached in Washington on Sunda; October 25, he called earnestly for hon ‘not only the honesty that keeps skirts technically clear, but the honesty 18 such according to the spirit as well as the letter of the law.” Doubtles man may violate a statute and still be an honest man, but in so far as Mr. Littauer's hon- esty was affected by the charge that he violated section 3739 of the Revised Statutes its skirts are as yet not even technfeally clear ¢ PERSONAL NOTES. Senators Hanna and Quay have again demonstrated the advantage of always standing pat on a good hand. D. M. Parry of the Natfonal Manufac- turers' assoclation says the republic s in danger. Parry has long needed a cooling draught. Sixteen million pupils in the common w00ls is & record to which Uncle Sam in- vites the attention of the other nations of the earth. The czar of Russia s the largest individ- ual landowngr In the world. The area of his possessions is greater than that of the A Chicago woman walted two years for the effect of a stolen kiss to wear off. She walted in vain, and thén entered suit for damages. With ordinary diligence she should have discovered the financial rating of the kisser before this. Mrs. Nellle Grant Sartorls, General Ulysses 8. Grant's only daughter, has cs- tablished herself in St. Louls for the win- ter. Her daughter, Miss Rosemary, and her son, Captain Algernon Sartorls, will spend the winter with her. Ex-Congressman E. B. Taylor of Warren, 0., who succeeded James A. Garfleld ce representative of the old Nineteenth dis- trict In congress on the advance of the latter to the presidency, has just completed the fifty-elghth year of his practice of the law. Harvard students say that the cheeriest chap among them s Arthur E. Small, a eripple who moves on crutches. His father, a Boston furniture dealer, has fitted his son's room in Thayer hall with everything that a student could wish. Among the One highly interesting fact lurks behind the haif-million mass of figures in the re- turns from Pennsylvania. The republican candidate for treasurer got 513,762, votes, the republican candidate for auditor got 500,41 The difference means that the lat- ter candidate voted for the press-muszsie bill in the legislature. Thirteen thousand young man's possessions is a low buck- board auto, with which he makes long and tremendously speedy trips about the country. Small leads the happlest kind of life and is regarded as a living sermon by his fellow students, who universally love dnd respect him for his sunny disposition and affectionate ways to have falled to come up to the require- ments of the government, and In such in- stances It has been the custom of the gen- eral staff to refer the criticlsms to the college authorities most directly concerned. The particular ground of complaint has been that the colleges have not given the required amount of time to military work. In those Instances where attention has been called to the deficlency, the excuse has been made that the schedule of work for the season was prepared before the college authorities had knowledge of the requirements of the War department, but these universities have promised to make amends at the next schodl year. These reports hereafter will go to a board which has charge of the Army War college, and @ gystem. of Inspection will be adopted tending to keep the educational institutions up to the departmental standard. MONUMENTS FOR HUMORISTS, Proposition the Smil elines to Take Serfoualy. St. Louls Globe-Democrat. 8t. Loule has been invited to contribute toward a monument for Bill Nye. Humor- Ists are rising in the world, when national | monuments are reared In thelr memory. Heretofore it has been considered that they have been sufficiently requited when we have laughed at their jokes. Artemus Ward, the first of the American humorists, is not commemorated by a shaft raised by popular contributions. Most of our other funny men have resolutely refused to die. | Humor appears to conduce iongevity as much as its consequence laughter, which is credited with bringing length of days Though, probably, the saddest of men are the humorists. It must be no lght responsibility, not to say task, to feel that it is compulsory to fetch a laugh. It might become hateful it certainly does often be- come lugubrious; and who recalls the face of a true humorist which did not appear to reflect pain rather than felicity? Is the sad face the handiwork of the mind thronged with comicalities, or does it fore- shadow them from the first? Are humor- iste happy? If they should ever answer this question and say no, we should regard it as another joke. » one has sympathy for a humorist. His aches and flinesses must even furnish materfal for mirth, Murk Twain colned his dyspepsia into a funny story. If the humorist tries to be serfous and is persistent in it, people grow angry with him. Young writers who start out to be humorists must abide by their Dr. Lyon’s PERFECT Tooth Powder Used by-people of refinement (or over a quarter of a century PREPARED BY Absolutely Pure THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE choice if once accepted in thelr chosen role by the public. You may change every busi- ness but that; a lawyer may become & merchant a statesman, but establish your- seif as a humorist and you are marked for life. Never was consistency such a jewel as in the jokemaker. Bob Burdette's Bap- tist congregation in California can not be restrained from laughing at his sermons, and a roar of merriment has greeted George W. Peck's remarks on the weather. Let the humorist's work deteriorate, either by s own intention or because he can't help it, still he will not be released from his hard lot. Public opinfon requires him to serve out a life sentence. If /anybody deserves a monument, it is the wretched, overworked, overjoked humorist. His is a lofty courage, for he always runs the risk of being laughed at Instead of laughed with, | TALK OF THE STATE PRESS, Pender Republic: When all have had an opportunity to explain “how it happened,” the election incident will be considered closed. Ponca Journal: Republican victorles are now every day occurrences in Nebraska, 80 It is beginning to scem a misnomer to call it Bryan's state. Ord Quiz: What will the leaders of the defunct populist party do now? The last kick In the death agony of the party in this vicinity and In the state was to tumble themselves out of the democratic bed so that they will not likely want to crawl back Into that place for warmth. There seems to be onl; and that is to rap loud and long at the republican back door for admission on pro- bation. 1If they behave themselves they time become useful and honored members of the party of progress. p Ashland Gazette: Surely and steadily the republicans are recovering } of the ground Jost by the organization of the fusion movement. We hold our own and make a gain of two places in the court house at Wahoo, those of coromer and surveyor. We also take the rew office of county assessor. We also make a sub- stantial gain in the Fifth judicial district. tiring Sornberger, populist, and electing Hvans, republican, in his place. It is only a question of a little time when there will be no opposition to render repub- lean victories even coubtful. | Tekamah Herald: W. G. Sears for dl trict judge proved himself d sure winner /by recetving 631 majority In his home county, 262 majority In Washington county and 615 in Douslas county, making 1,498 majority in the district over Dickin- | son, the high man on the democratic ticket. Sarpy county's complete returns are not vet in, which when recelved may change |the total figures a/little, but his election is assured by over 1200 majority. All of | the other republican candidates for judges in this district were elected by larger ma- | Jorities than Bears. So it is a clean sweep. Norfolk Press: Young men who closely watched the political struggle which ended on Tuesday ought not to find much in- ducement in it for the young man to enter politics, It is safe to say that there was not a candidate in the fleld who did not feel that he had to some extent lowersd the standard of his manhood by being forced to appeal for votes from his fel- low citizens. The majority of them, doubt- less, did not want to do it, but the fact that it has become a custom forced all to get outgand sollcit votes whether they | wanted to_or not. The custom is bad and demoralizing on both votér and office holder and if not abafidoned will work to prevent the best -men from running for office. B —— Good Platform to Stand On. St. Louls Globe-Democrat. { The Republic of Panama begins the world ' with a desire to facilitate ocean commerce and « purpose to support the Monroe doc- banker, a geheral a raflroad president, a | origina) one sensiblé thing to do | will find a welcome and might even in ! LAUGHING REMARKS, A happy-go-lucky Nebraska editor is the t “Sunny Ji Listen to him: No wife to fear, no money in the bank, No_tea to buy, no velling kid to spank A free lunch counter always ready at my hand— Say, ain't I dwelling in the promised land? “‘Are you satisfied with the way the elec- tion went in your part of the countr; “Of ocourse 1 am, answered Benator Sorghum. “If I weren't T:ln( to be sat- isfled 1 wouldn't have had it go that way." —~Washington Star. Man—Oh, yes; she refused me and gave me no reasons whatever, Mald—Isn't she p saint!—Judge. Dora—Are you weatherwise? Cora—Yes, ‘1 know if I put on my old clothes and' go downtown on a_rainy day the sun will come out.—Detroit Free Press Merritt-—Young Mrs. Olerox that tol tering old Rustand ‘of hers her. "..n"‘l Isn’t that ridiculous? He has the mene: Gessit—Not_at_all. she used to be In the theatrical line, you Philadelphia Press, ‘Uatie," gald Archle, “do you think vou loye me well enough to marry me?' 1 do not,” she promptly answered. “In that' case,” rejolned Archle, with egual promptness, “I shall not ask you to. | No young woman ought to marry a_man unless she is sure she loves him. Don't you think Howells' latest story is one of the best he has ever written?'—Chicag: Tribune, “You say dat Mistah Rasberry Jinkins is done reformed an' jine de church?' Yassindeed.” #:Gwine to gib up all hiy bad way “Yas. You see he's done got de dyspepsia €0 bad dat he can't eat chicken, nohow.' '~ ‘Washington Sta: ———e. THE WONDERFUL COUNTRY. John Boyle O'Reflly. | There once was a time when, as old songs prove ft, The earth was not round, but an endless plain; N The sea was as wide as the heavens above d n again, ve, and more's the I .Naur' should end!—when the woild could Y, ‘When singers told tales of a crystal eity In a wonderful country far away! ) it— Just millions of miles, And that was the time, But the schools must come, With their To it the Vistons mud welgh the Bpeil o o s ai ; They scoffed at the dreams and 'é:."?u.:: And Slrcled the worid. with thel parallel nd cire & world, wi oir ol They charted the vales and the lllnlll) meadows, Where a_poet might ride for a year arid a day They sounded the depths and they pierced the shadowe, Of that wonderful country far away. For fancles they gave us thelr microscopics, For knowledge, a rubble of fact and doubt; Wing-broken and caged, llke a bird from the troples, Romance at the wandering stars looked out. Cold Reason, they sald, is the earthly Eden, Go, study its sprin d its ores assay, But fairer the flowers and fields forbidden Of that wonderful country far away. They questioned the slumbering baby's laughter, And cautioned its elders to dream by rule; All mysteries past and to come hereafter “'l‘rah!tllfled nd solved In their common school. But sweeter the streams and the wild bifds singing ¢ The ;‘lfinfilhlpl and loves that were truc alway; The Indn:ll unseen, ke a far bell ringing Tn that wonderful country far away. Nay, ng in their reason our dear illusion Wit"Hier than irathe (hat are measued and welghed— 0 land of the spirit! where nio fntrusion From bookmen or doubters shall aye he made There still breaks the murmuring sea to greet us On shadowy valley and peaceful bay; And souls that were truest still walt to meet us In that wonderful country far away! Headache Cured and prevented by Dr.. 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